Fun With Water vol. 1.0
authored by J.U.Tyler
18 JUNE 1995
As everyone knows, water is one of the most abundant compounds on the
planet. One molecule of it is composed of 2 hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen
atom. It covers 70% of the Earth's surface. One liter of water masses one
kilogram (or 2.2 pounds). It has a neutral Ph, and is therefore good for
diluting things. It's freezing point is 32 deg F or 0 deg C, and it's boiling
point is 212 deg F or 100 Deg C. Life on Earth would be nigh impossible
without it. Stupid yuppies (and other people) pay large sums of good money
for ridiculous small portions of supposedly "pure" water. However, most
people view water as boring, which is sad, because it has many interesting
applications; which the creative or mis-guided person can do much with.
WARNING: SOME OF THIS STUFF IS NOT NICE, DANGEROUS, AND POSSIBLY
ILLEGAL. THE FOLLOWING TEXT IS FOR INFORMATIVE PURPOSES ONLY, AND
SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTED. THE AUTHOR TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE
OUTCOME OF ANY ACTIONS TAKEN BY THE READER.
(Doesn't that stuff look silly? It's just _water_ after all.)
Its difficult to decide where to start. I think I will start with the
applications of water in the form of projectiles.
Everyone is familiar with the famous "super soaker" (TM) water guns.
These can be modified or used as they are issued; with various unpleasant
results. One modification is of the "XP-75" model soaker. The bright orange
nozzle can be unscrewed to reveal a hole with a bore size of approximately
1/2 inch. If the trigger is depressed with no nozzle, the entire contents of
the resivoir can be fired in under 2 seconds, with noticeable recoil, and
moderate discomfort on the part of the target. Instead of filling with water
you could pump it up with air only, and place some sort of projectile in the
hole (it would need to fit fairly tightly) and use the air to project it,
however this will require a lot of pumping, and the results will vary. I
suggest using a gun designed for using compressed gas to fire projectiles
(I.E. paintball or pellet/BB).
Of course, what fun would it be if we only loaded plain water into
our supersoakers? As I mentioned before, water can dilute and dissolve
things. One can mix water with bleach, ammonia, cholrine, Nair(TM) brand
chemical hair remover, sugar, baking soda, alka-seltzer(TM), food or laundry
coloring and dyes, or any number if other substances, with varying unpleasant
results. WARNING: mixing ammonia with bleach or chlorine can cause VERY
unpleasant results (the formation of chlorine gas, a yellowish heavy gas that
is corrosive and poisonous. More on that later. If this forms in your soaker
in small quantities, you can use it as a gas projection device, but you will
want a gasmask. If this forms in large quantities, your gun could explode,
killing or injuring you, and possibly causing blindness and severe lung
damage). Being hit with these loads can be quite unpleasant. Bleach can
damage the target's clothing, and eyes. Nair will have obvious results.
Ammonia and Chlorine are quite unpleasant, and can cause chemical burns,
though this is unlikely with the concentrations found in household items,
though eye and mucous tissue damage can occur. Any mixture containing both
an acid and a base will yield large amounts of gas, and some heat. If you
do it right, the lazy person need not pump up the gun. If you do it wrong,
and use too much... BOOM! It blows up in your face. Of course it might just
over-power the valve and start spraying uncontrollably until the pressure is
released. The lazy person may wish to use seltzer water; to fire, first give
the gun a few good shakes. You can also use soda with sugar in it, see the
section on annoyance. Whenever non-water contents are used, the wise person
will clean the gun out with water soon afterwards. Do this throughly, as you
don't want any gunk to form in there and jam it up. This will also help
avoid the nasty results of a chemical reaction that you didn't mean to occur.
It's not water but since it goes in the water gun, I will include it.
Your soaker can be loaded with flammable liquids. You will want to affix a
small piece of something that is slow burning to the muzzle of your soaker.
As the gun is made from plastic, secure the burning material a few inches away
from the muzzle, perhaps on a piece of coathanger wire. If the flame jet
forms too close to the soaker, it will melt the muzzle, making your soaker
useless. It also could have a flameback, and explode the resivoir. Make
sure to fire your flamethrower in short bursts, do NOT fire continuously.
And be careful not to burn yourself on the ingiter you made.
Earlier I mentioned the soaker xp75 model. Be extremely careful with
it. I believe this model may have been discontinued; because it has a design
flaw. The "quick release" system has just two tiny plastic tabs which hold
the bottle in place. If this is subjected to shock, such as being dropped
or hit, it can come loose, whereupon the "emergency pressure release valve"
kicks in. The bottle becomes lodged in a sideways position, and its contents
begin to spray out of a hole on the side of the gun. If met with sufficient
shock, the tabs can break, causing an effect like a water bottle rocket
(more later). I do not need to describe the undesirable effects on the
operator of the weapon if the gun had been filled with an unpleasant
substance.
As you recall, I mentioned that water freezes at 32 deg F. This can
be useful for making water into projectiles. If you have a paintball gun
you know that they can send a small object going at very high speeds. The
standard paintball has a diameter of .68 inches. If you take the trouble to
make a special ice cube(really cylender) maker, you can make ice bullets to
load in your splattermatic 1000. They are not compatible with the loading
mechanism however, so you will have to muzzle load. You may with to employ a
long piece of wooden dowel to push the bullets down the barrel. If the fit
it too tight however, it means the mold is the wrong size. You can also use
ice in a slingshot. The best thing about ice bullets is that they leave
behind no evidence! They will melt, then evaporate without a trace. (Or
with a trace, if that is desired, see the next section)
Now I will deal with the way water can be used to get back at someone,
perhaps that annyoing neighbor who is always having a big backyard party,
with a Bar-B-Que or swimming pool or both or whatever, making noise and
playing the stereo too loud and not even inviting you, his friendly anarchist
neighbor.
Pool party huh? There are numerous ways to screw that up. One of my
favorites is to take a couple big boxes of arm & hammer (TM) baking soda and
loft em over the fence and into the pool (while people are in there or not)
chlorine, used to prevent yucky stuff from growing in the pool is an acid.
Thus, the water in the pool is acidic. The baking soda reacts rather
violently with it, producing lots of bubbles, which is really a minor
annoyance, but it looks cool. Of course, if you use enough, the pool looks
like a giant beer, and a cloud of carbon dioxide will form, which is
unpleasant to breathe. If you do this way ahead of time, and use enough
baking soda, and the neighbor doesn't take real good care of the pool, you can
neutralize all the chlorine, and nasty muck will start growing in it. On the
opposite end of the spectrum, you can go to a pool supply or hardware store,
and get pool chlorine. You might even be able to get it from your neighbor,
for free, if the idiot leaves the container lying around. When nobody's
looking, add a healthy amount to the pool. When people go it there, they will
be rather uncomfortable. Be careful not to add too much, as you could have
their skin melting off their bones, though this would take a LOT of chlorine.
Or, you could toss some ammonia in there, and make chlorine gas. Another nice
thing is to go down to the candy store, and pick up a Baby Ruth (TM) bar.
Remove the wrapper, and toss it (the bar) in. Looks just like a nice hunk o'
shit, floating there. Or, if youre in a really foul mood, put on some gloves,
and go scour the sidewalk for some doggy shit. Then, wearing the gloves, loft
the shit into the pool. Another thing you could do is to take a cherry bomb
or two, extend the fuse a bit so you dont blow your hand off, and throw that
into the pool. The shockwave travels thru water better than thru air, and
will rebound off the sides. This will hurt plenty to the people in there.
It will damage eardrums badly if they are submerged, and the shock could
cause internal organ bruising and bleeding to occur. You can also use this
technique to catch fish; you toss in some explosive, and dead fish float up.
And it won't be a problem, since cherrybomb fuses don't go out even if ya
flush 'em down the toilet (NOT YOUR OWN TOILET THO). If it's an aboveground
pool, and you are in a really bad mood, take your spyderco knife or the big
Ginsu knife that can pierce a quarter, and stab a nice hole right thru the
pool wall. Blub Blub. Try to do it on the side closest to the house, cause
you might flood his basement too. If you don't mind the legal problems, get
a long extention cord, plug it an and then plug a toaster into it, and then
lob the toaster into the pool.<BZZAP>
Now, on to the rest of the backyard party. Earlier I mentioned sugar
to put in the watergun. Why? Mix up a nice batch of sugarwater. Filter it
so as there are no loose particles of sugar that could jam the workings. Now
spray it around the area. Especially on the chairs. You will want to do this
before the party starts, like when you see signs of prepeartion. This will
attract ants, bees, wasps etc. Not exactly the kind of things you want to
have around your party. Is there a punchbowl? Mix up some saltwater and
filter it. Spray it into the punch. It's important that you remain
undetected when you do this (or any of this stuff for that matter). "want
some punch?" "sure." "glug,glug..." <retch>. Do they have a bug zapper? Spray
the saltwater solution on it. Be careful to use short bursts, and make sure
that you are not grounded.(wear rubber shoes, make sure they are dry, and
don't touch anything while firing). You could spray something flammable on
the bug zapper, and when something gets zapped, ka-bloosh, the whole thing
bursts into flames. If there are birds in a tree over the yard, open fire on
them with your ice bullets, so dead birds fall on the party guests. Of course
you could just fire on the guests directly too. For maximum effect, aim at
the groin, stomach, buttocks(ass), or the small of the back.
Now, some other things you could do to get back at that annoying
asshole. Take your ice bullets, and a fresh bottle of C02. Load up, and
start blasting. You can shoot thru windows, which will shatter them. If you
hit something with the ice, chances are you will damage it. I hate those
little fucking porcelean figures and collectors plates. Blast away, and break
as much as you can. That stereo he always plays too loud? Hopefully the ice
will punch thru the plastic and break that too. Set your paintball gun to
the highest FPS it can do. If desired, you can mix things into the water
before you freeze it. Mixing ammonia will give a foul smell as it melts.
Bleach will damage cloth, and possibly wallpaper. Urine has obvious effects.
Coloring will leave a stain. Of course, to leave no evidence at all, use
clean water. Use your ice bullets to kill pidgeons, and leave em on his
porch or in his mailbox, or on his car. While you're messing with his car,
check to see it the fuel cap locks. If it doesn't, then you can have some
more fun. Instead of the tired old "put sugar in the gastank" gag, why not
top off his tank with some water? Gasoline is less dense than water, so it
will float on top of the water you so thoughtfully added. Gas tanks use a
device which floats on top of the fuel to get gas, so he won't notice
anyhthing for a while, he'll just think that he has more fuel than he really
does. He'll be driving along one day, and his engine will die. Maybe the
fucker will be in a bad part of town when this happens. While we are on this
subject, don't you hate it when a car rental place wants it back with a full
tank of gas? Just top it off as you would your neighbor's car. Don't you
hate it when in the winter your locks get iced? Well, why not ice your
neighbor's locks on purpose? Just wait for the temperature outside to be
below freezing, then take an eyedropper or syrenge filled with water, and
squirt it in the lock. While your'e at it, get a nice bucket of water, and
throw it on his front stairs and porch. It will freeze into a nice ice sheet.
Here's a few miscellaneous other things.
Next time you're in a restaurant, put a piece of ice on top the the salt
shaker, or just pour some water right in. It will make all the salt clump
together and become useless. Why not dump water into a mailbox, or the
late nite video drop box at blockbuster video? Why not shoot people with
your supersoaker in the winter? That's no fun(for them anyway). Just lookout
that your water tank doesn't freeze, as water under pressure will freeze
faster than usual. Alternatively, you could load very hot water. This sucks
when you get hit with it in hot weather, and in cold weather, if you shoot
cold objects with it, they may crack. Of course there's the classic gag where
you put a bucket of water over a door. Got a building you don't like? Flush
some cherry bombs down the toilets. Or activate the sprinkler system.
Or both! Or, you can employ an effect on the plumbing known as "water hammer"
Here's how to do it. Find a pushbutton type device. A water fountain will
usually do nicely. Push the button slowly. At one position, it will vibrate
violently, as water tries to get thru the valve at a rate that causes it to
oscillate at a harmonic frequency. Keep this up for a while, you can probably
break something with this vibration, either the valve, or possibly the pipe.
Have fun!
FREE PARKING
To get free parking from a parking meter, and possibly free stuff from other
things, do as follows. Take a piece of clay, and press a quarter flat into
the surface several times so you have a bunch of indentations. Place the
clay flat in the freezer, then fill the indentations with water. Once it is
throughly frozen, take it, clay and all, out of the freezer and transfer to a
cold insulated container. Use your ice quarters in machines. They will work
in many mechanical-type machines. I haven't tried this with video games or
soda machines, so I don't know what will happen with those. I suspect it will
not work. Putting salt water(not ice) into electronic type machines will
sometimes work, but with unpredictable results. It is difficult to avoid
detection with the salt water thing, so do it in a secluded area.
WATER BOTTLE ROCKET
Just a little fun thing to do if you're bored, though it could be filled with
the water mixes mentioned earlier, or could be used to deliver a small payload
(say a cluster bomb of impact-fuzed M-80's, instructions for this can be found
all over, probably on the site you got this file from)
STEP 1 procure the following: 1-liter soda bottles, cork or rubber stopper
which fits bottle moulth snugly, bicycle pump with needle for
inflating footballs and basketballs,some card material, tape
or glue
STEP 2 poke the needle thru the center of the stopper.
STEP 3 make rocket with fins, you can use 3 or 4 fins its up to you
use tape or glue to secure parts
DIAGRAM
_____________
| PAYLOAD |
| (OPTIONAL) |
| |
|_____________|
/ \
/ \
/ \
| |
| |
| |
| BOTTLE |
| LENGHTH NOT TO |
| SCALE |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
/\ | /\
/ \ | / \
/ \ | / \
/ \___ | ___/ \
/ | | | \ <-------FINS (CARD)
| | | | |
| |__|__|<--------- |--------BOTTLE OPENING
| | | | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
| | | | |
|__________| | |__________|
TO FIRE:
Fill partway with water. Place cork tightly into base. Place on ground so
it stands on the fins. Pump up until launch. Make several tests, as if the
cork is too tight the bottle could rupture instead of the cork coming out.
This is highly unlikely however. Experiment with different amounts of water
to find the best range.
ALTERNATE FIRING PROCEDURE:
You can modidy your mortar launcher to fire these rockets. What's that? You
don't HAVE a mortar launcher? Well, the plans are included in this file.
To fire these from a tube, the fins have to be reduced in size, until the
largest diameter of the fins is the same as the bottle. The mortar tube
should be just a little larger than the rocket. You may wish to wet the
inside of the tube to reduce friction. If the tube is too big, you can go
ahead and use it anyway, but it will affect your aim. You can make
sabots to hold the rocket in the tube, though it will take some effort. The
easiest and probably cheapest solution is to get an extra tube that is the
right size for the rocket. You may also wish to attach a drouge to the rocket
to make sure it flies correctly since the fin area has been reduced by quite
a lot. A drouge is a long streamer or cluster of streamers. Ribbons do
quite nicely.
WHY IT WORKS
Water is not compressable, while air is. The pumping pressurizes the air,
and eventually, the cork pops out. The air pushes the water out, which exerts
a force back (for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction) and
makes the rocket go.
MORTAR LAUNCHER PLANS
Here they are, the plans for a mortar launcher.
STEP 1: procure the following: Long PVC tube, with inner diameter slightly
larger than a typical water balloon.
Long elastic strip (can be gotten from back of popular science
magazine, sold as 'water baloon slingshot') or you can use surgical
tubing(the really springy kind like is used in slingshots)
aluminum or steel tube like the kind used for folding table legs and
canes and walkers and such. electical conduit works too, but is
difficult to drill
Rubber caps for ends of tubes.
Assorted nuts, bolts, screws, etc
Particle board (assorted sizes)
metal pipe wraps with screw type tightener
Thompson's water seal (tm)
Make sure to put a good coat of water seal on all the wood parts, so they
don't get rotted. Also, when cutting PVC, wear a canister type respirator,
as PVC dust can be bad for your lungs (carcinogenic). Also, some of the
plastic is likely to burn a bit during the cutting, and the products of the
combustion are toxic.
STEP 2: MAKE BASEPLATE
Cut a large rectangle of particle board. This will go flat on the ground.
You may wish to put an anti-skid surface on the bottom. Cut two trapezoidal
pieces as shown in diagram. Make sure to leave at LEAST one inch between
the edge of the hole and the upper edge of the wood.
drill hole 1/2 dia
_______________________ ___
/ __ \ | |
/ / \ \ | |
/ \__/ \ | |
/ \ | |
/ \ | |
/_________________________________\ |___|
side front
assemble these, along with the baseplate as diagrammed
_________________
| | (top view)
| __ __ |
| | | | | | Make sure the space between the blocks
| | | | | | is bigger than the pipe, but not much bigger.
| | | | | | You will need to fasten the wood together.
| | | | | | You can use wood screws thru the bottom, or
| |__| |__| | you can use adheisive, if you can find one that
| | is strong enough.
|_________________|
STEP 3 MAKE TUBE
Take a long section of pvc and cut a slot out of it on each side
______________________________________________________\/____________
| _________________________________________________________ |
| |_(SLOT)__________________________________________________| O |
|____________________________________________________________________|
The slot need not be too wide, about 1/2 inch is enough. the best way to
make the slot is with a vertical milling machine, unfortunately, most of
us don't have access to such machinery. The best you can hope for is to
drill into it, then use a saw, or to drill lots and lots of holes, then file
it out. This is very time consuming, so you may wish to just use rockets.
If you are only going to use rockets, dont make the channels at all. Near
the bottom, drill a 1/2 hole all the way thru. This will have a pin go thru
it to attach it to the baseplate. at the \/ mark, drill thru vertically. This
hole will hold the release pin, this is also unnecessary if you are launching
rockets
STEP 4 MAKE SLING
If you are going to use elastic, then you need a sling. Make one as follows:
_______ this part round
/ \ <-------/
____/ \____ the tabs stick out thru the slots, and the
| | elastic attaches to them. This piece needs
|____ ____| to be thick, so it doesn't rotate inside the
\ / tube; make it about 6 inches thick. It also
\_______/ needs a hole drilled thru it vertically,
to hold the release pin.
You will need to make this in 2 parts; a
round part with a slot in it, and a bar which goes into the slot and sticks
our of the sides to form the tabs. If it is all one piece, it will be
impossible to insert into the pipe.
STEP 5 MAKE FOREWARD ELASTIC HOLDER
This is easy, take one of those metal pipe wraps with the screw you turn to
tighten it, and clamp the elastic to the pipe near the front.
STEP 6 MAKE BIPOD
Fianlly, you need a bipod to hold up the front of the tube.
___ ____
| \ / | Make curved upper area same dia as pipe,
| \____________/ | put an anti-skid surface on the face that
| | touches the pipe. Drill 2 holes, about
| | 1/4 inch each. This piece should be a few
| O O | inches thick, enough for 2 pipe wraps to
|__________________________| go around it. Drill a hole to take a 1/4
inch bolt in each of 2 pipes, and put
rubber caps on the ends of pipes that
touch the ground.
STEP 7 ASSEMBLY
/\
/ \ PIPE WRAPS
\ // \
///\// // \ (Elastic assembly omitted)
// \//\// \
// \/ \ \ TUBE
// BLOCK \ \
// \ \
//LEGS \ \
// \ \
// \ ___\__
// \/ O \
// ___/________\___
// |________________| BASE PLATE
To aim, turn it in the direction of the target, and make a guess as to the
elevation. Fire it. Make any necessary corrections and fire again.
Helpful hint: Put the launcher in an obscured position (behind solid fence, on
the roof of a flat-roofed building, in a room and fire out the window (not
reccomended with the rocket launcher variant, you'll get your floor wet, tho
you could put out a big tarp). This will help protect you from retaliation
from the targets. Go to Toys R Us, and get some of those 2-way walkie talkies
that use 9volt batteries. Work in a team, with one person or maybe even two
servicing the weapon, and one person out acting as a foreward observer,
calling the shots and corrections to the gunnery team. You could also use this
device to launch rockets with engines, but you might melt the pipe.
That's about all, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed
writing it.
Special Thanks go to Beakman's World, Saturday afternoons at 12:30 on CBS, my
physics, chemistry, and mechanical engineering teachers in high school, to
asian girls everywhere, to anarchists everywhere who inspired me to write
this file, to the Constitution of the United States of America, to my parents;
who encourage me to be creative >:) ,and to the big bang.
(In no particular order)
This was my first text file, and any comments, or further questions, I can
use to make version 2.0, as well as other text files with informative
information. Reach me with your questions and comments on Unforgiven BBS
(718) 891-2816 Running Renegade. Mail privately, or put a message in the
Ask O Rama message sub. Mention my name in your newuser thingie.