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| Fun! with Spray Paint |
| by /\/oo\/\ Count Nibble /\/oo\/\ |
| July 31, 1985 |
| |
| A "Nibble's Own" Textfile -- (C) 1985 by Count Nibble -- Spread it around! |
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Despite the fact that spray painting is looked down upon for anarachic purposes
by so-called "Elite Anarchists" like The Neon Knights, when all is said and
done it is one of the most simple, most enjoyable, and least expensive
activities you can spend your evenings doing. What follows are a few
suggestions that you can use to bring spray paint beyond the pale of ordinary
vandalism.
Above all, the way to get the most enjoyment out of your paint can is to plan
your painting beforehand. This gives the activity an air of conspiracy that
will make it more interesting. Check out your target the day before. Will the
paint be visible to the world once the sun rises? Is it in an optimum position
to humiliate your "mark", if you have one? What color paint would show up best
on the surface you are painting (a hard decision to make in the middle of the
night)? All these decisions have a bearing on how effective the painting will
be.
When making a decision about who to hit and how to hit them, be creative! Try
to pick a slogan that will get the random person on the street to consider your
work funny, as opposed to just the work of another vandal. For example:
"MCDONALD'S SUCKS" scrawled on the wall next to the drive-up lane of your local
Mickey D's just can't match "Eating The Food Here Is Comparable To Having
Oral-Anal Sex With A Dead Goat" carefully printed in white Krylon
(quick-drying, and contrasting nicely with the dark red brick of most McD's).
Those with a more twisted sense of humor might try the oldie-but-goodie "Only
21 Killed!" under the word "McDonald's" on the building's side.
Or, if you don't feel like being funny, invent a conspiracy! The sudden
appearance of pentagrams (in red paint!) on the doors of several local Baptist
churches will create a furor you would not believe -- especially if you manage
to do it correctly: No 666, No Heavy Metal references, No blasphemies, just
pentagrams on the doors. If you do the "666" and Metal references, they'll
write it off to a bunch of Metal-crazed kids and have a sermon the next Sunday
about the evils of popular music. But Satanic symbols carefully copied from
the Necronomicon (which is available in the Occult section of any good
paperback bookstore), will make many preachers go absolutely bugfuck. Other
interesting options include "Lesbians against Porn" on porno bookshops *and*
the windows of newsstands that carry Playboy, Penthouse, et. al. . . . hispanic
slogans ("La Raza", etc.) on walls in lily-white areas of town . . . defacing a
school with slogans of their cross-town rivals . . . then sit back and watch
the fur fly! Keep it believable and you'll have much more success.
If you like, pick a name at random out of the phone book and paint "[Joe
Random] Fucks Goats" in a few prominent places near his home. He'll spend a
lot of time wondering who hates him. The same result would stem from a
carefully-painted black "X" on his door. Nobody else's . . . just his. Go
around to the side of his house and Krylon over the readouts on the electric,
gas, and water meters -- Public Service will come down on him with both
hob-nailed boots. Find his bedroom window and black out all the panes -- when
the alarm goes off and his room is still dark, he'll go back to sleep and be
late for work!
A few more ideas: the overnight appearance of "Off The Pigs" on walls all over
town (enlist your friends!) will make your local constabulary a bit more itchy
to beat someone's head in, so don't get caught painting that one! Drive slowly
down the street with your friend hanging out the window, painting lines on the
cars as you pass by. Or find a dark neighborhood and black out a few license
plates.
In all, there are no limits to the fun you can have with a can of spray paint.
Go out there and Psssssss somebody off! (ahrg)
/\/oo\/\ /\/oo\/\ /\/oo\/\ /\/oo\/\ /\/oo\/\ /\/oo\/\ /\/oo\/\ /\/oo\/\
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