TRAVELS INTO SEVERAL REMOTE NATIONS OF THE WORLD
BY LEMUEL GULLIVER, FIRST A SURGEON,
THEN A CAPTAIN OF SEVERAL SHIPS.
LONDON: PRINTED FOR BENJ. MOTTE,
AT THE MIDDLE TEMPLE-GATE IN FLEET-STREET.
M,DCC,XXVI.
A LETTER from Capt. Gulliver, to his Cousin Sympson
I HOPE you will be ready to own publickly, whenever you shall be called
to it, that by your great and frequent Urgency you prevailed on me to
publish a very loose and uncorrect Account of my Travels; with Direction
to hire some young Gentlemen of either University to put them in Order,
and correct the Style, as my Cousin Dampier did by my Advice, in his
Book calledA Voyage round the World. But I do not remember I gave you
Power to consent that any thing should be omitted, and much less that any
thing should be inserted: therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounce
every thing of that Kind; particularly a Paragraph about her Majesty the
late Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious Memory; although I did
reverence and esteem her more than any of human Species. But you, or
your Interpolator, ought to have considered, that as it was not my
Inclination, so was it not decent to praise any Animal of our Composition
before my Master Houyhnhnm: And besides the Fact was altogether false;
for to my Knowledge, being in England during some Part of her Majesty's
Reign, she did govern by a chief Minister; nay, even by two successively;
the first whereof was the Lord of Godolphin, and the second the Lord of
Oxford; so that you have made me say the thing that was not. Likewise, in
the Account of the Academy of Projectors, and several Passages of my
Discourse to my Master Houyhnhnm, you have either omitted some
material Circumstances, or minced or changed them in such a Manner, that
I do hardly know mine own Work. When I formerly hinted to you
something of this in a Letter, you were pleased to answer that you were
afraid of giving Offense; that People in Power were very watchful over the
Press, and apt not only to interpret, but to punish every thing which looked
like an Innuendo (as I think you called it.) But pray, how could that which
I spoke so many Years ago, and at about five Thousand leagues distance, in
another Reign, be applied to any of the Yahoos who now are said to govern
the Herd; especially at a time when I little thought on or feared the
Unhappiness of living under them. Have not I the most reason to complain,
when I see these very Yahoos carried by Houyhnhnms in a Vehicle, as if
these were Brutes, and those the rational Creatures? And indeed, to avoid
so monstrous and detestable a Sight was one principal Motive of my
Retirement hither.
Thus much I thought proper to tell you in Relation to yourself, and to the
Trust I reposed in you.
I do in the next Place complain of my own great Want of Judgement, in
being prevailed upon by the Intreaties and false Reasonings of you and
some others, very much against mine own Opinion, to suffer my Travels to
be published. Pray bring to your Mind how often I desired you to consider,
when you insisted on the Motive of publick good; that the Yahoos were a
species of Animals utterly incapable of Amendment by Precepts or
Examples: And so it hath proved; for instead of seeing a full Stop put to all
Abuses and Corruptions, at least in this little Island, as I had Reason to
expect: Behold, after above six Months Warning, I cannot learn that my
Book hath produced one single Effect according to mine Intentions: I
desired you would let me know by a Letter, when Party and Faction were
extinguished; Judges learned and upright; Pleaders honest and modest, with
some Tincture of common Sense; and Smithfield blazing with Pyramids of
Law-Books; the young Nobility's Education entirely changed; the
Physicians banished; the female Yahoos abounding in Virtue, Honour,
Truth and good Sense; Courts and Levees of great Ministers thoroughly
weeded and swept; Wit, Merit and Learning rewarded; all Disgracers of
the Press in Prose and Verse condemned to eat nothing but their own
Cotten, and quench their Thirst with their own Ink. These, and a Thousand
other Reformations, I firmly counted upon by your Encouragement; as
indeed they were plainly deducible from the Precepts delivered in my
Book. And, it must be owned that seven Months were a sufficient Time to
correct every Vice and Folly to which Yahoos are subject, if their Natures
had been capable of the least Disposition to Virtue or Wisdom: Yet so far
have you been from answering mine Expectation in any of your Letters;
that on the contrary you are loading our Carrier every Week with Libels,
and Keys, and Reflections, and Memoirs, and Second Parts; wherein I see
myself accused of reflecting upon great States-Folk, of degrading human
Nature (for so they have still the Confidence to stile it), and of abusing the
Female Sex. I find likewise that the Writers of those Bundles are not
agreed among themselves; for some of them will not allow me to be
Author of my own Travels; and others make me Author of Books to which
I am wholly a Stranger.
I find likewise that your Printer hath been so careless as to confound the
Times, and mistake the Dates of my several Voyages and Returns; neither
assigning the true Year, or the true Month, or Day of the Month: And I
hear the original Manuscript is all destroyed, since the Publication of my
Book. Neither have I any Copy left; however, I have sent you some
Corrections, which you may insert, if ever there should be a second
Edition: And yet I cannot stand to them, but shall leave that Matter to my
judicious and candid Readers, to adjust it as they please.
I hear some of our Sea-Yahoos find Fault with my Sea-Language, as not
proper in many Parts, nor now in use. I cannot help it. In my first
Voyages, while I was young, I was instructed by the oldest Mariners, and
learned to speak as they did. But I have since found that the Sea-Yahoos are
apt, like the Land ones, to become new fangled in their Words, which the
latter change every Year, insomuch as I remember upon each Return to
mine own Country their old Dialect was so altered that I could hardly
understand the new. And I observe, when any Yahoo comes from London
out of Curiosity visit me at mine own House, we neither of us are able to
deliver our Conceptions in a Manner intelligible to the other.
If the Censure of Yahoos could any Way affect me, I should have great
Reason to complain that some of them are so bold as to think my Book of
Travels a mere Fiction out of mine own brain; and have gone so far as to
drop Hints, that the Houyhnhnms and Yahoos have no more Existence than
the Inhabitants of Utopia.
Indeed I must confess, that as to the People of Lilliput, Brobdingrag (for so
the Word should have been spelt, and not erroneously Brobdingnag), and
Laputa; I have never yet heard of any Yahoo so presumptuous as to dispute
their being, or the Facts I have related concerning them; because the Truth
immediately strikes every Reader with Conviction. And is there less
Probability in my Account of the Houyhnhnms or Yahoos, when it is
manifest as to the latter, there are so many Thousands even in this City,
who only differ from their Brother Brutes in Houyhnhnmland, because
they use a Sort of a Jabber, and do not go naked? I wrote for their
Amendment, and not their Approbation. The united Praise of the whole
Race would be of less Consequence to me than the neighing of those two
degenerate Houyhnhnms I keep in my stable; because from these,
degenerate as they are, I still improve in some Virtues, without any
Mixture of Vice.
Do these miserable Animals presume to think that I am so far degenerated
as to defend my veracity? Yahoo as I am, it is well known through all
Houyhnhnmland, that by the Instructions and Example of my illustrious
Master I was able in the Compass of two Years (although I confess with the
utmost Difficulty) to remove that infernal Habit of Lying, Shuffling,
Deceiving, and Equivocating, so deeply rooted in the very Souls of all my
Species, especially the Europeans.
I have other Complaints to make upon this vexatious Occasion; but I
forbear troubling myself or you any further. I must freely confess, that
since my last Return, some Corruptions of my Yahoo Nature have revived
in me by conversing with a few of your Species, and particularly those of
mine own Family, by an unavoidable Necessity; else I should never have
attempted so absurd a Project as that of reforming the Yahoo Race in this
Kingdom; but I have now done with all visionary Schemes for ever.
April 2, 1727.
THE PUBLISHER TO THE READER
THE AUTHOR of these Travels, Mr. Lemuel Gulliver, is my antient and
intimate Friend; there is likewise some Relation between us by the Mother's
Side. About three Years ago Mr. Gulliver, growing weary of the
Concourse of curious People coming to him at his House in Redriff, made a
small purchase of land, with a convenient house, near Newark in
Nottinghamshire, his native Country; where he now lives retired, yet in
good Esteem among his Neighbors.
Although Mr. Gulliver was born in Nottinghamshire, where his Father
dwelt, yet I have heard him say his Family came from Oxfordshire; to
confirm which, I have observed in the Church-Yard at Banbury, in that
County, several Tombs and Monuments of the Gullivers.
Before he quitted Redriff, he left the Custody of the following Papers in
my Hands, with the Liberty to dispose of them as I should think fit. I have
carefully perused them three Times. The style is very plain and simple; and
the only Fault I find is, that the Author, after the Manner of Travelers, is a
little too circumstantial. There is an Air of Truth apparent through the
whole; and indeed the Author was so distinguished for his Veracity, that it
became a Sort of Proverb among his Neighbors at Redriff, when any one
affirmed a Thing, to say it was as true as if Mr. Gulliver had spoke it.
By the Advice of several worthy Persons, to whom, with the Author's
Permission, I communicated these Papers, I now venture to send them into
the World, hoping they may be at least, for some time, a better
Entertainment to our young Noblemen than the common Scribbles of
Politicks and Party.
This Volume would have been at least twice as large, if I had not made
bold to strike out innumerable Passages relating to the Winds and Tides, as
well as to the Variations and Bearings in the several Voyages; together with
the minute Descriptions of the Management of the Ship in Storms, in the
Style of Sailors. Likewise the Account of the Longitudes and Latitudes;
wherein I have Reason to apprehend that Mr. Gulliver may be a little
dissatisfied. But I was resolved to fit the Work as much as possible to the
general Capacity of Readers. However, if my own Ignorance in Sea-Affairs
shall have led me to commit some Mistakes, I alone am answerable for
them. And if any Traveller hath a Curiosity to see the whole Work at
large, as it came from the Hand of the Author, I shall be ready to gratify
him.
As for any further Particulars relating to the Author, the Reader will
receive Satisfaction from the first Pages of the Book.
Richard Sympson.
PART I: A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT
[Plate 1: Lilliput]
CHAPTER I.
The Author gives some Account of himself and Family: His first
Inducements to travel. He is shipwreck'd, and swims for his Life: Gets
safe on shoar in the Country of Lilliput: Is made a Prisoner, and carry'd
up the Country.
MY FATHER had a small Estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the Third of
five Sons. He sent me to Emanuel-College in Cambridge, at Fourteen Years
old, where I resided three Years, and applyed my self close to my Studies:
But the Charge of maintaining me (although I had a very scanty
Allowance) being too great for a narrow Fortune; I was bound Apprentice
to Mr. James Bates, an eminent Surgeon in London, with whom I continued
four Years; and my Father now and then sending me small Sums of Money,
I laid them out in learning Navigation, and other parts of the
Mathematicks, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always believed it
would be some time or other my Fortune to do. When I left Mr. Bates, I
went down to my Father; where, by the Assistance of him and my Uncle
John, and some other Relations, I got Forty Pounds, and a Promise of
Thirty Pounds a Year to maintain me at Leyden: There I studied Physick
two Years and seven Months, knowing it would be useful in long Voyages.
Soon after my Return from Leyden, I was recommended, by my good
Master Mr. Bates, to be Surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannell
Commander; with whom I continued three Years and a half, making a
Voyage or two into the Levant, and some other Parts. When I came back, I
resolved to settle in London, to which Mr. Bates, my Master, encouraged
me, and by him I was recommended to several Patients. I took Part of a
small House in the Old Jury; and being advised to alter my Condition, I
married Mrs. Mary Burton, second Daughter to Mr. Edmund Burton,
Hosier, in Newgate-street, with whom I received four Hundred Pounds for
a Portion.
But, my good Master Bates dying in two Years after, and I having few
Friends, my Business began to fail; for my Conscience would not suffer me
to imitate the bad Practice of too many among my Brethren. Having
therefore consulted with my Wife, and some of my Acquaintance, I
determined to go again to Sea. I was Surgeon successively in two Ships, and
made several Voyages, for six Years, to the East and West-Indies, by which
I got some Addition to my Fortune. My Hours of Leisure I spent in reading
the best Authors, antient and modern, being always provided with a good
Number of Books ; and when I was ashore, in observing the Manners and
Dispositions of the People, well as learning their Language, wherein I had
a great Facility by the Strength of my Memory.
The last of these Voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of the
Sea, and intended to stay at home with my Wife and Family. I removed
from the Old Jury to Fetter-Lane, and from thence to Wapping hoping to
get business among the sailors; but it would not turn to account. After three
Years Expectation that things would mend, I accepted an advantageous
Offer from Captain William Prichard, Master of the Antelope, who was
making a Voyage to the South-Sea. We set sail from Bristol May 4th, 1699
and our Voyage at first was very prosperous.
It would not be proper, for some Reasons, to trouble the Reader with the
Particulars of our Adventures in those Seas: Let it suffice to inform him,
that in our Passage from thence to the East-Indies, we were driven by a
violent Storm to the North-west of Van Diemen's Land. By an
Observation, we found ourselves in the Latitude of 30 Degrees 2 Minutes
South. Twelve of our Crew were dead by immoderate Labour and ill Food,
the rest were in a very weak Condition. On the fifth of November, which
was the beginning of Summer in those Parts, the Weather being very hazy,
the Seamen spied a Rock, within half a Cable's length of the Ship; but the
Wind was so strong, that we were driven directly upon it, and immediately
split. Six of the Crew, of whom I was one, having let down the Boat into
the Sea, made a Shift to get clear of the Ship, and the Rock. We rowed by
my Computation about three Leagues, till we were able to work no longer,
being already spent with Labour while we were in the Ship. We therefore
trusted ourselves to the Mercy of the Waves, and in about half an Hour the
Boat was overset by a sudden Flurry from the North. What became of my
Companions in the Boat, as well as of those who escaped on the Rock, or
were left in the Vessel, I cannot tell; but conclude they were all lost. For
my own Part, I swam as Fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by
Wind and Tide. I often let my Legs drop, and could feel no Bottom: but
when I was almost gone, and able to struggle no longer, I found myself
within my Depth; and by this Time the Storm was much abated. The
Declivity was so small, that I walked near a Mile before I got to the Shore,
which I conjectur'd was about eight a-clock in the Evening. I then advanced
forward near half a Mile, but could not discover any sign of Houses or
Inhabitants; at least I was in so weak a Condition, that I did not observe
them. I was extremely tired, and with that, and the Heat of the Weather,
and about half a Pint of Brandy that I drank as I left the Ship, I found
myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the Grass, which was very
short and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I remember to have done in
my Life, and, as I reckoned, above Nine Hours; for when I awakened, it
was just Day-light. I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: For as I
happen'd to lye on my Back, I found my Arms and Legs were strongly
fastened on each Side to the Ground; and my Hair, which was long and
thick, tied down in the same Manner. I likewise felt several slender
Ligatures across my Body, from my Armpits to my Thighs. I could only
look upwards; the Sun began to grow hot, and the Light offended my Eyes.
I heard a confused Noise about me, but in the Posture I lay, could see
nothing except the Sky. In a little time I felt something alive moving on my
left Leg, which advancing gently forward over my Breast, came almost up
to my Chin; when bending my Eyes downwards as much as I could, I
perceived it to be a human Creature not six Inches high, with a Bow and
Arrow in his hands, and a Quiver at his Back. In the meantime, I felt at
least Forty more of the same Kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I
was in the utmost Astonishment, and roared so loud, that they all ran back
in a Fright; and some of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt with the
Falls they got by leaping from my Sides upon the Ground. However, they
soon returned, and one of them, who ventured so far as to get a full Sight
of my Face, lifting up his Hands and Eyes by way of Admiration, cried out
in a shrill but distinct Voice, Hekinah Degul: the others repeated the same
Words several times, but I then knew not what they meant. I lay all this
while, as the Reader may believe, in great Uneasiness; At length, struggling
to get loose, I had the Fortune to break the Strings, and wrench out the
Pegs that fastened my left Arm to the Ground; for, by lifting it up to my
Face, I discovered the Methods they had taken to bind me, and at the same
time, with a violent Pull, which gave me excessive Pain, I a little loosened
the Strings that tied down my Hair on the left Side, so that I was just able to
turn my Head about two Inches. But the creatures ran off a second time,
before I could seize them; Whereupon there was a great Shout in a very
shrill Accent, and after it ceased, I heard one of them cry aloud, Tolgo
Phonac; when in an Instant I felt above a Hundred Arrows discharged on
my left Hand, which pricked me like so many Needles; and besides they
shot another Flight into the Air, as we do Bombs in Europe, whereof
many, I suppose, fell on my Body (though I felt them not) and some on my
Face, which I immediately covered with my left Hand. When this Shower
of Arrows was over, I fell a groaning with Grief and Pain, and then
striving again to get loose, they discharged another Volly larger than the
first, and some of them attempted with Spears to stick me in the Sides; but,
by good Luck, I had on me a Buff Jerkin, which they could not pierce. I
thought it the most prudent Method to lie still, and my Design was to
continue so till Night, when, my left Hand being already loose, I could
easily free myself: And as for the Inhabitants, I had Reason to believe I
might be a Match for the greatest Armies they could bring against me, if
they were all of the same Size with him that I saw. But Fortune disposed
otherwise of me. When the People observed I was quiet, they discharged no
more Arrows: But, by the Noise increasing, I knew their Numbers were
greater; and about four Yards from me, over against my right Ear, I heard
a Knocking for above an Hour, like People at work; when turning my Head
that Way, as well as the Pegs and Strings would permit me, I saw a Stage
erected about a Foot and a half from the Ground, capable of holding four
of the Inhabitants, with two or three Ladders to mount it: From whence
one of them, who seemed to be a Person of Quality, made me a long
Speech, whereof I understood not one Syllable. But I should have
mentioned, that before the principal Person began his Oration, he cryed out
three times, Langro Dehul san: (these Words and the former were
afterwards repeated and explained to me). Whereupon immediately about
fifty of the Inhabitants came, and cut the Strings that fastened the left side
of my Head, which gave me the Liberty of turning it to the right, and of
observing the Person and Gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to
be of a middle age, and taller than any of the other three who attended him,
whereof one was a Page that held up his Train, and seemed to be somewhat
longer than my middle Finger; the other two stood one on each side to
support him. He acted every part of an Orator, and I could observe many
periods of Threatnings, and others of Promises, Pity and Kindness. I
answered in a few Words, but in the most submissive Manner, lifting up
my left Hand and both my eyes to the Sun, as calling him for a Witness;
and being almost famished with Hunger, having not eaten a Morsel for
some Hours before I left the Ship, I found the Demands of Nature so strong
upon me, that I could not forbear showing my Impatience (perhaps against
the strict Rules of Decency) by putting my Finger frequently on my Mouth,
to signify that I wanted Food. The Hurgo (for so they call a great Lord, as
I afterwards learned) understood me very well: He descended from the
Stage, and commanded that several Ladders should be applied to my Sides,
on which above a Hundred of the Inhabitants mounted, and walked towards
my Mouth, laden with Baskets full of Meat, which had been provided, and
sent thither by the King's Orders, upon the first Intelligence he received of
me. I observed there was the Flesh of several Animals, but could not
distinguish them by the Taste. There were Shoulders, Legs, and Loins,
shaped like those of Mutton, and very well dressed, but smaller than the
Wings of a Lark. I eat them by two or three at a Mouthful, and took three
Loaves at a time, about the bigness of Musket Bullets. They supplied me as
fast as they could, shewing a thousand Marks of Wonder and Astonishment
at my Bulk and Appetite. I then made another Sign that I wanted Drink.
They found by my eating that a small Quantity would not suffice me, and
being a most ingenious People, they slung up with great Dexterity one of
their largest Hogsheads, then rolled it toward my Hand, and beat out the
Top; I drank it off at a Draught, which I might well do, for it hardly held
half a Pint, and tasted like a small Wine of Burgundy, but much more
delicious. They brought me a second Hogshead, which I drank in the same
Manner, and made Signs for more, but they had none to give me. When I
had performed these Wonders, they shouted for Joy, and danced upon my
Breast, repeating several times as they did at first, Hekinah Degul. They
made me a Sign that I should throw down the two Hogsheads, but first
warning the People below to stand out of the Way, crying aloud, Borach
Mivola, and when they saw the Vessels in the Air, there was a universal
Shout of Hekinah Degul. I confess I was often tempted, while they were
passing backwards and forwards on my Body, to seize Forty or Fifty of the
first that came in my Reach, and dash them against the Ground. But the
Remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worst
they could do; and the Promise of Honour I made them, for so I
interpreted my submissive Behaviour, soon drove out these Imaginations.
Besides, I now considered myself as bound by the Laws of Hospitality to a
People who had treated me with so much Expense and Magnificence.
However, in my Thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the Intrepidity
of these diminutive Mortals, who dare venture to mount and walk upon my
Body, while one of my Hands was at Liberty, without trembling at the very
Sight of so prodigious a Creature as I must appear to them. After some
time, when they observed that I made no more Demands for Meat, there
appeared before me a Person of high Rank from his Imperial Majesty. His
Excellency having mounted on the small of my right Leg, advanced
forwards up to my Face, with about a Dozen of his Retinue; And producing
his Credentials under the Signet Royal, which he applied close to my Eyes,
spoke about ten Minutes, without any Signs of Anger, but with a kind of
determinate Resolution; often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards
found, was towards the Capital City, about half a Mile distant, whither it
was agreed by his Majesty in Council that I must be conveyed. I answered
in few Words, but to no Purpose, and made a Sign with my Hand that was
loose, putting it to the other (but over his Excellency's Head, for fear of
hurting him or his Train) and then to my own Head and Body, to signify
that I desired my Liberty. It appeared that he understood me well enough,
for he shook his Head by way of Disapprobation , and held his Hand in a
Posture to show that I must be carried as a Prisoner. However, he made
other Signs to let me understand that I should have Meat and Drink enough,
and very good Treatment. Whereupon I once more thought of attempting
to break my Bonds, but again, when I felt the Smart of their Arrows upon
my Face and Hands, which were all in Blisters, and many of the Darts still
sticking in them, and observing likewise that the Number of my Enemies
encreased, I gave Tokens to let them know that they might do with me what
they pleased. Upon this the Hurgo and his Train withdrew with much
Civility and chearful Countenances. Soon after I heard a general Shout,
with frequent repetitions of the words, Peplom Selan, and I felt great
Numbers of the People on my Left Side relaxing the Cords to such a
Degree, that I was able to turn upon my Right, and to ease myself with
making Water; which I very plentifully did, to the great Astonishment of
the People, who conjecturing by my Motions what I was going to do,
immediately opened to the right and left on that Side, to avoid the Torrent
which fell with such Noise and Violence from me. But before this, they had
daubed my Face and both my Hands with a sort of Ointment very pleasant
to the Smell, which in a few Minutes removed all the Smart of their
Arrows. These Circumstances, added to the Refreshment I had received by
their Victuals and Drink, which were very nourishing , disposed me to
sleep. I slept about eight Hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no
Wonder, for the Physicians, by the Emperor's Order, had mingled a
sleeping Potion in the Hogsheads of Wine.
It seems that upon the first Moment I was discovered sleeping on the
Ground after my Landing, the Emperor had early Notice of it by an
Express, and determined in Council that I should be tyed in the Manner I
have related (which was done in the Night while I slept), that plenty of
Meat and Drink should be sent me, and a Machine prepared to carry me to
the Capital City.
This Resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am
confident would not be imitated by any Prince in Europe on the like
Occasion; however, in my Opinion, it was extremely Prudent, as well as
Generous. For supposing these People had endeavored to kill me with their
Spears and Arrows while I was asleep, I should certainly have awakened
with the first Sense of Smart, which might so far have roused my Rage and
Strength, as to have enabled me to break the Strings wherewith I was tyed;
after which, as they were not able to make Resistance, so they could expect
no Mercy.
These People are most excellent Mathematicians, and arrived to great
perfection in Mechanicks by the Countenance and Encouragement of the
Emperor, who is a renowned Patron of Learning. This Prince has several
Machines fixed on Wheels for the Carriage of Trees and other great
Weights. He often builds his largest Men of War, whereof some are Nine
Foot long, in the Woods where the Timber grows, and has them carried on
these Engines three or four Hundred Yards to the sea. Five Hundred
Carpenters and Engineers were immediately set at work to prepare the
greatest Engine they had. It was a Frame of Wood raised three Inches from
the Ground, about seven Foot long and four wide, moving upon twenty-
two Wheels. The Shout I heard was upon the Arrival of this Engine, which
it seems set out in four Hours after my Landing. It was brought parallel to
me as I lay. But the principal Difficulty was to raise and place me in this
Vehicle. Eighty Poles, each of one Foot high, were erected for this
Purpose, and very strong Cords of the bigness of Pack thread were
fastened by Hooks to many Bandages, which the Workmen had girt round
my Neck, my Hands, my Body, and my Legs. Nine Hundred of the
strongest Men were employed to draw up these Cords by many Pulleys
fastned on the Poles, and thus, in less than three Hours, I was raised and
slung into the Engine, and there tyed fast. All this I was told, for while the
whole Operation was performing, I lay in a profound Sleep, by the Force
of that soporiferous Medicine infused into my Liquor. Fifteen Hundred of
the Emperor's largest Horses, each about four Inches and a half high, were
employed to draw me towards the Metropolis, which, as I said, was half a
Mile distant.
About four Hours after we began our Journey, I awaked by a very
ridiculous Accident; for the Carriage being stopt a while to adjust
something that was out of Order, two or three of the young Natives had the
Curiosity to see how I looked when I was asleep; they climbed up into the
Engine, and advancing very softly to my Face, one of them, an Officer in
the Guards, put the sharp End of his Half-Pike a good way up into my left
Nostril, which tickled my Nose like a Straw, and made me sneeze violently:
Whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was three Weeks before I
knew the Cause of my awaking so suddenly. We made a long March the
remaining Part of that Day, and rested at Night with Five Hundred Guards
on each Side of me, half with Torches, and half with Bows and Arrows,
ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next Morning at Sunrise we
continued our March, and arrived within two Hundred Yards of the City-
Gates about Noon. The Emperor, and all his Court, came out to meet us;
but his great Officers would by no means suffer his Majesty to endanger
his Person by mounting on my Body.
At the Place where the Carriage stopt, there stood an antient Temple,
esteemed to be the largest in the whole Kingdom, which having been
polluted some Years before by an unnatural Murder, was, according to the
Zeal of those People, looked on as prophane, and therefore had been
applied to common Use, and all the Ornaments and Furniture carried away.
In this Edifice it was determined I should lodge. The great Gate fronting to
the North was about four feet high, and almost two feet wide, through
which I could easily creep. On each Side of the Gate was a small Window
not above six Inches from the Ground: Into that on the Left Side, the
King's Smiths conveyed fourscore and eleven Chains, like those that hang
to a Lady's Watch in Europe, and almost as large, which were locked to
my Left Leg with six and thirty Padlocks. Over against this Temple, on the
other Side of the great highway, at twenty Foot Distance, there was a
Turret at least Five Foot high. Here the Emperor ascended with many
principal Lords of his Court, to have an opportunity of viewing me, as I
was told, for I could not see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred
thousand Inhabitants came out of the Town upon the same Errand; and in
spite of my Guards, I believe there could not be fewer than ten thousand, at
several Times, who mounted upon my Body by the Help of Ladders. But a
Proclamation was soon issued to forbid it upon Pain of Death. When the
Workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose, they cut all the
Strings that bound me; whereupon I rose up with as melancholy a
Disposition as ever I had in my Life. But the Noise and Astonishment of
the People at seeing me rise and walk, are not to be expressed. The Chains
that held my left Leg were about two Yards long, and gave me not only the
Liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a Semicircle; but, being
fixed within four Inches of the Gate, allowed me to creep in, and lie at my
full Length in the Temple.
CHAPTER II.
The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the Nobility, comes to see
the Author in his Confinement. The Emperor's Person and Habit describ'd.
Learned Men appointed to teach the Author their Language. He gains
Favour by his mild Disposition. His Pockets Are searched, and his Sword
and Pistols taken from him.
WHEN I found myself on my Feet, I looked about me, and must confess I
never beheld a more entertaining Prospect. The Country round appeared
like a continued Garden, and the inclosed Fields, which were generally
Forty Foot square, resembled so many Beds of Flowers. These Fields were
intermingled with Woods of half a Stang, and the tallest Trees, as I could
judge, appeared to be seven Foot high. I viewed the Town on my left Hand,
which looked like the painted Scene of a City in a Theatre.
I had been for some Hours extremely pressed by the Necessities of Nature;
which was no Wonder, it being almost two Days since I had last
disburthened myself. I was under great Difficulties between Urgency and
Shame. The best Expedient I could think on, was to creep into my House,
which I accordingly did; and shutting the Gate after me, I went as far as the
Length of my Chain would suffer, and discharged my Body of that uneasy
Load. But this was the only Time I was ever guilty of so uncleanly an
Action; for which I cannot but hope the candid Reader will give some
Allowance, after he has maturely and impartially considered my Case, and
the Distress I was in. From this Time my constant Practice was, as soon as
I rose, to perform that Business in open Air, at the full Extent of my
Chain, and due Care was taken every Morning before Company came, that
the offensive Matter should be carried off in Wheel-barrows, by two
Servants appointed for that Purpose. I would not have dwelt so long upon a
Circumstance, that perhaps at first sight may appear not very momentous,
if I had not thought it necessary to justify my Character in point of
Cleanliness to the world; which I am told some of my Maligners have been
pleased, upon this and other Occasions, to call in question.
When this Adventure was at an end, I came back out of my House, having
occasion for fresh Air. The Emperor was already descended from the
Tower, and advancing on Horse-back towards me, which had like to have
cost him dear; for the Beast, though very well trained, yet wholly unused
to such a Sight, which appeared as if a Mountain moved before him, he
reared up on his hinder Feet: But that Prince, who is an excellent Horse-
man, kept his Seat, till his Attendants ran in, and held the Bridle, while his
Majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted, he surveyed me round
with great Admiration, but kept without the length of my Chain. He
ordered his Cooks and Butlers, who were already prepared, to give me
Victuals and Drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of Vehicles upon
Wheels till I could reach them. I took these Vehicles, and soon emptied
them all; twenty of them were filled with Meat, and ten with Liquor; each
of the former afforded me two or three good Mouthfuls, and I emptied the
Liquor of ten Vessels, which was contained in earthen Vials, into one
Vehicle, drinking it off at a Draught; and so I did with the rest. The
Empress, and young Princes of the Blood, of both Sexes, attended by many
Ladies, sat at some distance in their Chairs; but upon the Accident that
happened to the Emperor's Horse, they alighted, and came near his Person,
which I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my
Nail, than any of his Court, which alone is enough to strike an Awe into the
Beholders. His Features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and
arched Nose, his Complexion olive, his Countenance erect, his Body and
Limbs well proportioned, all his motions graceful, and his Deportment
majestic. He was then past his Prime, being twenty-eight Years and three
Quarters old, of which he had reigned about seven, in great Felicity, and
generally victorious. For the better convenience of beholding him, I lay on
my Side, so that my Face was parallel to his, and he stood but three Yards
off: However, I have had him since many Times in my Hand, and therefore
cannot be deceived in the Description. His Dress was very plain and simple,
and the Fashion of it between the Asiatick and the European; but he had on
his Head a light Helmet of Gold, adorned with Jewels, and a Plume on the
Crest. He held his Sword drawn in his Hand, to defend himself, if I should
happen to break loose; it was almost three Inches long, the Hilt and
Scabbard were Gold, enriched with Diamonds. His Voice was shrill, but
very clear and articulate, and I could distinctly hear it when I stood up.
The Ladies and Courtiers were all most magnificently clad, so that the Spot
they stood upon seemed to resemble a Petticoat spread on the Ground,
embroidered with Figures of Gold and Silver. His Imperial Majesty spoke
often to me, and I returned Answers, but neither of us could understand a
Syllable. There were several of his Priests and Lawyers present (as I
conjectured by their Habits) who were commanded to address themselves to
me, and I spoke to them in as many Languages as I had the least smattering
of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and
Lingua Franca ; but all to no Purpose. After about two Hours the Court
retired, and I was left with a strong Guard, to prevent the Impertinence,
and probably the Malice of the Rabble, who were very impatient to croud
about me as near as they durst, and some of them had the impudence to
shoot their Arrows at me as I sate on the Ground by the Door of my
House, whereof one very narrowly missed my left Eye. But the Colonel
ordered six of the Ringleaders to be seized, and thought no Punishment so
proper as to deliver them bound into my Hands, which some of his Soldiers
accordingly did, pushing them forwards with the But-Ends of their Pikes
into my Reach; I took them all in my right Hand, put five of them into my
Coat-Pocket, and as to the sixth, I made a Countenance as if I would eat
him alive. The poor Man squalled terribly, and the Colonel and his
Officers were in much Pain, especially when they saw me take out my
Penknife: But I soon put them out of fear; for, looking mildly and
immediately cutting the Strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the
Ground, and away he ran; I treated the rest in the same manner, taking
them one by one out of my Pocket, and I observed both the Soldiers and
People were highly obliged at this Mark of my Clemency, which was
represented very much to my Advantage at Court.
Towards Night I with some Difficulty got into my House, where I lay on
the Ground, and continued to do so about a Fortnight; during which Time
the Emperor gave Orders to have a Bed prepared for me. Six hundred
Beds of the common Measure were brought in Carriages, and worked up in
my House; a hundred and fifty of their Beds sewn together made up the
Breadth and Length, and these were four double, which however kept me
but very indifferently from the Hardness of the Floor, that was of smooth
Stone. By the same Computation they provided me with Sheets, Blankets,
and Coverlets, tolerable enough for one who had been so long enured to
Hardships as I.
As the News of my Arrival spread through the Kingdom, it brought
prodigious Numbers of rich, idle, and curious People to see me; so that the
Villages were almost emptied, and great Neglect of Tillage and Household
Affairs must have ensued, if his Imperial Majesty had not provided, by
several Proclamations and Orders of State, against this Inconveniency. He
directed that those who had already beheld me should return Home, and not
presume to come within fifty Yards of my House without Licence from
Court; whereby the Secretarys of State got considerable Fees.
In the mean time, the Emperor held frequent Councils to debate what
Course should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a
particular Friend, a Person of great Quality, who was looked upon to be as
much in the Secret as any, that the Court was under many Difficulties
concerning me. They apprehended my breaking loose, that my Diet would
be very expensive, and might cause a Famine. Sometimes they determined
to starve me, or at least to shoot me in the Face and Hands with poisoned
Arrows, which would soon dispatch me: But again they considered, that the
Stench of so large a Carcass might produce a Plague in the Metropolis, and
probably spread through the whole Kingdom. In the midst of these
Consultations, several Officers of the army went to the Door of the great
Council Chamber; and two of them being admitted, gave an account of my
Behavior to the six Criminals above-mentioned, which made so favorable
an Impression in the Breast of his Majesty and the whole Board in my
behalf, that an Imperial Commission was issued out, obliging all the
Villages nine hundred Yards round the City, to deliver in every Morning
six Beeves, forty Sheep, and other Victuals for my Sustenance; together
with a proportionable Quantity of Bread, and Wine, and other Liquors: for
the due Payment of which, his Majesty gave assignments upon his
Treasury. For this Prince lives chiefly upon his own Demesnes, seldom,
except upon great Occasions, raising any Subsidies upon his Subjects, who
are bound to attend him in his Wars at their own Expense. An
Establishment was also made of six hundred Persons to be my Domesticks,
who had Board-Wages allowed for their Maintenance, and Tents built for
them very conveniently on each side of my Door. It was likewise ordered,
that three hundred Taylors should make me a Suit of Cloaths after the
Fashion of the Country: That six of his Majesty's greatest Scholars should
be employ'd to instruct me in their Language: And, lastly, that the
Emperor's Horses, and those of the Nobility, and Troops of Guards, should
be frequently exercised in my sight, to accustom themselves to me. All
these Orders were duly put in Execution, and in about three Weeks I made
a great progress in learning their Language; during which time, the
Emperor frequently honored me with his Visits, and was pleased to assist
my Masters in teaching me. We began already to converse together in some
sort; and the first Words I learnt were to express my Desire that he would
please give me my Liberty, which I every day repeated on my Knees. His
Answer, as I could apprehend it, was, that this must be a Work of Time,
not to be thought on without the Advice of Council, and that first I must
Lumos Kelmin pesso desmar lon Emposo; that is, swear a Peace with him
and his Kingdom. However, that I should be used with all Kindness; and he
advised me to acquire, by my Patience and discreet Behaviour, the good
Opinion of himself and his Subjects. He desired I would not take it ill, if he
gave Orders to certain proper Officers to search me; for probably I might
carry about me several Weapons, which must needs be dangerous things, if
they answered the Bulk of so prodigious a Person. I said, his Majesty
should be satisfied, for I was ready to strip myself, and turn out my
Pockets before him. This I delivered part in Words, and part in Signs. He
replied, that by the Laws of the Kingdom I must be searched by two of his
Officers; that he knew this could not be done without my Consent and
Assistance; that he had so good an Opinion of my Generosity and Justice, as
to trust their Persons in my Hands: That whatever they took from me
should be returned when I left the Country, or paid for at the Rate which I
would set upon them. I took up the two Officers in my Hands, put them
first into my Coat-Pockets, and then into every other Pocket about me,
except my two Fobs, and another secret Pocket I had no mind should be
searched, wherein I had some little Necessaries that were of no
consequence to any but myself. In one of my Fobs there was a silver
Watch, and in the other a small Quantity of Gold in a Purse. These
Gentlemen, having Pen Ink, and Paper about them, made an exact
Inventory of everything they saw; and when they had done, desired I would
set them down, that they might deliver it to the Emperor. This Inventory I
afterwards translated into English, and is word for word as follows.
IMPRIMIS, In the right coat Pocket of the Great Man Mountain (for
so I interpret the Words quinbus Flestrin) after the strictest
search, we found only one great Piece of coarse Cloath, large
enough to be a Foot-Cloth for your Majesty's chief Room of State.
In the left Pocket we saw a huge Silver Chest, with a Cover of the
same Metal, which we the Searchers were not able to lift. We
desired it should be opened, and one of us stepping into it, found
himself up to the mid Leg in a sort of Dust, some part whereof
flying up to our Faces, set us both sneezing for several times
together. In his right Waistcoat-Pocket we found a prodigious
Bundle of white thin Substances, folded one over another, about
the Bigness of three Men, tied with a strong cable, and marked
with black Figures; which we humbly conceive to be Writings, every
Letter almost half as large as the Palm of our Hands. In the left
there was a sort of Engine, from the back of which were extended
twenty long poles, resembling the palisades before your Majesty's
Court; wherewith we conjecture the Man Mountain combs his Head,
for we did not always trouble him with Questions, because we found
it a great Difficulty to make him understand us. In the large
Pocket on the right side of his middle Cover (so I translate the
Word Ranfu-Lo, by which they meant my Breeches) we saw a hollow
Pillar of Iron, about the length of a Man, fastened to a strong
piece of Timber, larger than the Pillar; and upon one side of the
Pillar were huge Pieces of Iron sticking out, cut into strange
Figures, which we know not what to make of. In the left Pocket,
another Engine of the same kind. In the smaller Pocket on the
right side, were several round flat Pieces of white and red Metal,
of different Bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be silver,
were so large and heavy, that my Comrade and I could hardly lift
them. In the left Pocket were two black Pillars irregularly
shaped: we could not, without Difficulty, reach the Top of them as
we stood at the Bottom of his Pocket. One of them was covered, and
seemed all of a Piece: but at the upper End of the other, there
appeared a white round Substance, about twice the bigness of our
heads. Within each of these was inclosed a prodigious Plate of
Steel; which, by our Orders, we obliged him to shew us, because we
apprehended they might be dangerous Engines. He took them out of
their Cases, and told us, that in his own Country his Practice was
to shave his Beard with one of these, and to cut his Meat with the
other. There were two Pockets which we could not enter: These he
called his Fobs; they were two large Slits cut into the top of his
middle Cover, but squeez'd close by the pressure of his Belly. Out
of the right Fob hung a great silver Chain, with a wonderful kind
of Engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw out whatever was
fastened to that Chain; which appeared to be a Globe, half Silver,
and half of some transparent Metal: for on the transparent side we
saw certain strange Figures circularly drawn, and thought we could
touch them, till we found our Fingers stopped by that lucid
Substance. He put this Engine to our Ears, which made an incessant
Noise like that of a Water-Mill. And we conjecture it is either
some unknown Animal, or the God that he worships: But we are more
inclined to the latter Opinion, because he assured us (if we
understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly)
that he seldom did anything without consulting it: he called it
his Oracle, and said it pointed out the Time for every Action of
his Life. From the left Fob he took out a Net almost large enough
for a Fisherman, but contrived to open and shut like a Purse, and
serve him for the same use: we found therein several massy Pieces
of yellow Metal, which, if they be real Gold, must be of immense
Value.
Having thus, in obedience to your Majesty's Commands, diligently
searched all his Pockets, we observed a Girdle about his Waist
made of the Hide of some prodigious Animal; from which, on the
left side, hung a Sword of the length of five Men; and on the
right, a Bag or Pouch divided into two Cells, each Cell capable of
holding three of your Majesty's Subjects. In one of these Cells
were several Globes or Balls of a most ponderous Metal, about the
bigness of our Heads, and requiring a strong Hand to lift them:
the other Cell contained a Heap of certain black Grains, but of no
great Bulk or Weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in the
Palms of our Hands.
This is an exact Inventory of what we found about the Body of the
Man-Mountain, who used us with great Civility, and due Respect to
your Majesty's Commission.
Signed and Sealed on the fourth Day of the eighty ninth Moon of
your Majesty's auspicious Reign.
Clefren Frelock, Marsi Frelock.
When this Inventory was read over to the Emperor, he directed me,
although in very gentle Terms, to deliver up the several Particulars. He
first called for my Scymiter, which I took out, Scabbard and all. In the
meantime he ordered three thousand of his choicest Troops (who then
attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their Bows and Arrows
just ready to discharge: but I did not observe it, for mine Eyes were wholly
fixed upon his Majesty. He then desired me to draw my Scymiter, which,
although it had got some Rust by the Sea-Water, was in most parts
exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the Troops gave a Shout
between Terror and Surprise; for the Sun shone clear, and the Reflection
dazzled their Eyes as I waved the Scymiter to and fro in my Hand. His
Majesty, who is a most magnanimous Prince, was less danted than I could
expect; he ordered me to return it into the Scabbard, and cast it on the
Ground as gently as I could, about six Foot from the end of my Chain. The
next thing he demanded was one of the hollow iron pillars, by which he
meant my Pocket-Pistols. I drew it out, and at his desire, as well as I could,
expressed to him the Use of it; and charging it only with Powder, which by
the closeness of my Pouch happened to escape wetting in the Sea (an
Inconvenience against which all prudent mariners take special Care to
provide) I first cautioned the Emperor not to be afraid, and then I let it off
in the Air. The Astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of
my Scymiter. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even
the Emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself in
some time. I delivered up both my Pistols in the same Manner as I had
done my Scymiter, and then my Pouch of Powder and Bullets; begging him
that the former might be kept from the Fire, for it would kindle with the
smallest Spark, and blow up his Imperial Palace into the Air. I likewise
delivered up my Watch, which the Emperor was very curious to see, and
commanded two of his tallest Yeomen of the Guards to bear it on a Pole
upon their shoulders, as Draymen in England do a Barrel of Ale. He was
amazed at the continual Noise it made, and the Motion of the Minute-Hand,
which he could easily discern; for their Sight is much more acute than
ours; and asked the Opinions of his learned Men about him, which were
various and remote, as the Reader may well imagine without my repeating;
although indeed I could not very perfectly understand them. I then gave up
my Silver and Copper money, my Purse with nine large Pieces of Gold,
and some smaller ones; my Knife and Razor, my Comb and Silver Snuff-
Box, my Handkerchief and Journal Book. My Scymiter, Pistols, and Pouch,
were conveyed in Carriages to his Majesty's Stores; but the rest of my
Goods were returned me.
I had, as I before observed, one private Pocket which escaped their Search,
wherein there was a pair of Spectacles (which I sometimes use for the
weakness of mine Eyes), a Pocket Perspective, and several other little
Conveniences; which, being of no consequence to the Emperor, I did not
think myself bound in Honour to discover, and I apprehended they might
be lost or spoiled if I ventured them out of my Possession.
CHAPTER III.
The Author diverts the Emperor and his Nobility of both Sexes in a very
uncommon Manner. The Diversions of the Court of Lilliput described. The
Author has his Liberty granted him upon certain Conditions.
MY GENTLENESS and good Behaviour had gained so far on the Emperor
and his Court, and indeed upon the Army and People in general, that I
began to conceive Hopes of getting my Liberty in a short time. I took all
possible Methods to cultivate this favorable Disposition. The Natives came
by degrees to be less apprehensive of any Danger from me. I would
sometimes lie down, and let five or six of them dance on my Hand. And
last the Boys and Girls would venture to come and play at Hide and Seek in
my Hair. I had now made good Progress in understanding and speaking
their Language. The Emperor had a mind one day to entertain me with
several of the Country Shows, wherein they exceeded all Nations I have
known, both for Dexterity and Magnificence. I was diverted with none so
much as that of the Rope-Dancers, performed upon a slender white Thread,
extended about two Foot and twelve Inches from the Ground. Upon which
I shall desire liberty, with the Reader's Patience, to enlarge a little.
This Diversion is only practiced by those Persons who are Candidates for
great Employments, and high Favour, at Court. They are trained in this
Art from their Youth, and are not always of noble Birth, or liberal
Education. When a great Office is vacant either by Death or disgrace
(which often happens) five or six of those Candidates petition the Emperor
to entertain his Majesty and the Court with a Dance on the Rope, and
whoever jumps the highest without falling, succeeds in the Office. Very
often the Chief Ministers themselves are commanded to show their Skill,
and to convince the Emperor that they have not lost their Faculty. Flimnap,
the Treasurer, is allowed to cut a Caper on the strait Rope, at least an Inch
higher than any other Lord in the whole Empire. I have seen him do the
Summerset several times together upon a Trencher fixed on the Rope,
which is no thicker than a common packthread in England. My friend
Reldresal, principal Secretary for private Affairs, is, in my Opinion, if I
am not partial, the second after the Treasurer; the rest of the great Officers
are much upon a par.
These Diversions are often attended with fatal Accidents, whereof great
Numbers are on Record. I my self have seen two or three Candidates break
a Limb. But the Danger is much greater when the Ministers themselves are
commanded to shew their Dexterity; for by contending to excel themselves
and their Fellows, they strain so far, that there is hardly one of them who
has not received a Fall, and some of them two or three. I was assured that a
Year or two before my Arrival, Flimnap would have infallibly broken his
Neck, if one of the King's Cushions, that accidentally lay on the Ground,
had not weakened the Force of his Fall.
There is likewise another Diversion, which is only shewn before the
Emperor and Empress, and first Minister, upon particular Occasions. The
Emperor lays on the Table three fine silken Threads of six Inches long.
One is Blue, the other Red, and the third Green. These Threads are
proposed as Prizes for those Persons whom the Emperor has a mind to
distinguish by a peculiar Mark of his Favor. The Ceremony is performed
in his Majesty's great Chamber of State, where the Candidates are to
undergo a Tryal of Dexterity very different from the former, and such as I
have not observed the least Resemblance of in any other Country of the old
or the new World. The Emperor holds a Stick in his Hands, both ends
parallel to the Horizon, while the Candidates, advancing one by one,
sometimes leap over the Stick, sometimes creep under it backwards and
forwards several times, according as the Stick is advanced or depressed.
Sometimes the Emperor holds one end of the Stick, and his first Minister
the other; sometimes the Minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever
performs his Part with most Agility, and holds out the longest in leaping
and creeping, is rewarded with the Blue-colored Silk; the Red is given to
the next, and the Green to the third, which they all wear girt twice round
about the middle; and you see few great Persons about this Court who are
not adorned with one of these Girdles.
The Horses of the Army, and those of the royal Stables, having been daily
led before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very Feet
without starting. The Riders would leap them over my Hand as I held it on
the Ground, and one of the Emperor's Huntsmen, upon a large Courser,
took my Foot, Shoe and all; which was indeed a prodigious Leap. I had the
good fortune to divert the Emperor one Day after a very extraordinary
manner. I desired he would order several Sticks of two Foot high, and the
thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me; whereupon his Majesty
commanded the Master of his Woods to give Directions accordingly; and
the next Morning six Wood-men arrived with as many Carriages, drawn by
eight Horses to each. I took nine of these Sticks, and fixing them firmly in
the Ground in a Quadrangular Figure, two Foot and a half Square, I took
four other Sticks, and tied them parallel at each Corner, about two feet
from the Ground; then I fastened my Handkerchief to the nine Sticks that
stood erect, and extended it on all Sides till it was as tight as the top of a
Drum; and the four parallel Sticks rising about five Inches higher than the
Handkerchief served as Ledges on each side. When I had finished my
Work, I desired the Emperor to let a Troop of his best Horse, twenty four
in number, come and exercise upon this Plain. His Majesty approved of the
Proposal, and I took them up one by one in my Hands, ready mounted and
armed, with the proper Officers to exercise them. As soon as they got into
order, they divided into two Parties, performed mock Skirmishes,
discharged blunt Arrows, drew their Swords, fled and pursued, attacked
and retired, and in short discovered the best Military Discipline I ever
beheld. The parallel Sticks secured them and their Horses from falling over
the Stage; and the Emperor was so much delighted, that he ordered this
Entertainment to be repeated several days, and once was pleased to be lifted
up and give the Word of Command; and, with great difficulty, persuaded
even the Empress herself to let me hold her in her close Chair within two
Yards of the Stage, from whence she was able to take a full View of the
whole Performance. It was my good fortune that no ill Accident happened
in these Entertainments, only once a fiery Horse that belonged to one of the
Captains pawing with his Hoof struck a Hole in my Handkerchief, and his
Foot slipping, he overthrew his Rider and himself; but I immediately
relieved them both, and covering the Hole with one Hand, I set down the
Troop with the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The Horse
that fell was strained in the left Shoulder, but the Rider got no hurt, and I
repaired my Handkerchief as well as I could: however I would not trust to
the Strength of it any more in such dangerous Enterprizes.
About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was entertaining
the Court with these kind of Feats, there arrived an express to inform his
Majesty that some of his Subjects riding near the Place where I was first
taken up, had seen a great black Substance lying on the Ground, very oddly
shaped, extending its Edges round as wide as his Majesty's Bedchamber,
and rising up in the middle as high as a Man; that it was no living Creature,
as they at first apprehended, for it lay on the Grass without Motion, and
some of them had walked round it several tunes: That by mounting upon
each other's Shoulders, they had got to the top, which was flat and even,
and stamping upon it they found it was hollow within; that they humbly
conceived it might be something belonging to the Man-Mountain, and if his
Majesty pleased, they would undertake to bring it with only five Horses. I
presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive this
Intelligence. It seems upon my first reaching the Shore after our
Shipwreck, I was in such confusion, that before I came to the Place where I
went to sleep, my Hat, which I had fastned with a String to my Head while
I was rowing, and had stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I
came to Land; the String, as I conjecture, breaking by some Accident
which I never observed, but thought my Hat had been lost at Sea. I
entreated his Imperial Majesty to give Orders it might be brought to me as
soon as possible, describing to him the Use and the Nature of it: And the
next Day the Waggoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition;
they had bored two Holes in the Brim, within an Inch and a half of the
Edge, and fastened two Hooks in the Holes; these Hooks were tyed by a
long Cord to the Harness, and thus my Hat was dragged along for above
half an English Mile: but the Ground in that Country being extremely
smooth and level, it receiv'd less Damage than I expected.
Two Days after this Adventure, the Emperor having ordered that part of
his Army which quarters in and about his Metropolis to be in a readiness,
took a fancy of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired I
would stand like a Colossus, with my Legs as far asunder as I conveniently
could. He then commanded his General (who was an old experienced
Leader, and a great Patron of mine) to draw up the Troops in close Order,
and march them under me, the Foot by Twenty-four in a Breast, and the
Horse by Sixteen, with Drums beating, Colours flying, and Pikes advanced.
This Body consisted of three thousand Foot, and a thousand Horse. His
Majesty gave Orders, upon pain of Death, that every Soldier in his March
should observe the strictest Decency with regard to my Person; which,
however, could not prevent some of the younger Officers from turning up
their Eyes as they passed under me. And, to confess the Truth, my
Breeches were at that time in so ill a Condition, that they afforded some
Opportunities for Laughter and Admiration.
I had sent so many Memorials and Petitions for my Liberty, that his
Majesty at length mentioned the Matter, first in the Cabinet, and then in a
full Council ; where it was opposed by none, except Skyresh Bolgolam,
who was pleased, without any Provocation, to be my mortal Enemy. But it
was carried against him by the whole Board, and confirmed by the
Emperor. That Minister was Galbet, or Admiral of the Realm, very much
in his Master's confidence, and a Person well versed in Affairs, but of a
morose and sour Complection. However, he was at length persuaded to
comply; but prevailed that the Articles and Conditions upon which I should
be set free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself.
These Articles were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in Person,
attended by two Under-Secretarys, and several Persons of Distinction.
After they were read, I was demanded to swear to the Performance of
them; first in the manner of my own Country, and afterwards in the
method prescribed by their Laws; which was to hold my right Foot in my
left Hand, to place the middle Finger of my right Hand on the Crown of
my Head, and my Thumb on the Tip of my right Ear. But because the
Reader may perhaps be curious to have some Idea of the Style and Manner
of Expression peculiar to that People, as well as to know the Articles upon
which I recovered my Liberty, I have made a Translation of the whole
Instrument word for word, as near as I was able, which I here offer to the
Publick.
GOLBASTO MOMAREN EVLAME GURDILO SHEFIN MULLY ULLY
GUE, most Mighty Emperor of Lilliput, Delight and Terror of the
Universe, whose Dominions extend five thousand Blustrugs (about twelve
miles in circumference) to the Extremitys of the Globe; Monarch of all
Monarchs, taller than the Sons of Men; whose Feet press down to the
Center, and whose Head strikes against the Sun: At whose Nod the Princes
of the Earth shake their Knees; pleasant as the Spring, comfortable as the
Summer, fruitful as Autumn, dreadful as Winter. His most sublime Majesty
proposeth to the Man-Mountain, lately arrived to our Celestial Dominions,
the following Articles, which by a solemn Oath he shall be obliged to
perform.
First, The Man-Mountain shall not depart from our Dominions, without
our License under our Great Seal.
2nd, He shall not presume to come into our Metropolis, without our
express Order; at which time the Inhabitants shall have two hours
warning to keep within their Doors.
3rd, The said Man-Mountain shall confine his Walks to our principal
High Roads, and not offer to walk or lie down in a Meadow or Field of
Corn.
4th, As he walks the said Roads, he shall take the utmost care not to
trample upon the Bodies of any of our loving Subjects, their Horses, or
Carriages, nor take any of our said Subjects into his Hands, without
their own Consent.
5th, If an Express requires extraordinary Dispatch, the Man-Mountain
shall be obliged to carry in his Pocket the Messenger and Horse a Six
Days Journey once in every Moon, and return the said Messenger back (if
so required) safe to our Imperial Presence.
6th, He shall be our Ally against our enemies in the Island of
Blefuscu, and do his utmost to destroy their Fleet, which is now
preparing to invade Us.
7th, That the said Man-Mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be
aiding and assisting to our Workmen, in helping to raise certain great
Stones, towards covering the Wall of the principal Park, and other of
our Royal Buildings.
8th, That the said Man-Mountain shall, in two Moons time, deliver in an
exact Survey of the Circumference of our Dominions by a Computation of
his own Paces round the Coast.
Lastly, That upon his solemn Oath to observe all the above Articles,
the said Man-Mountain shall have a daily Allowance of Meat and Drink
sufficient for the support of 1728 of our Subjects, with free Access to
our Royal Person, and other Marks of our Favour. Given at our Palace at
Belfaborac the twelfth Day of the Ninety-first Moon of our Reign.
I swore and subscribed to these Articles with great Chearfulness and
Content, although some of them were not so honorable as I could have
wished; which proceeded wholly from the Malice of Skyresh Bolgolam the
High Admiral: whereupon my Chains were immediately unlocked, and I
was at full liberty; the Emperor himself in Person did me the Honour to be
by at the whole Ceremony. I made my Acknowledgments by prostrating
myself at his Majesty's Feet: But he commanded me to rise; and after many
gracious Expressions, which, to avoid the Censure of Vanity, I shall not
repeat, he added, that he hoped I should prove a useful Servant, and well
deserve all the Favours he had already conferred upon me, or might do for
the future.
The Reader may please to observe, that in the last Article for the Recovery
of my Liberty the Emperor stipulates to allow me a Quantity of Meat and
Drink sufficient for the support of 1728 Lilliputians. Some time after,
asking a Friend at Court how they came to fix on that determinate Number;
he told me that his Majesty's Mathematicians, having taken the Height of
my body by the help of a Quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the
Proportion of Twelve to One, they concluded from the Similarity of their
Bodies, that mine must contain at least 1728 of theirs, and consequently
would require as much Food as was necessary to support that number of
Lilliputians. By which the Reader may conceive an Idea of the Ingenuity of
that People, as well as the prudent and exact Oeconomy of so great a
Prince.
CHAPTER IV.
Milendo, the Metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the
Emperor's Palace. A Conversation between the Author and a Principal
Secretary, concerning the Affairs of that Empire: The Author Offers to
serve the Emperor in his Wars.
The first Request I made after I had obtained my Liberty, was, that I might
have license to see Mildendo, the Metropolis, which the Emperor easily
granted me, but with a special Charge to do no hurt either to the
Inhabitants or their Houses. The People had notice by Proclamation of my
design to visit the Town. The Wall which encompassed it is two foot and a
half high, and at least eleven Inches broad, so that a Coach and Horses may
be driven very safely round it; and it is flanked with strong Towers at ten
foot distance. I stept over the great Western Gate, and passed very gently,
and sideling through the two principal Streets, only in my short Waistcoat,
for fear of damaging the Roofs and Eaves of the Houses with the Skirts of
my Coat. I walked with the utmost Circumspection, to avoid treading on
any Stragglers, that might remain in the Streets, although the Orders were
very strict, that all People should keep in their Houses at their own peril.
The Garret-windows and Tops of Houses were so crowded with Spectators,
that I thought in all my Travels I had not seen a more populous Place. The
City is an exact Square, each Side of the Wall being five hundred foot long.
The two great Streets, which run cross and divide it into four Quarters, are
five foot wide. The Lanes and Alleys, which I could not enter, but only
viewed them as I passed, are from twelve to eighteen Inches. The Town is
capable of holding five hundred thousand Souls. The Houses are from three
to five Stories. The Shops and Markets well provided.
The Emperor's Palace is in the Center of the City, where the two great
Streets meet. It is enclosed by a Wall of two foot high, and twenty foot
distant from the buildings. I had his Majesty's Permission to step over this
Wall; and the Space being so wide between that and the Palace, I could
easily view it on every side. The outward Court is a Square of forty foot,
and includes two other Courts: in the inmost are the Royal Apartments,
which I was very desirous to see, but found it extremely difficult; for the
great Gates, from one Square into another, were but eighteen Inches high
and seven Inches wide. Now the Buildings of the outer Court were at least
five foot high, and it was impossible for me to stride over them without
infinite Damage to the Pile, though the Walls were strongly built of hewn
Stone, and four Inches thick. At the same time the Emperor had a great
desire that I should see the Magnificence of his Palace; but this I was not
able to do till three Days after, which I spent in cutting down with my
Knife some of the largest Trees in the Royal Park, about an hundred Yards
distant from the City. Of these Trees I made two Stools, each about three
foot high, and strong enough to bear my Weight. The People having
received notice a second time, I went again through the City to the Palace,
with my two Stools in my Hands. When I came to the side of the outer
Court, I stood upon one Stool, and took the other in my Hand: This I lifted
over the Roof, and gently set it down on the Space between the first and
second Court, which was eight foot wide. I then stept over the Buildings
very conveniently from one Stool to the other, and drew up the first after
me with a hooked Stick. By this Contrivance I got into the inmost Court;
and lying down upon my Side, I applied my Face to the Windows of the
middle Stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered the most
splendid Apartments that can be imagined. There I saw the Empress and
the young Princes, in their several Lodgings, with their chief Attendants
about them. Her Imperial Majesty was pleased to smile very graciously
upon me, and gave me out of the Window her Hand to kiss.
But I shall not anticipate the Reader with farther Descriptions of this kind,
because I reserve them for a greater Work, which is now almost ready for
the Press, containing a general Description of this Empire, from its first
Erection, through a long Series of Princes, with a particular Account of
their Wars and Politicks, Laws, Learning, and Religion: their Plants and
Animals, their peculiar Manners and Customs, with other Matters very
curious and useful; my chief design at present being only to relate such
Events and Transactions as happened to the Publick, or to myself, during a
Residence of about nine Months in that Empire.
One Morning, about a Fortnight after I had obtained my Liberty,
Reldresal, Principal Secretary (as they style him) of private Affairs, came
to my House, attended only by one Servant. He ordered his Coach to wait at
a distance, and desired I would give him an Hour's Audience; which I
readily consented to, on account of his Quality, and Personal Merits, as
well as the many good Offices he had done me during my Sollicitations at
Court. I offered to lie down, that he might the more conveniently reach my
Ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during our
Conversation. He began with Compliments on my Liberty; said he might
pretend to some Merit in it: but, however, added, that if it had not been for
the present Situation of things at Court, perhaps I might not have obtained
it so soon. For, said he, as flourishing a Condition as we may appear to be
in to Foreigners, we labor under two mighty Evils; a violent Faction at
home, and the Danger of an Invasion by a most potent Enemy from
abroad. As to the first, you are to understand, that for above seventy
Moons past there have been two struggling Parties in this Empire, under
the Names of Tramecksan and Slamecksan, from the high and low Heels on
their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged indeed, that
the high Heels are most agreeable to our ancient Constitution: But however
this be, his Majesty has determined to make use of only low Heels in the
Administration of the Government, and all Offices in the Gift of the
Crown, as you cannot but observe; and particularly, that his Majesty's
Imperial Heels are lower at least by a Drurr than any of his Court; (Drurr
is a Measure about the fourteenth Part of an Inch). The Animositys
between these two Partiy run so high, that they will neither eat nor drink,
nor talk with each other. We compute the Tramecksan, or High-Heels, to
exceed us in number; but the Power is wholly on our Side. We apprehend
his Imperial Highness, the Heir to the Crown, to have some Tendency
towards the High-Heels; at least we can plainly discover one of his Heels
higher than the other, which gives him a Hobble in his Gait. Now, in the
midst of these intestine Disquiets, we are threatened with an Invasion from
the Island of Blefuscu, which is the other great Empire of the Universe,
almost as large and powerful as this of his Majesty. For as to what we have
heard you affirm, that there are other Kingdoms and States in the World
inhabited by human Creatures as large as yourself, our Philosophers are in
much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropt from the Moon,
or one of the Stars; because it is certain, that a hundred Mortals of your
Bulk would, in a short time, destroy all the Fruits and Cattle of his
Majesty's Dominions. Besides, our Historys of six thousand Moons make no
mention of any other Regions, than the two great Empires of Lilliput and
Blefuscu. Which two mighty Powers have, as I was going to tell you, been
engaged in a most obstinate War for six and thirty Moons past. It began
upon the following Occasion. It is allowed on all Hands, that the primitive
way of breaking Eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger End: But
his present Majesty's Grand-father, while he was a Boy, going to eat an
Egg, and breaking it according to the ancient Practice, happened to cut one
of his Fingers. Whereupon the Emperor his Father published an Edict,
commanding all his Subjects, upon great Penaltys, to break the smaller End
of their Eggs. The People so highly resented this Law, that our Historys
tell us there have been six Rebellions raised on that account; wherein one
Emperor lost his Life, and another his Crown. These civil Commotions
were constantly fomented by the Monarchs of Blefuscu; and when they
were quelled, the Exiles always fled for Refuge to that Empire. It is
computed, that eleven thousand Persons have, at several times, suffered
Death, rather than submit to break their Eggs at the smaller End. Many
hundred large Volumes have been published upon this Controversy: But the
books of the Big-Endians have been long forbidden, and the whole Party
rendered incapable by Law of holding Employments. During the Course of
these Troubles, the Emperors of Blefuscu did frequently expostulate by
their Ambassadors, accusing us of making a Schism in Religion, by
offending against a fundamental Doctrine of our great Prophet Lustrog, in
the fifty-fourth Chapter of the Blundecral (which is their Alcoran.) This,
however, is thought to be a meer Strain upon the Text: For the Words are
these: That all true Believers shall break their Eggs at the convenient End:
and which is the convenient End, seems, in my humble Opinion, to be left
to every Man's Conscience, or at least in the power of the Chief Magistrate
to determine. Now the Big-Endian Exiles have found so much Credit in the
Emperor of Blefuscu's Court, and so much private Assistance and
Encouragement from their Party here at home, that a bloody War has been
carried on between the two Empires for six and thirty Moons with various
Success; during which time we have lost forty Capital Ships, and a much
greater number of smaller Vessels, together with thirty thousand of our
best Seamen and Soldiers; and the Damage received by the Enemy is
reckon'd to be somewhat greater than Ours. However, they have now
equipped a numerous Fleet, and are just preparing to make a Descent upon
us; and his Imperial Majesty, placing great Confidence in your Valor and
Strength, has commanded me to lay this Account of his affairs before you.
I desired the Secretary to present my humble Duty to the Emperor, and to
let him know, that I thought it would not become Me, who was a
Foreigner, to interfere with Parties; but I was ready, with the hazard of my
Life, to defend his Person and State against all Invaders.
CHAPTER V.
The Author by an extraordinary Stratagem prevents an Invasion. A high
Title of Honour is conferred upon him. Embassadors arrive from the
Emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for Peace. The Empress's Apartment on fire
by an Accident; he Author instrumental I saving the rest of the Palace.
THE EMPIRE of Blefuscu is an island situated to the North North-East
side of Lilliput, from whence it is parted only by a Channel of eight
hundred Yards wide. I had not yet seen it, and upon this Notice of an
intended Invasion, I avoided appearing on that side of the Coast, for fear of
being discovered by some of the Enemy's Ships, who had received no
Intelligence of me, all Intercourse between the two Empires having been
strictly forbidden during the War, upon pain of Death, and an Embargo
laid by our Emperor upon all Vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his
Majesty a Project I had formed of seizing the Enemy's whole Fleet: which,
as our Scouts assured us, lay at Anchor in the Harbour ready to sail with
the first fair Wind. I consulted the most experienced Seamen, upon the
Depth of the Channel, which they had often plummed, who told me, that in
the middle at High-water it was seventy Glumgluffs deep, which is about
six Foot of European Measure; and the rest of it fifty Glumgluffs at most.
I walked towards the North-East Coast over against Blefuscu; and lying
down behind a Hillock, took out my small Pocket Perspective-Glass, and
viewed the Enemy's Fleet at Anchor, consisting of about fifty Men of War,
and a great Number of Transports; I then came back to my House, and
gave Order (for which I had a Warrant) for a great Quantity of the
strongest Cable and Bars of Iron. The Cable was about as thick as
Packthread, and the Bars of the length and size of a Knitting-Needle. I
trebled the Cable to make it stronger, and for the same reason I twisted
three of the Iron Bars together, binding the Extremitys into a Hook.
Having thus fixed fifty Hooks to as many Cables, I went back to the North-
East Coast, and putting off my Coat, Shoes, and Stockings, walked into the
Sea in my Leathern Jerkin, about half an hour before high Water. I waded
with what haste I could, and swam in the middle about thirty Yards till I
felt ground; I arrived at the Fleet in less than half an hour. The Enemy
was so frighted when they saw me, that they leaped out of their Ships, and
swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand Souls.
I then took my Tackling, and fastning a Hook to a Hole at the Prow of
each, I tyed all the Cords together at the End. While I was thus employed,
the Enemy discharged several thousand Arrows, many of which stuck in
my Hands and Face; and besides the excessive smart, gave me much
disturbance in my Work. My greatest Apprehension was for mine Eyes,
which I should have infallibly lost, if I had not suddenly thought of an
Expedient. I kept among other little Necessarys a pair of Spectacles in a
private Pocket, which, as I observed before, had scaped the Emperor's
Searchers. These I took out and fastned as strongly as I could upon my
Nose, and thus armed went on boldly with my Work, in spight of the
Enemy's Arrows, many of which struck against the Glasses of my
Spectacles, but without any other Effect, further than a little to discompose
them. I now fastned all the Hooks, and taking the Knot in my Hand, began
to pull; but not a Ship would stir, for they were all too fast held by their
Anchors, so that the bold part of my Enterprise remained. I therefore let
go the Cord, and leaving the Hooks fixed to the Ships, I resolutely cut with
my Knife the Cables that fastned the Anchors, receiving above two hundred
Shots in my Face and Hands; then I took up the knotted End of the Cables
to which my Hooks were tyed, and with great ease drew fifty of the
Enemy's Men-of-War after me.
The Blefuscudians, who had not the least Imagination of what I intended,
were at first confounded with Astonishment. They had seen me cut the
Cables, and thought my Design was only to let the Ships run a-drift or fall
foul on each other: but when they perceived the whole Fleet moving in
Order, and saw me pulling at the End, they set up such a scream of Grief
and Despair, that it is almost impossible to describe or conceive. When I
had got out of danger, I stopt a while to pick out the Arrows that stuck in
my Hands and Face, and rubbed on some of the same Ointment that was
given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. I then took off
my Spectacles, and waiting about an hour, till the Tide was a little fallen, I
waded through the middle with my Cargo, and arrived safe at the Royal
Port of Lilliput
The Emperor and his whole Court stood on the Shore expecting the Issue
of this great Adventure. They saw the Ships move forward in a large Half-
Moon, but could not discern me, who was up to my Breast in Water. When
I advanced to the middle of the Channel, they were yet in more pain,
because I was under Water to my Neck. The Emperor concluded me to be
drowned, and that the Enemy's Fleet was approaching in a hostile Manner:
But he was soon eased of his Fears, for the Channel growing shallower
every step I made, I came in a short time within hearing, and holding up
the end of the Cable by which the Fleet was fastned, I cryed in a loud
Voice, Long live the most puissant Emperor of Lilliput! This great Prince
received me at my Landing with all possible Encomiums, and created me a
Nardac upon the spot, which is the highest Title of Honour among them.
His Majesty desired I would take some other Opportunity of bringing all
the rest of his Enemy's Ships into his Ports. And so unmeasurable is the
Ambition of Princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than reducing
the whole Empire of Blefuscu into a Province, and governing it by a Vice-
Roy; of destroying the Big-Endian Exiles, and compelling that People to
break the smaller end of their Eggs, by which he would remain the sole
Monarch of the whole World. But I endeavor'd to divert him from this
Design, by many arguments drawn from the Topicks of Policy as well as
Justice: And I plainly protested, that I would never be an Instrument of
bringing a Free and Brave People into Slavery. And when the Matter was
debated in Council , the wisest part of the Ministry were of my Opinion.
This open bold Declaration of mine was so opposite to the Schemes and
Politicks of his Imperial Majesty, that he could never forgive it; he
mentioned it in a very artful Manner at Council, where I was told that
some of the wisest appeared, at least by their Silence, to be of my Opinion;
but others, who were my secret Enemies, could not forbear some
Expressions, which by a side-wind reflected on me. And from this time
began an intrigue between his Majesty and a Junto of Ministers maliciously
bent against me, which broke out in less than two Months, and had like to
have ended in my utter Destruction. Of so little weight are the greatest
Services to Princes, when put into the Ballance with a refusal to gratify
their Passions.
About three Weeks after this Exploit, there arrived a solemn embassy from
Blefuscu, with humble Offers of a Peace; which was soon concluded upon
Conditions very advantageous to our Emperor, wherewith I shall not
trouble the Reader. There were six Ambassadors, with a Train of about
five hundred persons, and their Entry was very magnificent, suitable to the
Grandeur of their Master, and the Importance of their Business. When
their Treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good Offices by the
Credit I now had, or at least appeared to have at Court, their Excellencies,
who were privately told how much I had been their Friend, made me a
Visit in Form. They began with many Compliments upon my Valor and
Generosity, invited me to that Kingdom in the Emperor their Master's
Name, and desired me to show them some Proofs of my prodigious
Strength, of which they had heard so many Wonders; wherein I readily
obliged them, but shall not trouble the Reader with the Particulars.
When I had for some time entertained their Excellencies, to their infinite
Satisfaction and Surprize, I desired they would do me the Honour to
present my most humble Respects to the Emperor their Master, the
Renown of whose Virtues had so justly filled the whole World with
Admiration, and whose Royal Person I resolved to attend before I returned
to my own Country: accordingly, the next time I had the honour to see our
Emperor, I desired his general Licence to wait on the Blefuscudian
Monarch, which he was pleas'd to grant me, as I could plainly perceive, in
a very cold manner; but could not guess the Reason, till I had a Whisper
from a certain Person, that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my
Intercourse with those Ambassadors as a mark of Disaffection, from which
I am sure my Heart was wholly free. And this was the first time I began to
conceive some imperfect Idea of Courts and Ministers.
It is to be observed, that these Ambassadors spoke to me by an Interpreter,
the Languages of both Empires differing as much from each other as any
two in Europe, and each Nation priding itself upon the Antiquity, Beauty,
and Energy of their own Tongues, with an avowed Contempt for that of
their Neighbour; yet our Emperor, standing upon the advantage he had got
by the seizure of their Fleet, obliged them to deliver their Credentials, and
make their Speech in the Lilliputian Tongue. And it must be confessed, that
from the great Intercourse of Trade and Commerce between both Realms,
from the continual Reception of Exiles, which is mutual among them, and
from the Custom in each Empire to send their young Nobility and richer
Gentry to the other, in order to polish themselves by seeing the World and
understanding Men and Manners; there are few Persons of Distinction, or
Merchants, or Seamen, who dwell in the Maritime parts, but what can hold
Conversation both Tongues; as I found some Weeks after, when I went to
pay my respects to the Emperor of Blefuscu, which in the midst of great
Misfortunes, through the Malice of my Enemies, proved a very happy
Adventure to me, as I shall relate in its proper place.
The Reader may remember, that when I signed those Articles upon which I
recovered my Liberty, there were some which I disliked upon account of
their being too servile, neither could anything but an extreme Necessity
have forced me to submit. But being now a Nardac, of the highest Rank in
that Empire, such Offices were looked upon as below my Dignity, and the
Emperor (to do him Justice) never once mentioned them to me. However,
it was not long before I had an Opportunity of doing his Majesty, at least,
as I then thought, a most signal Service. I was alarmed at Midnight with the
Cries of many hundred People at my Door; by which being suddenly
awaked, I was in some kind of Terror. I heard the word Burglum repeated
incessantly: several of the Emperor's Court, making their way through the
Croud, intreated me to come immediately to the Palace, where her
Imperial Majesty's Apartment was on fire, by the carelessness of a Maid of
Honour, who fell asleep while she was reading a Romance. I got up in an
instant; and Orders being given to clear the way before me, and it being
likewise a Moon-shine Night, I made a shift to get to the Palace without
trampling on any of the People. I found they had already applied Ladders
to the Walls of the Apartment, and were well provided with Buckets, but
the Water was at some distance. These Buckets were about the size of a
large Thimble, and the poor People supplied me with them as fast as they
could; but the Flame was so violent that they did little good. I might easily
have stifled it with my Coat, which I unfortunately left behind me for
haste, and came away only in my Leathern Jerkin. The Case seemed wholly
desperate and deplorable; and this magnificent Palace would have
infallibly been burnt down to the ground, if, by a Presence of Mind,
unusual to me, I had not suddenly thought of an Expedient. I had the
Evening before drunk plentifully of a most delicious Wine, called
Glimigrim (the Blefuscudians call it Flunec, but ours is esteemed the better
sort), which is very diuretick. By the luckiest Chance in the World, I had
not discharged myself of any part of it. The Heat I had contracted by
coming very near the Flames, and by labouring to quench them, made the
Wine begin to operate my Urine; which I voided in such a Quantity, and
applied so well to the proper Places, that in three Minutes the Fire was
wholly extinguished, and the rest of that noble Pile, which had cost so
many Ages in erecting, preserved from Destruction.
It was now Day-light, and I returned to my House, without waiting to
congratulate with the Emperor: because, although I had done a very
eminent piece of Service, yet I could not tell how his Majesty might resent
the manner by which I had performed it: For, by the fundamental Laws of
the Realm, it is Capital in any Person, of what Quality soever, to make
water within the Precincts of the Palace. But I was a little comforted by a
Message from his Majesty, that he would give Orders to the Grand
Justiciary for passing my Pardon in form; which, however, I could not
obtain. And I was privately assured, that the Empress, conceiving the
greatest Abhorrence of what I had done, removed to the most distant side
of the Court, firmly resolved that those Buildings should never be repaired
for her Use: and, in the presence of her chief Confidents could not forbear
vowing Revenge.
CHAPTER VI.
Of the Inhabitants of Lilliput; their Learning, Laws, and Customs, the
Manner of educating their Children. The Author's Way of living in that
Country. His Vindication of a great Lady
ALTHOUGH I intend to leave the Description of this Empire to a
particular Treatise, yet in the mean time I am content to gratify the curious
Reader with some general Ideas. As the common Size of the Natives is
somewhat under six Inches high, so there is an exact Proportion in all other
Animals, as well as Plants and Trees: For instance, the tallest Horses and
Oxen are between four and five Inches in height, the Sheep an Inch and a
half, more or less: their Geese about the bigness of a Sparrow, and so the
several Gradations downwards till you come to the smallest, which, to my
sight, were almost invisible; but Nature had adapted the Eyes of the
Lilliputians to all Objects proper for their view: They see with great
exactness, but at no great distance. And to show the sharpness of their Sight
towards Objects that are near, I have been much pleased with observing a
Cook pulling a Lark, which was not so large as a common Fly; and a young
Girl threading an invisible Needle with invisible Silk. Their tallest Trees
are about seven foot high; I mean some of those in the great Royal Park,
the Tops whereof I could but just reach with my Fist clenched. The other
Vegetables are in the same Proportion; but this I leave to the Reader's
Imagination.
I shall say but little at present of their Learning, which for many Ages had
flourished in all its Branches among them; But their manner of Writing is
very peculiar, being neither from the Left to the Right, like the Europeans;
nor from the Right to the Left, like the Arabians; nor from up to down,
like the Chinese; nor from down to up, like the Cascagians; but aslant from
one Corner of the Paper to the other, like Ladies in England.
They bury their Dead with their Heads directly downwards, because they
hold an Opinion, that in eleven thousand Moons they are all to rise again,
in which Period the Earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn upside
down, and by this means they shall, at their Resurrection, be found ready
standing on their Feet. The Learned among them confess the Absurdity of
this Doctrine, but the Practice still continues, in compliance to the Vulgar.
There are some Laws and Customs in this Empire very peculiar; and if
they were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear Country, I
should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to be wished
that they were as well executed. The first I shall mention relates to
Informers. All Crimes against the State are punished here with the utmost
severity; but if the Person accused makes his Innocence plainly to appear
upon his Tryal, the Accuser is immediately put to an ignominious Death;
and out of his Goods or Lands, the innocent Person is quadruply
recompensed for the Loss of his Time, for the Danger he underwent, for
the Hardship of his Imprisonment, and for all the Charges he had been at in
making his Defence. Or, if that Fund be deficient, it is largely supplied by
the Crown. The Emperor does also confer on him some publick Mark of
his Favour, and Proclamation is made of his Innocence through the whole
City.
They look upon Fraud as a greater Crime than Theft, and therefore seldom
fail to punish it with Death; for they alledge, that Care and Vigilance, with
a very common Understanding, may preserve a Man's Goods from
Thieves, but Honesty has no fence against superior Cunning; and since it is
necessary that there should be a perpetual Intercourse of Buying and
Selling, and dealing upon Credit, where Fraud is permitted and connived
at, or has no Law to punish it, the honest Dealer is always undone, and the
Knave gets the advantage. I remember when I was once interceding with
the King for a Criminal who had wronged his Master of a great Sum of
Money, which he had received by Order, and ran away with; and
happening to tell his Majesty, by way of Extenuation, that it was only a
Breach of Trust; the Emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer, as a
Defence, the greatest Aggravation of the Crime: and truly I had little to say
in return, farther than the common Answer, that different Nations had
different Customs; for, I confess, I was heartily ashamed.
Although we usually call Reward and Punishment the two Hinges upon
which all Government turns, yet I could never observe this Maxim to be
put in practice by any Nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there
bring sufficient Proof that he has strictly observed the Laws of his Country
for seventy-three Moons, has a claim to certain Privileges, according to his
Quality and Condition of Life, with a proportionable Sum of Money out of
a Fund appropriated for that Use: He likewise acquires the Title of Snilpall,
or Legal, which is added to his Name, but does not descend to his Posterity.
And these People thought it a prodigious Defect of Policy among us, when
I told them that our Laws were enforced only by Penalties without any
mention of Reward. It is upon this account that the Image of Justice, in
their courts of Judicature, is formed with six Eyes, two before, as many
behind, and on each side one, to signify Circumspection; with a Bag of
Gold open in her Right Hand, and a Sword sheathed in her Left, to shew
she is more disposed to Reward than to punish.
In chusing Persons for all Employments, they have more regard to good
Morals than to great Abilities; for, since Government is necessary to
Mankind, they believe-that the common Size of Human Understandings is
fitted to some Station or other, and that Providence never intended to make
the Management of publick Affairs a Mystery, to be comprehended only by
a few Persons of sublime Genius, of which there seldom are three born in
an Age: but they suppose Truth, Justice, Temperance, and the like, to be in
every Man's power; the Practice of which Virtues, assisted by Experience
and a good Intention, would qualify any Man for the service of his
Country, except where a Course of Study is required. But they thought the
want of Moral Virtues was so far from being supplied by superior
Endowments of the Mind, that Employments could never be put into such
dangerous Hands as those of Persons so qualifi'd; and at least, that the
Mistakes committed by Ignorance in a virtuous Disposition, would never be
of such fatal Consequence to the Publick Weal, as the Practices of a Man
whose Inclinations led him to be corrupt, and had great Abilities to
manage, and multiply, and defend his Corruptions.
In like manner, the Disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a Man
incapable of holding any Publick Station; for since Kings avow themselves
to be the Deputies of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be
more absurd than for a Prince to employ such Men as disown the Authority
under which he acts.
In relating these and the following Laws, I would only be understood to
mean the original Institutions, and not the most scandalous Corruptions into
which these People are fallen by the degenerate Nature of Man. For as to
that infamous Practice of acquiring great Employments by dancing on the
Ropes, or Badges of Favour and Distinction by leaping over Sticks and
creeping under them, the Reader is to observe, that they were first
introduced by the Grand-father of the Emperor now reigning, and grew to
the present height by the gradual increase of Party and Faction.
Ingratitude is among them a Capital Crime, as we read it to have been in
some other Countries; for they reason thus, that whoever makes ill Returns
to his Benefactor, must needs be a common Enemy to the rest of Mankind,
from whom he has received no Obligation, and therefore such a Man is not
fit to live.
Their notions relating to the Duties of Parents and Children differ
extremely from ours. For since the Conjunction of Male and Female is
founded upon the great Law of Nature, in order to propagate and continue
the Species, the Lilliputians will needs have it, that Men and Women are
joined together like other Animals, by the Motives of Concupiscence; and
that their Tenderness towards their Young proceeds from the like natural
Principle: for which reason they will never allow, that a Child is under any
Obligation to his Father for begetting him, or his Mother for bringing him
into the World; which, considering the Miseries of human Life, was neither
a Benefit in it self, or intended so by his Parents, whose Thoughts in their
Love-Encounters were otherwise employ'd. Upon these, and the like
Reasonings, their Opinion is, that Parents are the last of all others to be
trusted with the Education of their own Children: and therefore they have
in every Town publick Nurseries, where all Parents, except Cottagers and
Labourers, are obliged to send their Infants of both Sexes to be reared and
educated when they come to the Age of twenty Moons, at which time they
are supposed to have some Rudiments of Docility. These Schools are of
several kinds, suited to different Qualities, and to both Sexes. They have
certain Professors well skilled in preparing Children for such a condition
of Life as befits the Rank of their Parents, and their own Capacities as well
as Inclinations. I shall say something of the Male Nurseries, and then of the
Female.
The Nurseries for Males of Noble or Eminent Birth are provided with
Grave and Learned Professors, and their several Deputies. The Clothes and
Food of the Children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the
Principles of Honour, Justice, Courage, Modesty, Clemency, Religion, and
Love of their Country; they are always employed in some Business, except
in the times of Eating and Sleeping, which are very short, and two Hours
for Diversions, consisting of bodily Exercises. They are dressed by Men
till four Years of Age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, although
their Quality be ever so great; and the Women Attendants, who are Aged
proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial Offices.
They are never suffered to converse with Servants, but go together in small
or greater Numbers to take their diversions, and always in the presence of
a Professor, or one of his Deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad
Impressions of Folly and Vice to which our Children are subject. Their
Parents are suffered to see them only twice a Year; the visit is to last but an
hour. They are allowed to kiss the Child at Meeting and Parting; but a
Professor, who always stands by on those occasions, will not suffer them to
whisper, or use any fondling Expressions, or bring any Presents of Toys,
Sweet-meats, and the like.
The Pension from each Family for the Education and Entertainment of a
Child, upon failure of due payment, is levyed by the Emperor's Officers.
The Nurseries for Children of ordinary Gentlemen, Merchants, Traders,
and Handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only
those designed for Trades are put out Apprentices at Eleven years old,
whereas those of Persons of Quality continue in their exercises till Fifteen,
which answers to One and Twenty with us: but the Confinement is
gradually lessened for the last three Years.
In the Female Nurseries, the young Girls of Quality are educated much like
the Males, only they are dressed by orderly Servants of their own Sex; but
always in the presence of a Professor or Deputy, till they come to dress
themselves, which is at five Years old. And if it be found that these Nurses
ever presume to entertain the Girls with frightful or foolish Stories, or the
common Follies practiced by Chamber-Maids among us, they are publickly
whipped thrice about the City, imprisoned for a Year and banished for Life
to the most desolate part of the Country. Thus the young Ladies there are
as much ashamed of being Cowards and Fools as the Men, and despise all
personal Ornaments beyond Decency and Cleanliness: Neither did I
perceive any Difference in their Education, made by their Difference of
Sex, only that the Exercises of the Females were not altogether so robust;
and that some Rules were given them relating to domestic Life, and a
smaller Compass of Learning was enjoined them: for their maxim is, that
among People of Quality a Wife should be always a reasonable and
agreeable Companion, because she cannot always be young. When the Girls
are twelve Years old, which among them is the marriageable Age, their
Parents or Guardians take them home, with great Expressions of Gratitude
to the Professors, and seldom without Tears of the young Lady and her
Companions.
In the Nurseries of Females of the meaner sort, the Children are instructed
in all kinds of Works proper for their Sex, and their several degrees:
Those intended for Apprentices, are dismissed at nine Years old, the rest
are kept to thirteen.
The meaner Families who have Children at these Nurseries, are obliged,
besides their annual Pension, which is as low as possible, to return to the
Steward of the Nursery a small monthly Share of their Gettings, to be a
Portion for the Child; and therefore all Parents are limited in their
expenses by the Law. For the Lilliputians think nothing can be more unjust,
than for People, in subservience to their own Appetites, to bring Children
into the World and leave the Burthen of supporting them on the Publick.
As to Persons of Quality, they give Security to appropriate a certain Sum
for each Child, suitable to their Condition; and these Funds are always
managed with good Husbandry, and the most exact Justice.
The Cottagers and Labourers keep their Children at Home, their Business
being only to till and cultivate the Earth, and therefore their Education is
of little consequence to the Publick; but the Old and Diseased among them
are supported by Hospitals: for Begging is a Trade unknown in this
Kingdom.
And here it may perhaps divert the curious Reader to give some account of
my Domestick, and my manner of living in this Country, during a
Residence of nine Months and thirteen Days. Having a Head mechanically
turned, and being likewise forced by necessity, I had made for myself a
Table and Chair convenient enough, out of the largest Trees in the Royal
Park. Two hundred Sempstresses were employed to make me Shirts, and
Linnen for my Bed and Table, all of the strongest and coarsest kind they
could get; which, however, they were forced to quilt together in several
Folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than Lawn. Their Linnen is
usually three Inches wide, and three Foot make a Piece. The Sempstresses
took my Measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my Neck, and
another at my Mid-Leg, with a strong Cord extended, that each held by the
end, while the third measured the length of the Cord with a Rule an Inch
long. Then they measured my right Thumb, and desired no more; for by a
mathematical Computation, that twice round the Thumb is once round the
Wrist, and so on to the Neck and the Waist, and by the help of my old
Shirt, which I displayed on the Ground before them for a Pattern, they
fitted me exactly. Three hundred Taylors were employed in the same
manner to make me Clothes; but they had another Contrivance for taking
my Measure. I kneeled down, and they raised a Ladder from the Ground to
my Neck; upon this Ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a Plum-Line
from my Collar to the Floor, which just answered the length of my Coat;
but my Waist and Arms I measured myself. When my Clothes finished,
which was done in my House (for the largest of theirs would not have been
able to hold them) they looked like the Patch-Work made by the Ladies in
England, only that mine were all of a Colour.
I had three hundred Cooks to dress my Victuals, in little convenient Huts
built about my House, where they and their Families lived, and prepared
me two Dishes a-piece. I took up twenty Waiters in my Hand, and placed
them on the Table; an hundred more attended below on the Ground, some
with Dishes of Meat, and some with Barrels of Wine, and other Liquors,
slung on their Shoulders; all which the Waiters above drew up as I wanted,
in a very ingenious Manner, by certain Cords, as we draw the Bucket up a
Well in Europe. A Dish of their Meat was a good Mouthful, and a Barrel
of their Liquor a reasonable Draught. Their Mutton yields to ours, but
their Beef is excellent. I have had a Sirloin so large, that I have been forced
to make three Bits of it; but this is rare. My Servants were astonished to see
me eat it Bones and all, as in our Country we do the Leg of a Lark. Their
Geese and Turkeys I usually eat at a Mouthful, and I must confess they far
exceed ours. Of their smaller Fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the
end of my Knife.
One day his Imperial Majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired
that himself and his Royal Consort, with the young Princes of the Blood of
both Sexes, might have the Happiness (as he was pleased to call it) of dining
with me. They came accordingly, and I placed 'em upon Chairs of State on
my Table, just over-against me, with their Guards about them. Flimnap the
Lord High Treasurer, attended there likewise with his white Staff; and I
observed he often looked on me with a sour Countenance, which I would
not seem to regard, but ate more than usual, in honour to my dear
Country, as well as to fill the Court with Admiration. I have some private
Reasons to believe, that this visit from his Majesty gave Flimnap an
Opportunity of doing me ill Offices to his Master. That Minister had
always been my secret Enemy, though he outwardly caressed me more than
was usual to the Moroseness of his Nature. He represented to the Emperor
the low Condition of his Treasury; that he was forced to take up Money at
great Discount; that Exchequer Bills would not circulate under nine per
Cent below Par; that in short I had cost his Majesty above a Million and a
half of Sprugs (their greatest Gold Coin, about the bigness of a Spangle)
and upon the whole, that it would be advisable in the Emperor to take the
first fair Occasion of dismissing me.
I am here obliged to vindicate the Reputation of an excellent lady, who was
an innocent Sufferer upon my Account. The Treasurer took a fancy to be
jealous of his Wife, from the Malice of some Evil Tongues, who informed
him that her Grace had taken a violent Affection for my Person; and the
Court-Scandal ran for some time, that she once came privately to my
lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most infamous Falsehood, without
any Grounds, farther than that her Grace was pleased to treat me with all
innocent Marks of Freedom and Friendship. I own she came often to my
House, but always publickly, nor ever without three more in the Coach,
who were usually her Sister and young Daughter, and some particular
Acquaintance; but this was common to many other Ladies of the Court.
And I still appeal to my Servants round, whether they at any time saw a
Coach at my Door without knowing what Persons were in it. On those
Occasions, when a Servant had given me notice, my Custom was to go
immediately to the Door; and, after paying my Respects, to take up the
Coach and two Horses very carefully in my Hands (for if there were six
Horses, the Postillion always unharnessed four) and place them on a Table,
where I had fixed a moveable Rim quite round, of five Inches high, to
prevent Accidents. And I have often had four Coaches and Horses at once
on my Table full of Company, while I sate in my Chair, leaning my face
towards them; and when I was engaged with one Sett, the Coachman would
gently drive the others round my Table. I have passed many an Afternoon
very agreeably in these Conversations. But I defy the Treasurer, or his two
Informers, (I will name them, and let 'em make their best of it) Clustril
and Drunlo, to prove that any Person ever came to me incognito, except
the Secretary Reldresal, who was sent by express Command of his Imperial
Majesty, as I have before related. I should not have dwelt so long upon this
Particular, if it had not been a Point wherein the Reputation of a great
Lady is so nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I then had
the Honour to be a Nardac, which the Treasurer himself is not; for all the
World knows he is only a Glumglum, a Title inferior by one Degree, as
that of a Marquiss is to a Duke in England, although I allow he preceded
me in right of his Post. These false Informations, which I afterwards came
to the knowledge of, by an Accident not proper to mention, made Flimnap
the Treasurer shew his Lady for some time an ill Countenance, and me a
worse; and although he were at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I
lost all Credit with him, and found my Interest decline very fast with the
Emperor himself, who was indeed too much governed by that Favourite.
CHAPTER VII.
The Author being informed of a Design to accuse him of High-Treason,
makes his Escape to Blefuscu. His Reception there.
Before I proceed to give an Account of my leaving this Kingdom, it may
be proper to inform the Reader of a private Intrigue which had been for
two Months forming against me.
I had been hitherto all my Life a Stranger to Courts, for which I was
unqualified by the meanness of my Condition. I had indeed heard and read
enough of the Dispositions of great Princes and Ministers; but never
expected to have found such terrible Effects of them in so remote a
Country, governed, as I thought, by very different Maxims from those in
Europe.
When I was just preparing to pay my Attendance on the Emperor of
Blefuscu, a considerable Person at Court (to whom I had been very
serviceable at a time when he lay under the highest Displeasure of his
Imperial Majesty) came to my House very privately at Night in a close
Chair, and without sending his Name, desired admittance. The Chair-Men
were dismissed; I put the Chair, with his Lordship in it, into my Coat-
Pocket: and giving Orders to a trusty Servant to say I was indisposed and
gone to sleep, I fastened the Door of my House, placed the Chair on the
Table, according to my usual Custom, and sate down by it. After the
common Salutations were over, observing his Lordship's Countenance full
of Concern, and enquiring into the reason, he desired I would hear him
with patience in a Matter that highly concerned my Honour and my Life.
His Speech was to the following Effect, for I took Notes of it as soon as he
left me.
You are to know, said he, that several Committees of Council have been
lately called in the most private manner on your account; and it is but two
Days since his Majesty came to a full Resolution.
You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam (Galbet, or High Admiral)
has been your mortal Enemy almost ever since your Arrival: His original
Reasons I know not, but his Hatred is much increased since your great
Success against Blefuscu, by which his Glory as Admiral is obscur'd. This
Lord, in conjunction with Flimnap the High Treasurer, whose Enmity
against you is notorious on account of his Lady, Limtoc the General,
Lalcon the Chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand Justiciary, have prepared
Articles of Impeachment against you, for Treason, and other capital
Crimes.
This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own Merits and
Innocence, that I was going to interrupt; when he entreated me to be silent,
and thus proceeded.
Out of Gratitude for the Favours you have done me, I procured
Information of the whole Proceedings, and a Copy of the Articles, wherein
I venture my Head for your Service.
Articles of Impeachment against
Quinbus Flestrin (the Man-Mountain)
ARTICLE I
Whereas, by a Statute made in the Reign of his Imperial Majesty
Calin Deffar Plune, it is enacted, That whoever shall make water
within the Precincts of the Royal Palace, shall be liable to the
Pains and Penalties of High Treason; Notwithstanding, the said
Quinbus Flestrin, in open breach of the said Law, under colour of
extinguishing the Fire kindled in the Apartment of his Majesty's
most dear Imperial Consort, did maliciously, traitorously, and
devilishly, by discharge of his Urine, put out the said Fire
kindled in the said Apartment, lying and being within the
Precincts of the said Royal Palace, against the Statute in that
case provided, etc., against the Duty, etc.
ARTICLE II.
That the said Quinbus Flestrin having brought the Imperial Fleet
of Blefuscu into the Royal Port, and being afterwards commanded by
his Imperial Majesty to seize all the other Ships of the said
Empire of Blefuscu, and reduce that Empire to a Province, to be
governed by a Vice-Roy from hence, and to destroy and put to death
not only all the Big-Endian Exiles, but likewise all the People of
that Empire, who would not immediately forsake the Big-Endian
Heresy: He the said Flestrin, like a false Traitor against his
most Auspicious, Serene, Imperial Majesty, did petition to be
excused from the said Service upon pretence of unwillingness to
force the Consciences, or destroy the Liberties and Lives of an
innocent People.
ARTICLE III.
That, whereas certain Embassadors from the Court of Blefuscu, to
sue for Peace in his Majesty's Court: He, the said Flestrin, did,
like a false Traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert the said
Embassadors, although he knew them to be Servants to a Prince who
was lately an open Enemy to his Imperial Majesty, and in open War
against his said Majesty.
ARTICLE IV.
That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the Duty of a faithful
subject, is now preparing to make a Voyage to the Court and Empire
of Blefuscu, for which he had received only verbal Licence from
his Imperial Majesty; and under colour of the said Licence, doth
falsely and traitorously intend to take the said Voyage, and
hereby to aid, comfort, and abet the Emperor of Blefuscu, so late
an Enemy, and in open war with his Imperial Majesty aforesaid.
There are some other Articles, but these are the most important, of which I
have read you an Abstract.
In the several Debates upon this Impeachment, it must be confessed that his
Majesty gave many marks of his great Lenity, often urging the Services
you had done him, and endeavoring to extenuate your Crimes. The
Treasurer and Admiral insisted that you should be put to the most painful
and ignominious Death, by setting fire on your House at Night, and the
General was to attend with twenty Thousand Men armed with poisoned
Arrows to shoot you on the Face and Hands. Some of your Servants were
to have private Orders to strew a poisonous Juice on your Shirts, which
would soon make you tear your own Flesh, and die in the utmost Torture.
The General came into the same Opinion, so that for a long time there was
a Majority against you: but his Majesty resolving, if possible, to spare your
Life, at last brought off the Chamberlain.
Upon this Incident, Redresal, principal Secretary for private Affairs, who
always approved himself your true Friend, was commanded by the
Emperor to deliver his Opinion, which he accordingly did; and therein
justify'd the good Thoughts you have of him. He allowed your Crimes to
be great, but that still there was room for Mercy, the most commendable
Virtue in a Prince, and for which his Majesty was so justly celebrated. He
said, the Friendship between you and him was so well known to the World,
that perhaps the most honourable Board might think him partial: However,
in obedience to the Command he had received, he would freely offer his
Sentiments. That if his Majesty, in consideration of your Services, and
pursuant to his own merciful Disposition, would please to spare your Life,
and only give Order to put out both your Eyes, he humbly conceived that
by this Expedient, Justice might in some measure be satisfied, and all the
World would applaud the Lenity of the Emperor, as well as the fair and
generous Proceedings of those who have the Honour to be his Counsellors.
That the loss of your Eyes would be no impediment to your bodily
Strength, by which you might still be useful to his Majesty. That Blindness
is an addition to Courage, by concealing Dangers from us; that the Fear
you had for your Eyes was the greatest Difficulty in bringing over the
Enemy's Fleet, and it would be sufficient for you to see by the Eyes of the
Ministers, since the greatest Princes do no more.
This Proposal was received with the utmost Disapprobation by the whole
Board. Bolgolam, the Admiral, could not preserve his Temper, but rising
up in Fury said he wondered how the Secretary dared presume to give his
Opinion for preserving the Life of a Traytor: That the Services you had
performed, were, by all true Reasons of State, the great Aggravation of
your Crimes; that you, who were able to extinguish the Fire, by discharge
of Urine in her Majesty's Apartment (which he mentioned with horror),
might at another time, raise an Inundation by the same means, to drown the
whole Palace; and the same Strength which enabled you to bring over the
Enemy's Fleet, might serve, upon the first Discontent, to carry it back:
That he had good Reasons to think you were a Big-Endian in your heart;
and as Treason begins in the Heart, before it appears in Overt-Acts, so he
accused you as a Traytor on that Account, and therefore insisted you
should be put to death.
The Treasurer was of the same Opinion; he shewed to what streights his
Majesty's Revenue was reduced by the Charge of maintaining you, which
would soon grow insupportable: That the Secretary's Expedient of putting
out your Eyes was so far from being a Remedy against this Evil, it would
probably increase it, as it is manifest from the common Practice of
blinding some kind of Fowl, after which they fed the faster, and grew
sooner fat: That his sacred Majesty, and the Council, who are your Judges,
were in their own Consciences fully convinced of your Guilt, which was a
sufficient Argument to condemn you to Death, without the formal Proofs
required by the strict Letter of the Law.
But his Imperial Majesty, fully determined against Capital Punishment, was
graciously pleased to say, that since the Council thought the loss of your
Eyes too easy a Censure, some other may be inflicted hereafter. And your
Friend the Secretary humbly desiring to be heard again, in answer to what
the Treasurer had objected concerning the great Charge his Majesty was at
in maintaining you, said that his Excellency, who had the sole disposal of
the Emperor's Revenue, might easily provide against that Evil, by
gradually lessening your Establishment; by which, for want of sufficient
Food, you would grow weak and faint, and lose your Appetite, and
consequently decay and consume in a few Months; neither would the Stench
of your Carcass be then so dangerous, when it should become more than
half diminished; and immediately upon your Death, five or six Thousand of
his Majesty's Subjects might, in two or three days, cut your Flesh from
your Bones, take it away by Cart-loads, and bury it in distant parts to
prevent Infection, leaving the Skeleton as a Monument of Admiration to
Posterity.
Thus by the great Friendship of the Secretary, the whole Affair was
compromised. It was strictly enjoin'd, that the Project of starving you by
degrees should be kept a Secret, but the Sentence of putting out your Eyes
was entered on the Books; none dissenting except Bolgolam the Admiral,
who, being a Creature of the Empress, was perpetually instigated by her
Majesty to insist upon your Death, she having borne perpetual Malice
against you, on account of that infamous and illegal Method you took to
extinguish the Fire in her Apartment.
In three Days your Friend the Secretary will be directed to come to your
House, and read before you the Articles of Impeachment; and then to
signify the great Lenity and Favour of his Majesty and Council, whereby
you are only condemned to the loss of your Eyes, which his Majesty does
not question you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and twenty of his
Majesty's Surgeons will attend, in order to see the Operation well
performed, by discharging very sharp-pointed Arrows into the Balls of
your Eyes, as you lie on the Ground.
I leave to your Prudence what Measures you will take; and to avoid
Suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came.
His Lordship did so, and I remained alone, under many Doubts and
Perplexities of Mind.
It was a Custom introduced by this Prince and his Ministry (very different,
as I have been assured, from the Practices of former Times) that after the
Court had decreed any cruel Execution, either to gratify the Monarch's
Resentment, or the Malice of a Favourite, the Emperor always made a
Speech to his whole Council, expressing his great Lenity and Tenderness,
as Qualities known and confessed by all the World. This Speech was
immediately published through the Kingdom; nor did anything terrify the
People so much as those Encomiums on his Majesty's Mercy; because it was
observed, that the more these Praises were enlarged and insisted on, the
more inhuman was the Punishment, and the Sufferer more innocent. And
as to myself, I must confess, having never been designed for a Courtier
either by my Birth or Education, I was so ill a Judge of Things, that I
could not discover the Lenity and Favour of this Sentence, but conceived it
(perhaps erroneously) rather to be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes
thought of standing my Tryal, for although I could not deny the facts
alledged in the several Articles, yet I hoped they would admit of some
Extenuations. But having in my Life perused many State-Tryals, which I
ever observed to terminate as the Judges thought fit to direct, I durst not
rely on so dangerous a Decision, in so critical a Juncture, and against such
powerful Enemies. Once I was strongly bent upon Resistance, for while I
had Liberty, the whole Strength of that Empire could hardly subdue me,
and I might easily with Stones pelt the Metropolis to pieces; but I soon
rejected that Project with Horror, by remembering the Oath I had made to
the Emperor, the Favours I received from him, and the High Title of
Nardac he conferred upon Me. Neither had I so soon learned the Gratitude
of Courtiers, to persuade myself that his Majesty's present Severities
quitted me of all past Obligations.
At last I fixed upon a Resolution, for which it is probable I may incur some
Censure, and not unjustly; for I confess I owe the preserving of my Eyes,
and consequently my Liberty, to my own great Rashness and want of
Experience: because if I had then known the Nature of Princes and
Ministers, which I have since observed in many other Courts, and their
Methods of treating Criminals less obnoxious than myself, I should with
great alacrity and readiness have submitted to so easy a Punishment. But
hurry'd on by the Precipitancy of Youth, and having his Imperial Majesty's
Licence to pay my Attendance upon the Emperor of Blefuscu, I took this
Opportunity, before the three Days were elapsed, to send a Letter to my
Friend the Secretary, signifying my Resolution of setting out that Morning
Blefuscu pursuant to the leave I had got; and without waiting for an
Answer, I went to that side of the Island where our Fleet lay. I seized a
large Man of War, tyed a Cable to the Prow, and, lifting up the Anchors, I
stript myself, put my Cloaths (together with my Coverlet, which I brought
under my Arm) into the Vessel, and drawing it after me between wading
and swimming, arrived at the Royal Port of Blefuscu, where the People
had long expected me; they lent me two Guides to direct me to the Capital
City, which is of the same Name. I held them in my Hands till I came
within two hundred Yards of the Gate, and desired them to signify my
Arrival to one of the Secretarys, and let him know, I there waited his
Majesty's Command. I had an answer in about an Hour, that his Majesty,
attended by the Royal Family, and great Officers of the Court, was coming
out to receive me. I advanced a Hundred Yards. The Emperor and his
Train alighted from their Horses, the Empress and Ladies from their
Coaches, and I did not perceive they were in any Fright or Concern. I lay
on the Ground to kiss his Majesty's and the Empress's Hand. I told his
Majesty that I had come according to my Promise, and with the Licence of
the Emperor my Master, to have the Honour of seeing so Mighty a
Monarch, and to offer him any Service in my power, consistent with my
Duty to my own Prince; not mentioning a word of my Disgrace, because I
had hitherto no regular Information of it, and might suppose myself wholly
ignorant of any such Design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the
Emperor would discover the Secret while I was out of his power: wherein,
however, it soon appeared I was deceived.
I shall not trouble the Reader with the particular Account of my Reception
at this Court, which was suitable to the Generosity of so great a Prince; nor
of the Difficulties I was in for want of a House and Bed, being forced to lie
on the Ground, wrapt up in my Coverlet.
CHAPTER VIII.
The Author, by a lucky Accident, finds means to leave Blefuscu; and, after
some Difficulties, returns safe to his Native Country.
THREE DAYS after my Arrival, walking out of Curiosity to the North-
East Coast of the Island, I observed, about half a League off, in the Sea,
something that looked like a Boat overturned. I pulled off my Shoes and
Stockings, and wading two or three Hundred Yards, I found the Object to
approach nearer by force of the Tide; and then plainly saw it to be a real
Boat, which I supposed might, by some Tempest, have been driven from a
Ship; whereupon I returned immediately towards the City, and desired his
Imperial Majesty to lend me twenty of the tallest Vessels he had left after
the Loss of his Fleet, and three thousand Seamen under the Command of
the Vice-Admiral. This Fleet sailed round, while I went back the shortest
way to the Coast where I first discovered the Boat; I found the Tide had
driven it still nearer. The Seamen were all provided with Cordage, which I
had beforehand twisted to a sufficient strength. When the Ships came up, I
stript my self, and waded till I came within an hundred Yards of the Boat,
after which I was forced to swim till I got up to it. The Seamen threw me
the end of the Cord, which I fastened to a Hole in the fore-part of the Boat,
and the other end to a Man of War: But I found all my Labour to little
purpose; for being out of my depth, I was not able to work. In this
Necessity, I was forced to swim behind, and push the Boat forwards as
often as I could, with one of my Hands; and the Tide favouring me, I
advanced so far, that I could just hold up my Chin and feel the Ground. I
rested two or three Minutes, and then gave the Boat another Shove, and so
on till the Sea was no higher than my Arm-pits; and now the most
laborious part being over, I took out my other Cables, which were stowed
in one of the Ships, and fastening them first to the Boat, and then to nine of
the Vessels which attended me; the Wind being favourable, the Sea-men
towed, and I shoved till we arrived within forty Yards of the Shore; and
waiting till the Tide was out, I got dry to the Boat, and by the assistance of
two thousand Men, with Ropes and Engines, I made a shift to turn it on its
Bottom, and found it was but little damaged.
I shall not trouble the Reader with the Difficulties I was under by the help
of certain Paddles, which cost me ten Days making, to get my Boat to the
Royal Port of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of People appeared
upon my arrival, full of Wonder at the sight of so prodigious a Vessel. I
told the Emperor that my good Fortune had thrown this Boat in my way,
to carry me to some place from whence I might return into my Native
Country, and begged his Majesty's Orders for getting Materials to fit it up,
together with his Licence to depart; which, after some kind Expostulations,
he was pleased to grant.
I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any Express
relating to me from our Emperor to the Court of Blefuscu. But I was
afterwards given privately to understand, that his Imperial Majesty, never
imagining I had the least notice of his Designs, believed I was only gone to
Blefuscu in performance of my promise, according to the Licence he had
given me, which was well known at our Court, and would return in a few
Days when that Ceremony was ended. But he was at last in pain at my long
absence; and after consulting with the Treasurer, and the rest of that Cabal,
a Person of Quality was dispatched with the Copy of the Articles against
me. This Envoy had Instructions to represent to the Monarch of Blefuscu
the great Lenity of his Master, who was content to punish me no farther
than with the loss of mine Eyes; that I had fled from Justice, and if I did
not return in two Hours, I should be deprived of my Title of Nardac, and
declared a Traitor. The Envoy further added, that in order to maintain the
Peace and Amity between both Empires, his Master expected, that his
Brother of Blefuscu would give Orders to have me sent back to Lilliput,
bound Hand and Foot, to be punished as a Traitor.
The Emperor of Blefuscu having taken three Days to consult, returned an
Answer consisting of many Civilities and Excuses. He said, that as for
sending me bound, his Brother knew it was impossible; that although I had
deprived him of his Fleet, yet he owed great Obligations to me for many
good Offices I had done him in making the Peace. That however both their
Majesties would soon be made easy; for I had found a prodigious Vessel on
the Shore, able to carry me on the Sea, which he had given order to fit up
with my own Assistance and Direction; and he hoped in a few Weeks both
Empires would be freed from so insupportable an Incumbrance.
With this Answer the Envoy returned to Lilliput, and the Monarch of
Blefuscu related to me all that had past, offering me at the same time (but
under the strictest Confidence) his gracious Protection, if I would continue
in his Service; wherein although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved
never more to put any Confidence in Princes or Ministers, where I could
possibly avoid it; and therefore, with all due Acknowledgments for his
favourable Intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told him, that since
Fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a Vessel in my way, I was
resolved to venture myself in the Ocean, rather than be an occasion of
Difference between two such mighty Monarchs. Neither did I find the
Emperor at all displeased; and I discover'd by a certain Accident, that he
was very glad of my Resolution, and so were most of his Ministers.
These Considerations moved me to hasten my Departure somewhat sooner
than I intended; to which the Court, impatient to have me gone, very
readily contributed. Five Hundred Workmen were employed to make two
Sails to my Boat, according to my Directions, by quilting thirteen fold of
their strongest Linnen together. I was at the pains of making Ropes and
Cables, by twisting ten, twenty or thirty of the thickest and strongest of
theirs. A great Stone that I happen'd to find, after a long Search, by the
Sea-shore, served me for an Anchor. I had the Tallow of three hundred
Cows for greasing my Boat, and other Uses. I was at incredible pains in
cutting down some of the largest Timber-Trees for Oars and Masts,
wherein I was, however, much assisted by his Majesty's Ship-Carpenters,
who helped me in smoothing them, after I had done the rough Work.
In about a Month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his Majesty's
Commands, and to take my leave. The Emperor and Royal Family came
out of the Palace: I lay down on my Face to kiss his Hand, which he very
graciously gave me; so did the Empress and young Princes of the Blood.
His Majesty presented me with fifty Purses of two hundred Sprugs a-piece,
together with his Picture at full length, which I put immediately into one of
my Gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The Ceremonies at my departure
were too many to trouble the Reader with at this time.
I stored the Boat with the Carcases of an hundred Oxen, and three hundred
Sheep, with Bread and Drink proportionable, and as much Meat ready
dressed as four Hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six cows and
two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them into
my own Country, and propagate the breed. And to feed them on board, I
had a good bundle of hay, and a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken a
dozen of the Natives, but this was a Thing the Emperor would by no means
permit; and besides a diligent search into my Pockets, his Majesty engaged
my Honour not to carry away any of his Subjects, although with their own
consent and desire.
Having thus prepared all Things as well as I was able, I set sail on the
twenty-fourth Day of September 1701, at six in the Morning; and when I
had gone about four Leagues to the Northward, the Wind being at South-
East, at six in the Evening, I descried a small Island about half a League to
the North-West. I advanced forward, and cast Anchor on the Lee-side of
the Island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took some Refreshment,
and went to my rest. I slept well, and I conjecture at least six Hours, for I
found the Day broke in two Hours after I awaked. It was a clear Night. I
eat my Breakfast before the Sun was up; and heaving Anchor, the Wind
being favourable, I steered the same Course that I had done the Day before,
wherein I was directed by my Pocket-Compass. My Intention was to reach,
if possible, one of those Islands, which I had reason to believe lay to the
North-East of Van Diemen's Land. I discovered nothing all that Day; but
upon the next, about three in the Afternoon, when I had by my
Computation made twenty-four Leagues from Blefuscu, I descryed a Sail
steering to the South-East; my Course was due East. I hailed her, but could
get no Answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for the Wind slackned. I
made all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spyed me, then hung out
her Antient, and discharged a Gun. It is not easy to express the Joy I was in
upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved Country, and
the dear Pledges I had left in it. The Ship slackned her Sails, and I came up
with her between five and six in the Evening, September 26; but my Heart
leapt within me to see her English Colours. I put my Cows and Sheep into
my Coat-Pockets, and got on board with all my little Cargo of Provisions.
The Vessel was an English Merchantman, returning from Japan by the
North and South-Seas; the Captain, Mr. John Biddle of Deptford, a very
civil Man, and an excellent Sailor. We were now in the Latitude of 30
Degrees south; there were about fifty Men in the Ship; and here I met an
old Comrade of mine, one Peter Williams, who gave me a good Character
to the Captain. This Gentleman treated me with Kindness, and desired I
would let know what place I came from last, and whither I was bound;
which I did in few Words, but he thought I was raving, and that the
Dangers I underwent had disturbed my Head; whereupon I took my black
Cattle and Sheep out of my Pocket, which, after great Astonishment,
clearly convinced him of my Veracity. I then shewed him the Gold given
me by the Emperor of Lilliput, together with his Majesty's Picture at full
length, and some other Rarities of that Country. I gave him two Purses of
two hundred Sprugs each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to
make him a Present of a Cow and a Sheep big with Young.
I shall not trouble the Reader with a particular Account of this Voyage,
which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the Downs on
the 13th of April 1702. I had only one Misfortune, that the Rats on board
carried away one of my Sheep; I found her Bones in a Hole, picked clean
from the Flesh. The rest of my Cattle I got safe on Shore, and set them
grazing in a Bowling-Green at Greenwich, where the Fineness of the Grass
made them feed very heartily, though I had always feared the contrary:
neither could I possibly have preserved them in so long a Voyage, if the
Captain had not allowed me some of his best Bisket, which, rubbed to
Powder, and mingled with Water, was their constant Food. The short time
I continued in England, I made considerable Profit by shewing my Cattle to
many Persons of Quality, and others: and before I began my second
Voyage, I sold them for six hundred Pounds. Since my last return, I find
the breed is considerably increased, especially the Sheep; which I hope will
prove much to the Advantage of the Woollen Manufacture, by the Fineness
of the Fleeces.
I stayed but two Months with my Wife and Family; for my insatiable
Desire of seeing foreign Countries would suffer me to continue no longer.
I left fifteen hundred Pounds with my Wife, and fixed her in a good House
at Redriff. My remaining Stock I carried with me, part in Money, and part
in Goods, in hopes to improve my Fortunes. My eldest Uncle John had left
me an Estate in Land, near Epping, of about Thirty Pounds a Year; and I
had a long Lease of the Black-Bull in Fetter-Lane, which yielded me as
much more; so that I was not in any Danger of leaving my Family upon the
Parish. My Son Johnny, named so after his Uncle, was at the Grammar
School, and a towardly Child. My Daughter Betty (who is now well
married, and has Children) was then at her Needle-work. I took leave of
my Wife, and Boy and Girl, with Tears on both sides, and went on board
the Adventure, a Merchant-Ship of three hundred tons, bound for Surat,
Captain John Nicholas of Liverpool Commander. But my Account of this
Voyage must be referred to the Second Part of my Travels.
THE END OF THE FIRST PART.
PART II: A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG
[Plate 2: Brobdingnag]
CHAPTER I.
A great Storm described, the Long-Boat sent to fetch Water, the Author
goes with it to discover the Country. He is left on Shore, is seized by one of
the Natives, and carried to a Farmer's House. His Reception there, with
several Accidents that happened there. A Description of the Inhabitants.
Having been condemned by Nature andFortune to an active and restless
Life, in two Months after my Return I again left my native Country, and
took Shipping in the Downs on the 20th Day of June 1702, in the
Adventure, Capt. John Nicholas, a Cornish Man, Commander, bound for
Surat. We had a very prosperous Gale till we arrived at the Cape of Good-
hope, where we landed for fresh Water, but discovering a Leak we
unshipped our Goods and winter'd there; for the Captain falling sick of an
Ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set sail,
and had a good Voyage till we passed the Streights of Madagascar; but
having got Northward of that Island, and to about five Degrees South
Latitude, the Winds, which in those Seas are observed to blow a constant
equal Gale between the North and West from the beginning of December to
the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with much
greater Violence, and more Westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty
Days together, during which time we were driven a little to the East of the
Molucca Islands, and about three Degrees Northward of the Line, as our
Captain found by an Observation he took the 2d of May, at which time the
Wind ceased, and it was a perfect Calm, whereat I was not a little rejoyced.
But he, being a Man well experienc'd in the Navigation of those Seas, bid
us all prepare against a Storm, which accordingly happened the Day
following: For a Southern Wind, called the Southern Monsoon, began to set
in.
Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our Sprit-sail, and stood by
to hand the Fore-sail; but making foul Weather, we look'd the Guns were
all fast, and handed the Missen. The Ship lay very broad off, so we thought
it better spooning before the Sea, than trying or hulling. We reeft the Fore-
sail and set him, we hawl'd aft the Fore-sheet; the Helm was hard a
Weather. The Ship wore bravely. We belay'd the Fore-down-hall; but the
Sail was split, and we hawl'd down the Yard, and got the Sail into the Ship,
and unbound all the things clear of it. It was a very fierce Storm; the Sea
broke strange and dangerous. We hawl'd off upon the Lanniard of the
Whip-staff, and helped the man at Helm. We would not get down our Top-
mast, but let all stand, because she scudded before the Sea very well, and
we knew that the Top-mast being aloft, the Ship was the wholesomer, and
made better way thro' the Sea, seeing we had Sea-Room. When the Storm
was over, we set Fore-sail and Main-sail, and brought the Ship to. Then we
set the Missen, Maintop-sail, and the Foretop-sail. Our Course was East
North-east, the Wind was at South-west. We got the Star-board Tacks
aboard; we cast off our Weather-braces and Lifts; we set in the Lee-braces,
and hawl'd forward by the Weather-bowlings, and hawl'd them tight, and
belayed them, and hawl'd over the Missen Tack to Windward, and kept her
full and by as near as she could lye.
During this Storm, which was followed by a strong Wind West South-west,
we were carried by my Computation about five hundred Leagues to the
East, so that the oldest Sailor on Board could not tell in what part of the
World we were. Our Provisions held out well, our Ship was staunch, and
our Crew all in good Health; but we lay in the utmost Distress for Water.
We thought it best to hold on the same Course, rather than turn more
Northerly, which might have brought us to the North-west parts of Great
Tartary, and into the frozen Sea.
On the 16th Day of June 1703 a Boy on the Top-mast discovered Land. On
the 17th we came in full View of a great Island or Continent (for we knew
not whether) on the South-side whereof was a small Neck of Land jutting
out into the Sea, and a Creek too shallow to hold a Ship of above one
hundred Tuns. We cast Anchor within a League of this Creek, and our
Captain sent a dozen of his Men well armed in the Long Boat, with Vessels
for Water if any could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I
might see the Country, and make what Discoveries I could. When we came
to Land we saw no River or Spring, nor any sign of Inhabitants. Our Men
therefore wander'd on the Shore to find out some fresh Water near the Sea,
and I walked alone about a mile on the other Side, where I observed the
Country all barren and rocky. I now began to be weary, and seeing nothing
to entertain my Curiosity, I returned gently down towards the Creek; and
the Sea being full in my View, I saw our Men already got into the Boat,
and rowing for Life to the Ship. I was going to hollow after them, although
it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge Creature walking
after them in the Sea, as fast as he could: He waded not much deeper than
his Knees, and took prodigious strides: But our Men had the start of him
half a League, and the Sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks,
the Monster was not able to overtake the Boat. This I was afterwards told,
for I durst not stay to see the Issue of that Adventure; but ran as fast as I
could the way I first went; and then climbed up a steep Hill, which gave me
some Prospect of the Country. I found it fully cultivated; but that which
first surprized me was the Length of the Grass, which in those Grounds
that seemed to be kept for hay, was above twenty foot high.
I fell into a high Road, for so I took it to be, though it served to the
Inhabitants only as a foot Path through a Field of Barley. Here I walked on
for some time, but could see little on either Side, it being now near
Harvest, and the Corn rising at least forty foot. I was an hour walking to
the end of this Field, which was fenced in with a Hedge of at least one
hundred and twenty foot high, and the Trees so lofty that I could make no
Computation of their Altitude. There was a Stile to pass from this Field
into the next. It had four Steps, and a Stone to cross over when you came to
the uppermost. It was impossible for me to climb this Stile, because every
Step was six Foot high, and the upper Stone above twenty. I was
endeavouring to find some Gap in the Hedge, when I discovered one of the
Inhabitants in the next Field, advancing towards the Stile, of the same Size
with him whom I saw in the Sea, pursuing our Boat. He appeared as tall as
an ordinary Spire-steeple, and took about ten Yards at every Stride, as near
as I could guess. I was struck with the utmost Fear and Astonishment, and
ran to hide myself in the Corn, from whence I saw him at the top of the
Style, looking back into the next Field on the right hand, and heard him
call in a Voice many degrees louder than a speaking Trumpet; but the
Noise was so high in the Air, that at first I certainly thought it was thunder.
Whereupon, seven Monsters like himself came towards him with Reaping-
hooks in their Hands, each Hook about the size of six Scythes. These People
were not so well clad as the first, whose Servants or Labourers they
seemed to be: For upon some Words he spoke, they went to reap the Corn
in the Field where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could,
but was forced to move with extreme Difficulty, for the Stalks of the Corn
were sometimes not above a Foot distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my
Body betwix them. However, I made a shift to go forward till I came to a
part of the Field where the Corn had been laid by the Rain and Wind. Here
it was impossible for me to advance a step; for the Stalks were so
interwoven that I could not creep thorough, and the Beards of the fallen
Ears so strong and pointed that they pierced through my Cloaths into my
Flesh. At the same time I heard the Reapers not above an hundred Yards
behind me. Being quite dispirited with Toil, and wholly overcome by Grief
and Despair, I lay down between two Ridges, and heartily wished I might
there end my Days. I bemoaned my desolate Widow, and Fatherless
Children. I lamented my own Folly and Wilfulness in attempting a second
Voyage against the Advice of all my Friends and Relations. In this terrible
Agitation of Mind I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose
Inhabitants looked upon me as the greatest Prodigy that ever appeared in
the World; Where I was able to draw an Imperial Fleet in my Hand, and
perform those other Actions which will be recorded forever in the
Chronicles of that Empire, while Posterity shall hardly believe them,
although attested by Millions. I reflected what a Mortification it must prove
to me to appear as inconsiderable in this Nation as one single Lilliputian
would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the least of my
Misfortunes: For as human Creatures are observed to be more savage and
cruel in Proportion to their Bulk, what could I expect but to be a Morsel in
the Mouth of the first among these enormous Barbarians that should
happen to seize me? Undoubtedly Philosophers are in the right when they
tell us, that nothing is great or little otherwise than by Comparison. It
might have pleased Fortune to let the Lilliputians find some Nation, where
the People were as diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me.
And who knows but that even this prodigious Race of Mortals might be
equally overmatched in some distant part of the World, whereof we have
yet no Discovery?
Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these
Reflections, when one of the Reapers approaching within ten Yards of the
Ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next Step I should be
squashed to Death under his Foot, or cut in two with his Reaping-hook.
And therefore when he was again about to move, I screamed as loud as
Fear could make me. Whereupon the huge Creature trod short, and looking
round about under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay on the
Ground. He considered a while with the Caution of one who endeavors to
lay hold on a small dangerous Animal in such a Manner that it shall not be
able either to scratch or to bite him, as I myself have sometimes done with
a Weasel in England. At length he ventured to take me up behind by the
Middle between his fore Finger and Thumb, and brought me within three
Yards of his Eyes, that he might behold my Shape more perfectly. I
guessed his Meaning, and my good Fortune gave me so much Presence of
Mind, that I resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in the Air,
about sixty Foot from the Ground, although he grievously pinched my
Sides, for fear I should slip through his Fingers. All I ventured was to raise
my Eyes towards the Sun, and place my Hands together in a supplicating
Posture, and to speak some Words in an humble melancholy Tone, suitable
to the Condition I then was in. For I apprehended every moment that he
would dash me against the Ground, as we usually do any little hateful
Animal which we have a mind to destroy. But my good Star would have it,
that he appeared pleased with my Voice and Gestures, and began to look
upon me as a Curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate
Words, although he could not understand them. In the mean time I was not
able to forbear groaning and shedding Tears, and turning my Head towards
my Sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I was hurt by
the Pressure of his Thumb and Finger. He seemed to apprehend my
Meaning; for, lifting up the Lappet of his Coat, he put me gently into it,
and immediately ran along with me to his Master, who was a substantial
Farmer, and the same Person I had first seen in the Field.
The Farmer having (as I supposed by their talk) received such an Account
of me as his Servant could give him, took a piece of a small Straw, about
the size of a walking Staff, and therewith lifted up the Lappets of my Coat;
which it seems he thought to be some kind of Covering that Nature had
given me. He blew my Hairs aside to take a better View of my Face. He
called his Hinds about him, and asked them (as I afterwards learned)
whether they had ever seen in the Fields any little Creature that resembled
me? He then placed me softly on the Ground upon all four, but I got
immediately up, and walked slowly backwards and forwards, to let those
People see I had no Intent to run away. They all sat down in a Circle about
me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off my Hat, and made a low
Bow towards the Farmer. I fell on my Knees, and lifted up my Hands and
Eyes, and spoke several Words as loud as I could: I took a Purse of Gold
out of my Pocket, and humbly presented it to him. He received it on the
Palm of his Hand, then applied it close to his Eye, to see what it was, and
afterwards turned it several times with the Point of a Pin (which he took
out of his Sleeve), but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a Sign
that he should place his Hand on the Ground. I took the Purse, and opening
it, poured all the Gold into his Palm. There were six Spanish Pieces of four
Pistoles each, beside twenty or thirty smaller Coins. I saw him wet the Tip
of his little Finger upon his Tongue, and take up one of my largest Pieces,
and then another, but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they were. He
made me a Sign to put them again into my Purse, and the Purse again into
my Pocket, which after offering to him several times, I thought it best to
do.
The Farmer by this time was convinced I must be a rational Creature. He
spoke often to me, but the Sound of his Voice pierced my Ears like that of
a Water-Mill, yet his Words were articulate enough. I answered as loud as
I could, in several Languages, and he often laid his Ear within two Yards
of me, but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to each other. He
then sent his Servants to their Work, and taking his Handkerchief out of his
Pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left Hand, which he placed flat on
the Ground, with the Palm upwards, making me a Sign to step into it, as I
could easily do, for it was not above a Foot in thickness. I thought it my
part to obey, and for fear of falling, laid myself at Length upon the
Handkerchief, with the Remainder of which he lapped me up to the Head
for further Security, and in this manner carried me home to his House.
There he called his Wife, and shewed me to her; but she screamed and ran
back, as Women in England do at the Sight of a Toad or a Spider.
However, when she had a while seen my Behaviour, and how well I
observed the Signs her Husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by
degrees grew extremely tender of me.
It was about twelve at Noon, and a Servant brought in Dinner. It was only
one substantial Dish of Meat (fit for the plain condition of an Husbandman)
in a Dish of about twenty-four Foot Diameter. The Company were the
Farmer and his Wife, three Children, and an old Grandmother: When they
were sat down, the Farmer placed me at some Distance from him on the
Table, which was thirty Foot high from the Floor. I was in a terrible
Fright, and kept as far as I could from the Edge for Fear of falling. The
Wife minced a bit of Meat, then crumbled some Bread on a Trencher, and
placed it before me. I made her a low Bow, took out my Knife and Fork,
and fell to eating, which gave them exceeding Delight. The Mistress sent
her Maid for a small Dram-cup, which held about three Gallons, and filled
it with Drink; I took up the Vessel with much difficulty in both Hands, and
in a most respectful manner drank to her Ladyship's Health, expressing the
Words as loud as I could in English, which made the Company laugh so
heartily, that I was almost deafned with the Noise. This Liquor tasted like a
small Cyder, and was not unpleasant. Then the Master made me a Sign to
come to his Trencher-side; but as I walked on the Table, being in great
Surprize all the Time, as the indulgent Reader will easily conceive and
excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my Face, but
received no Hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the good People to
be in much Concern, I took my Hat (which I held under my Arm out of
good Manners) and waving it over my Head, made three Huzza's, to shew I
had got no Mischief by my Fall. But advancing forwards toward my
Master (as I shall henceforth call him), his youngest Son who sate next him,
an arch Boy of about ten Years old, took me up by the Legs, and held me
so high in the Air, that I trembled every Limb; but his Father snatched me
from him, and at the same Time gave him such a Box on the left Ear, as
would have felled an European Troop of Horse to the Earth, ordering him
to be taken from the Table. But being afraid the Boy might owe me a
spight, and well remembring how mischievous all Children among us
naturally are to Sparrows, Rabbits, young Kittens, and Puppy Dogs, I fell
on my Knees, and pointing to the Boy, made my Master to understand, as
well as I could, that I desired his Son might be pardoned. The Father
complied, and the Lad took his Seat again; whereupon I went to him and
kissed his Hand, which my Master took, and made him stroke me gently
with it.
In the midst of Dinner, my Mistress's favourite Cat leapt into her Lap. I
heard a Noise behind me like that of a dozen Stocking-Weavers at Work;
and turning my Head, I found it proceeded from the purring of this
Animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an Ox, as I computed by
the View of her Head, and one of her Paws, while her Mistress was feeding
and stroaking her. The Fierceness of this Creature's Countenance
altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the further End of the Table,
above fifty Foot off, and altho' my Mistress held her fast for fear she
might give a Spring, and seize me in her Talons. But it happened there was
no Danger; for the Cat took not the least Notice of me when my Master
placed me within three Yards of her. And as I have been always told, and
found true by Experience in my Travels, that flying, or discovering Fear
before a fierce Animal, is a certain Way to make it pursue or attack you, so
I resolved in this dangerous Juncture to shew no manner of Concern. I
walked with Intrepidity five or six times before the very Head of the Cat,
and came within half a Yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if
she were more afraid of me: I had less Apprehension concerning the Dogs,
whereof three or four came into the Room, as it is usual in Farmers'
Houses; one of which was a Mastiff, equal in Bulk to four Elephants, and a
Greyhound, somewhat taller than the Mastiff, but not so large.
When Dinner was almost done, the Nurse came in with a Child of a Year
old in her Arms, who immediately spied me, and began a Squall that you
might have heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual Oratory
of Infants, to get me for a Play-thing. The Mother out of pure Indulgence
took me up, and put me towards the Child, who presently seized me by the
Middle, and got my Head in his Mouth, where I roared so loud that the
Urchin was frightened, and let me drop, and I should infallibly have broke
my Neck if the Mother had not held her Apron under me. The Nurse to
quiet her Babe made use of a Rattle, which was a kind of hollow Vessel
filled with great Stones, and fastned by a Cable to the Child's Wast: But all
in vain, so that she was forced to apply the last Remedy, by giving it suck. I
must confess no Object ever disgusted me so much as the sight of her
monstrous Breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give
the curious Reader an Idea of its Bulk, Shape and Colour. It stood
prominent six Foot, and could not be less than sixteen in Circumference.
The Nipple was about half the Bigness of my Head, and the Hew both of
that and the Dug so varified with Spots, Pimples and Freckles, that nothing
could appear more nauseous: For I had a near sight of her, she sitting down
the more conveniently to give Suck, and I standing on the Table. This made
me reflect upon the fair skins of our English Ladies, who appear so
beautiful to us, only because they are of our own Size, and their Defects
not to be seen but through a Magnifying-glass, where we find by
Experiment that the smoothest and whitest Skins look rough and coarse,
and ill coloured.
I Remember when I was at Lilliput, the Complexion of those diminutive
People appeared to me the fairest in the World; and talking upon this
Subject with a Person of Learning there, who was an intimate Friend of
mine, he said that my Face appeared much fairer and smoother when he
looked on me from the Ground, than it did upon a nearer View when I
took him up in my Hand, and brought him close, which he confessed was at
first a very shocking Sight. He said he could discover great Holes in my
Skin; that the Stumps of my Beard were ten times stronger than the Bristles
of a Boar, and my Complexion made up of several Colours altogether
disagreeable: Although I must beg leave to say for my self, that I am as fair
as most of my Sex and Country, and very little sun-burnt by all my
Travels. On the other Side, discoursing of the Ladies in that Emperor's
Court, he used to tell me, one had Freckles, another too wide a Mouth, a
third too large a Nose, nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess
this Reflection was obvious enough; which however I could not forbear,
lest the Reader might think those vast Creatures were actually deformed:
For I must do them Justice to say they are a comely Race of People; and
particularly the Features of my Master's Countenance, although he were
but a Farmer, when I beheld him from the Height of sixty Foot, appeared
very well proportioned.
When Dinner was done, my Master went out to his Labourers, and as I
could discover by his Voice and Gesture, gave his Wife a strict Charge to
take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which my
Mistress perceiving, she put me on her own Bed, and covered me with a
clean white Handkerchief, larger and coarser than the Main-sail of a Man
of War.
I slept about two Hours, and dreamed I was at home with my Wife and
Children, which aggravated my Sorrows when I awakened and found
myself alone in a vast Room, between two and three hundred Foot wide,
and above two hundred high, lying in a Bed twenty Yards wide. My
Mistress was gone about her household Affairs, and had locked me in. The
Bed was eight Yards from the Floor. Some natural Necessities required me
to get down; I durst not presume to call, and if I had, it would have been in
vain, with such a Voice as mine, at so great a Distance from the Room
where I lay to the Kitchen where the Family kept. While I was under these
Circumstances, two Rats crept up the Curtains, and ran smelling backwards
and forwards on the Bed. One of them came up almost to my Face,
whereupon I rose in a Fright, and drew out my Hanger to defend my self.
These horrible Animals had the Boldness to attack me on both Sides, and
one of them held his Fore-feet at my Collar; but I had the good Fortune to
rip up his Belly before he could do me any Mischief. He fell down at my
Feet, and the other, seeing the Fate of his Comrade, made his Escape, but
not without one good Wound on the Back, which I gave him as he fled, and
made the Blood run trickling from him. After this Exploit, I walked gently
to and fro on the Bed, to recover my Breath and Loss of Spirits. These
Creatures were of the Size of a large Mastiff, but infinitely more nimble
and fierce; so that if I had taken off my Belt before I went to sleep, I must
have infallibly been torn to Pieces and devoured. I measured the Tail of the
dead Rat, and found it to be two Yards long, wanting an Inch; but it went
against my Stomach to drag the Carcass off the Bed, where it lay still
bleeding; I observed it had yet some Life, but with a strong Slash cross the
Neck, I thoroughly dispatched it.
Soon after my Mistress came into the Room, who seeing me all Bloody, ran
and took me up in her Hand. I pointed to the dead Rat, smiling and making
other Signs to shew I was not hurt, whereat she was extremely rejoyced,
calling the Maid to take up the dead Rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it
out of the Window. Then she set me on a Table, where I shewed her my
Hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the Lappet of my Coat, returned it to
the Scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one Thing, which another
could not do for me, and therefore endeavored to make my Mistress
understand that I desired to be set down on the Floor; which after she had
done, my Bashfulness would not suffer me to express myself farther than
by pointing to the Door, and bowing several Times. The good Woman with
much Difficulty at last perceived what I would be at, and taking me up
again in her Hand, walked into the Garden, where she set me down. I went
on one Side about two Hundred Yards, and beckoning to her not to look or
to follow me, I hid myself between two Leaves of sorrel and there
discharged the Necessities of Nature.
I hope the gentle Reader will excuse me for dwelling on these and the like
Particulars; which however insignificant they may appear to grovelling
vulgar Minds, yet will certainly help a Philosopher to enlarge his Thoughts
and Imagination, and apply them to the Benefit of publick as well as private
Life, which was my sole Design in presenting this and other Accounts of
my Travels to the World; wherein I have been chiefly studious of Truth,
without affecting any Ornaments of Learning or of Style. But the whole
Scene of this Voyage made so strong an Impression on my Mind, and is so
deeply fixed in my Memory, that in committing it to Paper, I did not omit
one material Circumstance: However, upon a strict Review, I blotted out
several Passages of less Moment which were in my first Copy, for fear of
being censured as tedious and trifling, whereof Travellers are often,
perhaps not without Justice, accused.
CHAPTER II.
A Description of the Farmer's Daughter. The Author carried to a Market-
Town, and then to the Metropolis. The Particulars of his Journey.
My Mistress had a Daughter of nine Years old, a Child of towardly Parts
for her Age, very dextrous at her Needle, and skilful in dressing her Baby.
Her Mother and she contrived to fit up the Baby's Cradle for me against
Night: The Cradle was put into a small Drawer of a Cabinet, and the
Drawer placed upon a hanging Shelf for fear of the Rats. This was my Bed
all the Time I stayed with those People, though made more convenient by
Degrees, as I began to learn their Language, and make my Wants known.
This young Girl was so handy, that after I had once or twice pulled off my
Cloaths before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though I never
gave her that Trouble when she would let me do either my self. She made
me seven Shirts, and some other Linnen, of as fine Cloth as could be got,
which indeed was coarser than Sackcloth; and these she constantly washed
for me with her own Hands. She was likewise my School-Mistress to teach
me the Language: When I pointed to any thing, she told me the Name of it
in her own Tongue, so that in a few Days I was able to call for whatever I
had a mind to. She was very good natured, and not above forty Foot high,
being little for her Age. She gave me the Name of Grildrig, which the
Family took up, and afterwards the whole Kingdom. The Word imports
what the Latins call Nanunculus, the Italians Homunceletino, and the
English Mannikin. To her I chiefly owe my Preservation in that Country:
We never parted while I was there; I called her my Glumdalclitch, or little
Nurse: And I should be guilty of great Ingratitute if I omitted this
honourable Mention of her Care and Affection towards me, which I
heartily wish it lay in my Power to requite as she deserves, instead of being
the innocent but unhappy Instrument of her Disgrace, as I have too much
Reason to fear.
It now began to be known and talked of in the Neighbourhood, that my
Master had found a strange Animal in the Fields, about the Bigness of a
Splacknuck, but exactly shaped in every Part like a human Creature; which
it likewise imitated in all its Actions; seemed to speak in a little Language
of its own, had already learned several Words of theirs, went erect upon
two Legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do
whatever it was bid, had the finest Limbs in the World, and a Complexion
fairer than a Nobleman's Daughter of three Years old. Another Farmer
who lived hard by, and was a particular Friend of my Master, came on a
Visit on Purpose to inquire into the Truth of this Story. I was immediately
produced, and placed upon a Table, where I walked as I was commanded,
drew my Hanger, put it up again, made my Reverence to my Master's
Guest, asked him in his own Language how he did, and told him he was
welcome, just as my little Nurse had instructed me. This Man, who was old
and dimsighted, put on his Spectacles to behold me better, at which I could
not forbear laughing very heartily, for his Eyes appeared like the Full-
Moon shining into a Chamber at two Windows. Our People, who
discovered the Cause of my Mirth, bore me Company in Laughing, at
which the old Fellow was Fool enough to be angry and out of Countenance.
He had the Character of a great Miser; and to my Misfortune he well
deserved it by the cursed Advice he gave my Master to shew me as a Sight
upon a Market-Day in the next Town, which was half an Hour's Riding,
about two and twenty miles from our House. I guessed there was some
Mischief contriving, when I observed my Master and his Friend whispering
long together, sometimes pointing at me; and my Fears made me fancy that
I overheard and understood some of their Words. But the next Morning
Glumdalclitch, my little Nurse, told me the whole Matter, which she had
cunningly picked out from her Mother. The poor Girl laid me on her
Bosom, and fell a weeping with Shame and Grief. She apprehended some
Mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar Folks, who might squeeze
me to Death, or break one of my Limbs by taking me in their Hands. She
had also observed how modest I was in my Nature, how nicely I regarded
my Honour, and what an Indignity I should conceive it to be exposed for
Money as a publick Spectacle to the meanest of the People. She said, her
Papa and Mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now she
found they meant to serve her as they did last Year, when they pretended to
give her a Lamb; and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a Butcher. For my
own Part, I may truly affirm that I was less concerned than my Nurse. I
had a strong Hope, which never left me, that I should one Day recover my
Liberty; and as to the ignominy of being carried about for a Monster, I
considered my self to be a perfect Stranger in the Country; and that such a
Misfortune could never be charged upon me as a Reproach, if ever I should
return to England; since the King of Great Britain himself, in my
Condition, must have undergone the same Distress.
My Master, pursuant to the Advice of his Friend, carried me in a Box the
next Market-Day to the neighboring Town; and took along with him his
little Daughter, my Nurse, upon a Pillion behind him. The Box was close
on every Side, with a little Door for me to go in and out, and a few
Gimlet-holes to let in Air. The Girl had been so careful to put the Quilt of
her Baby's Bed into it, for me to lye down on. However, I was terribly
shaken and discomposed in this Journey, though it were but of half an
Hour. For the Horse went about forty Foot at every Step, and trotted so
high, that the Agitation was equal to the rising and falling of a Ship in a
great Storm, but much more frequent: Our Journey was somewhat further
than from London to St. Albans. My Master alighted at an Inn which he
used to frequent; and after consulting a while with the Inn-keeper, and
making some necessary Preparations, he hired the Grultrud, or Cryer, to
give Notice through the Town of a strange Creature to be seen at the Sign
of the Green Eagle, not so big as a Splacknuck (an Animal in that Country
very finely shaped, about six Foot long) and in every Part of the Body
resembling an human Creature, could speak several Words, and perform
an Hundred diverting Tricks.
I was placed upon a Table in the largest Room of the Inn, which might be
near three Hundred Foot square. My little Nurse stood on a low Stool close
to the Table, to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My Master, to
avoid a Croud, would suffer only Thirty People at a Time to see me. I
walked about on the Table as the Girl commanded; she asked me Questions
as far as she knew my Understanding of the Language reached, and I
answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several Times to the
Company, paid my humble Respects, said they were welcome, and used
some other Speeches I had been taught. I took up a Thimble filled with
Liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a Cup, and drank their
Health. I drew out my Hanger, and flourished it after the Manner of
Fencers in England. My Nurse gave me part of a Straw, which I exercised
as a Pike, having learned the Art in my Youth. I was that Day shewn to
twelve Sets of Company; and as often forced to go over again with the
same Fopperies, till I was half dead with Weariness and Vexation. For
those who had seen me made such wonderful Reports, that the People were
ready to break down the Doors to come in. My Master for his own Interest
would not suffer any one to touch me except my Nurse; and, to prevent
Danger, Benches were set around the Table at such a Distance, as put me
out of every Body's Reach. However, an unlucky School-Boy aimed a
Hazel-Nut directly at my Head, which very narrowly missed me; otherwise,
it came with so much Violence, that it would have infallibly knocked out
my Brains, for it was almost as large as a small Pumpion: But I had the
Satisfaction to see the young Rogue well beaten, and turned out of the
Room.
My Master gave publick Notice that he would shew me again the next
Market- Day: And in the mean time he prepared a more convenient Vehicle
for me, which he had Reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first
Journey, and with entertaining Company for eight Hours together, that I
could hardly stand upon my Legs, or speak a Word. It was at least three
Days before I recovered my Strength; and that I might have no rest at
Home, all the neighbouring Gentlemen from an Hundred Miles round,
hearing of my Fame, came to see me at my Master's own House. There
could not be fewer than thirty Persons with their Wives and Children; (for
the Country is very populous); and my Master demanded the Rate of a full
Room whenever he shewed me at Home, although it were only to a single
Family. So that for some Time I had but little Ease every Day of the Week
(except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath) although I were not carried to
the Town.
My Master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carry me
to the most considerable Cities of the Kingdom. Having therefore provided
himself with all Things necessary for a long Journey, and settled his
Affairs at Home; he took Leave of his Wife, and upon the 17th of August
1703, about two Months after my Arrival, we set out for the Metropolis,
situated near the Middle of that Empire, and about three Thousand Miles
distance from our House: My Master made his Daughter Glumdalclitch ride
behind him. She carried me on her lap in a Box tied about her Waist. The
Girl had lined it on all Sides with the softest Cloth she could get, well
quilted underneath; furnished it with her Baby's Bed, provided me with
Linnen and other Necessaries, and made everything as convenient as she
could. We had no other Company but a Boy of the House, who rode after
us with the Luggage.
My Master's Design was to shew me in all the Towns by the Way, and to
step out of the Road for Fifty or an Hundred Miles, to any Village or
Person of Quality's House where he might expect Custom. We made easy
Journies of not above seven or eight Score Miles a Day: For Glumdalclitch,
on Purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with the trotting of the
Horse. She often took me out of my Box at my own Desire, to give me Air,
and shew me the Country; but always held me fast by Leading-strings. We
passed over five or six Rivers many Degrees broader and deeper than the
Nile or the Ganges; and there was hardly a Rivulet so small as the Thames
at London-Bridge. We were ten Weeks in our Journey, and I was shewn in
Eighteen large Towns besides many Villages and private Families.
On the 26th day of October, we arrived at the Metropolis, called in their
Language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the Universe. My Master took a
Lodging in the principal Street of the City, not far from the Royal Palace,
and put out Bills in the usual Form, containing an exact Description of my
Person and Parts. He hired a large Room between three and four Hundred
Foot wide. He provided a Table sixty Foot in Diameter, upon which I was
to act my Part; and palisadoed it round three Foot from the Edge, and as
many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shewn ten Times a Day to the
Wonder and Satisfaction of all People. I could now speak the Language
tolerably well; and perfectly understood every Word that was spoken to
me. Besides, I had learned their Alphabet, and could make a shift to explain
a Sentence here and there; for Glumdalclitch had been my Instructer while
we were at home, and at leisure Hours during our Journey. She carried a
little Book in her Pocket, not much larger than a Sanson's Atlas; it was a
common Treatise for the use of young Girls, giving a short Account of
their Religion; out of this she taught me my Letters, and interpreted the
Words.
CHAPTER III.
The Author sent for to Court. The Queen buys him of his Master the
Farmer, and presents him to the King. He disputes with his Majesty's great
Scholars. An Apartment at Court provided for the Author. He is in high
Favour with the Queen. He stands up for the Honour of his own Country.
His Quarrels with the Queen's Dwarf.
The frequent Labours I underwent every Day made in a few Weeks a very
considerable change in my Health: The more my Master got by me, the
more unsatiable he grew. I had quite lost my Stomach, and was almost
reduced to a Skeleton. The Farmer observed it, and concluding I soon must
dye, resolved to make as good a Hand of me as he could. While he was thus
reasoning and resolving with himself, a Slardral, or Gentleman Usher came
from Court, commanding my Master to carry me immediately thither for
the Diversion of the Queen and her Ladies. Some of the latter had already
been to see me, and reported strange Things of my Beauty, Behaviour, and
good Sense. Her Majesty and those who attended her were beyond Measure
delighted with my Demeanor. I fell on my Knees, and begged the Honour
of kissing her Imperial foot; but this gracious Princess held out her little
Finger towards me (after I was set on a Table) which I embraced in both
my Arms, and put the tip of it, with the utmost respect, to my Lip. She
made me some general Questions about my Country and my Travels, which
I answer'd as distinctly and in as few Words as I could. She asked whether
I would be content to live at Court. I bowed down to the board of the
Table, and humbly answered, that I was my Master's Slave, but if I were at
my own Disposal, I should be proud to devote my Life to her Majesty's
Service. She then asked my Master whether he were willing to sell me at a
good Price. He who apprehended I could not live a Month, was ready
enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of Gold, which
were ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness of eight
hundred Moydores; but, allowing for the proportion of all Things between
that Country and Europe, and the high Price of Gold among them, was
hardly so great a sum as a thousand Guineas would be in England. I then
said to the Queen, since I was now her Majesty's most humble Creature and
Vassal, I must beg the favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended
me with so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might
be admitted into her Service, and continue to be my Nurse and Instructor.
Her Majesty agreed to my Petition, and easily got the Farmer's consent,
who was glad enough to have his Daughter preferred at Court: and the
poor Girl herself was not able to hide her Joy: My late Master withdrew,
bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good Service; to which
I replied not a Word, only making him a slight bow.
The Queen observed my coldness, and when the Farmer was gone out of
the Apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her Majesty that I
owed no other Obligation to my late Master, than his not dashing out the
Brains of a poor harmless Creature found by chance in his Field; which
Obligation was amply recompensed by the gain he had made in shewing me
through half the Kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for. That the
Life I had since led, was laborious enough to kill an Animal of ten times
my Strength. That my Health was much impaired by the continual
drudgery of entertaining the Rabble every hour of the Day, and that if my
Master had not thought my Life in Danger, her Majesty perhaps would not
have got so cheap a Bargain. But as I was out of all Fear of being ill treated
under the Protection of so great and good an Empress, the Ornament of
Nature, the Darling of the World, the Delight of her Subjects, the Phoenix
of the Creation; so, I hoped my late Master's apprehensions would appear
to be groundless, for I already found my Spirits to revive by the Influence
of her most August Presence.
This was the sum of my Speech, delivered with great Improprieties and
Hesitation; the latter part was altogether framed in the Style peculiar to that
People, whereof I learned some Phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was
carrying me to Court.
The Queen giving great Allowance for my Defectiveness in speaking, was
however surprised at so much Wit and good Sense in so diminutive an
Animal. She took me in her own Hands, and carried me to the King, who
was then retired to his Cabinet. His Majesty, a Prince of much Gravity, and
austere Countenance, not well observing my Shape at first View, asked the
Queen after a cold manner, how long it was since she grew fond of a
Splacknuck; for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my Breast in
her Majesty's right Hand. But this Princess, who has an infinite deal of Wit
and Humour, set me gently on my Feet upon the Scrutore, and commanded
me to give his Majesty an Account of my self, which I did in a very few
Words; and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the Cabinet door, and could not
endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had
passed from my Arrival at her Father's House.
The King, although he be as learned a Person as any in his Dominions, and
had been educated in the Study of Philosophy, and particularly
Mathematicks; yet when he observed my Shape exactly, and saw me walk
erect, before I began to speak, conceived I might be a Piece of Clock-work,
(which is in that Country arrived to a very great Perfection), contrived by
some ingenious Artist. But when he heard my Voice, and found what I
delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his Astonishment.
He was by no means satisfied with the Relation I gave him of the Manner I
came into his Kingdom, but thought it a Story concerted between
Glumdalclitch and her Father, who had taught me a Set of Words to make
me sell at a higher Price. Upon this Imagination he put several other
Questions to me, and still received rational Answers, no otherwise
defective than by a foreign Accent, and an imperfect Knowledge in the
Language, with some rustick Phrases which I had learned at the Farmer's
House, and did not suit the polite Stile of a Court.
His Majesty sent for three great Scholars who were then in their Weekly
waiting (according to the Custom in that Country). These Gentlemen, after
they had a while examined my Shape with much Nicety, were of different
Opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced
according to the regular Laws of Nature, because I was not framed with a
Capacity of preserving my Life, either by Swiftness, or climbing of Trees,
or digging Holes in the Earth. They observed by my Teeth, which they
viewed with great Exactness, that I was a carnivorous Animal; yet most
Quadrupeds being an Overmatch for me, and Field-Mice, with some
others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to support
my self, unless I fed upon Snails and other Insects, which they offered, by
many learned Arguments, to evince that I could not possibly do. One of
these Virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an Embrio, or abortive
Birth. But this Opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my
Limbs to be perfect and finished, and that I had lived several Years, as it
was manifested from my Beard, the Stumps whereof they plainly
discovered through a Magnifying-Glass. They would not allow me to be a
Dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all Degrees of Comparison; for
the Queen's favourite Dwarf, the smallest ever known in that Kingdom,
was near thirty Foot high. After much Debate, they concluded unanimously
that I was only Relplum Scalcath, which is interpreted literally, Lusus
Natur¾; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern Philosophy of
Europe, whose Professors, disdaining the old Evasion of occult Causes,
whereby the followers of Artistotle endeavor in vain to disguise their
Ignorance, have invented this wonderful Solution of all Difficulties, to the
unspeakable Advancement of human Knowledge.
After this decisive Conclusion, I entreated to be heard a Word or two. I
applied my self to the King, and assured his Majesty that I came from a
Country which abounded with several Millions of both Sexes, and of my
own Stature; where the Animals, Trees, and Houses were all in Proportion,
and where by consequence I might be as able to defend my self, and to find
Sustenance, as any of his Majesty's Subjects could do here; which I took for
a full Answer to those Gentlemens Arguments. To this they only replied
with a Smile of Contempt, saying that the Farmer had instructed me very
well in my Lesson. The King, who had a much better Understanding,
dismissing his learned Men, sent for the Farmer, who by good Fortune was
not yet gone out of Town. Having therefore first examined him privately,
and then confronted him with me and the young Girl, his Majesty began to
think that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the Queen to
order that a particular Care should be taken of me, and was of Opinion that
Glumdalclitch should still continue in her Office of tending me, because he
observed we had a great Affection for each other. A convenient Apartment
was provided for her at Court; she had a sort of Governess appointed to
take care of her Education, a Maid to dress her, and two other Servants for
menial Offices; but the Care of me was wholly appropriated to her self.
The Queen commanded her own Cabinet-maker to contrive a Box that
might serve me for a Bed-chamber, after the Model that Glumdalclitch and
I should agree upon. This Man was a most ingenious Artist, and according
to my Directions, in three Weeks finished for me a wooden Chamber of
sixteen Foot square, and twelve high, with Sash-windows, a Door, and two
Closets, like a London Bed-chamber. The Board that made the Cieling was
to be lifted up and down by two Hinges, to put in a Bed ready furnished by
her Majesty's Upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every Day to air,
made it with her own Hands, and letting it down at Night, locked up the
Roof over me. A nice Workman, who was famous for little Curiosities,
undertook to make me two Chairs, with Backs and Frames, of a Substance
not unlike Ivory, and two Tables, with a Cabinet to put my Things in. The
Room was quilted on all Sides, as well as the Floor and the Cieling, to
prevent any Accident from the Carelessness of those who carried me, and
to break the Force of a Jolt when I went in a Coach. I desired a Lock for
my Door, to prevent Rats and Mice from coming in: The Smith, after
several Attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I
have known a larger at the Gate of a Gentleman's House in England. I
made a shift to keep the Key in a Pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch
might lose it. The Queen likewise ordered the thinnest Silks that could be
gotten, to make me Cloaths, not much thicker than an English Blanket,
very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the
Fashion of the Kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly the
Chinese, and are a very grave and decent Habit.
The Queen became so fond of my Company, that she could not dine
without me. I had a Table placed upon the same at which her Majesty eat,
just at her left Elbow, and a Chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood upon a
Stool on the Floor, near my Table, to assist and take care of me. I had an
entire Set of silver Dishes and Plates, and other Necessaries, which in
Proportion to those of the Queen, were not much bigger than what I have
seen of the same kind in a London Toys-shop, for the Furniture of a Baby-
house: These my little Nurse kept in her Pocket in a silver Box, and gave
me at Meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them her self. No Person
dined with the Queen but the two Princesses Royal, the elder sixteen Years
old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a Month. Her Majesty used to
put a Bit of Meat upon one of my Dishes, out of which I carved for my
self; and her Diversion was to see me eat in Miniature. For the Queen (who
had indeed but a weak Stomach) took up at one Mouthful as much as a
dozen English Farmers could eat at a Meal, which to me was for some time
a very nauseous sight. She would craunch the Wing of a Lark, Bones and
all, between her Teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full
grown Turkey; and put a Bit of Bread into her mouth, as big as two
twelve-penny Loaves. She drank, out of a golden Cup, above a Hogshead at
a Draught. Her Knives were twice as long as a Scythe, set strait upon the
Handle. The Spoons, Forks, and other Instruments were all in the same
Proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me out of curiosity to
see some of the Tables at Court, where ten or a dozen of these enormous
Knives and Forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then,
beheld so terrible a Sight.
It is the Custom that every Wednesday (which, as I have before observed,
was their Sabbath) the King and Queen, with the Royal Issue of both Sexes,
dine together in the Apartment of his Majesty, to whom I was now become
a great Favourite; and at these times my little Chair and Table were placed
at his left Hand, before one of the Saltsellers. This Prince took a Pleasure
in conversing with me, enquiring into the Manners, Religion, Laws,
Government, and Learning of Europe; wherein I gave him the best
Account I was able. His Apprehension was so clear, and his Judgment so
exact, that he made very wise Reflexions and Observations upon all I said.
But, I confess, that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my
own beloved Country, of our Trade, and Wars by Sea and Land, of our
Schisms in Religion, and Parties in the State; the Prejudices of his
Education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his
Right Hand, and stroaking me gently with the other, after an hearty Fit of
laughing, asked me whether I were a Whig or a Tory. Then turning to his
first Minister, who waited behind him with a white Staff, near as tall as the
main-mast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed how contemptible a thing
was human Grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive Insects
as I: And yet, said he, I dare engage, these Creatures have their Titles and
Distinctions of Honour, they contrive little Nests and Burrows, that they
call Houses and Cities; they make a Figure in Dress and Equipage; they
love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray. And thus he
continued on, while my Colour came and went several times with
Indignation to hear our noble Country, the Mistress of Arts and Arms, the
Scourge of France, the Arbitress of Europe, the Seat of Virtue, Piety,
Honour and Truth, the Pride and Envy of the World, so contemptuously
treated.
But as I was not in a Condition to resent injuries, so, upon mature
Thoughts, I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For, after having
been accustomed several Months to the Sight and Converse of this People,
and observed every Object upon which I cast mine Eyes to be of
proportionable Magnitude, the Horror I had first conceived from their
Bulk and Aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a Company
of English Lords and Ladies in their Finery and Birth-day Cloaths, acting
their several Parts in the most courtly manner, of strutting, and bowing,
and prating; to say the Truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh
as much at them as the King and his Grandees did at me. Neither indeed
could I forbear smiling at my self, when the Queen used to place me upon
her Hand towards a Looking-glass, by which both our Persons appeared
before me in full View together; and there could nothing be more
ridiculous than the Comparison: So that I really began to imagine myself
Dwindled many Degrees below my usual Size.
Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the Queen's Dwarf, who
being of the lowest Stature that was ever that Country (for I verily think he
was not thirty Foot high) became insolent at seeing a Creature so much
beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he
passed by me in the Queen's Antichamber, while I was standing on some
Table talking with the Lords or Ladies of the Court, and he seldom failed
of a small Word or two upon my Littleness; against which I could only
revenge my self by calling him Brother, challenging him to wrestle, and
such Repartees as are usual in the Mouths of Court Pages. One Day at
Dinner this malicious little Cubb was so nettled with something I had said
to him, that raising himself upon the Frame of her Majesty's Chair, he took
me up by the Middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let
me drop into a large silver Bowl of Cream, and then ran away as fast as he
could. I fell over Head and Ears, and if I had not been a good Swimmer, it
might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that Instant
happened to be at the other End of the Room, and the Queen was in such a
Fright that she wanted Presence of Mind to assist me. But my little Nurse
ran to my Relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a Quart of
Cream. I was put to Bed; however, I received no other Damage than the
Loss of a Suit of Cloaths, which was utterly spoiled. The Dwarf was
soundly whipped, and as a farther Punishment, forced to drink up the Bowl
of Cream, into which he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to
Favour; For soon after the Queen bestowed him to a Lady of high Quality,
so that I saw him no more, to my very great Satisfaction; for I could not
tell to what Extremity such a malicious Urchin might have carried his
Resentment.
He had before served me a scurvy Trick, which set the Queen a laughing,
although at the same Time she was heartily vexed, and would have
immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede.
Her Majesty had taken a Marrow-bone upon her plate, and after knocking
out the Marrow, placed the Bone again in the Dish erect as it stood before;
the Dwarf watching his Opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the
Sideboard, mounted upon the Stool she stood on to take care of me at
Meals, took me up in both Hands, and squeezing my Legs together, wedged
them into the Marrow-bone above my Wast, where I stuck for some time,
and made a very ridiculous Figure. I believe it was near a Minute before
any one knew what was become of me, for I thought it below me to cry
out. But, as Princes seldom get their Meat hot, my Legs were not scalded,
only my Stockings and Breeches in a sad Condition. The Dwarf, at my
Entreaty, had no other Punishment than a sound whipping.
I was frequently rallied by the Queen upon account of my Fearfulness, and
she used to ask me whether the People of my Country were as great
Cowards as my self? The Occasion was this. The Kingdom is much
pestered with Flies in Summer; and these odious Insects, each of them as
big as a Dunstable Lark, hardly gave me any Rest while I sat at Dinner,
with their continual humming and buzzing about mine Ears. They would
sometimes alight upon my Victuals, and leave their loathsome Excrement
or Spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the Natives
of that Country, whose large Opticks were not so acute as mine in viewing
smaller Objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my Nose or Forehead,
where they stung me to the Quick, smelling very offensively, and I could
easily trace that viscous Matter, which our Naturalists tell us enables those
Creatures to walk with their Feet upwards upon a Cieling. I had much ado
to defend my self against these detestable Animals, and could not forbear
starting when they came on my Face. It was the common Practice of the
Dwarf to catch a number of these Insects in his Hand, as School-boys do
among us, and let them out suddenly under my Nose on purpose to frighten
me, and divert the Queen. My Remedy was to cut them in Pieces with my
Knife as they flew in the Air, wherein my Dexterity was much admired.
I remember one Morning when Glumdalclitch had set me in my Box upon
a Window, as she usually did in fair Days to give me Air (for I durst not
venture to let the Box be hung on a Nail out of the Window, as we do with
Cages in England) after I had lifted up one of my Sashes, and sat down at
my Table to eat a Piece of Sweet Cake for my Breakfast, above twenty
Wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the Room, humming louder
than the Drones of as many Bagpipes. Some of them seized my Cake, and
carried it piece-meal away, others flew about my Head and Face,
confounding me with the Noise, and putting me in the utmost terror of
their Stings. However I had the Courage to rise and draw my Hanger, and
attack them in the Air. I dispatched four of them, but the rest got away,
and I presently shut my Window. These Insects were as large as Partridges;
I took out their Stings, found them an Inch and a half long, and as sharp as
Needles. I carefully preserved them all, and having since shown them with
some other Curiosities in several parts of Europe; upon my Return to
England I gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for
my self.
CHAPTER IV.
The Country described. A Proposal for Correcting modern Maps. The
King's Palace, and some Account of the Metropolis. The Author's way of
Travelling. The chief Temple described.
I NOW intend to give the Reader a short Description of this Country, as
far as I travelled in it, which was not above two thousand Miles round
Lorbrulgrud the Metropolis. For, the Queen, whom I always attended,
never went further when she accompanied the King in his Progresses, and
there staid till his Majesty returned from viewing his Frontiers. The whole
Extent of this Prince's Dominions reacheth about six thousand Miles in
Length, and from three to five in Breadth. From whence I cannot but
conclude that our Geographers of Europe are in a great Error, by
supposing nothing but Sea between Japan and California; for it was ever
my Opinion, that there must be a Balance of Earth to counterpoise the
great Continent of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their Maps
and Charts, by joining this vast Tract of Land to the North-west Parts of
America, wherein I shall be ready to lend them my Assistance.
The Kingdom is a Peninsula, terminated to the North-east by a Ridge of
Mountains thirty Miles high, which are altogether impassable by reason of
the Volcanoes upon the Tops. Neither do the most Learned know what sort
of Mortals inhabit beyond those Mountains, or whether they be inhabited at
all. On the three other Sides it is bounded by the Ocean. There is not one
Sea-port in the whole Kingdom, and those Parts of the Coasts into which
the Rivers issue, are so full of pointed Rocks, and the Sea generally so
rough, that there is no venturing with the smallest of their Boats; so that
these People are wholly excluded from any Commerce with the rest of the
World. But the large Rivers are full of Vessels, and abound with excellent
Fish; for they seldom get any from the Sea, because the Sea-fish are of the
same Size with those in Europe, and consequently not worth catching;
whereby it is manifest, that Nature in the Production of Plants and Animals
of so extraordinary a Bulk, is wholly confined to this Continent; of which I
leave the Reasons to be determined by Philosophers. However, now and
then they take a Whale that happens to be dashed against the Rocks, which
the common People feed on heartily. These Whales I have known so large
that a Man could hardly carry one upon his Shoulders; and sometimes for
Curiosity they are brought in Hampers to Lorbrulgrud: I saw one of them
in a Dish at the King's Table, which passed for a Rarity, but I did not
observe he was fond of it; for I think indeed the Bigness disgusted him,
although I have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland.
The Country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty one Cities, near an
hundred walled Towns, and a great Number of Villages. To satisfy my
curious Reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This City
stands upon almost two equal Parts on each Side the River that passes
through. It contains above eighty thousand Houses, and about six hundred
thousand Inhabitants. It is in Length three Glonglungs (which make about
fifty four English Miles) and two and a half in Breadth, as I measured it
my self in the Royal Map made by the King's Order, which was laid on the
Ground on purpose for me, and extended an hundred Feet; I paced the
Diameter and Circumference several times Bare-foot, and computing by
the Scale, measured it pretty exactly.
The King's Palace is no regular Edifice, but a Heap of Buildings about
seven Miles round: The chief Rooms are generally two hundred and forty
Foot high, and broad and long in Proportion. A Coach was allowed to
Glumdalclitch and me, wherein her Governess frequently took her out to
see the Town, or go among the Shops; and I was always of the Party,
carried in my Box; although the Girl at my own Desire would often take
me out, and hold me in her Hand, that I might more conveniently view the
Houses and the People, as we passed along the Streets. I reckoned our
Coach to be about a Square of Westminster-Hall, but not altogether so high;
however, I cannot be very exact. One Day the Governess ordered our
Coachman to stop at several Shops, where the Beggars watching their
Opportunity, crouded to the Sides of the Coach, and gave me the most
horrible Spectacles that ever an English Eye beheld. There was a Woman
with a Cancer in her Breast, swelled to a monstrous Size, full of Holes, in
two or three of which I could have easily crept, and covered my whole
Body. There was a Fellow with a wen in his Neck, larger than five Wool-
packs; and another with a couple of wooden Legs, each about twenty Foot
high. But the most hateful Sight of all was the Lice crawling on their
Cloaths: I could see distinctly the Limbs of these Vermin with my naked
Eye, much better than those of an European Louse through a Microscope,
and their Snouts with which they rooted like Swine. They were the first I
had ever beheld, and I should have been curious enough to dissect one of
them, if I had proper Instruments (which I unluckily left behind me in the
Ship) although indeed the Sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly turned my
Stomach.
Besides the large Box in which I was usually carried, the Queen ordered a
smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve Foot Square, and ten high,
for the Convenience of Travelling; because the other was somewhat too
large for Glumdalclitch's Lap, and cumbersom in the Coach; it was made
by the same Artist, whom I directed in the whole Contrivance. This
travelling Closet was an exact Square with a Window in the Middle of three
of the Squares, and each Window was latticed with Iron Wire on the
outside, to prevent Accidents in long Journeys. On the fourth Side, which
had no Window, two strong Staples were fixed, through which the Person
that carried me, when I had a Mind to be on Horseback, put in a Leathern
Belt, and buckled it about his Waist. This was always the Office of some
grave trusty Servant in whom I could confide, whether I attended the King
and Queen in their Progresses, or were disposed to see the Gardens, or pay
a Visit to some great Lady or Minister of State in the Court, when
Glumdalclitch happened to be out of Order: for I soon began to be known
and esteemed among the greatest Officers, I suppose more upon Account of
their Majesties' Favour, than any Merit of my own. In Journeys, when I
was weary of the Coach, a Servant on Horseback would buckle my Box,
and place it on a Cushion before him; and there I had a full Prospect of the
Country on three Sides from my three Windows. I had in this Closet a
Field-Bed and a Hammock hung from the Cieling, two Chairs and a Table,
neatly screwed to the Floor, to prevent being tossed about by the Agitation
of the Horse or the Coach. And having been long used to Sea-Voyages,
those Motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much discompose
me.
Whenever I had a Mind to see the Town, it was always in my Travelling-
Closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her Lap in a kind of open Sedan, after
the Fashion of the Country, borne by four Men, and attended by two others
in the Queen's Livery. The People who had often heard of me, were very
curious to croud about the Sedan, and the Girl was complaisant enough to
make the Bearers stop, and to take me in her Hand that I might be more
conveniently seen.
I was very desirous to see the chief Temple, and particularly the Tower
belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the Kingdom.
Accordingly, one Day my Nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I
came back disappointed; for, Height is not above three thousand Foot,
reckoning from the Ground to the highest Pinnacle top; which allowing for
the Difference between the Size of those People, and us in Europe, is no
great matter for Admiration, nor at all equal in Proportion, (if I rightly
remember) to Salisbury Steeple. But, not to detract from a Nation to which
during my Life I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged; it must be
allowed, that whatever this famous Tower wants in Height, is amply made
up in Beauty and Strength. For the Walls are near an hundred Foot thick,
built of hewn Stone, whereof each is about forty Foot square, and adorned
on all Sides with Statues of Gods and Emperors cut in Marble larger than
the Life, placed in their several Niches. I measured a little Finger which
had fallen down from one of these Statues, and lay unperceived among
some Rubbish; and found it exactly four Foot and an Inch in Length.
Glumdalclitch wrapped it up in a Handkerchief, and carried it Home in her
Pocket to keep among other Trinkets, of which the Girl was very fond, as
Children at her Age usually are.
The King's Kitchen is indeed a noble Building, vaulted at Top, and about
six hundred Foot high. The great Oven is not so wide by ten Paces as the
Cupola at St. Paul's: For I measured the latter on purpose after my Return.
But if I should describe the Kitchen-grate, the prodigious Pots and Kettles,
the Joints of Meat turning on the Spits, with many other Particulars,
perhaps I should be hardly believed; at least a severe Critick would be apt
to think I enlarged a little, as Travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid
which Censure, I fear I have run too much into the other Extreme; and that
if this Treatise should happen to be translated into the Language of
Brobdingnag (which is the general Name of that Kingdom) and transmitted
thither; the King and his People would have Reason to complain; that I had
done them an Injury by a false and diminutive Representation.
His Majesty seldom keeps above six hundred Horses in his Stables: they are
generally from fifty four to sixty Foot high. But, when he goes abroad on
solemn Days, he is attended for State by a Militia Guard of five hundred
Horse, which indeed I thought was the most splendid Sight that could be
ever beheld, till I saw part of his Army in Battalia, whereof I shall find
another Occasion to speak.
CHAPTER V.
Several Adventured that happened to the Author. The Execution of a
Criminal. The Author shews his Skill in Navigation.
I SHOULD have lived happy enough in that Country, if my littleness had
not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome Accidents : some of
which I shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the
Gardens of the Court in my smaller Box, and would sometimes take me out
of it and hold me in her Hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before
the Dwarf left the Queen, he followed us one Day into those Gardens, and
my Nurse having set me down, he and I being close together, near some
Dwarf Apple Trees, I must needs shew my Wit by a silly Allusion between
him and the Trees, which happens to hold in their Language as it does in
ours. Whereupon, the malicious Rogue watching his Opportunity, when I
was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my Head, by which
a dozen Apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol Barrel, came
tumbling about my Ears; one of them hit me on the Back as I chanced to
stoop, and knocked me down flat on my Face, but I received no other Hurt,
and the Dwarf was pardoned at my Desire, because I had given the
Provocation.
Another day Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth Grass-plot to divert my
self while she walked at some distance with her Governess. In the meantime
there suddenly fell such a violent shower of Hail, that I was immediately by
the force of it struck to the Ground: And when I was down, the Hail-stones
gave me such cruel Bangs all over the Body, as if I had been pelted with
Tennis balls; however I made a shift to creep on all four, and shelter
myself by lying flat on my Face on the Lee-side of a Border of Lemon
Thyme, but so bruised from Head to Foot that I could not go abroad in ten
Days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because Nature in that
Country observing the same Proportion thro' all her Operations, a
hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large as one in Europe, which I
can assert upon Experience, having been so curious to weigh and measure
them.
But, a more dangerous Accident happened to me in the same Garden, when
my little Nurse believing she had put me in a secure Place, which I often
entreated her to do, that might enjoy my own Thoughts, and having left my
Box at Home to avoid the Trouble of carrying it, went to another part of
the Garden with her Governess and some Ladies of her acquaintance.
While she was absent and out of hearing, a small white Spaniel belonging to
one of the chief Gardiners, having got by Accident into the Garden,
happened to range near the Place where I lay. The Dog following the
Scent, came directly up, and taking me in his Mouth, ran strait to his
Master, wagging his Tail, and set me gently on the Ground. By good
Fortune he had been so well taught, that I was carried between his Teeth
without the least Hurt, or even tearing my Cloaths. But, the poor Gardiner,
who knew me well, and had a great Kindness for me, was in a terrible
Fright. He gently took me up in both his Hands, and asked me how I did;
but I was so amazed and out of Breath, that I could not speak a Word. In a
few Minutes I came to my self, and he carried me safe to my little Nurse,
who by this time had returned to the Place where she left me, and was in
cruel Agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when she called; she
severely reprimanded the Gardener on Account of his Dog. But, the Thing
was hushed up, and never known at Court; for the Girl was afraid of the
Queen's Anger; and truly as to my self, I thought it would not be for my
Reputation that such a Story should go about.
This Accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me
abroad for the future out of her Sight. I had been long afraid of this
Resolution; and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky
Adventures that happened in those Times when I was left by my self. Once
a Kite hovering over the Garden, made a Stoop at me, and if I had not
resolutely drawn my Hanger, and run under a thick Espalier, he would
have certainly carried me away in his Talons. Another time, walking to the
Top of a fresh Mole-hill, I fell to my Neck in the Hole through which that
Animal had cast up the Earth; and coined some Lye, not worth
remembering, to excuse my self for spoiling my Cloaths. I likewise broke
my right Shin against the Shell of a Snail, which I happened to stumble
over, as I was walking alone, and thinking on poor England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified, to observe in those
solitary Walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all afraid of
me; but would hop about within a Yard Distance, looking for Worms, and
other Food with as much Indifference and Security as if no Creature at all
were near them. I remember a Thrush had the Confidence to snatch out of
my Hand with his Bill a Piece of Cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me
for my Breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these Birds, they
would boldly turn against me, endeavoring to pick my Fingers, which I
durst not venture within their reach; and then they would hop back
unconcerned to hunt for Worms or Snails, as they did before. But, one Day
I took a thick Cudgel, and threw it with all my Strength so luckily at a
Linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by the Neck with both
my Hands, ran with him in Triumph to my Nurse. However, the Bird, who
had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave me so many Boxes with
his Wings on both Sides of my Head and Body, though I held him at Arms
Length, and was out of the Reach of his Claws, that I was twenty Times
thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our Servants, who
wrung off the Bird's Neck; and I had him next Day for Dinner, by the
Queen's Command. This Linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be
somewhat larger than an English Swan.
The Maids of Honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their Apartments, and
desired she would bring me along with her, on Purpose to have the
Pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked from
Top to Toe, and lay me at full Length in their Bosoms; wherewith I was
much disgusted; because, to say the Truth, a very offensive Smell came
from their Skins; which I do not mention or intend to the Disadvantage of
those excellent Ladies, for whom I have all Manner of Respect; but, I
conceive that my Sense was more acute in Proportion to my Littleness, and
that those illustrious Persons were no more disagreeable to their Lovers, or
to each other, than People of the same Quality are with us in England. And,
after all, I found their natural Smell was much more supportable than when
they used Perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot
forget that an intimate Friend of mine in Lilliput took the Freedom in a
warm Day, when I had used a good deal of Exercise, to complain of a
strong Smell about me, although I am as little faulty that way as most of
my Sex: But I suppose his Faculty of Smelling was as nice with regard to
me, as mine was to that of this People. Upon this point, I cannot forbear
doing Justice to the Queen my Mistress, and Glumdalclitch my Nurse,
whose Persons were as sweet as those of any Lady in England.
That which gave me most Uneasiness among these Maids of Honour, when
my Nurse carried me to visit them, was to see them use me without any
manner of Ceremony, like a Creature who had no sort of Consequence.
For, they would strip themselves to the Skin, and put on their Smocks in
my Presence, while I was placed on their Toylet directly before their naked
Bodies, which, I am sure, to me was very far from being a tempting Sight,
or from giving me any other emotions than those of Horror and Disgust.
Their Skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured, when I
saw them near, with a Mole here and there as broad as a Trencher, and
Hairs hanging from it thicker than Pack-threads, to say nothing further
concerning the rest of their Persons. Neither did they at all scruple, while I
was by to discharge what they had drunk, to the Quantity of at least two
Hogsheads, in a Vessel that held above three Tuns. The handsomest among
these Maids of Honour, a pleasant frolicksome Girl of Sixteen, would
sometimes set me astride upon one of her Nipples, with many other Tricks,
wherein the Reader will excuse me for not being over particular. But I was
so much displeased, that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some Excuse
for not seeing that young Lady any more.
One Day, a young Gentleman, who was a Nephew to my Nurse's
Governess, came and pressed them both to see an Execution. It was of a
Man who had murdered one of that Gentleman's intimate Acquaintance.
Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the Company, very much against
her Inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted: And, as for my self,
although I abhorred such kind of Spectacles, yet my Curiosity tempted me
to see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The Malefactor was
fixed in a Chair upon a Scaffold erected for the Purpose, and his Head cut
off at a Blow with a Sword of about forty Foot long. The Veins and
Arteries spouted up such a prodigious Quantity of Blood, and so high in the
Air, that the great Jett d'eau at Versailles was not equal, for the Time it
lasted; and the Head, when it fell on the Scaffold-Floor, gave such a
Bounce, as made me start, although I were at least half an English Mile
distant.
The Queen, who often used to hear me talk of my Sea-Voyages, and took
all Occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I
understood how to handle a Sail, or an Oar, and whether a little Exercise
of Rowing might not be convenient for my Health. I answered, that I
understood both very well: For, although my proper Employment had been
to be Surgeon or Doctor to the Ship, yet upon a Pinch, I was forced to
work like a common Mariner. But I could not see how this could be done
in their Country, where the smallest Wherry was equal to a First-rate Man
of War among us, and such a Boat as I could manage would never live in
any of their Rivers. Her Majesty said, if I would contrive a Boat, her own
Joiner should make it, and she would provide a Place for me to sail in. The
Fellow was an ingenious Workman, and, by my instructions, in ten Days
finished a Pleasure-Boat, with all its Tackling, able conveniently to hold
eight Europeans. When it was finished, the Queen was so delighted, that she
ran with it in her Lap to the King, who ordered it to be put in a Cistern
full of Water, with me in it, by Way of Tryal; where I could not manage
my two Sculls, or little Oars, for want of Room. But the Queen had before
contrived another Project. She ordered the Joiner to make a wooden
Trough of three hundred Foot long, fifty broad, and eight deep; which
being well pitched to prevent leaking, was placed on the Floor along the
Wall, in an outer Room of the Palace. It had a cock near the Bottom to let
out the Water when it began to grow stale, and two Servants could easily
fill it in half an Hour. Here I often used to row for my own Diversion, as
well as that of the Queen and her Ladies, who thought themselves well
entertained with my Skill and Agility. Sometimes I would put up my Sail,
and then my Business was only to steer, while the Ladies gave me a Gale
with their fans; and when they were weary, some of the pages would blow
my Sail forward with their Breath, while I showed my Art steering
starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I had done, Glumdalclitch always
carried my Boat into her Closet, and hung it on a Nail to dry.
In this Exercise I once met an Accident which had like to have cost me my
Life: For, one of the Pages having put my Boat into the Trough, the
Governess, who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up to
place me in the Boat, but I happened to slip through her Fingers, and
should have infallibly fallen down forty Foot upon the Floor, if by the
luckiest Chance in the World, I had not been stopp'd by a Corking-pin that
stuck in the good Gentlewoman's Stomacher; the Head of the Pin passed
between my Shirt and the Waistband of my Breeches, and thus I was held
by the Middle in the Air till Glumdalclitch ran to my Relief.
Another Time, one of the Servants, whose Office it was to fill my Trough
every third Day with fresh Water, was so careless to let a huge Frog (not
perceiving it) slip out of his Pail. The Frog lay concealed till I was put into
my Boat, but then seeking a resting Place, climbed up, and made it lean so
much on one Side, that I was forced to balance it with all my Weight on the
other, to prevent overturning. When the Frog was got in, it hopped at once
half the Length of the Boat, and then over my Head, backwards and
forwards, daubing my face and Clothes with its odious Slime. The
Largeness of its Features made it appear the most deformed Animal that
can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it
alone. I banged it a good while with one of my Sculls, and at last forced it
to leap out of the Boat.
But the greatest Danger I ever underwent in that Kingdom was from a
Monkey, who belonged to one of the Clerks of the Kitchen. Glumdalclitch
had locked me up in her Closet, while she went somewhere upon Business,
or a Visit. The Weather being very warm, the Closet-Window was left
open, as well as the Windows and the Door of my bigger Box, in which I
usually lived, because of its Largeness and Conveniency. As I sat quietly
meditating at my Table, I heard something bounce in at the Closet-
Window, and skip about from one Side to the other; whereat, although I
was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not stirring from my
Seat; and then I saw this frolicksome Animal, frisking and leaping up and
down, till at last he came to my Box, which he seemed to view with great
Pleasure and Curiosity, peeping in at the Door and every Window. I
retreated to the farther Corner of my Room, or Box, but the Monkey
looking in at every Side, put me into such a Fright, that I wanted Presence
of Mind to conceal my self under the Bed, as I might easily have done.
After some Time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last
espied me, and reaching one of his Paws in at the Door, as a Cat does when
she plays with a Mouse, although I often shifted Place to avoid him, he at
Length seized the Lappet of my Coat (which being made of that Country
Cloth, was very thick and strong,) and dragged me out. He took me up in
his right Fore-foot, and held me as a Nurse does a Child she is going to
suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of Creature do with a Kitten in
Europe: And when I offered to struggle, he squeezed me so hard, that I
thought it more prudent to submit. I have good Reason to believe that he
took me for a young one of his own Species, by his often stroaking my
Face very gently with his other Paw. In these Diversions he was
interrupted by a Noise at the Closet Door, as if some Body were opening it;
whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the Window at which he had come in,
and thence upon the Leads and Gutters, walking upon three Legs, and
holding me in the fourth, till he clamber'd up to a Roof that was next to
ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the Moment he was carrying
me out. The poor Girl was almost distracted: That Quarter of the Palace
was all in an uproar; the Servants ran for Ladders; the Monkey was seen by
hundreds in the Court, sitting upon the Ridge of a Building, holding me
like a Baby in one of his Fore-paws, and feeding me with the other, by
cramming into my Mouth some Victuals he had squeezed out of the Bag on
one side of his Chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many
of the Rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they
justly ought to be blamed, for without Question the Sight was ridiculous
enough to every Body but my self. Some of the People threw up Stones,
hoping to drive the Monkey down; but this was strictly forbidden, or else
very probably my Brains had been dashed out.
The Ladders were now applied, and mounted by several Men, which the
Monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed: not being able
to make Speed enough with his three Legs, let me drop on a Ridge-Tyle,
and made his Escape. Here I sat for some Time, three hundred Yards from
the Ground, expecting every Moment to be blown down by the Wind, or to
fall by my own Giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the
Ridge to the Eves: But an honest Lad, one of my Nurse's Footmen, climbed
up, and putting me into his Breeches Pocket, brought me down safe.
I was almost choaked with the filthy Stuff the Monkey had crammed down
my Throat: but my dear little Nurse picked it out of my Mouth with a
small Needle, and then I fell to vomiting, which gave me great Relief. Yet I
was so weak, and bruised in the Sides with the Squeezes given me by this
odious Animal, that I was forced to keep my Bed a Fortnight. The King,
Queen, and all the Court, sent every Day to enquire after my Health, and
her Majesty made me several Visits during my Sickness. The Monkey was
killed, and an Order made that no such Animal should be kept about the
Palace.
When I attended the King after my Recovery, to return him Thanks for his
Favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this Adventure. He
asked me what my Thoughts and Speculations were while I lay in the
Monkey's Paw; how I liked the Victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding;
and whether the fresh Air on the Roof had sharpen'd my Stomack. He
desired to know what I would have done upon such an Occasion my own
Country. I told his Majesty, that in Europe we had no Monkeys, except
such as were brought for Curiosities from other Places, and so small that I
could deal with a Dozen of them together, if they presumed to attack me.
And as for that monstrous Animal with whom I was so lately engaged (it
was indeed as large as an Elephant,) if my Fears had suffered me to think
so far as to make use of my Hanger, (looking fiercely and clapping my
Hand upon the Hilt as I spoke,) when he poked his Paw into my Chamber,
perhaps I should have given him such a Wound, as would have made him
glad to withdraw it, with more haste than he put it in. This I delivered in a
firm Tone, like a Person who was jealous lest his Honour should be called
in question. However, my Speech produced nothing else besides a loud
Laughter, which all the respect due to his Majesty from those about him
could not make them contain. This made me reflect how vain an attempt it
is for a Man to endeavor doing himself Honour among those who are out
of all Degree of Equality or Comparison with him. And yet I have seen the
Moral of my own Behaviour very frequent in England since my Return,
where a little contemptible Varlet, without the least Title to Birth, Person,
Wit, or common Sense, shall presume to look with Importance, and put
himself upon a Foot with the greatest Persons of the Kingdom.
I was every Day furnishing the Court with some ridiculous Story; and
Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to Excess, yet was arch enough to
inform the Queen, whenever I committed any Folly that she thought would
be diverting to her Majesty. The Girl who had been out of Order, was
carried by her Governess to take the Air about an Hour's Distance, or
thirty Miles from Town. They alighted out of the Coach near a small Foot-
path in a Field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling Box, I went
out of it to walk. There was a Cow-Dung in the Path, and I must needs try
my Activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a Run, but unfortunately
jumped short, and found my self just in the Middle up to my Knees. I
waded through with some Difficulty, and one of the Footmen wiped me as
clean as he could with his Handkerchief; for I was filthily bemired, and my
Nurse confined me to my Box till we returned home; where the Queen was
soon informed of what had passed, and the Footmen spread it about the
Court; so that all the Mirth, for some Days, was at my Expense.
CHAPTER VI.
Several Contrivances of the Author to please the King and Queen. He shews
his Skill in Musick. The King enquires into the State of Europe, which the
Author relates to him. The King's Observations thereon.
I USED to attend the King's Levee once or twice a Week, and had often
seen him under the Barber's Hand, which indeed was at first very terrible
to behold: For the Razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary Scythe.
His Majesty, according to the Custom of the Country, was only shaved
twice a Week. I once prevailed on the Barber to give me some of the Suds
or Lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest Stumps of
Hair. I then took a Piece of fine Wood, and cut it like the back of a Comb,
making several Holes in it at equal Distance with as small a Needle as I
could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the Stumps so artificially, scraping
and sloping them with my Knife toward the Points, that I made a very
tolerable Comb; which was a seasonable Supply, my own being so much
broken in the Teeth, that it was almost useless: Neither did I know any
Artist in that Country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me
another.
And this puts me in Mind of an Amusement wherein I spent many of my
leisure Hours. I desired the Queen's Woman to save for me the Combings
of her Majesty's Hair, whereof in Time I got a good Quantity, and
consulting with my Friend the Cabinet-Maker, who had received general
Orders to do little Jobbs for me, I directed him to make two Chair-Frames,
no larger than those I had in my Box, and then to bore little Holes with a
fine Awl round those Parts where I designed the Backs and Seats; through
these Holes I wove the strongest Hairs I could pick out, just after the
manner of Cane-Chairs in England. When they were finished, I made a
Present of them to her Majesty, who kept them in her Cabinet, and used to
shew them for Curiosities, as indeed they were the Wonder of every one
that beheld them. The Queen would have had me sit upon one of these
Chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I would rather die a
thousand Deaths than place a dishonourable Part of my Body on those
precious Hairs that once adorned her Majesty's Head. Of these Hairs (as I
had always a Mechanical Genius) I likewise made a neat little Purse about
five Foot long, with her Majesty's Name decyphered in Gold Letters,
which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the Queen's Consent. To say the Truth,
it was more for Show than Use, being not of Strength to bear the Weight of
the larger Coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it but some little Toys
that Girls are fond of.
The King, who delighted in Musick, had frequent Consorts at Court, to
which I was sometimes carried, and set in my Box on a Table to hear them:
But, the Noise was so great, that I could hardly distinguish the Tunes. I am
confident that all the Drums and Trumpets of a Royal Army, beating and
sounding together just at your Ears, could not equal it. My practice was to
have my Box removed from the Places where the Performers sat, as far as
I could, then to shut the Doors and Windows of it, and draw the Window-
Curtains; after which I found their Musick not disagreeable.
I had learned in my Youth to play a little upon the Spinet Glumdalclitch
kept one in her Chamber, and a Master attended twice a Week to teach her:
I call it a Spinet, because it somewhat resembled that Instrument, and was
play'd upon in the same Manner. A fancy came into my Head that I would
entertain the King and Queen with an English Tune upon this Instrument.
But this appeared extremely difficult: For, the Spinet was near sixty Foot
long, each key being almost a Foot wide, so that, with my Arms extended, I
could not reach to above five Keys, and to press them down required a
good smart Stroak with my Fist, which would be too great a Labour, and
to no Purpose. The Method I contrived was this. I prepared two round
Sticks about the Bigness of common Cudgels; they were thicker at one End
than the other, and I covered the thicker Ends with a Piece of a Mouse's
Skin, that by rapping on them, I might neither damage the Tops of the
Keys, nor interrupt the Sound. Before the Spinet a Bench was placed about
four Foot below the Keys, and I was put upon the Bench. I ran sideling
upon it that Way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper Keys with
my two Sticks, and made a Shift to play a Jigg, to the great Satisfaction of
both their Majesties: But it was the most violent Exercise I ever underwent,
and yet I could not strike above sixteen Keys, nor, consequently, play the
Bass and Treble together, as other Artists do; which was a great
Disadvantage to my Performance.
The King, who, as I before observed, was a Prince of excellent
Understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my
Box, and set upon the Table in his Closet: He would then command me to
bring one of my Chairs out of the Box, and sit down within three Yards
Distance upon the Top of the Cabinet, which brought me almost to a level
with his Face. In this Manner I had several Conversations with him. I one
Day took the Freedom to tell his Majesty, that the Contempt he discovered
towards Europe, and the rest of the World, did not seem answerable to
those excellent Qualities of the Mind he was Master of. That Reason did not
extend it self with the Bulk of the Body: On the contrary, we observed in
our Country, that the tallest Persons were usually least provided with it.
That among other Animals, Bees and Ants had the Reputation of more
Industry, Art and Sagacity, than many of the larger Kinds; and that, as
inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his Majesty
some signal Service. The King heard me with Attention, and began to
conceive a much better Opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired
I would give him as exact an Account of the Government of England, as I
possibly could; because, as fond as Princes commonly are of their own
Customs (for so he conjectured of other Monarchs, by my former
Discourses), he should be glad to hear of any Thing that might deserve
Imitation.
Imagine with thy self, courteous Reader, how often I then wished for the
Tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate
the Praise of my own dear native Country in a Stile equal to its Merits and
Felicity.
I began my Discourse by informing his Majesty that our Dominions
consisted of two Islands, which composed three mighty Kingdoms under
one Sovereign, beside our Plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the
Fertility of our Soil, and the Temperature of our Climate. I then spoke at
large upon the Constitution of an English Parliament, partly made up of an
illustrious Body called the House of Peers, Persons of the noblest Blood,
and of the most ancient and ample Patrimonies. I described that
extraordinary Care always taken of their Education in Arts and Arms, to
qualify them for being Counsellors born to the King and Kingdom; to have
a share in the Legislature; to be Members of the highest Court of
Judicature, from whence there could be no Appeal; and to be Champions
always ready for the Defence of their Prince and Country, by their Valour,
Conduct, and Fidelity. That these were the Ornament and Bulwark of the
Kingdom, worthy Followers of their most renowned Ancestors, whose
Honour had been the Reward of their Virtue, from which their Posterity
were never once known to degenerate. To these we joined several holy
Persons, as part of that Assembly, under the Title of Bishops, whose
peculiar Business it is to take care of Religion, and of those who instruct
the People therein. These were searched, and sought out, through the whole
Nation, by the Prince and his wisest Counsellors, among such of the
Priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the Sanctity of their
Lives, and the depth of their Erudition; who were indeed the spiritual
Fathers of the Clergy and the People.
That, the other Part of the Parliament consisted of an Assembly called the
House of Commons, who were all principal Gentlemen, freely picked and
culled out by the People themselves, for their great Abilities and Love of
their Country, to represent the Wisdom of the whole Nation. And these two
Bodies make up the most august Assembly in Europe, to whom, in
Conjunction with the Prince, the whole Legislature is Committed.
I then descended to the Courts of Justice, over which the Judges, those
venerable Sages and Interpreters of the Law presided, for determining the
disputed Rights and Properties of Men, as well as for the Punishment of
Vice, and Protection of Innocence. I mentioned the prudent Management of
our Treasury; the Valour and Atchievements of our Forces by Sea and
Land. I computed the Number of our People, by reckoning how many
Millions there might be of each religious Sect, or political Party among us.
I did not omit even our Sports and Pastimes, or any other Particular which
I thought might redound to the Honour of my Country. And I finished all
with a brief historical Account of Affairs and Events in England for about
an hundred Years past.
This Conversation was not ended under five Audiences, each of several
Hours, and the King heard the whole with great Attention, frequently
taking Notes of what I spoke, as well as Memorandums of all Questions he
intended to ask me.
When I had put an End to these long Discourses, his Majesty in a sixth
Audience consulting his Notes, proposed many Doubts, Queries, and
Objections, upon every Article. He asked what Methods were used to
cultivate the Minds and Bodies of our young Nobility, and in what kind of
Business they commonly spent the first and teachable Part of their Lives.
What Course was taken to supply that Assembly when any Noble Family
became extinct. What Qualifications were necessary in those who were to
be created new Lords: Whether the Humour of the Prince, a Sum of Money
to a Court Lady or a Prime Minister, or a Design of strengthening a Party
opposite to the publick Interest, ever happened to be Motives in those
Advancements. What Share of Knowledge these Lords had in the Laws of
their Country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide the
Properties of their Fellow-Subjects in the last Resort. Whether they were
always so free from Avarice, Partialities, or Want, that a Bribe, or some
other sinister View, could have no Place among them. Whether those holy
Lords I spoke of were always promoted to that Rank upon account of their
Knowledge in religious Matters, and the Sanctity of their Lives, had never
been Compliers with the Times while they were common Priests, or slavish
prostitute Chaplains to some Nobleman, whose Opinions they continued
servilely to follow after they were admitted into that Assembly.
He then desired to know what Arts were practiced in electing those whom I
called Commoners: Whether a Stranger with a strong Purse might not
influence the vulgar Voters to choose him before their own Landlord, or
the most considerable Gentleman in the Neighbourhood. How it came to
pass, that People were so violently bent upon getting into this Assembly,
which I allowed to be a great Trouble and Expense, often to the Ruin of
their Families, without any Salary or Pension: Because this appeared such
an exalted Strain of Virtue and publick Spirit, that his Majesty seemed to
doubt it might possibly not be always sincere: and he desired to know
whether such zealous Gentlemen could have any Views of refunding
themselves for the Charges and Trouble they were at, by sacrificing the
publick Good to the Designs of a weak and vicious Prince in Conjunction
with a corrupted Ministry. He multiplied his Questions, and sifted me
thoroughly upon every Part of this Head, proposing numberless Enquiries
and Objections, which I think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.
Upon what I said in relation to our Courts of Justice, his Majesty desired to
be satisfied in several Points: And this I was the better able to do, having
been formerly almost ruined by a long Suit in Chancery, which was
decreed for me with Costs. He asked, what Time was usually spent in
determining between Right and Wrong, and what Degree of Expence.
Whether Advocates and Orators had Liberty to plead in Causes manifestly
known to be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive. Whether Party in Religion or
Politicks were observed to be of any Weight in the Scale of Justice.
Whether those pleading Orators were Persons educated in the general
Knowledge of Equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local
Customs. Whether they or their Judges had any Part in penning those Laws
which they assumed the Liberty of interpreting and glossing upon at their
Pleasure. Whether they had ever at different Times pleaded for and against
the same Cause, and cited Precedents to prove contrary Opinions. Whether
they were a rich or a poor Corporation. Whether they received any
pecuniary Reward for pleading or delivering their Opinions. And
particularly whether they were ever admitted as Members in the lower
Senate.
He fell next upon the Management of our Treasury; and said, he thought
my Memory had failed me, because I computed our Taxes at about five or
six Millions a Year, and when I came to mention the Issues, he found they
sometimes amounted to more than double; for the Notes he had taken were
very particular in this Point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the
Knowledge of our Conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be
deceived in his Calculations. But, if what I told him were true, he was still
at a Loss how a Kingdom could run out of its Estate like a private Person.
He asked me, who were our Creditors; and where we should find Money to
pay them. He wonder'd to hear me talk of such chargeable and extensive
Wars; that certainly we must be a quarrelsome People, or live among very
bad Neighbours, and that our Generals must needs be richer than our
Kings. He asked what Business we had out of our own Islands, unless upon
the Score of Trade or Treaty, or to defend the Coasts with our Fleet.
Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing Army in
the midst of Peace, and among a free People. He said, if we were governed
by our own Consent in the Persons of our Representatives, he could not
imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and
would hear my Opinion, whether a private Man's House might not better
be defended by himself, his Children, and Family, than by half a dozen
rascals picked up at a venture in the Streets, for small Wages, who might
get a hundred times more by cutting their Throats.
He laughed at my odd Kind of Arithmetick (as he was pleased to call it) in
reckoning the Numbers of our People by a Computation drawn from the
several Sects among us in Religion and Politicks. He said, he knew no
Reason, why those who entertain Opinions prejudicial to the Publick,
should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And
as it was Tyranny in any Government to require the first, so it was
Weakness not to enforce the second: For a Man may be allowed to keep
poisons in his Closet, but not to vend them about for Cordials.
He observed, that among the Diversions of our Nobility and Gentry, I had
mentioned Gaming. He desired to know at what Age this Entertainment was
usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their Time it
employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their Fortunes:
Whether mean vicious People, by their Dexterity in that Art, might not
arrive at great Riches, and sometimes keep our very Nobles in Dependance,
as well as habituate them to vile Companions, wholly take them from the
Improvement of their Minds, and force them, by the Losses they have
received, to learn and practice that infamous Dexterity upon others.
He was perfectly astonished with the historical Account I gave him of our
Affairs during the last Century, protesting it was only a Heap of
Conspiracies, Rebellions, Murders, Massacres, Revolutions, Banishments,
the very worst Effects that Avarice, Faction, Hypocrisy, Perfidiousness,
Cruelty, Rage, Madness, Hatred, Envy, Lust, Malice, or Ambition could
produce.
His Majesty in another Audience was at the Pains to recapitulate the Sum of
all I had spoken, compared the Questions he made with the Answers I had
given; then taking me into his Hands, and stroaking me gently, delivered
himself in these Words, which I shall never forget nor the Manner he
spoke them in: My little Friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable
Panegyric upon your Country: You have clearly proved that Ignorance,
Idleness, and Vice may be sometimes the only Ingredients for qualifying a
Legislator: That Laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied by those
whose Interest and Abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding
them. I observe among you some Lines of an Institution, which in its
Original might have been tolerable, but these half erazed, and the rest
wholly blurred and blotted by Corruptions. It doth not appear from all you
have said, how any one Virtue is required towards the Procurement of any
one Station among you, much less that Men are ennobled on Account of
their Virtue, that Priests are advanced for their Piety or Learning, Soldiers
for their Conduct or Valour, Judges for their Integrity, Senators for the
Love of their Country, or Counsellors for their Wisdom. As for yourself,
(continued the King,) who have spent the greatest Part of your Life in
Travelling, I am well disposed to hope you may hitherto have escaped
many Vices of your Country. But by what I have gathered from your own
Relation, and the Answers I have with much Pain wringed and extorted
from you, I cannot but conclude the Bulk of your Natives to be the most
pernicious Race of little odious Vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl
upon the Surface of the Earth.
CHAPTER VII.
The Author's Love of his Country. He makes a Proposal of much
Advantage to the King, which is rejected. The King's great Ignorance in
Politicks. The Learning of the Country very imperfect and confined. Their
Laws and millitary Affairs, and Parties in the State.
Nothing but an extreme Love of Truth could have hinder'd me from
concealing this Part of my Story. It was in vain to discover my
Resentments, which were always turned into Ridicule; and I was forced to
rest with Patience while my noble and most beloved Country was so
injuriously treated. I am heartily sorry as any of my Readers can possibly
be, that such an Occasion was given: But this Prince happened to be so
curious and inquisitive upon every Particular, that it could not consist
either with Gratitude or good Manners to refuse giving him what
Satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my own
Vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his Questions, and gave to every
Point a more favourable Turn by many Degrees than the Strictness of
Truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable Partiality to my
own Country, which Dionysius Halicarnassensis with so much Justice
recommends to an Historian : I would hide the Frailties and Deformities of
my political Mother, and place her Virtues and Beauties in the most
advantageous Light. This was my sincere Endeavour in those many
Discourses I had with that mighty Monarch, although it unfortunately
failed of Success.
But great Allowances should be given to a King who lives wholly secluded
from the rest of the World, and must therefore be altogether unacquainted
with the Manners and Customs that most prevail in other Nations: The want
of which Knowledge will ever produce many Prejudices, and a certain
Narrowness of thinking, from which we and the politer Countries of
Europe are wholly exempted. And it would be hard, indeed, if so remote a
Prince's Notions of Virtue and Vice were to be offered as a standard for all
Mankind.
To confirm what I have now said, and further, to shew the miserable
Effects of a confined Education, I shall here insert a Passage which will
hardly obtain Belief. In hopes to ingratiate my self farther into his
Majesty's Favour, I told him of an Invention discovered between three and
four hundred Years ago, to make a certain Powder, into a Heap of which
the smallest Spark of Fire falling, would kindle the whole in a Moment,
although it were as big as a Mountain, and make it all fly up in the Air
together, with a Noise and Agitation greater than Thunder. That a proper
Quantity of this Powder rammed into a hollow Tube of Brass or Iron,
according to its Bigness, would drive a Ball of Iron or Lead with such
Violence and Speed, as nothing was able to sustain its Force. That the
largest Balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole Ranks of an
Army at once, but batter the strongest Walls to the Ground, sink down
Ships, with a Thousand Men in each, to the Bottom of the Sea; and, when
linked together by a Chain, would cut through Masts and Rigging, divide
hundreds of Bodies in the Middle, and lay all waste before them. That we
often put this Powder into large hollow Balls of Iron, and discharged them
by an Engine into some City we were besieging, which would rip up the
Pavements, tear the Houses to pieces, burst and throw Splinters on every
Side, dashing out the Brains of all who came near. That I knew the
Ingredients very well, which were cheap, and common; I understood the
Manner of compounding them, and could direct his Workmen how to make
those Tubes of a Size proportionable to all other Things in his Majesty's
Kingdom, and the largest need not be above an hundred Foot long; twenty
or thirty of which Tubes, charged with the proper Quantity of Powder and
Balls, would batter down the Walls of the strongest Town in his Dominions
in a few Hours, or destroy the whole Metropolis, if ever it should pretend
to dispute his absolute Commands. This I humbly offered to his Majesty, as
a small Tribute of Acknowledgment in Return of so many Marks that I had
received of his Royal Favour and Protection.
The King was struck with Horror at the Description I had given of those
terrible Engines, and the Proposal I had made. He was amazed how so
impotent and grovelling an Insect as I (these were his Expressions) could
entertain such inhuman Ideas, and in so Familiar a Manner as to appear
wholly unmoved at all the Scenes of Blood and Desolation, which I had
painted as the common Effects of those destructive Machines, whereof he
said some evil Genius, Enemy to Mankind, must have been the first
Contriver. As for himself, he protested that although few Things delighted
him so much as new Discoveries in Art or in Nature, yet he would rather
lose half his Kingdom than be privy to such a Secret, which he commanded
me, as I valued my Life, never to mention any more.
A strange Effect of narrow Principles and short Views! that a Prince
possessed of every Quality which procures Veneration, Love, and Esteem;
of strong Parts, great Wisdom, and profound Learning, endued with
admirable Talents for Government, and almost adored by his Subjects,
should from a nice unnecessary Scruple, whereof in Europe we can have
no Conception, let slip an Opportunity to put into his Hands, that would
have made him absolute Master of the Lives, the Liberties, and the
Fortunes of his People. Neither do I say this with the least Intention to
detract from the many Virtues of that excellent King, whose Character I
am sensible will on this account be very much lessened in the Opinion of an
English Reader: But I take this Defect among them to have risen from their
Ignorance, they not having hitherto reduced Politicks into a Science, as the
more acute Wits of Europe have done. For I remember very well, in a
Discourse one Day with the King, when I happened to say there were
several thousand Books among us written upon the Art of Government, it
gave him (directly contrary to my Intention) a very mean Opinion of our
Understandings. He professed both to abominate and despise all Mystery,
Refinement, and Intrigue, either in a Prince or a Minister. He could not tell
what I meant by Secrets of State, where an Enemy or some Rival Nation
were not in the Case. He confined the Knowledge of Governing within very
narrow Bounds; to common Sense and Reason, to Justice and Lenity, to the
speedy Determination of civil and criminal Causes; with some other
obvious Topicks, which are not worth considering. And, he gave it for his
Opinion, that whoever could make two Ears of Corn, or two blades of
Grass to grow upon a Spot of Ground where only one grew before, would
deserve better of Mankind, and do more essential Service to his Country
than the whole Race of Politicians put together.
The Learning of this People is very defective, consisting only in Morality,
History, Poetry, and Mathematicks, wherein they must be allowed to excel.
But, the last of these is wholly applied to what may be useful in Life, to the
Improvement of Agriculture and all mechanical Arts; so that among us it
would be little esteemed. And as to Ideas, Entities, Abstractions and
Transcendentals, I could never drive the least Conception into their heads.
No Law of that Country must exceed in Words the Number of Letters in
their Alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty. But, indeed, few of
them extend even to that Length. They are expressed in the most plain and
simple Terms, wherein those People are not mercurial enough to discover
above one Interpretation: And to write a Comment upon any Law is a
capital Crime. As to the Decision of civil Causes, or Proceedings against
Criminals, their Precedents are so few, that they have little Reason to boast
of any extraordinary Skill in either.
They have had the Art of Printing, as well as the Chinese, Time out of
mind: But their Libraries are not very large; for that of the King's which is
reckoned the biggest, doth not amount to above a thousand Volumes, placed
in a Gallery twelve hundred Foot long, from whence I had Liberty to
borrow what Books I pleased. The Queen's Joiner had contrived in one of
Glumdalclitch's Rooms a kind of wooden Machine five and twenty Foot
high, formed like a standing Ladder; the Steps were each fifty Foot long: It
was indeed a moveable Pair of Stairs, the lowest End placed at ten Foot
Distance from the Wall of the Chamber. The Book I had a Mind to read
was put up leaning against the Wall: I first mounted to the upper Step of
the Ladder, and turning my Face towards the Book, began at the Top of the
Page, and so walking to the Right and Left about eight or ten Paces,
according to the Length of the Lines, till I had gotten a little below the
Level of mine Eyes, and then descending gradually till I came to the
Bottom: After which I mounted again, and began the other Page in the
same manner, and so turned over the Leaf, which I could easily do with
both my Hands, for it was as thick and stiff as Paste-board, and in the
largest Folio's not above eighteen or twenty Foot long.
Their Stile is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid, for they avoid
nothing more than multiplying unnecessary Words, or using various
Expressions. I have perused many of their Books, especially those in
History and Morality. Among the rest I was much diverted with a little old
Treatise, which always lay in Glumdalclitch's Bed-Chamber, and belonged
to her Governess, a grave elderly Gentlewoman, who dealt in Writings of
Morality and Devotion. The Book treats of the Weakness of Human Kind,
and is in little Esteem, except among the Women and the Vulgar. However,
I was curious to see what an Author of that Country could say upon such a
Subject. This Writer went through all the usual Topicks of European
Moralists, shewing how diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an Animal
was Man in his own Nature; how unable to defend himself from the
Inclemencies of the Air, or the Fury of wild Beasts: How much he was
excelled by one Creature in Strength, by another in Speed, by a third in
Foresight, by a fourth in Industry. He added, that Nature was degenerated
in these latter declining Ages of the World, and could now produce only
small abortive Births in comparison of those in ancient Times. He said, it
was very reasonable to think, not only that the Species of Men were
originally much larger, but also, that there must have been Giants in
former Ages, which, as it is asserted by History and Tradition, so it has
been confirmed by huge Bones and Skulls casually dug up in several Parts
of the Kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled Race of Man in our
Days. He argued, that the very Laws of Nature absolutely required we
should have been made in the Beginning, of a Size more large and robust,
not so liable to Destruction from every little Accident of a Tile falling
from an House, or a Stone cast from the Hand of a Boy, or of being
drowned in a little Brook. From this way of Reasoning, the Author drew
several moral Applications useful in the Conduct of Life, but needless here
to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid reflecting how universally
this Talent was spread, of drawing Lectures in Morality, or, indeed, rather
Matter of Discontent and Repining, from the Quarrels we raise with
Nature. And, I believe, upon a strict Enquiry, those Quarrels might be
shewn as ill-grounded among us, as they are among that People.
As to their Military Affairs, they boast that the King's Army consists of an
hundred and seventy six thousand Foot, and thirty two thousand Horse: If
that may be called an Army which is made up of Tradesmen in the several
Cities, and Farmers in the Country, whose Commanders are only the
Nobility and Gentry, without Pay or Reward. They are, indeed, perfect
enough in their Exercises, and under very good Discipline, wherein I saw
no great Merit; for how should it be otherwise, where every Farmer is
under the Command of his own Landlord, and every Citizen under that of
the principal Men in his own City, chosen after the Manner of Venice by
Ballot?
I have often seen the Militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to exercise in a
great Field near the City, of twenty Miles square. They were, in all, not
above twenty five thousand Foot, and six thousand Horse; but it was
impossible for me to compute their Number, considering the space of
Ground they took up. A Cavalier mounted on a large Steed, might be about
one hundred Foot high. I have seen this whole Body of Horse, upon a
Word of Command, draw their Swords at once, and brandish them in the
Air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising, and so
astonishing: It looked as if ten thousand Flashes of Lightning were darting
at the same Time from every Quarter of the Sky.
I was curious to know how this Prince, to whose Dominions there is no
Access from any other Country, came to think of Armies, or to teach his
People the Practice of military Discipline. But I was soon informed, both
by Conversation and reading their Histories: For, in the Course of many
Ages they have been troubled with the same Disease, to which the whole
race of Mankind is subject; the Nobility often contending for Power, the
People for Liberty, and the King for absolute Dominion. All which,
however, happily tempered by the Laws of the Kingdom, have been
sometimes violated by each of the three Parties, and have once or more
occasioned Civil Wars, the last whereof was happily put an End to by this
Prince's Grandfather by a general Composition; and the Militia, then
settled with common Consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest Duty.
CHAPTER VIII.
The King and Queen make a Progress to the Frontiers. The Author attends
them. The Manner in which he leaves the Country very particularly
related. He returns to England.
I had always a strong Impulse that I should some Time recover my
Liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what Means, or to form
any Project with the least Hope of succeeding. The Ship in which I sailed
was the first ever known to be driven within Sight of that Coast, and the
King had given strict Orders, that if at any time another appeared, it should
be taken ashore, and, with all its Crew and Passengers brought in a
Tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to get me a Woman of my
own Size, by whom I might propagate the Breed: But, I think I should
rather have died than undergone the Disgrace of leaving a Posterity to be
kept in Cages like tame Canary Birds, and perhaps, in Time, sold about the
Kingdom to Persons of Quality for Curiosities. I was, indeed, treated with
much Kindness: I was the Favourite of a great King and Queen, and the
Delight of the whole Court, but it was upon such a Foot as ill became the
Dignity of Human Kind. I could never forget those domestick Pledges I had
left behind me. I wanted to be among People with whom I could converse
upon even Terms, and walk about the Streets and Fields without Fear of
being trodden to Death like a Frog or a young Puppy. But my Deliverance
came sooner than I expected, and, in a Manner not very common: The
whole Story and Circumstances of which, I shall faithfully relate.
I had now been two Years in this Country; and, about the Beginning of the
third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the King and Queen in a Progress to the
South Coast of the Kingdom. I was carried, as usual, in my Travelling-
Box, which, as I have already described, was a very convenient Closet of
twelve Foot wide. And I had ordered a Hammock to be fixed by silken
Ropes from the four Corners at the Top, to break the Jolts, when a Servant
carried me before him on Horseback, as I sometimes desired, and would
often sleep in my Hammock while we were upon the Road. On the Roof of
my Closet, not directly over the middle of the Hammock, I ordered the
Joyner to cut out a hole a Foot square, to give me Air in hot Weather, as I
slept; which Hole I shut, at Pleasure, with a Board that drew backwards and
forwards through a Groove.
When we came to our Journey's End, the King thought proper to pass a
few Days at a Palace he hath near Flanflasnic, a City within eighteen
English Miles of the Sea-side. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued; I
had gotten a small Cold, but the poor Girl was so ill as to be confined to
her Chamber. I longed to see the Ocean, which must be the only Scene of
my Escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I really
was, and desired Leave to take the fresh Air of the Sea, with a Page whom
I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been trusted with me. I shall
never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch consented, nor the
strict Charge she gave the Page to be careful of me, bursting at the same
Time into a Flood of Tears, as if she had some Foreboding of what was to
happen. The Boy took me out in my Box about half an hours Walk from
the Palace towards the Rocks on the Sea-shore. I ordered him to set me
down, and lifting up one of my Sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy
Look towards the Sea. I found my self not very well, and told the Page that
I had a Mind to take a Nap in my Hammock, which I hoped would do me
good. I got in, and the Boy shut the Window close down to keep out the
Cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, that while I slept, the
Page, thinking no Danger could happen, went among the Rocks to look for
Bird's Eggs, having before observed him from my Window searching
about, and picking up one or two in the Clefts. Be that as it will, I found
my self suddenly awaked with a violent Pull upon the Ring which was
fastened at the Top of my Box for the Conveniency of Carriage. I felt my
Box raised very high in the Air, and then born forward with prodigious
Speed. The first Jolt had like to have shaken me out of my Hammock, but
afterwards the Motion was easy enough. I called out several Times as loud
as I could raise my Voice, but all to no Purpose. I looked towards my
Windows, and could see nothing but the Clouds and Sky. I heard a Noise
just over my Head like the clapping of Wings, and then began to perceive
the woful Condition I was in, that some Eagle had got the Ring of my Box
in his Beak, with an Intent to let it fall on a Rock like a Tortoise in a Shell,
and then pick out my Body, and devour it. For the Sagacity and Smell of
this Bird enable him to discover his Quarry at a great Distance, though
better concealed than I could be within a Two-Inch Board.
In a little Time I observed the Noise of Flutter of Wings to increase very
fast, and my Box was tossed up and down, like a Sign-Post on a windy Day.
I heard several Bangs or Buffets, as I thought, given to the Eagle, (for such
I am certain it must have been that held the Ring of my Box in his Beak,)
and then all on a sudden felt my self falling perpendicularly down for
above a Minute, but with such incredible Swiftness that I almost lost my
Breath. My Fall was stopped by a terrible Squash, that sounded louder to
mine Ears than the Cataract of Niagara; after which I was quite in the dark
for another Minute, and then my Box began to rise so high that I could see
Light from the Tops of my Windows. I now perceived that I was fallen
into the Sea. My Box, by the Weight of my Body, the Goods that were in,
and the broad Plates of Iron fixed for Strength at the four Corners of the
Top and Bottom, floated about five Foot deep in Water. I did then, and do
now, suppose that the Eagle which flew away with my Box was pursued by
two or three others, and forced to let me drop while he was defending
himself against the rest, who hoped to share in the Prey. The Plates of Iron
fasten'd at the Bottom of the Box (for those were the strongest) preserved
the Balance while it fell, and hinder'd it from being broken on the Surface
of the Water. Every Joint of it was well grooved; and the Door did not
move on Hinges, but up and down like a Sash, which kept my Closet so
tight that very little Water came in. I got with much Difficulty out of my
Hammock, having first ventured to draw back the Slip-board on the Roof
already mentioned, contrived on Purpose to let in Air, for want of which I
found my self almost stifled.
How often did I then wish my self with my dear Glumdalclitch, from
whom one single Hour had so far divided me! And I may say, with Truth,
that in the midst of my own Misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my
poor Nurse, the Grief she would suffer for my Loss, the Displeasure of the
Queen, and the Ruin of her Fortune. Perhaps many Travellers have not
been under greater Difficulties and Distress than I was at this Juncture,
expecting every Moment to see my Box dashed in Pieces, or at least overset
by the first violent Blast, or a rising Wave. A Breach in one single Pane of
Glass would have been immediate Death: Nor could anything have
preserved the Windows, but the strong Lettice-Wires placed on the out-side
against Accidents in Travelling. I saw the Water ooze in at several
Crannies, although the Leaks were not considerable, and I endeavoured to
stop them as well as I could. I was not able to lift up the Roof of my Closet,
which otherwise I certainly should have done, and sate on the Top of it,
where I might, at least, preserve my self some Hours longer than by being
shut up, as I may call it, in the Hold. Or if I escaped these Dangers, for a
Day or two, what could I expect but a miserable Death of Cold and
Hunger! I was four Hours under these Circumstances, expecting, and
indeed wishing, every Moment to be my last.
I have already told the Reader, that there were two strong Staples fixed
upon that Side of my Box which had no Window, and into which the
Servant who used to carry me on horseback would put a leathern Belt, and
buckle it about his Waste. Being in this disconsolate State, I heard, or at
least thought, I heard some kind of grating Noise on that Side of my Box
where the Staples were fixed, and soon after I began to fancy that the Box
was pulled, or towed along in the Sea; for I now and then felt a sort of
tugging, which made the Waves rise near the Tops of my Windows, leaving
me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint Hopes of Relief, although I
was not able to imagine how it could be brought about. I ventured to
unscrew one of my Chairs, which were always fastned to the Floor; and
having made a hard Shift to screw it down again directly under the slipping
Board that I had lately opened, I mounted on the Chair, and, putting my
Mouth as near as I could to the Hole, I called for Help in a loud Voice, and
in all the Languages I understood. I then fastned my Handkerchief to a
Stick I usually carried, and thrusting it up the Hole, waved it several Times
in the Air, that if any Boat or Ship were near, the Seamen might conjecture
some unhappy Mortal to be shut up in the Box.
I found no Effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my Closet to
be moved along; and in the Space of an Hour, or better, that side of the
Box where the Staples were, and had no Window, struck against something
that was hard. I apprehended it to be a Rock, and found my self tossed
more than ever. I plainly heard a Noise upon the Cover of my Closet, like
that of a Cable, and the grating of it as it passed through the Ring. I then
found my self hoisted up by Degrees, at least three Foot higher than I was
before. Whereupon, I again thrust up my Stick and Handkerchief, calling
for Help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I heard a great Shout
repeated three Times, giving me such Transports of Joy, as are not to be
conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a Trampling over my
Head, and somebody calling through the Hole with a loud Voice in the
English Tongue, If there be any Body below, let them speak. I answered, I
was an Englishman, drawn by ill Fortune into the greatest Calamity that
ever any Creature underwent, and begged by all that was moving, to be
delivered out of the Dungeon I was in. The Voice replied, I was safe, for
my Box was fasten'd to their Ship; and the Carpenter should immediately
come and saw an Hole in the Cover, large enough to pull me out. I
answered, that was needless, and would take up too much Time, for there
was no more to be done, but let one of the Crew put his Finger into the
Ring, and take the Box out of the Sea into the Ship, and so into the
Captain's Cabbin. Some of them upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought I
was mad; others laughed; for indeed it never came into my Head that I was
now among People of my own Stature and Strength. The Carpenter came,
and in a few Minutes sawed a Passage about four Foot square, then let
down a small Ladder, upon which I mounted, and from thence was taken
into the Ship in a very weak Condition.
The Sailors were all in Amazement, and asked me a thousand Questions,
which I had no Inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the Sight
of so many Pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having so long
accustomed mine Eyes to the monstrous Objects I had left. But the Captain,
Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an honest worthy Shropshire Man, observing I was
ready to faint, took me into his Cabbin, gave me a Cordial to comfort me,
and made me turn in upon his own Bed, advising me to take a little Rest, of
which I had great Need. Before I went to sleep I gave him to understand
that I had some valuable Furniture in my Box too good to be lost; a fine
Hammock, an handsome Field-Bed, two Chairs, a Table, and a Cabinet:
That my Closet was hung on all Sides, or rather quilted with Silk and
Cotton : That if he would let one of the Crew bring my Closet into his
Cabbin, I would open it there before him, and shew him my Goods. The
Captain hearing me utter these Absurdities, concluded I was raving:
However, (I suppose to pacify me,) he promised to give Order as I desired,
and going upon Deck sent some of his Men down into my Closet, from
whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up all my Goods, and stripped
off the quilting; but the Chairs, Cabinet, and Bed-sted, being screwed to the
Floor, were much damaged by the Ignorance of the Seamen, who tore them
up by Force. Then they knocked off some of the Boards for the Use of the
Ship, and when they had got all they had a mind for, let the Hulk drop into
the Sea, which by Reason of many Breaches made in the Bottom and Sides,
sunk to rights. And indeed I was glad not to have been a Spectator of the
Havock they made; because I am confident it would have sensibly touched
me, by bringing former Passages into my Mind, which I had rather forget.
I slept some Hours, but perpetually disturbed with Dreams of the Place I
had left, and the Dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking I found my
self much recovered. It was now about eight a-Clock at Night, and the
Captain ordered Supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted too
long. He entertained me with great Kindness, observing me not to look
wildly, or talk inconsistently; and when we were left alone, desired I would
give him a Relation of my Travels, and by what Accident I came to be set
adrift in that monstrous wooden Chest. He said, that about twelve a Clock
at Noon, as he was looking through his Glass, he spied it at a Distance, and
thought it was a Sail, which he had a Mind to make, being not much out of
his Course, in hopes of buying some Biscuit, his own beginning to fall
short. That upon coming nearer, and finding his Error, he sent out his
Long-Boat to discover what I was; that his Men came back in a Fright,
swearing they had seen a swimming House. That he laughed at their Folly,
and went himself in the Boat, ordering his Men to take a strong Cable
along with them. That the Weather being calm, he rowed round me several
Times, observed my Windows, and the Wire-Lattices that defended them.
That he discovered two Staples upon one Side, which was all of Boards,
without any Passage for Light. He then commanded his Men to row up to
that Side, and fastening a Cable to one of the Staples, ordered them to tow
my Chest (as they called it) towards the Ship. When it was there, he gave
Directions to fasten another Cable to the Ring fixed in the Cover, and to
raise up my Chest with Pullies, which all the Sailors were not able to do
above two or three Foot. He said, they saw my Stick and Handkerchief
thrust out of the Hole, and concluded that some unhappy Men must be shut
up in the Cavity. I asked whether he or the Crew had seen any prodigious
Birds in the Air about the Time he first discovered me. To which he
answered, that discoursing this Matter with the Sailors while I was asleep,
one of them said he had observed three Eagles flying towards the North,
but remarked nothing of their being larger than the usual Size, which I
suppose must be imputed to the great Height they were at; and he could not
guess the Reason of my Question. I then asked the Captain how far he
reckoned we might be from Land; he said, by the best Computation he
could make, we were at least an hundred Leagues. I assured him, that he
must be mistaken by almost half, for I had not left the Country from where
I came above two Hours before I dropt into the Sea. Whereupon he began
again to think that my Brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a Hint,
and advised me to go to Bed in a Cabbin he had provided. I assured him I
was well refreshed with his good Entertainment and Company, and as
much in my Senses as ever I was in my Life. He then grew serious, and
desired to ask me freely whether I were not troubled in Mind by the
Consciousness of some enormous Crime, for which I was punished at the
Command of some Prince, by exposing me in that Chest, as great Criminals
in other Countries have been forced to Sea in a leaky Vessel without
Provisions: For although he should be sorry to have taken so ill a Man into
his Ship, yet he would engage his Word to set me safe on Shore in the first
Port where we arrived. He added, that his Suspicions were much increased
by some very absurd Speeches I had delivered at first to the Sailors, and
afterwards to himself, in Relation to my Closet or Chest, as well as by my
odd Looks and Behaviour while I was at Supper.
I begged his Patience to hear me tell my Story, which I faithfully did from
the last time I left England to the Moment he first discovered me. And as
Truth always forceth its Way into rational Minds, so this honest worthy
Gentleman, who had some Tincture of Learning, and very good Sense, was
immediately convinced of my Candour and Veractiy. But further to
confirm all I had said, I entreated him to give Order that my Cabinet
should be brought, of which I had the Key in my Pocket, (for he had
already informed me how the Seamen disposed of my Closet.) I opened it
in his own Presence, and shewed him the small Collection of Rarities I
made in the Country from whence I had been so strangely delivered. There
was a Comb I had contrived out of the Stumps of the King's Beard, and
another of the same Materials, but fixed into a Paring of her Majesty's
Thumb-nail, which served for the Back. There was a Collection of Needles
and Pins from a Foot to half a Yard long: Four Wasp Stings, like Joiners
Tacks: Some Combings of the Queen's Hair: A gold Ring which one Day
she made me a Present of in a most obliging Manner, taking it from her
little Finger, and throwing it over my Head like a Collar. I desired the
Captain would please to accept this Ring in return of his Civilities, which
he absolutely refused. I shewed him a Corn that I had cut off with my own
Hand, from a Maid of Honour's Toe, it was about the Bigness of a Kentish
Pippin, and grown so hard that when I returned to England, I got it
hollowed into a Cup, and set in Silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the
Breeches I had then on, which were made of a Mouse's Skin.
I could force nothing on him but a Footman's Tooth, which I observed him
to examine with great Curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it. He
received it with Abundance of Thanks, more than such a Trifle could
deserve. It was drawn by an unskillful Surgeon in a Mistake, from one of
Glumdalclitch's Men, who was afflicted with the Tooth-ach, but it was as
sound as any in his Head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my Cabinet. It was
about a Foot long, and four Inches in Diameter.
The Captain was very well satisfied with this plain Relation I had given
him, and said, he hoped when we returned to England, I would oblige the
World by putting it in Paper, and making it publick. My Answer was, that
I thought we were already overstocked with Books of Travels: That
nothing could now pass which was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted
some Authors less consulted Truth than their own Vanity, or Interest, or
the Diversion of ignorant Readers. That my Story could contain little
besides common Events, without those ornamental Descriptions of strange
Plants, Trees, Birds, and other Animals, or of the barbarous Customs and
Idolatry of savage People, with which most Writers abound. However, I
thanked him for his good Opinion, and promised to take the Matter into my
Thoughts.
He said, he wondered at one Thing very much, which was, to hear me
speak so loud, asking me whether the King or Queen of that Country were
thick of Hearing. I told him, it was what I had been used to for above two
Years past; and that I admired as much at the Voices of him and his Men,
who seemed to me only to whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough.
But when I spoke in that Country, it was like a Man talking in the Street to
another looking out from the Top of a flteeple, unless when I was placed
on a Table, or held in any Person's Hand, I told him, I had likewise
observed another Thing, that when I first got into the Ship, and the Sailors
stood all about me, I thought they were the most little contemptible
Creatures I had ever beheld. For, indeed, while I was in that Prince's
Country, I could never endure to look in a Glass after mine Eyes had been
accustomed to such prodigious Objects, because the Comparison gave me so
despicable a Conceit of my self. The Captain said, that while we were at
Supper, he observed me look at every Thing with a sort of Wonder, and
that I often seemed hardly able to contain my Laughter, which he knew not
well how to take, but imputed it to some Disorder in my Brain. I answered,
it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his
Dishes of the Size of a silver Three-pence, a Leg of Pork hardly a
Mouthful, a Cup not so big as a Nutshell; and so I went on, describing the
rest of his Houshold-stuff and Provisions after the same Manner. For
although the Queen had ordered a little Equipage of all things necessary for
me while I was in her Service, yet my Ideas were wholly taken up with
what I saw on every side of me, and I winked at my own Littleness as
People do at their own faults. The Captain understood my Raillery very
well, and merrily replied with the old English Proverb, that he doubted
mine Eyes were bigger than my Belly, for he did not observe my Stomach
so good, although I had fasted all Day; and continuing in his Mirth,
protested he would have gladly given an hundred Pounds to have seen my
Closet in the Eagle's Bill, and afterwards in its fall from so great an height
into the Sea; which would certainly have been a most astonishing Object,
worthy to have the Description of it transmitted to future Ages: And the
Comparison of Phaeton was so obvious, that he could not forbear applying
it, although I did not much admire the Conceit.
The Captain having been at Tonquin was in his return to England driven
North eastward to the Latitude of 44 Degrees, and of Longitude 143. But
meeting a Trade Wind two Days after I came on board him, we sailed
Southward a long time, and coasting New-Holland kept our Course West-
south-west, and then South-south-west till we doubled the Cape of Good-
hope. Our Voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the Reader
with a Journal of it. The Captain called in at one or two Ports and sent in
his Long-boat for Provisions and fresh Water, but I never went out of the
Ship till we came into the Downs, which was on the 3d. Day of June 1706,
about nine Months after my Escape. I offered to leave my Goods in
Security for Payment of my Freight; but the Captain protested he would
not receive one Farthing. We took kind leave of each other, and I made
him promise he would come to see me at my House in Redriff. I hired a
Horse and Guide for five Shillings, which I borrowed of the Captain.
As I was on the Road, observing the Littleness of the Houses, the Trees, the
Cattle and the People, I began to think my self in Lilliput. I was afraid of
trampling on every Traveller I met, and often called aloud to have them
stand out of the way, so that I had like to have gotten one or two broken
Heads for my impertinence.
When I came to my own House, for which I was forced to enquire, one of
the Servants opening the Door, I bent down to go in (like a Gooss under a
Gate) for fear of striking my Head. My Wife ran out to embrace me, but I
stooped lower than her Knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able
to reach my Mouth. My Daughter kneeled to ask me blessing, but I could
not see her till she arose, having been so long used to stand with my Head
and Eyes erect to above sixty Foot; and then I went to take her up with one
Hand, by the Waste. I looked down upon the Servants, and one or two
Friends who were in the House, as if they had been Pigmies, and I a Giant.
I told my Wife, she had been too thrifty, for I found she had starved
herself and her Daughter to nothing. In short, I behaved my self so
unaccountably, that they were all of the Captain's Opinion when he first
saw me, and concluded I had lost my Wits. This I mention as an Instance of
the great Power of Habit and Prejudice.
In a little time I and my Family and Friends came to a right Understanding:
But my Wife protested I should never go to Sea any more; although my
evil Destiny so ordered that she had not Power to hinder me, as the Reader
may know hereafter. In the mean time I here conclude the Second Part of
my unfortunate Voyages.
THE END OF THE SECOND PART.
PART III: A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG,
GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN
[Plate III: Laputa]
CHAPTER I.
The Author sets out on his Third Voyage; is taken by Pyrates. The Malice
of a Dutchman. His Arrival at an Island. He is received into Laputa.
I HAD NOT been at home above ten Days, when Captain William
Robinson, a Cornish Man, Commander of the Hope-well, a stout Ship of
three Hundred Tuns, came to my House. I had formerly been Surgeon of
another Ship where he was Master, and a fourth Part Owner, in a Voyage
to the Levant. He had always treated me more like a Brother than an
inferior Officer; and hearing of my Arrival made me a Visit, as I
apprehended only out of Friendship, for nothing passed more than what is
usual after long Absences. But repeating his Visits often, expressing his Joy
to find me in good Health, asking whether I were now settled for Life,
adding that he intended a Voyage to the East-Indies, in two Months, at last
he plainly invited me, though with some Apololgies, to be Surgeon of the
Ship. That I should have another Surgeon under me, besides our two
Mates; that my Salary should be double to the usual Pay; and that having
experienced my Knowledge in Sea-Affairs to be at least equal to his, he
would enter into any Engagement to follow my Advice, as much as if I had
Share in the Command.
He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest a
Man, that I could not reject his Proposal; the Thirst I had of seeing the
World, notwithstanding my past Misfortunes, continuing as violent as ever.
The only Difficulty that remained, was to persuade my Wife, whose
Consent however I at last obtained by the Prospect of Advantage she
proposed to her Children.
We set out the 5th Day of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. George,
the 11th of April 1707. We stayed there three Weeks to refresh our Crew,
many of whom were sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the
Captain resolved to continue some Time; because many of the Goods he
intended to buy were not ready, nor could he expect to be dispatched in
several Months. Therefore in hopes to defray some of the Charges he must
be at, he bought a Sloop, loaded it with several Sorts of Goods, wherewith
the Tonquinese usually trade to the neighbouring Islands; and putting
Fourteen Men on Board, whereof three were of the Country, he appointed
me Master of the Sloop, and gave me Power to traffick, while he transacted
his Affairs at Tonquin.
We had not sailed above three Days, when a great Storm arising, we were
driven five Days to the North-North-East, and then to the East; after which
we had fair Weather, but still with a pretty strong Gale from the West.
Upon the tenth Day we were chased by two Pyrates, who soon overtook us;
for my Sloop was so deep loaden, that she sailed very slow; neither were
we in a Condition to defend our selves.
We were boarded about the same Time by both the Pyrates, who entered
furiously at the Head of their Men; but finding us all prostrate upon our
Faces (for so I gave Order,) they pinioned us with strong Ropes, and
setting a Guard upon us, went to search the Sloop.
I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some Authority,
though he were not Commander of either Ship. He knew us by our
Countenances to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own Language,
swore we should be tyed Back to Back, and thrown into the Sea. I spoke
Dutch tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged him in
consideration of our being Christians and Protestants, of neighbouring
Countries, in strict Alliance, that he would move the Captains to take some
Pity on us. This inflamed his Rage; he repeated his Threatnings, and
turning to his Companions, spoke with great Vehemence, in the Japanese
Language, as I suppose; often using the Word Christianos.
The largest of the two Pyrate Ships was commanded by a Japanese Captain,
who spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to me, and
after several Questions, which I answered in great Humility, he said we
should not die. I made the Captain a very low Bow, and then turning to the
Dutchman , said, I was sorry to find more Mercy in a Heathen, than in a
Brother Christian. But I had soon Reason to repent those foolish Words;
for that malicious Reprobate, having often endeavoured in vain to persuade
both the Captains that I might be thrown into the Sea (which they would
not yield to after the promise made me, that I should not die), however
prevailed so far as to have a Punishment inflicted on me, worse in all
human Appearance than Death it self. My Men were sent by an equal
Division into both the Pyrate-Ships, and my Sloop new manned. As to my
self, it was determined that I should be set a-drift, in a small Canoe, with
Paddles and a Sail, and four Days Provisions; which last the Japanese
Captain was so kind to double out of his own Stores, and would permit no
Man to Search me. I got down into the Canoe, while the Dutchman standing
upon the Deck, loaded me with all the Curses and injurious Terms his
Language could afford.
About an Hour before we saw the Pyrates, I had taken an Observation, and
found we were in the Latitude of 46 N. and of longitude 183. When I was
at some Distance from the Pyrates, I discovered by my Pocket-Glass
several Islands to the South-East. I set up my Sail, the Wind being fair,
with a Design to reach the nearest of those Islands, which I made a Shift to
do in about three Hours. It was all rocky; however I got many Birds Eggs;
and striking Fire, I kindled some Heath and dry Sea Weed, by which I
roasted my Eggs. I eat no other Supper, being resolved to spare my
Provisions as much as I could. I passed the Night under the Shelter of a
Rock, strowing some Heath under me, and slept pretty well.
The next Day I sailed to another Island, and thence to a third and fourth,
sometimes using my Sail, and sometimes my Paddles. But not to trouble the
Reader with a particular Account of my Distresses; let it suffice that on the
5th Day, I arrived at the last Island in my Sight, which lay South-South-
East to the former.
This Island was at a greater Distance than I expected, and I did not reach it
in less than five Hours. I encompassed it almost round before I could find a
convenient Place to land in, which was a small Creek, about three Times
the Wideness of my Canoe. I found the Island to be all rocky, only a little
intermingled with Tufts of Grass and sweet smelling Herbs. I took out my
small Provisions, and after having refreshed myself, I secured the
Remainder in a Cave, whereof there were great Numbers. I gathered
plenty of Eggs upon the Rocks, and got a Quantity of dry Seaweed and
parched Grass, which I designed to kindle the next Day, and roast my Eggs
as well as I could. (For I had about me my Flint, Steel, Match, and
Burning-glass.) I lay all Night in the Cave where I had lodged my
Provisions. My Bed was the same dry Grass and Sea-weed which I intended
for Fewel. I slept very little; for the Disquiets of my Mind prevailed over
my Wearyness, and kept me awake. I considered how impossible it was to
preserve my Life, in so desolate a Place; and how miserable my End must
be. Yet I found my self so listless and desponding that I had not the Heart
to rise; and before I could get Spirits enough to creep out of my Cave, the
Day was far advanced. I walked a while among the Rocks, the Sky was
perfectly clear, and the Sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my Face from
it: When all of a Sudden it became obscured, as I thought, in a Manner
very different from what happens by the Interposition of a Cloud. I turned
back, and perceived a vast Opake Body between me and the Sun, moving
forwards towards the Island: It seemed to be about two Miles high, and hid
the Sun six or seven Minutes, but I did not observe the Air to be much
colder, or the Sky more darkned, than if I had stood under the shade of a
Mountain. As it approached nearer over the Place where I was, it appeared
to be a firm Substance, the Bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright
from the Reflexion of the Sea below. I stood upon a Height about two
Hundred Yards from the Shoar, and saw this vast Body descending almost
to a Parallel with me, at less than an English Mile Distance. I took out my
Pocket-Perspective, and could plainly discover Numbers of People moving
up and down the Sides of it, which appeared to be sloping, but what those
People were doing, I was not able to distinguish.
The natural Love of Life gave me some inward Motions of Joy; and I was
ready to entertain a Hope, that this Adventure might some Way or other
help to deliver me from the desolate Place and Condition I was in. But, at
the same Time, the Reader can hardly conceive my Astonishment, to
behold an Island in the Air, inhabited by Men, who were able (as it should
seem) to raise or sink, or put it into a progressive Motion, as they pleased.
But not being, at that Time, in a Disposition to philosophise upon this
Phaenomenon, I rather chose to observe what Course the Island would
take; because it seemed for a while to stand still. Yet, soon after it advanced
nearer; and I could see the Sides of it, encompassed with several Gradations
of Galleries and Stairs, at certain Intervals, to descend from one to the
other. In the lowest Gallery, I beheld some People fishing with long
Angling Rods, and others looking on. I waved my Cap, (for my Hat was
long since worn out,) and my Handkerchief towards the Island; and upon
its nearer approach, I called and shouted with the utmost Strength of my
Voice; and then looking circumspectly, I beheld a Crowd gather to that
Side which was most in my View. I found by their pointing towards me
and to each other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no
Return to my Shouting. But I could see four or five Men running in great
Haste up the Stairs to the top of the Island, who then disappeared. I
happened rightly to conjecture, that these were sent for Orders to some
Person in Authority upon this Occasion.
The Number of People increased; and in less than half an Hour the Island
was moved and raised in such a Manner, that the lowest Gallery appeared
in a Parallel of less than an Hundred Yards Distance from the Height where
I stood. I then put my self into the most supplicating Postures, and spoke in
the humblest Accent, but received no Answer. Those who stood nearest
over against me, seemed to be Persons of Distinction, as I supposed by
their Habit. They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon
me. At length one of them called out in a clear, polite, smooth Dialect, not
unlike in Sound to the Italian; and therefore I returned an Answer in that
Language, hoping at least that the Cadence might be more agreeable to his
Ears. Although neither of us understood the other, yet my Meaning was
easily known, for the People saw the Distress I was in.
They made Signs for me to come down from the Rock, and go towards the
Shoar, which I accordingly did; and the flying Island being raised to a
convenient Height, the Verge directly over me, a Chain was let down from
the lowest Gallery, with a Seat fastned to the Bottom, to which I fixed my
self, and was drawn up by Pullies.
CHAPTER II.
The Humours and Dispositions of the Laputians described. An Account of
their Learning. Of the King and his Court. The Author's Reception there.
The Inhabitants subject to Fears and Disquietudes. An Account of the
Women.
[A]T MY ALIGHTING I was surrounded by a Crowd of People, but those
who stood nearest seemed to be of better Quality. They beheld me with all
the Marks and Circumstances of wonder; neither indeed was I much in
their Debt; having never till then seen a Race of Mortals so singular in
their Shapes, Habits, and Countenances. Their Heads were all reclined
either to the Right, or the Left; one of their Eyes turned inward, and the
other directly up to the Zenith. Their outward Garments were adorned
with the Figures of Suns, Moons, and Stars, interwoven with those of
Fiddles, Flutes, Harps, Trumpets, Guittars, Harpsichords, and many more
Instruments of Musick, unknown to us in Europe. I observed here and
there many in the Habit of Servants, with a blown Bladder fastned like a
Flail to the End of a short Stick, which they carried in their Hands. In each
Bladder was a small Quantity of dried Pease, or little Pebbles, (as I was
afterwards informed.) With these Bladders they now and then flapped the
Mouths and Ears of those who stood near them, of which Practice I could
not then conceive the Meaning. It seems the Minds of these People are so
taken up with intense Speculations, that they neither can speak, nor attend
to the Discourses of others, without being rouzed by some external Taction
upon the Organs of Speech and Hearing; for which Reason those Persons
who are able to afford it always keep a Flapper (the Original is Climenole)
in their Family, as one of their Domesticks; nor ever walk abroad or make
Visits without him. And the Business of this Officer is, when two or more
Persons are in Company, gently to strike with his Bladder the Mouth of
him who is to speak, and the right Ear of him or them to whom the
Speaker addresses himself. This Flapper is likewise employed diligently to
attend his Master in his Walks, and upon Occasion to give him a soft Flap
on his Eyes; because he is always so wrapped up in Cogitation, that he is in
manifest Danger of falling down every Precipice, and bouncing his Head
against every Post; and in the Streets, of jostling others, or being jostled
himself into the Kennel.
It was necessary to give the Reader this Information, without which he
would be at the same Loss with me, to understand the Proceedings of these
People, as they conducted me up the Stairs, to the Top of the Island, and
from thence to the Royal Palace. While we were ascending, they forgot
several Times what they were about, and left me to my self, till their
Memories were again rouzed by their Flappers; for they appeared
altogether unmoved by the Sight of my foreign Habit and Countenance, and
by the Shouts of the Vulgar, whose Thoughts and Minds were more
disengaged.
At last we entered the Palace, and proceeded into the Chamber of Presence;
where I saw the King seated on his Throne, attended on each Side by
Persons of prime Quality. Before the Throne, was a large Table filled with
Globes and Spheres, and Mathematical Instruments of all Kinds. His
Majesty took not the least Notice of us, although our Entrance were not
without sufficient Noise, by the Concourse of all Persons belonging to the
Court. But he was then deep in a Problem, and we attended at least an
Hour, before he could solve it. There stood by him on each Side, a young
Page, with Flaps in their Hands; and when they saw he was at Leisure, one
of them gently struck his Mouth, and the other his right Ear; at which he
Started like one awakened on the sudden, and looking towards me and the
Company I was in, recollected the Occasion of our coming, whereof he had
been informed before. He spoke some Words, whereupon immediately a
young Man with a flap came up to my Side, and flapped me gently on the
Right Ear; but I made Signs, as well as I could, that I had no Occasion for
such an Instrument; which, as I afterwards found, gave his Majesty and the
whole Court a very mean Opinion of my Understanding. The King, as far
as I could conjecture, asked me several Questions, and I addressed my self
to him in all the Languages I had. When it was found, that I could neither
understand nor be understood, I was conducted by the his Order to an
Apartment in his Palace, (this Prince being distinguished above all his
Predecessors for his Hospitality to Strangers, ) where two Servants were
appointed to attend me. My Dinner was brought, and four Persons of
Quality, whom I remembered to have seen very near the King's Person,
did me the Honour to dine with me. We had two Courses, of three Dishes
each. In the first Course, there was a Shoulder of Mutton, cut into an
AEquilateral Triangle; a Piece of Beef into a Rhomboides; and a Pudding
into a Cycloid. The second Course was two Ducks, trussed up into the
Form of Fiddles; Sausages and Puddings resembling Flutes and Haut-boys,
and a Breast of Veal in the Shape of a Harp. The Servants cut our Bread
into Cones, Cylinders, Parallelograms, and several other Mathematical
Figures.
While we were at Dinner, I made bold to ask the Names of several Things
in their Language; and those noble Persons, by the Assistance of their
Flappers, delighted to give me Answers, hoping to raise my Admiration of
their great Abilities, if I could be brought to converse with them. I was
soon able to call for Bread and Drink, or whatever else I wanted.
After Dinner my Company withdrew, and a Person was sent to me by the
King's Order, attended by a Flapper. He brought with him Pen, Ink, and
Paper, and three or four Books; giving me to understand by Signs, that he
was sent to teach me the Language. We sat together four Hours, in which
Time I wrote down a great Number of Words in Columns, with the
Translations over against them. I likewise made a Shift to learn several
short Sentences. For my tutor would order one of my Servants to fetch
something, to turn about, to make a Bow, to sit, or stand, or walk, and the
like. Then I took down the Sentence in Writing. He shewed me also in one
of his Books, the Figures of the Sun, Moon, and Stars, the Zodiack, the
Tropics, and Polar Circles, together with the Denominations of many
Figures of Planes and Solids. He gave me the Names and Descriptions of all
the Musical Instruments, and the general Terms of Art in playing on each
of them. After he had left me, I placed all my Words with their
Interpretations in alphabetical Order. And thus in a few Days, by the help
of a very Faithful Memory, I got some Insight into their Language.
The Word, which I interpret the Flying or Floating Island, is in the
Original Laputa; whereof I could never learn the true Etymology. Lap in
the old obsolete Language signifieth High, and Untuh a Governor; from
which they say by Corruption was derived Laputa, from Lapuntuh. But I
do not approve of this Derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I
ventured to offer to the Learned among them a Conjecture of my own, that
Laputa was quasi Lap outed; Lap signifying properly the dancing of the
Sun Beams in the Sea; and outed a Wing, which however I shall not
obtrude, but submit to the judicious Reader.
Those to whom the King had entrusted me, observing how ill I was clad,
ordered a Taylor to come next Morning, and take my Measure for a Suit of
Cloths. This Operator did his Office after a different Manner from those of
his Trade in Europe. He first took my Altitude by a Quadrant, and then
with Rule and Compasses, described the Dimensions and Out-Lines of my
whole Body; all which he entered upon Paper, and in six Days brought my
Cloths very ill made, and quite out of Shape, by happening to mistake a
Figure in the Calculation. But my Comfort was, that I observed such
Accidents very frequent, and little regarded.
During my Confinement for want of Cloaths, and by an Indisposition that
held me some Days longer, I much enlarged my Dictionary; and when I
went next to Court, was able to understand many Things the King spoke,
and to return him some Kind of Answers. His Majesty had given Orders
that the Island should move North-East and by East, to the vertical Point
over Lagado, the Metropolis of the whole Kingdom, below upon the firm
Earth. It was about Ninety Leagues distant, and our Voyage lasted four
Days and an Half. I was not in the least sensible of the progressive Motion
made in the Air by the Island. On the second Morning, about Eleven
o'Clock, the King himself in Person, attended by his Nobility, Courtiers,
and Officers, having prepared all their Musical Instruments, played on
them for three Hours without Intermission; so that I was quite stunned with
the Noise; neither could I possibly guess the Meaning, till my Tutor
informed me. He said, that the People of their Island had their Ears adapted
to hear the Musick of the Spheres, which always played at certain Periods;
and the Court was now prepared to bear their Part in whatever Instrument
they most excelled.
In our Journey towards Lagado the Capital City, his Majesty ordered that
the Island should stop over certain Towns and Villages, from whence he
might receive the Petitions of his Subjects. And to this Purpose, several
Packthreads were let down with small Weights at the Bottom. On these
Packthreads, the People strung their Petitions, which mounted up directly
like the Scraps of Paper fastned by School-boys at the End of the String
that holds their Kite. Sometimes we received wine and Victuals from
below, which were drawn up by Pullies.
The Knowledge I had in Mathematicks gave me great Assistance in
acquiring their Phraseology, which depended much upon that Science and
Musick; and in the latter I was not unskilled. Their Ideas are perpetually
conversant in Lines and Figures. If they would, for Example, praise the
Beauty of a Woman, or any other Animal, they describe it by Rhombs,
Circles, Parallelograms, Ellipses, and other Geometrical Terms; or by
Words of Art drawn from Musick, needless here to repeat. I observed in
the King's Kitchen all sorts of Mathematical and Musical Instruments, after
the Figures of which they cut up the Joynts that were served to his
Majesty's Table.
Their Houses are very ill built, the Walls bevil without one right Angle in
any Apartment; and this Defect ariseth from the Contempt they bear to
practical Geometry; which they despise as vulgar and mechanick, those
Instructions they give being too refined for the Intellectuals of their
Workmen; which occasions perpetual Mistakes. And although they are
dexterous enough upon a Piece of Paper in the Management of the Rule,
the Pencil, and the Divider, yet in the common Actions and Behaviour of
Life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward, and unhandy People, nor so
slow and perplexed in their Conceptions upon all other Subjects, except
those of Mathematicks and Musick. They are very bad Reasoners, and
vehemently given to Opposition, unless when they happen to be of the right
Opinion, which is seldom their Case. Imagination, Fancy, and Invention,
they are wholly Strangers to, nor have any Words in their Language by
which those Ideas can be expressed; the whole Compass of their Thoughts
and Mind, being shut up within the two forementioned Sciences.
Most of them, and especially those who deal in the Astronomical Part, have
great Faith in judicial Astrology, although they are ashamed to own it
publickly. But, what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether
unaccountable, was the strong Disposition I observed in them towards
News and Politicks, perpetually enquiring into public Affairs, giving their
Judgements in Matters of State; and passionately disputing every Inch of a
Party Opinion. I have indeed observed the same Disposition among most of
the Mathematicians I have known in Europe; although I could never
discover the least Analogy between the two Sciences; unless those People
suppose, that because the smallest Circle hath as many Degrees as the
largest, therefore the Regulation and Management of the World require no
more Abilities than the handling and turning of a Globe. But, I rather take
this Quality to spring from a very common Infirmity of human Nature,
inclining us to be more curious and conceited in Matters where we have
least Concern, and for which we are least adapted either by Study or
Nature.
These People are under continual Disquietudes, never enjoying a Minute's
Peace of Mind; and their Disturbances proceed from Causes which very
little affect the rest of Mortals. Their Apprehensions arise from several
Changes they dread in the Celestial Bodies. For Instance; that the Earth by
the continual Approaches of the Sun towards it, must in Course of Time be
absorbed or swallowed up. That the Face of the Sun will by Degrees be
encrusted with its own Effluvia, and give no more Light to the World.
That, the Earth very narrowly escaped a Brush from the Tail of the last
Comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to Ashes; and that the next,
which they have calculated for One and Thirty Years hence, will probably
destroy us. For, if in its Perihelion it should approach within a certain
Degree of the Sun, (as by their Calculations they have Reason to dread) it
will conceive a Degree of Heat ten Thousand Times more intense than that
of red hot glowing Iron; and in its Absence from the Sun, carry a blazing
Tail Ten Hundred Thousand and Fourteen Miles long; through which if the
Earth should pass at the Distance of one Hundred Thousand Miles from the
Nucleus or main Body of the Comet, it must in its Passage be set on Fire,
and reduced to Ashes. That the Sun daily spending its Rays without any
Nutriment to supply them, will at last be wholly consumed and annihilated;
which must be attended with the Destruction of this Earth, and of all the
Planets that receive their Light from it.
They are so perpetually alarmed with the Apprehensions of these and the
like impending Dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in their Beds,
nor have any Relish for the common Pleasures or Amusements of Life.
When they meet an Acquaintance in the Morning, the first Question is
about the Sun's Health; how he looked at his Setting and Rising, and what
Hopes they have to avoid the Stroak of the approaching Comet. This
conversation they are apt to run into with the same Temper that boys
discover, in delighting to hear terrible Stories of Sprites and Hobgoblins,
which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to Bed for fear.
The Women of the Island have Abundance of Vivacity: they contemn their
Husbands, and are exceedingly fond of Strangers, whereof there is always a
considerable Number from the Continent below, attending at Court, either
upon Affairs of the several Towns and Corporations, or their own
particular Occasions; but are much despised, because they want the same
Endowments. Among these the Ladies chuse their Gallants: But the
Vexation is, that they act with too much Ease and Security; for the Husband
is always so rapt in Speculation, that the Mistress and Lover may proceed
to the greatest Familiarities before his Face, if he be but provided with
Paper and Implements, and without his Flapper at his Side.
The Wives and Daughters lament their Confinement to the Island, although
I think it the most delicious Spot of Ground in the World; and although
they live here in the greatest Plenty and Magnificence, and are allowed to
do whatever they please: They long to see the World, and take the
Diversions of the Metropolis, which they are not allowed to do without a
particular License from the King; and this is not easy to obtain, because the
People of Quality have found by frequent Experience, how hard it is to
persuade their Women to return from below. I was told, that a great Court
Lady, who had several Children, is married to the prime Minister, the
richest Subject in the Kingdom, a very graceful Person, extremely fond of
her, and lives in the finest Palace of the Island; went down to Lagado, on
the Pretense of Health, there hid herself for several Months, till the King
sent a Warrant to search for her; and she was found in an obscure Eating-
House all in rags, having pawned her Cloths to maintain an old deformed
Footman, who beat her every Day, and in whose Company she was taken
much against her Will. And although her Husband received her with all
possible Kindness, and without the least Reproach; she soon after contrived
to steal down again with all her Jewels, to the same Gallant, and has not
been heard of since.
This may perhaps pass with the Reader rather for an European or English
Story, than for one of a Country so remote. But he may please to consider,
that the Caprices of Womankind are not limited by any Climate or Nation;
and that they are much more uniform than can be easily imagined.
In about a Month's Time I had made a tolerable Proficiency in their
Language, and was able to answer most of the King's Questions, when I
had the Honour to attend him. His Majesty discovered not the least
Curiosity to enquire into the Laws, Government, History, Religion, or
Manners of the Countries where I had been; but confined his Questions to
the State of Mathematicks, and received the Account I gave him with great
Contempt and Indifference, though often rouzed by his Flapper on each
Side.
CHAPTER III.
A Ph¾nomenon solved by modern Philosophy and Astronomy. The
Laputias great Improvements in the latter. The King's Method of
suppressing Insurrections.
I DESIRED Leave of this Prince to see the Curiosities of the Island; which
he was graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my Tutor to attend me. I
chiefly wanted to know to what Cause in Art or in Nature, it owed its
several Motions; whereof I will now give a philosophical Account to the
Reader.
The flying or floating Island is exactly circular; its Diameter 7837 Yards,
or about four Miles and an Half, and consequently contains ten Thousand
Acres. It is three Hundred Yards thick. The Bottom or under Surface,
which appears to those who view it from below, is one even regular Plate
of Adamant, shooting up to the Height of about two Hundred Yards. Above
it lye the several Minerals in their usual Order; and over all is a Coat of
rich Mould, ten or twelve Foot deep. The Declivity of the upper Surface,
from the Circumference to the Center, is the natural Cause why all the
Dews and Rains which fall upon the Island, are conveyed in small Rivulets
toward the Middle, where they are emptyed into four large Basons, each of
about Half a Mile in Circuit, and two Hundred Yards distant from the
Center. From these Basons the Water is continually exhaled by the Sun in
the Day-time, which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it is
in the Power of the Monarch to raise the Island above the Region of Clouds
and Vapors, he can prevent the falling of Dews and Rains whenever he
pleases. For the highest Clouds cannot rise above two Miles, as Naturalists
agree, at least they were never known to do so in that Country.
At the Center of the Island there is a Chasm about fifty Yards in Diameter,
from whence the Astronomers descend into a large Dome, which is
therefore called Flandona Gagnole, or the Astronomer's Cave; situated at
the Depth of an Hundred Yards beneath the upper Surface of the Adamant.
In this Cave are Twenty Lamps continually burning, which from the
Reflection of the Adamant cast a strong Light into every Part. The Place is
stored with great Variety of Sextants, Quadrants, Telescopes, Astrolabes,
and other Astronomical Instruments. But the greatest Curiosity, upon
which the Fate of the Island depends, is a Loadstone of a prodigious Size,
in Shape resembling a Weaver's Shuttle. It is in Length six Yards, and in
the thickest Part at least three Yards over. This Magnet is sustained by a
very strong Axle of Adamant passing through its Middle, upon which it
plays, and is poized so exactly that the weakest Hand can turn it. It is
hooped round with a hollow Cylinder of Adamant, four Foot deep, as
many thick, and twelve Yards in Diameter, placed horizontally, and
supported by Eight Adamantine Feet, each six Yards high. In the Middle of
the Concave Side there is a Groove Twelve Inches deep, in which the
Extremities of the Axle are lodged, and turned round as there is Occasion.
The Stone cannot be moved from its Place by any Force, because the Hoop
and its Feet are one continued Piece with that Body of Adamant which
constitutes the Bottom of the Island.
By means of this Load-stone, the Island is made to rise and fall, and move
from one Place to another. For, with respect to that Part of the Earth over
which the Monarch presides, the Stone is endued at one of its Sides with an
attractive Power, and at the other with a repulsive. Upon placing the
Magnet erect with its attracting End towards the Earth, the Island descends;
but when the repelling Extremity points downwards, the Island mounts
directly upwards. When the Position of the Stone is oblique, the Motion of
the Island is so too. For in this Magnet the Forces always act in Lines
parallel to its Direction.
[Plate 4: Balnibarbi]
By this oblique Motion the Island is conveyed to different Parts of the
Monarch's Dominions. To explain the Manner of its Progress, let A B
represent a Line drawn cross the Dominions of Balnibarbi; let the Line c d
represent the Loadstone, of which let d be the repelling End, and c the
attracting End, the Island being over C; let the Stone be placed in the
Position c d, with its repelling End downwards; then the Island will be
driven upwards obliquely towards D. When it is arrived at D, let the Stone
be turned upon its Axle till its attracting End points towards E, and then
the Island will be carried obliquely towards E; where if the Stone be again
turned upon its Axle till it stands in the Position E F, with its repelling
Point downwards, the Island will rise obliquely towards F, where by
directing the attracting End towards G, the Island may be carried to G, and
from G to H, by turning the Stone, so as to make its repelling Extremity
point directly downwards. And thus by changing the Situation of the Stone
as often as there is Occasion, the Island is made to rise and fall by Turns in
an oblique Direction; and by those alternate Risings and Fallings (the
Obliquity being not considerable), is conveyed from one Part of the
Dominions to the other.
But it must be observed, that this Island cannot move beyond the Extent of
the Dominions below; nor can it rise above the Height of four Miles. For
which the Astronomers (who have written large Systems concerning the
Stone) assign the following Reason: That the Magnetick Virtue does not
extend beyond the Distance of four Miles, and that the Mineral which acts
upon the Stone in the Bowels of the Earth, and in the Sea about six Leagues
distant from the Shoar, is not diffused through the whole Globe, but
terminated with the Limits of the King's Dominions: And it was easy from
the great Advantage of such a superior Situation, for a Prince to bring
under his Obedience whatever Country lay within the Attraction of that
Magnet.
When the Stone is put parallel to the Plane of the Horizon, the Island
standeth still; for in that Case, the Extremities of it being at equal Distance
from the Earth, act with equal Force, the one in drawing downwards, the
other in pushing upwards; and consequently no Motion can ensue.
This Load-stone is under the Care of certain Astronomers, who from Time
to Time give it such Positions as the Monarch directs. They spend the
greatest Part of their Lives in observing the celestial Bodies, which they do
by the Assistance of Glasses, far excelling ours in Goodness. For, although
their largest Telescopes do not exceed three Feet, they magnify much more
than those of a Hundred with us, and shew the Stars with greater Clearness.
This Advantage hath enabled them to extend their Discoveries much farther
than our Astronomers in Europe. They have made a Catalogue of ten
Thousand fixed Stars, whereas the largest of ours do not contain above one
third Part of that Number. They have likewise discovered two lesser Stars,
or Satellites, which revolve about Mars; whereof the innermost is distant
from the Center of the primary Planet exactly three of his Diameters, and
the outermost five; the former revolves in the space of ten Hours, and the
latter in Twenty-one and an Half; so that the Squares of their periodical
Times, are very near in the same Proportion with the Cubes of their
Distance from the Center of Mars; which evidently shews them to be
governed by the same Law of Gravitation, that influences the other
heavenly Bodies.
They have observed Ninety-three different Comets, and settled their
Periods with great Exactness. If this be true, (and they affirm it with great
Confidence) it is much to be wished that their Observations were made
publick, whereby the Theory of Comets, which at present is very lame and
defective, might be brought to the same Perfection with other Parts of
Astronomy.
The King would be the most absolute Prince in the Universe, if he could
but prevail on a Ministry to join with him, but these having their Estates
below on the Continent, and considering that the Office of a Favourite hath
a very uncertain Tenure, would never consent to the enslaving their
Country.
If any Town should engage in Rebellion or Mutiny, fall into violent
Factions, or refuse to pay the usual Tribute; the King hath two Methods of
reducing them to Obedience. The first and the mildest Course is by keeping
the Island hovering over such a Town, and the Lands about it; whereby he
can deprive them of the Benefit of the Sun and the Rain, and consequently
afflict the Inhabitants with Dearth and Diseases. And if the Crime deserve
it, they are at the same time pelted from above with great Stones, against
which they have no Defence, but by creeping into Cellars or Caves, while
the Roofs of their Houses are beaten to Pieces. But if they still continue
obstinate, or offer to raise Insurrections, he proceeds to the last Remedy,
by letting the Island drop directly upon their Heads, which makes a
universal Destruction both of Houses and Men. However, this is an
Extremity to which the Prince is seldom driven, neither indeed is he
willing, to put it in Execution; nor dare his Ministers advise him to an
Action, which as it would render them odious to the People, so it would be
a great Damage to their own Estates that lie all below; for the Island is the
King's Demesne.
But there is still indeed a more weighty Reason, why the Kings of this
Country have been always averse from executing so terrible an Action,
unless upon the utmost Necessity. For if the Town intended to be destroyed
should have in it any tall Rocks, as it generally falls out in the larger Cities;
a Situation probably chosen at first with a View to prevent such a
Catastrophe:; Or if it abound in high Spires or Pillars of Stone, a sudden
Fall might endanger the Bottom or under Surface of the Island, which,
although it consists as I have said, of one entire Adamant two hundred
Yards thick, might happen to crack by too great a Choque, or burst by
approaching too near the Fires from the Houses below; as the Backs both of
Iron and Stone will often do in our Chimneys. Of all this the People are
well apprized, and understand how far to carry their Obstinacy, where
their Liberty or Property is concerned. And the King, when he is highest
provoked, and most determined to press a City to Rubbish, orders the
Island to descend with great Gentleness, out of a Pretence of Tenderness to
his People, but indeed for fear of breaking the Adamantine Bottom; in
which Case it is the Opinion of all their Philosophers, that the Load-stone
could no longer hold it up, and the whole Mass would fall to the Ground.
[About three Years before my Arrival among them, while the King was in
his Progress over his Dominions, there happened an extraordinary
Accident which had like to have put a Period to the Fate of that Monarchy,
at least as it is now instituted. Lindalino the second City in the Kingdom
was the first his Majesty visited in his Progress. Three Days after his
Departure, the Inhabitants, who had often complained of great
Oppressions, shut the Town Gates, seized on the Governor, and with
incredible Speed and Labour erected four large Towers, one at every
Corner of the City (which is an exact Square) equal in Heigth to a strong
pointed Rock that stands directly in the Center of the City. Upon the Top of
each Tower, as well as upon the Rock, they fixed a great Loadstone, and in
case their Design should fail, they had provided a vast Quantity of the most
combustible Fewel, hoping to burst therewith the adamantine Bottom of the
Island, if the Loadstone Project should miscarry.
It was eight Months before the King had perfect Notice that the
Lindalinians were in Rebellion. He then commanded that the Island should
be wafted over the City. The People were unanimous, and had laid in Store
of Provisions, and a great River runs through the middle of the Town. The
King hovered over them several Days to deprive them of the Sun and the
Rain. He ordered many Packthreads to be let down, yet not a Person
offered to send up a Petition, but instead thereof, very bold Demands, the
Redress of all their Grievances, great Immunitys, the Choice of their own
Governor, and other like Exorbitances. Upon which his Majesty
commanded all the Inhabitants of the Island to cast great Stones from the
lower Gallery into the Town; but the Citizens had provided against this
Mischief by conveying their Persons and Effects into the four Towers, and
other strong Buildings, and Vaults under Ground.
The King being now determined to reduce this proud People, ordered that
the Island should descend gently within fourty Yards of the Top of the
Towers and Rock. This was accordingly done; but the Officers employed in
that Work found the Descent much speedier than usual, and by turning the
Loadstone could not without great Difficulty keep it in a firm Position, but
found the Island inclining to fall. They sent the King immediate
Intelligence of this astonishing Event and begged his Majesty's Permission
to raise the Island higher; the King consented, a general Council was called,
and the Officers of the Loadstone ordered to attend. One of the oldest and
expertest among them obtained leave to try an Experiment. He took a
strong Line of an hundred Yards, and the Island being raised over the
Town above the attracting Power they had felt, He fastened a Piece of
Adamant to the End of his Line, which had in it a Mixture of Iron mineral,
of the same Nature with that whereof the Bottom or lower Surface of the
Island is composed, and from the lower Gallery let it down slowly towards
the Top of the Towers. The Adamant was not descended four Yards,
before the Officer felt it drawn so strongly downward, that he could hardly
pull it back. He then threw down several small Pieces of Adamant, and
observed that they were all violently attracted by the Top of the Tower.
The same Experiment was made on the other three Towers, and on the
Rock with the same Effect.
This Incident broke entirely the King's Measures and (to dwell no longer
on other Circumstances) he was forced to give the Town their own
Conditions.
I was assured by a great Minister, that if the Island had descended so near
the Town, as not to be able to raise it self, the Citizens were determined to
fix it for ever, to kill the King and all his Servants, and entirely change the
Government.]
By a fundamental Law of this Realm, neither the King, nor either of his
two elder Sons, are permitted to leave the Island; nor the Queen, till she is
past Child-bearing.
CHAPTER IV.
The Author leaves Laputa, is conveyed to Balnibarbi, arrives at the
Metropolis. A Description of the Metropolis and the Country adjoining.
The Author hospitably received by a great Lord. His Conversation with
that Lord.
ALTHOUGH I CANNOT say that I was ill treated in this Island, yet I must
confess I thought my self too much neglected, not without some Degree of
Contempt. For neither Prince nor People appeared to be curious in any
Part of Knowledge, except Mathematicks and Musick, wherein I was far
their inferior, and upon that Account very little regarded.
On the other Side, after having seen all the Curiosities of the Island, I was
very desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those People. They were
indeed excellent in two Sciences for which I have great Esteem, and
wherein I am not unversed; but at the same time so abstracted and involved
in Speculation, that I never met with such disagreeable Companions. I
conversed only with Women, Tradesmen, Flappers, and Court-Pages,
during two Months of my Abode there, by which at last I rendered my self
extremely contemptible; yet these were the only People from whom I could
ever receive a reasonable Answer.
I had obtained by hard Study a good Degree of Knowledge in their
Language: I was weary of being confined to an Island where I received so
little Countenance; and resolved to leave it with the first Opportunity.
There was a great Lord at Court, nearly related to the King, and for that
Reason alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the most
ignorant and stupid Person among them. He had performed many eminent
services for the Crown, had great natural and acquired Parts, adorned with
Integrity and Honour, but so ill an Ear for Musick, that his Detractors
reported he had been often known to beat Time in the wrong Place; neither
could his Tutors without extreme Difficulty teach him to demonstrate the
most easy Proposition in the Mathematicks. He was pleased to shew me
many Marks of Favour, often did me the Honour of a Visit, desired to be
informed in the Affairs of Europe, the Laws and Customs, the Manners
and Learning of the several Countries where I had travelled. He listened to
me with great Attention, and made very wise Observations on all I spoke.
He had two Flappers attending him for State, but never made use of them
except at Court, and in Visits of Ceremony; and would always command
them to withdraw when we were alone together.
I entreated this illustrious Person to intercede in my Behalf with his
Majesty for Leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was pleased to
tell me, with Regret: For, indeed he had made me several Offers very
advantageous, which however I refused with Expressions of the highest
Acknowledgment.
On the 16th Day of February, I took Leave of his Majesty and the Court.
The King made me a Present to the Value of about two Hundred Pounds
English; and my Protector his Kinsman as much more, together with a
Letter of Recommendation to a Friend of his in Lagado, the Metropolis:
The Island being then hovering over a Mountain about two Miles from it, I
was let down from the lowest Gallery, in the same Manner as I had been
taken up.
The Continent, as far as it is subject to the Monarch of the Flying Island,
passeth under the general Name of Balnibarbi; and the Metropolis, as I said
before, is called Lagado. I felt some little Satisfaction in finding my self on
firm Ground. I walked to the City without any Concern, being clad like
one of the Natives, and sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon
found out the Person's House to whom I was recommended; presented my
Letter from his Friend the Grandee in the Island, and was received with
much Kindness. This great Lord, whose Name was Munodi, ordered me an
Apartment in his own House, where I continued during my Stay, and was
entertained in a most hospitable Manner.
The next Morning after my Arrival, he took me in his Chariot to see the
Town, which is about half the Bigness of London, but the Houses very
strangely built, and most of them out of Repair. The People in the Streets
walked fast, looked wild, their Eyes fixed, and were generally in Rags. We
passed through one of the Town Gates, and went about three Miles into the
Country, where I saw many Labourers working with several Sorts of Tools
in the Ground, but he was not able to conjecture what they were about;
neither did I observe any Expectation either of Corn or Grass, although the
Soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring at these odd
Appearances both in Town and Country; and I made bold to desire my
Conductor, that he would be pleased to explain to me what could be meant
by so many busy Heads, Hands, and Faces, both in the Streets and the
Fields, because I did not discover any good Effects they produced; but on
the contrary, I never knew a Soil so unhappily cultivated, Houses so ill
contrived and so ruinous, or a People whose Countenances and Habit
expressed so much Misery and Want.
This Lord Munodi was a Person of the first Rank, and had been some
Years Governor of Lagado; but by a Cabal of Ministers was discharged for
Insufficiency. However, the King treated him with Tenderness, as a well-
meaning Man, but of a low contemptible Understanding.
When I gave that free Censure of the Country and its Inhabitants, he made
no further Answer than by telling me, that I had not been long enough
among them to form a Judgement: and that the different Nations of the
World had different Customs; with other common Topicks to the same
Purpose. But when we returned to his Palace, he asked me how I liked the
Building, what Absurdities I observed, and what Quarrel I had with the
Dress or Looks of his Domesticks. This he might safely do; because every
Thing about him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I answered, that his
Excellency's Prudence, Quality, and Fortune, had exempted him from
those Defects which Folly and Beggary had produced in others. He said, if
I would go with him to his Country House, about Twenty Miles distant,
where his Estate lay, there would be more Leisure for this Kind of
Conversation. I told his Excellency that I was entirely at his Disposal; and
accordingly we set out next Morning.
During our Journey, he made me observe the several Methods used by
Farmers in managing their Lands; which to me were wholly unaccountable:
For except in some very few Places, I could not discover one Ear of Corn,
or Blade of Grass. But, in three Hours travelling, the Scene was wholly
altered; we came into a most beautiful Country; Farmers Houses at small
Distances, neatly built, the Fields enclosed, containing Vineyards,
Corngrounds, and Meadows. Neither do I remember to have seen a more
delightful Prospect. His Excellency observed my Countenance to clear up;
he told me with a Sigh that there his Estate began, and would continue the
same till we should come to his House. That his Countrymen ridiculed and
despised him for managing his Affairs no better, and for setting so ill an
Example to the Kingdom; which however was followed by very few, such
as were old, and wilful, and weak like himself.
We came at length to the House, which was indeed a noble Structure, built
according to the best Rules of ancient Architecture. The Fountains,
Gardens, Walks, Avenues, and Groves were all disposed with exact
Judgement and Taste. I gave due Praises to every Thing I saw, whereof his
Excellency took not the least Notice till after Supper; when, there being no
third Companion, he told me with a very melancholy Air, that he doubted
he must thrown down his Houses in Town and Country, to rebuild them
after the present Mode; destroy all his Plantations, and cast others into such
a Form as modern Usage required; and give the same Directions to all his
Tenants, unless he would submit to incur the Censure of Pride, Singularity,
Affectation, Ignorance, Caprise; and perhaps increase his Majesty's
Displeasure.
That the Admiration I appeared to be under, would cease or diminish when
he had informed me of some Particulars, which probably I never heard of
at Court, the People there being too much taken up in their own
Speculations, to have Regard to what passed here below.
The Sum of his Discourse was to this Effect. That about Forty Years ago,
certain Persons went up to Laputa, either upon Business or Diversion; and
after five Months Continuance came back with a very little Smattering in
Mathematicks, but full of Volatile Spirits acquired in that Airy Region.
That these Persons upon their Return, began to dislike the Management of
every Thing below; and fell into Schemes of putting all Arts, Sciences,
Languages, and Mechanicks upon a new Foot. To this End they procured a
Royal Patent for erecting an Academy of PROJECTORS in Lagado: And
the Humour prevailed so strongly among the People, that there is not a
Town of any Consequence in the Kingdom without such an Academy. In
these Colleges, the Professors contrive new Rules and Methods of
Agriculture and Building, and new Instruments and Tools for all Trades
and Manufactures, whereby, as they undertake, one Man shall do the Work
of Ten; a Palace may be built in a Week, of Materials so durable as to last
for ever without repairing. All the Fruits of the Earth shall come to
Maturity at whatever Season we think fit to chuse, and increase an Hundred
Fold more than they do at present; with innumerable other happy
Proposals. The only Inconvenience is, that none of these Projects are yet
brought to Perfection; and in the mean time, the whole Country lies
miserably waste, the Houses in Ruins, and the People without Food or
Cloaths. By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are Fifty Times
more violently bent upon prosecuting their Schemes, driven equally on by
Hope and Despair: That, as for himself, being not of an enterprizing Spirit,
he was content to go on in the old Forms; to live in the Houses his
Ancestors had built, and act as they did in every Part of Life without
Innovation. That, some few other Persons of Quality and Gentry had done
the same; but were looked on with an eye of Contempt and ill Will, as
enemies to Art, Ignorant, and ill Commonwealthmen, preferring their own
Ease and Sloth before the general Improvement of their Country.
His Lordship added, that he would not by any further Particulars prevent
the Pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand Academy, whither
he was resolved I should go. He only desired me to observe a ruined
Building upon the Side of a Mountain about three Miles distant, of which
he gave me this Account. That he had a very convenient Mill within Half a
Mile of his House, turned by a Current from a large River, and sufficient
for his own Family as well as a great Number of his Tenants. That, about
seven Years ago, a Club of those Projectors came to him with Proposals to
destroy this Mill, and build another on the Side of that Mountain, on the
long Ridge whereof a long Canal must be cut for a Repository of Water, to
be conveyed up by Pipes and Engines to supply the Mill: Because the Wind
and Air upon a Height agitated the Water, and thereby made it fitter for
Motion: And because the Water descending down a Declivity would turn
the Mill with half the Current of a River whose Course is more upon a
Level. He said, that being then not very well with the Court, and pressed by
many of his Friends, he complyed with the Proposal; and after employing
an Hundred Men for two Years, the Work miscarryed, the Projectors went
off, laying the Blame entirely upon him; railing at him ever since, and
putting others upon the same Experiment, with equal Assurance of Success,
as well as equal Disappointment.
In a few Days we came back to Town; and his Excellency, considering the
bad Character he had in the Academy, would not go with me himself, but
recommended me to a Friend of his to bear me Company thither. My Lord
was pleased to represent me as a great Admirer of Projects, and a Person
of much Curiosity and easy Belief; which indeed was not without Truth,
for I had my self been a Sort of Projector in my younger Days.
CHAPTER V.
The Author permitted to see the grand Academy of Lagado. The Academy
largely described. The Arts wherein the Professors employ themselves.
THIS ACADEMY is not an entire single Building, but a Continuation of
several Houses on both Sides of a Street; which growing waste, was
purchased and applyed to that Use.
I was received very kindly by the Warden, and went for many Days to the
Academy. Every Room hath in it one or more Projectors; and I believe I
could not be in fewer than five Hundred Rooms.
The first Man I saw was of a meager Aspect, with sooty Hands and Face,
his Hair and Beard long, ragged and singed in several Places. His Cloathes,
Shirt, and Skin were all of the same Colour. He had been Eight Years upon
a Project for extracting Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers, which were to be
put into Vials hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the Air in raw
inclement Summers. He told me he did not doubt in Eight Years more he
should be able to supply the Governors Gardens with Sun-shine at a
reasonable Rate; but he complained that his stock was low, and intreated me
to give him something as an Encouragement to Ingenuity, especially since
this had been a very dear Season for Cucumbers. I made him a small
Present, for my Lord had furnished me with Money on Purpose, because
he knew their Practice of begging from all who go to see them.
I went into another Chamber, but was ready to hasten back, being almost
overcome with a horrible Stink. My Conductor pressed me forward,
conjuring me in a Whisper to give no Offence, which would be highly
resented; and therefore I durst not so much as stop my Nose. The Projector
of this Cell was the most ancient Student of the Academy. His Face and
Beard were of a pale Yellow; his Hands and Clothes daubed over with
Filth. When I was presented to him, he gave me a close Embrace (a
Compliment I could well have excused.) His Employment from his first
coming into the Academy, was an Operation to reduce human Excrement
to its original Food, by separating the several Parts, removing the Tincture
which it receives from the Gall, making the Odour exhale, and scumming
off the Saliva. He had a weekly Allowance from the Society, of a Vessel
filled with human Ordure about the Bigness of a Bristol Barrel.
I saw another at work to calcine Ice into Gunpowder; who likewise shewed
me a Treatise he had written concerning the Malleability of Fire, which he
intended to publish.
There was a most ingenious Architect who had contrived a new Method for
building Houses, by beginning at the Roof, and working downwards to the
Foundation; which he justified to me by the like Practice of those two
prudent Insects, the Bee and the Spider.
There was a Man born blind, who had several Apprentices in his own
Condition: Their Employment was to mix Colours for Painters, which
their Master taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was
indeed my Misfortune to find them at that Time not very perfect in their
Lessons; and the Professor himself happened to be generally mistaken: This
Artist is much encouraged and esteemed by the whole Fraternity.
In another Apartment I was highly pleased with a Projector, who had
found a Device of plowing the Ground with Hogs, to save the Charges of
Plows, Cattle, and Labour. The Method in this: In an Acre of Ground you
bury at six Inches Distance, and eight deep, a Quantity of Acorns, Dates,
Chestnuts, and other Maste or Vegetables whereof these Animals are
fondest; then you drive six Hundred or more of them into the Field, where
in a few Days they will root up the whole Ground in search of their Food,
and make it fit for sowing, at the same time manuring it with their Dung. It
is true, upon Experiment they found the Charge and Trouble very great,
and they had little or no Crop. However, it is not doubted that this
Invention may be capable of great Improvement.
I went into another Room, where the Walls and Ceiling were all hung
round with Cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the Artist to go in and
out. At my Entrance he called aloud to me not to disturb his Webs. He
lamented the fatal Mistake the World had been so long in of using Silk-
Worms, while we had such plenty of domestick Insects, who infinitely
excelled the Former, because they understood how to weave as well as spin.
And he proposed farther, that by employing Spiders, the Charge of dying
Silks should be wholly saved; whereof I was fully convinced when he
shewed me a vast Number of Flies most beautifully coloured, wherewith he
fed his Spiders; assuring us, that the Webs would take a Tincture from
them; and as he had them of all Hues, he hoped to fit every Body's Fancy,
as soon as he could find proper Food for the Flies, of certain Gums, Oyls,
and other glutinous Matter to give a Strength and Consistence to the
Threads.
There was an Astronomer who had undertaken to place a Sun-Dial upon
the great Weather-Cock on the Town-House, by adjusting the annual and
diurnal Motions of the Earth and Sun, so as to answer and coincide with all
accidental Turnings of the Wind.
I was complaining of a small fit of the Cholick; upon which my Conductor
led me into a Room, where a great Physician resided, who was famous for
curing that Disease by contrary Operations from the same Instrument. He
had a large Pair of Bellows with a long slender Muzzle of Ivory. This he
conveyed eight Inches up the Anus, and drawing in the Wind, he affirmed
he could make the Guts as lank as a dried Bladder. But when the Disease
was more stubborn and violent, he let in the Muzzle while the Bellows
were full of Wind, which he discharged into the Body of the Patient, then
withdrew the Instrument to replenish it, clapping his Thumb strongly
against the Orifice of the Fundament; and this being repeated three or four
Times, the adventitious Wind would rush out, bringing the noxious along
with it (like Water put into a Pump), and the Patient recover. I saw him try
both Experiments upon a Dog, but could not discern any Effect from the
former. After the latter, the Animal was ready to burst, and made so
violent a Discharge, as was very offensive to me and my Companions. The
Dog died on the Spot, and we left the Doctor endeavouring to recover him
by the same Operation.
I visited many other Apartments, but shall not trouble my Reader with all
the Curiosities I observed, being studious of Brevity.
I had hitherto seen only one side of the Academy, the other being
appropriated to the Advancers of speculative Learning, of which I shall say
something when I have Mentioned one illustrious Person more, who is
called among them the universal Artist. He told us he had been thirty Years
employing his Thoughts for the Improvement of human Life. He had two
large Rooms full of wonderful Curiosities, and fifty Men at work. Some
were condensing Air into a dry tangible Substance, by extracting the Nitre,
and letting the Aqueous or fluid Particles percolate; others softening
Marble for Pillows and Pincushions; others petrifying the Hoofs of a living
Horse to preserve them from foundring. The Artist himself was at that
time busy upon two great Designs; the first, to sow Land with Chaff,
wherein he affirmed the true seminal Virtue to be contained, as he
Demonstrated by several Experiments which I was not skilful enough to
comprehend. The other was, by a certain Composition of Gums, Minerals,
and Vegetables outwardly applied, to prevent the Growth of Wool upon
two young Lambs; and he hoped in a reasonable Time to propagate the
Breed of naked Sheep all over the Kingdom.
We crossed a Walk to the other Part of the Academy, where, as I have
already said, the Projectors in speculative Learning resided.
The first Professor I saw was in a very large Room, with forty Pupils
about him. After Salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a Frame,
which took up the greatest part of both the Length and Breadth of the
Room, he said perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a Project
for improving speculative Knowledge by practical and mechanical
Operations. But the World would soon be sensible of its Usefulness, and he
flattered himself that a more noble exalted Thought never sprung in any
other Man's Head. Every one knew how laborious the usual Method is of
attaining to Arts and Sciences; whereas by his Contrivance, the most
ignorant Person at a reasonable Charge, and with a little bodily Labour,
may write Books in Philosophy, Poetry, Politicks, Law, Mathematicks and
Theology, without the least Assistance from Genius or Study. He then led
me to the Frame, about the Sides whereof all his Pupils stood in Ranks. It
was twenty Foot Square, placed in the middle of the Room. The Superficies
was composed of several bits of Wood, about the bigness of a Dye, but
some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender Wires.
These bits of Wood were covered on every Square with Paper pasted on
them, and on these Papers were written all the Words of their Language, in
their several Moods, Tenses, and Declensions, but without any Order. The
Professor then desired me to observe, for he was going to set his Engine at
Work. The Pupils at his Command took each of them hold of an Iron
Handle, whereof there were fourty fixed round the Edges of the Frame,
and giving them a sudden turn, the whole Disposition of the Words was
entirely changed. He then commanded six and thirty of the Lads to read the
several Lines softly as they appeared upon the Frame; and where they
found three or four Words together that might make part of a Sentence,
they dictated to the four remaining Boys who were Scribes. This Work was
repeated three or four Times, and at every turn the Engine was so
contrived that the Words shifted into new Places, as the Square bits of
Wood moved upside down.
[Plate 5: The Literary Engine]
Six Hours a-day the young Students were employed in this Labour, and the
Professor shewed me several Volumes in large Folio already collected, of
broken Sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of those
rich Materials to give the World a compleat Body of all Arts and Sciences;
which however might be still improved, and much expedited, if the Publick
would raise a Fund for making and employing five hundred such Frames in
Lagado, and oblige the Managers to contribute in common their several
Collections.
He assured me, that this Invention had employed all his Thoughts from his
Youth, that he had emptyed the whole Vocabulary into his Frame, and
made the strictest Computation of the general Proportion there is in Books
between the Numbers of Particles, Nouns, and Verbs, and other Parts of
Speech.
I made my humblest Acknowledgement to this illustrious Person for his
great Communicativeness, and promised if ever I had the good Fortune to
return to my Native Country, that I would do him Justice, as the sole
Inventer of this wonderful Machine; the Form and Contrivance of which I
desired Leave to delineate upon Paper, as in the Figure here annexed. I told
him, although it were the Custom of our Learned in Europe to steal
Inventions from each other, who had thereby at least this Advantage, that it
became a Controversy which was the right Owner, yet I would take such
Caution, that he should have the Honour entire without a Rival.
We next went to the School of Languages, where three Professors sate in
Consultation upon improving that of their own country.
The first Project was to shorten Discourse by cutting Polysyllables into
one, and leaving out Verbs and Participles, because in reality all things
imaginable are but Nouns.
The other, was a Scheme for entirely abolishing all Words whatsoever; and
this was urged as a great Advantage in Point of Health as well as Brevity.
For it is plain, that every Word we speak is in some Degree a Diminution
of our Lungs by Corrosion, and consequently contributes to the shortning
of our Lives. An Expedient was therefore offered, that since Words are
only Names for Things, it would be more convenient for all Men to carry
about them, such Things as were necessary to express the particular
Business they are to discourse on. And this Invention would certainly have
taken Place, to the great Ease as well as Health of the Subject, if the
Women in conjunction with the Vulgar and Illiterate had not threatned to
raise a Rebellion, unless they might be allowed the Liberty to speak with
their Tongues, after the manner of their Ancestors; such constant
irreconcilable Enemies to Science are the common People. However, many
of the most Learned and Wise adhere to the New Scheme of expressing
themselves by Things, which hath only this Inconvenience attending it, that
if a Man's Business be very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged
in Proportion to carry a greater bundle of Thingsupon his Back, unless he
can afford one or two strong Servants to attend him. I have often beheld
two of those Sages almost sinking under the Weight of their Packs, like
Pedlars among us; who, when they met in the Streets, would lay down their
Loads, open their Sacks, and hold Conversation for an Hour together; then
put up their Implements, help each other to resume their Burthens, and
take their Leave.
But for short Conversations a Man may carry Implements in his Pockets
and under his Arms, enough to supply him, and in his House he cannot be
at a loss: Therefore the Room where Company meet who practise this Art,
is full of all Things ready at Hand, requisite to furnish Matter for this kind
of artificial Converse.
Another great Advantage proposed by this Invention, was that it would
serve as a Universal Language to be understood in all civilized Nations,
whose Goods and Utensils are generally of the same kind, or nearly
resembling, so that their Uses might easily be comprehended. And thus
Embassadors would be qualified to treat with foreign Princes or Ministers
of State to whose Tongues they were utter Strangers.
I was at the Mathematical School, where the Master taught his Pupils after
a Method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The Proposition and
Demonstration were fairly written on a thin Wafer, with ink composed of a
Cephalick Tincture. This the Student was to swallow upon a fasting
Stomach, and for three Days following eat nothing but Bread and Water.
As the Wafer digested, the Tincture mounted to his Brain, bearing the
Proposition along with it. But the Success hath not hitherto been
answerable, partly by some Error in the Quantum or Composition, and
partly by the Perverseness of Lads, to whom this Bolus is so nauseous, that
they generally steal aside, and discharge it upwards before it can operate,
neither have they been yet persuaded to use so long an Abstinence as the
Prescription required.
CHAPTER VI.
A further Account of the Academy. The Author proposes some
Improvements which are honourably received.
IN THE SCHOOL of Political Projectors I was but ill entertained, the
Professors appearing in my Judgement wholly out of their Senses, which is
a Scene that never fails to make me melancholy. These unhappy People
were proposing Schemes for persuading Monarchs to chuse Favourites
upon the Score of their Wisdom, Capacity, and Virtue; of teaching
Ministers to consult the Publick Good; of rewarding Merit, great Abilities,
eminent Services; of instructing Princes to know their true Interest by
placing it on the same Foundation with that of their People: Of chusing for
Employments Persons qualified to exercise them; with many other wild
impossible Chimaeras, that never entred before into the heart of Man to
conceive, and confirmed in me the old Observation, that there is nothing so
extravagant and irrational which some Philosophers have not maintained
for Truth.
But, however I shall so far do Justice to this Part of the Academy, as to
acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a most
Ingenious Doctor who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole Nature
and System of Government. This illustrious Person had very usefully
employed his Studies in finding out effectual Remedys for all Diseases and
Corruptions, to which the several kinds of publick Administration are
subject by the Vices or Infirmities of those who govern, as well as by the
Licentiousness of those who are to obey. For instance; whereas all Writers
and Reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict universal Resemblance
between the Natural and the Politcal Body; can there be anything more
evident, than that the Health of both must be preserved, and the Diseases
cured by the same Prescriptions? It is allowed that Senates and great
Councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and other peccant
Humours, with many Diseases of the Head, and more of the Heart; with
strong Convulsions, with grievous Contractions of the Nerves and Sinews
in both Hands, but especially the Right: With Spleen, Flatus, Vertigos, and
Deliriums; with Scrophulous Tumours full of f¾tid purulent Matter; with
sower frothy Ructations, with Canine Appetites and crudeness of Digestion,
besides many others needless to mention. This Doctor therefore proposed,
that upon the Meeting of a Senate, certain Physicians should attend at the
three first Days of their sitting, and at the Close of each day's Debate, feel
the Pulses of every Senator; after which having maturely considered, and
consulted upon the Nature of the several Maladies, and the Methods of
Cure, they should on the fourth Day return to the Senate House, attended
by their Apothecaries stored with proper Medicines, and before the
Members sate, administer to each of them Lenitives, Aperitives,
Abstersives, Currosives, Restringents, Palliatives, Laxatives, Cephalalgicks,
Ictericks, Apophlegmaticks, Acousticks, as their several Cases required,
and according as these Medicines should operate, repeat, alter, or omit
them at the next Meeting.
This Project could not be of any great Expense to the Publick, and would
in my poor Opinion, be of much Use for the Dispatch of Business in those
Countries where Senates have any share in the Legislative Power; beget
Unanimity, shorten Debates, open a few Mouths which are now closed, and
close many more which are now open; curb the Petulancy of the Young,
and correct the Positiveness of the Old; rouze the Stupid, and damp the
Pert.
Again, Because it is a general Complaint that the Favourites of Princes are
troubled with short and weak Memories; the same Doctor proposed, that
whoever attended a First Minister, after having told his business with the
utmost Brevity, and in the plainest Words; should at his Departure give the
said Minister a Tweak by the Nose, or a kick in the Belly, or tread on his
Corns, or lug him thrice by both Ears, or run a Pin into his Breech, or
pinch his Arm black and blew, to prevent Forgetfulness: and at every
Levee Day repeat the same Operation, till the Business were done or
absolutely refused.
He likewise directed, that every Senator in the great Council of a Nation,
after he had delivered his Opinion, and argued in the Defence of it, should
be obliged to give his Vote directly contrary; because if that were done, the
Result would infallibly terminate in the Good of the Publick.
When Parties in a State are violent, he offered a wonderful Contrivance to
reconcile them. The Method is this. You take an Hundred Leaders of each
Party, you dispose of them into Couples of such whose Heads are nearest of
a size; then let two nice operators saw off the Occiput of each Couple at the
same time, in such a manner that the Brain may be equally divided. Let the
Occiputs thus cut off be interchanged, applying each to the Head of his
opposite Party-man. It seems indeed to be a Work that requireth some
exactness, but the Professor assured us, that if it were dexterously
performed, the Cure would be infallible. For he argued thus; that the two
half Brains being left to debate the Matter between themselves within the
space of one Scull, would soon come to a good Understanding, and produce
that Moderation, as well as Regularity of Thinking, so much to be wished
for in the Heads of those who imagine they come into the World only to
watch and govern its Motion: And as to the difference of Brains in
Quantity or Quality, among those who are Directors in Faction; the Doctor
assured us from his own knowledge, that it was a perfect Trifle.
I heard a very warm Debate between two Professors, about the most
commodious and effectual Ways and Means of raising Money without
grieving the Subject. The first affirmed the justest Method would be to lay
a certain Tax upon Vices and Folly, and the Sum fixed upon every Man, to
be rated after the fairest Manner by a Jury of his Neighbours. The second
was of an Opinion directly contrary, to Tax those Qualities of Body and
Mind for which Men chiefly value themselves, the Rate to be more or less
according to the Degrees of excelling, the decision whereof should be left
entirely to their own Breast. The highest Tax was upon Men who are the
greatest Favourites of the other Sex, and the Assessments according to the
Number and Natures of the Favours they have received; for which they are
allowed to be their own Vouchers. Wit, Valour, and Politeness were
likewise proposed to be largely taxed and collected in the same manner, by
every Person's giving his own Word for the Qantum of what he possessed.
But as to Honour, Justice, Wisdom, and Learning, they should not be taxed
at all, because they are Qualifications of so singular a Kind, that no Man
will either allow them in his Neighbour, or value them in himself.
The Women were proposed to be taxed according to their Beauty and skill
in Dressing, wherein they had the same Priviledge with the Men, to be
determined by their own Judgement. But Constancy, Chastity, good Sense,
and good Nature were not rated, because they would not bear the Charge
of Collecting.
To keep Senators in the Interest of the Crown, it was proposed that the
Members should raffle for Employments, every Man first taking an Oath,
and giving Security that he would Vote for the Court, whether he won or
no, after which the Losers had in their Turn the liberty of Raffling upon
the next Vacancy. Thus Hope and Expectation would be kept alive, none
would complain of broken Promises, but impute their disappointments
wholly to Fortune, whose Shoulders are broader and stronger than those of
a Ministry.
Another Professor shewed me a large Paper of Instructions for discovering
Plots and Conspiracies against the Governments. He advised great
Statesmen to examine into the Dyet of all suspected Persons; their times of
eating; upon which side they lay in Bed; with which hand they wiped their
Posteriors; take a strict View of their Excrements, and from the Colour,
the Odour, the Taste, the Consistence, the Crudeness, or Maturity of
Digestion, form a Judgement of their Thoughts and Designs. Because Men
are never so Serious, Thoughtful, and Intent, as when they are at Stool,
which he found by frequent Experiment: For in such Conjunctures, when
he used meerly as a Trial to consider which was the best way of murdering
the King, his Ordure would have A Tincture of Green, but quite different
when he thought only of raising an Insurrection or burning the Metropolis.
The whole Discourse was written with great Acuteness, containing many
Observations both curious and useful for Politicians, but as I conceived not
altogether compleat. This I ventured to tell the Author, and offered if he
pleased to supply him with some Additions. He received my Proposition
with more Compliance than is usual among Writers, especially those of the
projecting Species, professing he would be glad to receive farther
Information.
I told him, that in the Kingdom of Tribnia, by the Natives called
Langden, where I had long sojourned, the Bulk of the People consisted
wholly of Discoverers, Witnesses, Informers, Accusers, Prosecutors,
Evidences, Swearers; together with their several subservient and subaltern
Instruments; all under the Colours, the Conduct, and pay of Ministers, and
their deputies. The Plots in that Kingdom are usually the Workmanship of
those Persons who desire to raise their own Characters of profound
Politicians; to restore new Vigor to a crazy Administration; to stifle or
divert general Discontents; to fill their Coffers with Forfeitures; and
raise or sink the Opinion of publick Credit, as either shall best answer
their private Advantage. It is first agreed and settled among them, what
suspected Persons shall be accused of a Plot: Then, effectual Care is taken
to secure all their Letters and other Papers, and put the Owners in Chains.
These Papers are delivered to a Set of Artists, very dexterous in finding
out the mysterious Meanings of Words, Syllables and Letters. For
Instance, they can decypher a Close-stool to signify a Privy-Council; a
Flock of Geese, a Senate; a lame Dog, an Invader; the Plague, a standing
Army; a Buzzard, a Minister; the Gout, a High Priest; a Gibbet, a Secretary
of State; a Chamber pot, a Committee of Grandees; a Sieve, a Court Lady;
a Broom, a Revolution; a Mouse-trap, an Employment; a bottomless Pit,
the Treasury; a Sink, a C---t; a Cap and Bells, a Favourite; a broken Reed,
a Court of Justice; an empty Tun, a General; a running Sore, the
Administration.
When this Method fails, they have two others more effectual; which the
Learned among them call Acrosticks and Anagrams. First, they can
decypher all initial Letters into political Meanings. Thus, N, shall signify
a Plot; B, a regiment of Horse; L,. a Fleet at Sea. Or, secondly, by
transposing the Letters of the Alphabet, in any suspected Paper, they can
discover the deepest Designs of a discontented Party. So for Example, if I
should say in a Letter to a Friend, Our Brother Tom has just got the
Piles; a Man of Skill in this Art would discover how the same Letters
which compose that Sentence, may be analysed into the following words:
Resist, ----- a Plot is brought home ----- The Tour. And this is the
Anagrammatick Method.
The Professor made me great Acknowledgments for communicating these
Observations, and promised to make honourable Mention of me in his
Treatise.
I saw nothing in this Country that could invite me to a longer Continuance;
and began to think of returning home to England.
CHAPTER VII.
The Author leaves Lagado, arrives at Maldonada. No Ship ready. He takes
a short Voyage to Glubbdubdrib. His Reception by the Governor
[T]he Continent of which this Kingdom is a part, extends itself, as I have
reason to believe, Eastward to that unknown Tract of America, Westward
of California, and North to the Pacifick Ocean, which is not above an
hundred and fifty Miles from Lagado; where there is a good Port and
much Commerce with the great Island of Luggnagg, situated to the North-
West about 29 Degrees North Latitude, and 140 Longitude. This Island of
Luggnagg stands South-Eastwards of Japan, about an hundred Leagues
distant. There is a strict Alliance between the Japanese Emperor and the
King of Luggnagg, which affords frequent Opportunities of sailing from
one Island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my Course this
Way, in order to my Return to Europe. I hired two Mules with a Guide to
shew me the way, and carry my small Baggage. I took Leave of my noble
Protector, who had shewn me so much Favour, and made me a generous
Present at my Departure.
My Journey was without any Accident or Adventure worth relating. When
I arrived at the Port of Maldonada, (for so it is called) there was no Ship in
the Harbour bound for Luggnagg, nor like to be in some time. The Town
is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some Acquaintance, and
was very hospitably received. A Gentleman of Distinction said to me that
since the Ships bound for Luggnagg could not be ready in less than a
Month, it might be no disagreeable Amusement for me to take a Trip to the
little Island of Glubbdubdrib, about five Leagues off to the South-West. He
offered himself and a Friend to accompany me, and that I should be
provided with a small convenient Barque for the Voyage.
GLUBBDUBDRIB, as nearly as I can interpret the Word, signifies the
Island of Sorcerers or Magicians. It is about one third as large as the Isle of
Wight, and extremely Fruitful: It is governed by the Head of a certain
Tribe, who are all Magicians. This Tribe marries only among each other,
and the eldest in Succession is Prince or Governor. He hath a noble Palace,
and a Park of about three thousand Acres, surrounded by a Wall of hewn
Stone twenty Foot high. In this Park are several small enclosures for
Cattle, Corn, and Gardening.
The Governor and his Family are served and attended by Domesticks of a
Kind somewhat unusual. By his Skill in Necromancy, he hath a Power of
calling whom he pleaseth from the Dead, and commanding their Service
for twenty-four Hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same Persons up
again in less than three Months, except upon very extraordinary Occasions.
When we arrived at the Island, which was about Eleven in the Morning,
one of the Gentlemen who accompanied me, went to the Governour, and
desired admittance for a Stranger, who came on Purpose to have the
Honour of attending on his Highness. This was immediately granted, and
we all three entered the Gate of the Palace between two rows of Guards,
armed and dressed after a very antick Manner, and something in their
Countenances that made my Flesh creep with a Horror I cannot express.
We passed through several Apartments between Servants of the same Sort,
ranked on each side as before, till we came to the Chamber of Presence,
where after three profound Obeysances, and a few general Questions, we
were permitted to sit on three Stools near the lowest Step of his Highness's
Throne. He understood the Language of Balnibarbi, although it were
different from that of his Island. He desired me to give him some Account
of my Travels; and to let me see that I should be treated without
Ceremony, he dismissed all his Attendants with a Turn of his Finger, at
which to my great Astonishment they vanished in an Instant, like Visions in
a Dream, when we awake on a sudden. I could not recover my self in some
Time, till the Governor assured me that I should receive no Hurt; and
observing my two Companions to be under no Concern, who had been
often entertained in the same Manner, I began to take Courage; and related
to his Highness a short History of my several Adventures, yet not without
some Hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the Place where I had
seen those domestick Spectres. I had the Honour to dine with the Governor,
where a new set of Ghosts served up the Meat, and waited at Table. I now
observed myself to be less terrified than I had been in the Morning. I
stayed till Sun-set, but humbly desired his Highness to excuse me for not
accepting his Invitation of lodging in the Palace. My two Friends and I lay
at a private House in the Town adjoining, which is the Capital of this little
Island; and the next Morning we returned to pay our Duty to the
Governor, as he was pleased to command us.
After this Manner we continued in the Island for ten Days, most Part of
every Day with the Governor, and at Night in our Lodging. I soon grew so
familiarized to the Sight of Spirits, that after the third or fourth Time they
gave me no Emotion at all; or if I had any Apprehensions left, my
Curiosity prevailed over them. For his Highness the Governor ordered me
to call up whatever Persons I would choose to name, and in whatever
Numbers among all the Dead from the Beginning of the World to the
present Time, and command them to answer any Questions I should think
fit to ask; with this Condition, that my Questions must be confined within
the Compass of the Times they lived in. And one Thing I might depend
upon, that they would certainly tell me Truth, for Lying was a Talent of no
Use in the lower World.
I made my humble Acknowledgments to his Highness for so great a
Favour. We were in a Chamber, from whence there was a fair Prospect
into the Park. And because my first Inclination was to be entertained with
Scenes of Pomp and Magnificence, I desired to see Alexander the Great, at
the Head of his Army just after the battle of Arbela; which upon a Motion
of the Governor's Finger immediately appeared in a large Field under the
Window, where we stood. Alexander was called up into the Room: Iit was
with great Difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but little of my
own. He assured me upon his Honour that he was not poisoned, but died of
a Fever by excessive Drinking.
Next I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me he had not a Drop of
Vinegar in his Camp.
I saw Cæsar and Pompey at the Head of their Troops just ready to
engage. I saw the former in his last great Triumph. I desired that the
Senate of Rome might appear before me in one large Chamber, and an
Assembly of somewhat a latter Age, in Counterview in another. The first
seemed to be an Assembly of Heroes and Demy-Gods; the other a Knot of
Pedlars, Pickpockets, High-way-men, and Bullies.
The Governor at my Request gave the Sign for Cæsar and Brutus to
advance towards us. I was struck with a profound Veneration at the Sight
of Brutus; and could easily discover the most consummate Virtue, the
greatest Intrepidity and Firmness of Mind, the truest Love of his Country,
and general Benevolence for Mankind in every Lineament of his
Countenance. I observed with much Pleasure, that these two Persons were
in good Intelligence with each other, and Cæsar freely confessed to
me that the greatest Actions of his own Life were not equal by many
Degrees to the Glory of taking it away. I had the Honour to have much
Conversation with Brutus; and was told that his Ancestor Junius, Socrates,
Epaminondas, Cato the Younger, Sir Thomas More and himself, were
perpetually together: A Sextumvirate to which all the Ages of the World
cannot add a Seventh.
It would be tedious to trouble the Reader with relating what vast Numbers
of illustrious Persons were called up, to gratify that insatiable Desire I had
to see the World in every Period of Antiquity placed before me. I chiefly
fed mine Eyes with beholding the Destroyers of Tyrants and Usurpers, and
the Restorers of Liberty to oppressed and injured Nations. But it is
impossible to express the Satisfaction I received in my own Mind, after
such a Manner as to make it a suitable Entertainment to the Reader.
CHAPTER VIII.
A further Account of Glubbdubdrib. Antient and Modern History
corrected.
HAVING A DESIRE to see those Antients, who were most renowned for
Wit and Learning, I set apart one Day on purpose. I proposed that Homer
and Aristotle might appear at the Head of all their Commentators; but these
were so numerous that some hundreds were forced to attend in the Court
and outward Rooms of the Palace. I knew and could distinguish those two
Heroes at first sight, not only from the Croud, but from each other. Homer
was the taller and comelier Person of the two, walked very erect for one of
his Age, and his Eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever beheld.
Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a Staff. His Visage was meager,
his Hair lank and thin, and his Voice hollow. I soon discovered that both of
were perfect Strangers to the rest of the Company, and had never seen or
heard of them before. And I had a Whisper from a Ghost, who shall be
nameless, that these Commentators always kept in the most distant Quarters
from their Principals in the lower World, through a Consciousness of
Shame and Guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the Meaning
of those Authors to Posterity. I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to
Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they
deserved; for he soon found they wanted a Genius to enter into the Spirit of
a poet. But Aristotle was out of all Patience with the Account I gave him of
Scotus and Ramus, as I presented them to him; and he asked them whether
the rest of the Tribe were as great Dunces as themselves.
I then desired the Governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whom
I prevailed to explain their Systems to Aristotle. This great Philosopher
freely acknowledged his own Mistakes in Natural Philosophy, because he
proceeded in many things upon Conjecture, as all Men must do; and he
found, that Gassendi, who had made the Doctrine of Epicurus as palatable
as he could, and the Vortices of Descartes were equally exploded. He
predicted the same Fate to Attraction, whereof the present Learned are
such zealous Asserters. He said, that new Systems of Nature were but new
Fashions, which would vary in every Age; and even those who pretend to
demonstrate them from Mathematical Principles, would flourish but a short
Period of Time, and be out of Vogue when that was determined.
I spent five Days in conversing with many others of the antient Learned. I
saw most of the first Roman Emperors. I prevailed on the Governor to call
up Eliogabalus's Cooks to dress us a Dinner, but they could not shew us
much of their Skill, for Want of Materials. A Helot of Agesilaus made us a
Dish of Spartan Broth, but I was not able to get down a second Spoonful.
The two Gentlemen who conducted me to the Island were pressed by their
private Affairs to return in three Days, which I employed in seeing some
of the modern Dead, who had made the greatest Figure for two or three
hundred Years past in our own and other Countries of Europe; and having
been always a great Admirer of old illustrious Families, I desired the
Governor call up a dozen or two of Kings with their Ancestors in order
for eight or nine Generations. But my Disappointment was grevious and
unexpected. For instead of a long Train with Royal Diadems, I saw in one
Family two Fidlers, three spruce Courtiers, and an Italian Prelate. In
another a Barber, an Abbot, and two Cardinals. I have too great a
Veneration for Crowned Heads to dwell any longer on so nice a Subject.
But as to Counts, Marquesses, Dukes, Earls, and the like I was not so
scrupulous. And I confess it was not without some Pleasure that I found my
self able to trace the particular Features, by which certain Families are
distinguished up to their Originals. I could plainly discover from whence
one Family derives a long Chin, why a second has abounded with Knaves
for two Generations, and Fools for two more; why a third happened to be
crack-brained, and a fourth to be Sharpers. Whence it came what Polydore
Virgil says of a certain great House, Nec Vir fortis, nec Femina Casta. How
Cruelty, Falsehood, and Cowardice grew to be Characteristicks by which
certain families are distinguished as much as by their Coat of Arms. Who
first brought the Pox into a noble House, which has lineally descended in
scrophulous Tumours to their Posterity. Neither could I wonder at all this,
when I saw such an Interruption of Lineages by Pages, Lackeys, Valets,
Coachmen, Gamesters, Captains and Pickpockets.
I was chiefly disgusted with modern History. For having strictly examined
all the Persons of greatest Name in the Courts of Princes for a hundred
Years past, I found how the World had been misled by prostitute Writers,
to ascribe the greatest Exploits in War to Cowards, the wisest Counsel to
Fools, Sincerity to Flatterers, Roman Virtue to Betrayers of their Country,
Piety to Atheists, Chastity to Sodomites, Truth to Informers. How many
innocent and excellent Persons had been condemned to Death or
Banishment, by the practising of great Ministers upon the Corruption of
Judges, and the Malice of Faction. How many Villains had been exalted to
the highest Places of Trust, Power, Dignity, and Profit: How great a Share
in the Motions and Events of Courts, Councils, and Senates might be
challenged by Bawds, Whores, Pimps, Parasites, and Buffoons: How low an
Opinion I had of human Wisdom and Integrity, when I was truly informed
of the Springs and Motives of great Enterprises and Revolutions in the
World, and of the contemptible Accidents to which they owed their
Success.
Here I discovered the Roguery and Ignorance of those who pretend to
write Anecdotes, or secret History, who send so many Kings to their
Graves with a Cup of Poison; will repeat the Discourse between a Prince
and Chief Minister, where no Witness was by; unlock the Thoughts and
Cabinets of Embassadors and Secretaries of State, and have the perpetual
Misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the secret Causes of many
great Events that have surprized the World, how a Whore can Govern the
Back-stairs, the Back-stairs a Council, and the Council a Senate. A General
confessed in my Presence, that he got a Victory purely by the Force of
Cowardice and ill Conduct: and an Admiral that for Want of proper
Intelligence, he beat the Enemy to whom he intended to betray the Fleet.
Three Kings protested to me, that in their whole Reigns they never did
once prefer any Person of Merit, unless by Mistake or Treachery of some
Minister in whom they confided: Neither would they do it if they were to
live again; and they shewed with great Strength of Reason, that the Royal
Throne could not be supported without Corruption, because that positive,
confident, restive Temper, which Virtue infused into Man, was a perpetual
Clog to publick Business.
I had the Curiosity to enquire in a particular Manner, by what Method
great Numbers had procured to themselves high Titles of Honour, and
prodigious Estates; and I confined my Enquiry to a very modern Period;
however, without grating upon present Times, because I would be sure to
give no Offence even to Foreigners (for I hope the Reader need not be told
that I do not in the least intend my own Country in what I say upon this
Occasion), a great Number of Persons concerned were called up, and upon
a very slight Examination, discovered such a Scene of Infamy, that I cannot
reflect upon it without some Seriousness. Perjury, Oppression,
Subornation, Fraud, Panderism, and the like Infirmities, were amongst the
most excusable Arts they had to mention, and for these I gave, as it was
reasonable, great Allowance. But when some confessed they owed their
Greatness and Wealth to Sodomy or Incest, others to the prostituting of
their own Wives and Daughters; others to the betraying of their Country or
their Prince; some to Poisoning, more to the perverting of Justice in order
to destroy the Innocent: I hope I may be pardoned if these Discoveries
inclined me little to abate of that profound Veneration which I am naturally
apt to pay to Persons of high Rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost
respect due to their sublime Dignity, by us their Inferiors.
I had often read of some great Services done to Princes and States, and
desired to see the Persons by whom those Services were performed. Upon
Enquiry I was told that their Names were to be found on no Record, except
a few of them whom History has represented as the vilest Rogues and
Traitors. As to the rest, I had never once heard of them. They all appeared
with dejected Looks, and in the meanest Habit, most of them telling me
they died in Poverty and Disgrace, and the rest on a Scaffold or a Gibbet.
Among the rest there was one Person whose Case appeared a little singular.
He had a Youth about Eighteen Years old standing by his Side. He told me
he had for many Years been Commander of a Ship, and in the Sea Fight at
Actium had the good Fortune to break through the Enemy's great Line of
Battle, sink three of their Capital Ships, and take a fourth, which was the
sole Cause of Antony's Flight, and of the Victory that ensued; that the
Youth standing by him, his only Son, was killed in Action. He added, that
upon the Confidence of some Merit, the war being at an End, he went to
Rome, and solicited at the Court of Augustus to be preferred to a greater
Ship, whose Commander had been killed; but without any Regard to his
Pretensions, it was given to a Youth who had never seen the Sea, the Son of
Libertina, who waited on one of the Emperor's Mistresses. Returning back
to his own Vessel, he was charged with Neglect of Duty, and the Ship given
to a favourite Page of Publicola, the Vice-Admiral; whereupon he retired
to a poor Farm, at a great Distance from Rome, and there ended his Life. I
was so curious to know the Truth of this Story, that I desired Agrippa
might be called, who was Admiral in that Fight. He appeared, and
confirmed the whole Account, but with much more Advantage to the
Captain, whose Modesty had extenuated or concealed a great Part of his
Merit.
I was surprized to find Corruption grown so high and so quick in that
Empire, by the Force of Luxury so lately introduced, which made me less
wonder at many parallel Cases in other Countries, where Vices of all Kinds
have reigned so much longer, and where the whole Praise as well as Pillage
has been engrossed by the chief Commander, who perhaps had the least
Title to either.
As every Person called up made exactly the same Appearance he had done
in the World, it gave me melancholy Reflections to observe how much the
Race of human Kind was degenerate among us, within these Hundred Years
past. How the Pox under all its Consequences and Denominations had
altered every Lineament of an English Countenance, shortned the Size of
Bodies, unbraced the Nerves, relaxed the Sinews and Muscles, introduced a
sallow Complexion, and rendered the Flesh loose and rancid.
I descended so low as to desire that some English Yeomen of the old Stamp
might be summoned to appear, once so famous for the Simplicity of their
Manners, Dyet and Dress, for Justice in their Dealings, for their true Spirit
of Liberty, for their Valour and Love of their Country. Neither could I be
wholly unmov'd after comparing the Living with the Dead, when I
considered how all these pure native Virtues were prostituted for a Piece of
Money by their Grand-children, who in selling their Votes, and managing
at Elections have acquired every Vice and Corruption that can possibly be
learned in a Court.
CHAPTER IX.
The Author's Return to Maldonada. Sails to the Kingdom of Luggnagg.
The Author confined. He is sent for to Court. The manner of his
Admittance. The King's great Lenity to his Subjects.
THE DAY OF our Departure being come, I took Leave of his Highness the
Governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two Companions to
Maldonada, where after a Fortnight's waiting, a Ship was ready to sail for
Luggnagg. The two Gentlemen and some others were so generous and Kind
as to furnish me with Provisions, and see me on board. I was a Month in
this Voyage. We had one violent Storm and were under a Necessity of
steering Westward to get into the Trade-Wind, which holds for above sixty
Leagues. On the 21st of April, 1711, we sailed into the River of
Clumegnig, which is a Sea-port Town, at the South-East Point of
Luggnagg. We cast Anchor within a League of the Town, and made a
Signal for a Pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an Hour,
by whom we were guided between certain Shoals and Rocks, which are
very dangerous in the Passage, to a large Basin, where a Fleet may ride in
Safety within a Cable's Length of the Town Wall.
Some of our Sailors, whether out of Treachery or Inadvertence, had
informed the Pilots that I was a Stranger and a Traveller, whereof these
gave Notice to a Custom-House Officer, by whom I was examined very
strictly upon my landing. This Officer spoke to me in the Language of
Balnibarbi, which by the Force of much Commerce is generally understood
in that Town, especially by Seamen, and those employed in the Customs. I
gave him a short Account of some Particulars, and made my Story as
plausible and consistent as I could; but I thought it necessary to disguise my
Country, and call my self an Hollander, because my Intentions were for
Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans permitted to enter
into that Kingdom. I therefore told the Officer, that having been
shipwrecked on the Coast of Balnibarbi, and cast on a Rock, I was received
up into Laputa, or the flying Island (of which he had often heard), and was
now endeavouring to get to Japan, from whence I might find a
Convenience of returning to my own Country. The Officer said I must be
confined till he could receive Orders from Court, for which he would
write immediately, and hoped to receive an Answer in a fortnight. I was
carried to a convenient Lodging, with a Centry placed at the Door;
however I had the Liberty of a large Garden, and was treated with
Humanity enough, being maintained all the Time at the King's Charge. I
was visited by several Persons, chiefly out of Curiosity, because it was
reported that I came from Countries very remote of which they had never
heard.
I hired a young Man who came in the same Ship to be an interpreter; he
was a native of Luggnagg, but had lived some Years at Maldonada, and was
a perfect Master of both Languages. By his Assistance I was able to hold a
Conversation with those who came to visit me; but this consisted only of
their Questions, and my Answers.
The Dispatch came from Court about the Time we expected. It contain'd a
Warrant for conducting me and my Retinue to Traldragdubb or
Trildrogdrib, for it is pronounced both ways as near as I can remember,
by a Party of Ten Horse. All my Retinue was that poor Lad for an
Interpreter, whom I persuaded into my Service, and at my humble Request,
we had each of us a Mule to ride on. A Messenger was dispatch'd half a
Day's Journey before us, to give the King Notice of my Approach, and to
desire that his Majesty would please appoint a Day and Hour, when it
would be his gracious Pleasure that I might have the Honour to lick the
Dust before his Footstool. This is the Court Style, and I found it to be more
than Matter of Form: For upon my Admittance two Days after my Arrival,
I was commanded to crawl upon my Belly, and lick the Floor as I
advanced; but on Account of my being a Stranger, Care was taken to have
it made so clean that the Dust was not offensive. However, this was a
peculiar Grace, not allowed to any but Persons of the highest Rank, when
they desire an Admittance. Nay, sometimes the Floor is strewed with Dust
on purpose, when the Person to be admitted happens to have powerful
Enemies at Court. And I have seen a great Lord with his Mouth so
crammed, that when he had crept to the proper Distance from the Throne,
he was not able to speak a Word. Neither is there any Remedy, because it is
capital for those who receive an Audience to spit or wipe their Mouths in
his Majesty's Presence. There is indeed another Custom, which I cannot
altogether approve of. When the King has a Mind to put any of his Nobles
to Death in a gentle indulgent Manner; he commands to have the Floor
strowed with a certain brown Powder, of a deadly Composition, which
being licked up infallibly kills him in twenty-four Hours. But in Justice to
this Prince's great Clemency, and the Care he hath of his Subject's Lives
(wherein it were much to be wished that the Monarchs of Europe would
imitate him) it must be mentioned for his Honour, that strict Orders are
given to have the infected Parts of the Floor well washed after every such
Execution; which if his Domesticks neglect, they are in Danger of
incurring his Royal Displeasure. I my self heard him give Directions, that
one of his Pages should be whipt, whose Turn it was to give Notice about
washing the Floor after an Execution, but maliciously had omitted it; by
which Neglect a young Lord of great Hopes coming to an Audience, was
unfortunately poisoned, although the King at that Time had no Design
against his Life. But this good Prince was so gracious, as to forgive the
poor Page his Whipping, upon Promise that he would do so no more,
without special Orders.
To return from this Digression; when I had crept within four Yards of the
Throne, I raised my self gently upon my Knees, and then striking my
Forehead seven Times on the Ground, I pronounced the following Words,
as they had been taught me the Night before, Ickpling Gloffthrobb
Squutserumm blhiop Mlashnalt Zwin tnodbalkguffh Slhiophad Gurdlubh
Asht. This is the Compliment established by the Laws of the Land for all
Persons admitted to the King's Presence. It may be rendered into English
thus: May your celestial Majesty out-live the Sun, eleven Moons and an
half. To this the King returned some Answer, which although I could not
understand, yet I replied as I had been directed; Fluft drin Yalerick
Dwuldum prastrad mirplush, which properly signifies, My Tongue is in the
Mouth of my Friend; and by this Expression was meant that I desired leave
to bring my Interpreter; whereupon the young Man already mentioned was
accordingly introduced, by whose Intervention I answer'd as many
Questions as his Majesty could put in above an Hour. I spoke in the
Balnibarbian Tongue, and my Interpreter delivered my Meaning in that of
Luggnagg.
The King was much delighted with my Company, and ordered his
Bliffmarklub or high Chamberlain, to appoint a Lodging in the Court for
me and my Interpreter, with a daily Allowance for my Table, and a large
Purse of Gold for my common Expenses.
I stayed three Months in this Country out of perfect Obedience to his
Majesty, who was pleased highly to favour me, and made me very
honourable Offers. But, I thought it more consistent with Prudence and
Justice to pass the remainder of my Days with my Wife and Family.
CHAPTER X.
The Luggnuggians commended. A particular Description of the
Struldbruggs, with many Conversations between the Author and some
eminent Persons upon that Subject.
THE LUGGNUGGIANS are a polite and generous People, and although
they are not without some Share of that Pride which is peculiar to all
Eastern Countries, yet they shew themselves courteous to Strangers,
especially such who are countenanced by the Court. I had many
Acquaintance among Persons of the best Fashion, and being always
attended by my Interpreter, the Conversation we had was not disagreeable.
One Day in much good Company I was asked by a Person of Quality,
whether I had seen any of their Struldbruggs, or Immortals. I said I had
not, and desired he would explain to me what he meant by such an
Appellation applied to a mortal Creature. He told me, that sometimes,
though very rarely, a Child happened to be born in a Family with a red
circular Spot in the Forehead, directly over the left Eyebrow, which was
an infallible Mark that it should never dye. The Spot, as he described it,
was about the Compass of a Silver Threepence, but in the Course of Time
grew larger, and changed its Colour; for at twelve Years old it became
Green, so continued till Five and Twenty, then turned to a deep Blue; at
Five and Forty it grew coal Black, and as large as an English Shilling, but
never admitted any further Alteration. He said these Births were so rare,
that he did not believe there could be above Eleven Hundred Struldbruggs
of both Sexes in the whole Kingdom, of which he computed about Fifty in
the Metropolis, and among the rest a young Girl born about three Years
ago. That these Productions were not peculiar to any Family, but a meer
Effect of Chance; and the Children of the Struldbruggs themselves, were
equally Mortal with the rest of the People.
I freely own my self to have been struck with inexpressible Delight upon
hearing this Account: And the Person who gave it me happening to
understand the Balnibarbian Language, which I spoke very well, I could
not forbear breaking out into Expressions perhaps a little too extravagant. I
cryed out as in a Rapture; Happy Nation where every Child hath at least a
Chance for being immortal! Happy People who enjoy so many living
Examples of antient Virtue, and have Masters ready to instruct them in the
Wisdom of all former Ages! But, happiest beyond all Comparison are those
excellent Struldbruggs, who born exempt from that universal Calamity of
human Nature, have their Minds free and disengaged, without the Weight
and Depression of Spirits caused by the continual Apprehension of Death. I
discovered my Admiration that I had not observed any of these illustrious
Persons at Court; the black Spot on the Fore-head being so remarkable a
Distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it: And it was
impossible that his Majesty, a most judicious Prince, should not provide
himself with a good Number of such wise and able Counsellours. Yet
perhaps the Virtue of those Reverend Sages was too strict for the corrupt
and libertine Manners of a Court. And we often find by Experience, that
young Men are too opinionative and volatile to be guided by the sober
Dictates of their Seniors. However, since the King was pleased to allow me
Access to his Royal Person, I was resolved upon the very first Occasion to
deliver my Opinion to him on this Matter freely, and at large by the help
of my Interpreter; and whether he would please to take my Advice or no,
yet in one Thing I was determined, that his Majesty having frequently
offered me an Establishment in this Country, I would with great
Thankfulness accept the Favour, and pass my Life here in the Conversation
of those superiour Beings the Struldbruggs, if they would please to admit
me.
The Gentleman to whom I addressed my Discourse, because (as I have
already observed) he spoke the Language of Balnibarbi, said to me with a
sort of a Smile, which usually ariseth from Pity to the Ignorant, that he was
glad of any Occasion to keep me among them, and desired my Permission
to explain to the Company what I had spoke. He did so, and they talked
together for some time in their own Language, whereof I understood not a
Syllable, neither could I observe by their Countenances what impression
my Discourse had made on them. After a short Silence, the same Person
told me that his Friends and mine (so he thought fit to express himself)
were very much pleased with the judicious Remarks I had made on the
great Happiness and Advantages of immortal Life, and they were desirous
to know in a particular Manner, what Scheme of Living I should have
formed to my self, if it had fallen to my Lot to have been born a
Struldbrugg.
I answered, it was easy to be Eloquent on so copious and delightful a
Subject, especially to me who have been often apt to amuse my self with
Visions of what I should do if I were a King, a General, or a great Lord:
And upon this very Case I had frequently run over the whole System how I
should employ my self, and pass the Time if I were sure to live for ever.
That, if it had been my good Fortune to come into the World a
Struldbrugg, as soon as I could discover my own Happiness by
understanding the Difference between Life and Death, I would first resolve
by all Arts and Methods whatsoever to procure my self Riches. In the
Pursuit of which by Thrift and Management, I might reasonably expect, in
about two Hundred Years to be the wealthiest Man in the Kingdom. In the
second place, I would from my earliest Youth apply my self to the Study of
Arts and Sciences, by which I should arrive in time to excel all others in
Learning. Lastly I would carefully record every Action and Event of
Consequence that happened in the Publick, impartially draw the Characters
of the several Successions of Princes, and great Ministers of State, with my
own Observations on every Point. I would exactly set down the several
Changes in Customs, Languages, Fashions, Dress, Dyet and Diversions. By
all which Acquirements, I should be a living Treasury of Knowledge and
Wisdom, and certainly become the Oracle of the Nation.
I would never marry after Threescore, but live in an hospitable Manner,
yet still on the saving Side. I would entertain myself in forming and
directing the Minds of hopeful young Men, by convincing them from my
own Remembrance, Experience and Observation, fortified by numerous
Examples, of the Usefulness of Virtue in publick and private Life. But, my
Choice and constant Companions should be a sett of my own immortal
Brother hood, among whom I would elect a Dozen from the most Ancient
down to my own Contemporaries. Where any of these wanted Fortunes, I
would provide them with convenient Lodges round my own Estate, and
have some of them always at my Table, only mingling a few of the most
valuable among you Mortals, whom length of Time would harden me to
lose with little or no Reluctance, and treat your Posterity after the same
Manner; just as a Man diverts himself with the annual Succession of Pinks
and Tulips in his Garden, without regretting the Loss of those which
withered the preceding Year.
These Struldbruggs and I would mutually communicate our Observations
and Memorials through the Course of Time, remark the several Gradations
by which Corruption steals into the World, and oppose it in every Step, by
giving perpetual Warning and Instruction to Mankind; which, added to the
strong Influence of our own Example, would probably prevent that
continual Degeneracy of Human Nature so justly complained of in all Ages.
Add to all this the Pleasure of seeing the various Revolutions of States and
Empires, the Changes in the lower and upper World, antient Cities in
Ruins, and obscure Villages become the Seats of Kings. Famous Rivers
lessening into shallow Brooks, the Ocean leaving one Coast dry, and
overwhelming another: The Discovery of many Countries yet unknown.
Barbarity over-running the politest Nations, and the most barbarous
become civilized. I should then see the Discovery of the Longitude, the
perpetual Motion, the Universal Medicine, and many other great Inventions
brought to the utmost Perfection.
What wonderful Discoveries should we make in Astronomy, by outliving
and confirming our own Predictions, by observing the Progress and
Returns of Comets, with the Changes of Motion in the Sun, Moon, and
Stars.
I enlarged upon many other Topicks, which the natural Desire of endless
Life and sublunary Happiness could easily furnish me with. When I had
ended, and the Sum of my Discourse had been interpreted as before, to the
rest of the Company, there was a good deal of Talk among them the
Language of the Country, not without some Laughter at my Expense. At
last the same Gentleman who had been my Interpreter said, he was desired
by the rest to set me right in a few Mistakes, which I had fallen into
through the common Imbecility of human Nature, and upon that Allowance
was less answerable for them. That this Breed of Struldbruggs was peculiar
to their Country, for there were no such People either in Balnibarbi or
Japan, where he had the Honour to be Embassador from his Majesty, and
found the Natives in both these Kingdoms very hard to believe that the Fact
was possible, and it appeared from my Astonishment when he first
mentioned the Matter to me, that I received it as a thing wholly new, and
scarcely to be credited. That in the two Kingdoms above mentioned, where
during his Residence he had conversed very much, he observed long Life
to be the universal Desire and Wish of Mankind. That whoever had one
Foot in the Grave, was sure to hold back the other as strongly as he could.
That the eldest had still hopes of living one Day longer, and looked on
Death as the greatest Evil, from which Nature always prompted him to
retreat; only in this Island of Luggnagg, the Appetite for living was not so
eager, from the continual Example of the Struldbruggs before their Eyes.
That the System of Living contrived by me was unreasonable and unjust,
because it supposed a Perpetuity of Youth, Health, and Vigour, which no
Man could be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be in his
Wishes. That the Question therefore was not whether a Man would choose
to be always in the Prime of Youth, attended with Prosperity and Health,
but how he would pass a perpetual Life under all the usual Disadvantages
which old Age brings along with it. For although few Men will avow their
Desires of being immortal upon such hard Conditions, yet in the two
Kingdoms before-mentioned of Balnibarbi and Japan, he observed that
every Man desired to put off Death for sometime longer, let it approach
ever so late, and he rarely heard of any Man who died willingly, except he
were incited by the Extremity of Grief or Torture. And he appealed to me
whether in those Countries I had travelled as well as my own, I had not
observed the same general Disposition.
After this Preface he gave me a particular Account of the Struldbruggs
among them. He said they commonly acted like Mortals, till about thirty
Years old, after which by degrees they grew melancholy and dejected,
encreasing in both till they came to four-score. This he learned from their
own Confession; for otherwise there not being above two or three of that
Species born in an Age, they were too few to form a general Observation
by. When they came to four-score Years, which is reckoned the Extremity
of living in this Country, they had not only all the Follies and Infirmities of
other old Men, but many more which arose from the dreadful Prospect of
never dying. They were not only Opinionative, Peevish, Covetous, Morose,
Vain, Talkative, but uncapable of Friendship, and dead to all natural
Affection, which never descended below their Grand-children. Envy and
impotent Desires are their prevailing Passions. But those Objects against
which their Envy principally directed, are the Vices of the younger sort,
and the Deaths of the old. By reflecting on the former, they find
themselves cut off from all possibility of Pleasure; and whenever they see a
Funeral, they lament and repine that others have gone to a Harbour of Rest,
to which they themselves never can hope to arrive. They have no
Remembrance of anything but what they learned and observed in their
Youth and middle Age, and even that is very imperfect. And for the Truth
or Particulars of any Fact, it is safer to depend on common Traditions than
upon their best Recollections. The least miserable among them appear to be
those who turn to Dotage, and entirely lose their Memories; these meet
with more Pity and Assistance, because they want many bad Qualities
which abound in others.
If a Struldbrugg happen to marry one of his own kind, the Marriage is
dissolved of course by the Courtesy of the Kingdom, as soon as the
younger of the two come to be four-score. For the Law thinks it a
reasonable Indulgence, that those who are condemned without any Fault of
their own to a perpetual Continuance in the World, should not have their
Misery doubled by the Load of a Wife.
As soon as they have compleated the Term of eighty Years, they are look'd
on as dead in Law; their Heirs immediately succeed to their Estates, only a
small Pittance is reserved for their Support, and the poor ones are
maintained at the publick Charge. After that Period they are held incapable
of any Employment of Trust or Profit, they cannot purchase Lands or take
Leases, neither are they allowed to be Witnesses in any Cause, either Civil
or Criminal, not even for the Decision of Meers and Bounds.
At Ninety they lose their Teeth and Hair, they have at that age no
Distinction of Taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, without
Relish or Appetite. The Diseases they were subject to still continuing
without encreasing or diminishing. In talking they forgot the common
Appellation of Things, and the Names of Persons, even of those who are
their nearest Friends and Relations. For the same Reason they never can
amuse themselves with reading, because their Memory will not serve to
carry them from the beginning of a Sentence to the end; and by this Defect
they are deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might otherwise
be capable.
The Language of this Country being always upon the Flux, the
Struldbruggs of one Age do not understand those of another, neither are
they able after two hundred Years to hold any Conversation (farther than
by a few general Words) with their Neighbours the Mortals; and thus they
lye under the Disadvantage of living like Foreigners in their own Country.
This was the Account given me of the Struldbruggs, as near as I can
remember. I afterwards saw five or six of different Ages, the youngest not
above two hundred Years old, who were brought me at several Times by
some of my Friends; but although they were told that I was a great
Traveller, and had seen all the World, they had not the least Curiosity to
ask me a Question; only desired I would give them Slumskudask, or a
Token of Remembrance, which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the
Law that strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by the Publick,
although indeed with a very scanty Allowance.
They are despised and hated by all sort of People; when one of them is
born, it is reckoned ominous, and their Birth is recorded very particularly;
so that you may know their Age by consulting the Registry, which however
hath not been kept above a thousand Years past, or at least hath been
destroyed by Time or publick Disturbances. But the usual way of
computing how old they are is by asking them what Kings or great Persons
they can remember, and then consulting History, for infallibly the last
Prince, in their Mind, did not begin his Reign after they were four-score
Years old.
They were the most mortifying Sight I ever beheld, and the Women more
horrible than the Men. Besides the usual Deformities in extreme old age,
they acquired an additional Ghastliness in Proportion to their Number of
Years, which is not to be described, and among half a Dozen I soon
distinguished which was the eldest, although there were not above a
Century or two between them.
The Reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard and seen, my
keen Appetite for Perpetuity of Life was much abated. I grew heartily
ashamed of the pleasing Visions I had formed, and thought no Tyrant could
invent a Death into which I would not run with Pleasure from such a Life.
The King heard of all that had passed between me and my Friends upon
this Occasion, and rallied me very pleasantly, wishing I would send a
couple of Struldbruggs to my own Country, to arm our People against the
Fear of Death; but this it seems is forbidden by the fundamental Laws of
the Kingdom, or else I should have been well content with the Trouble and
Expense of transporting them.
I could not but agree that the Laws of this Kingdom relating to the
Struldbruggs, were founded upon the strongest Reasons, and such as any
other Country would be under the Necessity of enacting in the like
Circumstances. Otherwise, as Avarice is the necessary Consequent of old
Age, those Immortals would in Time become Proprietors of the whole
Nation, and engross the Civil Power, which, for want of Abilities to
manage, must End in the Ruin of the Publick.
CHAPTER XI.
The Author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan. From thence he returns in
a Dutch Ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England.
I THOUGHT THIS Account of the Struldbruggs might be some
Entertainment to the Reader, because it seems to be a little out of the
common Way, at least, I do not remember to have met the like in any Book
of Travels that has come to my Hands: And if I am deceived, my Excuse
must be, that it is necessary for Travellers, who describe the same Country,
very often to agree in dwelling on the same Particulars, without deserving
the Censure of having borrowed or transcribed from those who wrote
before them.
There is indeed a perpetual Commerce between this Kingdom and the great
Empire of Japan, and it is very probable that the JapaneseAuthors may
have given some Account of the Struldbruggs; but my Stay in Japan was so
short, and I was so entirely a Stranger to that Language, that I was not
qualified to make any Enquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this Notice
will be curious and able enough to supply my Defects.
His Majesty having often pressed me to accept some Employment in his
Court, and finding me absolutely determined to return to my Native
Country, was pleased to give me his Licence to depart, and honoured me
with a Letter of Recommendation under his own Hand to the Emperor of
Japan. He likewise presented me with four hundred and forty four large
Pieces of Gold (this Nation delighting in even Numbers) and a red
Diamond, which I sold in England for eleven hundred Pounds.
On the sixth Day of May, 1709, I took a solemn Leave of his Majesty, and
all my Friends. This Prince was so gracious, as to order a Guard to
conduct me Glanguenstald, which is a Royal Port to the South-West Part of
the Island. In six Days I found a Vessel ready to carry me to Japan, and
spent fifteen Days in the Voyage. We landed at a small Port-Town called
Xamoschi, situated on the South-East Part of Japan; the Town lies on the
Western Point, where there is a narrow streight, leading Northward into a
long Arm of the Sea, upon the North-West Part of which Yedo, the
Metropolis stands. At Landing, I shewed the Custom-house Officers my
Letter from the King of Luggnagg to his Imperial Majesty. They knew the
Seal perfectly well; it was as broad as the Palm of my Hand. The
Impression was, A King lifting up a Lame Beggar from the Earth. The
Magistrates of the Town hearing of my Letter, received me as a Publick
Minister; they provided me with Carriages and Servants, and bore my
Charges to Yedo, where I was admitted to an Audience, and delivered my
Letter, which was opened with great Ceremony, and explained to the
Emperor by an Interpreter, who then gave me Notice by his Majesty's
Order, that I should signify my Request, and, whatever it were, it should
be granted for the sake of his Royal Brother of Luggnagg. This Interpreter
was a Person employed to transact Affairs with the Hollanders; he soon
conjectured by my Countenance that I was a European, and therefore
repeated his Majesty's Commands in Low-Dutch, which he spoke perfectly
well. I answered, (as I had before determined,) that I was a Dutch
Merchant, shipwrecked in a very remote Country, from whence I travelled
by Sea and Land to Luggnagg, and then took Shipping for Japan, where I
knew my Countrymen often traded, and with some of these I hoped to get
an Opportunity of returning into Europe: I therefore most humbly
entreated his Royal Favour, to give Order, that I should be conducted in
Safety to Nangasac. To this I added another Petition, that for the sake of
my Patron the King of Luggnagg, his Majesty would condescend to excuse
my performing the Ceremony imposed on my Countrymen of trampling
upon the Crucifix, because I had been thrown into his Kingdom by my
Misfortunes, without any Intention of Trading. When this latter Petition
was interpreted to the Emperor, he seemed a little surprized, and said, he
believed I was the first of my Countrymen who ever made any Scruple in
this Point, and that he began to doubt whether I was a real Hollander, or
no, but rather suspected I must be a CHRISTIAN. However, for the
Reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the King of Luggnagg, by an
uncommon Mark of his Favour, he would comply with the Singularity of
my Humour; but the Affair must be managed with Dexterity, and his
Officers should be commanded to let me pass, as it were, by Forgetfulness.
For he assured me, that if the Secret should be discovered by my
Countrymen, the Dutch, they would cut my Throat in the Voyage. I
returned my Thanks by the Interpreter, for so unusual a Favour, and some
Troops being at that Time on their March to Nangasac, the Commanding
Officer had Orders to convey me safe thither, with particular Instructions
about the Business of the Crucifix.
On the 9th Day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very long and
troublesome Journey. I soon fell into the Company of some Dutch Sailors
belonging to the Amboyna of Amsterdam, a stout Ship of 450 Tons. I had
lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch
well. The Seamen soon knew from whence I came last: they were curious
to enquire into my Voyages and Course of Life. I made up a Story as short
and probable as I could, but concealed the greatest Part. I knew many
Persons in Holland; I was able to invent Names for my Parents, whom I
pretended to be obscure People in the Province of Gelderland. I would
have given the Captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he pleased to ask
for my Voyage to Holland; but understanding I was a Surgeon, he was
contented to take half the usual Rate, on Condition that I would serve him
in the way of my Calling. Before we took Shipping, I was often asked by
some of the Crew, whether I had performed the Ceremony above-
mentioned: I evaded the Question by general Answers, that I had satisfied
the Emperor and Court in all Particulars. However, a malicious Rogue of a
Skipper went to an Officer, and pointing to me, told him I had not yet
trampled on the Crucifix: But the other, who had received Instructions to
let me pass, gave the Rascal twenty Strokes on the Shoulders with a
Bamboo, after which I was no more troubled with such Questions.
Nothing happened worth mentioning in this Voyage. We sailed with a fair
Wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we stayed only to take in fresh
Water. On the 16th of April we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having lost
only three Men by Sickness in the Voyage, and a fourth who fell from the
Fore-mast into the Sea, not far from the Coast of Guinea. From
Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England, in a small Vessel belonging to
that City.
On the 10th of April, 1710, we put in at the Downs. I landed the next
Morning, and saw once more my native Country, after an Absence of five
Years and six Months compleat. I went strait to Redriff, where I arrived
the same Day at Two in the Afternoon, and found my Wife and Family in
good Health.
THE END OF THE THIRD PART.
PART IV. A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS.
[Plate 4: Houyhnhnms Land]
CHAPTER I.
The Author sets out as a Captain of a Ship. His Men conspire against him,
confine him a long time to his Cabbin, set him on shore in an unknown
Land. He Travels up in the Country. The Yahoos a strange Sort of Animal
described. The Author meets two Houyhnhnms.
I CONTINUED at home with my Wife and Children about five Months in
a very happy Condition, if I could have learned the Lesson of knowing
when I was well. I left my poor Wife big with Child, and accepted an
advantagious Offer made me to be Captain of the Adventure, a stout
Merchant-Man of 350 Tuns: For I understood Navigation well, and being
grown weary of a Surgeon's Employment at Sea, which however I could
exercise upon occasion, I took a skillful young Man of that Calling, one
Robert Purefoy, into my Ship. We set sail from Portsmouth upon the
second Day of August, 1710; on the Fourteenth, we met with Captain
Pocock of Bristol, at Tenariff, who was going to the Bay of Campechy, to
cut Logwood. On the Sixteenth, he was parted from us by a Storm; I heard
since my Return that his Ship foundered, and none escaped but one Cabbin-
Boy. He was an honest Man, and a good Sailor, but a little too positive in
his own Opinions, which was the Cause of his Destruction, as it has been of
several others. For if he had followed my Advice, he might have been safe
at home with his Family at this Time, as well as myself.
I had several Men die in my Ship of Calentures, so that I was forced to get
Recruits out of Barbadoes, and the Leeward Islands, where I touched by
the Direction of the Merchants who employed me, which I had soon too
much Cause to repent; for I found afterwards that most of them had been
Buccaneers. I had Fifty Hands on board, and my Orders were, that I should
trade with the Indians, in the South-Sea, and make what Discoveries I
could. These Rogues whom I had picked up debauched my other Men, and
they all formed a Conspiracy to seize the Ship and secure me; which they
did one Morning, rushing into my Cabbin, and binding me Hand and Foot,
threatening to throw me over-board, if I offered to stir. I told them, I was
their Prisoner, and would submit. This they made me swear to do, and then
they unbound me, only fastening one of my Legs with a Chain near my
Bed, and placed a Centry at my Door, with his Piece charged, who was
commanded to shoot me dead, if I attempted my Liberty. They sent me
down Victuals and Drink, and took the Government of the Ship to
themselves. Their Design was to turn Pyrates, and plunder the Spaniards,
which they could not do, till they got more Men. But first they resolved to
sell the Goods in the Ship, and then go to Madagascar for Recruits, several
among them having died since my Confinement. They sailed many Weeks,
and traded with the Indians, but I knew not what Course they took, being
kept a close Prisoner in my Cabbin, and expecting nothing less than to be
murdered, as they often threatened me.
Upon the Ninth Day of May 1711, one James Welch came down to my
Cabbin; and said he had Orders from the Captain to set me a-shore. I
expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me
who their new Captain was. They forced me into the Long-boat, letting me
put on my best Suit of Cloaths, which were as good as New, and a small
bundle of Linnen, but no Arms except my Hanger; and they were so civil
as not to search my Pockets, into which I conveyed what Money I had, with
some other little Necessaries. They rowed about a League, and then set me
down on a Strand. I desired them to tell me what Country it was. They all
swore they knew no more than myself, but said, that the Captain (as they
called him) was resolved, after they had sold the Lading, to get rid of me
in the first Place where they could discover Land. They pushed off
immediately, advising me to make haste, for Fear of being overtaken by
the Tide, and so bade me Farewell.
In this desolate Condition I advanced forward, and soon got upon Ground,
where I sate down on a Bank to rest my self, and consider what I had best
do. When I was a little refreshed I went up into the Country, resolving to
deliver my self to the first Savages I should meet, and purchase my Life
from them by some Bracelets, Glass-rings, and other Toys, which Sailors
usually provide themselves with in those Voyages, and whereof I had some
about me: The Land was divided by long Rows of Trees, not regularly
planted, but naturally growing; there was plenty of Grass, and several
Fields of Oats. I walked very circumspectly for Fear of being surprized, or
suddenly shot with an Arrow from behind or on either side. I fell into a
beaten Road, where I saw many Tracks of human Feet, and some of Cows,
but most of Horses. At last I beheld several Animals in a Field, and one or
two of the same kind sitting in Trees. Their Shape was very singular and
deformed, which a little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a
Thicket to observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the
Place where I lay, gave me an Opportunity of distinctly marking their
Form. Their Heads and Breasts were covered with a thick Hair, some
frizzled and others lank; they had Beards like Goats, and a long ridge of
Hair down their Backs and the fore-parts of their Legs and Feet, but the
rest of their Bodies were bare, so that I might see their Skins, which were
of a brown buff Colour. They had no Tails, nor any Hair at all on their
Buttocks, except about the Anus; which, I presume, Nature had placed
there to defend them as they sate on the Ground; for this Posture they used,
as well as lying down, and often stood on their hind Feet. They climbed
high Trees, as nimbly as a Squirrel, for they had strong extended Claws
before and behind, terminating in sharp points, and hooked. They would
often spring, and bound, and leap with prodigious Agility. The Females
were not so large as the Males, they had long lank Hair on their Heads, but
none on their Faces, nor any thing more than a sort of Down on the rest of
their Bodies, except about the Anus, and Pudenda. Their Dugs hung
between their Fore-feet, and often reached almost to the Ground as they
walked. The Hair of both Sexes was of several Colours, brown, red, black
and yellow. Upon the whole, I never beheld in all my Travels so
disagreeable an Animal, nor one against which I naturally conceived so
strong an Antipathy. So that thinking I had seen enough, full of Contempt
and Aversion, I got up and pursued the beaten Road, hoping it might direct
me to the Cabbin of some Indian. I had not got far when I met one of these
Creatures full in my way, and coming up directly to me. The ugly
Monster, when he saw me, distorted several ways every Feature of his
Visage, and stared as at an Object he had never seen before; then
approaching nearer, lifted up his Fore-paw, whether out of Curiosity or
Mischief, I could not tell. But I drew my Hanger, and gave him a good
Blow with the flat Side of it, for I durst not strike him with the Edge,
fearing the Inhabitants might be provoked against me, if they should come
to know, that I had killed or maimed any of their Cattle. When the Beast
felt the smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a Herd of at least
forty came flocking about me from the next Field, houling and making
odious Faces; but I ran to the Body of a Tree, and leaning my Back against
it, kept them off, by waving my Hanger. Several of this cursed Brood
getting hold of the Branches behind, leaped up in the Tree, from whence
they began to discharge their Excrements on my Head: However, I escaped
pretty well, by sticking close to the Stem of the Tree, but was almost stifled
with the Filth, which fell about me on every side.
In the midst of this Distress, I observed them all to run away on a sudden
as fast as they could, at which I ventured to leave the Tree, and pursue the
Road, wondring what it was that could put them into this Fright. But
looking on my Left-hand, I saw a Horse walking softly in the Field: which
my Persecutors having sooner discovered, was the Cause of their Flight.
The Horse started a little when he came near me, but soon recovering
himself, looked full in my Face with manifest Tokens of Wonder: He
viewed my Hands and Feet, walking round me several times. I would have
pursued my Journey, but he placed himself directly in the way, yet looking
with a very mild Aspect, never offering the least Violence. We stood
gazing at each other for some time; at last I took the Boldness, to reach my
Hand towards his Neck, with a Design to stroak it using the common Style
and Whistle of Jockies when they are going to handle a strange Horse. But
this Animal seeming to receive my Civilities with Disdain, shook his Head,
and bent his Brows, softly raising up his right Fore-foot to remove my
Hand. Then he neighed three or four times, but in so different a Cadence,
that I almost began to think he was speaking to himself in some Language
of his own.
While he and I were thus employed, another Horse came up; who applying
himself to the first in a very formal Manner, they gently struck each
other's right Hoof before, neighing several times by turns, and varying the
Sound, which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some Paces off, as
if it were to confer together, walking Side by Side, backward and forward,
like Persons deliberating upon some Affair of Weight, but often turning
their Eyes towards me, as it were to watch that I might not escape. I was
amazed to see such Actions and Behaviours in brute Beasts, and concluded
with myself, that if the Inhabitants of this Country were endued with a
proportionable Degree of Reason, they must needs be the wisest People
upon Earth. This Thought gave me so much Comfort, that I resolved to go
forward until I could discover some House or Village, or meet with any of
the Natives, leaving the two Horses to discourse together as they pleased.
But the first, who was a Dapple-Gray, observing me to steal off, neighed
after me in so expressive a Tone, that I fancied myself to understand what
he meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near him, to expect his
farther Commands. But concealing my Fear as much as I could, for I began
to be in some Pain, how this Adventure might terminate; and the Reader
will easily believe I did not much like my present Situation.
The two Horses came up close to me, looking with great Earnestness upon
my Face and Hands. The gray Steed rubbed my Hat all round with his right
Fore-hoof, and discomposed it so much, that I was forced to adjust it
better, by taking it off, and settling it again; whereat both he and his
Companion (who was a brown bay) appeared to be much surprized, the
latter felt the Lappet of my Coat, and finding it to hang loose about me,
they both looked with new Signs of Wonder. He stroked my Right-hand,
seeming to admire the Softness, and Colour; but he squeezed it so hard
between his Hoof and his Pastern, that I was forced to roar; after which
they both touched me with all possible Tenderness. They were under great
Perplexity about my Shoes and Stockings, which they felt very often,
neighing to each other, and using various Gestures, not unlike those of a
Philosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new and difficult
Ph¾nomenon.
Upon the whole, the Behaviour of these Animals was so orderly and
rational, so acute and judicious, that I at last concluded, they must needs be
Magicians, who had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some design, and
seeing a Stranger in the way, were resolved to divert themselves with him;
or perhaps were really amazed at the sight of a Man so very different in
Habit, Feature, and Complection from those who might probably live so
remote a Climate. Upon the Strength of this Reasoning, I ventured to
address them in the following Manner: Gentlemen, if you be Conjurers, as
I have good Cause to believe, you can understand any Language; therefore
I make bold to let your Worships know that I am a poor distressed English
Man, driven by his Misfortunes upon your Coast, and I entreat one of you,
to let me ride upon his Back, as if he were a real Horse, to some House or
Village, where I can be relieved. In return of which Favour, I will make
you a Present of this Knife and Bracelet (taking them out of my Pocket).
The two Creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great
Attention; and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each
other, as if they were engaged in serious Conversation. I plainly observed,
that their Language expressed the Passions very well, and their Words
might with little Pains be resolved into an Alphabet more easily than the
Chinese.
I could frequently distinguish the Word Yahoo, which was repeated by
each of them several times; and altho' it was impossible for me to
conjecture what it meant; yet while the two Horses were busy in
Conversation, I endeavoured to practice this Word upon my Tongue; and
as soon as they were silent, I boldly pronounced Yahoo in a loud Voice,
imitating, at the same time, as near as I could, the Neighing of a Horse; at
which they were both visibly surprized, and the Gray repeated the same
Word twice, as if he meant to teach me the right Accent, wherein I spoke
after him as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improve
every time, though very far from any Degree of Perfection. Then the Bay
tried me with a second Word, much harder to be pronounced; but reducing
it to the English Orthography, may be spelt thus, Houyhnhnm. I did not
succeed in this so well as the former, but after two or three farther Trials,
I had better Fortune; and they both appeared amazed at my Capacity.
After some further Discourse; which I then conjectured might relate to me,
the two Friends took their Leaves, with the same Compliment of striking
each other's Hoof; and the Gray made me Signs that I should walk before
him, wherein I thought it prudent to comply, till I could find a better
Director. When I offered to slacken my Pace, he would cry Hhuun, Hhuun;
I guessed his Meaning, and gave him to understand as well as I could, that I
was weary, and not able to walk faster; upon which he would stand a while
to let me rest.
CHAPTER II.
The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his House. The House described.
The Author's Reception. The Food of the Houyhnhnms. The Author in
Distress for Want of Meat, is at last relieved. His Manner of feeding in this
Country.
HAVING traveled about three Miles, we came to a long kind of Building,
made of Timber, stuck in the Ground, and wattled a-cross; the Roof was
low, and covered with Straw. I now began to be a little comforted, and
took out some Toys, which Travellers usually carry for Presents to the
Savage Indians of America and other Parts, in hopes the People of the
House would be thereby encouraged to receive me kindly. The Horse made
me a Sign to go in first; it was a large Room with a smooth Clay Floor, and
a Rack and Manger extending the whole Length on one side. There were
three Nags, and two Mares, not eating, but some of them sitting down upon
their Hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more to see the
rest employed in domestick Business. These seemed but ordinary Cattle,
however this confirmed my first Opinion, that a People who could so far
civilize brute Animals, must needs excel in Wisdom all the Nations of the
World. The Gray came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill
Treatment, which the others might have given me. He neighed to them
several times in a style of Authority, and received Answers.
Beyond this Room there were three others, reaching the Length of the
House, to which you passed through three Doors, opposite to each other, in
the manner of a Vista; we went through the second Room towards the
third, here the Gray walked in first, beckoning me to attend: I waited in the
second Room, and got ready my Presents, for the Master and Mistress of
the House: They were two Knives, three Bracelets of false Pearl, a small
Looking-glass and a Bead Necklace. The Horse neighed three or four
times, and I waited to hear some Answers in a human Voice, but I heard no
other Returns, than in the same Dialect, only one or two a little shriller
than his. I began to think that this House must belong to some Person of
great Note among them, because there appeared so much Ceremony before
I could gain Admittance. But, that a Man of Quality should be served all by
Horses, was beyond my Comprehension. I feared my Brain was disturbed
by my Sufferings and Misfortunes: I roused my self, and looked about me
in the Room where I was left alone; this was furnished like the first, only
after a more elegant Manner. I rubbed my Eyes often, but the same Objects
still occurred. I pinched my Arms and Sides to awake myself, hoping I
might be in a Dream. I then absolutely concluded, that all these
Appearances could be nothing else but Necromancy and Magick. But I had
no time to pursue these Reflections; for the Gray Horse came to the Door,
and made me a Sign to follow him into the third Room, where I saw a very
comely Mare, together with a Colt and Fole, sitting on their Haunches,
upon Matts of Straw, not unartfully made, and perfectly neat and clean.
The Mare soon after my Entrance, rose from her Matt, and coming up
close, after having nicely observed my Hands and Face, gave me a most
contemptuous Look; then turning to the Horse, I heard the Word Yahoo
often repeated betwixt them; the Meaning of which Word I could not then
comprehend, although it were the first I had learned to pronounce; but I
was soon better informed, to my everlasting Mortification: For the Horse
beckoning to me with his Head, and repeating the Word Hhuun, Hhuun, as
he did upon the Road, which I understood was to attend him, led me out
into a kind of Court, where was another Building at some Distance from
the House. Here we enter'd, and I saw three of these detestable Creatures,
whom I first met after my Landing, feeding upon Roots, and the Flesh of
some Animals, which I afterwards found to be that of Asses and Dogs, and
now and then a Cow dead by Accident or Disease. They were all tyed by
the Neck with strong Wyths fastened to a Beam; they held their Food
between the Claws of their Fore-feet, and tore it with their Teeth.
The Master Horse ordered a Sorrel Nag, one of his Servants, to untie the
largest of these Animals, and take him into the Yard. The Beast and I were
brought close together; and our Countenances diligently compared, both by
Master and Servant, who thereupon repeated several times the Word
Yahoo. My Horror and Astonishment are not to be described, when I
observed, in this abominable Animal, a perfect human Figure; the Face of
it indeed was flat and broad, the Nose depressed, the Lips large, and the
Mouth wide. But these Differences are common to all Savage Nations,
where the Lineaments of the Countenance are distorted by the Natives
suffering their Infants to lie groveling on the Earth, or by carrying them
on their Backs, nuzzling with their Face against the Mother's Shoulders.
The Fore- feet of the Yahoo differed from my Hands in nothing else, but
the Length of the Nails, the Coarseness and Brownness of the Palms, and
the Hairiness on the Backs. There was the same Resemblance between our
Feet, with the same Differences, which I knew very well, tho' the Horses
did not, because of my Shoes and Stockings; the same in every Part of our
Bodies, except as to Hairiness and Colour, which I have already described.
The great Difficulty that seemed to stick with the two Horses, was, to see
the rest of my Body so very different from that of a Yahoo, for which I
was obliged to my Cloaths whereof they had no Conception: The Sorrel
Nag offered me a Root, which he held (after their Manner, as we shall
describe in its proper Place) between his Hoof and Pastern; I took it in my
Hand, and having smelt it, returned it to him again as civilly as I could. He
brought out of the Yahoo's Kennel a Piece of Ass's Flesh, but it smelt so
offensively that I turned from it with loathing; he then threw it to the
Yahoo, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterwards shewed me a
Whisp of Hay, and a Fetlock full of Oats; but I shook my Head, to signify
that neither of these were Food for me. And indeed, I now apprehended,
that I must absolutely starve, if I did not get to some of my own Species:
For as to those filthy Yahoos, although there were few greater Lovers of
Mankind, at that time, than myself; yet I confess I never saw any sensitive
Being so detestable on all Accounts; and the more I came near them, the
more hateful they grew, while I stayed in that Country. This the Master
Horse observed by my Behaviour, and therefore sent the Yahoo back to his
Kennel. He then put his Fore- hoof to his Mouth, at which I was much
surprized, although he did it with Ease, and with a Motion that appeared
perfectly natural, and made other Signs to know what I would eat; but I
could not return him such an Answer as he was able to apprehend; and if
he had understood me, I did not see how it was possible to contrive any
way for finding my self Nourishment. While we were thus engaged, I
observed a Cow passing by, whereupon I pointed to her, and expressed a
Desire to let me go and milk her. This had its Effect; for he led me back
into the House, and ordered a Mare-Servant to open a Room, where a good
store of Milk lay in Earthen and Wooden Vessels, after a very orderly and
cleanly Manner. She gave me a large Bowl full, of which I drank very
heartily, and found my self well refreshed.
About Noon I saw coming towards the House a kind of Vehicle, drawn like
a Sledge by Four Yahoos. There was in it an old Steed, who seemed to be
of Quality, he alighted with his Hind-feet forward, having by Accident got
a Hurt in his Left Fore-foot. He came to dine with our Horse, who received
him with great Civility. They dined in the best Room, and had Oats boiled
in Milk for the second Course, which the old Horse ate warm, but the rest
cold. Their Mangers were placed circular in the middle of the Room, and
divided into several Partitions, round which they sate on their Haunches
upon Bosses of Straw. In the Middle was a large Rack with Angles
answering to every Partition of the Manger. So that each Horse and Mare
eat their own Hay, and their own Mash of Oats and Milk, with much
Decency and Regularity. The Behaviour of the young Colt and Fole
appeared very modest, and that of the Master and Mistress extremely
cheerful and complaisant to their Guest. The Grey ordered me to stand by
him, and much Discourse passed between him and his Friend concerning
me, as I found by the Stranger's often looking on me, and the frequent
Repetition of the Word Yahoo.
I happened to wear my Gloves, which the Master-Gray observing, seemed
perplexed, discovering Signs of Wonder what I had done to my Fore- feet;
he put his Hoof three or four times to them, as if he would signify, that I
should reduce them to their former Shape, which I presently did, pulling
off both my Gloves, and putting them into my Pocket. This occasioned
farther Talk, and I saw the Company was pleased with my Behaviour,
whereof I soon found the good Effects. I was ordered to speak the few
Words I understood, and while they were at Dinner, the Master taught me
the Names for Oats, Milk, Fire, Water, and some others; which I could
readily pronounce after him, having from my Youth a great Facility in
learning Languages.
When Dinner was done, the Master Horse took me aside, and by Signs and
Words made me understand the Concern that he was in, that I had nothing
to eat. Oats in their Tongue are called hlunnh. This Word I pronounced
two or three times; for although I had refused them at first, yet upon
second Thoughts I considered that I could contrive to make of them a kind
of Bread, which might be sufficient with Milk to keep me alive, till I could
make my Escape to some other Country, and to Creatures of my own
Species. The Horse immediately ordered a White Mare-servant of his
Family to bring me a good Quantity of Oats in a sort of Wooden Tray.
These I heated before the Fire as well as I could, and rubbed them till the
Husks came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the Grain; I ground
and beat them between two Stones, then took Water, and made them into a
Paste or Cake, which I toasted at the Fire, and eat warm with Milk. It was
at first a very insipid Diet, though common enough in many Parts of
Europe, but grew tolerable by Time; and having been often reduced to
hard Fare in my Life, this was not the first Experiment I had made how
easily Nature is satisfied. And I cannot but observe, that I never had one
Hour's Sickness, while I staid in this Island. 'Tis true, I sometimes made a
shift to catch a Rabbet, or Bird, by Springes made of Yahoos Hair, and I
often gathered wholesome Herbs, which I boiled, or eat as Salades with my
Bread, and now and then, for a Rarity, I made a little Butter, and drank the
Whey. I was at first at a great loss for Salt; but Custom soon reconciled the
Want of it; and I am confident that the frequent use of Salt among us is an
Effect of Luxury, and was first introduced only as a Provocative to Drink;
except where it is necessary for preserving of Flesh in long Voyages, or in
Places remote from great Markets. For we observe no Animal to be fond
of it but Man: And as to myself, when I left this Country, it was a great
while before I could endure the Taste of it in anything that I eat.
This is enough to say upon the Subject of my Dyet, wherewith other
Travellers fill their Books, as if the Readers were personally concerned,
whether we fared well or ill. However, it necessary to mention this Matter,
lest the World should think it impossible that I could find Sustenance for
three Years in such a Country, and among such Inhabitants.
When it grew towards Evening, the Master Horse ordered a Place for me
to lodge in: it was but Six Yards from the House, and separated from the
Stable of the Yahoos. Here I got some Straw, and covering myself with my
own Cloaths, slept very sound. But I was in a short time better
accommodated, as the Reader shall know hereafter, when I come to treat
more particularly about my way of living.
CHAPTER III.
The Author studious to learn the Language, the Houyhnhnm, his Master
assists in teaching him. The Language described. Several Houyhnhnms of
Quality come out of Curiosity to see the Author. His gives his Master a
short Account of his Voyage.
MY PRINCIPAL Endeavour was to learn the Language, which my Master
(for so I shall henceforth call him) and his Children, and every Servant of
his House, were desirous to teach me. For they looked upon it as a Prodigy
that a brute Animal should discover such Marks of a rational Creature. I
pointed to every Thing and enquired the Name of it, which I wrote down
in my Journal Book when I was alone, and corrected my bad Accent by
desiring those of the Family to pronounce it often. In this Employment, a
Sorrel Nag, one of the under Servants, was ready to assist me.
In speaking, they pronounce through the Nose and Throat, and their
Language approaches nearest to the High-Dutch or German, of any I know
in Europe; but is much more graceful and significant. The Emperor
Charles V. made almost the same Observation, when he said, That if he
were to speak to his Horse, it should be in High Dutch.
The Curiosity and Impatience of my Master were so great, that he spent
many Hours of his Leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as he
afterwards told me) that I must be a Yahoo, but my Teachableness,
Civility, and Cleanliness, astonished him; which were Qualities altogether
so opposite to those Animals, he was most perplexed about my Cloaths,
reasoning sometimes with himself whether they were a Part of my Body;
for I never pulled them off till the Family were asleep, and got them on
before they waked in the Morning. My Master was eager to learn from
where I came, how I acquired those Appearances of Reason, which I
discovered in all my Actions, and to know my Story from my own Mouth,
which he hoped he should soon do by the great Proficiency I made in
learning and pronouncing their Words and Sentences. To help my
Memory, I formed all I learned into the English Alphabet, and wrote the
Words down with the Translations. This last, after some time I ventured to
do in my Master's Presence. It cost me much Trouble to explain to him
what I was doing; for the Inhabitants have not the least idea of Books or
Literature.
In about Ten Weeks time I was able to understand most of his Questions,
and in three Months could give him some tolerable Answers. He was
extremely curious to know from what Part of the Country I came, and how
I was taught to imitate a rational Creature; because the Yahoos (whom he
saw I exactly resembled in my Head, Hands, and Face, that were only
visible,) with some Appearance of Cunning, and the strongest Disposition
to Mischief, were observed to be the most unteachable of all Brutes. I
answered, That I came over the Sea from a far Place, with many others of
my own Kind, in a great hollow Vessel made of the Bodies of Trees. That
my Companions forced me to land on this Coast, and then left me to shift
for myself. It was with some Difficulty, and by the help of many Signs,
that I brought him to understand me. He replied, That I must needs be
mistaken, or that I said the Thing which was not. For they have no Word in
their Language to express Lying or Falsehood. He knew it was impossible
that there could be a Country beyond the Sea, or that a parcel of Brutes
could move a Wooden Vessel whither they pleased upon Water. He was
sure no Houyhnhnm alive could make such a Vessel, nor would trust
Yahoos to manage it.
The Word Houyhnhnm, in their Tongue, signifies a Horse, and in its
Etymology, the Perfection of Nature. I told my Master, that I was at a loss
for Expression, but would improve as fast as I could; and hoped in a short
time I should be able to tell him Wonders: He was pleased to direct his own
Mare, his Colt and Fole, and the Servants of the Family to take all
Opportunities of instructing me, and every Day for two or three Hours, he
was at the same Pains himself: Several Horses and Mares of Quality in the
Neighbourhood came often to our House upon the Report spread of a
wonderful Yahoo, that could speak like a Houyhnhnm, and seemed in his
Words and Actions to discover some Glimmerings of Reason. These
delighted to converse with me; they put many Questions, and received such
Answers, as I was able to return. By all these Advantages, I made so great
a Progress, that in five Months from my arrival, I understood whatever
was spoke, and could express myself tolerably well.
The Houyhnhnms who came to visit my Master with the Design of seeing
and talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right Yahoo, because
my Body had a different Covering from others of my Kind. They were
astonished to observe me without the usual Hair or Skin, except on my
Head, Face, and Hands; but I discovered that Secret to my Master, upon an
Accident, which happened about a Fortnight before.
I have already told the Reader, that every Night when the Family were
gone to Bed it was my Custom, to strip and cover my self with my Cloaths:
It happened one Morning early, that my Master sent for me, by the Sorrel
Nag, who was his Valet; when he came, I was fast asleep, my Cloaths fallen
off on one side, and my Shirt above my Waste. I awakened at the Noise he
made, and observed him to deliver his Message in some Disorder; after
which he went to my Master, and in a great Fright gave him a very
confused Account of what he had seen: This I presently discovered; for
going as soon as I was dressed, to pay my Attendance upon his Honour, he
asked me the Meaning of what his Servant had reported, that I was not the
same Thing when I slept as I appeared to be at other times; that his Valet
assured him, some Part of me was White, some Yellow, at least not so
White, and some Brown.
I had hitherto concealed the Secret of my Dress, in order to distinguish
myself as much as I could from that cursed Race of Yahoos; but now I
found it in vain to do so any longer. Besides, I considered that my Cloaths
and Shoes would soon wear out, which already were in a declining
Condition, and must be supplied by some Contrivance from the Hides of
Yahoos or other Brutes; whereby the whole Secret would be known. I
therefore told my Master, That in the Country from whence I came, those
of my kind always covered their Bodies with the Hairs of certain Animals
prepared by Art, as well for Decency, as to avoid the Inclemencies of Air
both Hot and Cold; of which, as to my own Person, I would give him
immediate Conviction, if he pleased to command me; only desiring his
Excuse, if I did not expose those Parts, that Nature taught us to conceal. He
said my Discourse was all very strange, but especially the last Part; for he
could not understand why Nature should teach us to conceal what Nature
had given. That neither himself nor Family were ashamed of any Parts of
their Bodies; but however I might do as I pleased. Whereupon, I first
unbuttoned my Coat and pulled it off. I did the same with my Waste-coat; I
drew off my Shoes, Stockings, and Breeches. I let my Shirt down to my
Waste, and drew up the Bottom, fastening it like a girdle about my Middle
to hide my Nakedness.
My Master observed the whole Performance with great Signs of Curiosity
and Admiration. He took up all my Cloaths in his Pastern, one Piece after
another, and examined them diligently; he then stroakd my Body very
gently, and looked round me several times, after which he said, it was plain
I must be a perfect Yahoo; but that I differed very much from the rest of
my Species, in the Softness and Whiteness and Smoothness of my Skin, my
Want of Hair in several Parts of my Body, the Shape and Shortness of my
Claws behind and before, and my affectation of walking continually on my
two Hinder-feet. He desired to see no more, and gave me Leave to put on
my Cloaths again, for I was shuddering with Cold.
I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the Appellation of
Yahoo, an odious Animal, for which I had so utter an Hatred and
Contempt. I begged he would forbear applying that Word to me, and take
the same Order in his Family, and among his Friends whom he suffered to
see me. I requested likewise, that the Secret of my having a false Covering
to my Body might be known to none but Himself, at least as long as my
present Cloathing should last; for as to what the Sorrel Nag his Valet had
observed, his Honour might command him to conceal it.
All this my Master very graciously consented to, and thus the Secret was
kept till my Cloaths began to wear out, which I was forced to supply by
several Contrivances, that shall hereafter be mentioned. In the mean time,
he desired I would go on with my utmost Diligence to learn their
Language, because he was more astonished at my Capacity for Speech and
Reason, than at the Figure of my Body, whether it were covered or no;
adding that he waited with some Impatience to hear the Wonders which I
promised to tell him.
From thenceforward he doubled the Pains he had been at to instruct me; he
brought me into all Company, and made them treat me with Civility,
because, as he told them privately, this would put me into good Humour,
and make me more diverting.
Every Day when I waited on him, beside the Trouble he was at in teaching,
he would ask me several Questions concerning myself, which I answered as
well as I could; and by these Means he had already received some general
Ideas, though very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate the several
Steps, by which I advanced to a more regular Conversation: But the first
Account I gave of myself in any Order and Length, was to this Purpose:
That I came from a very far Country, as I already had attempted to tell
him with about Fifty more of my own Species; that we travelled upon the
Seas, in a great hollow Vessel made of Wood, and larger than his Honour's
House. I described the Ship to him in the best Terms I could, and explained
by the help of my Handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by
the Wind. That upon a Quarrel among us, I was set on Shoar on this Coast,
where I walked forward without knowing whither, till he delivered me
from the Persecution of those execrable Yahoos. He asked me, Who made
the Ship, and how it was possible that theHouyhnhnms of my Country
would leave it to the Management of Brutes? My Answer was, That I durst
proceed no further in my Relation, unless he would give me his Word and
Honour that he would not be offended, and then I would tell him the
Wonders I had so often promised. He agreed; and I went on by assuring
him, that the Ship was made by Creatures like myself, who in all the
Countries I had travelled, as well as in my own, were the only governing,
rational Animals; and that upon my Arrival hither, I was as much
astonished to see theHouyhnhnms act like rational beings, as he or his
Friends could be finding some Marks of Reason in a Creature he was
pleased to call a Yahoo, to which I owned my Resemblance in every Part,
but could not account for their degenerate and brutal Nature. I said farther,
That if good Fortune ever restored me to my native Country, to relate my
Travels hither, as I resolved to do, every body would believe that I said the
Thing which was not; that I invented the Story out of my own Head; and
with all possible respect to Himself, his Family, and Friends, and under his
Promise of not being offended, our Countrymen would hardly think it
probable, that a Houyhnhnm should be the presiding Creature of a Nation,
and a Yahoo the Brute.
CHAPTER IV.
The Houyhnhnm notion of Truth and Falsehood. The Author's Discourse
disapproved by his Master. The Author gives a more particular Account of
himself, and the Accidents of his Voyage.
MY MASTER heard me with great Appearances of Uneasiness in his
Countenance, because Doubting, or not believing, are so little known in this
Country, that the Inhabitants cannot tell how to behave themselves under
such Circumstances. And I remember in frequent Discourses with my
Master concerning the Nature of Manhood, in other Parts of the World,
having occasion to talk of Lying, and false Representation, it was with
much Difficulty that he comprehended what I meant, although he had
otherwise a most acute Judgment. For he argued thus: That the Use of
Speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive Information
of Facts; now if anyone said the Thing which was not, these Ends were
Defeated; because I cannot properly be said to understand him; and I am so
far from receiving Information, that he leaves me worse than in Ignorance,
for I am led to believe a Thing Black when it is White, and Short when it is
Long. And these were all the Notions he had concerning that Faculty of
Lying, so perfectly well understood among human Creatures.
To return from this Digression; when I asserted that the Yahoos were the
only governing Animals in my Country, which my Master said was
altogether past his Conception, he desired to know whether we had
Houyhnhnms among us, and what was their Employment: I told him we
had great Numbers, that in Summer they grazed in the Fields, and in
Winter were kept in Houses, with Hay and Oats, when Yahoo-Servants
were employed to rub their Skins smooth, comb their Manes, pick their
Feet, serve them with Food, and make their Beds. I understand you well,
said my Master, it is now very plain, from all you have spoken, that
whatever share of Reason the Yahoos pretend to, the Houyhnhnms are your
Masters; I heartily wish our Yahoos would be so tractable. I begged his
Honour would please to excuse me from proceeding any farther, because I
was very certain that the Account he expected from me would be highly
displeasing. But he insisted in commanding me to let him know the best and
the worst: I told him, he should be obeyed. I owned, that
theHouyhnhnmsamong us, whom we called Horses, were the most generous
and comely Animal we had, that they excelled in Strength and Swiftness;
and when they belonged to Persons of Quality, employed in Travelling,
Racing, or drawing Chariots, they were treated with much Kindness and
Care, till they fell into Diseases or became foundred in the Feet; and then
they were sold, and used to all kind of Drudgery till they died; after which
their Skins were stripped and sold for what they were worth, and their
Bodies left to be devoured by Dogs and Birds of Prey. But the common
Race of Horses had not so good Fortune, being kept by Farmers and
Carriers and other mean People, who put them to greater Labor, and feed
them worse. I described as well as I could, our way of Riding, the Shape
and Use of a Bridle, a Saddle, a Spur, and a Whip, of Harness and Wheels.
I added, that we fastned Plates of a certain hard Substance called Iron at the
Bottom of their Feet, to preserve their Hoofs from being broken by the
Stony Ways on which we often travelled.
My Master, after some Expressions of great Indignation, wondered how we
dared to venture upon a Houyhnhnm's Back, for he was sure, that the
weakest Servant in his House would be able to shake off the strongest
Yahoo, or by lying down, and rolling on his Back, squeeze the Brute to
Death. I answered, That our Horses were trained up from three or four
Years old to the several uses we intended them for; That if any of them
proved intolerably vicious, they were employed for Carriages; that they
were severely beaten while they were young, for any mischievous Tricks:
That the Males, designed for common Use of Riding or Draught, were
generally castrated about two Years after their Birth, to take down their
Spirits, and make them more tame and gentle; that they were indeed
sensible of Rewards and Punishments; but his Honour would please to
consider, that they had not the least Tincture of Reason any more than the
Yahoos in this Country.
It put me to the pains of many Circumlocutions to give my Master a right
Idea of what I spoke; for their Language doth not abound in variety of
Words, because their Wants and Passions are fewer than among us. But it is
impossible to repeat his noble Resentment at our savage Treatment of the
Houyhnhnm Race, particularly after I had explained the Manner and use of
castrating Horses among us, to hinder them from propagating their Kind,
and to render them more servile. He said. if it were possible there could be
any Country where Yahoos alone were endued with Reason, they certainly
must be the governing Animal, because Reason will in time always prevail
against Brutal Strength. But, considering the Frame of our Bodies, and
especially of mine, he thought no Creature of equal Bulk was so ill
contrived, for employing that Reason in the common Office of Life;
whereupon he desired to know whether those among whom I lived,
resembled me or the Yahoos of his Country. I assured him, that I was as
well shaped as most of my Age; but the younger and the Females were
much more soft and tender, and the Skins of the latter generally as White
as Milk. He said, I differed indeed from other Yahoos, being much more
cleanly, and not altogether so deformed, but in point of real Advantage, he
thought I differed for the worse. That my Nails were of no Use either to
my Fore or Hinder-Feet: As to my Fore-Feet he could not properly call
them by that Name, for he never observed me to walk upon them; that they
were too soft to bear the Ground; that I generally went with them
uncovered, neither was the Covering I sometimes wore on them, of the
same Shape, or so strong as that on my Feet behind. That I could not walk
with any Security, for if either of my Hinder-Feet slipped, I must
inevitably fall. He then began to find Fault with other Parts of my Body,
the Flatness of my Face, the Prominence of my Nose, my Eyes placed
directly in the Front, so that I could not look on either Side without turning
my Head: That I was not able to feed myself, without lifting one of my
Fore-Feet to my Mouth: And therefore Nature had placed those Joints to
Answer that Necessity. He knew not what could be the Use of those several
Clefts and Divisions in my Feet behind, that these were too soft to bear the
Hardness and Sharpness of Stones without a Covering made from the Skin
of some other Brute; that my whole Body wanted a Fence against Heat
Cold, which I was forced to put on and off every Day with Tediousness and
Trouble. And lastly, that he observed every Animal in this Country
naturally to abhor the Yahoos, whom the Weaker avoided, and the
Stronger drove from them. So that supposing us to have the Gift of Reason,
he could not see how it were possible to cure that natural Antipathy which
every Creature discovered against us; nor consequently, how we could
tame and render them serviceable. However, he would (as he said) debate
the Matter no farther, because he was more desirous to know my own
Story, the Country where I was born, and the several Actions and Events
of my Life before I came hither.
I assured him how extremely desirous I was that he should be satisfied in
every Point; but I doubted much, whether it would be possible for me to
explain myself on several Subjects whereof his Honour could have no
Conception, because I saw nothing in his Country to which I could
resemble them. That however, I would do my best, and strive to express
myself by Similitudes, humbly desiring his Assistance when I wanted
proper Words; which he was pleased to promise me.
I said, my Birth was of honest Parents in an Island called England, which
was remote from this Country, as many Days' Journey as the strongest of
his Honour's Servants could travel in the Annual Course of the Sun. That I
was bred a Surgeon, whose trade it is to cure Wounds and Hurts in the
Body, got by Accident or Violence; that my Country was governed by a
Female Man, whom we called a Queen. That I left it to get Riches, whereby
I might maintain myself and Family when I should return. That in my last
Voyage I was Commander of the Ship, and had about fifty Yahoos under
me, many of which died at Sea, and I was forced to supply them by others
picked out from several Nations. That our Ship was twice in Danger of
being sunk; the first time by a great Storm, and the second, by striking
against a Rock. Here my Master interposed, by asking me, how I could
persuade Strangers out of different Countries to venture with me, after the
Losses I had sustained, and the Hazards I had run. I said, they were Fellows
of desperate Fortunes forced to fly from the Places of their Birth, on
account of their Poverty or their Crimes. Some were undone by lawsuits;
others spent all they had in Drinking, Whoring, and Gaming; others fled
for Treason; many for Murder, Theft, Poysoning, Robbery, Perjury,
Forgery, Coining false Money, for committing Rapes or Sodomy, for
flying from their Colours, or deserting to the Enemy, and most of them
had broken Prison; none of these durst return to their Native Countries for
Fear of being hanged, or of starving in a Jail; and therefore were under a
Necessity of seeking a Livelihood in other Places.
During this Discourse, my Master was pleased to interrupt me several
Times; I had made use of many Circumlocutions in describing to him the
Nature of the several Crimes, for which most of our Crew had been forced
to fly their Country. This Labour took up several Days Conversation
before he was able to comprehend me. He was wholly at a Loss to know
what could be the Use or Necessity of practicing those Vices. To clear up
which I endeavoured to give some Ideas of the Desire of Power and Riches,
of the terrible Effects of Lust, Intemperance, Malice and Envy. All this I
was forced to define and describe by putting of Cases, and making of
Suppositions. After which, like one whose Imagination was struck with
something never seen or heard of before, he would lift up his Eyes with
Amazement and Indignation. Power, Government, War, Law, Punishment,
and a Thousand other Things had no Terms wherein that Language could
express them, which made the Difficulty almost insuperable to give my
Master any Conception of what I meant. But being of an excellent
Understanding, much improved by Contemplation and Converse, he at last
arrived at a competent Knowledge of what Human Nature in our Parts of
the World is capable to perform, and desired I would give him some
particular Account of that Land, which we call Europe, but especially of
my own Country.
CHAPTER V.
The Author at his Master's Commands informs him of the State of
England. The Causes of War among the Princes of Europe. The Author
begins to explain the English Constitiution.
THE READER may please to observe, that the following Extract of many
Conversations I had with my Master, contains a Summary of the most
material Points, which were discoursed at several times for above two
Years; his Honour often desiring fuller Satisfaction as I farther improved
in the Houyhnhnm Tongue. I laid before him, as well as I could, the whole
State of Europe; I Discoursed of Trade and Manufactures, of Arts and
Sciences; and the Answers I gave to all the Questions he made, as they
arose upon several Subjects, were a Fund of Conversation not to be
exhausted. But I shall here only set down the Substance of what passed
between us concerning my own Country, reducing it into Order as well as I
can, without any Regard to Time or other Circumstances, while I strictly
adhere to Truth. My only Concern is, that I shall hardly be able to do
Justice to my Master's Arguments and Expressions, which must needs
suffer by my want of Capacity, as well as by a Translation into our
barbarous English.
In Obedience therefore to his Honour's Commands, I related to him the
Revolution under the Prince of Orange; the long War with France entered
into by the said Prince, and renewed by his Successor the present Queen;
wherein the greatest Powers of Christendom were engaged, and which still
continued: I computed at his Request, that about a Million of Yahoos might
have been killed in the whole Progress of it, and perhaps a Hundred or
more Cities taken, and thrice as many Ships burnt or sunk.
He asked me what were the usual Causes or Motives that made one Country
go to War with another. I answered they were innumerable, but I should
only mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the Ambition of Princes, who
never think they have Land or People enough to govern: Sometimes the
Corruption of Ministers, who engage their Master in a War in order to
stifle or divert the Clamour of the Subjects against their Evil
Administration. Difference in Opinions hath cost many Millions of Lives:
For instance, whether Flesh be Bread, or Bread be Flesh; whether the Juice
of a certain Berry be Blood or Wine; whether Whistling be Vice or a
Virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post, or throw it into the Fire; what is
the best Colour for a Coat, whether Black, White, Red, or Gray; and
whether it should be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean; with
many more. Neither are any Wars so furious and Bloody, or of so long
Continuance, as those occasioned by Difference in Opinion, especially if it
be in Things indifferent.
Sometimes the Quarrel between two Princes is to which of them shall
dispossess a third of his Dominions, where neither of them pretend to any
Right. Sometimes one Prince quarreleth with another, for Fear the other
should quarrel with him. Sometimes a War is entered upon, because the
Enemy is too strong, and sometimes because he is too weak. Sometimes our
Neighbours want the Things which we have, or have the Things which we
want; and we both fight, till they take ours or give us theirs. It is a very
justifiable Cause of War to invade a Country after the People have been
wasted by Famine, destroyed by Pestilence, or embroiled by Factions
among themselves. It is justifiable to enter into War against our nearest
Ally, when one of his Towns lies convenient for us, or a Territory of
Land, that would render our Dominions round and compleat. If a Prince
sends Forces into a Nation where the People are poor and ignorant, he may
lawfully put half of them to Death, and make Slaves of the rest, in order to
civilize and reduce them from their barbarous Way of Living. It is a very
kingly, honourable, and frequent Practice, when one Prince desires the
Assistance of another to secure him against an Invasion, that the Assistant,
when he hath driven out the Invader, should seize on the Dominions
himself, and kill, imprison or banish the Prince he came to relieve.
Alliance by Blood or Marriage, is a frequent Cause of War between
Princes; and the nearer the Kindred is, the greater is their Disposition to
quarrel: Poor Nations are hungry, and rich Nations are proud; and Pride
and Hunger will ever be at variance. For those Reasons, the Trade of a
Soldier is held the most honourable of all others: Because a Soldier is a
Yahoo hired to kill in cold Blood as many of his own Species, who have
never offended him, as possibly he can.
There is likewise a Kind of beggarly Princes in Europe, not able to make
War by themselves, who hire out their Troops to richer Nations, for so
much a Day to each Man; of which they keep three fourths to themselves,
and it is the best Part of their Maintenance; such are those in many
Northern Parts of Europe.
What you have told me, (said my Master) upon the Subject of War, does
indeed discover most admirably the Effects of that Reason you pretend to:
However, it is happy that the Shame is greater than the Danger; and that
Nature has left you utterly uncapable of doing much Mischief.
For your Mouths lying flat with your Faces, you can hardly bite each other
to any Purpose, unless by Consent. Then as to the Claws upon your Feet
before and behind, they are so short and tender that one of our Yahoos
would drive a Dozen of yours before him. And therefore in recounting the
Numbers of those who have been killed in Battle, I cannot but think that
you have said the Thing which is not.
I could not forbear shaking my Head and smiling a little at his Ignorance.
And being no Stranger to the Art of War, I gave him a Description of
Cannons, culverins, Muskets, Carabines, Pistols, Bullets, Powder, Swords,
Bayonets, Battles, Sieges, Retreats, Attacks, Undermines, Countermines,
Bombardments, Sea-fights; Ships sunk with a Thousand Men, Twenty
thousand killed on each Side; dying Groans, Limbs flying in the Air,
Smoak, Noise, Confusion, trampling to Death under Horses Feet; Flight,
Pursuit, Victory; Fields strewed with Carcases left for Food to Dogs, and
Wolves, and Birds of Prey; Plundering, Stripping, Ravishing, Burning, and
Destroying. And to set forth the Valor of my own dear Countrymen, I
assured him, that I had seen them blow up a Hundred Enemies at once in a
Siege, and as many in a Ship, and beheld the dead Bodies come down in
pieces from the Clouds, to the great Diversion of the Spectators.
I was going on to more Particulars, when my Master commanded me
Silence. He said, Whoever understood the Nature of Yahoos might easily
believe it possible for so vile an Animal to be capable of every Action I had
named, if their Strength and Cunning equalled their Malice. But as my
Discourse had increased his Abhorrence of the whole Species, so he found
it gave him a Disturbance in his Mind, to which he was wholly a Stranger
before. He thought his Ears being used to such abominable Words, might
by Degrees admit them with less Detestation. That although he hated the
Yahoos of this Country, yet he no more blamed them for their odious
Qualities, than he did a Gnnayh (a Bird of Prey) for its Cruelty, or a sharp
Stone for cutting his Hoof. But when a Creature pretending to Reason,
could be capable of such Enormities, he dreaded lest the Corruption of that
Faculty might be worse than Brutality itself. He seemed therefore
confident, that instead of Reason, we were only possessed of some Quality
fitted to increase our natural Vices; as the Reflection from a troubled
Stream returns the Image of an ill-shapen Body, not only larger, but more
distorted.
He added, That he had heard too much upon the Subject of War, both in
this, and some former Discourses. There was another Point which a little
perplexed him at Present. I had informed him, that some of our Crew left
their Country on account of being ruined by Law; that I had already
explained the Meaning of the Word; but he was at a Loss how it should
come to pass, that the Law which was intended for every Man's
Preservation, should be any Man's Ruin. Therefore he desired to be further
satisfied what I meant by Law, and what sort of Dispensers thereof it could
be by whose Practices the Property of any Person could be lost, instead of
being preserved. He added, he saw not what great Occasion there could for
this thing called Law, since all the Intentions and Purposes of it may be
fully answered by following the Dictates of Nature and Reason, which are
sufficient Guides for a Reasonable Animal, as we pretended to be, in
shewing us what we ought to do, and what to avoid.
I assured his Honour, that Law was a Science wherein I had not much
conversed, further than by employing Advocates, in vain, upon some
Injustices that had been done me: however, I would give him all the
Satisfaction I was able.
I said there was a Society of Men among us, bred up from their Youth in
the Art of proving by Words multiplied for the Pleasure, that White is
Black, and Black is White, according as they are paid. To this Society all
the rest of the People are Slaves.
For Example, if my Neighbour hath a Mind to my Cow, he hires a Lawyer
to prove that he ought to have my Cow from me. I must then hire another
to defend my Right, it being against all Rules of Law that any Man should
be allowed to speak for himself. Now in this Case, I who am the right
Owner lie under two great Disadvantages. First, my Lawyer being
practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falshood; is quite out of his
Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which as an Office
unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness if not with Ill-will.
The second Disadvantage is, that my Lawyer must proceed with great
Caution: Or else he will be reprimanded by the Judges, and abhorred by his
Brethren, as one that would lessen the Practice of the Law. And therefore I
have but two Methods to preserve my Cow. The first is, to gain over my
Adversary's Lawyer with a double Fee; who will then betray his Client by
insinuating that he hath Justice on his Side. The second way is for my
Lawyer to make my Cause appear as unjust as he can; by the Cow to belong
to my Adversary; and this, if it be skilfully done, will certainly bespeak the
Favour of the Bench.
Now, your Honour is to know that these Judges are Persons appointed to
decide all Controversies of Property, as well as for the Tryal of Criminals;
and picked out from the most dextrous Lawyers who are grown old or
lazy: And having been byassed all their Lives against Truth and Equity, are
under such a fatal Necessity of favouring Fraud, Perjury, and Oppression;
that I have known some of them refuse a large Bribe from the Side where
Justice lay, rather than injure the Faculty, by doing any thing unbecoming
their Nature or their Office.
It is a Maxim among these Lawyers, that whatever hath been done before,
may legally be done again: And therefore they take special Care to record
all the Decisions formerly made against common Justice and the general
Reason of Mankind. These, under the Name of Precedents, they produce as
Authorities to justify the most iniquitous Opinions; and the Judges never
fail of decreeing accordingly.
In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the Merits of the Cause; but
are loud, violent, and tedious in dwelling upon all Circumstances which are
not to the Purpose. For Instance, in the Case already mentioned: They
never desire to know what Claim or Title my Adversary hath to my Cow;
but whether the said Cow were Red or Black; her Horns long or short;
whether the Field I graze her in be round or square; whether she was
milked at home or abroad; what Diseases she is subject to, and the like.
After which they consult Precedents, adjourn the Cause from Time to
Time, and in Ten, Twenty, or Thirty Years, come to an Issue.
It is likewise to be observed, that this Society has a peculiar Cant and
Jargon of their own, that no other Mortal can understand, and wherein all
their Laws are written, which they take special Care to multiply; whereby
they have gone near to confound the very Essence of Truth and Falsehood,
of Right and Wrong; so that it may take Thirty Years to decide whether the
Field, left me by my Ancestors for Six Generations, belongs to me, or to a
Stranger three hundred Miles off.
In the Tryal of Persons accused for Crimes against the State the Method is
much more short and commendable: The Judge first sends to sound the
Disposition of those in Power; after which he can easily hang or save the
Criminal, strictly preserving all due Forms of Law.
Here my Master interposing, said it was a Pity that Creatures endowed with
such prodigious Abilities of Mind as these Lawyers, by the Description I
gave of them, must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be
Instructors of others in Wisdom and Knowledge. In Answer to which, I
assured his Honour, that in all Points out of their own Trade, they were
usually the most Ignorant and stupid Generation among us, the most
despicable in common Conversation, avowed Enemies to all Knowledge
and Learning; and equally to pervert the general Reason of Mankind in
every other Subject of Discourse, as in that of their own Profession.
CHAPTER VI.
A Continuation of the State of England. The Character of a first Minister.
MY MASTER was yet wholly at a Loss to understand what Motives could
incite this Race of Lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves, and
engage in a Confederacy of Injustice, merely for the Sake of injuring their
Fellow-Animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying they
did it for Hire. Whereupon I was at much Pains to describe to him the Use
of Money, the Materials it was made of, and the Value of the Metals, that
when a Yahoo had got a great Store of this precious Substance, he was able
to purchase whatever he had a Mind to; the finest Cloathing, the noblest
Houses, great Tracts of Land, the most costly Meats and Drinks, and have
his choice of the most beautiful Females. Therefore since Money alone, was
able to perform all these Feats, our Yahoos thought, they could never have
enough of it to spend or save, as they found themselves inclined from their
natural Bent either to Profusion or Avarice. That the Rich Man enjoyed the
Fruit of the Poor Man's Labour, and the Latter were a thousand to one in
Proportion to the Former. That the Bulk of our People were forced to live
miserably, by labouring every Day for small Wages to make a few live
plentifully. I enlarged myself much on these and many other Particulars to
the same Purpose: But his Honour was still to seek: For he went upon a
Supposition that all Animals had a Title to their share in the Productions of
the Earth, and especially those who presided over the rest. Therefore he
desired I would let him know, what these costly Meats were, and how any
of us happened to want them. Whereupon I enumerated as many sorts as
came into my Head, with the various Methods of dressing them, which
could not be done without sending Vessels by Sea to every Part of the
World, as well for Liquors to Drink, as for Sauces, and innumerable other
Conveniences. I assured him, that this whole Globe of Earth must be at
least three times gone round, before one of our better Female Yahoos
could get her Breakfast or a Cup to put it in. He said, That must needs be a
miserable Country which cannot furnish Food for its own Inhabitants. But
what he chiefly wondered at was how such vast Tracts of Grounds as I
described should be wholly without Fresh-water, and the People put to the
Necessity of sending over the Sea for Drink. I replied, that England (the
dear Place of my Nativity) was computed to produce three times the
Quantity of Food, more than its Inhabitants are able to consume, as well as
Liquors extracted from Grain, or pressed out of the Fruit of certain Trees,
which made excellent Drink, and the same Proportion in every other
Convenience of Life. But in order to feed the Luxury and Intemperance of
the Males, and the Vanity of the Females, we sent away the greatest Part of
our necessary Things to other Countries, from whence in return we
brought the Materials of Diseases, Folly, and Vice, to spend among
ourselves. Hence it follows of Necessity, that vast Numbers of our People
are compelled to seek their Livelihood by Begging, Robbing, Stealing,
Cheating, Pimping, Forswearing, Flattering, Suborning, Forging, Gaming,
Lying, Fawning, Hectoring, Voting, Scribbling, Stargazing, Poysoning,
Whoring, Canting, Libelling, Free-thinking, and the like Occupations:
Every one of which Terms, I was at much Pains to make him understand.
That Wine was not imported among us from foreign Countries, to supply
the want of Water or other Drinks, but because it was a sort of Liquid
which made us merry, by putting us out of our Senses; diverted all
melancholy Thoughts, begat wild extravagant Imaginations in the Brain,
raised our Hopes, and banished our Fears, suspended every Office of
Reason for a time, and deprived us of the use of our Limbs, till we fell into
a profound Sleep; although it must be confessed, that we always awoke sick
and dispirited, and that the use of this Liquor filled us with Diseases, which
made our Lives uncomfortable and short.
But beside all this, the Bulk of our People supported themselves by
furnishing the Necessities and Conveniences of Life to the Rich, and to each
other. For Instance, when I am at home and dressed as I ought to be, I
carry on my Body the Workmanship of an Hundred Tradesmen; the
Building and Furniture of my House employ as many more, and five times
the Number to adorn my Wife.
I was going on to tell him of another sort of People, who get their
Livelihood by attending the Sick, having upon some Occasions informed
his Honour that many of my Crew had died of Diseases. But here it was
with the utmost Difficulty, that I brought him to apprehend what I meant.
He could easily conceive, that a Houyhnhnm grew weak and heavy a few
Days before his Death, or by some Accident might hurt a Limb. But that
Nature, who works all Things to Perfection, should suffer any Pains to
breed in our Bodies, he thought impossible, and desired to know the
Reason of so unaccountable an Evil. I told him, we fed on a thousand
Things which operated contrary to each other; that we ate when we were
not hungry, and drank without the Provocation of Thirst; That we sate
whole Nights drinking strong Liquors without eating a Bit, which disposed
us to Sloth, inflamed our Bodies, and precipitated or prevented Digestion.
That prostitute Female Yahoos acquired a certain Malady, which bred
Rottenness in the Bones of those, who fell into their Embraces; That this
and many other Diseases, were propagated from Father to Son, so that
great Numbers come into the World with complicated Maladies upon them;
that it would be endless to give him a Catalogue of all Diseases incident to
human Bodies; for they could not be fewer than five or six hundred, spread
over every Limb and Joynt; in short, every Part, external and intestine,
having Diseases appropriated to them. To remedy which, there was a sort
of People bred up among us, in the Profession or Pretense of curing the
Sick. And because I had some Skill in the Faculty, I would in Gratitude to
his Honour, let him know the whole Mystery and Method by which they
proceed.
Their Fundamental is, That all Diseases arise from Repletion, from which
they conclude, that a great Evacuation of the Body is necessary, either
through the natural Passage, or upwards at the Mouth. Their next Business
is, from Herbs, Minerals, Gums, Oils, Shells, Salts, Juices, Seaweed,
Excrements, Barks of Trees, Serpents, Toads, Frogs, Spiders, dead Men's
Flesh and Bones, Birds, Beasts and Fishes, to form a Composition for
Smell and Taste the most abominable, nauseous and detestable, they can
possibly contrive, which the Stomach immediately rejects with loathing;
and this they call a Vomit; or else from the same Storehouse, with some
other Poysonous Additions, they command us to take in at the Orifice
above or below, (just as the Physician then happens to be disposed) a
Medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the Bowels; which relaxing the
Belly, drives down all before it, and this they call a Purge or a Glyster.
For Nature (as the Physicians alledge) having intended the superior
anterior Orifice only for the intromission of Solids and Liquids, and the
inferior for Ejection, these Artists ingeniously considering that in all
Diseases Nature is forced out of her Seat; therefore to replace her in it, the
Body must be treated in a Manner directly contrary, by interchanging the
Use of each Orifice, forcing Solids and Liquids in at the Anus, and making
Evacuations at the Mouth.
But, besides real Diseases, we are subject to many that are only imaginary,
for which the Physicians have invented imaginary Cures; these have their
several Names, and so have the Drugs that are proper for them, and with
these our Female Yahoos are always infested.
One great Excellency in this Tribe is their Skill at Prognostics, wherein
they seldom fail; their Predictions in real Diseases, when they rise to any
Degree of Malignity, generally portending Death, which is always in their
Power when Recovery is not: And therefore, upon any unexpected Signs of
Amendment, after they have pronounced their Sentence, rather than be
accused as false Prophets, they know how to approve their Sagacity to the
World by a seasonable Dose.
They are likewise of special Use to Husbands and Wives, who are grown
weary of their Mates, to eldest Sons, to great Ministers of State, and often
to Princes.
I had formerly upon Occasion discoursed with my Master upon the Nature
of Government in general, and particularly of our own excellent
Constitution, deservedly the Wonder and Envy of the whole World. But
having here Accidentally mentioned a Minister of State; he commanded me
some time after to inform him, what Species of Yahoo I particularly meant
by that Application.
I told him, that a First or Chief Minister of State, whom I intended to
describe, was a Creature wholly exempt from Joy and Grief, Love and
Hatred, Pity and Anger; at least made use of no other Passions but a violent
Desire of Wealth, Power, and Titles: That he applies his Words to all Uses,
except to the Indication of his Mind; That he never tells a Truth, but with
an Intent that you should take it for a Lye; nor a Lye, but with a Design
that you should take it for a Truth; That those he speaks worst of behind
their Backs, are in the surest way of Preferment; and whenever he begins
to praise you to others or to your self, you are from that Day forlorn. The
worst Mark you can receive is a Promise, especially when it is confirmed
with an Oath; after which every wise Man retires, and gives over all Hopes.
There are three Methods by which a Man may rise to be Chief Minister:
The first is by knowing how with Prudence to dispose of a Wife, a
Daughter, or a Sister: The second, by betraying or undermining his
Predecessor: And the third is, by a furious Zeal in publick Assemblies
against the Corruptions of the Court. But a wise Prince would rather chuse
to employ those who practice the last of these Methods; because such
Zealots prove always the most obsequious and subservient to the Will and
Passions of their Master. That, these Ministers having all Employments at
their Disposal, preserve themselves in Power by bribing the Majority of a
Senate or great Council; and at last by an Expedient called an Act of
Indemnity (whereof I described the Nature to him) they secure themselves
from After-reckonings, and retire from the Publick, laden with the Spoils
of the Nation.
The Palace of a Chief Minister, is a Seminary to breed up others in his own
Trade: The Pages, Lacquies, and Porter, by imitating their Master, become
Ministers of State in their several Districts, and learn to excel in the three
principal Ingredients, of Insolence, Lying, and Bribery. Accordingly, they
have a Subaltern Court paid to them by Persons of the best Rank; and
sometimes by the Force of Dexterity and Impudence, arrive through
several Gradations to be Successors to their Lord.
He is usually governed by a decayed Wench or favourite Footman, who are
the Tunnels through which all Graces are conveyed, and may properly be
called, in the last Resort, the Governors of the Kingdom.
One Day in Discourse my Master, having heard me mention the Nobility of
my Country, was pleased to make me a Compliment which I could not
pretend to deserve: That he was sure, I must have been born of some Noble
Family, because I far exceeded in Shape, Colour, and Cleanliness, all the
Yahoos of his Nation, although I seemed to fail in Strength and Agility,
which must be imputed to my different Way of Living from those other
Brutes; and besides, I was not only endowed with the Faculty of Speech,
but likewise with some Rudiments of Reason, to a Degree that with all his
Acquaintance I passed for a Prodigy.
He made me observe, that among the Houyhnhnms, the White, the Sorrel,
and the Iron-grey were not so exactly shaped as the Bay, the Dapple-grey,
and the Black; nor born with equal Talents of the Mind, or a Capacity to
improve them; and therefore continued always in the Condition of
Servants, without ever aspiring to match out of their own Race, which in
that Country would be reckoned monstrous and unnatural.
I made his Honour my most humble Acknowledgments for the good
Opinion he was pleased to conceive of me; but assured him at the same
time, that my Birth was of the lower Sort, having been born of plain honest
Parents, who were just able to give me a tolerable Education: That Nobility
among us was altogether a different Thing from the Idea he had of it; That
our young Noblemen are bred from their Childhood in Idleness and
Luxury; that as soon as Years will permit, they consume their Vigour, and
contract odious Diseases among lewd Females; and when their Fortunes are
almost ruined, they marry some woman of mean Birth, disagreeable
Person, and unsound Constitution, merely for the Sake of Money, whom
they hate and despise. That the Productions of such Marriages are generally
scrophulous, ricketty, or deformed Children; by which Means the Family
seldom continues above Three Generations, unless the Wife takes Care to
provide a healthy Father among her Neighbours, or Domesticks, in order
to improve and continue the Breed. That a weak diseased Body, a meager
Countenance, and sallow Complexion, are no uncommon Marks of a Great
Man; and a healthy robust Appearance is so far disgraceful in a Man of
Quality, that the World is apt to conclude his real Father to have been one
of the Inferiors of the Family, especially when it is seen that the
Imperfections of his Mind run parallel with those of his Body; and are little
else than a Composition of Spleen, Dullness, Ignorance, Caprice,
Sensuality, and Pride.
CHAPTER VII.
The Author's great Love of his Native Country. His Master's Observations
upon the Constitution and Administration of England, as described by the
Author, with parallel Cases and Comparisons. His Master's Observations
upon human Nature.
THE READER may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself
to give so free a Representation of my own Species, among a Race of
Mortals who were already too apt to conceive the vilest Opinion of human
Kind from that entire Congruity betwixt me and their Yahoos. But I must
freely confess, that the many Virtues of those excellent Quadrupeds placed
in opposite View to human Corruptions, had so far opened my Eyes and
enlightened my Understanding, that I began to view the Actions and
Passions of Man in a very different Light, and to think the Honour of my
own Kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was impossible for me to
do before a Person of so acute a Judgment as my Master, who daily
convinced me of a thousand Faults in myself, whereof I had not the least
Perception before, and which among us would never be numbered even
among human Infirmities, I had likewise learned from his Example an
utter Detestation of all Falsehood or Disguise; and Truth appeared so
amiable to me, that I determined upon sacrificing every thing to it.
Let me deal so candidly with the Reader, as to confess, that there was yet a
much stronger Motive for the Freedom I took in my Representation of
Things. I had not been a Year in this Country, before I contracted such a
Love and Veneration for the Inhabitants, that I entered on a firm
Resolution, never to return to human Kind, but to pass the rest of my Life
among these admirableHouyhnhnmsin the Contemplation and Practice of
every Virtue; where I could have no Example or Incitement to Vice. But it
was decreed by Fortune, my perpetual Enemy, that so great a Felicity
should not fall to my Share. However, it is now some Comfort to reflect,
that in what I said of my Countrymen, I extenuated their Faults as much as
I durst before so strict an Examiner, and upon every Article, gave as
favourable a Turn as the Matter would bear. For, indeed, who is there
alive that will not be swayed by his Byass and Partiality to the Place of his
Birth?
I have related the Substance of several Conversations I had with my
Master, during the greatest part of the Time I had the Honour to be in his
Service, but have indeed for Brevity sake omitted much more than is here
set down.
When I had answered all his Questions, and his Curiosity seemed to be
fully satisfied; he sent for me one Morning early, and commanded me to sit
down at some Distance, (an Honour which he had never before conferred
upon me) he said, He had been very seriously considering my whole Story,
as far as it related both to myself and my Country: That he looked upon us
as sort of Animals to whose Share, by what Accident he could not
conjecture, some small Pittance of Reason had fallen, whereof we made no
other Use than by its Assistance to aggravate our natural Corruptions, and
to acquire new ones which Nature had not given us: That we disarmed
ourselves of the few Abilities she had bestowed, had been very successful in
multiplying our original Wants, and seemed to spend our whole Lives in
vain Endeavours to supply them by our own Inventions. That as to myself,
it was manifest I had neither the Strength or Agility of a common Yahoo,
that I walked infirmly on my hinder Feet, had found out a Contrivance to
make my Claws of no Use or Defence, and to remove the Hair from my
Chin, which was intended as a shelter from the Sun and the Weather.
Lastly, That I could neither run with Speed, nor climb Trees like my
Brethren (as he called them) the Yahoos in this Country.
That our Institutions of Government and Law were plainly owing to our
gross Defects in Reason, and by Consequence, in Vertue; because Reason
alone is sufficient to govern a Rational Creature; which was therefore a
Character we had no Pretense to challenge, even from the Account I had
given of my own People, although he manifestly perceived, that in order to
favour them, I had concealed many Particulars, and often said the Thing
which was not.
He was the more confirmed in this Opinion, because he observed, that as I
agreed in every Feature of my Body with other Yahoos, except where it
was to my real Disadvantage in point of Strength, Speed and Activity, the
shortness of my Claws, and some other Particulars where Nature had no
Part; so from the Representation I had given him of our Lives, our
Manners, and our Actions, he found as near a Resemblance in the
Disposition of our Minds. He said the Yahoos were known to hate one
another more than they did any different Species of Animals; and the
Reason usually assigned, was the Odiousness of their own Shapes, which all
could see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore begun to think
it not unwise in us to cover our Bodies, and by that Invention, conceal
many of our own Deformities from each other, which would else be hardly
supportable. But, he now found he had been mistaken, and that the
Dissensions of those Brutes in his Country were owing to the same Cause
with ours, as I had described them. For, if (said he) you throw among Five
Yahoos as much Food as would be sufficient for Fifty, they will, instead of
eating peaceably, fall together by the Ears, each single one impatient to
have all to itself; and therefore a Servant was usually employed to stand by
while they were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a
Distance from each other: that if a Cow died of Age or Accident, before a
Houyhnhnm could secure it for his own Yahoos, those in the
Neighbourhood would come in Herds to seize it, and then would ensue such
a Battle as I had described, with terrible Wounds made by their Claws on
both Sides, although they seldom were able to kill one another, for want of
such convenient Instruments of Death as we had invented. At other times
the like Battles have been fought between the Yahoos of several
Neighbourhoods without any visible Cause: Those of one District watching
all Opportunities to surprize the next before they are prepared. But if they
find their Project hath miscarried, they return home, and for want of
Enemies, engage in what I call a Civil War among themselves.
That in some Fields of his Country there are certain shining Stones of
several Colours, whereof the Yahoos are violently fond, and when part of
these Stones is fixed in the Earth, as it sometimes happeneth, they will dig
with their Claws for whole Days to get them out, then carry them away,
and hide them by Heaps in their Kennels; but still looking round with great
Caution, for Fear their Comrades should find out their Treasure. My
Master said, he could never discover the Reason of this unnatural Appetite,
or how these Stones could be of any Use to a Yahoo; but now he believed it
might proceed from the same Principle of Avarice which I had ascribed to
Mankind: that he had once, by way of Experiment, privately removed a
Heap of these Stones from the Place where one of his Yahoos had buried it:
Whereupon, the sordid Animal missing his Treasure, by his loud lamenting
brought the whole Herd to the Place, there miserably howled, then fell to
biting and tearing the rest, began to pine away, would neither eat, nor
sleep, nor work, till he ordered a Servant privately to convey the Stones
into the same Hole, and hide them as before; which when his Yahoo had
found, he presently recovered his Spirits and good Humour, but took good
Care to remove them to a better hiding-place, and hath ever since been a
very serviceable Brute.
My Master farther assured me, which I also observed myself, that in the
Fields where the shining Stones abound, the fiercest and most frequent
Battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the neighbouring
Yahoos.
He said, it was common when two Yahoos discovered such a Stone in a
Field, and were contending which of them should be the Proprietor, a third
would take the Advantage, and carry it away from them both; which my
Master would needs contend to have some kind of Resemblance with our
Suits at Law; wherein I thought it for our Credit not to undeceive him;
since the Decision he mentioned was much more equitable than many
Decrees among us: Because the Plaintiff and Defendant there lost nothing
beside the Stone they contended for, whereas our Courts of Equity, would
never have dismissed the Cause while either of them had any thing left.
My Master, continuing his Discourse, said, There was nothing that
rendered the Yahoos more odious, than their undistinguishing Appetite to
devour every Thing that came in their way, whether Herbs, Roots, Berries,
the corrupted Flesh of Animals, or all mingled together: And it was
peculiar in their Temper, that they were fonder of what they could get by
Rapine or Stealth at a greater Distance, than much better Food provided
for them at home. If their Prey held out, they would eat till they were
ready to burst, after which Nature had pointed out to them a certain Root
that gave them a general Evacuation.
There was also another kind of Root very juicy, but somewhat rare and
difficult to be found, which the Yahoos sought for with much Eagerness,
and would suck it with great Delight; and it produced in them the same
Effects that Wine hath upon us. It would make them sometimes hug,
sometimes tear one another, they would howl and grin, and chatter, and
tumble, and then fall asleep in the Dirt.
I did indeed observe, that the Yahoos were the only Animals in this
Country subject to any Diseases; which however, were much fewer than
Horses have among us, and contracted not by any ill Treatment they meet
with, but by the Nastiness, and Greediness of that sordid Brute. Neither has
their Language any more than a general Appellation for those Maladies,
which is borrowed from the Name of the Beast, and called Hnea-Yahoo, or
the Yahoo's Evil, and the Cure prescribed is a mixture of their own Dung
and Urine forcibly put down the Yahoo's Throat. This I have since often
taken myself, and do freely recommend it to my Countrymen, for the
publick Good, as an admirable Specifick against all Diseases produced by
Repletion.
As to Learning, Government, Arts, Manufactures, and the like, my Master
confessed he could find little or no Resemblance between the Yahoos of
that Country and those in ours. For, he only meant to observe what Parity
there was in our Natures. He had heard indeed some curious Houyhnhnms
observe, that in most Herds there was a sort of ruling Yahoo (as among us
there is generally some leading or principal Stag in a park), who was
always more deformed in Body and mischievous in Disposition, than any of
the rest. That this Leader had usually a Favourite as like himself as he
could get, whose Employment was to lick his Master's Feet and Posteriors,
and drive the Female Yahoos to his Kennel; for which he was now and then
rewarded with a piece of Ass's Flesh. This Favourite is hated by the whole
Herd, and therefore to protect himself, keeps always near the Person of his
Leader. He usually continues in Office till worse can be found; but the very
Moment he is discarded, his Successor at the Head of all the Yahoos in that
District, Young and Old, Male and Female, come in a Body, and discharge
their Excrements upon him from Head to Foot. But how far this might be
applicable to our Courts and Favourites, and Ministers of State, my Master
said I could best determine.
I dared make no Return to this malicious Insinuation, which debased human
Understanding below the Sagacity of a common Hound, who has Judgment
enough to distinguish and follow the Cry of the ablest Dog in the Pack,
without being ever mistaken.
My Master told me, there were some Qualities remarkable in the Yahoos,
which he had not observed me to mention, or at least very slightly, in the
Accounts I had given him of human kind; he said, Those Animals, like
other Brutes, had their Females in common; but in this they differed, that
the She-Yahoo would admit the Male, while she was pregnant; and that the
Hees would quarrel and fight with Females as fiercely as with each other.
Both which Practices were such Degrees of Brutality, that no other
sensitive Creature ever arrived at.
Another thing he wondered at in the Yahoos, was their strange Disposition
to Nastiness and Dirt, whereas there appears to be a natural Love of
Cleanliness in all other Animals. As to the two former Accusations, I was
glad to let them pass without any Reply, because I had not a Word to offer
upon it in Defence of my Species, which otherwise I certainly had done
from my own Inclinations. But I could have easily vindicated Human Kind
from the Imputation of Singularity upon Article, if there had been any
Swine in that Country (as unluckily for me there were not) which although
it may be a sweeter Quadruped than a Yahoo, cannot I humbly conceive in
Justice pretend to more Cleanliness; and so his Honour himself must have
owned, if he had seen their filthy way of feeding, and their Custom of
wallowing and sleeping in the Mud.
My Master likewise mentioned another Quality which his Servants had
discovered in several Yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. He
said, a Fancy would sometimes take a Yahoo, to retire into a Corner, to lie
down and howl, and groan, and spurn away all that came near him,
although he were young and fat, wanted neither Food nor Water; nor could
the Servants imagine what could possibly ail him. And the only Remedy
they found was to set him to hard Work, after which he would infallibly
come to himself. To this I was silent out of Partiality to my own Kind; yet
here I could plainly discover the true seeds of Spleen, which only seize on
the Lazy, the Luxurious, and the Rich; who, if they were forced to undergo
the same Regimen, I would undertake for the Cure.
His Honour had further observed, that a Female-Yahoo would often stand
behind a Bank or a Bush, to gaze on the young Males passing by, and then
appear, and hide, using many antick Gestures and Grimaces, at which time
it was observed, that she had a most offensive Smell; and when any of the
Males advanced, would slowly retire, looking often back, and with a
counterfeit shew of Fear; run off into some convenient Place where she
knew the Male would follow her.
At other times if a Female Stranger came among them, Three or Four of
her own Sex would get about her, and stare and chatter, and grin, and
smell her all over; and then turn off with Gestures that seemed to express
Contempt and Disdain.
Perhaps my Master might refine a little in these Speculations, which he had
drawn from what he observed himself, or had been told him by others:
However, I could not reflect without some Amazement, and much Sorrow,
that the Rudiments of Lewdness, Coquetry, Censure, and Scandal, should
have place by Instinct in Womankind.
I expected every Moment that my Master would accuse the Yahoos of those
unnatural Appetites in both Sexes, so common among us. But Nature, it
seems, has not been so Expert a School-mistress; and these politer Pleasures
are entirely the Productions of Art and Reason, on our Side of the Globe.
CHAPTER VIII.
The Author relates several Particulars of the Yahoos. The great Virtues of
the Houyhnhnms. The Education and Exercise of their Youth. Their
general Assembly.
AS I OUGHT to have understood Human Nature much better than I
supposed it possible for my Master to do, so it was easy to apply the
Character he gave of the Yahoos to myself and my Countrymen, and I
believed I could yet make farther Discoveries from my own Observation. I
therefore often begged his Favour to let me go among the Herds of Yahoos
in the Neighbourhood, to which he always very graciously consented, being
perfectly convinced that the Hatred I bore those Brutes, would never suffer
me to be corrupted by them; and his Honour ordered one of his Servants, a
strong Sorrel Nag, very honest and good-Natured, to be my Guard,
without whose Protection I durst not undertake such Adventures. For I
have already told the Reader how much I was pestered by those odious
Animals upon my first Arrival. And I afterwards failed three or four times
of very narrowly of falling into their Clutches, when I happened to stray at
any Distance without my Hanger. And I have Reason to believe they had
some Imagination that I was of their own Species, which I often assisted
myself, by stripping up my sleeves, and shewing my naked Arms, and
Breast in their sight, when my Protector was with me. At which times they
would approach as near as they durst, and imitate my Actions, after the
manner of Monkeys, but ever with great Signs of Hatred; as a tame Jack-
Daw with Cap and Stockings, is always persecuted by the wild ones, when
he happens to get among them.
They are prodigiously nimble from their Infancy; however, I once caught a
young Male of three Years old, and endeavoured by all Marks of
Tenderness to make it quiet; but the little Imp fell a squalling, and
scratching, and biting with such Violence, that I was forced to let it go; and
it was high time, for a whole Troop of old ones came about us at the Noise,
but finding the Cub was safe, (for away it ran) and my Sorrel Nag being
by, they durst not venture near us. I observed the young Animal's Flesh to
smell very rank, and the stink was somewhat between a Weasel and a Fox,
but much more disagreeable. I forgot another Circumstance (and perhaps I
might have the Reader's pardon if it were wholly omitted), that while I
held the odious Vermin in my Hands, it voided its filthy Excrements of a
Yellow liquid Substance, all over my Cloaths; but by good Fortune there
was a small Brook hard by, where I washed myself as clean as I could,
although I durst not come into my Master's Presence, until I were
sufficiently aired.
By what I could discover, the Yahoos appear to be the most unteachable of
all Animals, their Capacities never reaching higher than to draw or carry
Burthens. Yet I am of Opinion this Defect ariseth chiefly from a perverse,
restive Disposition. For they are cunning, malicious, treacherous and
revengeful. They are strong and hardy, but of a cowardly Spirit, and by
consequence, insolent, abject, and cruel. It is observed that the Red-haired
of both Sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet
they much exceed in Strength and Activity.
TheHouyhnhnms keep the Yahoos for present use in Huts not far from the
House; but the rest are sent abroad to certain Fields, where they dig up
Roots, eat several kinds of Herbs, and scratch about for Carrion, or
sometimes catch Weasels and Luhimuhs (a sort of wild Rat) which they
greedily devour. Nature hath taught them to dig deep Holes with their Nails
on the Side of a rising Ground, wherein they lie by themselves, only the
Kennels of the Females are larger, sufficient to hold two or three Cubs.
They swim from their Infancy like Frogs, and are able to continue long
under Water, where they often take Fish, which the Females carry home to
their Young. And upon this Occasion, I hope the Reader will pardon my
relating an odd Adventure.
Being one Day abroad with my Protector, the Sorrel Nag, and the Weather
exceeding hot, I entreated him to let me bathe in a River that was near. He
consented, and I immediately stripped myself stark naked, and went down
softly into the Stream. It happened that a young Female Yahoo standing
behind a Bank, saw the whole Proceeding, and enflamed by Desire, as the
Nag and I conjectured, came running with all Speed, and leaped into the
Water, within five Yards of the Place where I bathed. I was never in my
Life so terribly frighted; the Nag was grazing at some Distance, not
suspecting any Harm. She embraced me after a most fulsome Manner; I
roared as loud as I could, and the Nag came galloping towards me,
whereupon she quitted her Grasp, with the utmost Reluctancy, and leaped
upon the opposite Bank, where she stood gazing and howling all the time I
was putting on my Cloaths.
This was matter of Diversion to my Master and his Family, as well as of
Mortification to myself. For now I could no longer deny, that I was a real
Yahoo, in every Limb and Feature, since the Females had a natural
Prophensity to me as one of their own Species. Neither was the Hair of this
Brute of a Red Colour (which might have been some Excuse for an
Appetite a little irregular), but Black as a Sloe, and her Countenance did
not make an Appearance altogether so hideous as the rest of the Kind; for,
I think, she could not be above eleven Years old.
Having already lived three Years in this Country, the Reader I suppose will
expect that I should, like other Travellers, give him some Account of the
Manners and customs of its Inhabitants, which it was indeed my principal
Study to learn.
As these Noble Houyhnhnms are endowed by Nature with a general
Disposition to all Virtues, and have no Conceptions or Ideas of what is Evil
in a rational Creature, so their grand Maxim is, to cultivate Reason, and to
be wholly governed by it. Neither is Reason among them a Point
problematical as with us, where Men can argue with Plausibility on both
sides of the Question; but strikes you with immediate Conviction; as it must
needs do where it is not mingled, obscured, or discoloured by Passion and
Interest. I remember it was with extreme Difficulty that I could bring my
Master to understand the Meaning of the Word Opinion, or how a Point
could be disputable; because Reason taught us to affirm or deny only where
we are certain, and beyond our Knowledge we cannot do either. So that
Controversies, Wranglings, Disputes, and Positiveness in false or dubious
Propositions are Evils unknown among the Houyhnhnms. In the like
Manner when I used to explain to him our several Systems of Natural
Philosophy, he would laugh that a Creature pretending to Reason should
value itself upon the Knowledge of other Peoples Conjectures, and in
Things, where that Knowledge, if it were certain, could be of no Use.
Wherein he agreed entirely with the Sentiments of Socrates, as Plato
delivers them; which I mention as the highest Honour I can do that Prince
of Philosophers. I have often since reflected what Destruction such a
Doctrine would make in the Libraries of Europe, and how many Paths to
Fame would be then shut up in the Learned World.
Friendship and Benevolence are the two principal Virtues among the
Houyhnhnms, and these not confined to particular Objects, but universal to
the whole Race. For a Stranger from the remotest Part is equally treated
with the nearest Neighbour, and wherever he goes, looks upon himself as at
home. They preserve Decency and Civility in the highest Degrees, but are
altogether ignorant of Ceremony. They have no Fondness for their Colts or
Foles, but the Care they take in educating them proceeds entirely from the
Dictates of Reason. And I observed my Master to shew the same Affection
to his Neighbour's Issue that he had for his own. They will have it that
Nature teaches them to love the whole Species, and it is Reason only that
maketh a Distinction of Persons, where there is a superior Degree of
Virtue.
When the matronHouyhnhnms have produced one of each Sex, they no
longer accompany with their Consorts, except they lose one of their Issue
by some Casualty, which very seldom happens: But in such a Case they
meet again; or when the like Accident befalls a Person whose Wife is past
bearing, some other Couple bestow on him one of their own Colts, and
then go together again till the Mother is pregnant. This Caution is
necessary to prevent the Country from being overburthened with Numbers.
But the Race of inferiorHouyhnhnms bred up to be Servants is not so
strictly limited upon this Article; These are allowed to produce three of
each Sex, to be Domesticks in the Noble Families.
In their Marriages they are exactly careful to choose such Colours as will
not make any disagreeable Mixture in the Breed. Strength is chiefly valued
in the Male, and Comeliness in the Female, not upon the account of Love,
but to preserve the Race from degenerating; for where a Female happens to
excell in Strength, a Consort is chosen with regard to Comeliness.
Courtship, Love, Presents, Joyntures, Settlements, have no place in their
Thoughts, or Terms whereby to express them in their Language. The
young Couple meet and are joyned, merely because it is the Determination
of their Parents and Friends: It is what they see done every Day, and they
look upon it as one of the necessary Actions of a Rational Being. But the
Violation of Marriage, or any other Unchastity, was never heard of: And
the married Pair pass their Lives with the same Friendship, and mutual
Benevolence that they bear to all others of the same Species, who come in
their way; without Jealousy, Fondness, Quarrelling, or Discontent.
In educating the Youth of both Sexes, their Method is admirable, and
highly deserves our Imitation. These are not suffered to Taste a Grain of
Oats, except upon certain Days, till Eighteen Years old; nor Milk, but very
rarely; and in Summer they graze two Hours in the Morning, and as long
in the Evening, which their Parents likewise observe, but the Servants are
not allowed above half that time, and a great Part of their Grass is brought
home, which they eat at the most convenient Hours, when they can be best
spared from work.
Temperance, Industry, Exercise and Cleanliness, are the Lessons equally
enjoyned to the young ones of both Sexes: And my Master thought it
monstrous in us to give the Females a different kind of Education from the
Males, except in some Articles of Domestick Management; whereby, as he
truly observed, one half of our Natives were good for nothing but bringing
Children into the World: And to trust the Care of our Children to such
useless Animals, he said, was yet a greater Instance of Brutality.
But theHouyhnhnms train up their Youth to Strength, Speed, and
Hardiness, by exercising them in running Races up and down steep Hills,
and over hard and stony Grounds, and when they are all in a Sweat, they
are ordered to leap over Head and Ears, into a Pond or a River. Four times
a Year the Youth of a certain District meet to shew their Proficiency in
Running, and Leaping, and other Feats of Strength and Agility; where the
Victor is rewarded, with a Song made in his or her Praise. On this Festival
the Servants drive a Herd of Yahoos into the Field, laden with Hay, and
Oats, and Milk, for a repast to the Houyhnhnms; after which these Brutes
are immediately driven back again, for Fear of being noisome to the
Assembly.
Every fourth Year, at the Vernal Equinox, there is a Representative
Council of the whole Nation, which meets in a Plain about twenty Miles
from our House, and continues about five or six Days. Here they enquire
into the State and Condition of the several Districts, Whether they abound
or be deficient in Hay or Oats, or Cows or Yahoos? and wherever there is
any Want (which is seldom) it is immediately supplied by unanimous
Consent and Contribution. Here likewise the Regulation of Children is
settled: As for instance, if a Houyhnhnm hath two Males, he changeth one
of them with another that hath two Females: And when a Child hath been
lost by any Casualty, where the Mother is past Breeding, it is determined
what Family in the District shall breed another to supply the Loss.
CHAPTER IX.
A grand Debate at the General Assembly of the Houyhnhnms, and how it
was determined. The Learning of the Houyhnhnms. Their Buildings. Their
manner of Burials. The defectiveness of their Language.
ONE OF THESE Grand Assemblies was held in my time, about three
Months before my Departure, whither my Master went as the
Representative of our District. In this Council was resumed their old
Debate, and indeed, the only Debate which ever happened in that Country;
whereof my Master after his Return gave me a very particular Account.
The Question to be debated was whether the Yahoos should be
exterminated from the Face of the Earth? One of the Members for the
Affirmative offered several Arguments of great Strength, and Weight,
alledging That as the Yahoos were the most filthy, noisome, and deformed
Animal which Nature ever produced, so they were the most restive and
indocile, mischievous and malicious: They would privately suck the Teats
of the Houyhnhnms Cows, kill and devour their Cats, trample down their
Oats and Grass, if they were not continually watched, and commit a
thousand other Extravagancies. He took notice of a general Tradition, That
Yahoos had not been always in that Country: But, that many Ages ago, two
of these Brutes appeared together upon a Mountain, whether produced by
the Heat of the Sun upon corrupted Mud and Slime, or from the Ooze or
Froth of the Sea, was never known. That these Yahoos engendered, and
their Brood in a short time grew so numerous as to over run and infest the
whole Nation. That theHouyhnhnms to get rid of this Evil, made a general
Hunting, and at last enclosed the whole Herd; and destroying the old Ones,
every Houyhnhnm kept two young Ones in a Kennel, and brought them to
such a degree of Tameness, as an Animal so savage by Nature can be
capable of acquiring; using them for Draught and Carriage. That there
seemed to be much Truth in this Tradition, and that those Creatures could
not be Ylnhniamshy (or Aborigines of the Land), because of the violent
Hatred the Houyhnhnms, as well as all other Animals, bore them; which
although their evil Disposition sufficiently deserved, could never have
arrived at so high a Degree, if they had been Aborigines, or else they
would have long since been rooted out. That the Inhabitants taking a Fancy
to use the Service of the Yahoos, had very imprudently neglected to
cultivate the Breed of Asses, which were a comely Animal, easily kept,
more tame and orderly, without any offensive Smell, strong enough for
Labour, although they yield to the other in Agility of Body; and if their
Braying be no agreeable Sound, it is far preferable to the horrible
Howlings of the Yahoos.
Several others declared their Sentiments to the same Purpose, when my
Master proposed an Expedient to the Assembly, whereof he had indeed
borrowed the Hint from me. He approved of the Tradition, mentioned by
the Honourable Member, who spoke before, and affirmed, that the Two
Yahoos said to be first seen among them had been driven thither over the
Sea; that coming to Land, and being forsaken by their Companions, they
retired to the Mountains, and degenerating by Degrees, became in process
of time, much more savage than those of their own Species in the Country
from where these two Originals came. The Reason of his assertion was that
he had now in his Possession a certain wonderful Yahoo, (meaning myself)
which most of them had heard of, and many of them had seen. He then
related to them, how he first found me; that my Body was all covered with
an artificial Composure of the Skins and Hairs of other Animals: That I had
a Language of my own, and had thoroughly learned theirs: That I had
related to him the Accidents which brought me thither: That when he saw
me without my Covering, I was an exact Yahoo in every Part, only of a
whiter Colour, less hairy, and with shorter Claws. He added, how I had
endeavoured to persuade him, that in my own and other Countries, the
Yahoos acted as the governing, Rational Animal, and held theHouyhnhnms
in Servitude: That he observed in me all the Qualities of a Yahoo, only a
little more civilized by some Tincture of Reason, which however was in a
degree as far inferior to the Houyhnhnm Race, as the Yahoos of their
Country were to me: That among other things, I mentioned a Custom we
had of CastratingHouyhnhnms when they were young, in order to render
them tame: That the Operation was easy and safe; that it was no Shame to
learn Wisdom from Brutes, as Industry is taught by the Ant, and Building
by the Swallow. (For so I translate the Word Lyhannh, although it be a
much larger Fowl.) That this Invention might be practiced upon the
younger Yahoos here, which, besides rendering them tractable and fitter
for Use, would in an Age put an End to the whole Species without
destroying Life. That, in the mean time the Houyhnhnms should be
exhorted to cultivate the Breed of Asses, which as they are in all respects
more valuable Brutes, so they have this Advantage, to be fit for Service at
Five Years old, which the others are not till twelve.
This was all my Master thought fit to tell me at that time, of what passed in
the Grand Council. But he was pleased to conceal one Particular, which
related Personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the unhappy Effect, as the
Reader will know in its proper Place, and from which I date all the
succeeding Misfortunes of my Life.
The Houyhnhnms have no Letters, and consequently their Knowledge is all
Traditional. But there happening few Events of any Moment among a
People so well united, naturally disposed to every Virtue, wholly governed
by Reason, and cut off from all Commerce with other Nations, the
Historical Part is easily preserved without burthening their Memory. I have
already observed, that they are subject to no Diseases, and therefore can
have no need of Physicians. However, they have excellent Medicines
composed of Herbs, to cure accidental Bruises and Cuts in the Pastern or
Frog of the Foot by sharp Stones, as well as other Maims and Hurts in the
several Parts of the Body.
They calculate the Year by the Revolution of the Sun and the Moon, but use
no subdivisions into Weeks. They are well enough acquainted with the
Motions of those two luminaries, and understand the Nature of Eclipses;
and this is the utmost Progress of their Astronomy.
In Poetry they must be allowed to excell all other Mortals; wherein the
Justness of their Similes, and the Minuteness, as well as Exactness of their
Descriptions, are indeed inimitable. Their Verses abound very much in
both of these, and usually contain either some exalted Notions of
Friendship and Benevolence, or the Praises of those who were Victors in
Races, and other bodily Exercises. Their Buildings, although very rude and
simple, are not inconvenient, but well contrived to defend them from all
Injuries of Cold and Heat. They have a kind of Tree which at Forty Years
old loosens in the Root, and falls with the first Storm; they grow very
strait, and being pointed like stakes with a sharp Stone, (for
theHouyhnhnms know not the use of Iron) they stick them erect in the
Ground about ten Inches asunder, and then weave in Oat-straw, or
sometimes Wattles betwixt them. The Roof is made after the same Manner,
and so are the Doors.
TheHouyhnhnms use the hollow Part between the Pastern and the Hoof of
their Fore-feet, as we do our Hands, and this with greater Dexterity, than I
could at first imagine. I have seen a White Mare of our Family thread a
Needle (which I lent her on purpose) with that Joynt. They milk their
Cows, reap their Oats, and do all the Work which requires Hands, in the
same manner. They have a kind of hard Flints, which by grinding against
other Stones, they form into Instruments, that serve instead of Wedges,
Axes, and Hammers. With Tools made of these Flints, they likewise cut
their Hay, and reap their Oats, which there groweth naturally in several
Fields: The Yahoos draw home the Sheaves in Carriages, and the Servants
tread them in several covered Huts, to get out the Grain, which is kept in
Stores. They make a rude kind of earthen and wooden Vessels, and bake
the former in the Sun.
If they can avoid Casualties, they die only of Old-Age, and are buried in
the obscurest Places that can be found, their Friends and Relations
expressing neither Joy nor Grief at their Departure; nor does the dying
Person discover the least Regret that he is leaving the World, any more
than if he were upon returning home from a Visit to one of his
Neighbours. I remember my Master having once made an appointment
with a Friend and his Family to come to his House upon some Affair of
Importance, on the Day fixed, the Mistress and her two Children came
very late; she made two Excuses, first for her Husband, who, as she said,
happened that very Morning to Shnuwnh. The Word is strongly expressive
in their Language, but not easily rendered into English; it signifies, to
retire to his first Mother. Her Excuse for not coming sooner, was, that her
Husband dying late in the Morning, she was a good while consulting her
Servants about a convenient Place where his Body should be laid; and I
observed she behaved herself at our House, as chearfully as the rest, and
died about three Months after.
They live generally to Seventy or Seventy-five Years, very seldom to
Fourscore: Some Weeks before their Death they feel a gradual Decay, but
without Pain. During this time they are much visited by their Friends,
because they cannot go abroad, with their usual Ease and Satisfaction.
However, about ten Days before their Death, which they seldom fail in
computing, they return the Visits that have been made them by those who
are nearest in the Neighbourhood, being carried in a convenient Sledge
drawn by Yahoos, which Vehicle they use, not only upon this Occasion, but
when they grow old upon long Journeys, or when they are lamed by any
Accident. And therefore when the dying Houyhnhnms return those Visits,
they take a solemn Leave of their Friends, as if they were going to some
remote Part of the Country, where they designed to pass the rest of their
Lives.
I know not whether it may be worth observing, that the Houyhnhnms have
no Word in their Language to express any thing that is Evil, except what
they borrow from the Deformities or ill Qualities of the Yahoos. Thus they
denote the Folly of a Servant, an Omission of a Child, a Stone that cut their
Feet, a continuance of foul or unseasonable Weather, and the like, by
adding to each the Epithet of Yahoo. For Instance, hhnm Yahoo,
Whnaholm Yahoo, Ynlhmndwihlma Yahoo, and an ill-contrived House,
Ynholmhnmrohlnw Yahoo.
I could with great Pleasure enlarge further upon the Manners and Virtues
of this excellent People; but intending in a short time to publish a Volume
by itself expressly upon that Subject, I refer the Reader thither. And in the
mean time, proceed to relate my own sad Catastrophe.
CHAPTER X.
The Author's Oeconomy and happy Life among the Houyhnhnms. His great
Improvement in Virtue, by conversing with them. Their Conversations.
The Author has notice given him by his Master that he must depart from
the Country. He falls into a Swoon for Grief, but submits. He contrives and
finishes a Canoo, by the help of a Fellow-Servant, and puts to Sea at a
venture.
I HAD settled my little Oeconomy to my own Heart's content. My Master
had ordered a Room to be made for me after their Manner, about six
Yards from the House, the Sides and Floors of which I plastered with Clay,
and covered with Rush-mats of my own contriving; I had beaten Hemp,
which there grows wild, and made of it a sort of Ticking: This I filled with
the Feathers of several Birds I had taken with Springes made of Yahoos
Hairs, and were excellent Food. I had worked two Chairs with my Knife,
the Sorrel Nag helping me in the grosser and more labourious Part. When
my Cloaths were worn to Rags, I made myself others with the Skins of
Rabbets, and of a certain beautiful Animal about the same size, called
Nnuhnoh, the Skin of which is covered with a fine Down. Of these I
likewise made very tolerable Stockings. I soled my Shoes with Wood,
which I cut from a Tree, and fitted to the upper Leather, and when this was
worn out, I supplied it with the Skins of Yahoos dried in the Sun. I often
got Honey out of hollow Trees, which I mingled with Water, or eat with
my Bread. No Man could more verify the Truth of these two Maxims, That
Nature is very easily satisfied; and That Necessity is the Mother of
Invention. I enjoyed perfect Health of Body and Tranquillity of Mind; I did
not feel the Treachery or Inconstancy of a Friend, nor the Injuries of a
secret or open Enemy. I had no occasion of bribing, flattering, or pimping,
to procure the Favour of any great Man or of his Minion. I wanted no
Fence against Fraud or Oppression; Here was neither Physician to destroy
my Body, nor Lawyer to ruin my Fortune; No Informer to watch my
Words, and Actions, or forge Accusations against me for hire: Here were
no Gibers, Censurers, Backbiters, Pick-pockets, Highwaymen,
Housebreakers, Attorneys, Bawds, Buffoons, Gamesters, Politicians, Wits,
Spleneticks, tedious Talkers, Controvertists, Ravishers, Murderers,
Robbers, Virtuosos; no Leaders or Followers of Party and Faction: No
encouragers to Vice, by Seducement or Examples: No Dungeon, Axes,
Gibbets, Whipping-posts, or Pillories: No cheating Shop-keepers or
Mechanicks: No Pride, Vanity: or Affectation; No Fops, Bullies,
Drunkards, strolling Whores, or Poxes: No ranting, lewd, expensive
Wives: No stupid, proud Pedants: No importunate, overbearing,
quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited, swearing Companions: No
Scoundrels, raised from the Dust for the Sake of their Vices, or Nobility
thrown into it on account of their Virtues: No Lords, Fidlers, Judges, or
Dancing-Masters.
I had the Favour of being admitted to several Houyhnhnms, who came to
visit or dine with my Master; where his Honour graciously suffered me to
wait in the Room, and listen to their Discourse. Both he and his Company
would often descend to ask me Questions, and receive my Answers. I had
also sometimes the Honour of attending my Master in his Visits to others. I
never presumed to speak, except in answer to a Question, and then I did it
with inward Regret, because it was a Loss of so much Time for improving
myself: But I was infinitely delighted with the Station of an humble
Auditor in such Conversations, where nothing passed but what was useful,
expressed in the fewest and most significant Words; where the greatest
Decency was observed, without the least Degree of Ceremony; where no
Person spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his Companions:
Where there was no Interruption, Tediousness, Heat, or Difference of
Sentiments. They have a Notion, That when People are met together, a
short Silence doth much improve Conversation: This I found to be true; for
during those little Intermissions of Talk, new Ideas would arise in their
Thoughts, which very much enlivened their Discourse. Their Subjects are
generally on Friendship and Benevolence, or Order and Oeconomy;
sometimes upon the visible Operations of Nature, or ancient Traditions,
upon the Bounds and Limits of Virtue, upon the unerring Rules of Reason,
or upon some Determinations, to be taken at the next great Assembly; and
often upon the various Excellencies of Poetry. I may add without Vanity,
that my Presence often gave them sufficient Matter for Discourse, because
it afforded my Master an Occasion of letting his Friends into the History of
me and my Country, upon which they were all pleased to descant in a
Manner not very advantageous to human Kind; and for that Reason I shall
not repeat what they said: Only I may be allowed to observe, That his
Honour, to my great Admiration, appeared to understand the Nature of
Yahoos in all Countries much better than myself. He went through all our
Vices and Follies, and discovered many which I had never mentioned to
him, by only supposing what Qualities a Yahoo of their Country, with a
small Proportion of Reason, might be capable of exerting; and concluded,
with too much Probability, how vile as well as miserable such a Creature
must be.
I freely confess, that all the little Knowledge I have of any Value, was
acquired by the Lectures I received from my Master, and from hearing the
Discourses of him and his Friends; to which I should be prouder to listen,
than to dictate to the greatest and wisest Assembly in Europe. I admired the
Strength, Comeliness, and Speed of the Inhabitants; and such a
Constellation of Virtues in such Amiable Persons produced in me the
highest Veneration. At first, indeed, I did not feel that natural Awe which
the Yahoos and all other Animals bear towards them, but it grew upon me
by Degrees, much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with a
respectful Love and Gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguish
me from the rest of my Species.
When I thought of my Family, my Friends, my Countrymen, or Human
Race in general, I considered them as they really were, Yahoos in Shape
and Disposition, perhaps a little more civilized, and qualified with the Gift
of Speech, but making no other use of Reason, than to improve and
multiply those Vices whereof their Brethren in this Country had only the
Share that Nature allotted them. When I happened to behold the Reflection
of my own Form in a Lake or Fountain, I turned away my Face in Horror
and Detestation of myself, and could better endure the sight of a common
Yahoo, than of my own Person. By conversing with the Houyhnhnms, and
looking upon them with Delight, I fell to imitate their Gait and Gesture,
which is now grown into an Habit, and my Friends often tell me in a blunt
way, that I trot like a Horse; which, however, I take for a great
Compliment: Neither shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into
the Voice and Manner of the Houyhnhnms, and hear myself ridiculed on
that Account without the least Mortification.
In the midst of all this Happiness, and when I looked upon myself to be
fully settled for Life, my Master sent for me one Morning a little earlier
than his usual Hour. I observed by his Countenance that he was in some
Perplexity, and at a Loss how to begin what he had to speak. After a short
Silence, He told me he did not know how I would take what he was going
to say; that in the last general Assembly, when the Affair of the Yahoos
was entered upon, the Representatives had taken offence at his keeping a
Yahoo (meaning myself) in his Family more like a Houyhnhnm, than a
Brute Animal. That he was known frequently to converse with me, as if he
could receive some Advantage or Pleasure in my Company: That such a
Practice was not agreeable to Reason or Nature, nor a Thing ever heard of
before among them. The Assembly did therefore exhort him, either to
employ me like the rest of my Species, or command me to swim back to
the Place from where I came. That the first of these Expedients was utterly
rejected by all theHouyhnhnms, who had ever seen me at his House or their
own: For they alledged, That because I had some Rudiments of Reason,
added to the natural Pravity of those Animals, it was to be feared, I might
be able to seduce them into the woody and mountainous Parts of the
Country, and bring them in Troops by Night to destroy the Houyhnhnms
Cattle, as being naturally of the ravenous Kind, and averse from Labour.
My Master added, That he was daily pressed by theHouyhnhnms of the
Neighbourhood to have the Assembly's Exhortation executed, which he
could not put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible for me
to swim to another Country, and therefore wished I would contrive some
sort of Vehicle resembling those I had described to him, that might carry
me on the Sea; in which Work I should have the Assistance of his own
Servants, as well as those of his Neighbours. He concluded, That for his
own Part he could have been content to keep me in his Service as long as I
lived, because he found I had cured myself of some bad Habits and
Dispositions, by endeavouring, as far as my inferior Nature was capable, to
imitate the Houyhnhnms.
I should here observe to the Reader, That a Decree of the general
Assembly in this Country, is expressed by the Word Hnhloayn, which
signifies an Exhortation; as near as I can render it: For they have no
Conception how a rational Creature can be compelled, but only advised or
exhorted, because no Person can disobey Reason, without giving up his
Claim to be a rational Creature.
I was struck with the utmost Grief and Despair at my Master's Discourse,
and being unable to support the Agonies I was under, I fell into a Swoon at
his Feet; when I came to myself, he told me that he concluded I had been
dead. (For these People are subject to no such Imbecilities of Nature). I
answered, in a faint Voice, That Death would have been too great a
Happiness; that although I could not blame the Assembly's Exhortation, or
the Urgency of his Friends; yet, in my weak and corrupt Judgment, I
thought it might consist with Reason to have been less rigorous. That I
could not swim a League, and probably the nearest Land to theirs might be
distant above an hundred: That many Materials, necessary for making a
small Vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting in this Country, which,
however, I would attempt in Obedience and Gratitude to his Honour,
although I concluded the Thing to be impossible, and therefore looked on
my self as already devoted to Destruction. That the certain Prospect of
unnatural Death, was the least of my Evils: For, supposing I should escape
with Life by some strange Adventure, how could I think with Temper, of
passing my Days among Yahoos, and relapsing into my old Corruptions,
for want of Examples to lead and keep me within the Paths of Virtue. That
I knew too well upon what solid Reasons all the Determinations of the wise
Houyhnhnms were founded, not to be shaken by Arguments of mine, a
miserable Yahoo; and therefore after presenting him with my humble
Thanks for the Offer of his Servants Assistance in making a Vessel, and
desiring a Reasonable Time for so difficult a Work, I told him I would
endeavour to preserve a wretched Being; and if ever I returned to England,
was not without Hopes of being useful to my own Species, by celebrating
the Praises of the renowned Houyhnhnms, and proposing their Virtues to
the Imitation of Mankind.
My Master in a few Words made me a very gracious Reply, and allowed
me the space of two Months to finish my Boat; and ordered the Sorrel Nag,
my Fellow-Servant, (for so at this Distance I may presume to call him) to
follow my Instructions, because I told my Master that his Help would be
sufficient, and I knew he had a Tenderness for me.
In his Company, my first Business was to go to that Part of the Coast,
where my rebellious Crew had ordered me to be set on Shore. I got upon a
Height, and looking on every side into the Sea, fancied I saw a small Island,
towards the North-East: I took out my Pocket-glass, and could then clearly
distinguish it about five Leagues off, as I computed; but it appeared to the
Sorrel Nag to be only a blue Cloud: For, as he had no Conception of any
Country beside his own, so he could not be as Expert in distinguishing
remote Objects at Sea, as we who so much converse in that Element.
After I had discovered this Island, I considered no farther; but resolved, it
should, if possible, be the first Place of my Banishment, leaving the
Consequence to Fortune.
I returned Home, and consulting with the Sorrel Nag, we went into a Copse
at some Distance, where I with my Knife, and he with a sharp Flint
fastened very artificially, after their Manner, to a wooden Handle, cut
down several Oak Wattles about the Thickness of a Walking-staff, and
some larger Pieces. But I shall not trouble the Reader with a particular
Description of my own Mechanicks; let it suffice to say, that in six Weeks
time, with the Help of the Sorrel Nag, who performed the Parts that
required most Labour, I finished a sort of Indian Canoo, but much larger,
covering it with the Skins of Yahoos well stitched together, with hempen
Threads of my own making. My Sail was likewise composed of the Skins of
the same Animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, the older
being too tough and thick, and I likewise provided myself with four
Paddles. I laid in a Stock of boiled Flesh, of Rabbets and Fowls, and took
with me two Vessels, one filled with Milk and the other with Water.
I tried my Canoo in a large Pond near my Master's House, and then
corrected in it what was amiss; stopping all the Chinks with Yahoos
Tallow, till I found it stanch, and able to bear me, and my Freight. And
when it was as compleat as I could possibly make it, I had it drawn on a
Carriage very gently by Yahoos, to the Seaside, under the Conduct of the
Sorrel Nag, and another Servant.
When all was ready, and the Day came for my Departure, I took Leave of
my Master and Lady, and the whole Family, mine Eyes flowing with
Tears, and my Heart quite sunk with Grief. But his Honour, out of
Curiosity, and perhaps (if I may speak it without Vanity) partly out of
Kindness, was determined to see me in my Canoo, and got several of his
neighbouring Friends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an
Hour for the Tide, and then observing the Wind very fortunately bearing
towards the Island, to which I intended to steer my Course, I took a second
Leave of my Master: But as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his
Hoof, he did me the Honour to raise it gently to my Mouth. I am not
ignorant how much I have been censured for mentioning this last
Particular. For my Detractors are pleased to think it improbable, that so
Illustrious a Person should descend to give so great a Mark of Distinction
to a Creature so inferior as I. Neither have I forgot, how apt some
Travellers are to boast of extraordinary Favours they have received. But if
these Censurers were better acquainted with the noble and courteous
Disposition of the Houyhnhnms, they would soon change their Opinion.
I paid my respects to the rest of theHouyhnhnms in his Honour's Company;
then getting into my Canoo, I pushed off from Shore.
CHAPTER XI.
The Author's dangerous Voyage. He arrives at Hew-Holland, hoping to
settle there. Is wounded with an Arrow by one the Natives. Is seized by
Force into a Portugueze Ship. The great Civilities of the Captain. The
Author arrives at England.
I BEGAN this desperate Voyage on February 15, 1714/5, at 9 o'Clock in
the Morning. The Wind was very favourable; however, I made use at first
only of my Paddles; but considering I should soon be weary, and that the
Wind might chop about, I ventured set up my little Sail; and thus with the
help of the Tide, I went at the rate of a League and a half an Hour, as near
as I could guess. My Master and his Friends continued on the Shoar, till I
was almost out of sight; and I often heard the Sorrel Nag (who always
loved me) crying out, Hnuy illa nyha majah Yahoo, Take care of thyself,
gentle Yahoo.
My Design was, if possible, to discover some small Island uninhabited, yet
sufficient by my Labour to furnish me with the Necessaries of Life, which
I would have thought a greater Happiness than to be first Minister in the
politest Court of Europe; so horrible was the Idea I conceived of returning
to live in the Society and under the Government of Yahoos. For in such a
Solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my own Thoughts, and reflect
with Delight on the Virtues of those inimitable Houyhnhnms, without any
Opportunity of degenerating into the Vices and Corruptions of my own
Species.
The Reader may remember what I related when my Crew conspired
against me, and confined me to my Cabbin. How I continued there several
Weeks, without knowing what Course we took, and when I was put a Shoar
in the Long-boat, how the Sailors told me with Oaths, whether true or
false, that not in what Part of the World we were. However, I did then
believe us to be about ten Degrees Southward of the Cape of Good Hope,
or about 45 Degrees Southern Latitude, as I gathered from some general
Words I over-heard among them, being I supposed to the South-East in
their intended Voyage to Madagascar. And although this were but little
better than Conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my Course Eastward, hoping
to reach the South-West Coast of New Holland, and perhaps some such
Island as I desired, lying Westward of it. The Wind was full West, and by
six in the Evening I computed I had gone Eastward at least eighteen
Leagues, when I spied a very small Island about half a League off, which I
soon reached. It was nothing but a Rock with one Creek, naturally arched
by the Force of Tempests. Here I put in my Canoo, and climbing up a part
of the Rock, I could plainly discover Land to the East, extending from
South to North. I lay all Night in my Canoo, and repeating my Voyage
early in the Morning, I arrived in seven Hours to the South East Point of
New Holland. This confirmed me in the Opinion I have long entertained,
that the Maps and Charts place this Country at least three Degrees more to
the East than it really is; which thought I communicated many Years ago to
my worthy Friend Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my Reasons for it,
although he hath rather chosen to follow other Authors.
I saw no Inhabitants in the Place where I landed, and being unarmed, I was
afraid of venturing far into the Country. I found some Shell-fish on the
Shore, and eat them raw, not daring to kindle a Fire, for Fear of being
discovered by the Natives. I continued three Days feeding on Oysters and
Limpits, to save my own Provisions; and I fortunately found a Brook of
excellent Water, which gave me great Relief.
On the fourth Day, venturing out early a little too far, I saw twenty or
thirty Natives upon a Height, not above five hundred Yards from me. They
were stark naked, Men, Women, and Children round a Fire, as I could
discover by the Smoak. One of them spied me, and gave notice to the rest;
five of them advanced towards me leaving the Women and Children at the
Fire. I made what haste I could to the Shore, and getting into my Canoo,
shoved off: The Savages observing me retreat, ran after me; and before I
could get far enough into the Sea, discharged an Arrow, which wounded
me deeply on the inside of my left Knee (I shall carry the Mark to my
Grave). I apprehended the Arrow might be poisoned, and paddling out of
the reach of their Darts (being a calm Day) I made a shift to suck the
Wound, and dress it as well as I could.
I was at a Loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same Landing-
place, but stood to the North, and was forced to paddle; for the Wind
though very gentle, was against me, blowing North-West. As I was looking
about for a secure Landing-place, I saw a Sail to the North-North-East,
which appearing every Minute more visible, I was in some Doubt whether
I should wait for them, or no; but at last my Detestation of the Yahoo Race
prevailed, and turning my Canoo, I sailed and paddled together to the
South, and got into the same Creek from whence I set out in the Morning,
choosing rather to trust myself among these Barbarians, than live with
European Yahoos. I drew up my Canoo as close as I could to the Shore,
and hid myself behind a Stone by the little Brook, which, as I have already
said, was excellent Water.
The Ship came within half a League of this Creek, and sent out her Long-
Boat with Vessels to take in fresh Water (for the Place it seems was very
well known) but I did not observe it till the Boat was almost on Shore, and
it was too late to seek another Hiding-place. The Seamen at their landing
observed my Canoo, and rummaging it all over, easily conjectured that the
Owner could not be far off. Four of them well-armed searched every
Cranny and Lurking-hole, till at last they found me flat on my Face behind
the Stone. They gazed a while in Admiration at my strange uncouth Dress,
my Coat made of Skins, my wooden-soled Shoes, and my furred Stockings;
from whence, however, they concluded I was not a Native of the Place,
who all go naked. One of the Seamen in Portugueze bid me rise, and asked
who I was. I understood that Language very well, and getting upon my
Feet, said I was a poor Yahoo, banished from the Houyhnhnms, and desired
they would please to let me depart. They admired to hear me answer them
in their own Tongue, and saw by my Complextion I must be an European;
but were at a Loss to know what I meant by Yahoos and Houyhnhnms, and
at the same time fell a laughing at my strange Tone in speaking, which
resembled the Neighing of a Horse. I trembled all the while betwixt Fear
and Hatred: I again desired Leave to depart, and was gently moving to my
Canoo; but they laid hold on me, desiring to know what Country I was of?
whence I came? with many other Questions. I told them I was born in
England, from whence I came about five Years ago, and then their Country
and ours were at Peace. I therefore hoped they would not treat me as an
Enemy, since I meant them no Harm, but was a poor Yahoo, seeking some
desolate Place where to pass the remainder of his unfortunate Life.
When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw any thing so
unnatural; for it appeared to me as Dog or a Cow should speak in England,
or a Yahoo in Houyhnhnm-land The honest Portugueze were equally
amazed at my strange Dress, and the odd Manner of delivering my Words,
which however they understood very well. They spoke to me with great
Humanity, and said they were sure the Captain would carry me gratis to
Lisbon, from whence I might return to my own Country; that two of the
Seamen would go back to the Ship, inform the Captain of what they had
seen, and receive his Orders; in the mean time, unless I would give my
solemn Oath not to fly, they would secure me by Force. I thought it best to
comply with their Proposal. They were very curious to know my Story,
but I gave them very little Satisfaction; and they all conjectured my
Misfortunes had impaired my Reason. In two Hours the Boat, which went
loaden with Vessels of Water, returned with the Captain's Command to
fetch me on Board. I fell on my Knees to preserve my Liberty; but all was
in vain, and the Men having tied me with Cords, heaved me into the Boat,
from whence I was taken into the Ship, and from thence into the Captain's
Cabbin.
His Name was Pedro de Mendez, he was a very courteous and generous
Person; he entreated me to give some Account of myself, and desired to
know what I would eat or drink; said I should be used as well as himself,
and spoke so many obliging things, that I wondered to find such Civilities
from a Yahoo. However, I remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint
at the very Smell of him and his Men. At last I desired something to eat out
of my own Canoo; but he ordered me a Chicken and some excellent Wine,
and then directed that I should be put to Bed in a very clean Cabbin. I
would not undress myself, but lay on the Bed-cloaths, and in half an Hour
stole out, when I thought the Crew was at Dinner, and getting to the side of
the Ship was going to leap into the Sea, and swim for my Life, rather than
continue among Yahoos. But one of the Seamen prevented me, and having
informed the Captain, I was chained to my Cabbin.
After Dinner Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my Reason for
so desperate an Attempt; assured me he only meant to do me all the Service
he was able, and spoke so very movingly, that at last I descended to treat
him like an Animal which had some little portion of Reason. I gave him a
very short Relation of my Voyage, of the Conspiracy against me by own
Men, of the Country where they set me on Shore, and of my three Years
Residence there. All which he looked upon as if it were a Dream or a
Vision; whereat I took great Offence; for I had quite forgotten the Faculty
of Lying, so peculiar to Yahoos in all Countries where they preside, and,
consequently the Disposition of suspecting Truth in others of their own
Species. I asked him, Whether it were the Custom in his Country to say the
Thing that was not? I assured him I had almost forgotten what he meant by
Falsehood, and if I had lived a thousand Years in Houyhnhnm-land, I
should never have heard a Lye from the meanest Servant; that I was
altogether indifferent whether he believed me or no; but however, in
Return for his Favours, I would give so much Allowance to the Corruption
of his Nature, as to answer any Objection he would please to make, and
then he might easily discover the Truth.
The Captain, a wise Man, after many Endeavours to catch me tripping in
some Part of my Story, at last began to have a better Opinion of my
Veractiy, and the rather because he confessed, he met with a Dutch
Skipper, who pretended to have landed with Five others of his Crew upon a
certain Island or Continent South of New-Holland, where they went for
fresh Water, and observed a Horse driving before him several Animals
exactly resembling those I described under the Name of Yahoos, with some
other Particulars, which the Captain said he had forgotten; because he then
concluded them all to be Lies. But he added, that since I professed so
inviolable an Attachment to Truth, I must give him my Word of Honour to
bear him company in this Voyage, without attempting any thing against my
Life, or else he would continue me a Prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon. I
gave him the Promise he required; but at the same time protested that I
would suffer the greatest Hardships rather than return to live among
Yahoos.
Our Voyage passed without any considerable Accident. In Gratitude to the
Captain I sometimes sate with him at his earnest Request, and strove to
conceal my Antipathy to human Kind, although it often broke out, which
he suffered to pass without Observation. But the greatest Part of the Day I
confined myself to my Cabbin, to avoid seeing any of the Crew. The
Captain had often entreated me to strip myself of my savage Dress, and
offered to lend me the best Suit of Cloaths he had. This I would not be
prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover myself with any thing that had
been on the Back of a Yahoo. I only desired he would lend me two clean
shirts, which having been washed since he wore them, I believed would not
so much defile me. These I changed every second Day, and washed them
myself.
We arrived at Lisbon, Nov. 5, 1715. At our landing the Captain forced me
to cover myself with his Cloak, to prevent the Rabble from crouding about
me. I was conveyed to his own House, and at my earnest Request, he led me
up to the highest Room backwards. I conjured him to conceal from all
Persons what I had told him of the Houyhnhnms, because the least Hint of
such a Story would not only draw Numbers of People to see me, but
probably, put me in Danger of being imprisoned, or burned by the
Inquisition. The Captain persuaded me to accept a Suit of Cloaths newly
made; but I would not suffer the Taylor to take my Measure; however,
Don Pedro being almost of my Size, they fitted me well enough. He
accoutred me with other Necessaries all new, which I aired for twenty-four
Hours before I would use them.
The Captain had no Wife, nor above three Servants, none of which were
suffered to attend at Meals, and his whole deportment was so obliging,
added to very good human Understanding, that I really began to tolerate
his Company. He gained so far upon me, that I ventured to look out of the
back Window. By Degrees I was brought into another Room, from whence
I peeped into the Street, but drew my Head back in a Fright. In a Week's
time he seduced me down to the Door. I found my Terror gradually
lessened, but my Hatred and Contempt seemed to encrease. I was at last
bold enough to walk the Street in his Company, but kept my Nose well
stopped with Rue, or sometimes with Tobacco.
In ten Days Don Pedro, to whom I had given some Account of my
Domestick Affairs, put it upon me as a Matter of Honour and Conscience,
that I ought to return to my native Country, and live at Home with my
Wife and Children. He told me, there was an English Ship in Port just
ready to sail, and he would furnish me with all things necessary. It would
be tedious to repeat his Arguments, and my Contradictions. He said it was
altogether impossible to find such a solitary Island as I had desired to live
in; but I might command in my own House, and pass my time in a Manner
as recluse as I pleased.
I complied at last, finding I could not do better. I left Lisbon the 24th Day
of November, in an English Merchant-Man, but who was the Master I
never enquired. Don Pedro accompanied me to the Ship, and lent me
Twenty Pounds. He took kind Leave of me, and embraced me at parting,
which I bore as well as I could. During the last Voyage I had no Commerce
with the Master or any of his Men; but pretending I was sick, kept close in
my Cabbin. On the Fifth of December, 1715, we cast Anchor in the Downs
about Nine in the Morning, and at Three in the Afternoon I got safe to my
House at Rotherhith.
My Wife and Family received me with great Surprise and Joy, because they
concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the sight of them
filled me only with Hatred, Disgust, and Contempt, and the more by
reflecting on the near Alliance I had to them. For, although since my
unfortunate Exile from the Houyhnhnm Country, I had compelled myself
to tolerate the Sight of Yahoos, and to converse with Don Pedro de
Mendez; yet my Memory and Imagination were perpetually filled with the
Virtues and Ideas of those exalted Houyhnhnms. And when I began to
consider, that by copulating with one of the Yahoo Species I had become a
Parent of more, it struck me with the utmost Shame, Confusion, and
Horror.
As soon as I entered the House, my Wife took me in her Arms, and kissed
me, at which, having not been used to the Touch of that odious Animal for
so many Years, I fell in a Swoon for almost an Hour. At the time I am
writing it is Five Years since my last Return to England: During the first
Year I could not endure my Wife or Children in my Presence, the very
Smell of them was intolerable, much less could I suffer them to eat in the
same Room. To this Hour they dare not presume to touch my Bread, or
drink out of the same Cup, neither was I ever able to let one of them take
me by the Hand. The first Money I laid out was to buy two young Stone-
Horses, which I keep in a good Stable, and next to them the Groom is my
greatest Favourite; for I feel my Spirits revived by the Smell he contracts
in the Stable. My Horses understand me tolerably well; I converse with
them at least four Hours every Day. They are Strangers to Bridle or
Saddle; they live in great Amity with me, and Friendship to each other.
CHAPTER XII.
The Author's Veracity. His Design in publishing this Work. His Censure of
those Travellers who swerve from the Truth. The Author clears himself of
any sinister Ends in writing. An Objection Answered. The Method of
planting Colonies. His Native Country commended. The Right of the
Crown to those Countries described by the Author is justified. the
Difficulty of conquering them. The Author takes his last leave of the
Reader: proposeth his Manner of Living for the future, gives good Advice,
and concludes.
THUS, GENTLE READER, I have given thee a faithful History of my
Travels for Sixteen Years, and above Seven Months; wherein I have not
been so studious of Ornament as Truth. I could perhaps like others have
astonished you with strange improbable Tales; but I rather chose to relate
plain Matter of Fact in the simplest Manner and Style, because my principal
Design was to Inform, and not to amuse thee.
It is easy for us who travel into remote Countries, which are seldom visited
by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form Descriptions of wonderful
Animals both at Sea and Land. Whereas a Traveller's chief Aim should be
to make Men wiser and better, and to improve their Minds by the bad as
well as good Example of what they deliver concerning foreign Places.
I could heartily wish a Law was enacted, that every Traveller before he
were permitted to publish his Voyages, should be obliged to make Oath
before the Lord High Chancellor that all he intended to print was
absolutely true to the best of his Knowledge; for then the World would no
longer be deceived as it usually is, while some Writers, to make their
Works pass the better upon the Publick, impose the grossest Falsities on the
unwary Reader. I have perused several Books of Travels with great Delight
in my younger Days; but having since gone over most Parts of the Globe,
and been able to contradict many fabulous Accounts from my own
Observation, it hath given me a great Disgust against this Part of Reading,
and some Indignation to see the Credulity of Mankind so impudently
abused. Therefore since my Acquaintances were pleased to think my poor
Endeavours might not be unacceptable to my Country, I imposed on myself
as a Maxim, never to be swerved from, that I would strictly adhere to
Truth; neither indeed can I be ever under the least temptation to vary from
it, while I retain in my Mind the Lectures and Example of my Noble
Master, and the other Illustrious Houyhnhnms, of whom I had so long the
Honour to be a humble Bearer.
---Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem Finxit, vanum etiam,
mendacemque improba finget.
I know very well how little Reputation is to be got by Writings which
require neither Genius nor Learning, nor indeed any other Talent, except a
good Memory, or an exact Journal. I know likewise, the Writers of
Travels, like Dictionary-Makers, are sunk into Oblivion by the Weight and
Bulk of those who come after, and therefor lie uppermost. And it is highly
probable, that such Travellers who shall hereafter visit the Countries
described in this Work of mine, may, by detecting my Errors, (if there be
any) and adding many new Discoveries of their own, justle me out of
Vogue, and stand in my Place, making the World forget that I was ever an
Author. This indeed would be too great a Mortification if I wrote for
Fame: But, as my sole Intention was the PUBLICK GOOD, I cannot be
altogether disappointed. For who can read of the Virtues I have mentioned
in the Glorious Houyhnhnms, without being ashamed of his own Vices,
when he considers himself as the reasoning, governing Animal of his
Country? I shall say nothing of those remote Nations where Yahoos preside
amongst which the least corrupted are the Brobdingnagians, whose wise
Maxims in Morality and Government, it would be our Happiness to
observe. But I forbear descanting farther, and rather leave the Judicious
Reader to his own Remarks and Applications.
I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet with no
Censurers: For what Objections can be made against a Writer who relates
only plain Facts that happened in such distant Countries, where we have not
the least Interest with respect either to Trade or Negotiations? I have
carefully avoided every Fault with which common Writers of Travels are
often too justly charged. Besides, I meddle not with any Party, but write
without Passion, Prejudice, or Ill-will against any Man or number of Men
whatsoever. I write for the noblest End, to inform and instruct Mankind,
over whom I may, without Breach of Modesty, pretend to some
Superiority from the Advantages I received by conversing so long among
the most accomplished Houyhnhnms. I write without any View towards
Profit or Praise. I never suffer a Word to pass that may look like
Reflection, or possibly give the least Offence even to those who are most
ready to take it. So that I hope I may with Justice pronounce myself an
Author perfectly blameless, against whom the Tribes of Answerers,
Considerers, Observers, Reflecters, Detecters, Remarkers will never be
able to find matter for exercising their Talents.
I confess, it was whispered to me, that I was bound in Duty as a Subject of
England, to have given in a Memorial to a Secretary of State at my first
coming over; because whatever Lands are discovered by a Subject, belong
to the Crown. But I doubt whether our Conquests in the Countries I treat
of, would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked
Americans. The Lilliputians I think are hardly worth the Charge of a Fleet
and Army to reduce them, and I question whether it might be prudent or
safe to attempt the Brobdingnagians. Or whether an English Army would
be much at their Ease with the Flying Island over their Heads. The
Houyhnhnms, indeed, appear not to be so well prepared for War, a Science
to which they are perfect Strangers, and especially against missive
weapons. However, supposing myself to be a Minister of State, I could
never give my Advice for invading them. Their Prudence, Unanimity,
Unacquaintedness with Fear, and their Love of their Country would amply
supply all Defects in the Military Art. Imagine Twenty thousand of them
breaking into the midst of an European Army, confounding the Ranks,
overturning the Carriages, battering the Warriors' Faces into Mummy, by
terrible Yerks from their hinder Hoofs. For they would well deserve the
Character given to Augustus; Recalcitrat undique tutus. But instead of
Proposals for conquering that magnanimous Nation, I rather wish they
were in a Capacity or Disposition to send a sufficient Number of their
Inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first Principles of
Honour, Truth, Temperance, Publick Spirit, Fortitude, Chastity,
Benevolence, and Fidelity. The Names of all which Virtues are still
retained among us in Languages, and are to be met with in modern as well
as ancient Authors, which I am able to assert from my own small Reading.
But I had another Reason which made me less forward to enlarge his
Majesty's Dominions by my Discovery. To say the Truth, I had conceived a
few Scruples with Relation to the Distributive Justice of Princes upon those
Occasions. For instance, A Crew of Pyrates are driven by a Storm they
know not whither, at length a boy discovers Land from the Top-mast, they
go on Shore to Rob and Plunder; they see an harmless People, are
entertained with Kindness, they give the Country a new Name, they take
formal Possession of it for their King, they set up a rotten Plank or a Stone
for a Memorial, they murder two or three Dozen of the Natives, bring
away a couple more by Force for a Sample, return Home, and get their
Pardon. Here commences a new Dominion acquired with a Title by Divine
Right. Ships are sent with the first Opportunity, the Natives driven out or
destroyed, their Princes tortured to discover their Gold; a free Licence
given to all Acts of Inhumanity and Lust, the Earth reeking with the Blood
of its Inhabitants: And this execrable Crew of Butchers employed in so
pious an Expedition, is a modern Colony sent to convert and civilize an
idolatrous and barbarous People.
But this Description, I confess, doth by no Means affect the British Nation,
who may be an Example to the whole World for their Wisdom, Care, and
Justice in Planting Colonies; their liberal Endowments for the
Advancement of Religion and Learning; their Choice of devout and able
Pastors to propagate Christianity, their Caution in stocking their Provinces
with People of sober Lives and Conversations from this the Mother
Kingdom; their strict regard to the Distribution of Justice in supplying the
Civil Administration through all their Colonies with Officers of the
greatest Abilities, utter Strangers to Corruption; and to crown all, by
sending the most Vigilant and Virtuous Governors, who have no other
Views than the Happiness of the People over whom they preside, and the
Honour of the King their Master.
But, as those Countries which I have described do not appear to have any
Desire of being conquered, and enslaved, murdered or driven out by
Colonies, nor abound either in Gold, Silver, Sugar, or Tobacco; I did
humbly conceive they were by no Means proper Objects of our Zeal, our
Valour, or our Interest. However, if those whom it may concern, think fit
to be of another Opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall be lawfully
called, That no European did ever visit these Countries before me. I mean,
if the Inhabitants ought to be believed; unless a dispute may arise about the
two Yahoos, said to have been seen many Ages ago on a Mountain in
Houyhnhnm-land, from whence the Opinion is, that the Race of those
Brutes hath descended; and these, for anything I know, may have been
English, which indeed I was apt to suspect from the Lineaments of their
Posterity's Countenances, although very much defaced. But, how far that
will go to make out a Title, I leave to the Learned in Colony-Law.
But as to the Formality of taking Possession in my Sovereign's Name, it
never came once into my Thoughts; and if it had, yet as my Affairs then
stood, I should perhaps in point of Prudence and Self-preservation have put
it off to a better Opportunity.
Having thus answered the only Objection that can ever be raised against me
as a Traveller, I here take a final Leave of all my Courteous Readers, and
return to enjoy my own Speculations in my little Garden at Redriff, to
apply those excellent Lessons of Virtue which I learned among the
Houyhnhnms, to instruct the Yahoos of my own Family as far as I shall
find them docile Animals; to behold my Figure often in a Glass, and thus if
possible habituate myself by time to tolerate the sight of a human Creature:
To lament the Brutality of Houyhnhnms in my own Country, but always
treat their Persons with respect, for the sake of my noble Master, his
Family, his Friends, and the whole Houyhnhnm Race, whom these ours
have the Honour to resemble in all their Lineaments, however their
Intellectuals came to degenerate.
I began last Week to permit my Wife to sit at Dinner with me, at the
farthest End of a long Table, and to answer (but with the utmost Brevity)
the few Questions I ask'd her. Yet the Smell of a Yahoo continuing very
offensive, I always keep my Nose well stopt with Rue, Lavender, or
Tobacco-leaves. And although it be hard for a Man late in Life to remove
old Habits, I am not altogether out of Hopes in some time to suffer a
Neighbour Yahoo in my Company without the Apprehensions I am yet
under of his Teeth or his Claws.
My Reconcilement to the Yahoo-kind in general might not be so difficult if
they would be content with those Vices and Follies only, which Nature has
entitled them to. I am not in the least provoked at the Sight of a Lawyer, a
Pick-pocket, a Colonel, a Fool, a Lord, a Gamester, a Politician, a Whore-
Master, a Physician, an Evidence, a Suborner, an Attorney, a Traitor, or
the like: This is all according to the due Course of Things: But when I
behold a Lump of Deformity, and Diseases both in Body and Mind, smitten
with Pride, it immediately breaks all the Measures of my Patience; neither
shall I be ever able to comprehend how such an Animal and such a Vice
could tally together. The wise and virtuous Houyhnhnms, who abound in
all Excellencies that can adorn a Rational Creature, have no Name for this
Vice in their Language, which has no Terms to express anything that is
Evil, except those whereby they describe the detestable Qualities of their
Yahoos, among which they were not able to distinguish this of Pride, for
want of thoroughly understanding Human Nature, as it sheweth itself in
other Countries, where that Animal presides. But I, who had more
Experience, could plainly observe some Rudiments of it among the wild
Yahoos.
But the Houyhnhnms, who live under the Government of Reason, are no
more proud of the good Qualities they possess, than I should be for not
wanting a Leg or an Arm, which no Man in his Wits would boast of,
although he must be miserable without them. I dwell the longer upon this
Subject from the Desire I have to make the Society of an English Yahoo by
any Means not insupportable, and therefore I here entreat those who have
any Tincture of this absurd Vice, that they will not presume to come in my
sight.
FINIS.