F I D O N E W S Volume 17, Number 12 20 Mar 2000 +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+ | The newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: | | FidoNet community | "FidoNews" | | _ | 1-717-732-6820 1:270/720 | | / \ | | | /|oo \ | | | (_| /_) | | | _`@/_ \ _ | | | | | \ \\ | Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720 | | | (*) | \ )) | DougM@paonline.com | | |__U__| / \// | | | _//|| _\ / | | | (_/(_|(____/ | | | (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. | | | -- JOSEPH PULITZER | +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+ Table of Contents 1. EDITORIAL ................................................ 1 Ask Not What FIDONET Does for You ........................ 1 2. ARTICLES ................................................. 2 Installing Love .......................................... 2 3. COLUMNS .................................................. 4 This Week's Web Page ..................................... 4 ECHO TALK - Why Read This Echo? .......................... 5 4. NET HUMOR ................................................ 7 The Height of Science .................................... 7 Roadside Check ........................................... 7 5. COMIX IN ASCII ........................................... 8 Cows Behind Bars ......................................... 8 6. FIDONEWS INFO ............................................ 9 Masthead ................................................. 9 FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 1 20 Mar 2000 ================================================================= EDITORIAL ================================================================= Ask Not What FIDONET Does for You... Doug Myers The title, of course, paraphrases John F. Kennedy's famous statement "Ask not what your country can do for you... ask what you can do for your country." Now it's tough for me to iconize ol' Jack Kennedy - I still remember when he ran for President of the US, and I still remember how he botched the Bay of Pigs Invasion. But it occurred to me recently that the old boy may have been on to something there. After all, don't most religions and philosophies promote the virtue of giving? The column ECHOTALK for this week features my own and others responses to one asking for reasons to continue reading the echo. The responses all, in one way or another, emphasize that he must put something into the echo to enjoy it. Think back to your own echo experiences - do you enjoy echoes the most when you just read through them, or do you enjoy them most when you're posting? Perhaps this is the key to revitalizing Fido! What is it that Fido offers better than the Internet? Answer: Fidonet needs you to do for it more than the Internet ever will... The Internet has Bill Gates and all the DotCom entrepreneurs to fuel it - it doesn't need us amateurs to fuel it. Fido, on the other hand, falls apart quickly without amateurs to move the mail, make the echoes come alive, keep the nodelist in order, write the (mostly) free software which runs our systems, and serve as uplinks for other systems. As a personal note, I've got to say that I've enjoyed Fido most when I've been doing something for it. How may of those of you reading this share the same experience? Perhaps we'll attract folks to Fidonet not by telling them what Fido offers them, but by telling them why Fido needs them. ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 2 20 Mar 2000 ================================================================= ARTICLES ================================================================= A step by step guide to installing love on the human machine. Thanks to Lynn Gipson Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first? Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am? Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running? Tech Support: What programs are running ma'am? Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE However,you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am? Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased. Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal? Tech Support: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message? Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed? Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades. Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do? Tech Support: What does the message say? Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean? Tech Support: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.It means FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 3 20 Mar 2000 that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means - "you have to 'LOVE' your own machine before it can "LOVE" others." Customer: So what should I do? Tech Support: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"? Customer: Yes, I have it. Tech Support: Excellent, you are getting good at this. Customer: Thank you. Tech Support : You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back. Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART! Tech Support: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go Customer: Yes? Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet.They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you. Customer: I will. Thank you for your help Author Unknown ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 4 20 Mar 2000 ================================================================= COLUMNS ================================================================= This Weeks Web Page by Frank Vest 1:124/6308(.1) Comment: In the fast paced world of computers, it is easy to look to the "latest and greatest" for our needs and desires... And... after the Y2K talk of how the old systems weren't Y2K and would die in the year 2000, it's easy to forget them. I'm reminded by a User on my system, that calls via an old Atari, that the old systems didn't all die. :) What: JetSys - Home of JetMail, JetStat and other Atari FidoNet utilities Where: http://www.jetsys.de/ Going for it: This is one of those pages that explains itself well. Rather than boring you with an attempt on my part to describe the page, here it is; ---- JetMail is the best available FidoNet technology based mail processor for the Atari ST computer series. And it's the only one which is supported (there are other free mail processors, but with no support and no further developement). JetMail is now freeware and the sources are available under GPL for download from this site or by FidoNet file request from 2:2432/1101 with Magic JETSRC. Features included in JetMail: Full 5D capability Integrated Areafix with forwarding capability Integrated Filefix FileEcho maintenance functions Integrated messagetracker Handling of different netmail areas Echomail/Packet statistics Includes nearly all IOS/ACS features and much more Highly configurable Very fast There is a demo package available which includes JetMail (Version 1.01) and JetStat (Version 1.01) and a preliminary documentation in ASCII format (sorry, the doc's are only availabe in english language) together with sample message files for the internal areafix and filefix. If you want to run the JetMail internal message tracker you need to download the BTNC nodelist compiler and the FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 5 20 Mar 2000 Xvision browsing utility. JetMail is only a mail processor for FidoNet networks. You can't read or write net- or echomails with JetMail. I recommend LED for this purpose. Y2K fixed version 1.01 is now available. There is a problem with the PureC library function strftime which expands %y to 10 instead of 00. This only effects the date in JetMail generated messages. For LED you had to pick up another update file. ---- If you're into the Atari computers, drop by this page. Regards, Frank, flv@texoma.net ----------------------------------------------------------------- . -- -- -- -- -- ECHO TALK -- -- -- -- -- . | Food for thought from Fido's echomail. | | Purloined without permission by D Myers | ` -- -- -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- -- ' Though the messages below were taken from the MODERATOR echo in response to Jim Hanoian, I thought they were applicable to all echoes and might be of interest to all FIDONEWS readers. ---------- Echomail from Douglas Myers to Jim Hanoian ---------- JH> I signed up for this echo since I am a Fido Moderator. I was JH> under the obviously mistaken impression that I was going to JH> actually find something here that would help me do my job JH> better. I dunno, Jim... maybe you were sold a bill of goods by someone... or maybe you talked with someone who genuinely believed that the echo did them a lot of good, and you took it as a warranty. My guess, though, is that you read the tag name "MODERATOR" from the echolist and thought it might be nice to interact with folks of the same interest. Am I correct in assuming that no one actually promised you anything to induce you to join the echo, and that the dissapointment is based on your own expectations? JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo? I can't, and I don't know if anyone should be expected to. Don't get my wrong... you're welcome here. Well, I'm not the moderator or anyone official, but I think I can say that as one of the folks who speaks up in the echo from time to time. You see, this is just a gathering place of moderators - the moderators aren't required to FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 6 20 Mar 2000 show up and they're not required to offer anything inspirational. So what you get out of it is going to depend on what you put into it. If you're looking for good, strong arguements... pick a fight and see who will accomodate you. Heck, you can probably join one of the ongoing ones with no trouble :) If you're looking for inspiration, try saying something inspirational and see who joins you. If you're looking for tips and techniques, try offering your own or asking specifics. Try nudging the conversation along the lines you want to hear - otherwise there's no reason to keep reading :) ---------- Echomail from Thom LaCosta to Jim Hanoian ---------- JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo? JH> hehe... I've learned to (a) resubmit before expired and (b) do it JH> yourself or you've only got yourself to blame. See ... just those things alone can outweigh all the other things (g). Reading some Fido echoes is very similar to copying morse code signals when the bands are filled with interference(QRM) and static(QRN). It's amazing, but if you really concentrate of the signal you want to hear, the other stuff doesn't seem nearly as loud. Thom LaCosta baltimoremd@baltimoremd.com http://www.baltimoremd.com/ -!- ! Origin: Home of The Other Robot (1:1/21) ---------- Echomail from Kay Shapero to Jim Hanoian ---------- JH> Can you give me any good reason to keep reading this echo? When I joined in it was exactly what you describe in the first paragraph... and frequently it still is. The trick is to ask for advice on something moderation related and watch helpful people come out of the woodwork to assist. The folks doing most of the arguing do it everwhere, not just here, so it's not enough to leave one echo I'm afraid. I wonder if perhaps somewhere in the description of this echo the words "Warning - this is NOT the Supreme Court of FIDOnet." should appear. ! Origin: StormGate Aerie: FILK, BABYLON5 & SFFAN (1:102/524) ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 7 20 Mar 2000 ================================================================= NET HUMOR ================================================================= The Height of Science Thanks to Roy Reed A group of scientists wanted to know the height of a flagpole, so they went out to the pole with ladders and tape measures, and after numerous falls and failures they gave up in exhaustion. About this time along comes an engineer, however, who sees what they're trying to do, walks over to the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the scientists, puts the pole back up and walks away. After the engineer has gone, one of the scientists turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length." ----------------------------------------------------------------- Roadside Check Thanks to Roy Reed This man at the side of the road was fixing his flat tire. A police car stops behind his and the officer strolls to him to offer help. The man says he's doing OK and doesn't need help. The officer takes a walk around the car to make sure everything is OK. He spots a large knife with a fancy handle on the passenger seat. When he enquires about the knife, the man says it's his and he uses it as a juggler at the local circus. The officer then asks him to demonstrate his act to be sure the man is telling the truth, and the man goes through his routine. Meanwhile a car with two recovering alcoholics drives by. The driver says to his passenger, "Man ... I am glad I stopped drinking when I did. It's amazing what they make them do these days at those roadside sobriety checks." ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 8 20 Mar 2000 ================================================================= COMIX IN ASCII ================================================================= +=============================+ | F R E D ' S S A L O O N | (__)| +-----+ | (xx)| | ___ | |(__) \/ | |/=|=\| |(oo) | |==|==| | \/ | |==|==| | ------------------------------------ Cows behind bars ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 9 20 Mar 2000 ================================================================= FIDONEWS INFO ================================================================= Masthead + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- + | | | Editor: Douglas Myers, 1:270/720, DougM@paonline.com | | Webmaster: Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org | | Columnist: Joe Jared, 1:103/0, jarhead@osirusoft.com | | (Fido Via Internet Hubs column) | | Columnist: Warren D. Bonner, 1:103/401, wdbonner@pacbell.net | | (Warren uses the pen name "Ol'WDB") | | Humor: Roy Reed, rcreedv@juno.com | | Features: Frank Vest, 1:124/6308.1 | | | + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- + + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- + | | | Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince | | Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees, | | Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink | | | + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- + "Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA 94141, and are used with permission. Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet. Fidonews is Copyright (C) 2000 by Douglas Myers, though authors retain rights to their contributed articles. Opinion expressed by the authors is strictly their own. Noncommercial duplication and distribution within Fidonet is encouraged. Authors are encouraged to send their articles in ASCII text to Douglas Myers at one of his addresses above. The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS. These sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator. The current and past issues are also available from the following sources: + -- -- -- -- -- -- - FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- + | | | Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:270/720, 1:140/1, or 1:396/1 | | ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/ | | ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/ | | http://www.fidonews.org | | email subscription: majordomo@fidonews.org | | (subject: help body: list) | | ftp mail: ftpmail@fidonews.org (subject: help) | | | + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- + FIDONEWS 17-12 Page 10 20 Mar 2000 -----------------------------------------------------------------