F I D O N E W S Volume 18, Number 06 04 Feb 2001 +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+ | The newsletter of the | ISSN 1198-4589 Published by: | | FidoNet community | "FidoNews" | | _ | 1-714-639-0377 1:1/23 | | / \ | 1-714-532-1586 1:103/301 | | /|oo \ | BinkD supported both above | | (_| /_) | | | _`@/_ \ _ | | | | | \ \\ | Editor: Warren Bonner | | | (*) | \ )) | editor@fidonews.org | | |__U__| / \// | wdbonner@pacbell.net | | _//|| _\ / | | | (_/(_|(____/ | | | (jm) | Newspapers should have no friends. | | | -- JOSEPH PULITZER | +----------------------------+---------------------------------------+ Table of Contents 1. HEADLINE ................................................. 1 *Quote* .................................................. 1 2. ARTICLES ................................................. 2 Net124 has a new Net Coordinator ......................... 2 3. COLUMNS .................................................. 3 >>>Frank's Column<<< ..................................... 3 ........................................................... 4 ........................................................... 6 4. TRUE STORIES ............................................. 8 -=+TRUE+=- ............................................... 8 5. RECIPES .................................................. 9 +++>RECIPES<+++ .......................................... 9 6. GETTING TECHNICAL ........................................ 11 <<<<< Technocal Talk >>>>> ............................... 11 7. POET'S CORNER ............................................ 15 .......................................... 15 8. HUMOR .................................................... 16 *^)=FUNNIES=(^* .......................................... 16 9. NOTICES .................................................. 19 *****NOTICES***** ........................................ 19 10. FIDONET BY INTERNET ..................................... 20 11. FIDONEWS INFORMATION .................................... 25 ***FIDONEWS INFORMATION*** ............................... 25 FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 1 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= HEADLINE ================================================================= Yesterday is a dream, tomorrow but a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore to this day. Sanskrit Proverb ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 2 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= ARTICLES ================================================================= By Frank Vest In a recent event, Bryan Turner was elected to the position of NC for Net124. Bryan replaces Frank Vest who held the NC position for 2 years, being re-elected once. Bryan Turner may be familiar to some as the "face behind the wheel" of Vagabond Software. In his service to Fidonet and BBS in general, he has rescued many of the BBS doors that were abandoned by other authors. In his generosity, Bryan offer many door games to Sysops for the total cost of a postcard sent to him. If you wish to find out about VagabondSoftware, the URL is: http://vagabond.virtualave.net Best of luck to Bryan in his term(s) as N124C. http://texoma.net/~flv http://bise.tzo.com/r19 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From: "Frank Vest" To: "Warren Bonner" Subject: article Date: Saturday, February 03, 2001 9:31 PM _____________________________________________________________________ Region 19 News By Frank Vest In news for Region 19 and good news for Fidonet. Region 19 grew by one Net and some Nodes. Net3821 is back in the Nodelist with Steve Byers as the NC. As we look at the Nodelist we find The Thunderbolt BBS,Little Rock AR,Daryl Stout and The Scoreboard BBS,Little Rock AR,Brad Williams. Region 19's IP net, Net3830 gained Noel Romey in Fayetteville AR., and I believe, Joe Bruchis in Houma LA. It would seem that Arkansas is back on the map in Fidonet Region 19. Amazing thing is, Bill Clinton didn't apply for a Node number. :-)) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 3 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= COLUMNS ================================================================= Rebuttal to post in Fidonews Echo By Frank Vest ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello Warren, It's about time "we" (whoever "we" is) made these lost Nodes and Points aware of the Fidonews Echo. Let's get 'm in here. For my view... The Fidonews Echo is for discussing the articles in the Fidonews publication. The Fidonews Publication is for articles submitted by people in Fidonet (Sysops and Users). To put Echo content into the Fidonews Publication to be hashed in the Fidonews Echo is re-hashing the hash. If a topic is worth discussing in the Fidonews Echo, it should be an article in the Fidonews Publication first and submitted as such to the Editor. If an article is posted in the Fidonews Echo for publication in the Fidonews Publication, put it in there as an article, not quoted material unless it is a rebuttal of an article or post and designated as such with a request to publish the rebuttal in the Fidonews Publication. To use your logic in this... Since "most nodes that read Fidonews don't have the echo on their systems", maybe we should have a Fidonews "Early Edition" that is composed of all the posts in the Fidonews Echo. I really don't think this would work and it's a really bad idea in my view, but it would get the whole thread of the subjects being talked about in the Fidonews Echo to the ones that don't get the Fidonews Echo for one reason or another. Here's a point to consider: If a Fidonews Editor takes the posts from the Fidonews Echo and puts them into the Fidonews Publication, no matter how the posts are formatted or whatever, then why should a Sysop or User bother to write an article for the Fidonews Publication? It will be easier to just post in the Fidonews Echo and have the post published in the Fidonews Publication. Are you, in reality, harming the Fidonews Publication by including posts from the Fidonews Echo? Just my $.02 You can send the change to me later. :-) http://texoma.net/~flv http://bise.tzo.com/r19 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thanks again Frank, for your article and astute insight to the editor's biggest problem. Hope a few articles will arrive now for publication. ED. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 4 5 Feb 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------- -=+Ol' WDB's Column+=- Close your eyes.....and go back in time.... Before the IT, V., Commodore64, Amiga, AppleII, Mac or the Internet. Before semi-automatics and crack, Before SEGA or Super Nintendo... Way back........ I'm talking about hide-and-seek at dusk. The Good Humor man, Red light, green light. The corner store. Hopscotch, butterscotch, double-dutch, jacks, kickball, dodgeball. Mother May I? Simon says... Red Rover, Marco Polo and Roly Poly. Steel wheel skates and Hula Hoops. Running through the sprinkler; The smell of the wet lawn at end of water slide... Wax lips and mustaches! An ice cream cone on a warm summer night; Chocolate or vanilla or strawberry or maybe butter pecan. A Cherry Coke from the soda fountain at the corner drug store. Hopalong Cassidy, Roy Rogers and Gene Autry at the movie house. Later.... Watching Saturday morning cartoons... short commercials... Fat Albert, Road Runner, He-Man, Superman, Green Hornet, The Three Stooges, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Or staying up for Gunsmoke and Ponderosa. Or back further, listening to Jim Braddock & Joe Lewis fight, the search for Wiley Post & Will Rogers plane crash, the derigible from Germany tragedy, Henry Aldrich, and Superman on the radio. When around the corner seemed far away, And going downtown seemed like going Somewhere. A million mosquito bites. Sticky candy fingers. Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Zorro. Climbing trees. Building igloos out of snow banks, parachuting with umbrella off barn roof into Snow bank. Walking to school, no matter what the weather was, (six miles each way, both ways uphill)! Running till you were out of breath. Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt. Saturday night baths in number three wash tub. Going to Church was getting to dress up in "Sunday finery". Jumping on the bed. Pillow fights. Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles. Being tired from playing.... Remember that? Petting ol' "Rover" in the sunshine on the porch... FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 5 5 Feb 2001 Petting kitty at night to see the sparkles of static, Chasing fire flies... The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team. War was a card game, no one ever heard of Hitler or Hirohito. Water balloons were the ultimate weapon. Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle. I'm not finished yet -- eating Kool-aid powder. Remember when... There were only two types of sneakers for girls and boys: Keds & PF Flyers, and the only time you wore them at school was for "Gym." It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends. Going skinny dipping in farmer Jones cattle reservoir When a quarter was a decent allowance, and another quarter was a miracle. When milk went up a penny and everyone talked about it for weeks. When you'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny. When you got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, for free, every time. And you didn't pay for air in the tires. And you got trading stamps to boot! When laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box. When nearly everyone's Mom was at home when the kids got there. When it took five minutes for the TV to warm up, if you had one. When your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces. When it was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb. When it was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents. When girls neither dated nor kissed until late high school, if then. When all of your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done. When any parent could discipline any kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries, and nobody - not even the kid, thought a thing of it. When they threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed ..and did! When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to what awaited a misbehaving student when arriving home. Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of them! Didn't that feel good.. just to go back and say, Yeah, I remember that! Remember when............ FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 6 5 Feb 2001 Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo." Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!" "Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest. Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "Monopoly." The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties. It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event. Having a weapon in school, meant being caught with a slingshot. Nobody was prettier than Mom. Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better. Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin, or Castor oil. Ice cream was considered a basic food group. Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true. New abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog dare you." Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors. If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!! Ol'WDB ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------- +++OPINION COLUMN+++ By: Philip Lozier: I think that if the EDITor sees a thread being pursued here that seems appropriate for inclusion in the newsletter, that rather than include the entire thread, quoted, and requoted at that, that a proper method to follow would be to create an article which explains the general topic of the discussions, provide a -general- overview of the basic context of the responses pro and con to the initial discussion, possibly give an idea of, by the number of respondents to either side, which position seems to be the more popular one, maybe provide on or two quotes from either side that seem to be of extreme relevance to either position, leave it up to the reader to draw conclusions, and ask for any comments from readers to be submitted for review... when comments are submitted, again, don't publish every one, but rather only publish the responses most direct to the subject. Make it a DIGEST of all the input, not just an archive publication of the entire echo. That is just my opinion. Phil ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Good Idea Phil, a DIGEST type format would get around the critics to a degree on the quoting and requoting again by someone else, and sometimes a third time by a third party. That has bothered me in learning how to be a editor rather than being the author of books. In my manuscripts, I don't have this problem. I will work on that FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 7 5 Feb 2001 idea next week's issue. Thanks for the input, you and several others coming forward with pointers are extremely important to me and the Snooze. Ol'wdb ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 8 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= TRUE STORIES ================================================================= What Insect eats Cyanide? Hydrogen cyanide is one of the most toxic substances, so it is no surprise that some plants use it in defense. The cells of tropical passion vines have two kinds of tiny compartments. One kind of compartment contains an enzyme (a protein catalyst), and the other contains a chemical called a cyanogen. When a bug eats a leaf and crushes its cells, the enzyme and the cyanogen mix, forming deadly hydrogen cyanide gas. Yet the caterpillars of the blue Grecian butterfly (Heliconius sara) eat nothing but those same leaves. How do they avoid being poisoned? The secret is in the caterpillar's saliva. It contains special enzymes that quickly attack the cyanogen, changing it so that the cyanide gas is not produced. But the evolutionary arms race is not over, since some passion vines grow sharp hooks that rip open unwary caterpillars. A recent study revealed the caterpillars' secret: http://www.bric.postech.ac.kr/science/97now/00_7now/000713a.html H. sara can be found in Central and South America: http://www.butterflies.org.uk/lbh_home/tropical/costaric/h_sara.htm http://www.rlephoto.com/troplep/Heliconius_sara003s.htm Animals can also use cyanide for defense: http://features.LearningKingdom.com/fact/archive/1998/05/22.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JPL Lab Report on Climate The El Nino and La Nina events of the past few years may have faded into climate history, but the Pacific Ocean has not calmed down. The latest satellite data from the U.S.-French TOPEX/Poseidon mission show that the entire Pacific basin continues to be dominated by the strong and stable Pacific Decadal Oscillation's (PDO) characteristic warm horseshoe and cool wedge pattern. The PDO is a long-term ocean temperature fluctuation of the Pacific Ocean that waxes and wanes approximately every 10 to 20 years. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 9 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= RECIPES ================================================================= By: David Pileggi To: Public Re: R-Shrimp Etouffee ---------------------------------------------------------------------- SHRIMP ETOUFFEE Qty Measurement Ingredient --------------------------------------------------------------------- 1/2 lb butter 2 large onions, chopped 6 cloves garlic 2 stalks celery, chopped 1 cup green bell pepper, cored, seeded, and chopped 1 can (8 oz) tomato sauce 2-1/2 cups shrimp stock 3-1/2 cups fresh tomatoes, peeled and chopped 1 cup green onions, chopped 2 Tbsps sugar 1 Tbsp lemon juice 1-1/2 tsps white pepper 1/2 tsp thyme 1/2 tsp basil 2 dashes Tabasco sauce 1 bay leaf salt (to taste) red pepper (to taste) black pepper (to taste) 3-1/2 lbs shrimp, peeled and deveined (save heads, tail, and shells to make shrimp stock) In a pot, boil the shrimp heads, tails, and shells for 2 hours. Save the water for shrimp stock and discard the shrimps remains. In a black, cast-iron pot, heat the bacon grease. Add the onions, garlic, bell pepper, and celery. Saute the vegetables for 30 minutes. Add the tomato sauce and simmer for 5 minutes longer. Add the shrimp stock and simmer for 10 minutes more. Add the tomatoes, green onions, sugar, lemon juice, white pepper, thyme, basil, Tabasco sauce, bay leaf, and the salt, red pepper, and black pepper, to taste. Simmer for a hour. Add the shrimp and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove the bay leaf and top the creole with the chopped parsley. Serve hot. Recipe from: "Roger's Cajun Cookbook" by Vernon Roger, published FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 10 5 Feb 2001 1987 * Origin: The Underground (1:106/1234) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ By: Florence Thompson To: All Re: Re: From World Wide Recipes ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Florence Thompson FTN-Posted-By: Florence Thompson I'll go get the scissors and cut it out quick. This recipe looks plain delicious, And what I adore is new recipes for All kinds of unusual dishes. I've got 'em for shish-kebob, blintzes and borsch, For goulash and Siamese noodles, For guava souffle and papaya parfait, And oodles for puddings and strudels. I've got 'em in folders, I've got 'em in drawers I read 'em and just can't resist 'em. I cut 'em from ads and from box tops in scads, And someday I'll sort 'em and list 'em. But not at the moment. I'd best stash away This recipe -- gee, it's a dillly! And rustle some chow. H'm-m, let me see, now, Shall I open some soup or some chili? * Origin: Fidonet<->Internet Gateway (1:102/125.99) ~~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 11 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= GETTING TECHNICAL ================================================================= By: Carol Shenkenberger, Shenk's Express (275/100) To: Warren Bonner --------------------------------------------------------------------- I was planning to save this for next week but it's ready now. xxcarol ------------ Edited for Fidonews- 4FEB01 Part 3 of 'how to series' as based on Telegard FAQ series This series is meant to work in tandem with the FAQ1 and FAQ2 posted earlier in Fidonews. Some aspects of the FAQ on 'BBS Security' are implemented in the samples here (ZANSI). ----------- Ok now we have you passing the right errorlevel. Next we see if we can help you optimize your memory needs. Note: This will show only the simplest of optimization. Your exact needs WILL vary depending on your software and hardware. Lets just call it a 'starting point' to work from. This part will show the autoexec.bat and config.sys changes you may need to make it all work together well. It will also show several methods of tossing mail, if you run a tosser other than Gecho. It is based on DOS 5.0, and standard softwares in use by many. I did however delete the VSHIELD referents as many use other versions of scanners today. The BBS example is Telegard to match the earlier 2 FAQ's in the series. Replace the command lines as needed if you run a different software. First, the config.sys file: DEVICE=C:\DOS\HIMEM.SYS DEVICE=C:\DOS\EMM386.EXE NOEMS DOS=HIGH,UMB FILES=60 BUFFERS=50 DEVICEHIGH=C:\DOS\SMARTDRV.SYS /X DEVICEHIGH=X00.SYS E 1 B,0,57600 R=2048 T=1024 DEVICEHIGH=C:\ZANSI.SYS That was it. Make sure the directories match and you run the same files. If for example you use BNU, swap out the entire X00 line with your own. ZANSI if you wonder is an older file that replaces ANSI.SYS and is smaller, faster, and doesnt contain the code to remap a keyboard . If you dont find it locally, you can freq it from 1:275/100 as ZANSI. Note: Do NOT use ZANSI with Desqview or WIN NT or any software which requires re-mapping of the keyboard for proper action. FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 12 5 Feb 2001 Ok time for the Autoexec.bat I think! SET COMSPEC=C:\COMMAND.COM set FD=c:\FD PATH C:\DOS;C:\;C:\FD;C:\TG GE=c:\fd 3 ; gecho specific SET TEMP=C:\TEMP SET TZUDT=-0500 ;FD225 Specific, East Coast Time SET TMP=C:\FD\TEMP ;FD225 Specific VERIFY OFF C:\DOS\APPEND C:\DOS PROMPT $p$g$e[36;44m LH c:\dos\share.exe cd \fd tsmail Now that was the autoexec.bat in generic format. Note: Some doors might require you add the 'protocol directory' to your path line. If so, the door will make note of it in the documentation. External CD-ROM doors and some games are the most common ones to need this. Bet you wonder what that 'tsmail' was right? TSMAIL.BAT is my way of automating repairs to the system when it hangs sporadically on a toss of mail. My husband just reboots the system and it tosses mail again. When it is done, it brings the BBS back up to FD. Here is a copy of it, included just so you can see that you can do all sorts of maintenance on re-booting. AT H1 1 c: cd \fd GEcho Toss -NOMGR GEcho scan GECHO MGR mbutil pack -renumber -link -purge frodo ; your FD batch file Note that this TSMAIL.BAT file is Gecho 1.11+ tosser specific. Here are some command lines for other tossers: -for SQUISH users, SQUISH IN SQUISH OUT SQUASH SQUISH LINK SQPACK C:\TG\MSGS\*.SQD ;should actually be run nightly only frodo ; your FD batch file Notes relevant to SQUISH use. If you have lots of memory, try using SQUISH IN LINK and delete the SQUISH LINK line. It will run faster. SQPACK actually should be moved to a nightly event area vice run at each toss of mail. Some SQUISH users, like to add SQFIX either nightly or at each toss to clear any possible errors in the squish bases. -for FMAIL users Fmail Scan /A /J Fmail Toss /A Fmail Import Note: No Registration required for JAM mode in a non-commercial environment. This example is without the AREAMGR functions activated. -for FASTECHO users CD \FD\FASTECHO FASTECHO TOSS FEUTIL IMPORT FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 13 5 Feb 2001 FASTECHO SCAN FEUTIL PURGE FEUTIL PACK -RENUMBER -JAM FEUTIL LINK -IGNORE frodo ; your FD batch file Example of how to toss filebone with TICK version 2.10 ---Begin TICKOUT.BAT---- Echo Off C: Cd \Fd Tick cd \tg FA2FB -DATE files2tg FB2FA -DATE cd \fd ----end TICKOUT.BAT---- The program files2tg.exe reads the files.bbs type entry created by TICK and uploads it to your TG filebase. Now for the most recent addition to the FAQ set, a simple TIC.CFG file. Note TIC is an older freeware program. It works fine but lacks the frills of the newer simular softwares like ALLFIX. If you are an end user, it will most likely suffice to the needs of your system. ---begin TIC.CFG---- IN C:\Fd\File\ ZONE 1 C:\fd\packet\ NET 275 NODE 100 TZ EST4EDT AREA c:\TG\file\telegard TG_SUP 1:101/321 password * 1:202/323 * * ;downlinks the files to this node AREA c:\tg\file\apps NODEDIFF 1:275/429 password * STOPDUP C:\fd\file\temp\ TEMP C:\Temp FIDO mail c:\fd\Mail\ hold c:\fd\holdtick\ quiet QDIR c:\Temp LineFmt %3:-13 %1 ListName Files.Bbs REPLACE LOGPATH FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 14 5 Feb 2001 NoWait ---end TIC.CFG example---- Note that example was set for zone1, net 275, node 100. You will need to edit it and the paths to match your setups. It is also set to allow files to be deleted if the releaser set it to remove the old versions (Replace option). In TG, this will not remove the entry but it will remove the file itself. Where it says 'password' you place the actual password you and your hub agreed on. If you have no password, place an * in that location. Format is basically: AREA path password handling_codes You can use * for both password and handling_code positions in TICK2.10. Standard names used in FAQ for batch files, and paths, not explained elsewhere in the information. Reminder: You shouldn't actually use these specific names, but once you change them, you need to look over all references in your batch files and in FD/TG to match names to what you actually used as appropriate! C:\TG -- generic name for Telegard main directory. C:\TG\MSGS -- Generic name for TG's main message base. FRODO.BAT -- Generic name for the batch file used to start FrontDoor. TICKOUT.BAT -- Generic name for a batch file to toss inbound filebone to TG. TSMAIL.BAT -- Generic name for a batch file used to manually toss mail. Time for many KUDOS/ BRAVO ZULUS! For overall assistance, Kevin Watkins has been a DREAM! For the idea we needed such at all: Thanks to Martin Pollard for having the old 'How2Mail' file. It helped so many of us, I wanted to try to make something kinda like it for others to use. Comments and critics are WELCOME to reply here or in netmail to me at 1:275/100. xxcarol DPC USN Norfolk TG Beta ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 15 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= POET'S CORNER ================================================================= From: "David Gonzalez" To: "Warren Bonner" --------------------------------------------------------------------- I also like poetry but i'm not familiar with poetry in Eglish, AND i have poems of my own; they're all in Spanish. But i'll translate one of them for you for the fidonews: The Sigh or Breath A sigh is like a kiss; and is a kiss that laments not to find another kiss! When kisses are born in our soul they're born to search... to search for some other kisses, which search for others... but they don't know where those are. And when they don't find each other.. and meet one with another, their delicate scent is consumed in a cry of pain... That painful note is the Sigh that we might heave... and the air of the sigh, is the breath of the kiss that is gone. Kisses are born in my soul, that search for other kisses... and which die just like that, because the kisses they want are yours; save them for me. by David Gonzales That's my brute translation as my romantic English is not very good, i hope you understand what i mean. Dave --- I'm a sucker for poetry and pets too.... Ol'wdb ~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 16 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= HUMOR ================================================================= Little Leroy was at home doing his Math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine". At that moment, his mother comes in and hears what he is saying. "Leroy, what are you doing?! Why are you saying that?!" Little Leroy answered, "I'm doing my Math homework, Mom". She said, "And is that what your teacher taught you?" He replied, "Yes" The next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving, goes to Little Leroy's school to talk to the teacher. The mother said to his Math teacher, "I would like to know what you are teaching my son in Math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition problems." Little Leroy's mother asked, "And... are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" When the teacher stopped laughing she replied. "Not at all! What I taught them was two plus two THE SUM OF WHICH IS four." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Argument: A man and his wife were having an argument in bed. He finally jumped up and took a blanket to the couch. The next day the wife feeling bad about what happened decided to buy her husband a gift, and since he was an avid golfer she went to the pro shop where he usually played golf. She talked with the pro and he suggested a putter and he showed her one of his finest. "How much is it?" she asked. "One hundred and fifty dollars," he replied. She felt that was kind of expensive and told him so. "But it comes with an inscription," he said. "What kind of inscription?" she asked. "Whatever you wish," he explained, "but one of the old golfers favorites is, NEVER UP, NEVER IN.'" "OH, that will never do!" exclaimed the wife. "That's what started the argument in the first place!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE PROCTOLOGIST EXAM A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 17 5 Feb 2001 the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the tools, he noticed there were 3 items on a stand next to the doctor's desk. 1. A tube of K-Y jelly 2. A rubber glove 3. A beer When the doctor finally came in, the man said "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?" At that the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his blonde nurse........ "Nurse! I said A BUTT LIGHT. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop drinking!" Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer! He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking AND cussing!" Still nothing.....and the train was just seconds away! He tried it one more time, "God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit drinking, cussing, smoking and having sex with all the women I meet." Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive out of the way, just as the train passed!... ... He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist and the fourth was a government worker. To show off, the engineer called to his dog. "PC, do your stuff." PC trotted over to a desktop PC, grabbed the mouse in his mouth and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Tax Break, do your stuff." Tax Break went into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the chemist said his dog FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 18 5 Feb 2001 could do better. He called his dog and said "Measure, o your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10-ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 oz. Without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the government worker and said "What can your dog do?" The government worker called to his dog and said coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the computer keyboard, sexually assaulted the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 19 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= NOTICES ================================================================= By: Carol Shenkenberger, Shenk's Express (275/100) To: Warren Bonner Re: Fidonews submission ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The below announcement submitted to Fidonews in accordance with R13 election policy. Minor editing done to line length to fit Fidonews format. Submitted by Carol Shenkenberger for the R13EM per R13POL. From : David Calafrancesco Subject : Notice for R13C election Hello all! This serves as official notice in accordance with our R13 election policy to start the election for RC. This election is to select the next Regional Coordinator, replacing Carol Shenkenberger who is leaving the country in 5 months. The schedule is as follows: Announcement phase Feb 01-Feb 07 Declarations of Candidacy Feb 08-Feb 21 Questions for the candidates Feb 22-Mar 14 Voting phase Mar 15-Mar 28 Results & Challenges Mar 29-Mar 31 If we don't have a clear 50%+1 winner we will move into a second voting/announce phase as a runoff election. Balloting is our usual format: System Node number Sysop Name Vote Password Candidate name If anyone has any questions, now is the time to get them out in th ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 20 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= FIDONET BY INTERNET ================================================================= ------------------------------------------------------ *Fidonet-related sites . -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- . | FIDONET-RELATED SITES | ` -- -- -- -- --- -- -- -- -- ' Last update: December 30, 2000 FidoNet Homepage: http://www.fidonet.org FidoNews: http://www.fidonews.org [HTML] ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/ ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/ Echolist: http://www.baltimoremd.com/echolist/ Echomail links: http://www.osirusoft.com/fidonet/fidoip.html SDS Files: http://fidobbs.dk/download (Web Access to SDS) FTSC page: http://www.ftsc.org/ General: http://www.writebynight.com/fidonet.html Zone 1: http://www.z1.fidonet.org Region 10: http://www.r10.org Net 102 http://home.earthlink.net/~kayshapero/net102.htm Net 103: http://www.webworldinc.com/club103/ Net 203: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/8687/net203index.html Region 11: http://oeonline.com/~garyg/region11/ Net 2410: http://www.vector.11.com/net2410/ Region 12: http://sparkys.dyndns.org Region 13: http://www.net264.org/r13.htm Net 264: http://www.net264.org/ Net 275: http://www.homershut.net/~mahoover/net275/ Region 14: http://www.ouijabrd.com/region14 Net 282: http://www.rxn.com/~net282/ Region 15: Region 16: Region 17: http://www.region17.net Net 140: http://www.nwstar.com/~net140 Region 18: http://techshop.pdn.net/fido/ Region 19: http://bise.tzo.com/r19 Net 124: http://www.dallasinet.com/net124 http://texoma.net/~flv Net 130: http://www.startext.net/homes/net130 Net 393: http://www.chatter.com/~wb/ Zone 2: http://www.z2.fidonet.org ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/zone2 (Z2 nodelists etc.) Region 20: http://www.fidonet.pp.se (in Swedish) Region 23: http://www.fido.dk (in Danish) Region 24: http://www.swb.de/personal/flop/gatebau.html (German) http://www.was-ist-fido.de/ Fido-IP: http://home.nrh.de/fido/ (English/German) FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 21 5 Feb 2001 Region 25: http://www.literary.freeserve.co.uk/net2502/ Region 26: http://www.nemesis.ie REC 26: http://www.nrgsys.com/orb Region 27: http://telematique.org/ft/r27.htm Region 29: http://www.rtfm.be/fidonet/ (French) http://Welcome.to/skynetbbs/ Region 30: http://www.fidonet.ch (German) ? Region 33: http://www.fidoitalia.net (Italian) Region 34: http://www.pobox.com/cnb/r34.htm (Spanish) REC34: http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/4552/ Region 36: http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/7207/ Region 38: http://public.st.carnet.hr/~blagi/bbs/adriam.html Region 41: http://www.fidonet.gr (Greek/English) Region 42: http://www.fido.cz ! Net422: http://www.fido.sk (Slovak/English) Region 50: http://www.fido7.com/ (Russian) Net 5010: http://fido.tu-chel.ac.ru/ (Russian) Net 5015: http://www.fido.nnov.ru/ (Russian) Net 5028: HTTP://5028.nordnet.ru/ Net 5030: http://kenga.ru/fido/ (Russian & English) Net 5049: http://www.n5049.z2.fidonet.org (English/Russian) Net 5074: http://www.z2.n5074.fidonet.net ?? Net 5085: http://www.fidonet.uz/ (Russian) Zone 3: http://www.z3.fidonet.org Zone 4: Region 80: http://fidobrasil.8m.com (Portuguese) Region 90: Net 904: http://members.tripod.com/~net904 (Spanish) Zone 5: http://www.eastcape.co.za/fidonet/ Zone 6: http://www.z6.fidonet.org Region 65: http://www.cfido.com/fidonet/cfidochina.html (Chinese) Fidonet Via Internet Hubs See also: http://www.osirusoft.com/fidoip.html a @ preceding an individual's name implies a virtual email address. The email is translated as follows firstlast@osirusoft.com will automatically route to the appropriate individual's email. Anyone in this list will also receive routed notice of this feature. In my case, it would still be joejared@osirusoft.com, but you get the idea. Also, as information is provided to me, I will be adding a latency field to each node, which is defined as the maximum time between when the message is received, and when it is sent on to other nodes, or available to be sent onward, defined in minutes. A latency of ! implies that there is an immediate response, and an attempt to deliver immediately after processing, or a "MinuteMail System", as it were. FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 22 5 Feb 2001 v-email flag firstnamelastname@osirusoft.com | email address or Node# | Operator | Facilities (*) | Speed,| Basic Rate | | |latency| -----------+-------------------+----------------+-------+------------ Zone 1 | | | | 10/3 | Brenda Donovan | FTP,UUE,BinkP | 384K,30| n/c 10/345 @ Todd Cochrane | FTP,BinkP,VMOT | T1,! | n/c 13/25 @ Jim Balcom | FTP | 56k | $20mo. 18/500 @ Ross Cassell | FTP, BinkP |128K+,!| n/c 19/68 | Ben Ritchey | UUE:BFDS | 33.6k | n/c 103/5 @ Mark Luetger | BinkP | 384k,!| n/c 103/153 @ Michael Box | BinkP | aDSL,!| n/c 103/301 @ Joe Jared | BinkP,FTP,NFS | 384k,!| n/c 103/401 @ Warren Bonner | BinkP | aDSL,!| n/c 105/8 | Russ Johnson | FTP,BinkP,VMoT | 384k | n/c 105/72 @ Larry James | FTP, BinkP | aDSL | $50/yr 106/1 @ Steve Loupe | BinkP, FTP | 128k | ??? 106/6018 | Lawrence Garvin | FTP, VMoT | aDSL,60| n/c 107/453 @ Jeffrey Estevez| FTP,BinkP,VMoT,UUE| 56k,60| $10 mo. 140/1 @ Bob Seaborn | FTP,BinkP | T3,30 | $5/$16 167/133 | Stephen Monteith | BinkP | 128k+ | n/c 211/417 @ Korombos | BinkP,UUE,FTP | T1 | n/c 220/10 | groberts@nexusbbs.net |BinkP,FTP,UUE|1.5M+ | n/c 218/109 @ Matt Munson | BinkP,UUE | 33.6k | n/c 246/160 @ Mason Vye | FTP, UUE | 56K | n/c 249/116 | Carl Austin Bennett | FTP, UUE |ADSL,60 | n/c 280/169 | Brian Greenstreet | FTP | 33.6 | $2mo. 342/3 @ Richard Dodsworth | BinkP,FTP | 128K+ | n/c 395/670 | Arthur Stark | BinkD,FTP | CABLE | n/c 379/1 @ Dale Ross | FTP, BinkP,UUE | 256K+,! n/c 396/1 @ John Souvestre | FTP,VMoT | T1,10 | $5/mo 396/45 | Marc Lewis | UUE | 33.6 | $26/yr 2604/104 @ Jim Mclaughlin | FTP,VMoT,UUE | 33.6 | $1mo 2613/404 @ David Moufarrege | BinkP,FTP,VMoT | 128k+,!| n/c 2624/306 | David Calafrancesco | VMoT | 33.6 | n/c 3407/4 @ jyates@bsdi.ldl.net | UUE,FTP | 28.8 | n/c 3632/84 | Robert Todd |FTP,VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 57.6k | n/c 3651/9 @ Jerry Gause | FTP,VMoT | 33.6 | $3/$6 -------------------------------------------------------------- Zone 2 | 20/11 | Henrik Lindhe | BinkP | ??? | n/c 31/1 | Gabriel Plutzar | BinkP | T1+ | n/c 203/600 | Mikael Karlsson | UUE | 64k | n/c 221/360 @ Tommi Koivula | BinkP,UUE | ??? | n/c 236/205 @ Michael Kaaber | BinkP | ??? | n/c 246/2098 | Volker Imre | BinkP | ??? | n/c 280/1601 @ Jeroen VanDeLeur | FTP,UUE | 64k | n/c 292/620 | Eddy Missoul | VMoT, UUE,BinkP| 64k |N/C 292/624 | Steven Leeman | UUE | 64k | N/C 292/907 | Bart Verhaeghe | BinkP,VMoT,UUE | 64K | n/c 292/2003 | Eric Vaneberck | BinkP | 768k | n/c 301/1 | Peter Witschi | BinkP | 768k | n/c 332/807 | Roberto Mascolo | BinkP | ??? | n/c 335/535 @ Mario Mure | BinkP,VMot,UUE | 64k | n/c 335/610 | Gino Lucrezi | UUE | 33.6 | n/c FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 23 5 Feb 2001 344/201 | Julio Garcia | BinkP | ??? | n/c 346/3 @ Carlos Navarro | UUE | ??? | n/c 382/100 | Sinisa Burina | BinkP,ifcico | ??? | n/c 406/555 | Ofir Michaeli & | BinkP | ??? | n/c 406/555 | Marius Kaizerman | BinkP | ??? | n/c 423/81 | Milos Bajer | BinkP | ??? | n/c 465/204 | Va Milushnikov | BinkP | 33.6k | n/c 469/84 | Max Masyutin | VMoT | 256k | n/c 480/112 | Adam Sarapata| FTP, VMoT, UUE,BinkP| 128k | n/c 550/4077 | Serguei Trouchelle| UUE | ----- | n/c 2411/413 @ Dennis Dittrich | UUE,BinkP | 64k | n/c 2446/301 @ Lothar Behet | BinkP,VMoT,UUE,FTP | 64K | n/c 2474/275 | Christian Emig | UUE | 64k | unkn 5030/115 | Andrey Podkolzin | BinkP | ??? | n/c 5100/8 | Egons Bush | BinkP | ??? | n/c 5020/1159 | Gennady Kudryashoff | UUE | 33.6 | n/c -------------------------------------------------------------- Zone 3 633/260 @ Malcolm Miles | FTP,BinkP | 64K | n/c 640/954 | Rick Van Ruth | FTP,VMot,UUE,BinkP| 56K| n/c 774/605 @ Barry Blackford|BinkP,VMoT:10023,ifcico,FTP |33.6| n/c -------------------------------------------------------------- Zone 4 801/161 @ Renato Zambon | UUE | 33.6 |n/c 905/100 | Fabian Gervan | VMoT,UUE,BinkP | 128k | n/c 902/18 | Javier Tejedor | UUE | 33,6 | n/c -- * FTP = Internet File Transfer Protocol * VMoT = Virtual Mailer over Telnet (various) * UUE = uuencode<->email type transfers * BinkP = front end mailer for TCPIP networks * NFS = Linux Networking ---------------------------------------------- Fidonet oriented news servers news.osirusoft.com news.tardis.net Fidonet oriented chat rooms. room #fidonet 5PM (PDT 11AM GMT) Sundays irc.osirusoft.com (Peers wanted) ---------------------------------------------- Please send updates, corrections and suggestions to Joe Jared, 1:103/301, joejared@osirusoft.com. All email addresses here for purpose of corresponding with fidonet members about obtaining a feed. Improper use of the virtual email addresses, and most especially, email addressed to blockme@relays.osirusoft.com will be considered a request to be blocked by my open relay spam stopper at http://relays.osirusoft.com FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 24 5 Feb 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------- FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 25 5 Feb 2001 ================================================================= FIDONEWS INFORMATION ================================================================= + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- FIDONEWS STAFF - -- -- -- -- -- -- + | | | Editor: Warren D. Bonner, 1:1/23, editor@fidonews.org | | Webmaster: Jim Barchuk, jb@fidonews.org | | Columnist: Joe Jared, 1:103/0, joejared@osirusoft.com | | (Fido Via Internet Hubs column) | | Columnist: Ol' WDB, 1:103/401, fidonews@netscape.net | | Humor: Chuckles & Grins, emailed to editor | | Sites Bio: Frank Vest, 1:124/6308.1 | | (The best site of the week) | + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- + + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- - EDITORS EMERITI - -- -- -- -- -- -- + | | | Tom Jennings, Thom Henderson, Dale Lovell, Vince | | Perriello, Tim Pozar, Sylvia Maxwell, Donald Tees, | | Christopher Baker, Zorch Frezberg, Henk Wolsink, | | Doug Meyers | | | + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- + "Fido", "FidoNet" and the dog-with-diskette are U.S. registered trademarks of Tom Jennings, P.O. Box 410923, San Francisco, CA 94141, and are used with permission. Fidonews is published weekly by and for the members of Fidonet. Fidonews is Copyright (C) 2000 by Warren Bonner, though authors retain rights to their contributed articles. Opinions expressed by theauthors is strictly their own. Noncommercial duplication and distribution within Fidonet is encouraged. Authors are encouraged to send their articles in ASCII text to: Warren Bonner at one of his addresses above. The weekly edition of Fidonews is distributed through the file area FIDONEWS, and is published as echomail in the echo FIDONEWS. These sources are normally available through your Network Coordinator. The current and past issues are also available from the following sources: + -- -- -- -- -- -- - FIDONEWS AVAILABILITY - -- -- -- -- -- -- + | | | Freq FIDONEWS @ 1:140/1, or 1:396/1 | | ftp://ftp.sstar.com/fidonet/fnews/ | | ftp://ftp.nwstar.com/fidonet/fidonews/ | | http://www.fidonews.org | | email subscription: majordomo@fidonews.org | | (subject: help body: list) | | ftp mail: ftpmail@fidonews.org (subject: help) | | | + -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- + FIDONEWS 18-06 Page 26 5 Feb 2001 -----------------------------------------------------------------