___ ___ __ ___ __ ___ | \ |_ | \ |\ /| |_ |\ | /\ / |_ |__/ |__ |_/ | \/ | |__ | \| |~~| \__ |__ | \ | | -=and=- __ // // // // //\\ // // \\ \\ _____ //\ //\\ // \\// //__>> //__// \\ _// ~//~~// \\ // \\ //\\ \\ //~~~~ //~~// \\ ~ // \\ // // \\/ \\ \\// // // // \\ // \\/ \\ \/ /\ __ // // // //\\ //|| || || //|| ||~\\ \\// //\\ //\ //__\\ // || || || //_|| ||_// \\ // \\ // \\ // \\ // || || /| // //~~|| ||~\\ \\// // \\/ \\ //___|| ||//|// // || || \\ \/ \\ ~~~~ submit to you: _______ _________________/ \_________ / F U N \ < R A D I O L O G Y F U N P A G E S > \_________________ F U N _________/ \_______/ \ ___________ / _( )_ - (_ W E E K L Y _) _ (___ ___) / | | | | \ | | | | ____|_|_|_|_____ Number 1 Written by:Abby Hoffman The Dissident Entered in textfile form by:Mr. Pez Kids, the Fun Pages (and whoa-ho, aren't they fun?) are to teach you all basic knowledge of that modern miracle, nuclear power. Now, get your pencils out, and prepare for a brain-teasin' good time! -Mr. Pez 1) Addition. ex. 5 nanocuries + 28 nanocuries= FATAL ex. 3 nanocuries + 5 nanocuries= COOL REMEMBER, 30 NANOCURIES IS HARMFUL! a. 13 nanocuries + 26 nanocuries= b. 20 nanocuries + 21 nanocuries= c. 18 nanocuries + 12 nanocuries= d. 16 nanocuries + 12 nanocuries= e. 38 nanocuries + 147 nanocuries= 2) If the Nuclear Regulatory Comminsion hires six jumpers, how long will each be able to live undisturbed by disease or angry hippie demonstrators? 3) What is the height of Indian Point 2's dome if it is made up of 1,505 inch- thick blocks? 4) If a truck carrying two tons of radioactive waste tips over, spilling the material on the roadbed, how many lanes will be close? How much property will be destroyed? 5) If all of the radiological waste in Elizabeth, New Jersey, is uncovered, how much of the world population will be destroyed? 6) If there is a meltdown, how many rods must be removed in order to stop the chain reaction? 7) Draw lines to complete the following: ANIMAL RUNS THROUGH TURNS THE COLOR Cat Plutonium Red Dog Uranium Green Frog Radium Purple Anteater Thorium Pink Polka-Dot Lou Ferrigno Carbon 14 Silver 8) J M L That scrambled word game! U B E a) ULHSS ( ) _ _ _ ( ) b) RUSHOD _ _ _ ( )( )( ) c) NCOPA _ _ _ ( )( ) d) BROOT ( ) _ _ ( ) _ e) REALC ( )( ) _ _ _ f) MNEU ( ) _ _ ( ) Print answer here: HINT: Adds that extra BANG! in your day ( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( ) ( )( )( )( )( ) ------------------------ --------------- 9) In Houston, a 12 kiloton atom bomb is dropped. How many people will vomit the color green? (not including dogs on heartworm pills) 10) If a cat enters a nuclear power plant, how many lives will it have left after it leaves? 11) Which is safest? a. Working for organized crime b. Eating ptomaine-infected potatos c. Working in an asbestos factory d. Living in Buchanan, New York 12) If all of the plutonium in South Carolina is uncovered, how large a bomb can be made? 13) If a missile is launched with a 45 MPH tailwind, how much time will be saved from the 20 minute flying time? Thank you for answering these questions...they will be graded later for the FUN quotient. In the meantime, why don't you call these boards? The Woodstock Nation..........(914)-___-____ (Abby's board went down, unfortunately, but the SPIRIT of the Nation lives on, right, brothers?) Home of Abby and myself...Every night from 10pm to 6am And, other boards I suggest - ____N_a_m_e______ ___N_u_m_b_e_r__ __Software__ ___S_y_s_o_p_____ _Baudrate_ The Works! ! [914]-238-8195 ! PCBoard ! Jason Scott ! 300/1200 ! The Darque Side ! [408]-245-SPAM ! WaffleNET ! DS^3 Club !3/12/2400 ! Thieve's World ! [616]-344-2718 ! FIDO ! Thomas Covenant ! 300/1200 ! Terrapin Station ! [505]-865-0883 ! AE:TAC ! Count Nibble ! 300/1200 ! The Brewery ! [314]-394-8259 ! WWIV/Forum ! Beer Wolf ! 300/1200 ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ The TextFile Review] ___ ___ __ ___ __ ___ | \ |_ | \ |\ /| |_ |\ | /\ / |_ |__/ |__ |_/ | \/ | |__ | \| |~~| \__ |__ | \ | | -=and=- __ // // // // //\\ // // \\ \\ _____ //\ //\\ // \\// //__>> //__// \\ _// ~//~~// \\ // \\ //\\ \\ //~~~~ //~~// \\ ~ // \\ // // \\/ \\ \\// // // // \\ // \\/ \\ \/ /\ __ // // // //\\ //|| || || //|| ||~\\ \\// //\\ //\ //__\\ // || || || //_|| ||_// \\ // \\ // \\ // \\ // || || /| // //~~|| ||~\\ \\// // \\/ \\ //___|| ||//|// // || || \\ \/ \\ ~~~~ Whoa-ho, it's those... _______ _________________/ \_________ / F U N \ < R A D I O L O G Y F U N P A G E S > \_________________ F U N _________/ \_______/ Number 2 Written by:Abby Hoffman Edited and typed by:Mr. Pez It's that radical fun paper for the whole family! The NEW computer version! I, as Mr. Pez, have decided to type in the works of the great Abby Hoffman in order to gain a few cheap upload credits...but I'm sure you'll enjoy this fine file! As well as the fine board Abby runs, called the Woodstock Nation. (More on that later...) 1) If a metal take-out tray from a Japanese sushi parlor is put in a microwave oven, how much will the magnetron be destroyed? 2) If a one-megaton warhead was dropped over the Empire State Building, how many new customers would Hair Club for Men have after one month? 3) If a hydrogen bomb was dropped over Kentucky, how many radioactive table legs could be made and sold at surplus prices? 4) A meaningful message from Mr. Mouli: Remember, kids, no radioactive materials are allowed on the George Washington Bridge! ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS!! Mr. Mouli is a staff writer, and, although he does nothing but chop vegetables all day, he often contributes a meaningful message to THE PAGES. 5) If a Geiger counter tests all cartons of milk coming from the mid-west, how many will be proved radiologically unfit for America's growing youth because of atomic bomb tests after World War II? 6) If a 12 megaton atomic weapon is dropped on mid-town Manhattan, how much business will Alfred A. Shyster, lawyer on 89th street, lose? 7) Math for pre-schoolers: If an atomic bomb is dropped in the Yukon or North Pole, how many people will be killed? 8) An atomic bomb is dropped in Canajoharie, New York (Small city and home of the Beech-Nut and Life Saver factories.) a. How much will the net profits of Johnson and Johnson's shampoo division and the makers of Adorn and Hair-Net drop? b. How many workers will be laid off? 9) Reading comprehension: TDI (Tesla Designs, Incorporated) is researched a new product. Prototypes have been called the XRM or "X-Ray Magnetron". This new machine is expected to be in 7/11's and AM/PM Mini Marts by next fall. This heavy- duty oven cooks food with X-rays. However, the user must stand at least three to four miles away from the oven. The late-night adventurer will be shielded in a blockhouse buried deep underground and located several miles away from the store. Most convenience stores will be relocated to underground caverns deep below the Earth's crust and far from any population centers. "You can cook a burrito in .5 nanoseconds," says a spokesman from TDI. "However," he continues, "Many fear that all this time saved may rip the fabric of American society to shreds." Remeber to pull that heavy battle armor out of the closets! Remember to never turn your back on the XRM. And please -- Watch the dog! 1) What would be a good title for the story? a. Fun With X-Rays. b. Mr. Tesla At Work. c. A New Way To Cook. d. A Day In The Park. 2) What is the name of the company? a. 7-11. b. TDI. c. Burrito. d. Underground Blockhouse, Inc. 3) What stores will support the XRM? a. All finer stores near you. b. King Kullen and Waldbaum's. c. Most convenience stores. d. 86 Lumber. 4) How quickly will the oven cook? a. Quickly. b. With X-rays. c. Damn fast. d. A nuclear nightmare. 5) Why will most convenience stores be relocated? a. Because nobody wants them in their neighborhood. b. The XRM is very dangerous. c. Because the south-west has been deprived of convenience stores for years. d. A nuclear nightmare. 6) Which of the following does the spokesman from TDI say? a. "...All of this time saved may rip the fabric of American society to shreds." b. "I would like to be a Shakespearian actor." c. "Where may I buy the antiques?" d. "I would like a room with a bath." 10) J M L --That Scrambled Word Game!! U B E 1) OLGBEN _ _ _ _ ( )( ) 2) NGGIO _ ( ) _ ( ) _ 3) RMEKAE ( ) _ ( ) _ _ _ 4) ETARCER (Hint: Not "RETRACE") ( ) _ _ _ ( ) _ _ 5) PNEO _ _ ( ) _ Print answer here: HINT: Makes the modern kitchen ( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( ) Well, Abby only made three of these Pages (the one I didn't do had too many pictures) and I don't know if he'll make more, but why don't you call THE WOODSTOCK NATION and find out? [Ed's note: As I sit shamelessly painting board numbers everywhere and making this a product of my group(s), when I actually wrote it in August or something, I realize that the Nation's down, so don't bother calling it. Well, I'm editing out the number, so you can't anyway. Enjoy the files, it makes the total number of RM/MM files 4 now. Be excited. Be very excited.] Boards where you can savor good conversation with intelligent people: ____N_a_m_e______ ___N_u_m_b_e_r__ __Software__ ___S_y_s_o_p_____ _Baudrate_ The Works! ! [914]-238-8195 ! PCBoard ! Jason Scott ! 300/1200 ! The Darque Side ! [408]-245-SPAM ! WaffleNET ! S Bunker !3/12/2400 ! Thieve's World ! [616]-344-2718 ! FIDO ! Thomas Covenant ! 300/1200 ! Terrapin Station ! [505]-865-0883 ! AE:TAC ! Count Nibble ! 300/1200 ! The Brewery ! [314]-394-8259 ! WWIV/Forum ! Beer Wolf ! 300/1200 ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ The TextFile Review]