# Title: "A Day in the Life of a Shoe Salesman" Date: 9/29/87 The great star cruiser made leaps and bounds throughout the galaxy. Approaching a small, insignificant little blue planet, in the middle of a small, insignificant little solar system, it slowed down. It's onboard computers had picked up a distant FM radio broadcasting "Only In My Dreams." In that alien tounge, the song translated to an advertisement for dual-quad Biosphrellic unleaded Gas (at only 3 Megamoolas a gallon), which the ship was in dire need for. They proceeded to land. Actually, "landing" was more or less a mollecular transfer (a'la "Beam me up, Scotty" ) for this high-tech race. Their engineers had dreamed this up years back in the '60s when watching the "Star Trek" series. Urglm Zaspool, Captain of the ship, gave some not-so-significant orders to a not-so-significant crew (one member of the crew disobeyed orders and warped himself to Galagatron 5, where he made a fortune in the used washing machine industry, but that's another story.) The ship, not having any sort of map or whatnot on this particular planet, just decided to warp down and take it from there. They happened to land in the midst of a large shopping mall. Unfortunately, the size of this great ship was about .024 millimeters in Earth measurements, so they were never able to get out of the vast chamber they were caught in (the inside of a pair of Reeboks in the back of the mall's Pic-Way Shoe Mart). You think YOU have problems. Become a shoe salesman. -:-