GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD
T h e G R E E N Y w o r l d D o m i n a t i o n T a s k F o r c e ,
I n c o r p o r a t e d
Proudly Presents:
TTTTTTTTTT HHH HHH EEEEEEEEEE
T TTTT T HHH HHH EEEEEEEEEE __ __
TTTT HHH HHH EEE ____ //\\ //\\ ___ ____
TTTT HHHHHHHHHH EEEEEE // \\ || `|' || | __| _ |_ _|
TTTT HHHHHHHHHH EEEEEE /| ||==|| || || ||_ // \\ ||
TTTT HHH HHH EEE || || || |/ \| ||__ \\ ||
TTTT HHH HHH EEEEEEEEEE ||__ |/ \| ` ' |___| `\\ \|
TTTTTT HHH HHH EEEEEEEEEE |___| ` ' \\_// '
EEEEE
tt tt fff ii lll E
tt tt ff ff ii ll EEEE V V
tt tt ff ll E V V
tttttt eeeee xx xx tttttt ffffff iiii ll eeeee EEEEE V V EEEEE
tt eee eee xx xx tt ff ii ll eee eee V V E
tt ee ee xxx tt ff ii ll ee ee V EEEE RRRRR
tt eeeeeee x tt ff ii ll eeeeeee E RR RR
tt ee xxx tt ff ii ll ee EEEEE RRRRR
tt tt eee eee xx xx tt tt ff ii ll eee eee RR RR
ttt eeeee xx xx ttt ffff iiii llll eeeee RR RR
________________________________________________________________
.AKA.AK\ The Lamest Textfile Ever, Also Muthafuckin' Known as GwD#100 /KA.AKA.
.AKA.AKA.\ La Feuille Du Texte La Plus Stupide Dans Le Monde, Qui /.AKA.AKA.
.AKA.AKA.AK\____S'appelle_Aussi_La_Centieme_Publication_de_GwD____/KA.AKA.AKA.
GGGGGG DDDDD 111 000000 000000
GGGGGGGG DDDDDD 1111 00000000 00000000
GGGG GGGG DDD DDD 11111 0000 0000 0000 0000
GGG GGG DDD DDD 111111 000 000 000 000
GGG DDD DDD __ __ 1111 000 000 000 000
GGG DDD DDD _| |__| |_ 1111 000 000 000 000
GGG DDD DDD |_ __ _| 1111 000 00 000 000 00 000
GGG GGGGG DDD DDD | | | | 1111 000 00 000 000 00 000
GGG GGGGG ww w ww DDD DDD _| |__| |_ 1111 000 00 000 000 00 000
GGG GGG ww www ww DDD DDD |_ __ _| 1111 000 000 000 000
GGG GGG ww ww ww ww DDD DDD |__| |__| 1111 000 000 000 000
GGG GGG wwww wwww DDD DDD 1111 000 000 000 000
GGGG GGGG ww ww DDD DDD 1111 0000 0000 0000 0000
GGGGGGGG DDDDDD 1111111111 00000000 00000000
GGGGGG DDDDD 1111111111 000000 000000
----- GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime ***** Issue #100 -----
----- release date: 05-25-01 ***** ISSN 1523-1585 -----
--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
Well, here it is. #100. Big fucking deal. Other e-zines get past this point
within a year. It's taken us eight. Why? Because we're fucking lame, that's
why. Anyway, here's the deal with this issue: there's lots of shit in it,
it's super-huge. It's complete with nude ASCII-pics and lots of references to
BBS stuff that won't mean much to people who weren't there. If you hunt, you
might find something that applies to you. Well, it's super huge and won't ever
be completely read by most people. Maybe that's due to the lack of a Table of
Contents, or maybe that's just because nobody ever reads this stuff regardless
of if it's categorized or not. Anyway, check it:
................................................................................
DISCLAIMER: This textfile does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either
myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote
me on anything; all rights reserved; you may distribute this message freely but
you may not make a profit from it; terms are subject to change without notice;
illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual
persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove
this disclaimer under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do
not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions
allowed; for a limited time only; this message is void where prohibited, taxed,
or otherwise restricted; caveat emptor; message is provided "as is" without any
warranties; reader assumes full responsibility; an equal opportunity message; no
shoes, no shirt, no message; quantities are limited while supplies last; if any
defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an
authorized service center; read at your own risk; parental advisory - explicit
lyrics; text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable,
parental guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight; keep away from pets and
small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase
necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not
included; instructions are included; action figures sold separately; no
preservatives added; slippery when wet; safety goggles may be required during
use; sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken; call
before you dig; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external
use only; if rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue
reading; read only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store
in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and
skin and avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120
degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; smoking
this message could be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only
to abstinence, is the use of a condom; no salt, MSG, artificial color or
flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist,
consult a physician; message are ribbed for your pleasure; possible penalties
for early withdrawal; offer valid only at participating sites; slightly higher
west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read;
disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami,
volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage
from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading,
broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers,
electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer
adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an
airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing,
dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest
fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets,
shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha,
Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply.
................................................................................
Uhh, we stole that disclaimer from somewhere, but that just about covers it,
other than the fact that not all instructions apply to all models. Yeah.
--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
-= GREENY world DOMINATION - Reflections On an Acronym, Eight Years Later =-
Perhaps it's not an acronym at all..."gwd" is a Welsh word meaning "twist" or
"turn." Interesting, given the title of our e-zine.
-----
"GREENY" by Lobo Licious
Who the hell is the GREENY person anyway? We've established that He's not
the fellow we originally claimed...so who is He? This, my dr00gs and
dr00gettes, is the Question of the Ages.
It is said that He was born (or will be born; we are unsure if He yet
exists...perhaps our charge is merely to prepare the world for His coming) in or
near the 'city' of Gruene, Texas. He will be a Man, yet He will be from Grene,
so He shall also be More than a Man. Regardless of the form He takes or the
Body he occupies, He *will* be reluctant to rule this planet. Thus, GwD must
force Him into figurehead status and rule in His stead as Regents. Such is the
Plan of Grene, She who is Most High and Mighty and She who lives to dispense the
Lovin'.
GREENY loves the world and its environment (why else would His Mother have
inspired our organization to Dominate it?) and despises polluters and
defilers. The Green Jihad shall come to those who oppose.
FEAR THE GREEN JIHAD, BLASPHEMER, LEST YOU FACE ITS WRATH!
GREENY hates you. Face it, you're nothing special, and He knows it. You
are a worthless pile of slime, as far as He's concerned. Unless you give
lots and lots of money to the cause. Then, He will see you as a useful pile
of slime. Actually, His opinion of you won't change, but our's will, and
since He's a figurehead, He really doesn't matter. Did I say that?
GREENY hates me. He thinks I smell funny.
GREENY hates GwD and everything for which we stand. Take over the world in
His name? "Poppycock!" exlaims GREENY at such a laughable notion.
GREENY hates GREENY; He simply does not want to be Emperor and He hates
Himself for having such a destiny.
GREENY is the Beginning and the End, the Alpha and the Omega (He is also
everything in the Middle, the Gamma, the Delta, the Epsilon, etc.) He is ALL
THINGS, and yet, He is NOTHING. He is NOT the Buddha. He is NOT Jesus. He
is NOT "Bob." He is GREENY. GREENY, damn you, GREENY. Nothing more,
nothing less. Set your standards low, my friends. Expect little and you
will not be disappointed.
Thus it is, thus it was, and thus it shall be. Praise be to Grene. Amen.
And a-women.
-----
"world" by Bob the Master of the World
The "world" in "GREENY world Domination" must be understood correctly if the
phrase in which it is embedded is to be understood correctly. However, the term
is problematic, bearing a number of different meanings. Perhaps "meanings"
suggests an ambiguity that does not really exist in the term; "spheres of
application," though awkward, may be more appropriate. The basic sense, in which
the "world" is equated with Earth, is only one denotation of the term. "World"
is also used to mean everything that comes with the ken of human knowledge;
consequently, the moon is part of our "world," "world" being here conceived in a
fundamentally humanistic sense. Expanding the reference of the term to its
logical limits, metaphysics construes the phrase "the world" as denoting the
"totality of facts" and "all that is the case," as Wittgenstein puts it in the
opening lines of _Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus_.
However, the term also has denotations that are far reduced in scope.
"World" is often employed as the totality of a particular field or sphere of
life. For example, we often speak of the "world of movies," the "world of
science," "the world of prisons," "the world of Droogies," and so on. "World"
can also refer to the totality of an individual's consciousness, a phrase we
commonly attach to those individuals who deviate so drastically from the rest of
society that they are said to reside in a "world of their own." Jean-Paul
Sartre meditates on the disintegration of the individual world by the intrusion
of other consciousnesses in Being and Nothingness: "The appearance of the Other
in the world corresponds therefore to a fixed sliding of the whole universe, to
a decentralization of the world which undermines the centralization which I am
simultaneously effecting." In other words, the presence of the Other forces
onto the individual the knowledge that the world is not his world, that it does
not exist solely within the confines of his consciousness. Ideology has as its
target this "world" of the individual in its attempt to force the individual
into its world.
Which "world" does GwD wish to Dominate? Well, the very fact that the term
is written in lower case would suggest that GwD aims to Dominate the denotations
of the term that are smaller in scope. Of course, this suggestion is consonant
with the ideological nature of GwD, an organization that has consistently placed
thought above action.
-----
"DOMINATION" by Seth the Man
People have two roles in life, Dominator and submissive...
Aww yeah, it's "The End of Death:"
Redd (dba Death) has had a false domination over the living for a long time
(not forever, but for some time before "modern" society)...It's created all the
bad things in the world out of fear...all 'evils' stem from a fear of death...
Anyway, GwD will turn this around. Life will Dominate Death. "After Death was
lost, humanity entered an eternity of celebration, and much was dominated."
And, yay, the word is "lost" and not "destroyed" or "killed" or anything
like that...(cuz there's an obvious paradox in "killing", not that I mind
paradoxes, we couldn't call ourselves a religion without paradoxes but at any
rate, we can't say Death (Redd) died, because there has to be some Redd in
reality to balance it all out...yeah. I'm rambling.)
Bleah. Anyway, just some thoughts I had on the way to work this morning.
I think Domination has always been a part of religion, and that we are probably the
first to openly admit it..
Submit to Grene...or even better...Grene is ready for her spanking...
oi. That's bad.
--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
<- USELESS STATISTICAL NONSENSE ABOUT THIS ISSUE AND GwD IN GENERAL ->
25 = # of hours spent compiling this issue
11379 = # of lines in this issue
65824 = # of words in this issue, as counted by Microsoft Word
480143 = # of characters in this issue, including spaces
324701 = # of characters in this issue, excluding spaces
19 = # gallons of beer consumed by GwD members during the compilation of
this issue
8 = # of years the stuff in this issue spans
5 = # of people who contributed logs/archives of stuff for this issue
(they are Diamondback, Jaffo, Bob the Master of the World, Ratt Fink,
and Lobo Licious)
13 = # of BBSes (some of) this stuff came from
(they are CHAOS, The Snake's Den, Demon Roach Underground, Psycho's
Chiropractic Institute, Neuorchic's Biker Slut Haven, Off World Colony,
Static Line, The Pirate's Cove, Starchy White Boy (SWaB), Club Baby Seal
(cbs), /<ingdom of Shit, and Laqueeda's BBS [we don't remember its name;
Ratt Fink remembers it as "Laqueeda Moron Board"], and Goat Blowers
Anonymous)
2 = # of Area Codes in which these BBSes operated
34 = # of people who've written *entire* issues of GwD
38 = # of mentions of 'Cult of the Dead Cow' or the acronym 'cDc'
(including the two in this sentence) in this issue
33 = # of references to the same as above, in GwD's first 99 issues (
gwd01-gwd99)
8 = # of issues containing these 33 references
0 = # of references to GwD in issues of cDc
3 = # of GwD issues released before Lobo Licious bothered to read them (he
just slapped the header and footer on them and uploaded them)
3 = # of STAR TREK references in this issue, including this one
4 = # of ASCII-renderings of "flipping off" in this issue
6 = # of ASCII-renderings of nude or scantily clad females in this issue
13 = # of references to nude or scantily clad females, including this stat
and the stat directly above it
--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
-= GwDwarez Stuff =-
The following is a message and a bunch of shit from GwDwarez. Contrary to what
you may think (or even what you may have been led to believe), GwDwarez and
GwD Publications ARE NOT the same thing. They are both subsidiaries of the
conglomerate that is GwD, Inc. Thus, the information given below is attributed
to GwDwarez, so GwD Publications holds no responsibility if the info is
accurate or not. Yeah.
"So, like, it's time to jump on the open source bandwagon. Sure, nobody would
ever want to update or change any of our programs, because they ROCK SERIOUS
NADS, but alas, here's the source codes for a few of them. Uhh, if you can
find a TurboPascal compiler, these should work. Cut-and-paste, my friends,
cut-and-paste. This code is available under the GNU public license, I think.
Something like that, anyway. Edit it, make it better. That shouldn't be hard.
Keep us in the loop; let us know what killer updates you make. Yes. No profits
from this code, please, unless you give us a cut. Not that this will ever be an
issue...
Umm, if any of these fuck anything up when you run them, we're not liable; they
are being distributed error-free and any errors caused upon compiling are not
the fault of GwDwarez, GwD Publications, or GwD, Inc., nor are they the fault of
any member or officer thereof.
Why are only a few of the GwDwarez being made open source (5 to 7 years after
being released)? Well, the other programs use proprietary technology and so
their source cannot be made publicly available at this time. Executable versions
of these programs (as well as many other lame-ass GwDwares are available for
free download at http://www.GREENY.org/warez/warez.html.
Provided here, if available, are the documentation and file_id.diz for each of
the GwDwarez. Many of them are distributed without docs...go to
http://www.GREENY.org/warez/ to test the executables for yourself, even the
ones that aren't opensource...yay!
Enjoy."
-----
"GwD_1 Source Code" by Lobo Licious, 1994
program GWD_WARE1 (input, output);
uses
crt;
var
X1, X2, Y1, Y2, M, B : real;
begin
writeln;
writeln(' The Awesome Slope Finder Thing!');
writeln(' ver. 1.61');
writeln(' A GwDware');
writeln;
writeln('This program is really lame. It finds the slope and y-intercept of a
line when');
writeln('it is given 2 points. The slope and y-intercept are limited to two
decimal');
writeln('places.');
writeln(' Enjoy!');
writeln;
write('Enter the "x" of the first coordinate: ');
readln(X1);
write('Enter the "y" of the first coordinate: ');
readln(Y1);
write('Enter the "x" of the second coordinate: ');
readln(X2);
write('Enter the "y" of the second coordinate: ');
readln(Y2);
writeln;
writeln(' Okay, here they are:');
writeln;
if X1 = X2 then begin;
writeln('Undefined Slope. No Y-Intercept.');
writeln; writeln;
writeln(' As you can see, this program is really useful. Heh.');
writeln;
writeln(' copyright (c) 1994 by Lobo and GwD Inc. La-dee-dah. 8-)');
writeln(' ************ GwDwarez, the Wave of the Future! ************');
end;
if X1 <> X2 then begin;
M := (Y2 - Y1) / (X2 - X1);
writeln('Slope = ',M:8:2);
B := Y1 - M * X1;
writeln('Y-Intercept = ',B:8:2);
writeln; writeln;
writeln(' As you can see, this program is really useful. Heh.');
writeln;
writeln(' copyright (c) 1994 by Lobo and GwD Inc. La-dee-dah. 8-)');
writeln(' ************ GwDwarez, the Wave of the Future! ************');
end;
end.
-----
"file_id.diz from GwD_2.ZIP" by Seth The Man, 1994
Release number 2 from GwD Incorporated.
Give a choice of running certain commands or not
in a batch file. Long Live Greeny
---
"Documentation for GwD_2.EXE" by Seth The Man, 1994
_________ _______ ______
///______-_ | \ / \
/// -_| | ___ | / /---/ /
/// | | \ | / / / /
/// | | | | \/ / /
/// ____ __ __ | | | | / /
/// / __ \\\\ ____ /// | | | | / /
/// \/ || \\\ ///\\\ /// | |__/ | / /
\\\_______|| \\\ /// \\\ /// | | _________ / \-----\
\-________| \_\/_/ \_\/_/ |______/ |_______| \_______/
Well here is my ware that I decided to distribute.
I have a version of this running in my autoexec.bat to use 50 line mode
and to use a faster repeat rate (it helps because I type faster...)
because my Dad's can't read anything in 50 line mode, so now it allows
me to use it when I get on without having to type all the commands in,
and it allows my Dad to not have to call me in from across the house
to change to big and slow for him...
Anyway, this is my first attempt at writing in C++ and it was compiled
on a demo version of Zortech C++ that I got with my C++ book "Learning
C++" by Tom Swan. To use this program, just patch in the sample.bat file
into any batch that you want to use this in, and stick the executable in
a directory that's handy for the batch you are running...usually
somewhere in your path, but not always... Be sure and alter the sample
batch to run whatever commands you want, the batch file is pretty
self-explanatory.
Have fun with this ware.
If something goes wrong, I didn't do it. You did.
Copyright 1994 by GwD Incorporated and STM Enterprises. All rights
reserved to 'dat GREEN d00d.
-----
"file_id.diz from GwD_3.ZIP" by Lobo Licious, 1994
GwDware Number 3
Find your age as a factor of someone
else's. That is, find when you will
be a certain part of someone's age.
Long Live Greeny! Porno!
---
"Documentation for GwD_3.EXE" by Lobo Licious, 1994
________ _______ ______
///______-_ | \ / \
/// -_| | ___ | /_/---| |
/// | | \ | | |
/// | | | | __/ /
/// ____ __ __ | | | | |__ |
/// / __ \\\\ ____ /// | | | | \ \
/// \/ || \\\ ///\\\ /// | |__/ | | |
\\\_______|| \\\ /// \\\ /// | | _________ / \---| |
\-________| \_\/_/ \_\/_/ |______/ |_______| \_______/
The Hyper-Rad Age Factor Finder
ver. 1.27b
GwDware #3
DIRECTIONS: Type GWD_3 in the directory you have the file in (duh). Whenever
you are asked for a number (ie. the year, a person's age) enter a
number. Self-explanatory. If you enter the age of the oldest
person first, the program will still execute, but you won't like
what it does 8-). When asked for a factor, pick a number, (like
'2'). The program will then express the ages in factors of the
number entered and tell the year those factors will be correct.
For instance, to find out when you will be exactly half the age of
someone else. Entering '2' as the factor would do this. I know it
doesn't make much sense, but trust me.
Well, this is a really silly program that will tell the year in which two people
will be certain factors of each others' ages, or something like that. I wrote
this one day when i was really bored, so don't whine about its lameness.
GWD_3 was written in Turbo Pascal, and I copied it from my Algebra book. Of
course, in the book, the program was in BASIC (woo woo), so I at least had the
decency to translate it from a dead language. I also added some stuff, so it's
not really plagiarized. Blah. Anyway, have fun with it.
(note: GWD_1 was also copied from my Algebra book and converted into TP from
BASIC. I am so damn cool.)
copyright (c) 1994 by Lobo and GwDwarez, a part of GwD Inc.
************ GwDwarez, the Warez of the Future! ************
---
"GwD_3 Source Code" by Lobo Licious, 1994
program AGE_FACTORS (input, output);
uses
crt;
var
ford, chevy, dodge, jeep, olds, vw, bmw : real;
begin
writeln('GWD_3.EXE'); writeln;
write('Enter Current Year: ');
readln(ford);
write('Enter Age of Older Person: ');
readln(dodge);
write('Enter Age of Younger Person: ');
readln(chevy);
write('Enter Factor: ');
readln(jeep);
if (chevy > dodge)
then begin
writeln; writeln('Aren`t we silly? The *oldest* person`s age is first.
St00pid. Try again.');
writeln; writeln('This has been "GWD_3.EXE", a production of GwDwarez.');
writeln('Copyright 1994 by GwDwarez, a division of GwD Incorporated.');
end;
if (chevy = dodge)
then begin
writeln; writeln('Now, now. Those people are the same age. Try again, d0rk.');
writeln; writeln('This has been "GWD_3.EXE", a production of GwDwarez.');
writeln('Copyright 1994 by GwDwarez, a division of GwD Incorporated.');
end;
if dodge > chevy then
begin
bmw := (dodge - chevy) * (jeep - 1);
vw := bmw + dodge - chevy;
olds := ford - dodge + vw;
writeln; writeln('Year Older Younger');
writeln;
writeln(olds:3:0,' ',vw:3:0,' ',bmw:3:0);
writeln; writeln('This has been "GWD_3.EXE", a production of GwDwarez.');
writeln('Copyright (c) 1994 by GwDwarez, a division of GwD Incorporated.');
end;
end.
-----
"GwDPAC Source Code" by Lasher, 1996
uses crt,graph;
var
Gd, Gm: Integer;
x,y:integer;
tx,ty:integer;
i,j:integer;
clm:integer;
begin
Gd := Detect;
InitGraph(Gd, Gm, ' ');
if GraphResult <> grOk then
Halt(1);
x:=getmaxx;
y:=getmaxy;
clm:=getmaxcolor;
settextstyle(defaultfont,horizdir,2);
begin
for i:=0 to 14 do
begin
setcolor(red);
outtextxy(0+(i*60),y div 2-10,'Redd');
delay(40);
end;
for i:= 1 to 14 do
begin
setbkcolor(black);
setfillstyle(solidfill,green);
PieSlice(20+(I*50),y div 2,10, 355, 100);
setcolor(black);
outtextxy(30+(I*50),y div 2-60,'GwD');
delay(35);
setfillstyle(solidfill,black);
PieSlice(20+(I*50),y div 2,10, 355, 100);
setbkcolor(black);
setfillstyle(solidfill,green);
PieSlice(30+(I*50),y div 2,30, 335, 100);
setcolor(black);
outtextxy(40+(I*50),y div 2-60,'GwD');
delay(35);
setfillstyle(solidfill,black);
PieSlice(30+(I*50),y div 2,30, 335, 100);
outtextxy(50*(I*60),y div 2-10,'Redd');
delay(100);
end;
for i := 1 to 10 do
begin
cleardevice;
setcolor(green);
SetTextJustify(CenterText, CenterText);
SetTextStyle(defaultfont, horizdir, i);
OutTextXY(320, Y-(i*18), 'Rokks!');
OutTextXY(320, 0+ (i*20) , 'GwD');
end;
delay(500);
end;
closegraph;
end.
-----
"GwD_AD Source Code" by Lasher and Lobo Licious, 1996
program GwD_ad;
uses crt,graph;
const
Gray50 : FillPatternType = ($AA, $55, $AA,
$55, $AA, $55, $AA, $55);
var lcv,count,count2,color,x1,y1,lcv2,
Gd, Gm,
x,y,
xm,
ym,
ri,i,j,
clm:integer;
angst:string;
procedure open_screen;
begin
clrscr;
gotoxy(1,24);
textcolor(10);
writeln(' G D');
delay(150);
writeln(' GG DD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGG DDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGGGGG DDDDDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG w w w DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGGG GGGGGGGGG w w w w DDDD DDDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GGGGGGGGG w w DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GGGG w w DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGGGGG DDDDDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGGGG DDDDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GGG DDD');
delay(150);
writeln(' GG DD');
delay(150);
write(' G D');
delay(500);
end;
procedure decrypt(var anus:string);
var i,x:integer; q:char;
begin
for i:=1 to length(anus)do
begin
q:=anus[i];
for x:=1 to 5 do
q:=pred(q);
anus[i]:=q;
end;
end;
procedure legal_stuff;
var str:string;
begin
textcolor(2);
str:='%%%L|I%2%Fi{jwynxjrjsy%2%Ktw%Uwtrtyntsfq%Uzwutxjx%Tsq~%2%Fi{jwynxjrjsy%2%L
|I';
decrypt(str);
writeln(str);
str:='%%%%%%%Ymj%Fi{jwynxjrjsy%~tz%ozxy%xf|%nx%f%uwtizhynts%tk%L|I1%Nsh3%|mt%
nx';
decrypt(str);
writeln(str);
str:='%%%%%%%%%xtqjq~%wjxutsxngqj%ktw%nyx%htsyjsy3%%Ymj%fsxn2xy~qj%ufwyx%|jwj';
decrypt(str);
writeln(str);
str:='%%%%%%%%%%%%%%htiji%g~%Qtgt%fsi%ymj%lwfumnhx%|jwj%htiji%g~%Qfxmjw3';
decrypt(str);
writeln(str);
str:='%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%L|I%2%htu~wnlmy%-h.%6>>;%g~%L|I1%Nsh3%2%L|I';
decrypt(str);
writeln(str);
textcolor(7);
end;
procedure po_box(color:integer);
var str:string;
begin
textcolor(color);
gotoxy(30,12);
str:='L|I1%Nsh3';
decrypt(str);
writeln(str);
gotoxy(30,13);
str:='U3T3%Gt}%6;58=';
decrypt(str);
writeln(str);
gotoxy(30,14);
str:='Qzggthp1%Yj}fx%<>9>5';
decrypt(str);
writeln(str);
delay(10);
end;
procedure top(x1,y1:integer);
begin
randomize;
angst:='%%202%L|I%202%ymj%lwjjs~%|twqi%itrnsfynts%yfxp%ktwhj1%nshtwutwfyji%202%L|I%
202';
decrypt(angst);
count:=1;
gotoxy(x1,y1);
for lcv:=1 to length(angst) do
begin
count:=random(1000)+1;
color:=random(15)+1;
if color=4 then color:=2;
if color=12 then color:=10;
textcolor(color);
if angst[lcv-1]='G' then write(angst[lcv])
else
if count mod 2 = 0 then write(angst[lcv])
else write(upcase(angst[lcv]));
end;
writeln;
end;
procedure scroll(var x1,y1:integer);
begin
top(x1,y1);
delay(100);
end;
procedure open_crap;
var str:string;
begin
clrscr;
gotoxy(26,24);
textcolor(2);
str:='LW88S^%qnp8x%rfxm8i%u5yfy58x';
decrypt(str);
write(str);
x1:=1;
y1:=1;
repeat
count2:=0;
repeat
scroll(x1,y1);
inc(count2);
until count2=15;
textcolor(0);
gotoxy(1,y1);
writeln(angst);
inc(y1);
until y1=24;
end;
procedure grrr;
begin
clrscr;
po_box(0);
delay(150);
po_box(8);
delay(150);
po_box(7);
delay(150);
po_box(15);
delay(150);
po_box(7);
delay(150);
po_box(8);
delay(150);
po_box(0);
delay(150);
po_box(2);
delay(150);
po_box(10);
delay(150);
po_box(15);
delay(150);
po_box(10);
delay(150);
po_box(2);
delay(150);
po_box(0);
delay(150);
po_box(8);
delay(150);
po_box(7);
delay(150);
po_box(15);
delay(150);
po_box(7);
delay(150);
po_box(8);
delay(150);
po_box(0);
textcolor(7);
clrscr;
end;
procedure cool;
var str:string;
begin
str:='L|I';
decrypt(str);
lcv2:=0;
Gd := Detect;
InitGraph(Gd, Gm, ' ');
if GraphResult <> grOk then
Halt(1);
x:=0;
y:=0;
ym:=getmaxy;
xm:=getmaxx;
clm:=getmaxcolor;
repeat
cleardevice;
for j:=1 to 10 do
for i:=-1 to 360 do
begin
if j mod 2 =0 then
setcolor(2)
else if j mod 2<>0 then
setcolor(4);
PieSlice(xm div 2,ym div 2,0, i, -i);
end;
for i := 1 to 10 do
begin
cleardevice;
setcolor(green);
SetTextJustify(CenterText, CenterText);
SetTextStyle(defaultfont, horizdir, i);
OutTextXY(xm div 2, Ym-(i*24),str);
OutTextXY(320, 0+ (i*24) ,str);
outtextxy(32*10,ym div 2,str);
outtextxy(xm-(i*32),ym div 2,str);
outtextxy(0+(i*32),ym div 2,str);
outtextxy(xm div 2, ym div 2,str);
delay(50);
end;
inc(lcv2);
until lcv2=3;
cleardevice;
for i:= 1 to 200 do
begin
delay(1);
putpixel(xm div 2, ym div 2-1+i,white);
putpixel(xm div 2,ym div 2+1-i,white);
end;
for i := 200 downto 1 do
begin
delay(1);
putpixel(xm div 2,ym div 2-i,black);
putpixel(xm div 2,ym div 2+i,black);
end;
for i:= 1 to 300 do
begin
putpixel(xm div 2 +i, ym div 2, white);
putpixel(xm div 2 - i ,ym div 2,white);
end;
delay(20);
cleardevice;
closegraph;
end;
begin
open_screen;
open_crap;
cool;
delay(700);
grrr;
legal_stuff;
gotoxy(1,15);
end.
-----
"GwD DOS Wallpaper Documentation"
here we go again, another creation from the bored mind of Bill Hooper...
-=[---------------------------------------------------------]=-
氨槽 A Presentation From Those Crazy Guys 鄄卑
氨槽 At 鄄卑
氨槽 Bill & Lobo's Hyper Elite Programmers Guild 鄄卑
氨槽 In Association With 鄄卑
氨槽 The Greeny world Domination Taskforce 鄄卑
氨槽 鄄卑
氨槽 GwD MS-DOS Wallpaper! 鄄卑
氨槽 鄄卑
氨槽 Programmer : [ Bill Hooper ] 鄄卑
氨槽 Program : [ GwD DOS Wallpaper ] 鄄卑
氨槽 Version : 1.0 鄄卑
氨槽 Date : 08-15-97 鄄卑
氨槽 Type : TSR 鄄卑
氨槽 OS : works in Win95/98 DOS 鄄卑
氨槽 mode, as well as DOS 鄄卑
氨槽 windows 鄄卑
-=[---------------------------------------------------------]=-
[Disclaimer]
You are using this program at your own risk.
If you received an originally packaged copy, it is most likely virus
free. Although we try to keep our computers clean, the possibilities of virii
is real. We are not responsible for any virulent code that accompanies this
program.
This program has undergone basic testing on our own computer systems,
or systems that we are familiar with. This program will not, to our
knowledge, cause any damage to a standard IBM compatible running MS-DOS 5.0
or later. If this program does cause any damage to your system, it's not
our fault.
We make no guarantees that this program will function as described
on your own computer system. This is something that we do in our spare time,
don't expect much. We will do our best, but we aren't close to professional,
and are just entering college.
Bill and Lobo's Hyper Elite Programmer's Guild, and The Greeny world
Domination Taskforce are not responsible for any damages resulting from
the use of this program.
[Intro]
Yep. Here we go again. Another little proggie(well, not another if
you haven't been privileged enough to see the first few). This program
continues in the tradition of Disk Access, and Number Crap, and all other
BLHEPG releases, with a new twist. Unlike most of our programs, this was
written outside of Charby's CS class. This program comes to you from Bill
Hooper's trip to Asia(India to be specific).
[Description]
This program gives your DOS screen a small GwD logo in the upper,
right hand corner. Due to the magical abilities of the TSR(Terminate
Stay Resident), this logo will remain on screen through all DOS applications
that use a normal 25X80 ASCII screen. It's a simple program written very
quickly and inefficiently.
[Instructions]
Hmm.. Run the exe (GWDLOGO.EXE). Yeah, that's about all there is
to it. At the command prompt, type GWDLOGO. You can't unload this version
from memory, wah. If, for some unknown reason, you want to remove the
beautiful logo from your screen, reboot the computer if in DOS mode or
close the DOS window, if that's what you're using.
[Known Bugs, etc..]
What this program does is basically write directly to video memory,
changing the background attribute of a certain area of the screen in a
specified pattern. When the screen scrolls, that background also scrolls.
This action creates a problem. To keep the display from screwing up, I have
the program reset the attribute of all surrounding characters to a cyan
foreground and black background. This is the reason that it's not too pretty
when in DOS Edit, or some other ANSI GUI interface program. If you have any
good ideas on how to get around this problem, I'd love to hear.
This program has undergone cursory testing. There are no guarantees
that it will work on your computer system or with all of your computer
programs. TSRs are not friendly things to program or play with. If you have
any specific questions, email me.
[Plans]
I might add some new stuff if I ever get a new version out. Dunno.
If there's anything that you would like to see in the program, please, don't
hesitate to ask..
[Stuff]
If you need anything custom programmed, you can contact us. Although
it may not be apparent, we really can program worthwhile stuff if we have
to. The stuff we release is just for the hell of it. Bill Hooper is an
entering freshman at MIT, Lobo is an entering freshman at Texas Tech
University. They are both planning to major in Computer and Electronics
type subject. We work for cheap depending on the project. We do stuff in
HTML, Delphi, C++, Pascal, C++ Builder. We're currently learning
Java/JavaScript, Perl, and other things. Dunno. If you're interested, contact
us.
[Greetz]
A special thanks goes out to those that have taken the time to answer
my questions on IRC(too many to list). If you like this program, please take
the time to help out at least 5 people on IRC, and encourage them to do the
same. It really pisses me off when people pull that "holier than thou" shit.
Ebonics is silly too. Especially when white people use it(That's personal
though).
[Contacts]
In the current day of the "information super highway", "infobahn",
or whatever silly euphemism you want to use for the internet, it's easy to
contact us. If you have any nice questions or comments, don't hesitate
to drop us a line. Membership in BLHEPG is exactly what it says, Hyper-Elite.
There are no members other than Bill and Lobo. Period.
If you have any questions or comments about GwD, see their contact
section.
----=[Bill and Lobo's Hyper Elite Programmers Guild Contacts]=----
--Name-- --Email-- --Affiliations--
Bill Hooper kn@kisi.com GwD/BLHEPG/GW
Lobo Licious lobolicious@cyberdude.com GwD/BLHEPG
----=[Greeny World Domination Taskforce Contacts]=----
--Name-- --Email--
Seth The Man seththeman@cyberdude.com
Lobo Licious lobolicious@cyberdude.com
wow. this is a long set of docs for a simple program. let that be a lesson
of what boredom does to you.
copyright GwD 1997
--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
-= What They're Saying... =-
...About GwD in general:
"This [GwD] is a fine group that I associate with (I haven't ever written for
them [uhh, yeah you have], but I know most of the guys who founded it). It's
a zany bunch of young, angst-ridden anarchists from a lovely place called
Lubbock, Texas" - Kilroy
"GwD is the single greatest fighting force ever assembled." - Saddam Hussein
"Yea! Greeny world Domination rocks! whee.. fun fun. This textfile group is
'hot'." - Bill Hooper
...About _GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime_
"This [GwD98] is one of the greatest t-files ever." - Grandmaster Ratte'
"A collection of text files written by some of my best buddies in Lubbock. If
you were into computers during your teen years, this zine will bring back
great memories." - NetLegend Jaffo's List'o'links
"Some of the finest t-files to date, yet also some of the shittiest...if only
they'd choose quality OR quantity to focus on, instead of neither...100 files
in eight years is nothing to scream about, especially since more than half of
them suck...it sure keeps us guessing, though." - Ratt Fink
"cDc who? GwD burst onto the textfile scene in 1993 and has KICKED ASS ever
since." - Commodore Schmidlap
...About GwDweb and/or The world Domination PlayStation:
"Review
Site: The world Domination PlayStation
Rating: 4 URL: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/2334/
This site has plenty of colour and some good graphics. It is an e-zine known
as 'GwD: The American Dream with a Twist of Lime'. A different site to check
out." - Webnet Webratings
The world Domination PlayStation was given 3 bananas out of 5 by the Worth A
Peek Awards
The Inkpot Zine List includes GwDweb and gets both our name AND our (main)
publication's name correct! [Believe it or not, this is a rarity, even among
members of our group.]
...About [Bill Hooper's] Humor List:
"I woke up today and had lost my will to live. When i checked my email and
saw your awsome list I changed my mind and decided to go harvest wheat
instead! Thank You!" - Anonymous List Member
"bill, your humor is offending me. I can't take it. I'm going to kill myself
and it will be your fault!" - Justin [List Member]
"Hey! Just a note to tell you how much I look forward to your lists. Keep up
the good work. I take all my lists to my church and share the humor...They
don't talk to me much any more." - Jim [List Member]
--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
-= Cool Stuff 2 =-
As promised in GwD50, this is the second installment of Cool Stuff. Man, oh
man, it's LOTS OF FUN!!!
-----
"Ignorance vs. Thoughtlessness" by Seth The Man
I was getting food last night at Schlotzsky's and parked next to a car
with an Ani DiFranco sticker. I was looking at the sticker (I'm a big Ani fan)
and noticed another one underneath it that said "Ignorance is Typical". I
didn't like the tone of that sticker very much and I was thinking about why this
was. I think it's kind of a hypocritical. So much is chalked up to ignorance,
when really, ignorance is not the root of any problem, it only points to the
real problem, thoughtlessness. Lack of Knowledge holds no sin of itself. It is
the problem of not wanting to pursue the knowledge needed to create an informed
opinion or decision that is the real problem. The attitude of falling back to
preset beliefs, without conscious consideration of the issue, through laziness
or faith, is what the real problem is. The sticker is as guilty of this mistake
as any racist or zealot.
-----
Date: 1:34 am Tue Jan 24, 1995 Number : 51 of 53
From: Psychosomatic Illusion Base : Negative Net Exports...sounds
To : Kasdfmasdfjaisdfj Refer #: None
Subj: immature name calling! Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Take this! hah!
IceHouse!
The Red Dog!
hah! I called you a BEER! hahahah!
im so fucking k33n. hah!
hah! hhahahah!
p$i
-----
"Rat"
Rats are soooo much fun!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx __
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx// \
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx((_ )x
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_xxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx(o)xxxxxxx
rrxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo
rrrxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx/|\xx/
rrrrxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx__/x| \
rrr xwxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
rrr wwwxxxxxxxxx .. xwwww...
rrr wwwxxxxxxx . www ..
rrr wwwww ..... ====...
rrr =========
rrr
'rr._
''rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
-----
"Super Villain" by Yancey Slide
This isn't finished - in fact, I only just started. But I'm working on poetry
now:
They call me super-villain
But what do they know?
Maybe I'm not (so) super.
I'll show them all, someday.
Show them all I'm not mad
Just very angry.
I'd have shown them all already
If not for interlopers
Interfering super-pants.
Why should they care
If I taint the reservoir?
I have a job to do.
And who are they
To bust up my lab?
Damned vigilantes.
-----
Date: 11:10 am Tue Feb 27, 1996 Number : 29 of 46
From: Diamondback Base : Private Mail
To : Psycho Smurf Refer #: None
Subj: Whee! Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Ok. I'll keep this mass-mail short n' simple.
This weekend(Friday 3/1 thru Sunday 3/3) is another netgame party. Rockin'
stuff. Things to bring if at all possible:
-- 486 with 8M ram or better machines are needed. No 'puters=no games. If you
have a keen computer(s), bring 'em. Don't forget your power strip.
-- Games. Any network playable games that you think the rest of us might not
have, bring it. We may just play it.
-- Netcards. If you have some cards or cable, bring it just in case. I already
have 12 cards, but more is better.
-- Munchies. Cokes. Chips. Whatever. If we all pitch in, we can munch away the
whole time we're gaming.
This thing may flop, with only 7-8 people, or it may be huge with 16 or more
folks. Depends on how many of YOU show up. Heh.
Also, as long as I'm into the public announcement thing......March 17th(St.
Patty's Day) is a Sunday and is 1/2 price indoor paintball.
April 6th is paintball, but with easter eggs filled with small prizes out on
the field for you to grab while you play. Heh.
I guess that's it.
-----
8888 8888888
888888888888888888888888
8888:::8888888888888888888888888
8888::::::8888888888888888888888888888
88::::::::888:::8888888888888888888888888
88888888::::8:::::::::::88888888888888888888
888 8::888888::::::::::::::::::88888888888 888
88::::88888888::::m::::::::::88888888888 8
888888888888888888:M:::::::::::8888888888888
88888888888888888888::::::::::::M88888888888888
8888888888888888888888:::::::::M8888888888888888
8888888888888888888888:::::::M888888888888888888
8888888888888888::88888::::::M88888888888888888888
88888888888888888:::88888:::::M888888888888888 8888
88888888888888888:::88888::::M::;o*M*o;888888888 88
88888888888888888:::8888:::::M:::::::::::88888888 8
88888888888888888::::88::::::M:;:::::::::::888888888
8888888888888888888:::8::::::M::aAa::::::::M8888888888 8
88 8888888888::88::::8::::M:::::::::::::888888888888888 8888
88 88888888888:::8:::::::::M::::::::::;::88:88888888888888888
8 8888888888888:::::::::::M::"@@@@@@@"::::8w8888888888888888
88888888888:888::::::::::M:::::"@a@":::::M8i888888888888888
8888888888::::88:::::::::M88:::::::::::::M88z88888888888888888
8888888888:::::8:::::::::M88888:::::::::MM888!888888888888888888
888888888:::::8:::::::::M8888888MAmmmAMVMM888*88888888 88888888
888888 M:::::::::::::::M888888888:::::::MM88888888888888 8888888
8888 M::::::::::::::M88888888888::::::MM888888888888888 88888
888 M:::::::::::::M8888888888888M:::::mM888888888888888 8888
888 M::::::::::::M8888:888888888888::::m88Mm88888 888888 8888
88 M::::::::::::888M8M8888888888888888::88::Mm8 88888 888
88 M::::::::::8888M:8MM888::888888888888:88::::Mm88888 88
8 MM::::::::8888M::8MMMM:::::88888888888888::::::Mm8 4
8M:::::::8888M:::88MMM:::::::88:::88888888:::::::Mm 2
88MM:::::8888M:::8888MM88::::::8:::::MMMMMM8::M:::::M
8888M:::::888MM::888888M8888:::::::M::::MMMM8888M::::M
88888M:::::88:M::88888888M8888888::::M:::MMMM:8888888:M
88 888MM:::888:M:88888888888888888888::M:MMMM:888888888M
8 88888M:::88::M88888888888888888888888MM:MM888888888888M
88888M:::88::M888888888888888888888888888888888888888888M
888888M:::88::M888888888888888888888888M::8888888888888888M
888888MM::88::8M88888888888888888888888M8888888888888888888M
88888 M:::8:8MM88888888888888888888888M88888888888888888888M
8888 MM:::888MM888888888888888888888MM88888888888888888888M
888 M8888888MM8888888888888888888MM88M88888888888888888M
888 M88888888MMM8888888888888888MM888MM888888888888888M
88 M88888888MMMM88888888888MMMM88888MM888888888888MM
88 M8888888888MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM88888888MMM88888888MMM
88 M8888888888888888888888888888888888MMMMMMMMMM
88 888888888*::::::::::::::::*8888888888888888
8 88MM::::::::::::::::::::::M:::M::::::::MM
888MM::::::::::::::::::MM::::::MM::::::MM
88888MM:::::::::::::::MMM:::::::mM:::::MM
888888MM:::::::::::::MMM:::::::::MMM:::M
88888888MM:::::::::::MMM:::::::::::MM:::M
88 8888888M:::::::::MMM::::::::::::::M:::M
8 888888 M:::::::MM:::::::::::::::::M:::M:
888888 M::::::M:::::::::::::::::::M:::MM
888888 M:::::M::::::::::::::::::::::::M:M
888888 M:::::M:::::::::@::::::::::::::M::M
88888 M888:::::::::::@@::::::::::::888888M
88888 M888888888888888888888888888888888888M
88888 M::88888888888888888888888888888888888:M
88888 M:::88m*8888888888888888888*M88::::::M:::M
8888 M:::88M:::::::::::::::::::::::88:::::::Mo888
8888 M:::88M:::::::::::::::::::::::M**:o8888888:::M
888 88::88Mm::::::::::::::::::::::MMM888888:::M::::M
8888 MM88**Mm:::::::::::::::::::888888888::::::m::m:::M
888 M::8888::::::::::::::::::8888M:::oo:::::::M::mm:::M
8888 MM:::8888888::::::::::::88888:::::88::::::mM::MM:::M:
M::::o888888888:::::888888M:::::::88::::::mM::MM:::Mm
MM::::8o888888888888888888:::::::::88:::::::M::MM:::MM
M:::::88:8888888888888888::::::::::88::::::::M::M:::MM
MM:::::88::88888888888888M:::::::::88::::::::::M:M:::MM
M::::::88:::8888888888888::::::::::88:::::::::::MM::MMM
M::::::88::::88888888888:::::::::::88:::::::::::MM::MM
M::::::88:::::88888888M:::::::::::88::::::::::::M::MM
M::::::88::::::888888M::::::::::::88:::::::::::M::MM
M::::::88:::::::88888M::::::::::::88:::::::::::M:MM
M::::::88:::::::::88M::::::::::::88::::::::::::MMM
M:::::::88::::::::::M::::::::::::88::::::::::::MMM
MM::::::88:::::::::M8888oo:::::::**:::::::::::MMM
M::::::88:::::::::M8888888888888888o:::::::::MMM
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"I sure do love them garter belts, aww-haw!" (thus spake Seth The Man, 03/10/01)
-----
[Sub: General -- Quoi De Neuf]
49/50: K-MART TRAM-K
Name: Kp Neato Dee #14 @3
Date: Sun Apr 23 04:56:43 1995
I'M ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED GOING TO THE K-MART ON UNIVERSITY 'CAUSE IT'S JUST LAME.
IT JUST SCREAMS "WE HAVEN'T REMODLED SINCE '79 AND WAL-MART IS DESTROYING US."
ALL THE K-MART EMPLOYEES ARE SULLEN AND SHIFTLESS SINCE WAL-MART CAME TO TOWN.
AND SEARS EMPLOYEES? FORGET IT. THEY MIGHT AS WELL WORK IN A MUSEUM. AND WHAT
IF YOU'RE THE TOY DEPT. GUY AT SEARS? YOU'RE A LEPER, MAN, SINCE TOYS 'R' US
BROKE GROUND. YOU CAN'T EVEN HOLD YOUR HEAD UP. THEY SIT AROUND IN THE
EMPLOYEE LOUNGE, DRINKING WHISKEY OUT OF A THERMOS BOTTLE ON 15-MINUTE BREAKS
THAT STRETCH INTO 2-HOUR BINGE SESSIONS.
HEY, I JUST GOT MY NEXT SONG IDEA.
AND DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT YOU GUYS TAKE MY BRILLIANT POST IDEAS AND USE
'EM TO SEEM WITTY WITH THE CHICKS. AND I FUCKING HATE YOU FOR IT. FOREVER.
HERE'S ANOTHER IDEA: GO DIE. NOW. THANKS.
HUGZ :) :) :) :) :) :) :) HUGZ MEEZ GA-GOO NEE TOUCHIE FEEELIEEEZ :) :) :)
KPND
-----
"Freddy also appeals to minorities. 'There's enormous affection for the
character in the black community,' says Harpster. 'It always playes as you
would expect along the easter seaboard, in Detroit's large black population. It
never played well in the lily-white areas, like Seattle or Kansas. It's
basically an urban kind of phenomenon. It didn't do very well in Nebraska.'
...
'Avid moviegoers are the key audience for any movie. They may be blue-
collar, they may be black, they may have high-school educations, but filmwise
they know their stuff.'"
(from pg. 132 of _The Nightmare Never Ends_ by William Schoell and James
Spencer, Citadel Press, 1992.)
The above, of course, implies that while blue-collar/black/lacking in higher
education people "know their stuff" about movies, they are essentially inferior
in all other aspects. Way to go, Hollywood! Fine, this implication is a little
bit of a stretch...but just a little.
-----
"Yeeouch!!!" by Odin Jesse
Yeeouch!!! Them pins is pointy!
I'm a fuckin' Aries. Hmmm?.
Born and raised in the hub city of Temple, Texas but I've been all over
the place. From the Great Smoky mountains to Seattle to Georgetown DC, the self
proclaimed capital of the weirdest teenagers with the rarest genital gland
problems in the free world although all I can think about is New Orleans and
those jumbo shrimp. Not the fuckin' Grouper though. Damn thing tastes worse
than it looks. Big blank bulging eyes and their damn mouths are constantly open
like Leslie Cowan. Not that anything doesn't show a direct relationship between
taste and physical appearance. Mushrooms are the ugliest fucking growths you'll
ever find and pig's brain brings a proportionately revolting odor into the
equation for fun. I suppose it's kind of like when you piss in the sink and
turn on the hot water to "clean it off" and it merely magnifies the smell of
urine that inevitably leads to your sister getting really pissed and calling you
a lazy slob. Not that she wouldn't do it if pissing was a more convenient
pastime for women. A guy can piss on anything but not his leg.
Wow, a whole damn paragraph out of the way.
Small medium or large, free refill available! The color wheel indicates
that red and green, the pious colors that emulate the eve of the birth of Jesus,
are comparable to the combinations of orange and blue as well as purple and
yellow. Ewwwww?. Those colors are yucky, now when you die you go to hell! Green
and red indicate the combination of radiator fluid that mixes with the blood
flowing from my hand after a near fatal ratchet accident. Whelp? I just opened
her up and noticed that yer differential was leaking on yer alternator belt
which is causing the problems in yer carburetor's catalytic conversion fuel
injection system on that V6 385 drive shaft. By the way, today only buy forty
car air fresheners and get the forty-first one free. Free installation if
you've got a rear view mirror.
I walked eighteen redwoods down to the gym and got on the scale. I
weighed 9.477 cinderblocks, looks like I've gained a little. So I got on the
treadmill for 1/1x10^478 eons and got so fucking tired I went to buy one of
those big jugs of water, you know, the kind that hold 475 mouthfuls of water,
but I noticed that I left all my chariot wheels at home and they wouldn't take a
check.
It's a good thing I ran into that chick last night. She'd be fucked if I
hadn't been there to walk her home. A bitch like that has no business out
there without a man. She was so excited she barely could even talk to me. I
bet she didn't think she'd ever be lucky enough to meet a guy like me. After
all, when I was talking about running four miles after every meal and bench
pressing 385 she was so impressed she couldn't even look me in the eye. Then
when I started talking about the turbo charger and glass packs in my '99 ford
F150 XLT she must have thought she was in heaven. She'll be calling me any
minute now, just as soon as she finishes washing her hair.
This salt doesn't supply Iodide, I wonder if they have any artificially
flavored soybean Iodide supplements here. The woman at Taco Bell last night
gave me a receipt with my bean burrito. I couldn't imagine a circumstance in
which I had to prove that I bought a fuckin' burrito. I'll give her the money,
she gives me the burrito, there's no need to bring ink and paper into the
transaction. But, in case someone is like, "Man, that's bullshit. Ain't no way
you got a burrito the other night." I'll have the documentation ready. It's
back at the dorm in the filing folder. Under "B", for burrito.
I like that song that goes, "Dunnnn Dun Dun Duh Dunn Duh Dun diggadigga
Dun Dun Dunn Duh Dunn", you know the one, right? If I ever end up having a
roommate that's a total asshole dickhead dipshit fucker I think I'll buy a bunch
of those Nicotrol cigarette patches and put one on his ankle when he's asleep
every night. Then I'll get up before he does and take it off. That way I'll
get him really addicted and he won't know what's going on and he'll go through
withdrawal during the day. Sounds like fun.
Man, fuck school. I hate always having to do shit and get up early and
always be worried about shit. I'm starting to realize that a college education
isn't remotely necessary to get a great job. Some of my happiest memories are
of working at Fast Eddy's Pizza with some of the finest degenerates Temple has
to offer. I think I'll be a pirate or a caveman or a con artist or a bounty
hunter or a male prostitute. Any of those jobs would be a hell of a lot more
interesting than a damn engineer. Well, it looks like if we change the torque
on the bar supporting the cog we can maximize energy output. Bullshit. I'm
going to live in a cave somewhere in Asia and think all the time and eat small
animals and piss and shit in the woods. The secret to happiness is to escape
from money as early as possible. There isn't anyone in the world that thinks
you can live without money. All it does is tie you into the system with all the
people you never wanted to be like when you were a child, when you knew a hell
of a lot more about happiness than you know now. The sooner you get out the
better because the longer you stay in the more dependencies you develop. See,
if I were to do it now I'd still have the need for a friend and a musical
instrument that I wouldn't have needed if I had escaped ten years ago. If I
wait longer I'll simply become weaker and dependent on more worldly things.
But, instead of doing something I'm sitting by the damn computer. Somehow
nothing lasts forever yet some things never change. I think I hear the arsenic
singing to me.
Oh of course!! I love John! Oh really? Oh, how cute, yeah I know, I love
Kyle, he's so funny. Oh, I know, she's such a total bitch, like totally. Trent
is? Oh that's wonderful, I love Trent. Yeah, she's sort of a bitch too. Oh
yeah I know, I just saw him at the mall, I love him. He's so cute!! No, no,
no, WHAT? You're such a bitch!!!
I suppose the only difference I can think of between the word entriphereal
and the word naphroscocic is the context in which they'd be used. Entriphereal
would be used to describe something pretty or maybe a dream or maybe a cool song
or something. Naphroscocic should be used to describe an injury or a disaster
or maybe a part of a tractor. They're both very useful, sort of like the word
Modescent, which can describe a scary book, or a cool looking car, or the taste
of bad food. Considering all three are fuckin' made up I suppose Modescent is
my favorite because it's been more widespread. I invented it in high school and
used it in reports and essays all the time. I never had a teacher comment about
it. They're obviously too embarrassed to admit that they don't know what the
hell it means and some high school dumbass does. I think it's very entriphereal
of them. In fact, I think I might do something to the naphroscocic converter
belt on their car just to piss them off.
OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOD!!! I JUST SAW THE TEMPERATURE CHANGE ON THE
WEATHER CHANNEL!! IT WENT FROM 67 TO 66 DEGREES!! I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY SEEN IT
CHANGE BEFORE!! HEY EVERYBODY, ITS 66 DEGREES OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW!!!!
I was born on the exact day that Jesus Christ was crucified for the sins
of the world. Good Friday, the most sacrilegious day of the year. I hope
that's not some kind of omen. God is probably pissed at me for being born that
day, that must be why I haven't gotten my grandma's Range Rover yet. Hmmm? I
KNOW!! I'll say the lords prayer one hundred times tonight. He'll have to
forgive me then, right?
What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning? I'd probably
ask him why the hell he's drunk early in the morning. That's an evening thing
around here. He must be a damn foreigner, probably one of those freaks from
Poland. Ewww?.
Whoa? it's 8:30 already? Hey, it's been a nice evening but I really
better get going.
Alcohol abuse is a disease. But it's the only disease you can get bitched
at for having. Dammit Odin! You're an alcoholic! Dammit Odin! You have
Lupus! Dammit Odin! You have Leprosy! Dammit Odin! You have Ebola! Dammit
Odin! You have the gout!
Unfortunately Kevin Johnson won't be joining us this evening as he is at
home asleep. I think I'd rather lose and arm than a leg. I'd rather be blind
than deaf. I'd rather be ugly than smelly. I'd rather be dead than insane.
I'd rather be middle class than aristocracy. I'd rather be annoying than
ignorant. I'd rather be unappreciated than talentless. And at the end of the
day, even though engineering isn't the most fulfilling of jobs I can always
smile and say, "Well, at least I'm not working for you."
Hmm? this stuff really doesn't taste too bad. It kinda smells funny,
though. Ok, I give up, what is it? OH MY GOD!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! THAT'S
NOT FUCKIN' FUNNY, MAN!!! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!
Save the whales, Collect them all!! I saw that fool yesterday and he was
all "Sup dog" and I was all "Sup wit you?" and he was like "Wussup then, bitch!"
and I was like "Step up nigga" and he was like "I see wussup now, bitch" and I
was like "Say nigga, you be trippin" and he was like "It's on then, nigga" and I
was like "Arite dog!" and he was like "Wussup then" and I was like "Yeah,
that's what I thought" and he was like "Say nigga, Say" and I was like "awright
den, it's cool brother" and he was like "Awright homie, peace out" and I was
like "That's cool dog".
Hey man, Yanni's playing live on the 15th. If I were to make an album I
would definitely not put any of that evil devil music on there or any of that
loud crap all the punks listen to, or any of that rap shit the thugs listen to,
or any of the country shit the hicks listen to, or any of that oldies shit my
parents listen to, or any of that blues shit the bums listen to, or any of that
techno shit those weirdos listen to, or any of that classical stuff those old
people listen to, or any of that other crap. Just twelve tracks of total
silence. Hell yeah, that's good music!!!
The worst part about being alive is when you stub your toe on the kitchen
table. One time my uncle was building a house for his daughter because she was
about to get married. Me and my cousin were helping him. I was up on the
second floor and I was trying to hammer this support beam to one of the rafters.
I accidentally dropped the hammer and it hit my uncle in the back of the head
and knocked him out. The bad part about it was at the time he was working at
the table saw and when he got knocked out he fell forward on the blade and cut
his head off. It was the grossest thing I've ever seen. He was all twitching
and shit. My cousin was slightly upset about what happened and he tried to run
and tell the rest of the family. However, I knew that if he told my mom I'd
probably get grounded and I wanted to go to the movies with my friends that
weekend. So I ran after my cousin and poked a _ inch drill bit in the side of
his neck to get his attention. He turned to see what I wanted but when I was
trying to explain that I didn't want him to tell the family he passed out. I
think it was probably because the drill bit was buried about two inches deep
into his neck and passed through his carotid artery. Well, I couldn't let mom
know about him either so I took them out to the shop and used the sandblaster to
tear their bodies into oblivion. I suppose nobody ever found them. And I got
to go to the movies with my friends that weekend so I guess the story has a
happy ending after all.
I read that Jacob Stryver from Ireland has been declared the man with the
cleanest urine in the entire world. Something about his kidneys and his eating
habits. But, I'd still drink my own before his.
If fruit had individual personalities I think that bananas would be the
funny ones. Peaches would be the manic-depressive ones. Strawberries would be
the sexy ones. Pears would be very intelligent but kind of quiet. Oranges
would be really active and you'd never see them very often. Cherries would be
egocentric and arrogant. Grapes would be old and grouchy. Blueberries wouldn't
be very funny or intelligent but they would think they were. Raspberries would
be friendly but humble. And Grapefruit would be tyrannical, bitchy, assholes.
A day without sunshine is like night. On the other hand, you have
different fingers.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. If Barbie
is so popular why do you have to buy her friends. Ewww? just think about
creamed corn. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many
is research. I intend to live forever, so far so good. If at first you don't
succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
YOU SUCKER!!! FUCKING SUCKER!!! HAHAHAHAHA
Find the hidden message in the following crap:
Al;kjepowia;dlsfhgjkldfhgoa;oiaoio;igao;isdjglhdnbfoiraurpiourkjbvl;kjshguiooer
ptbnvjmcxoasrhoperhrof;lxdkgosayhrejlkvcnx;osjhrlgoisrehjoi;odijgl.bxnlxrjgoias
erohglknx,lhjdvl;kgoerijoisrh;dflhkjxlko;isfdboigsrejyoufoundthemessage,aren't
youproudofyourselfa;lkjlkbnvoiaserwoiahdlgjz;fdohgohfdlkcxjvbuhguioreptlhgf,mvhx
lkgjbhrapijhfgkjxhgjvlcbiudhciuyoitujwrahtcvmhoghosgjxlkjghkcvno;islzrjsdfgosglg
kdjhls;xkgflxjkhvbop;lkurj;oslkcvhnbolcfguvjh;isorlzkdsujtrf;olshgdnjxmbhnglicxk
tugjpajsdgv.
Don't you hate it when you have a really sexy dream and you wake up with a
sore asshole and shit stains all over your fingers?
Hey man, I'm going down to that one place where those guys go like
"Blaaauugh" on that little thing.
The finest example of an igloo that I can think of was the one that was in
the Inuit museum in Washington, DC. I liked it because it was an actual size
replica of a 15th century Aleutian igloo that housed up to eight families.
Unfortunately, as is common in public museum the exhibit had been defaced by the
time I saw it. There were Coke cans and candy wrappers all over the place and
some of the details on the Aleutian mannequins had been stolen. The only other
eyesore was the eighteen decapitated infant carcasses rotting in the background.
Sometimes I wonder why human bodies have some of the parts that they have.
I don't know why men have nipples, appendixes, or kidneys.
He went into the kitchen and got that steak knife that he bought at the
livestock show and went back into the bedroom and stabbed his wife in the leg.
He didn't like her very much. But afterwards he felt bad so he called an
ambulance which was slightly delayed as it was destroyed when it was side-swiped
by at quadruple-back tractor trailer that was illegally driving on the road in
the first place. So he ended up driving her to the hospital himself. She was
so impressed by this sudden act of kindness that she accidentally bit her tongue
off and began to choke. He drove faster because her condition was somewhat more
urgent now. She recovered in seven and a half days and they returned to their
house where they were killed in a surprise terrorist bombing raid on the
neighborhood.
I give my liiiiiiiiiffffeee and sooooouuuuuullll to you my friend, you let
me faaauuuullll. Trapped in a gaze where time stands insurrected to a blur.
Before this river becomes an ocean, before you pick my heart up off the floor.
If I was God you'd sell your soul. Get in the pit and try to love someone.
Whoring redeemer embezzles the weak. Come closer, you can do better than me. I
ask myself why I'm so hateful. Fucking envy changes everything.
Damn! They don't have the new Abba!
-----
10/17:
Name: Trojan-Man #4
Date: Wed Dec 07 14:05:53 1994
Call 832-4287.....it's not long distance from lubbock....it won't hurt ya
none....when you do it makes a pretty noise on this side....and on top of all
that...wehn you do, nothing will happen....theres no board there.....nice
concept, eh?
Theres no warez, no codez, hell...no files period....I don't even have message
basses or onliners....come to think of it, I don't even have BBS software set
up.....so call The Non-Existant Board at 832-4287....if yer lucky you might
just catch the sysop, Trojan-Man, in Telemate and actually get a connect....and
then I'm sure he'll think of something cool to give you...or maybe not, but
you'll never know till you call.....so go call it you shmuck....ATA is a good
thing.
Safer Sex Forever,
Trojan-Man
Oh yeah....you should prolly not call after like 3 in the afternoon cus thats
when I leave sos I won't be here when the people that actually live here get
home....cus you know, it's thier computer, thier phone line, thier house and
all that, but they don't use it during the day, I don't think they'll mind....
-----
"Interesting Hits that www.GREENY.org Received from 25 March to 30 April 2001"
There have, of course, been other interesting hits since GREENY.org went online,
but we're too lazy to include them here.
25/Mar/01 12:57: wcs3.norfolk.nipr.mil
25/Mar/01 19:45: apnc101.216.216.211.in-addr.arpa
27/Mar/01 04:44: educfwal.blackpool.gov.uk
27/Mar/01 18:14: jadzia.wellsfargo.com
29/Mar/01 02:35: haymaker.leeds.wwwcache.ja.net
29/Mar/01 02:35: ruddles.leeds.wwwcache.ja.net
29/Mar/01 02:35: magee.leeds.wwwcache.ja.net
29/Mar/01 04:50: nc1.unicc.org
29/Mar/01 04:50: nc2.unicc.org
30/Mar/01 08:52: thor.clf.navy.mil
30/Mar/01 08:52: zeus.clf.navy.mil
30/Mar/01 13:20: vance001.net.gov.bc.ca
03/Apr/01 01:09: cache3-1.ruh.isu.net.sa
03/Apr/01 01:09: cache1-1.ruh.isu.net.sa
03/Apr/01 01:09: cache2-0.ruh.isu.net.sa
03/Apr/01 10:25: unknown-31-159.ama-assn.org
03/Apr/01 19:44: sf-bas01.sf.csfb.com
04/Apr/01 05:19: cache1.grnet.gr
07/Apr/01 12:07: scorpion.usafa.af.mil
09/Apr/01 08:05: sw3ext.eglin.af.mil
10/Apr/01 22:25: cupidon.inria.fr
14/Apr/01 12:49: 1cust173.tnt3.oshawa.on.da.uu.net
17/Apr/01 16:06: mail.wordsearchbible.com
25/Apr/01 13:24: genetics-bh.genetics.com
30/Apr/01 11:49: bastion.cbc.ca
-----
"This here's a keyboard-n-shit. A REALLY OLD keyboard"
________________________________________________
| _____________________________ |
| [][] _____________________________ [_][_][_] |
| [][] [_][_][_] [_][_][_][_] [_][_] [_][_][_] |
| |
| [][] [][][][][][][][][][][][][][_] [][][][] |
| [][] [_][][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][] |
| [][] [__][][][][][][][][][][][][_] [][][][] |
| [][] [___][][][][][][][][][][][__] [__][][] |
| [_][______________][_] |
|______________________________________________|
-----
Date: 1:30 am Thu Jun 22, 1995 Number : 23 of 23
From: Napalm Base : Like, oh mah gah, Buffae!
To : Laqueeda Refer #: 12
Subj: Re: 8756 Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
L> nothing but silicone and air.
Silicone. Ramblings on silicone.
Ya know, if medical science could discover a way to turn the silicone in
breast implants into some type of processing device, neural net, et al, then
Pamela Anderson would put any Cray to shame.
Yeah. Her and Dolly Parton. You could network 'em by nipple clamps and
then ask them the meaning of life. The answer would prolly be 42.
Think about it.. Models would actually become USEFUL.
-----
From: "breed_x" <breed_x@GREENY.org>
To: "ChaosLAN"
Subject: [chaoslan] Announcing ChachScan version 1.0 beta
Date: Sun, 3 Dec 2000 15:54:21 -0600
ChaosLAN - http://chaos.greeny.org/~chaoslan
******* Announcing ChachScan version 1.0 beta for public release *********
Please visit http://chachscan.homeip.net for addition information about this
software!
The newest HalfLife online server scanner is brought to you FREE OF CHARGE
by the wonderful folks at the Infiltration Lab software division.
Features include:
* Downloading of current server list from WON
* Separate multithreaded server scan and ping functions
* User configurable scan timeout threshold
* Server list sorting by name, ip address, ping, player count, or game
type
* Search current server list by name and/or IP address. Find that server
you heard your clansmen talking about!
* Server detail window to display players, frag counts, and server
variables
* Player name search...find your clansmen online!
* Launch HalfLife directly from server list screen! Comprehends game type
and game directory.
* Ability to enable/disable HalfLife console
* Integrated enhanced IRC chat client!
* Written in C/C++ for improved efficiency and speed.
* Stand-alone executable...no bloated install/uninstall software...just
two files to download (executable and configuration)!
We are certainly looking for beta testers! We are confident that the
product is now reasonably stable as a beta product and are in need of steady
users who can report any remaining bugs/problems.
We would like to urge all member of the ChaosLan list to download the
software and give it a test drive. If you are not 100% satisfied with the
product, we will refund your money in full (quite easy actually, considering
that the thing is FREE!).
Seriously, though: If you play online and enjoy playing with your clan
members, this can be *the* tool for you. You are encouraged to use the chat
functionality whenever playing online. It is recommended that all members of
clan [Chach] who play online connect to one of the GamesNet IRC servers and
join channel #chach prior to starting an online game. This will allow other
members of clan [Chach] to easily find you online and join up with you!
Feedback is welcome. Bugs/problems/suggestions/feedback/insults can be
reported to jason.plumb@home.com or can be posted to the ChaosLAN list for
public discussion.
Again, that URL is http://chachscan.homeip.net
Enjoy, you friggin CHACH!
-breedx
-----
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OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
U
__________\|/___\|/_______\/__\|/_______\|/______\/____\|/_____\|/_____________
-----
Date: 2:13 am Sat Dec 23, 1995 Number : 26 of 29
From: Napalm Base : Don't worry, mom will buy us p
To : Diamondback Refer #: 18
Subj: Re: This Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
D> again(10am-8pm Sat & Sun shifts are _not_ conducive to being militant-b0y.
Militancy is cool. When I get my discharge (22 NOV 98) I'm going to start a
militia. You can all join! We'll be the cyberhackermilitia, feared by the
pulic, the ATF, the FBI, the CIA (Christians In Action?) the US Marshals, the
Texas Rangers, the NSA, the DIA, the KGB, Mossad, SF, SAS, GIGN, GSG-9, and
all sorts of other alphabet soup agencies! We'll be a scourge! Cheesy lame
post! Trying to start posting up! Pathetic attempt! Pathetic attempt!
-----
"GwDweb Guestbook Stuff" by lots of people
"I want to be Lobo's groupie. Can I?" - liz d.
"blarg" - Trojan-Man
"Does anyone actually look at this?" Jakyl
"Destroy." - Seth The Man
"wow, this sux harder than monic. what a jizzed up trick. newaz
this 'reakes' of little scholng. pussy" - Mr Melvin
-----
Path: news.XXX.XXX!
Distribution: world
Newsgroups: alt.best.of.internet
Subject: ABOI: Bugs
From: ironrod@channel1.com (Ironrod)
Date: Sat, 18 Nov 1995 20:14:00 -0640
Organization: Channel 1(R) 617-864-0100 Info
Lines: 136
* Forwarded by : Ironrod of Spiderloft (ironrod@channel1.com)
Forwards removed ...
Software Engineering Notes (SEN), a journal of the Association for
Computer Machinery, regularly publishes lists of computer horror
stories. Some of these are well-known, while others have never been
independently verified. This summary gives the SEN volume/issue, and
the date of the event, if known. (SEN also reports computer break-ins,
embezzlements, etc. Such malicious events are omitted here.)
SEN | Description | Date of
References| | Event
-!--------+--------------------------------------------------+--------
4/4 | Bug in brake computer system caused recall of |
| all El Dorado automobiles |
| |
5/1 | Arthritis-therapy microwaves set patient's heart |
| pacemaker to 214, resulting in fatal coronary |
| |
5/2 | Mariner 18 lost due to missing NOT in program |
| |
5/2 | F16 autopilot flipped plane upside down whenever |
| it crossed the equator |
| |
5/3 | 50 false alerts from NORAD defense system | 1979
| |
6/1 | Many computer system outages at FAA Air Traffic |
| Control |
| |
6/3 | Air New Zealand crash in Antartica when computer | Nov 1979
| data error detected but crew was not informed |
| |
6/5 | Backup computer synchronization problem delayed |
| first Shuttle launch |
| |
8/3 | NORAD defense radar system mistook the Moon for |
| a hostile incoming missile |
| |
8/3 | Computer bug showed ghost train near Embarcadero | May 1983
| station on San Francisco Muni |
| |
8/3 | Software bug caused F14 to fly off the end of an |
| aircraft carrier into the North Sea |
| |
8/3 | HMS Sheffield radar system identified incoming |
| Argentinian Exocet missile as non-Soviet & thus |
| friendly; no alarm was raised and the ship sank |
| |
8/5 | F18 computer opened missile retention clamp, |
| fired missile and re-closed clamp before missile |
| had had enough time to move away from aircraft |
| |
8/5 | San Francisco BART doors opened while train was |
| at full speed; control system's inter-station |
| delay time was too short for TransBay Tunnel |
| |
8/5 | United Airlines 767 iced up because fuel-saving | Aug 1983
| computer was over-efficient, causing engines to |
| cool down too much on approach to Denver |
| |
8/5 | Mariner 1 launch failed due to period instead of | 1962
| comma in FORTRAN program DO statement |
| |
8/5 | Computer error caused US naval vessel to open | Jul 1983
| fire 180 degrees off target, in the direction of |
| Mexican merchant ship |
| |
9/1 | Gemini V splashed down 100 miles off target when |
| program used 360 degrees for Earth's rotation in |
| 1 day, i.e. ignoring its movement around the Sun |
| |
9/1 | Vancouver Stock Exchange Index rose by 50% when | 1983
| 2 years of round-off errors in computer program |
| were corrected |
| |
9/5 | Viking spacecraft had misaligned antenna due to |
| faulty code patch |
| |
9/5 | F16 computer deadlocked, confusing left & right |
| while plane was inverted |
| |
10/1 | Faulty computer modelling of weather led to ill- | 1983
| advised damming of Colorado River, resulting in |
| severe flooding during spring thaws |
| |
10/2 | "Compatible" teller machines of 2 British banks | Jan 1985
| handled leap years differently, witholding cash |
| and confiscating cards during New Year holiday |
| |
10/2 | 180 degree heading error caused Soviet test | Dec 1984
| missile to aim for Hamburg instead of the Arctic |
| |
10/2 | Faulty automatic dialup on Coke machines tied up | Jan 1985
| phone system in North Carolina municipal offices |
| |
10/2 | Department store anti-theft microwave device | Jul 1981
| reprogrammed heart pacemaker, killing its user |
| |
10/2 | Autopilot error caused China Airlines 747 to | Feb 1985
| stall near San Francisco |
| |
10/3 | Robot killed Japanese auto worker attempting to | Jul 1981
| repair another robot |
| |
10/3 | AT&T software bug knocked out all long-distance | 1979
| phone service to Greece |
| |
10/3 | Shuttle laser experiment failed because computer | Jun 1985
| data was in nautical miles instead of feet |
| |
10/3 | Woman killed daughter & tried suicide after |
| computer incorrectly diagnosed incurable disease |
| |
10/3 | Federal Reserve inter-bank transaction amounts |
| multiplied by 1000 because data input procedures |
| were inconsistent between client banks |
| |
10/3 | Computer error caused nuclear reactor in Florida | Feb 1980
| to overheat |
| |
10/3 | KAL flight 007 strayed, shot down due to heading | Sep 1983
| being mistyped into autopilot |
| |
10/3 | 14000 Ford Lincolns recalled because computer in |
| air suspension system had overheating problem, |
| causing automobile to burst into flames |
-----------------------------------------------------------------
paul.kinnaly@channel1.com || http://www.channel1.com/users/paulk/
*CMPQwk 1.42 #613* Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
-----
"Check out that ass!"
|V|
|-|
|-|
|-|
|-|
.-^-. _|_|_ .-^-.
| \.-~ ~-./ |
| / \ |
| |..--~~~~~~~--..| |
\_-~ ~-_/
/ \
/ \
| |
| H |
| H |
| .-H-. |
i / V \ ;
\ | | /
\________/ \________/
-----
G D
GG DD
GGG DDD
GGGGG DDDDD
GGGGGGGG DDDDDDDD
GGGGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDDD
GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG w w w DDDD DDDDD
GGGGGG GGGGGGGGG w w w w DDDD DDDDDD
GGGGG GGGGGGGGG w w DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GGGG w w DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGG GGGG DDDD DDDDD
GGGGGGGGGGG DDDDDDDDDD
GGGGGGGG DDDDDDDD
GGGGG DDDDD
GGG DDD
GG DD
G D
The Official List of All Crap Published by GwD Publications/GwD, Inc. Since 1993
version 2.6
________________________________________________________________________________
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/| GwD Publications |\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\| as of 01-03-01 |/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"GwD: The American Dream with a Twist -- of Lime" -+- ISSN 1523-1585
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
## Title Author(s)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
01 A summary of what GwD is. Lobo and STM
02 The Story of Greeny Lobo
03 Official Stuff Lobo and STM
04 War: A Costly Way to Solve a Problem Lobo
05 Rex et son ami Louis Lobo
06 Quotes Vol. I Lobo and STM
07 'Poor' School Districts Lobo
08 The Price: Chapter I The Lizard King
09 Sue of St. Louis Lobo
10 Spanky's Claim to Fame Spanky McDougal
11 Censorship: The School Play Lobo and Spanky
McDougal
12 Faith No More: The Real Thing (lyrics)
13 Quotes Vol. II Sir Flea
14 Drunk In Mexico, Part I Zippy
15 Welcome to School 101 Lobo
16 Quotes Vol ]|[ Aracnia
17 Rage Against the Machine (lyrics)
18 Why Drugs Should Be Legalized Lobo
19 Droogan Poetry Poetic Droogs
20 Issue #1 of the GwD Task Force Newsletter Lobo, STM, Zen, &
Trojan-Man
21 What fastjack
22 One Hand Clapping, Part I: The Beginning Spanky McDougal
23 One Hand Clapping, Part II: Reunion Spanky McDougal
24 Shakespeare Silliness, Part the First Lobo
25 Return to School 101 Lobo
26 Great Expectations Fable Lobo
27 Rex et son ami Louis, Le Prochain Chapitre:
La rentre de les deux chouette hommes Lobo
28 Literal Dribblings Seth Sometimes
29 DroogSpeak: What We Say and Hear Diamondback
30 The Anti-GREENY! Lobo and SS
31 Cow Stompin' SS
32 BBSes Sir Flea
33 Silliness Begets More Silliness Zen and Aracnia
34 Drive By Water Gunnings: A Practical Approach Bill Hooper
35 Literary Publications by S & S SS and Lasher
36 The Plot Spanky McDougal
37 The Yuletide Caper Unknown
38 |\|3\x/Zzzf!@5h Ray Westbrook
39 Campaign Against Art Seeks to Stifle Dissent Charles Marowitz
40 Issue #2 of the GwD Task Force Newsletter SS and Lobo
41 the mogtronix instant inside-joke maker 2000 mogel
42 Bob Larson Parts 1 & 2 Kenneth L. Smith
43 Bob Larson Parts 3 & 4 Kenneth L. Smith
44 Bob Larson Parts 5 & 6 Kenneth L. Smith
45 Bob Larson Parts 7 & 8 Kenneth L. Smith
46 Bob Larson Parts 9 & 10 Kenneth L. Smith
47 Bob Larson Parts 11 & 12 Kenneth L. Smith
48 Bob Larson Parts 13 & 14 Kenneth L. Smith
49 Jack Schitt Unknown
50 The k-rad 3/Y+3 50th File GwD, Inc.
51 Only Tomorrow Lobo and Bob tMotW
52 UFOS and the ATF K2 and Carson
53 Cybersex
53b Getting Sued Is Bad GwD, Inc.
54 Stupid Girls Rainne
55 Oompa Loompa Doompa Dee Doo and Press Release... Yancey Slide & STM
56 Enter the Trailer Park Queen Trailer Park Queen
57 PUBLIC ENEMY #1: CIA Unknown
58 Confessions of an Insurance Adjuster Antone P. Braga
59 The Deluded Ravings of a Madman The Mad Screamer
60 _The Book of Keylime_ LL/STM
61 Commentary on Just a Bunch of Stuff... Sir Flea
62 The Greeny Files (Chapter 1) Priest
63 Untitled? Lobo Licious
64 The GwD Guide to Being a Perfect Boyfriend Snotty
65 Whine Purpldrgn
66 The GwD STAR WARS Special Many a Person
67 Make Room for Millennium Baby Ron Callari
68 FUCK ALL FORMS OF WIRELESS COMMUNICATION Otis and Priest
69 In Anticipation of Shoes slave daphne
70 _The Droogist Manifesto_ Lobo/STM
71 The Ride Franken Gibe
72 Satan, Sodomy, and the Governor's School Charles Zeps
73 Hanoi Jane Unknown Author(s)
74 Shakespeare Silliness, Part Deux Yancey Slide/Lobo
75 The Beat of a Different Drummer Priest
76 Pinocchio (Oil Painting by Jaisini): A Review Yustas Kotz-Gottlieb
77 A Semester in Russia, Part 1 Yancey Slide
78 A Semester in Russia, Part 2 Yancey Slide
79 The Passion that Kills Otis
80 The Significance of 05-25-00 Kilroy
81 mute. Kp Neato Dee
82 Going Postal Franken Gibe
83 A Semester in Russia, Part 3 Yancey Slide
84 Medical Applications of Selective Laser Sintering Otis
85 My Poetry and Why I Hate Poetry Grandmaster Ratte'
86 Chach! Oscar the Pornographer
87 Send 'Em Packing: Reasoning for Congressional... Otis
88 The Drug Project www.thedrugproject.org
89 When Not Working Kp Neato Dee
90 Am I Old School Yet? Jaffo
91 Fuckin' HOEs Lobo Licious
92 Language Acquisition: Philosophical Variations... Bob tMotW
93 OPEN THEM EYES! Kp Neato Dee
94 Evaluating Some Premises of Hill's Argument... Otis
95 Ubermensch and Raskolnikov Bob tMotW
96 A Look at Hardin's Attacks on Contemporary... Otis
97 Dreams G. Ratte' & F. Gibe
98 Sickness
99 ICC for You and Me... Yancey Slide
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
GwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWSGwDNEWS
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name Subject
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NEWS Announces Release of GwD 24-30
NEWS2 Announces Release of GwD 31-32
NEWS3 Announces Release of GwD 33-35
NEWS4 Announces Release of GwD 36-37
NEWS5 Announces Release of GwD 38-40
NEWS6 Announces Release of GwD 41-50
NEWS7 Announces Release of GwD 51-52
NEWS8 Announces Release of GwD 53-57
NEWS9 Announces Release of GwD 58-61
NEWS10 Announces Release of GwD 62-65 & GwDfyod
NEWS11 Announces Release of GwD 66-67
NEWS12 Announces Release of GwD 68-75
NEWS13 Announces Release of GwD 76-79
NEWS14 Announces Release of GwD 80-99
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Special Releases - SpEsHuL rUhLeEsEz - 5p3zhu\_ R3/3@53zzZ - Special Releases
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name Title Author(s)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GwD&1996 GwD and 1996 Lobo Licious
GwD-FPQ Frequently Posed Queries Lobo Licious
GwaDFest98 GwaDFest98 Invitation GwD, Inc.
GwDfyod GwD: Five Years of Domination GwD, Inc.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Other Stuff -+- oThEr StUfF -+- 0+43R 5+uFF -+- OtHeR sTuFf -+- Other Stuff
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name Title
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
gwdfiles.txt [this list] Official List of GwD Crap
http://www.greeny.org/catalog/ GwDCatalog+ vol.1 issue 1
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
129 releases total by GwD Publications...and that's just the beginning.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----
Date: 4:39 pm Thu Sep 7, 1995 Number : 37 of 51
From: Captain Harlock Base : "DB's taxes" backwards is "Sex
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: alkjfdang Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Speaking of religions, my new hobby is calling the Dianetics/Scientology(TM)
information hotline 1-800-FOR-TRUTH (call it yourself!) and asking them
perfectly logical questions that they don't like to answer.
Questions like:
Who is Xenu?
Who is Paulette Cooper, and why was "Operation Freakout" launched against her?
How can a religion have "trade secrets?"
Was L. Ron Hubbard committed to a mental hospital (Oak Knell Naval Hospital to
be exact) after his discharge from the Navy?
Did L. Ron Hubbard's third wife attempt to divorce him on the grounds that he
was insane?
Who was the first clear?
If clears have such phenomenal superhuman abilities, why haven't they taken
over the planet yet?
And others. I've got a huge list of Frequently Unanswered Questions (FUQ, not
FAQ) to ask them, but they won't answer. Consider my most recent exchange:
Clam: Dianetics, may I help you?
Me: Yes. I was wondering if you could answer me a few questions about
Scientology.
Clam: Certainly.
Me: Who is Paulette Cooper?
Clam: I don't know. I've never heard that name. What are you talking about?
Me: Well then, who is Xenu?
Clam: I don't know. What does that have to do with anything?
Me: Isn't Dianetics part of Scientology?
Clam: Of course.
Me: Then who is Xenu? Isn't he part of Scientology beliefs?
Clam: I've never heard of it. It doesn't concern me.
Me: So you've never taken the OT III course material, because he's mentioned
in there quite frequently.
Clam: I don't see what that has to do with you. Excuse me, I have to answer
another call.
Me: Oh, so you don't want to answer my perfectly logical questions, like L.
Ron Hubbard(TM) said you should.
<CLICK>
ElRon, God of Scamitology, is frequently quoted as telling all his people to
answer any and all questions people have, for only then will Scientology be
doing its mission. Clearly, they don't want to follow his advice anymore.
["DB's taxes" backwards is "Sex at DB's"] [37/51] :
-----
Date: Wed, 06 Jan 99 07:54:20 -0500
To: lobo@GREENY.org
From: issn@loc.gov
Subject: ISSN Assignment
Thank you for requesting the International Standard Serial Number (ISSN). We
have made the following ISSN assignment:
Title: GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime
ISSN: 1523-1585
Sincerely,
ISSN Cataloger,
US ISSN Center
issn@loc.gov
-----
"DRU Log to Show that We're More 3/Y+3 than YOU." - contributed by Ratt Fink
BROTHERS AND SISTERS!
___ ______
| || \
| ||___ \
| || \ |
| || | |
___________ | || | | ___________
/ ______| | || | | / ______|
| / | || | | | /
| \_______ | ||___/ | | \_______
| | | || / | |
\____________| |___||______/ \____________|
A S S A U L T T E L E C O M
Entry: THRASH
Generallyuselessbutit'shereanyways NOTICE:
This BBS may contain explicit descriptions of or may advocate one or more
of the following: nudity, satanism, suicide, sodomy, incest, bestiality,
sadomasochism, adultery, murder, morbid violence, bad grammar, or any deviate
sexual conduct in a violent context, or the use of illegal drugs or alcohol.
But then again, it may not. Who knows.
This BBS is a private system. Only private citizens who are not involved
in government, law enforcement, or private investigative activities may be
permitted to use this system unless they completely and honestly divulge their
status to the sysop upon first entering the system. No users of this BBS are
authorized to divulge information gained from this system to any government
agency or employee. All information contained herein is the property of and
copyrighted by the sysop, unless prior copyrights are specified.
This BBS system is a Common Carrier. The computer it operates on is also a
Publisher.
-SysOp
Feds: Don't waste your time, there are no c0dez or waReZz on here anyways....
Welcome to the future:
no future
Entering meat-processing plant...
___
|\ ___ |\/| /\ | /___) /\ ^ ___ | |
| > /___ | | < > |\ | / \ < > /_\ / |___|
|/ /_____ | | \/ | \| // \\ \/ / \ (_____ | |
| \ |
U N D E R G R O U N D
cDc
_ _
((___))
[ x x ]
cDc \ / cDc
(' ')
(U)
'..and none but the Bovine survived the onslaught'
-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
cDc communications
-cDc- BASE SYSTEM -cDc-
---------------------------
HAVE A NICE DAY
----------------------- ------------ --------- -------- ------ ---- -- - - - -
xXx FUCK SHIT UP xXx
- - - - - - - -- --- ------- -------- ------------ ------------------------
......82 megs............300/1200/2400 baud......86400 seconds per day.....
Prince of Monochrome
SysButthead : Grandmaster Ratte'
Enter account #, new user pass, or '?' for user list.
Account #] 458
Finger something to mess with Roach
________________
|DOA : Ratt Fink
|Fetus # : 458
|Security level : 00000000 [Worthless Leech]
|Genital Scan(tm): Penis
|Last date on : 03/25/94 Impressive box, huh?
|Caller # : 22572
|Last user : THE NIGHTSTALKER
|Total/New msgs : 15143/112
|Post/Call ratio : 142/190 (100%)
|________________:
Hit something to get on with Roach..
DEMON ROACH UNDERGROUND: a CULT System
---------- Thrax - Roach From Hell(!) sez--------------------------------------
If you're not weaselin' now you'll be weaselin' later,
---------- End quote ----------------------------------------------------------
[xXx] User's InsipidMessage [xXx]
DANGER MOUSE says:
I'm trying to think, therefore I think I'm trying to be me.
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
--FASTER, FINK!
KILL! KILL! KILL!
No mail, huh... what'd you expect? HA!
[T:100][DRU:Main] ?
--Fetal commands
[] DEMON ROACH UNDERGROUND []
.______|_____________________|______.
|[C] Wail to chat :[D] Set display |
|[F] Feed Ratte :[I] Roach info |
|[N] Roach news :[O] Outta here...|
|[U] Fetus list :[Y] Yo stats |
|[Z] Nothing :[@] Disclaimer |
| Check back in a day or so |
| for access |
|___________________________________|
[T:99][DRU:Main] I
Demon Roach Underground BBS info. file:
Formerly TACNBBS, The Marauding Camel
First on-line: September 27, 1985 on 64k Apple II+ w/10 megs, 300/1200 baud.
cDc base as of: July, 1986
Last update: July 16, 1991
The system currently runs on:
o Apple IIgs w/1792k RAM
o Three 3.5" 800k drives
o Two 5.25" 140k drives
o Seagate 85 meg SCSI hard drive
o Supra 3/12/2400/MNP5/V.42bis modem
o System Saver IIgs fan/power unit
o GBBS Pro 1.2/1.3j/2.1 (ProDOS) BBS software
o SuperTAC 6.4 xfer system
The board emphasis here is on the message bases and text files, having
currently 41 sub-board areas and well over 2000 t-files. Discussion is
encouraged on any topic at all, from public education to dead animal worship,
telecom, and graphic violence.
This is a basic explination of the board...any questions, ask the sysop.
It's basically up to you, I provide the place, you do what you want with it.
Any suggestions/insults, there's a place in the message base for them and all
are considered. If I think it's a good idea, I'll try to implement it.
'bout it for now.
GM Ratte'
[T:98][DRU:Main] N
{New Scan Deleted cuz it was too long. - RF}
[T:45][DRU:Main] O
--Go away and do something meaningful with your life.
Fuck off?
Fine... nobody wants you here anyway.
So like... later, FINK...
Come whimpering back soon like the dog you are....
Wasted 56 mins, 14 secs which could have been used more constructively by
others more worthy than you.
Demon Roach Underground was brought to you by the number 5 and the letter D.
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
..And with a hideous scream of perverse pleasure, the Demon Roach is engulfed
in the flames of his Abyss...as The Unholy One, Bob, Son of Elsie the Hell
Spawned and Ruler of All Regurgitating Vertibrates, looks on with amusement at
his disciple's work for The Cause and chews his cud...
:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:
Demon Roach Underground
(c)1985-1994 Swamp Ratte
(c)1986-1994 cDc communications
Improve your life...call these boards:
Cool Beans!...............415/648-PUNK Blitzkrieg................502/499-8933
Ripco II..................312/528-5020 Condemned Reality.........618/397-7702
The Works.................617/861-8976 Finitopia.................916/673-8412
Moody Loners w/Handguns...415/221-8608 Lunatic Labs..............213/655-0691
...ACTION is power...(along with money and big guns)...stay free...
"I can't be wrong... I'm elite!"
.ooM
GBBS Pro (C)1986-90 L&L Productions V2.1
-----
From: dfrandy6256@msn.com <dfrandy6256@msn.com>
Subject: EVER SEE A WHORE GARGLE WITH CUM?
Date: Tue, 08 May 2001 21:03:55 -0400 (EDT)
To: GwD@GREENY.org
ALL THE RAUNCHIEST SEX PICS YOU WILL EVER SEE ONLINE!
SIMPLY THE BEST VALUE ADULT SITE ON THE NET!
3 day trial! Goto <CLICK>
Over 200,000+ FREE HARDCORE PORN MOVIES!!!
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********
-----
From: Yustas61@aol.com
Date: Tue, 9 May 2000 23:32:36 EDT
Subject: Re: Pinocchio (Oil painting by Jaisini) Jaisini, an artist of a new
time and...
To: GwD@greeny.org
In a message dated 5/9/00 10:02:51 PM Eastern Daylight Time, GwD@GREENY.org
writes:
<< Am I correct in understanding that you wish for this piece to be published
in my e-zine, GwD: The American Dream with a Twist - of Lime (which can be
found at http://gwd.mit.edu/)? If so, I appreciate the submission and will
gladly publish it in our upcoming release (May 25, 2000 or thereabouts) if
you will do me the favor of directing me to a web address where I can see
the painting you have reviewed. If published, your copyright information
will remain intact on the piece. >>
Dear Editor: It's a pleasure to contribute to your site with my essay. At the
moment the artist's site is uploading with the corresponding images. It may
take some time before I will be able to direct you to Jaisini's site with
Gleitzeit art. I am sorry for inconvenience. Please feel free to use written
material.
Sincerely,
Yustas Kotz-Gottlieb,
New York
From: Yustas61@aol.com
Date: Thu, 2 Nov 2000 22:34:34 EST
Subject: You are contacted because your comments were published or going to be
published
To: gwd@greeny.org
You are contacted because your comments were published or going to be
published at
<A HREF="http://members.aol.com/JaisiniArt/home.html">
http://members.aol.com/JaisiniArt/home.html</A>
The official Paul Jaisini art site.
Yustas Kotz-Gottlieb
New York
This action is taken on behalf of Gleitzeit, Jaisini to bring high aesthetics
to people.
Jaisini Gleitzeit Supermodernity
-----
"El Nino"
[We don't remember if this has been published before or not, so here it is.]
From: Chili Licious, wait, I mean Lobo Con Queso
Date: 12/10/97
Time: 3:38:36 PM
Remote Name: 207.43.174.87
Comments
now now, el nino's busy in the tropics right now. and he won't be here at all
-- EVER, unless a certain guy who's name begins with a "seth" and ends with a
"the man" GETS OFF HIS ASS AND WRITES A GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING PRESS RELEASE SO
WE CAN FINALLY RELEASE GwD FILES. i tell you, that man is unreliable. too bad
he's so sexy.
whoops, sorry. i forgot that you don't like us to use our gay innuendos out in
the open.
help! help! THEY'RE AFTER ME!!!! make 'em leave me be!
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
woo-hoo! Lobo Licious'li Con Queso in the muthafuckin' haaa-yuse. sheeeee-it. i
just need some warez. and k0d3z. and porno flick bitches.
what does it all mean? i mean, first they want you then they don't then they do
then they don't then they kick you in the crotch and that's that.
and i'm just talking about my parents.
today, i'm here to tell you about donkeys, specifically little plastic ones that
are anatomically correct. ask chico cuba or bob TMoTW what i'm talking about.
"behind every strong woman, you'll find a strong man." - wu-tang clan
grrr. angst. revolution.
From: Lobo Liciousli Con Queso
Date: 12/15/97
Time: 10:49:20 PM
Remote Name: 207.43.174.76
Comments
yo yo, listen up. el nino ain't no fuckin' storm. it's a full-fledged
PHENOMENON, and we, the GwD High Council, CONTROL IT through the use of our
massive orbitting zepellin's.
how do they work? none of your damn business.
GwD - It's not just a movement anymore. (It's a movement that controls a weather
phenomenon.)
From: Lobo Licious
Date: 12/27/97
Time: 1:07:45 AM
Remote Name: 207.43.174.67
Comments
that's it. now it's on. FOR THE LAST TIME, EL NINO IS NOT A STORM. IT IS A
FULL-FLEDGED PHENOMENON. and it's not a little boy. it's named after JESUS
friggin' CHRIST. he is THE little boy. he died for our sins, or so i hear.
anyway, enough of that stuff.
we control El Nino with our zepellins (i don't care if it's spelled right).
you'd be able to read ALL about it if Seth the Man would get off his FUCKING
FAT ASS and WRITE A FUCKING PRESS RELEASE so we can finish gwd55 and RELEASE
FUCKING TEXT FILES.
-----
"A Nightmare" by Jaffo (09-22-00)
I just had a nightmare. A genuine jump-out-of-bed, turn-all-the-lights-on,
bench-clearing nightmare. I was aware that by some magic, I had traveled in my
sleep to a house in West Virginia. It was present day, but in my dream-state, I
knew the history of the place, as if some invisible tour guide was telling me
about it as I walked through in my pajamas.
I started in the back yard, listening to a tale of how the evidence was found.
It was 1905. The Indians came upon the place on October 3rd or 4th, the records
are not clear. The found a house burnt, but not badly burnt, a woman's body
smouldering in the back yard under the bushes.
The fire started there and spread to the rest of the house. No one knows where
the husband went, or why he killed her. In the dream, I'm standing in the yard
of this old house, running my fingers through the soil where the body was. And
in my dream, I am afraid. It's the fear of walking into a haunted house, all
alone, with no one around for miles.
I couldn't see the ghosts, but I could feel them. They were all around me,
waiting to jump out at any moment and yell, "Boo!" Hiding, not to spare my
feelings, but because they know, the longer they wait, the greater my fear.
I stood in the back yard of this haunted house and felt somewhat safe. It was a
normal back yard. Picket fence, sky and trees. A wide open space, not the dark
of night but the gray hours before dawn. I could see beyond the fence to fields
and a city beyond. I knew I wouldn't be trapped here, even if a ghost did pop
out of the ground.
Then I turn and walk inside. Every detail was vivid and distinct. The rusty
creak of the back door. The strange wooden clatter as it slammed behind me. The
squeak of the boards under my feet. And the furniture doesn't looked like it was
burned in 1905. It looks like it was burned yesterday. Not completely. Just
enough to show you it was burned. The fire went out before it could do any real
damage. The house is cinged, but otherwise pristine.
I walk through slowly and I know it's present-day. This place is a tourist
attraction now. I see a sign and a little plaque, and a shiny commercial toilet
in the back. Just another tourist trap somewhere in West Virginia. During the
day, this place would be filled with suburban travelers and screaming kids. But
no one ever comes here at night. In all the years since the Indians found the
place, no one has ever come here at night.
My fear increases as I walk through the house. Through the den and the parlour
and the kitchen full of rusty things. I walk back to the bedroom and I know I'm
being watched. I'm too scared to walk down the hall. That's where the ghosts
are. In the bedroom, waiting for me.
I turn around and run out the front door, seeking the comfort of 20th century
life. I look to the city, and it's too far. It's too far to run, over thistles
and rocks in bare feet. I can see office buildings and parked cars, but they're
too far away. And I didn't hear the front door slam behind me...
And then Michael wakes up, jumps out of bed, turns on all the lights and says,
"Wow! That was really creepy. I should write this down before the feeling goes
away."
-----
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Date: 3/21/99 8:37:35 AM Pacific Daylight Time
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-----
"Stupid C.H.A.O.S. Shit"
33/50....... dslfjdlfljf
Name........ Seth The Man #1
Date........ Thu Apr 18 18:32:13 1996
RE: Don't know...
BY: Lucky Seven #30
Lobo's been busy with school n' stuff, but that's no excuse. I know where he
lives, I say we go lynch him...or better yet, Saturday is prom night, so I say
we go piss on his tuxedo and poke his date. yeah.
[4] [Sub #3]
Read:(1-50,^33),? :
34/50....... jsfkdl;a;jklasfd
Name........ Lucky Seven #30
Date........ Fri Apr 19 04:02:37 1996
RE: dslfjdlfljf
BY: Seth The Man #1
well...I don't know Lobo too well....but i think that he might laugh about
pissing on his tux but he'd probably get pretty pissed off about poking his
date...So do you know who he's going with is she pretty or just pokeable..?
35/50....... dslfjldsjf
Name........ Seth The Man #1
Date........ Fri Apr 19 12:31:45 1996
RE: jsfkdl;a;jklasfd
BY: Lucky Seven #30
poke poke.
40/50....... ahh
Name........ The Red Dragon #9
Date........ Sat Apr 20 18:52:08 1996
RE: Don't know...
BY: Lucky Seven #30
Well. Lobo moved to New York. He is now opposing the DOG POUND and their
song about New York, because he himself has become a gangsta rap artist. He
is currently dating a Korean woman that is attending Columbia University
41/50....... well...
Name........ Lucky Seven #30
Date........ Mon Apr 22 02:15:08 1996
RE: ahh
BY: The Red Dragon #9
> Well. Lobo moved to New York. He is now opposing the DOG POUND and their
> about New York, because he himself has become a gangsta rap artist. Heis
> currently dating a Korean woman that is attending Columbia University
now if that was true...I'd have to celebrate...but i don't think that he's
stupid enough to oppose the _DOGG_ Pound or flattering enough to date someone
from columia university...cause snoop would tear him up and well the second
part is just hilarious...
46/50....... aww yeah,
Name........ Lobo #2
Date........ Mon Apr 22 13:14:07 1996
RE: ahh
BY: The Red Dragon #9
G-Funk-Dog.
> Well. Lobo moved to New York. He is now opposing the DOG POUND and their
> about New York, because he himself has become a gangsta rap artist. Heis
> currently dating a Korean woman that is attending Columbia University
G-Funk-Error: you're wrong. yeah. i ain't moved to New Yoke yet, neee-gro.
i just been there fo a while pimpin the bitches. i be back fo a few weeks n'
shit. yih.
she doesn't go to columbia yet, and i'm not dating her.
47/50.......
Name........ Lobo #2
Date........ Mon Apr 22 13:16:10 1996
RE: well...
BY: Lucky Seven #30
> now if that was true...I'd have to celebrate...but i don't think that he's
> stupid enough to oppose the _DOGG_ Pound or flattering enough to date some
> from columia university...cause snoop would tear him up and well the secon
> part is just hilarious...
awww sheeeit. what da hell's up wit dat shit, neee-gro? best recognize foo'.
i'll bust a cap in yo' ass, beeeyotch.
and why is columbia so hilarious, dork-boy?
-----
@ @
/ \ { _____} / \
/ | \___/*******\___/ | \
( I / ~ ' ~ \ I )
\ | | 0 0 | | /
\ | A | /
\__ _______ __/
\_____________/
_-------* *-------_
/ /--- VAX ---\ \
/ / ( System ) \ \
{ ( ( Gremlin! ) ) }
\ \ | | / /
\ \ | | / /
**** | | ****
//|\\ \_____________/ //|\\
* '*** ***' *
***. .*** ***. .***
'*************' '*************'
-----
From TheeInterNet@HotMail.com Tue Aug 12 13:23:52 1997
Date: Tue, 12 Aug 1997 01:06:19 -0500 (CDT)
From: TheeInterNet@HotMail.com
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com
Subject: mediated capital spectacular enemy
Thee InterNet is not a collection of machines, but a social
relation among people, *mediated* by nothing.
Thee InterNet is *capital* to such a degree of accumulation
that it becomes a machine.
Thee InterNet which eliminates all geographical distance
reproduces distance internally as *spectacular* separation.
InterNet theory is now the *enemy* of all InterNet ideology
and knows it.
-----
From: "Priest" <priest@GREENY.org>
To: Chaoslan@listbot.com
Subject: [chaoslan] bob tmotw is gay
Date: Sun, 25 Mar 2001 01:08:21
ChaosLAN - http://chaos.greeny.org/~chaoslan
Recently, Da_Toolman came to me and complained about the lack of traffic on the
LAN. So, I am bringing forth a topic that should be debatable by all. Is Bob
the Master of the World gay?
Most would right away say, of course not, look at what a pervert he is! I mean,
my God, he talks about circle jerks all the time. Therein lay the first clue.
Overcompensation. He is so scared of admitting his true feelings, that he wants
to be overly boisterously heterosexual to make up for it.
Next clue: Most of you have witnessed the afore-mentioned circle jerks. Have
any of you ever taken the time to notice the look of pure ecstasy that he has in
his eyes when Oscar the Pornographer takes him from behind? For those of you
who have noticed, then you have probably already wondered.
Please comment on this topic and for Bob tMotW, don't hate me for bringing you
out of the closet. Albeit with a gimp gag in your mouth...
priest
-----
***** ******* **
***** ********************* *****
********************************************
**********************************************
** * ****************************** ***
****************
****************
****************
**************
************** *
* ************* *
* ************ *
**** *** * **************** **** ** ****
********************************************************
Have a Nice Day.
-----
Date: Mon, 23 Mar 1998 17:16:28 -0500
From: matt <matt@yeahwhatever.com>
Subject: The TechnoSurrealist Manifesto
To: <undisclosed recipients>
For Immediate Release, March 23, 1998
Technorealism Is Dead! Long Live TechoSurrealism!
Disinformation, the Subculture Search Engine, Presents The 'TechnoSurrealist
Manifesto,' by R.U. Sirius
Treatise Heralds New Disinfo.com Feature: 'A REVOLTING! Fireside Chat with R.U.
Sirius'
The Technorealism Conference held at Harvard on March 19, 1998 prompted spirited
debate near and far, here and there, hither and thither. Now, in answer to the
Technorealism "manifesto" (www.technorealism.org), REVOLTING! executive editor
R.U. Sirius has penned the 'TechoSurrealist Manifesto,' available for mass
consumption at Disinformation (www.disinfo.com).
Surely a rant to stand alongside The Gettysburg Address, JFK's Berlin Wall
speech and that "Give me liberty or give me death" thing that the other guy
said, the TechnoSurrealist Manifesto skewers the Technorealism group's screed
with a considerably less "modest" proposal featuring hefty doses of satirical
mischief and revolutionary mayhem.
While existing perfectly well as a standalone document (much like The Bible!),
the 'TechnoSurrealist Manifesto' also marks the debut of the newest feature on
Disinformation, 'A REVOLTING! Fireside Chat with R.U. Sirius.' Is he Sirius?
Is he for (sur)real? You'll just have to read it to find out.
R.U. Sirius is best known as co-founder and original Editor-In-Chief of Mondo
2000, the first cyberculture magazine. His current website, REVOLTING!
(www.revolting.com) opened in mid-July 1997 to instant acclaim and controversy.
A regular columnist for Wired News, 21C, and EYE-COM, he also coauthored
'Design For Dying' with the legendary Dr. Timothy Leary (HarperEdge, June 1997).
Disinformation, the subculture search engine, is located at
http://www.disinfo.com. Editor Richard Metzger is also the host of The Infinity
Factory webcast talk show on Pseudo Network at http://pseudo.com.
Disinformation is currently preparing for the opening of its online media store,
details of which will be announced shortly. Disinformation is part of the RSUB
Network (http://www.rsub.com), a division of Razorfish.
For more information on Disinformation, contact Matt Debenham at RLM:
(212) 741-5106 x14, or e-mail matt@yeahwhatever.com.
-----
Date: Mon, 26 Mar 2001 02:10:14 +0000
From: PC Privacy <pcprivacy2001@yahoo.com>
Subject: 23 Fired from Microsoft for Surfing Habits! Protect your Privacy today!
To: gwd@greeny.org
Did you know... that your computer is spying on you? Did you know for example
that every click you make on Windows 98 Start Menu is logged and stored
permanently on a hidden encrypted database within your own computer? And did
you know there is a program that can protect you one click?
http://microcomputers.at/pcprivacy
Deleting "internet cache and history", will not protect you...your PC is keeping
frightening records of both your online and off-line activity. Any of the Web
Pages, Pictures, Movies, Videos, Sounds, E-mail and Everything Else you or
anyone else have ever viewed could easily be recovered - even many yearslater!
How would you feel if somebody snooped this information out of your computer and
made it public? Do your children or their friends use your computers? What have
they downloaded and tried to delete? Act now! And stop these files coming "back
from the dead" to haunt you!
http://microcomputers.at/pcprivacy
You deserve a far more rewarding and safer Internet experience!
Start to enjoy the benefits of a truly clean and faster "Like New" PC! Download
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All over America people are losing there jobs, going to prison, or worse! click
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a lot more than you think
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[GwD does not endorse this software, nor do we make any claims about the
reality of the allegations made above. We merely think it's funny that we get
e-mails like this.]
-----
Date: Thu, 3 Dec 1998 00:43:22 -0500 (EST)
From: "HOE E'zine" <dto@extra.commkey.net>
To: The HOE Mailing List: ;
Subject: HOE #300 RELEASED!
THE BEGINNING OF MY ONSLAUGHT HAS JUST BEGUN. THE HOE PAGE NOW
FEATURES A BBS, NEW WRITER BIOS, AND OTHER FEATURES. I HAVE CAPTURED MOST
OF YOUR PATHETIC "FREEDOM FIGHTERS" AND THEY, TOO, WILL BE HOSTAGES.
Here's their latest release of revolutionary-flavored t-files (12/3/98):
Issue #299-305
"POETRY EXPLOSION 2!"
by Various Artists
"Meet The Writers"
by The HOE Staff
"The BIG-ASS Story"
by Various Artists
"Christian Science"
by Ramsey String
"Harlan Ellison Responds in an Out of Context and Pointless
Manner to an Equally Out of Context and Pointless Usenet Capture"
by Squinky
"Space People"
by Aster
"Rise of The Mogels, The Final Chapter"
by Trilobyte
AS ALWAYS, THE HOE URL IS http://www.dto.net/hoe/ AND WE HAVE FIXED THE FTP
ARCHIVE WHICH IS ftp://ftp.dto.net/pub/ -- DO NOT BE STEPPIN'.
PEACE OUT.
-ZV
-----
"Part of a 'Legend of the Red Dragon' Log"
Theiving Skills Training
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The old man sits down at a table with you. "Do you know how to
play the shell game?" he asks you. Without waiting for an
answer, he goes on. "I'll move these shells around really fast
while you try to watch which one the gold is under." You watch
closely as the old man gets ready to start.
<MORE>
Theiving Skills Training - The Shell Game
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Watch the shells closely!
/哪哪腬 /哪哪腬 /哪哪腬
/ \ / \ / \
哪哪哪哪� 哪哪哪哪� 哪哪哪哪�
谀哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪目
滥� 谀哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪目 谀哪哪�
<MORE> $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ The old man
looks at you expentantly. "Well, which one is it in?"
You tell him [1,2,3]: 2
$
<MORE>
Theiving Skills Training
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The old man sighs discontently. "The gold was under the
first shell. That's the problem with you young folks.
You can't concentrate on anything, you're always on the move.
You won't even settle down long enough to play a game."
<MORE>
Other Options
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
(1) The Village of the Phoenix
(2) Travel To Barak's House
(3) Skill Training Center
(4) The Dragon's Claw Tavern
(5) The Arena Of Lords.
(6) Lets Have Fun w/Math!
(7) Journey to the Castle of L.O.R.D.
(8) Free World
(9) Kanen's Lotto Hut
Whats your pleasure? : [Q] :
-----
Date: Fri, 16 Mar 2001 23:59:44 +0800
From: Christine Hall<return@trafficmagnet.net>
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com; stm@greeny.org
Subject: LOBO.SNAKEDEN.ORG
Hello,
I visited lobo.snakeden.org and I noticed that you are not listed on some
search engines. I am sure you can increase the number of people who visit
lobo.snakeden.org . Do you know TrafficMagnet? TrafficMagnet is a unique
technology that automatically submits your web site to over 300,000+ search
engines and directories every month. This is a very low-cost and effective way
of advertising your site.
To check our prices and submit lobo.snakeden.org to 300,000+ search engines, go
to TrafficMagnet.net
I would love to hear from you.
Best Regards,
Christine Hall
Sales & Marketing
www.TrafficMagnet.net
[as you can see above, both Seth and Lobo received this e-mail. Interesting,
since Seth has nothing whatsoever to do with maintenance of lobo.snakeden.org.]
-----
46/50: .
Name: Franken Gibe #1
Date: 7:16 pm Mon Dec 19, 1994
Hi. The topic I was interested very much in pursuing is the topic concerning
the obselescence of the Bulletin Board System. I think this is wrong and I am
sad about it very much. For instance, take this Bulletin Board System, for
example, entitled The Kingdom of Shit Bulletin Board System (or BBS for
short). It is a vital communications nexus and it is very popular among the
young and the old alike. It does not matter that it is not part of the
so-called "Information Superhighway" that is being so widely talked of in
today's mass media journals and such. It does not matter because it is a good
place, and fun, to be, with friends, I think, and very personal, unlike The
Internet which is big and large, with thousands of so-called "users."
Perhaps you yourself would care to contribute to this very important topic
right here on this Bulletin Board System. That would be very good! Thank you.
The "Sysop."
-----
From: Seth Thornberry <solice@iglobal.net>
To: "'lobolicious@cyberdude.com'" <lobolicious@cyberdude.com>
Subject: bull shit
Date: Fri, 24 Oct 1997 18:42:01 -0500
Green ninja boots are the shit.
-----
##############################################################
## ##
## Bill's K-K00l Karakter Konverter ##
## ##
#####[ Programmed By: Bill Hooper - 1994 ]####################
-[Disclaimer]-
You are using this program at your own risk. I claim no
responsibility for any damage that is inflicted on you computed or any data.
If this file is in its original state, it is free of virii, destructive
code, etc...
-[Introduction]-
This is a VERY simple program that was written in a matter of approx.
two hours, which was mostly typing. I had no real use for this program,
though boredom can cause people to do strange things. The only use I could
think of might be in BBS ads, if you happen to like weird text..
-[How To Use This Program]-
I seriously doubt anyone will have trouble comprehending the simple
commands in this program. This is due to the fact that there are no command
line switches, and no real commands required. When the program asks you for
the name of the input file, enter the path name of the file you want to
konvert. The full path is not necessary for files in the same directory as
the program. The output file is the name of the file that will contain the
konverted text. If any of these entries are invalid the program will tell
you so, and terminate execution.
-[Possible Errors]-
The only errors I could think of would be the presence of extended
ASCII in the input file. The program will just leave it out in the konverted
file. Can't think of any others, though if you find any, please e-mail me.
-[Conclusion]-
I would appreciate e-mail regaring this program, and any suggestions
that you might have. If you are going to e-mail me to tell me how much this
program sucked and how it wasn't worth the 5 seconds to DL, va te faire
encouler. I can be reached at the following BBSs with some regularity.
[Static Line] [Sysop: Acid Reptile] [Phone: (806)747-0802]
[The Steel Zoo] [Sysop: Ramslammer] [Phone: (806)792-6377]
Oh ya, almost forgot, you can't get rid of the little tag at the
end of the file (unless you delete it), yet.
[This program will be available at http://www.GREENY.org/warez/warez.html
as soon as we get around to it.]
-----
Date: Wed, 26 Nov 1997 00:23:34 -0500 (EST)
From: Doomed to Obscurity Productions <dto@Op.Net>
Subject:
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com
Hi. This letter is for everyone on the Doomed to Obscurity mailing
list, because as you might have seen or heard, Doomed to Obscurity
has undergone major evolution. We now present to you DTO.NET central, at
http://www.dto.net
DTO began in the summer of 1995 as a text-based e-mail zine conceived
by a handful of latent geeks from the Philadelphia, Chicago, and downstate
Illinois areas. Since then, 23 monthly issues have brought rave reviews and
high acclaim from a very small pocket of the online community. Because we
believe that what we offer should be shared with as many people as we can
reach, the text 'zine was converted into a web zine, with positive response.
Now, we're taking the concept one step further.
The types of writing that you have come to identify as DTO staples
are still right here, divided into editorial, fiction, humor, and music
sites. Instead of monthly releases, DTO.NET central will be updated at
least weekly. Additionally, the site has been designed to encourage
interaction between readers and writers. DTO should no longer feel like a
production released by a few geeks from who knows where.
As before, you'll still receive a monthly text release of DTO
containing all the articles featured on the website in the past month, in
ASCII text format. This means there's no *real* change for you on this
list -- the purpose of this mail is just to inform you of the improved
website and that DTO will now be releasing weekly articles there.
Check out the site. Hopefully, both the aesthetics and the content
of the site will be appealing - after all, this is our goal. We think we're
doing a pretty damn fine job of achieving that goal, but let us know what
you think about the change. We'd appreciate any and all feedback.
Thanks for being a DTO reader. You should expect the long overdue
DTO #24 in your mailbox this weekend. Have a good vacation.
- Mogel [dto@op.net]
-----
"Eagles are FUN!"
/T /I
/ |/ | .-~/
T\ Y I |/ / _
/T | \I | I Y.-~/
I l /I T\ | | l | T /
__ | \l \l \I l __l l \ ` _. |
\ ~-l `\ `\ \ \\ ~\ \ `. .-~ |
\ ~-. "-. ` \ ^._ ^. "-. / \ |
.--~-._ ~- ` _ ~-_.-"-." ._ /._ ." ./
>--. ~-. ._ ~>-" "\\ 7 7 ]
^.___~"--._ ~-{ .-~ . `\ Y . / |
<__ ~"-. ~ /_/ \ \I Y : |
^-.__ ~(_/ \ >._: | l______
^--.,___.-~" /_/ ! `-.~"--l_ / ~"-.
(_/ . ~( /' "~"--,Y -=b-. _)
(_/ . \ : / l c"~o \
\ / `. . .^ \_.-~"~--. )
(_/ . ` / / ! )/
/ / _. '. .': / '
~(_/ . / _ ` .-<_
/_/ . ' .-~" `. / \ \ ,z=.
~( / ' : | K "-.~-.______//
"-,. l I/ \_ __{--->._(==.
//( \ < ~"~" //
/' /\ \ \ ,v=. ((
.^. / /\ " }__ //===- `
/ / ' ' "-.,__ {---(==-
.^ ' : T ~" ll -Row
/ . . . : | :! \\
(_/ / | | j-" ~^
~-<_(_.^-~"
-----
From: j4636@mailcity.com
Date: Mon, 17 May 1999 17:14:02 +0100
Subject: Is this you
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com
Are you BRITISH ,
or do you know a Brit whom you would like to help?
If you are from UK, and now working in another country, there is probably money
of yours stagnating in UK which you could be accessing and improving.
We are talking about your Frozen Pension Funds
New laws allow you the freedom to help yourself.
You can now escape from former employers, hold on your benefits, where you are
only receiving part of the growth on your funds.
They are quite legally entitled to restrict the amount passed on to you and
pocket the difference.
Click our web site to obtain a free update and a full review of your latest
options
http://3634119887/www.35546778.net/
[Yet again, GwD makes no claims as to the validity of the claims above, or the
effectiveness of the service listed. We just want to know why people think
we're stinky-ass Brits. Uhh, and I'm lazy, so any other stuff that appears to
be "advertised" in this issue is not endorsed by GwD, nor are any claims
whatsoever made about whether it works as described. These are just a sampling
of the weird e-mails received by your run-of-the-mill pseudo-religious/quasi-
political organization.]
-----
"Swordfish"
SWORDFISH ARE FUN!!!!
/|
/ | /|
/ | / |
/ \ / /
____---~~~~ ~~~~~-------_______ / |
____________----~~~ O \ ~~~~~----_____----~~ |
~~~~~~~--_____ ) _____ |
__--~~~ / _____----~~~~~~------ \
~~~~~~----_\ \____________--------~~~~~ \ |
\ \ \ |
\| \|
-----
50/50: .
Name: Franken Gibe #1
Date: 1:31 pm Tue Jan 18, 1994
sigh.
Say NO to co-dependence. Say NO to emotional entanglement and manipulation.
Say NO to martyrdom disguised as victimization. Say NO to people who refuse to
say NO, but wrap a noose of indifferent maybe's around yer neck and hang you
high. Say NO to Bobbitry. Say NO to the hell that's other people. Say NO to
the dissipation effected by the DIS. Say FUCK IT to the dime-store
Victorianism that is unrequited love.
Say YEAH to forgetting about it.
-----
Date: Fri, 25 Feb 2000 22:15:09 -0600
From: Robert Gowdey <rgowde@parknet.pmh.org>
Subject: sup
To: lobo@GREENY.org
This is Robert Gowdey
The Red Dragon
just dropping a msg
lates
-----
Numb : 24/40
Subj : Re: duh-duh-dumb
From : Grandmaster Ratte' (#1)
Date : 01/14/95 03:58:17 AM
Zippy done said:
ZI> we still gotta hafta feel needed/wanted etc. That makes us
ZI> vulnerable and weak and worthless and we suck.
Yeah, true. And it sucks. I mean, i understand that and all, but...
I've been thinking about priorities and what's real and stuff.
People NEED food and water and shelter. And toothpaste.
ANYTHING people get beyond that, social or material or whatever, is like
a blessing/gift and oughta be appreciated for the fuzzy, neato thing that
it is.
Say, earlier Friday night... this band i was supposed to record cancelled so I'm
out some bucks 'till they can get their crap together and reschedule. Some girl
doesn't like me. And I have the fucking AUDACITY to feel down about this...
this FLUFF, 'cause big-fun-social-or-romantic things going on aren't just
LEAPING at me. Well PLEASE excuse the world, Mr. Brat. Sheez. I should be
down on my knees thanking some greater power that I've gone somewhere earlier
and been warmly greeted by people I like and respect.
that's somethin' hella cool right there.
S. Ratte'
-----
From: noogie@onramp.net (Jaffo)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Subject: Re: What Would Castro Do?
Organization: Crossroads Entertainment
In alt.religion.kibology, on Tue, 12 May 1998 03:46:51 GMT, The
Barrels said:
:The year is 1998.
:
:Suppose, for an instant, that Christ is driving north on a highway at
:twenty-five miles an hour, in a 1989, grey escort lx. He's wearing a
:skin-tight shirt and leather pants, along with a small, pink,
:triangular patch which reads 'bisexuals are people, too'.
:
:Fidel Castro meets Christ to his left, travelling at ninety miles an
:hour, in a 1998, red dodge viper. At least four but no more than six
:women of slight promiscuity adorn his presence.
:
:The question which was posed to me is this: 'If Christ were to say
:one thing to Castro, and then Castro one thing to Christ, what would
:these things be?'
CHRIST: Status report?
CASTRO: On schedule.
Jaffo
-----
goat blowers anonymous.(215)750-0392.up to 28.8k phor phast warez!
admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery
staff.black francis(sysop).mogel(co-sysop).spiff(co-sysop).godd(mascot)
largest t-file oriented board in pennsylvania.over 150 guitar tabs online
large online collection of live virii.virii source.virii creation.anti-virus
five-hundred megs of t-files.demos.bbs support.programming.virii.sound
hogs of entropy whq.really elite doodz whq.people in society suck whq
cult of the dead cow global domination fdo.vaginal and anal secretions distro
brotherhood of gods and retards distro.ganja magazine distro.ace distro
fucked up college kids distro.underground experts united distro.moose distro
state of unbeing distro.greeny world domination distro.image writing distro
mighty illicit liquid kollectors distro.computer abuse for better living distro
immortal programming distro.cia member board.bonsainet.eat at joes
-----
"What Do You Think?" - Reprinted from _The Solipsist: San Antonio's News &
Literary Journal_ (December 2000)
Should America Intervene in Israeli-Palestinian Disputes?
Joseph Stalin: Why seek out warring nations when there is so much killing to be
done in homeland?
Adolph Hitler: It will all be of little consequence once my followers are able
to raise me from the dead. Bwa ha ha.
Mao Tse-Tung: War is the highest form of struggle for resolving contradictions,
when they have developed to a certain stage, between classes,
nations, states, or political groups, and it has existed ever
since the emergence of private property and classes. Kill them
all.
Pol Pot: Once I fashioned a pair of underwear by weaving some human intestines
together around my loins.... What was the question?
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Eww! Arabs' balls are salty!
-----
Date: 4:19 pm Mon May 8, 1995 Number : 48 of 51
From: Napalm Base : 007 was a w@r3z d00d
To : Prince Locksly Refer #: 32
Subj: Re: Luke Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
PL> Good shall always triumph over evil
That's a naive assumption based on wishful thinking rather than experience or
observation.
Good triumphs sometimes, and evil triumphs sometimes. It's all just part of
the ever-changing balance of the world. Good/Bad, Light/Dark, Yin/Yang,
Hodge/Podge... Blah/Bleah, Woof/Meow, what have you.
-----
"BATGIRL"
@@ @@
@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@
@@@@:::@ @@@@@@@@@ @:::@@@@
@@:::::::@ @:::::::@ @:::::::@@
@:::::::::@ @:::::::@ @:::::::::@
@:::::::::::@ @:::::::::@ @:::::::::::@
@:::::::::::::@@ @@:::::::::::@@ @@:::::::::::::@
@:::::::::::::::@@@@@@@@@@@:::::::::::::::@@@@@@@@@@@:::::::::::::::@
@:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@
@:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@
@:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@
@::::::::::::@@@@:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@@@@::::::::::::@
@::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::::@
@::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::@
@@::::::@ @:::::::::::::::::@:::::::::::::::::@ @::::::@@
@@::::@ @::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::::::::::@ @::::@@
@@:@ @::::::::::::::::@ @::::::::::::::::@ @::@
@@ @:::::::::::::::@ @:::::::::::::::@ @@
@ @@::::::::::::@@ @@::::::::::::@@ @
@@::::::::@@ @@::::::::@@
@@@::@@@ @@@::@@@
@@ @@
-----
From: lori69aaaaaaaa@edf.fr
To: gwd@greeny.org
Subject: DO YOU NEED TO GET OFF?
Date: Sat, 24 Mar 01 16:05:38 Eastern Standard Time
DO YOU NEED TO GET OFF?
GOTO http://3429235685/harold001/ IF YOUR ANSWER IS YES
TO SATISFY YOUR URGE!!
WATCH HOT TEENS MASTERBATE DO ANYTHING YOU WANT
AND CAN IMAGE! WATCH HOT EUROPEAN TEENS DO IT LIVE!!
GET INSTANT ACCESS TO
http://3429235685/harold001/ THE BEST HARDCORE SEX ACTION ON
THE PLANET GUARANTEED!!
THIS SITE IS VERY HARDCORE SO YOU MUST BE OVER 18
-----
- "Ads for a Defunct BBS" by Zippy -
"Commercial firms enable subscribers using a computer and a telephone to send a
message to electronic bulletin boards; a person can thus post on the bulletin
board a message that is open to all subscribers. This has led to so-called
electronic debates on religious matters. A Christian might be drawn into such
debates and may spend many hours with an apostate thinker who may have been
disfellowshipped from the congregation. The direction at 2 John 9-11
underscores Paul's fatherly counsel about avoiding bad associations."
--_The WatchTower_ magazine, August 1, 1994, p17.
/--------------------\
|>=<Club Baby Seal>=<|
\--------------------/
Metro line 806.###.####
SysOp 0 * Zippy SysOp 1 * Poppy
-----
/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
\ >=club.baby.seal<= /
\ ------806.###.####------ /
| This ain't no BBS where |
/ Jesus is Lord \
/________________________________\
/-----------------------------------------------------------------------------\
|Je$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ai|
|n'tJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u/----\LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u|
|sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL|
|ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| cl |LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u|
|$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| ub |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL|
|ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$A/-----------/ ba \-----------\'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u|
|sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLor砅CBoard15.21 by ChiaNetR0kkz|e$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL|
|ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$A\-----------\ se /-----------/'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u|
|sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| al |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL|
|ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| 80 |LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u|
|sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| 6# |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL|
|ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| ## |LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u|
|sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| ## |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL|
|ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u| ## |LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u|
|sAin'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL| |u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tL|
|ordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u\----/LordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u|
|Je$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ain'tLordJe$u$Ai|
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------/
-----
"The Donkey and the Elephant" a "parable" by Priest (Pre-Election 2000)
The question put to me sounds rather complicated. "Considering the current
topics of debate by the two presidential candidates, which form of organization
of government do you believe is more apt to provide needed leadership in these
topics?" In essence, what I plan to do is this-I will use planned actions for
issues by both candidates to show which form of organization will be the most
effective in the years to come for America. I think that sounds much easier to
follow, with no slight of hand, or exaggeration on my part; we will leave that
to the candidates!
First, the possible forms of organization for the government of the United
States of America. "A confederacy is a union of states, which retain all
sovereignty. The authority of the central government is derived from the states
which can, at will, redefine its authority." (Patterson, The American
Democracy, pg. 60) This basically says that in a confederacy, the states keep
all the power of government and no power rests at the national level; in other
words, no central government.
A unitary system, by way of contrast, is the complete opposite. "In a
unitary system, all regional and local governing units are subject to national
authority. The people are citizens or subjects only of the national government
and the other governments derive their authority from the national government,
which can, in theory at least, abolish them or redefine their authority."
(Patterson, The American Democracy, pg. 60) That seems pretty cut and dry in
that all power rests with the central government and the local or state
government retains no power except what the national government deigns to dole
out.
And finally, we come to federalism, which is a blending of the two.
Patterson, once again, states the following, "Federalism is the division of
sovereignty, or ultimate governing authority, between a national government and
regional (that is, state) governments. Each directly governs the people and
derives its power from them. (Patterson, The American Democracy, pg. 59) With
that taken care of, we move on to the candidates and their platforms.
Since the donkey strikes first on the alphabet, we will discuss Al Gore
first. The only issue we will discuss is education and the reason is this:
with what Gore wants to accomplish, only one form is usable, therefore rendering
the other two useless. Gore wants to raise enormous amounts of money and use it
to hire more teachers and in doing so, lower the number of students per
classroom. "Gore will finish the job of hiring one hundred thousand qualified
teachers to lower class sizes in the early grades...Gore's plan will provide
funding to help raise teacher salaries in school districts that commit to
improving teacher quality." (The Official Gore-Lieberman 2000 Website) Since
Education is something that is currently handled at the state level, and since
Gore's new funding would be provided from a national standpoint, then clearly a
separation of power is needed. Since neither is currently handled from just one
level or the other, then to change one or the other would be most unbeneficial.
From Gore's platform, only federalism will do the job. Unitarianism, and
especially confederacy are simply not up to the task.
George W. Bush makes our task even easier. When concerning his plans for
the environment, he openly states his need for federalism. "As President,
Governor Bush will maintain a strong federal environmental role but will return
significant authority to states and local governments." (The Official
Bush-Cheney 2000 Website) Governor Bush believes that the state governments
have a greater ability to enforce standards set by the national government.
However, without a strong national governmental role, the states would not be
required to enforce said standards. One could not function without the other.
Once again, Unitarianism and Confederacy would not be up to the task.
Although it is too late to make a long story short, I will try to briefly
summarize. Of the three types of governments possible for the United States,
Unitarianism, Confederacy, and Federalism, only Federalism is the best and
therefore most likely choice for the future of America. By the simple
examination of only one of each of the candidates' platform issues, we see that
each candidate requires strength at both the state and national level. Only
Federalism has the necessary separation of powers.
Federalism, the choice of a new millennium.
-----
#XXXX\\ #/---`
###XXX// - \\\-##= - \\\
##XX///-` ` -- \\##- \ \\
###XX//- = \ #/ - - \\
###XX//- # #= = = ||
###XX |##- / #X- ==||
##XX /(((#\ /(()))))))))))|/
##X| | #-/ | | ||=====\\)
##X| | #-/ | | ||------ \)
#|| | #- | | || | |
\|| | | | | || | |
|| | | | | || | |
|| | | | | ||_______/)
|| | | | | ||=====//)
|| | | | | ||
|| | | | | ||
\| | | | | |/
===| | | |====
===============
-----
50/50: .
Name: Franken Gibe #1
Date: 7:00 pm Fri Dec 30, 1994
I was looking at the Zlog because IT IS NECESSARY TO TRY TO FILL THE VACANT
YAWN AT THE DEAD CENTER OF MY LIFE, and discovered to my delighted melancholy,
or melancholic delight, that on July 19th, 1994, there were fifty-three posts
executed on the /<os. Fifty-three IN ONE SINGLE DAY. Man. What the FUCK was
going on on July 19th? I wasn't even in town. I think I was in the wastes of
British Columbia. WHY WERE THERE SO MANY POSTS? Was it 'cuz i was gone? Was
there some controversy or argument or crazy ranting?
-----
"Evil Corporations" by Jaffo
FIGHT THE EVIL, EXPANSIONIST MEGA-CORPORATIONS!
This is what I get for waking up too early on a Sunday morning. I'm watching
CARTOONS.
And I just found ANOTHER cartoon where the brave, true of heart, Eco-Hero is
using his super-knifty power suit to FIGHT THE EVIL EXPANSIONIST MEGA
CORPORATIONS seeking to DESTROY THE ENVIORMENT in their EVIL pursuit of
BUSINESS and PROFITS!
OUR HERO has found a magical LEAF that can EAT POISON and suck up all the EVIL
POLLUTION that the EVIL EXPANSIONIST MEGA CORPORATIONS have spread through the
earth in their EVIL pursuit of BUSINESS and PROFITS!
We all know that all corporations are EVIL EXPANSIONIST greedy BASTARDS that
seek the destruction of our precious EARTH to further their own goals and earn
EVIL GREEDY CORPORATE PROFITS!
We all know that EVIL CORPORATE BASTARDS like BILL GATES run around setting fire
to rainforests and KICKING OLD PEOPLE IN THE GUT!
Then he smiles his EVIL GREEDY CORPORATE SMILE and runs away...LAUGHING!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
"Soon," Bill says, "I will rule THE WORLD! After I take over the PC SOFTWARE
MARKET I can proceed to my real goal of DESTROYING THE ENVIRONMENT!"
WaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Who can SAVE us from these evil, gr-- (oops)....these EVIL GREEDY CORPORATE
BASTARDS!?!
We must turn to our very own ECO HEROES! We must call upon the mighty powers of
GOODNESS and DECENCY!
We must call WHOOPI GOLDBERG and TED DANSON to put on their knifty-Eco-Hero-
Power-Suits and FIGHT the (deep breath) EVIL GREEDY EXPANSIONIST CORPORATE
BASTARDS!
We must teach our children not to be swayed by offers of WEALTH and POWER. They
must persue honorable occupations like joining the PEACE CORPS or becoming
POLITCALLY CORRECT ECO-ACTORS!!!!!
This has been a public service announcement sponsored by the SOCIETY TO KEEP
EVIL GREEDY CORPORATE BASTARDS FROM DESTROYING THE ENVIORMENT!!!
(...and a grant from the epa)
END RIDICULOUS TIRADE
(Whew. That was a lotta CAPS. I'm so f*cking sick of these st00pid, badly
drawn, formula ECO CARTOONS that I could just PUKE.
And besides that, the air conditioner in my apartment is not working, so Jaffo
is HOT!!)
["He sure is!" quipped Seth The Man]
-----
"BLHEPG Stuff" [all BLHEPG releases (past, present, and future) will soon be
distributed exclusively through GwD]
******************************************************************************
**** Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild ****
******************************************************************************
The Guild was formed on October 20, 1994 during 'Administrative Cluster'
(Home Room) at Lubbock High School. Lobo and Bill Hooper had just finished
the practice exit-level TAAS test (a lame test needed to graduate from HS).
Anyway, both being in Computer Science I, they decided to put their minimal
but ever-growing skills in TurboPascal (and Bill's knowledge of C++) to better
use than writing programs that convert Celsius to Fahrenheit or calculate the
price of a car. Thus, the Guild was formed. We have nothing better to do
than sit around and program useless stuff during CS I, so we made a useless
stuff programmers group. We are a union, in that we make $8.50 an hour
(minimum of 4 hours work) for anything we do. Of course, since we'll just be
writing shareware programs, we'll probably never make any money, unless
someone actually likes our stuff enough to pay the small registration fee, if
there is one. This isn't turning out to be a very good story. Sorry. As of
now, the Guild is accepting no new members. Maybe later......
If you want to know anything more, please fell-free to ask Lobo or Bill. If
you're lucky, we might just get around to answering. Heh.
******************************************************************************
Bill And Lobo's Hyper Elite Programmers Guild Release List
As Of 4-2?-95
Name: The Slack Test
Programmer: Lobo
Desc: Are You a real slacker? Take this test and find out! Coded by lobo,
based on a subgenius text file..
Ver: .01<?>
Name: Number Crap
Programmer: Lobo
Desc: Register another program, and get this invaluable util for FREE!
Ver: .01
Name: K-RAD CL0CK
Programmer: Lobo
Desc: Another FREE util with registration..
Ver: .01
Name: Disk Access
Programmer: Bill Hooper
Desc: Protect access to your computer with more than a password program, but
allow people to have access disk to enter your system... Multiple return
values allow batch file calling with variable results. Supports 99 users..
Reccomended for security conscious people.
Ver: .01, .05, .1
Name: The F___ing Censor
Programmer: Bill Hooper
Desc: Thinking of taking text files to school, but afraid of getting in
trouble for the language present? If you said yes, this program is for
you! Quickly and easily dashes out all words specified in a updatable
data file! A must for any person who wishes to spread the knowledge, without
the punishment..
Ver: .01
Name: The Quick Label
Programmer: Bill Hooper
Desc: Do you find yourself repeatedly typing long headers and footers on
textfiles of yours? Do you incessantly hit Ctrl-Ins And Shift-Ins, cutting
and pasteing your text file group headers? This program is for you! The
Quick Label Will Swiftly Add either a header or footer, loaded from an
external file, to a specified text file! Works great, less filling!(uhh..ya)
Ver: .01
Name: Multi Encrypt
Programmer: Bill Hooper
Desc: Not Released Yet... Offers A simple encryption, capable of foiling
amature hacker/crackers..
Ver: N/A
Name: Warez Writer
Programmer: Bill Hooper
Desc: C0/\/\/3r+ Y0|_|r +3x+ F!l35 +0 +h!5 \/\/@r3z +3x+ Q|_|!c/<ly
@/\/d P@!/\/l355ly.. Gr3@+..
Ver: .01
---
**** Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild ****
This is the Guild's Advertisement. If they can do this
in a negiligible amount of time, guess what they can do
when they actually try!
*******************************************************
******************************************************************************
**** Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild ****
******************************************************************************
This is an advertisement for the Guild. Simply type 'guildad' at the
main prompt, and you will be looking at the advertisement. Please note that
the ASCII version is longer than one screen, so for the full effect, you might
want to choose the 'print' option instead of the screen option. However, if
you don't have your printer on you'll get a 'runtime' error. If this happens,
turn on the printer and re-execute the program. Hell, you should choose the
'print' option, if only to make posters! Put them up all over town! Yeah!
(Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild officially exempts itself from
any costs or fees to pay for cleanup of posters bearing our name.) Anyway,
plase be on the lookout for releases from the Guild in the near future.
--------------------
DISCLAIMER: This advertisement should be run on a 386 or higher or the Memory
Expansion Utility (MemConfig) will take a hell of a long time to
run, and you will get really bored waiting.
--------------------
GUILDAD.ZIP Should contain:
GUILDAD.EXE
GUILDAD.DOC (this file. duh.)
FILE_ID.DIZ
GUILDAD.ASC (k-rad ASCII ad. Neat.)
GUILD.TXT (the story behind the Guild)
If the zip you got this in does not, contact Lobo or Bill Hooper.
Accept no substitutes!
***** REGISTRATION *****
You MUST register GuildAd. Lots of time (tee-hee) went into making it. The
registration fee is minimal: simply give $25.69 to Lobo. Contact him through
e-mail, and he'll set up a drop-off location. No meetings will occur, because
he is rather anti-social.
--------
We're on the InterNet! E-mail us here:
Lobo: t9scm@ttacs.ttu.edu
Bill Hooper: pedsdn@tthsc.ttu.edu
Or contact us one or the other of us on just about any local (806) board.
******************************************************************************
[an ASCII version of the ad appears below]
$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$
$$ $$
$$ $$
$$ $$
$$ $$
$$ $$
$$ $$
$$ $$
$$ $$ =
$$ $$ = =
$$$$$$$$$$$ ######## @ @ = = !!!!!! ()()()()()
$$ $$ # @ @ @ = = ! ! ()
$$ $$ # @ @ @ @ = = ! ! ()
$$ $$ # @ @ @ @ ========= ! ! ()
$$ $$ #### @ @ @ @ = = !!!!!! ()()()()
$$ $$ # @ @ @ @ = = ! ! ()
$$ $$ # @ @ @ @ = = ! ! ()
$$ $$ # @@ @@ = === ! ! ()
$$ $$ ######## @ @ @ = == ! !! ()()()()()
$$ $$ $ ### ## # @ @ = = !! )()()()(
$$$$$$$$$$$ $ ### # # @ @ @ = = = ! ! )( ()( (
$$$$$$$$$$$ ## # # @ @ = = ! ! ! ( ()(
$$$$$$$$ $$ $ # # @ @ = = = ! ! ) ()( )
$$ $$$ $$ # # @ @ = ! ) )(
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$$$ $ # # # @ = ! ! ) () )
$ # @ = ()
$ $ # @ @ @ = ! ! (
$ $ @ = ! ! )
$ = )
$ $ @ = = ! ()
$ !! ! ) )(
$ @ = ! (
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*
It's Coming........
BBBBBBB lll lll
B B l l
B B iii l l
B B iii l l
B B l l &&
BBBBBBB iii l l &
B B i l l &
B B i l l &
B B i l l &
B B i l l &&&&& && &&&& &&&&&
BBBBBBB iii lll lll & & && & & &
& & & & & &
& & & & & &
LLL bb & & & & & &
L b &&&& & &&& && &&&& &
L b '''
L b '''
L oo bbb oo '' ssss
L o o b b o o s s
L o o b b o o s
L o o b b o o ssss
L o o b b o o s
L L o o b b o o s s
LLLLLLLL oo bbb oo ssss
--- ---
| |
| |
| |
| |
|-----| - - |----\ -----| |----\
| | \ / | | | | | /-----------/
| | \_/ |----/ |--| |----/ / /
| | | | |--| | \ /-----------/
| | | | | | \
_|_ _|_ _|_ _|_ _|___| _|_ _\_
--------| ---
| | ___
| | _ | |
| | / \ | |
| | \_/ __| |___ ______
|----| | --- /__ ___\ / __ \
| | | | | | |__| |
| | | | | | _____|
| | | | | ___ | | ___
| | | | |__| | | |__| |
_|______| _|_ _|_ \______/ \______/
PrOgRaMmErS gUiLd
(tm)
Donations Accepted.
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*
---
氨� Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild 脖�
Presents:
THE PIPE-SUCKING, GUT-BLOWING ALL NEW NEW AND IMPROVED SLACK QUIZ!
This is THE comprehensive Slack test; a must have for all SubGenii.
氨瞋_______________________________________________脖�
氨� Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild 脖�
Presents:
SlackQuiz
(by Lobo)
"But there is one medicine more powerful than all the contamination in New
Jersey, and that medicine is SLACK.
-- J. R. "Bob" Dobbs
........
This file will help you test your Slack level. Originally a text file
by Bill White, I have coded it into the handy-dandy test you have before you.
This is what Mr. White had to say before his version of the test:
........
The following is a short little test that will effectively measure
how much slack you have. If you find yourself in excess, please send some
to Ohio University; the poor fools who run this place wouldn't know an
original thought if it bit them in the crotch.
........
Disclaimer (by Bill White): I disclaim everything. In fact, I don't exist.
So there. Nyah.
........
Disclaimer (by Lobo): I am not responsible for any of the results of YOU
taking this test. If you actually expect it to tell you
something, you are too pink to worry about.
........
This ZIP File should include:
FILE_ID.DIZ
SLACK.DOC
SLACK.EXE
SCORES.SLK
........
_DO NOT_ delete the scores file. It is needed for the program to run
properly.
........
I know I'm probably going to get a lot of crap from people saying that
this file is the work of a Pinkie Normal. Well, I'll save you the trouble.
I am a Pinkie Normal. Who else would have nothing better to do on a saturday
night but write a stupid little test program? The thing is, I do have a
minute amount of Slack, but I can't waste it, not even on a Slack Test.
........
"I dunno, I printed it
out and smoked it!: Congratulations, you have slack. Now give me your
money anyway." -Bill White
........
Well, there you have it. SlackQuiz. Send me five bucks for registry. Or
don't.
........
-Lobo
11/20/94
氨瞋_______________________________________________脖�
---
氨� Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild 脖�
Presents:
The F___ing Censor ver. .01
This program will censor text files so you can take
them to school or something like that. We do not
support censorship in any form, we just want to keep
you out of trouble.
---
****************************************************************************
** The F___ing Censor v.01 **
** **
** Coded By Bill Hooper (BLHEPG/GW) **
** **
****************************************************************************
-[ Disclaimer ]-
Neither the author, Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild, or
Genocidal Warez are responsible for any damage this software might cause
to your system. Any loss of data through program malfunction, virus attack,
or other such means are not the responsibility of those listed above.
There is no purposefully malignant code in the original exe.
-[ What Is The F___ing Censor ? ]-
Like most of my programs, this one was written out of boredom. I had nothing
to do, and had gotten in trouble before for objectionable language present
in text files I had been reading. To solve this problem, I created The
F___ing Censor. This program loads a file, and censors all words present in
that file that are also present in the specified word list.
-[ Directions ]-
I don't know why I am writing this section, because the entire program is
command line, and if you can't get the directions from the program, give
up.
-[ Creating A Word List ]-
As a default, The F___ing Censor will load the words present in the file
WORD.LST . If you feel you need more/less words in the list, make sure you
change the number at the top of the file to the number of words in the
list!
-[ Bugs ]-
There are a few bugs present in this program that I have knowledge of, but
either don't care enough to fix, or have any idea how to fix.
- At the beginning of the output, there will be some garbage in the text. I
figure this is some memory crap, and I have tried a bunch of stuff to get
rid of it, but to no avail. No biggie, just edit the censored file.
- The program WILL SCREW on very large files! I guess this is also some damn
memory problem, and don't know how to get rid of it.
- You MUST remove ALL headers, text drawings, etc... from the inputted tfile.
The F___ing Censor takes individual words from the inputted file, censors,
and writes to the output. The maximum length of a word is 20 characters!
If anything goes over that, it will only take 20 chars, and put the rest
in a new word. I could easily fix this, though I really don't care about
this small bug.. It is easy to get around... I might fix it on a later
version..
- Sometimes, you will get a Abnormal Program Termination error. I have no
Freaking idea why this happens, so I guess I will leave it in.. It doesn't
make much of a difference in output though, so it shouldn't bother you..
- During testing, I have found that many files contain hidden characters. I
don't know why you can't see them, or how they get there, but they some-
times appear in the output.
-[ Notes ]-
- Only 100 words are allowed in the word list.
- Words in the word list must be smaller than 20 characters.
-[ Registry ]-
- The F___ing Censor costs $3.00 to register. If you register, you get the
complete version minus most of the bugs. This is definitely worthwhile.
-[ Closing ]-
We at Bill And Lobo's Hyper Elite Programmers Guild, and Genocidal Warez
DO NOT condone censorship. We feel that it is an infringement on the basic
freedom of speech. This program is merely a tool for the uses listed above.
Don't gripe at us. We don't want to listen to your philosophical tirades
about how bad this program is.
- Bill Hooper (BLHEPG/GW)
You Can Reach Us At The Following BBS's
Chaos (806)797-7501 B.L.H.E.P.G. World Hq. And Distro
Counterintelligence (ITS)PRI-VATE Genocidal Warez Hq.
---
-=WordSearch Asssistant=-
-=v.01=-
Small But Powerful Util.
For Solving WordSearch
Puzzles. By Bill Hooper
哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪
锄The�
锄
锄Easy WordSearch Assistant v.01
锄
锄
锄By: Ajoy Ashok and Bill Hooper
哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪
[Notice]
This program is to be distributed is its original format only. The
author is not responsible for any damage or loss of data resulting from use
of this program.
[Introduction]
This program is designed for use by those who have been assigned
wordsearch puzzles as homework and wasted valuable time doing something that
wouldn't help them anyway. You can also use this program for those wordsearch
puzzles that are just too hard too figure out. I really wrote this program
too late for my use, though I hope I can save others the hours of headache
that I have encountered due to wordsearch puzzles.
[Description Of The Program]
The Easy WordSearch Assistant v.01 is a small, yet powerful tool in
the completion of word search puzzles. All that the user is required to do is
to enter the puzzle into a text file, and after inputting the word that s/he
would like to find read its location off the screen and write it down. This
program finds words quickly and efficiently.
[Instructions]
To Use This Version, You Must Have ANSI.SYS Loaded !!
Before using this program, you must first type the entire wordsearch
puzzle in a text file. An example of a large wordsearch puzzle is included
to assist you in creating one correctly. The name of this file is PUZZLE.DAT.
The only important factor in typing a wordsearch puzzle is to remember not
to press enter more than one time after the last line.
Example: agbdfwergasaweraerd
aadsbbxzcdfasdggasd <---- Last Line Of Puzzle, Press CR ONCE
You should have no trouble if you use a program such as dos edit
to create the file.
After have started the program, enter the filename of the puzzle you
have inputted. The program should then display the contents of the file, or
tell you that it is too large to be used. If the file is too large, you must
do one of two things, split the file up and do it sections at a time(a pain
that I will not describe the method of approaching), or contribute money and
recieve a registered version that will return the coorinates of the first
letter, and tell you the direction of the rest of the word. If you have
entered an invalid filename, the program will tell you so, and quit. If
all goes well, you will be presented with the prompt for the search string,
which is the word that you are looking for. After you type it in, press enter.
If the program finds the word, it will highlight it on the display of the
puzzle, and allow you to exit by pressing escape, or continue by pressing
enter. If the string isn't found, the program will tell you so, and give you
the same choices.
You can also exit the program by pressing enter at the "Search String>"
prompt.
[Errors]
If garbage is displayed on screen, it means you don't have ANSI.SYS
loaded. I am not going to waste my time creating a verison just for people
with out ANSI.SYS. I can't think of any other errors that might occur, if
you find any, please tell me.
[Closing]
You can register this program if you like, or just leave it as it
is. I really don't plan to make a lot of money, though if you would like the
information necessary to register this small utility, e-mail me and I will
send it to you. I would appreciate any comments that you have about this
program, thanx.
I can be reached on the following bbs's with some regularity.
Internet : PEDSDN@tthsc4.ttuhsc.lubb.edu
WWIVnet : Bill Hooper@11812
[ BBS Name ] [ Sysop ] [ Phone # ] [ Comments ]
|---------------------|-|-------------|-|-------------|-|--------------------|
[ Static Line Xenocide (806)747-0802 Great BBS ]
[ The Steel Zoo Ramslammer (806)792-6377 WWIVnet Node 11812 ]
---
氨� Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild 脖�
Presents:
Disk Access ver.1 Registered
Tired of people accessing your files without your permission?
You need Disk Access. A BBS type program for your PC to allow
you to lock certain users out of your system and restrict the
access of others, Disk Access is a MUST have for any security
conscious person.
赏屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯�"
� �
� Disk Access v.1 �
� A Presentation of Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild �
� �
韧屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯礏y Bill Hooper仆屯屯屯屯屯屯1/4
-[ Disclaimer ]-
I the author, do not hold myself resposible for any damage inflicted
on your system by the use of this program. None of the code in the program
is made to be destructive, and in the original zip, the exe's should be
virus free. This disclaimer also applies to Bill And Lobo's Hyper Elite
Programmer's Guild and all its members. Bill And Lobo's Hyper Elite
Programmer's Guild is an equal oportunity employer.
-[ !!! NOTE !!! ]-
This is the real release. It has all the multi user stuff, system
reconfig, etc...
-[ Introduction ]-
Through my searches for a password program to safeguard my computer
from those who I'd rather not allow access to the data present, I have found
no real program that meets all my needs. Most did the normal two to four
users supported, and a simple password request with a lock if the attempt
was incorrect. Nowhere did I find a program that could create a log of the
users of the computer, and data specific to their logons. I never found
a program that had the capability of directing different users to different
areas of a system. To satisfy these needs, I wrote Disk Access.
-[ What Is Disk Access? ]-
Disk Access is a program that functions much the same way as a
password program, but all user input for passwords is substituted by using
a special access disk for each user. This method removes the hassle of
typing in a password every time you start up, but still allows you the
security of a password protected system.
-[ How Does Disk Access Work? ]-
This version of the program will create a file in the root directory
called DISK.IXX . There is a replica of this file on your access disk. On
boot, the program checks to see if these files are alike, if so, you are
granted access, if not, well, kind of obvious.. This is a simple method
and will most likely change in the next version of this program.
-[ Getting Up And Running ]-
The first item of business if to create an access disk for your
system. To do this, use the MDISK.EXE utility, that should be included in
the original zip. The program will first ask you the drive you wish the
access disk to be created on. With this version, only drive A and B are
supported. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE INSERTED THE DISK AT THIS TIME! I didn't
bother to put any code to check for a disk in, and it will screw if you
don't have one in the drive. Next, enter your name. Finally, you will be
asked to enter some random text. This is the string that the program will
check both disks for. To my knowledge, any text (letters, numbers, extended
ascii,etc..) should work. The more akward this string is, the better the
security. The string should be less than 30 characters! Also, you have to
enter the SL, wich is quite self explanatory. The utility will then make
the disk, and needed files. Now, you are ready to run..
-[ Using Disk Access ]-
The use of Disk Acces is quite simple, when the program asks you
for your access disk, put it in the drive! All logs of system use are
written to DISKA.LOG . This file has the possiblity of getting quite large,
and it is encouraged that you delete it every week or so..
-[ Multi User System Reconfig ]-
Included is a sample batch file that will run disk access, and
according to the exit code, which is the user's SL, it can do different
things. I really don't feel like writing a lot about this, because it is
self explanatory. Remember to put the SLs in the batch file in DESCENDING
order.
-[ Trouble Shooting ]-
Q: The Program Doesn't Recognize My Access Disk.
A: Try running the make disk util again. If that doesn't work, use
another disk. If that doesn't help, e-mail us...
Q: The Batch Runs The Incorrect Statements For A Certain SL.
A: Make Sure The SL's Are In Descending Order.
-[ Conclusion ]-
If you want support of more than 99 users, you must register, e-mail
me if you plan to. This is the real version, with all the neat features..
There should not be too many releases after this one though, actually,
there might be one in the near future, due to a small problem I just
thought of..
-[ Registry ]-
Please register Disk Access. Many hours of work went into this
program. We can only improve our programming skills through taking courses or
buying books. We need money to do either of these. Better programming skills
means better programs. So, it's for you that we want your money. Besides,
if you register, you get K-Rad Klock v.01 absolutely free. So please
register. Thanks.
-Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers' Guild, An Affiliate of Genocidal
Warez, Inc.
---
-= The Quick Label v.01 =-
Add headers and footers quickly
and easily to your text files.
No more cutting and pasting!
Supports multiple files!
By Bill Hooper (BLHEPG)
赏屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯�"
� The Quick Label v.01 �
� UNREGISTERED �
韧屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯偷By Bill Hooper仆屯屯屯屯屯屯�1/4
-[ Disclaimer ]-
Neither the author, bill and lobo's hyper elite programmers guild, or
genocidal warez are responsible for any damage this software might cause
to your system. Any loss of data through program malfunction, virus attack,
or other such means are not the responsibility of those listed above.
There is no purposefully malignant code in the original exe.
-[ What Is The Quick Label ? ]-
The Quick Label is a small utilitie, that is usefull for adding headers
and footers to numerous files, or one at a time. This program originated
from the need for text file labels for t-file groups, and for our
programming group.
-[ Directions ]-
The Quick Label is completely command line. The format is as follows :
LABEL.EXE <Switch> <Label File> <File 1> <File 2> <etc ....
Valid Switches - B - Label At Begining Of File
E - Label At End Of File
Only one of the switches can be applied at one time! I guess the file list
can be as long as you want, though I have only tested it with about 3 or 4
files. The label file must be in the current directory, or I guess you can
give the complete path, just keep it in the current directory to save you
and me a pain in the rear. Wildcards are NOT valid!
-[ Known Bugs ]-
If an invalid file is specified in the file list, at the begining or end,
a Null Pointer Assignment will be displayed. I don't care about this error,
and do not plan on fixing it, as most people are smart enough to put in
valid filenames. If you find any bugs on your own, PLEASE e-mail us, or
get in touch.
-[ Future Versions ]-
Future versions might include wild card capabilities, besides that.... no
real plans.
-[ Closing ]-
If you find this program even remotely usefull, please contact either Bill
Hooper or Lobo on the following BBS's, to recieve your own registered copy.
If you don't register, at least leave us mail telling us that you thought
that this program was usefull (you won't get a registered version though).
Chaos (806)797-7501 B.L.H.E.P.G. Word Hq. And Distro
The Slag Heap (806)749-SLAG Central American Distro H.Q.
The Static Line (806)747-0802 1st Release Site
Counterintelligence (ITS)PRI-VATE Genocidal Warez Hq.
Internet E-Mail Adresses
Bill - PEDSDN@TTHSC.TTU.EDU
Lobo - T9SCM@TTACS.TTU.EDU
If you have the connections to get us an internet site, or would like your
bbs to become a LD distro. site, please contact either of us.
---
-=[ Warez Writer v.01 ]=-
By Bill Hooper
Convert Text Files To \x/@R3Z Text
Quickly And Easily With This Small
But Powerful Utility! Best One I've
Seen (Actually, The Only One I've
Seen)...A 8!ll @/\/d L080'5 Hyp3r
3l!+3 Pr0gr@/x\/x\3r5 G|_|!ld
Production...
谀哪哪哪碆ill And Lobo's Hyper 鋖ite Programmers Guild Presents媚哪哪哪�
氨槽脖� 氨槽脖�
谀馁 滥目
� Warez Writer v.01 �
� UNREGISTERED �
滥目 谀馁
氨槽脖� 氨槽脖�
滥哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪[ By Bill Hooper ]哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪馁
-[ Disclaimer ]-
Neither the author, bill and lobo's hyper elite programmers guild, or
genocidal warez are responsible for any damage this software might cause
to your system. Any loss of data through program malfunction, virus attack,
or other such means are not the responsibility of those listed above.
There is no purposefully malignant code in the original exe.
-[ Packing List ]-
WW.DOC Duh..
WW.EXE Size: 13,038
REGISTRY.FRM Registry From
DISTRO.APP Distro Site Application
FILE_ID.DIZ Zip Comment
RELEASE.LST Partial List Of Releases
These are the only files from me, lobo might add some..
-[ Introduction ]-
This program, like many others, was written by me during computer science at
school.. If you don't like it, I really don't care.. If you do like it, a
$5 money order is worth a thousand words :)...
-[ What Is The Warez Writer ]-
The warez writer is a small utility that will transform the contents of any
text file into the popular W@R3Z writing.
-[ Instructions ]-
The use of this program is pretty streight foreward, when it asks you for
the name of the input file, input the name of the plain text file. Next,
enter the name of the file you would like the warez text to be written to..
I think they can be the same, if you want...maybe..
-[ Bugs ]-
I've run into this stupid hidden character thing on 2 programs now, and
have no idea how to fix it... Sometimes a txt file will have a couple of
hidden binary characters in it that will screw with the output.. this
doesn't happen often, don't worry.. Other than that none known currently..
might screw on big files, don't know for sure though.
-[ To Register ]-
If you decide to register, you can pat yourself on the back for making the
right choice. Fill out the included form, and mail to:
Bill And Lobo's Guild
P.O. Box 53143
Lubbock, TX 79453
don't send any money at first, we will contact you for furthur instructions.
You can also reach us on any of our fine distro sites. I, Bill Hooper, can
be reached via internet e-mail at:
FLASK@TTACS3.TTU.EDU
-[ Distrobution Sites ]-
Chaos (806)797-7501
The Slag Heap (806)749-SLAG
The Static Line (806)747-0802
The Counterintelligence (iTS)PRi-VATE Genocidal Warez Hq.
See the program for a pretty listing...
-----
"LUBBOCK FUCKING SUCKS!" by Some Old School BBSer
[we think one of the FUCK guys wrote this]
Welcome to this file called "Lame BBSes In Lubbock And The Community. I
wrote this because I was getting pissed off at BBSing lately. This file is
really only for Lubbock, so if your outta the state or something, read and
delete it, I don't care. First, I think everybody thinks that they can run a
board of there own. Not true. Boards are only supposed to be GOOD, I guess,
you could say. If I describe your board, then you should be shot.
-->If your board has less the 7 message subs, take it down.
There is a couple of boards I know that have 5 and 3. On the board that has
3, one of them always dead, because only certain people can post on them
(Sysops....). Get a life, you guys....
-->If you message bases are not filled to the max yet (i.e.-5o or 1oo) and your
board is over 2 months old, take it down!!! There is one board I am on that
has about 22 message subs and not ONE has there's filled up, xcept ONE.
Pretty pathetic.
-->If you have 3 Ka-zillion files, that's cool. But not if nobody D/L's them.
Pretty sad, you take up good megage. Look and see if you have lots o' files,
and see how many people actually like them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
i think you get the point now. These are just some of the reasons that Boards
are lame and stupid. If you're a sysop, take a look and see if your board
matches this.
If you're one of those Sysop's that say "Well, I get 25 callers a day"
that's pretty good, but if all they do is play your screwed all to hell Trade
Wars and leech your neat-o groovy .GIFS, get a life. I understand that many
people don't have big HD's. (Like 40 Megs) Running a board takes some space,
and I don't think you should run a board with 40 megs.
Now, to the users. Most of these people are pissing me off. Now, this is just
my opinion and, really, a lot of people I talk to. For instance, if your board
has NOTHING but message, after message of sexual sentences, get a FUCKING
life!!!!!!! I hate going through the N-scan and reading "Only if you can catch
me!!!!!" and "I'm too hot for you too handle!!!"
Geez guys....Oh, and another thing...stop this damn <G>, <BESG>, and
<EGEGERYEDADSFSWF> thing!!!!! If in all your messages you have that in there,
you will notice you're full of crap. People laugh at your posts. If you call a
"sophisticated" board, you might not post, but you will see there is no <G> and
shit like that.
There is also, A lot of talk about illegal drugs on the boards. This is
perfectly fine, since the 1st amendment is in effect. But, some people may cuss
you out and say to stop calling and shit like that, and that's okay, i guess.
Then some people threaten you and all that shit...Look, people, if you are
pissed off at somebody, don't yell at them and all that shit, if it's just
you...don't call back. If it's a lot of the regular users that call that board,
tell the Sysop, since he runs it!!! w0w....big concept, meatheads!!! The sysop
is in charge of the board, so he should be the only one saying something about
it.
There is many thing on my mind about these people that _suck_ and those BBSes
that aren't worth a _flip_. Everyone, get a LIFE!!!!!!!!! This only pertains
to Lubbock, so you cool guys that don't live in Lubb., just laugh at this phile.
Anyway, I just got off a board and this is what provoked me. 3 message bases
(Sysop thinks gamez rule the world, has a bunch o' them), and the posting was
all about "sexual" crap with <G> and <BSEG> and every other shitty <?> thing
that goes. I really hang out on the "Underground" and "sophisticated" boards,
where there's a decent conversation going on.
RECAPP-=-=-=-board-if your board has 30-50 megs, 3 message bases, shitty files
or people running around saying "I want it...hard!!", burn your 'puter.
Users---If you say sexual stuff on all your posts, look around....you're having
a conversation with 1 or 2 other people!!! If you say <G> and all that shit and
only slam and game....burn you.
That's it...I feel better. Not really. I havta go U/L this now to all shitty
boards. Sysop's better be lucky that I didn't name names, because everybody
would read this and say "That board sucks...I'll never call it again." I hope
some people have at least a little discussion about this file and really
understand it.
Thank You.
Signed,
Your friend and mine,
Always forever:
SDghwarjkghwarkjgharwekjhbawr
I HAVE ONE ELSE THING TO SAY:
LUBBOCK FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!
w0w 768 words
-----
"Snails and Snakes! FUN!!!"
o o
| /
_ -- ~~~ -- _ | /
-~ ~- | /
/ \ |/
/ .---. \ .-~~~~~-.
| / \ | / |
| | | | / |
| \__/ | | / ;
\ / / / /`----~
\ /________/~~ /
___ --- ~~-.______.-~ /
i~ .'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Y
.-^-.
/ \ .- ~ ~ -.
() () / _ _ `. _ _ _
\_ _/ / / \ \ . ~ _ _ ~ .
| | / / \ \ .' .~ ~-. `.
| | / / ) ) / / `.`.
\ \_ _/ / / / / / `'
\_ _ _.' / / ( (
/ / \ \
/ / \ \
/ / ) )
( ( / /
`. `. .' /
`. ~ - - - - ~ .'
~ . _ _ _ _ . ~
-----
"People I'm Tired Of" by Jaffo, 03-09-01
I sat with a couple casual friends from the UP tonight. Five minutes into this,
I realized that I have lost my last bit of affection for geek culture.
I used to write fondly about these guys. I used to be one of them. Now, through
no fault of their own, they have exceeded my tolerance.
Do you talk about computer hardware for fun?
Do you reference Star Trek episodes in casual conversation?
Do you have long-winded debates about compression schemes?
Do you get sexually aroused with a girl admits to playing video games?
Do you brag about the new pirated software on your machine?
Do you brag about the size of your MP3/DVD collection?
Do you quote sexually explicit comedy bits from mp3.com?
If you do any of these things, I'm tired of you. I don't hate you. I don't think
you're stupid. I wish you wealth, happiness, and joy. I'm just tired of you.
I'm not better than you. I used to be one of you. Every so often, I can slip
back into the geek mindset and genuinely enjoy a discussion about CD Burners and
MP3 players. But not tonight.
-----
Date: 5:50 pm Sun Feb 23, 1997 Number : 92 of 142
From: Psychosomatic Illusion Base : Private Mail
To : Diamondback Refer #: None
Subj: Re: STEPUP.EXE Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
I'm in FL now, in the machine room at the OSC, waiting for Digital Support to
call me back.. their VAX is in such unbelieveable shape its hard to imagine.
Somebody put 64 megs in it one day (bringing it from 16 to 80 megs) but didnt
bother to configure or even try to tune the vax..so its a 80M machine that
runs like 16. Heh. So I go in and try to tune the blasted thing (so it will
stop crashing every weekend from lack of resources..) and that breaks
disk-shadowing. So whomever set up the shadow sets didnt do that right,
because the params im adjusting dont affect shadowsets, so they've missed a
step in the config file somewhere... grr. i dont know enough about their
shadowing to mess with that, so im waiting for digital to cal...
the whole week has been a blur of equipment failures and training errors.
but oh well.
Like i said in email, you should definately come visit once we get an apt or
house or something. hopefully tomorrow i'll go hunting for apts. i hate
doing that. very annoying.
guess i'll go hang out on the BBS now, eh... good luck in CHIcago, sounds like
a fun trip. go for it.
hasta la vista
laksdjslajdf
-----
44/50: NO-FUN FUN
Name: Kp Neato Dee #14 @3
Date: Sat Mar 04 03:37:59 1995
YOU GUYS WATCH STUFF THAT IS NOT FUN OR ENJOYABLE TO WATCH ON YOUR TELEVISION
RECEIVERS. I HAVE FUN. I WRITE ON MY ARM VERY HARD WITH A PEN AND MAKE IT
HURT AND PLAY WITH MY TEXAS INSTRUMENTS "LITTLE MAESTRO" WHICH IS A YELLOW
PLASTIC THING WHICH TALKS IN A PLEASANT VOICE AND PLAYS SONGS AND MAKES PIG
NOISES! I RECOMMEND MY FUN TO YOU PEOPLES SO AS TO INCREASE YOUR
ENTERTAINMENT LEVELS. THESE ARE ALL OPTIONS TO CONSIDER.
TI SAYS:
"HELLO. PRESS A YELLOW KEY."
"SONG. PRESS A NOTE A PICK A SONG."
"NOW, SING ALONG!"
MARRY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
LITTLE LAMB
LITTLE LAMB
MARRY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
ITS FLEECE WAS WHITE AS SNOW
"GOODBYE."
I AM NOW INTO COMMUNICATING MY THOUGHTS OUT LOUD TO MYSELF SO THAT I CAN
INTERPRET THEM AURALLY AND PRACTICE MY GRAMMAR. I UNDERSTAND MANY THINGS
ABOUT LOGIC STRUCTURES AND SUBATOMIC THEORY BECAUSE I CAN HEAR THE SOOTHING
SOUNDS OF MY OWN VOICE LECTURE ME ON THESE AND OTHER INTERESTING TOPICS.
SO IF I HAVE A QUESTION I POSE IT TO MYSELF.
"KPND, WHAT IS 5+7?"
"THE ANSWER YOU SEEK IS 12."
"THANK YOU."
IT ALWAYS WORKS! TRY IT OUT! NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU BE NOT-KNOWING OF AN
IMPORTANT FACT.
I'M GOING TO TRY AGAIN AND REPORT THE RESULTS TO YOU REAL-TIME HERE NOW:
"KPND, WHAT WAS GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MIDDLE NAME?"
"PHIL."
"THANK YOU."
FACTS ARE NO LONGER A PROBLEM TO NEEDLESSLY CONFUSE ME.
KPND
KILT HIM A BAAR WHEN HE WAS ONLY 3
-----
"The Geekiest Apartment Around" by Seth The Man
01.24.2000 01:50:23 PM: If there was ever any doubt before, let there be no
more. Our apartment is now the geekiest on the block, nay, the geekiest this
side of Tech. We have a rack cabinet in our den. I spent most of last night
getting redhat on a little dx80 box that Hal and I built just so I could run
cmatrix and get that funky-cool green scrolling letters thing going on the box.
Now I've just got to figure out how to get a multi-headed version running on all
those old monitors Hal has lying around.
-----
"KNOW New Taxes" by President Bush, the Elder
;;\\/;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;
;;;;; ;;; \;;
;;;;; ;; |;
;;;; ; | /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
;;; | ( )
;; ) ( Read my lips...KNOW new taxes! )
\ ~~~~ ~~~~~~~ / ( )
\ ~~~~~~~ ~~ / ( )
|\ \ / /| \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
\\| %%%%% %%%%% |//
[[====================]] O
| | ^ ^ | |
| | :@: |/ \| :@: | | O
\______/\ /\______/
| (@\/@) | o
/ \ o
/ ;-----\ ______; \
\ \/ /
) (
/ \
\__ _/
\_ _/
\______/\/\______/
_| /--\ |_
/%%\ /"'"'\ /%%\
______________/%%%%\/\'"'"/\/%%%%\______________
/ : : : / .\%%%%%%%\"'/%%%%%%%/. \ : : : \
) : : : \. .\%%%%%%/'"\%%%%%%/. ./ : : : (
|: : : : :\. .\%%%%|"'"'|%%%%/. ./: : : : :|
-----
From: "Mark Macdonald" <mmac@vertex.com>
To: "Randolph Carter" <r_carter_@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Contact Us Entry
Date: Tue, 5 Dec 2000 10:20:52 -0600
Mr. Carter,
Although we do not operate the DefensiveDriver.com business, we do maintain it
from a technical standpoint. Content issues are handled by the folks at
DefensiveDriver.com. You can email them at info@defensivedriver.com. However, I
can answer this question for you since I was intimately involved with the
writing of this course.
On the issue of centrifugal force vs. centripetal force, I cannot argue the fact
that centrifugal force does not really exist. However, there are two reasons for
our use of centrifugal rather than centripetal. I'm sure neither of the reasons
will completely satisfy you, but I do want you to be aware that this has been
discussed both internally and with the Texas Education Agency (TEA). The first
reason is that centrifugal force is a commonly used term and is readily
recognized by the average person. Also, although it is technically incorrect it
is more easily explained to people who have not had the benefit of higher
education. Unfortunately, I believe it is still taught in our primary education
system. The second reason is more important to us as an approved course. It is
included in the Rules for Driving Safety Courses as required content. We have
to address it as a physical force that effects driving. The only way to change
it would be to get the rules changed by the TEA.
As for the grammatical mistake, again you are correct. Obviously, it is a simple
typographical error and we will correct it.
Thank you,
Mark Macdonald
----- Original Message -----
From: <r_carter_@hotmail.com>
To: <mmac@vertex.com>; <davemac@vertex.com>
Sent: Monday, December 04, 2000 11:41 PM
Subject: Contact Us Entry
> First Name: Randolph
> Last Name: Carter
> Street Address: PO Box 16038
> City, State, Zip: Lubbock, Texas 79490
> E-mail: r_carter_@hotmail.com
>
> Comments:
> I noticed that you are responsible for DefensiveDriver.com. I apologize
> if this comment is going to the wrong place. I'd like to point out an
> error in the site. It mentions the need to take "centrifugal"
> (center-fearing) force into account when driving on curves. The force
> that should be taken into account is "centripetal"
> (center-loving) force. Centripetal force is the force that is responsible
> for the seeming pull to the edge of the curve during driving.
> "Centrifugal" force does not exist (see any entry-level college
> physics textbook). Also, you use improper grammar on the
> "break" page. It says "stretch you legs." Shouldn't
> that be "stretch your legs?" I'm glad my $40 is being well
> spent.
-----
48/50: .
Name: Franken Gibe #1
Date: 5:37 pm Tue Mar 01, 1994
It's no wonder the Exalted Lords of the Cosmos refuse to let Earth people into
their neat tree houses and forts and Secret Clubs and all. Cuz we're stupid
and smell funny and we evolved from even dumber looking protohuman ape things
like had hairy butts and fucked in the open and sniffed shit all the time.
Man. And maybe the Space Lords thought that as our morphology "evolved," so
would our brains and all, but man, 3 or 4 million yrs. later, we're
just as stupid, and still obsess about body hair and the size of the shit that
hangs between our legs and get a chuckle out of (or worse yet, politicize) the
stuff that we excrete, and AHHHHHHH, geez. It's embarrassing to live on a
planet that's probably regarded by the space people as sorta the solar
system's State School.
This rant brought to you by the makers of Depends Undergarments.
Depends-- Because being an adult means never having to leak.
-----
"Cubicle Fun"
Cut-and-paste this into your word processor and print it out. Hang it in your
cubicle, to the right of your computer, and damn, that'll be fun.
### #### #######
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#######################################################################
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-----
"Tastes Like Suicide" by Seth The Man
Ya'll 'scuse me if I've touched the sky and I scorn the earth. I'm bitter,
depressed and lonely. Not the most complementary human emotions, but I didn't
choose to feel this way. Fuckin' chemicals in my head decided they wanted to be
a little unbalanced, and so here I am. Crying in my pillows, blasting my
eardrums with compressing air waves of electronic genesis.
Walkawaywalkawaywalkaway. So, do you know what tears taste like? Not the salt
water droplets that stream out of the eyes. That's base. No. The taste that a
really evil cry can leave in the back of your throat. It's almost just the salt
of tears, but it touches into something more. A little sweetness to go with the
pain-a little something more than yer head leak's au-natural seasoning.
Firefire. Let it burn. Like mi corazon. Broken heart my ass. Breaks are
momentary, something to be done with, then set back into place. My heart is
roasting into dust. Slow Burn. Ash to season the tears. A little charred meat
with my sweetness. Hmm. Some soul in there too. Heart n' Soul stew. Chew. Chew.
Grind. Hold your tongue down, breathe the savor. Bury me beneath the Damage and
the Dust. So how long does this taste last? How much pain can der zunge
remember? I'm sure it has something to do with how much you scream, `cause I can
feel it receding with my echoes. I need somebody to shove. So how long has it
lasted so far? Hard to count. How many tears fell? Does the taste compound by
the quantity, or is it just the quality of today that really brings it out?
Quantity or Quality? ╒olumen o Clase? Head full of lice and a mouth full of
drink. And I'll never find what I'm not looking for. Ya'll `scuse me if I've
touched the sky and I scorn the earth.
-----
Date: 6:24 pm Mon Apr 17, 1995 Number : 43 of 46
From: Captain Harlock Base : [ChiaNet] Internet Help/Discus
To : Xaviar Refer #: 38
Subj: KPND Post Replies: 1
Stat: Sent Origin : Local
Xaviar slithered over to ``Kp Neato Dee`` Nonet #0 @699 and hissed
X> STOP YELLING AT EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X>
X> And try to make sence next time 'k
He isn't yelling, except maybe with kozmik voice. He's got something to say, and
by golly, everybody's gonna hear it.
And he DOES make sense. You just simply have to be Enlightened and Illuminated
to understand the deep thoughts and words of K to da P to da N to da D.
Lessee, what would that look like?
D
N
P
K
Definitely not a formula I would like to compute, but one which may hold the
sekruts of the YouNiverse itself.
--- Renegade v5-31 Exp
* Origin: The Snake's Den 806.793.3779 just call it, eh? (155:806/3)
-----
Date: Fri, 26 Nov 1999 08:33:14 -0600
From: SyntaX <syntax@iglobal.net>
To: "GwD, Inc." <GwD@GREENY.org>
Subject: Re: New GwD Files for you, chach.
sup licious!
didn't think i'd ever get tha n3w GwD!
i can write some phucked up stories if you'd like.
about exotic tales of lsd and mescaline, mdma and all other horizon expanding
drugz!#$!
yay.
SyntaX
-----
"GENOCYDE/GENOCiDE/Genocidal Warez/The Genocide Team/The Genocidal Team Shit"
[Also soon to be available once more, distributed through GwD...we'll keep you
posted.]
GeNoCiDaL wArEz PrEsEnTs
ThE gEnOcIdAl WaReZ Ad
v.03 bY Chilly Con Queso
ChEcK iT oUt.
赏屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯�"
� �
� The Genocidal Warez Advertisement v.03 �
� A Presentation of Genocidal Warez, Inc. �
� Brought to you by the Genocidal Team �
� �
韧屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯礏y Chilly Con Queso仆屯屯屯屯屯�1/4
This is the official demo for Genocidal Warez, Inc. and its proprietors, the
Genocidal Team. This zip should include:
GWAREZAD.EXE - the actual demo
GWAREZAD.DOC - this file
FILE_ID.DIZ - file_id.diz (duh)
EROSION.ANS - ad for EROSiON BBS, the BBS software by the Genocidal Team, be
on the lookout for it
If any of these files are missing, contact Chilly Con Queso on
Counterintelligence.
If you don't like the ad, too bad. Genocidal Warez, and all of its proprietors
(The Genocidal Team) and affiliates (including, but not limited to Bill and
Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers' Guild) are hereby exempt fromblame for any
damage to any system caused by running GWAREZAD.EXE. This file is, in the
original zip, virus free. If you have any problems with it, sorry.
TO RUN GWAREZAD:
Change to the directory it is in (example: if the directory is C:\GWAREZ>,then
at the C:\> prompt, type "cd gwarez". Then, type gwarezad. Like you didn't
already know that.). Be sure to have your printer on if you press choice #2.
Thank you for your support.
- Chilly Con Queso,
GeNoCiDaL wArEz '95
Genocidal Warez, Inc. is an Affiliate of Bill and Lobo's Hyper-Elite
Programmers' Guild. Copyright 1995 by Chilly Con Queso and Genocidal Warez,
Inc. All rights reserved.
---
赏屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯�"
� Breaking Windows v.01 �
� UNREGISTERED �
韧屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯偷By The Genocidal Wombat仆屯屯屯屯1
-=[ Disclaimer ]=-
Neither the author, genocidal warez, nor bill and lobo's hyper-elite
programmers guild are responsible for any damage this software might cause
to your system. Any loss of data through program malfunction, virus attack,
or other such means are not the responsibility of those listed above.
There is no purposefully malignant code in the original exe. None of the
parties listed above are responsible for the actions of the user.
-=[ What Is Breaking Windows? ]=-
Breaking Windows is a simple, yet powerful utility to remove the standard
security schemes from most school/home/business systems.
-=[ Directions ]=-
Just run the program from the file manager. Most people are too stupid to
remove this from an access restricted system. If they have, just use the
run command in main. If there are any errors, the program will tell you.
-=[ Registration ]=-
This program gets kind of annyoing if you have to see the shareware nag a lot.
Registration is $5.00. Contact us if you plan to register at one of our
sites, or send us some mail.
The Genocidal Wombat c/o
Genocidal Warez
P.O. Box 53143
Lubbock, TX 79453
If you plan to register, you need to contact us so we can give you a name to
put on your check, or you can just send well-concealed cash.
/---GENOCiDE Distribution Sites---\
|Counterintelligence ITS.NOT.4YOU|
|The Slag Heap 806.794.SLAG|
|Chaos 806.797.7501|
\---------------------------------/
Or e-mail Genocidal Wombat at FLASK@TTACS.TTU.EDU
---
氨槽 GENOCiDE 鄄卑
Genocidal Warez Presents:
-=< GEncrypt/GDecrypt v.01 >=-
-[ By Chilly Con Queso ]-
Encrypt personal text files!
Encrypt private e-mail!
赏屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯�"
� GEncrypt/GDecrypt v.01 �
� UNREGISTERED �
韧屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯偷By Chilly Con Queso � GENOCiDE仆屯屯�1/4
-=[ Disclaimer ]=-
Neither the author, Genocidal Warez, a division of GENOCiDE, nor Bill and
Lobo's Hyper-Elite Programmers Guild, or any of our other affiliates, are
responsible for any damage this software might cause to your system. Any loss
of data through program malfunction, virus attack, or other such means are not
the responsibility of those listed above. There is no purposefully malignant
code in the original exe. None of the parties listed above are responsible for
the actions of the user.
-=[ What Are GEncrypt and GDecrypt? ]=-
GEncrypt (pronounced jenn-crypt) is a text file encrypter. It does nothing
more than put text into a format that is unreadable. GDecrypt puts text files
back in the original format and makes text readable again.
-=[ Directions ]=-
Simply run GENCRYPT.EXE from the command line (or File Manager, for you Windows
users). I am too lazy to figure out how to make the program accept file names
from the command line, so simply supply the file names the program asks for.
When the program has encrypted your text, you need to write down your five
digit decrypt key number. To decrypt, simply run GDECRYPT.EXE and provide the
file names and the decrypt key number and your text file will return to its
original state. Do not encrypt or decrypt files onto themselves. You will get
an error message, and I see no need to try to fix this minor "bug".
-=[ Note ]=-
DO NOT USE GENCRYPT ON BINARY FILES. It will convert them to text and when
they are decrypted, they will remain text and will not be usable.
-=[ Registration ]=-
These programs gets kind of annoying if you have to see the shareware nags a
lot. Registration is $5.00. Contact us if you plan to register at one of our
sites, or send us some mail.
Chilly Con Queso c/o
GENOCiDE
P.O. Box 53143
Lubbock, TX 79453
If you plan to register, you need to contact us so we can give you a name to
put on your check, or you can just send well-concealed cash.
/---GENOCiDE Distribution Sites---\
|Counterintelligence ITS.NOT.4YOU|
|The Slag Heap 806.794.SLAG|
|Chaos 806.797.7501|
\---------------------------------/
-----
"Disk Bomb" by The Talon
The disk bomb is a wonderful way to get back at a person you just can't stand,
one who constantly asks for games, etc.
Materials:1 diskette
2 blue-tip matches
Clear nail polish
Procedure: Carefully crush the heads of the blue-tip matches (they must be
blue-tip or this will not work!) into powder.
Mix the powder to be sure all of the blue igniting chemical that the matches are
treated with is mixed in. Spread this powder very thinly on the surface of the
disk inside the read/write access hole.
Carefully pour a very small amount of the nail polish on the powder and spread
it out on the disk surface in the read/write access oval. Wait about an hour
for the nail polish to dry. Turn the inside of the disk so that the powder
mixture is not seen. Give the disk to the intended victim.
If this is done properly, within 30 sec of boot-up, the friction caused by the
spinning diskette will ignite the powdered sulfur. The burning sulfur will then
ignite the plastic diskette, melting it, causing a great mess inside the
victim's drive.
-----
Date: 12:46 pm Tue Oct 17, 1995 Number : 63 of 65
From: Carson Base : The DoD's Dungeon of Delight
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: porno Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Man. I just don't like most porno's. If I wanted to see a big hairy dick
pumping something, I'd keep my eyes open while fucking my wife. If I'm gonna
get a porno, it has to be something I've never seen before, like chicks fucking
appliances, or each other, or food, or at least something vaguely interesting.
The woman walks in, sucks man, man fucks her one way, flips her over, cums on
her butt, and leaves shtick is pretty old.
I don't know. I'm just bored with normal sex. You get burned out. I'd rather
watch alien sex or bestiality, or something different. After a while, all
boobs, vaginas, etc. begin to look the same.
I see people going to titty bars, porno places, etc. and wonder why they aren't
home nailing their wives if they're so horny.
-----
"Super-VGA Cards Are FunFunFunFunFun!!!!!"
____________________________________ ______________
|------|------| __ __ __ | ___________ | () |
| 64X4 | 64X4 | || | | | | | | | | | | ___|
|------|------| || | | | | | | |____| |____| || D |
| 64X4 | 64X4 | || |__| |__| |__| ________________ ||| I |
|------|------| | ________ ______ ______ | ADV476KN50 | ||| P |
| 64X4 | 64X4 | |TRIDENT | |______| |______| | 1-54BV 8940 | ||| S |
|------|------| || |TVGA | |______| |______| |________________| |||___|
| 64X4 | 64X4 | || |8800CS | ________________ ___|
|------|------| || |11380029| LOW->| /\ SUPER VGA | _________ | |
| 64X4 | 64X4 | -------- BIOS | \/ (1) ||_________| | 1 |
|------|------| || ______ J ______ |________________| _________ | 5 |
| 64X4 | 64X4 | || |______| 2 |______| ________________ |_________| |___|
|------|------| || ________ ______ | /\ SUPER VGA | ___|
| 64X4 | 64X4 | |________| |______|| \/ (2) | _________ | |
|------|------| () HIGH->|________________| |_________| | 9 |
| 64X4 | 64X4 | ________ _________ _____________ _________ | |
|______|______|__ |________| |_________| |_____________| |_________| |___|
| __ TVGA-1623D _ () |
|LLLLLLLLLLLLLL| |LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL| |___|
|
|
-----
Date: 7:47 pm Fri Sep 15, 1995 Number : 39 of 51
From: Zapp Base : Animal Crackers as a carcenoge
To : Wumpus Refer #: 37
Subj: Re: wow, wife swapping eh? Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
W> You know, these posts are cool, but could you clarify on who you're talking
W> about? (Just curious)
b0b
I now pray to b0b at my locker shrine daily.
People starer in wonder and amazement.
...and then they beat me up some more.
--ZAPP
[Animal Crackers as a carcenogen] [39/51] :
Date: 12:13 pm Sat Sep 16, 1995 Number : 41 of 51
From: Carson Base : Animal Crackers as a carcenoge
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: b0b Replies: 2
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
There it is again. That BOB person. Who is BOB that we should worship him?
What is BOB? Someone please tell me where I can find the book of Bob, or any
other information about this phenomenon.
Thanks,
[Animal Crackers as a carcenogen] [41/51] :
Date: 10:11 pm Sat Sep 16, 1995 Number : 42 of 51
From: Wumpus Base : Animal Crackers as a carcenoge
To : Zapp Refer #: 39
Subj: Re: wow, wife swapping eh? Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Oh, b0b! Now I remember...gods, you'd think after so many years at Tech I
would have remembered...
[Animal Crackers as a carcenogen] [42/51] :
Date: 10:09 am Mon Sep 18, 1995 Number : 44 of 51
From: Phlegm Base : Animal Crackers as a carcenoge
To : Hallucination Refer #: 43
Subj: Re: b0b Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
C> What is BOB? Someone please tell me where I can find the book of Bob, or an
H>
H> Is Harlock in the house?
Nope, I guess I'll have to feebly fill in.
'b0b' or 'BOB' is short for J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, High Epopt of the Church of the
SubGenius. If you are not SubG, you are 'normal.' You are 'Pink.' In short,
you suck.
How do you survive rampant eco-hell? You dive into eco-hell head first!
Self-help through raising hell!
Become a *doktor* of the **FORBIDDEN SCIENCES**.
[Animal Crackers as a carcenogen] [44/51] :
Date: 12:55 pm Mon Sep 18, 1995 Number : 45 of 51
From: Carson Base : Animal Crackers as a carcenoge
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: b0b Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
How does one become an acolyte of the Church of the Sub-Genious?
More information, Please!
[Animal Crackers as a carcenogen] [45/51] :
Date: 2:51 pm Mon Sep 18, 1995 Number : 46 of 51
From: Captain Harlock Base : Animal Crackers as a carcenoge
To : Carson Refer #: 41
Subj: 'Bob' Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Carson slithered over to All and hissed the following drivel.....
C> There it is again. That BOB person. Who is BOB that we should worship him?
C> What is BOB? Someone please tell me where I can find the book of Bob, or an
C> other information about this phenomenon.
Nonono, you do not worship 'Bob.' He's just a prophet of what is to come. But
he can Save you. He can give you Slack that will allow you to deal with
anything the Conspiracy and the Elder Bankers throw at you.
You can get the Official Church Scriptures at Hastings (Book of the Subgenius,
Revelation X, Three Fisted Tales of Bob, etc), and you can give me a couple of
bucks, and I'll make you a big ol' Slack-Pack of stuff that I've made and
collected.
[Animal Crackers as a carcenogen] [46/51] : Q
Time Left: [98:59:44] (?=Help)
[Animal Crackers as a carcenogen - 8] :/O
NO CARRIER
-----
To: lobo@greeny.org
From: "Bob the Master of the World" <bobthemaster@hotmail.com>
Subject:
Date: Tue, 7 Apr 1998 00:35:44 -0500
Licious,
I am disgusted by what I read of Only Tomorrow. How could you change the
"modern day Messiah" line? That's the best part in the whole thing.
And I think because of my work there that I should be given the title "Spanish
Propagandist", being lower in status to the full-time Propagandists. Also, we
need to look into the establishment of a GwD inquisition, which would ferret out
the supporters of Redd amongst the Droogian populace. I would head this as the
Inquisitor General and receive orders directly from the Spiritual Commandant.
Also, we must begin to prepare for July 5, 1998, when GwD's control over the
Earth will be complete (see Only Tomorrow). Once this happens, the minions of
BOb Limekiller will run rampant and it will only be through the redoubled
efforts of our Inquisition that they will be stopped from causing random
mischief.
I have spoken.
Bib the Master of Smokes (Bob the Master of the World)
B
o
b
,
E
n
g
l
i
s
h
m
a
j
o
r
,
c
o
o
l
g
u
y
-----
"Bears are FUN! Especially bare bears, mmm-hmm!"
_--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ _--_ _--_
( )~~~( ) ( )~~~( ) ( )~~~( ) ( )~~~( )
\ / \ / \ / \ /
( ' _ ` ) ( ' _ ` ) ( ' _ ` ) ( ' _ ` )
\ / \ / \ / \ /
.__( `-' ) ( `-' ) ( `-' ) .__( `-' ) ___
/ ! `---' \ _--'`---_ .--`---'\ / /`---'`-' \
/ \ ! / \___ / _>\ / / ._/ __
! /\ ) / / ! \ / /-___-' ) /' /.-----\___/ / )
! !_\ ). ( < !__/ /' ( _/ \___// `----' !
\ \ ! \ \ \ /\ \___/`------' ) \ ______/
\___/ ) /__/ \--/ \ / \ ._ \ `< `--_____----'
\ / ! `. )- \/ ) ___>-_ \ /-\ \ /
/ ! / ! ! `. / / `-_ `-/ / ! !
! /__ /___ / /__ \__/ ( \---__/ `-_ / / /__
(______)____) (______) \__) `-_/ (______)
-----
"Shit from the /<ingdom" by Franken Gibe (He who is called "The Deity" by
fastjack and Trojan-Man) and Grandmaster Swamp Ratte'
FUCK THE INTERNET, I'M GOIN' ANALOG!
The /<ingdom of Shit, Elite.
"We're the beaten up old Nova pulled over on the shoulder of the Information
Superhighway, hood up and engine smoking, filled with a bunch of glassy-eyed
losers who can't read a map, and even if they could, couldn't afford the
gas to get anywhere, and anyway, the Nova's a stick, and no one knows how
to drive a stick, and the guy who WAS driving is really, really carsick, and
wandered off into the field beside the highway and is presently hacking up
his Grand Slam breakfast and 7-11 coffee."
***
T - 02:34:19
[10] [Matt and Bill's Feeble Fun-Land] :?
Things YOU CAN DO in frankie's KiNGDoM of SHiT:
[N] Scan ALL OVER for NEW stuff.
[S] Scan a single SUB-bored.
[P] Pollute The Kingdom with your own stale/trivial refuse.
[*] Fabulous places to die.
[C] Talk to a sympathetic person who loathes you.
[F] Spew your hate at me.
[E] Spew hate at others.
[V] Your vote counts in a kingdom of shit.
[M] Read your mail, regret you're alive.
[Y] Discover how puny and pathetic you are.
[U] Discover others punier and more pathetic than you.
[G] Files that make you say "Gee!"
[X] Turn off this cock suck of a menu.
[T] TRANSFERZ! RAD WAREZ! DIGITAL BULLSHIT!
[O] End it all.
***
The /<ingdom of Mystery's 1994 Prognostications!
------------------------------------------------
Zion's dream of indoor plumbing will become a REALITY!
Lobo will be afflicted by EXPIRED dairy products!
Ratt Fink and SOMEONE SPECIAL will exchange monster truck trading cards.
Zippy will convince himself and others that canned tuna is a recreational drug!
Swamp Ratte' will find something ABSOLUTELY UNEXPECTED in his pocket!
Shan Winter will short-sheet HER OWN bed!
Zen and Genaerik will feel a NUMB, TINGLING sensation for 4 minutes,
beginning at 3:19 pm on April 13th.
G.A. Matt WILL NOT REMEMBER where he left something.
Susan will discover she has SOMETHING IN COMMON with a certain supporting
actor on a certain FOX primetime sitcom.
Fastmike will become UNCOMFORTABLE with the IDEA of simulated-wood
veneers.
Trojas will cultivate an appetite for ANYTHING-and-Spam.
The /<ingdom of Mystery reminds you that the future is NOT YOURS TO
CONTROL, so just relax, and accept the inevitability of your
separate, absurd destinies.
***
At HoHoCon a couple years back, some dorkballs claimed to be hackin'
into forbidden cyberspace, rooting around for info on UFO's. Fuck those weiner
dogs. Okay, so hacking and systems' intrusion isn't really a strong suit among
us /<osers; so what? Just cuz we're parochial incompetents doesn't mean we
can't TRY to discover the mysteries of the unknown encrypted in this digital
disneyland.
So, how about those of us who give a shit about UFOlogy-- and really, about
the paranormal in general-- try to figure stuff out. Consider /<os a rolling
colloquium on high weirdness and the really far out. Anyone with any sorts of
hacking skills ought to email me, and we'll discuss our options. People with
relavant files ought to upload 'em. Maybe everyone'll find a little relief
from that nagging existential bellyache by focusing on the external and
transcendent for a change.
***
47/50: .
Name: Franken Gibe #1
Date: 12:41 am Sat Dec 24, 1994
hm. i just dug through my desk and found an old modem that i thought was dead
and buried, but it seems to be working, for now... aye.
so...HEY! if you managed to get online, Congratulations!
okay, so the Newest Thing is BBS Chic. I mean, with all this retromania, isn't
it time BBS's got a little attention? Calling bbs's is "k-rad," after all.
There's lots of "ANARCHY" online, and there're always "Phun Tymez" waiting on
the "WARBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
REAGAN SUCKS!
FUCK QADDAFI!
So, you think you're ELEET? HAH! You're not ELEET.
Running on 32k of COMPUTING POWER... between the hours of 9pm and 6am... on
Dad's Commodore 64 in the basement... it's the most ELITE board on the high
plains... it's /<.O.S. Underground Elite!!!
*
50/50: MY NEWEST BRILLIANT IDEA
Name: Swamp Ratte #5
Date: 9:21 am Sun Jan 15, 1995
OK, IT'S LIKE THIS: THIS BOARD IS IN NEED OF A **WARBOARD**.
LIKE GIBE SAID IN HIS POST, "BIG PHUN TYMES TO BE HAD ON THE WARBOARD!"
EXCEPT, IRONICALLY ENOUGH, THERE _ISN'T_ A WARBOARD.
ON SAID PROPOSED WARBOARD, PEOPLE WOULD HURL PETTY INSULTS AT EACH OTHER AND
CAUSE LONG-LASTING EMOTIONAL DAMAGE. IT WILL SUCK IN MANY, MANY WAYS.
HOP TO
*
HEY HEY HEY aLL y0U r0dEnTzzz!!!!!!
y0U'vE eNteReD tHe
___ ______
:*: /*/ / * \ / *__* \
:*: /*/ /*/ \*\ / */ \* \
:*: /*/ :*: :*: / */ ~~~
:*: /*/ :*: :*: \ *\_____
:*:/*/ :*: :*: \ * * * \
:*/*/ :*: :*: ~~~~~\* \
:*:\*\ :*: :*: ___ / */
:*: \*\ :*: :*: \* \__/ */
:*: \*\ :*: :*: \ * * /
:*: \*\ \*\ /*/ ~~~~~~
:*: \*\ \ * / E L E E T.
~~~
120012001200120012001200120012001200120012001200
1200 baud of PURE 'PUTER POWER
- Over 32k of file space -
Headquarters of Elite Leeches & Troublemakers (ELeeT)
ANARCHY!ANARCHY!ANARCHY!ANARCHY!ANARCHY!ANARCHY!
Sysop: Thee HaCKeR
Cosysop: The Kil0byte NINJA
NO R0dEntZZ! N0 FeDs! THIS B0ARD IS F0R ELITE USERS 0NLY!
*
50/50: .
Name: Franken Gibe #1
Date: 12:16 pm Sun Dec 25, 1994
Hey Koserz, CHECK IT OWWWWWWWW-TAH!
The /<os 806-ELEET wants YOUR SUBMISSION(S)! Upload your favorite or
not-so-favorite Old School File. Since We'Re G0InG T0taLlY RetRRR-0, i
thought it'd be swell if the gfile section were FILLED TO BURSTING with the
smarmiest, gr00viest, funfantabulest dumbass gfiles files. Anything dealing
with Important Issues like ANARCHY!, HOW TO BE A R0DENT/ELiTE, um, old LOD
files, old cDc files-- anything STUPID and COOL, would be welcome. Kev, got
some suggestions? THEN LOAD 'EM UP, C0WB0Y! The first 20 cDc files oughtta be
in there. Maybe i could give you a FL0PPY DISK, and leech some from Drew.
Anyhow, maybe 1200 bps is a deterrent to uploading. BUT IT WASN'T IN 1984, YOU
LAZY RODENTS! Gitt bizzee!
TheE eLeeT mIcR0-Ninja
-ELEET-806
(is this getting annoying or what? hah. and it hasn't even STARTED yet)
***
Rumor has it that the feds, who've been secretly monitoring /<os for YEARS
now, finally have enough evidence to nab EVERYONE OF US on charges of Bein'
Goofy Too Much and Wanting to Fuck EVERYTHING that Begins With the Letter 'R'.
I, for one, plead Guilt as Charged, yer honor. Mmmph.
***
Timmy took the dare. As his young friends gaped in astonishment, he
finished off his TENTH bowl of SuperFiberBran cereal. No one-- not even
lab mice-- had ever defied the principles of dietary fiber with such
fierceness, such flair.
It was only a matter of moments. The wide stripe of Timmy's victory grin
twisted into a confused grimace. A rumbling like a hundred thousand wild
hoof-falls choked the morning calm. Timmy's face flushed red, his eyes
bulged, and with a Mighty "fffffrrrppppthhhtpt!", the young lad's
bowels wrenched asunder, spewing half-digested chunks of SuperFiberBran
geyserlike at friends and family.
Timmy's BBS?
/<ingdom of Shit, of course.
806/794-1842.
"The only limit is the size of your colon."
***
I'm sick of Big Concepts. I'm sick of Cleverness. I'm sick of arrogant
manifestoes that declare a New Age, one constructed outta alot of the
bits and pieces left over from the old age. I'm sick of mainstream
bullshit innundating so-called subculture, sick of seeing the same old
prejudices and banalities and castes and hierarchies infecting Outsider
Society. I'm sick of Outsider society, with it's rules and styles and
stupidity. I'm sick of wanting things for myself than I despise other
people for wanting-- like fame, or money, or sex. I'm sick of getting
angry cuz i can't convince anyone of anything. I'm sick of being
ineffectual. I'm sick of whining cuz i'm inactive and uninvolved. I'm
Here's a concept.
In a silent basement in the land-locked bowels of America there's an
anonymous little pc that hums away lightless hours. It calls itself the
kingdom of shit. It's where loneliness comes from.
It's run at 1200 baud, a sad, archaic speed. It's few users stumble
dully through vacant, dusty subboards, groping in the halflight of their
vdt's, tacking up terse requests for contact. Everyone wants to know
where anyone is. The pc's cpu silently calculates its billion loneliness
algorithms every second, and the bbs's data base fills with digitized
confusion, and disorientation, and loneliness. Everything comes from
somewhere. This is where loneliness enters the cybernet.
The kingdom of shit may be vast, a storehouse of unused megs, like
great, cyber-warehouses lit by flickering flourescent tubes; miles and
miles of empty warehouse space. Or maybe not. The sysop's never
available. Rumor has it he died years back. The bbs seldom crashes, and
it's revival is mysterious and abrupt when it does. They say the line (a
number somewhere in the texas plains) is sometimes busy for days, but
when a caller finally gets through, there's no appreciable difference.
No posts. A list of previous callers who never leave a word, a reason or
intention or hope or fear for their calls. There's no xfers... nothing
to attract the somber legions of wares pirates. Just those creaky old
sub-boards, and a few hopelessly out of date messages from lost users,
callers from years back, set adrift like messages in a bottle, adrift on
a digital ocean. They say loneliness comes from here. That the bbs
phones thousands of systems a year, inserting viruses, or subtly
manipulating machine code. Seeding the cyberplains with loneliness. The
kingdom of shit is like a Johnny Appleseed of despair, mindless, it's
coded instructions mirthlessly and mysteriously executed. It's
intentions are unclear, a matter of conjecture. And who conjectures?
Only a few. Some of the zombies who wander the empty Kingdom's halls. A
few old men who've thought deeply and alone about Conditions and their
Meanings. Maybe a hebephrenic or two, wandering the midsummer, midnight
streets in the great cities of America, murmuring the word 'alone,' or
challenging passing cars with a fearful growl: "Kingdom of shit!"
***
Log Off?
Scabie, Official Mascot of the Where's Leif? Society says "WHERE IS THAT GIRLIE
BOY? I WANNA FUCK HIM UP THE ASS!"
-----
From: "Jaffo" <jaffo4@yahoo.com>
To: <gwd@geocities.com>
Subject: Oh man
Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 02:55:36 -0500
I finally looked at the photo album.
I think I'm gonna cry.
I miss you guys a lot. <G>
Jaffo
-----
"Proposal: The Effect of Family and Friends on Bulimia and Anorexia"
by Diamondback
A major problem that faces many people, especially teenage
girls, is suffering from anorexia or bulimia. Pressures to "look
thin" come from all directions, including parents, siblings, and
friends. These peer pressures cause some girls to form the
disorders of anorexia or bulimia in hopes of losing weight to
please those who pressure them. Unfortunately, many times this
chain of events has a sad and devastating effect on everyone, as
the repercussions from anorexia and bulimia can be as severe as
death.
Based on the research I have conducted thusfar, it is clear
that there are solutions to avoiding this tragedy. While family and
friends can often times unwillingly be one of the causes, they also
hold the power save those who have fallen into the traps of anorexia
and bulimia. Parents can take heed of any warning signs that their
daughter might be in danger. Also, parents can actively remind their
children that they do not need to lose weight to win family approval.
Friends can also aid in recovery, because they can provide peer
acceptance without the pressures of "looking thin" as well as
understanding and supporting those who suffer from anorexia and
bulimia in their time of need. It is my belief, based on my current
level of research, that family and friends can be major benefactors
to the recovery process of those who struggle against anorexia and
bulimia.
-----
"Commodore Logo" Because It's There
.andAAHHHA
.dHHHHAHHHHH
dHHHAHHHHHHHU
AHHHHHHHP^" nnnnnnnnr
]HHHHHHP HHHHHHHP
HHHHHHH HHHHHHP
HHHHHHH nnnnnn.
]HHHHHHb HHHHHHHn
UHHUHHHbn. HHHHHHHHh.
VHHHHHHHHHHHA
^VUHHHUHHHHH
"^YHHHHHHU
you know, i'd gleefully destroy all of my pirated microsoft stuff for one more
day with speedscript 2.0 <sniff>. okay, maybe not. and that piracy thing? i
was just kidding.
-----
Date: Thu, 17 May 2001 03:17:49 +0000 (PM)
From: jeffhorton200501@aol.com
Subject: CD-ROM COMPLETE BIBLE ..1914
To: GwD@GREENY.org
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We apologize if you are not interested in learning more about the Bible or
deepening your relationship with God. The Internet is the fastest method of
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-----
Date: 9:33 pm Wed Oct 25, 1995 Number : 38 of 50
From: Zapp Base : 007 was a w@r3z d00d
To : Phlegm Refer #: None
Subj: Re: HI Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
P> Well, if'n you're like most of the rest of the human race, there will be
P> lots of small indicators installed throughout your body cavity. Road
Actually, no. Due to budget cuts and lack of sleep, all of my major bodily
functions have been dransferred to my HD for temporary storage. If you would
like to access a particular bodily function, then follow the simple recorded
message:
If you would like to access the thought and nerve control centers, press 1.
If you want to see muscles, bone, or skin, press two.
For information on the bloodstream, press 3.
To try and make ZAPP pee, press four.
Something like that...
Hey... ZAPP pee... ZAPPy... Happy... yow.
--ZAPP
-----
"Fairy"
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8 `b ,d" | / ) / `Ya, a, 8
8 ,8a,aP' \/ ,' ( "Ya,`P ,8
8a888P' Normand ( \ "Y8b,,d8
888P' Veilleux `\ \ "Y888P
8P' `\ | Y8P'
P `' P'
-----
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 13:31:04 -0400 (EDT)
From: mogel <dto@Op.Net>
To: "GwD, Inc." <gwd@geocities.com>
Subject: Re: GwD is FIVE. FYM.
hey lobo. i won't be able to make it to the party, but please give my
regards. [The "party" mentioned in some of this stuff is/was GwaDFest98 -Ed.]
i'm in illinois right now and getting someone to drive to texas or whatnot is
pretty unthinkable. at any rate, Dummercon 4 is on july 25th (information is
going out this weekend to the dto mailing list. are you on that?) in illinois
and i should be around town to help make things go smoothly. we're planning
this year a lot more!
anyway, congrats on turning 5. now RELEASE MORE STUFF.
= mogel / the hippest man alive today / dto@op.net =
= yes, ok. yes, ok. yes, ok. yes, ok. are you ok? =
-----
From: Neeperando@aol.com
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 22:41:48 EDT
To: gwd@geocities.com
Subject: Re: GwD is FIVE. FYM.
Why the FUCK would I want to go to a party for your weak-ass CULT, that can't
even brainwash a no-willpower MORON like me? You're so PATHETIC that I don't
even want to THINK about it anymore.
-----
50/50: okay.....Name: Longshot #438
Date: Thu Dec 01 17:22:24 1994
RE: well...BY: Diamondback #405
since you asked, and I'm feeling generous, and it doesn't look like I'll be
seeing ya anytime soon to show it in person, here's the famous Flaming Dairy
Creamer trick...take a normal restaurant-size pack of creamer (Taco Bell creamer
works _real_ good) and open it....hold it about a foot or so over your head and
away from your body. Hold a lighter positioned directly underneath at about
mid-chest level (Zippos work good because you don't have to try and light them,
you can start with them lit)...sprinkle the creamer so that it makes a cloud
(It's really fine, so this shouldn't be too hard). When the cloud touches the
flame from the lighter....
>FWOOSH< Firecloud! Don't try this in the restaurant unless you're willing to
get banned for life.....although the look on waitresses' faces is unforgettable.
and remember...I didn't tell you how to do this...you figured it out on your
own...and nothing can be traced back to me.
Yupyup
-----
"Wit" by Mohawk Dave
1) halloween is so beautiful....lotsa teenage girls dressed up like
dominatrixes. the only downside is you gotta be extra careful to check their
gender.
2) my eyes itch like a witch's tit. I'm gonna go drip lubricants into them.
3) it's better to just be a good samaritan and give the porn to poor kids who
can't afford their own.
4) You are like so many cattle led by a blind man.
5) i've got naked girls, and you're not getting any!
6) i've not been using irc much anymore because i decided everyone I met there
SUCKS ASS.
7) so basically, you just spend all day looking at old lady porno?
8) i hate mp3. it makes my crash cymbals sound all swimmy in the high
frequencies.
&
"Portrait of Mohawk Dave" by Kaptain Kilobyte [?]
|
|
|
/|\
M o h a w k
* D D *
* Q____*x
* \____ *|
********* | |
| @ |
_______|_______ >>|>
X __ X---------////>
/ X__ | | | __X
/ | || |( ) |
/ | ||_| | |
/ | |
/\ |XX<(O)>XX|
||||\ /- -\
/ _ \
/ / \ \
\ \/ | | \/ /
/____| |____\
_____|:::| |:::|____
\"""" __=| |=__ """"/
~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
-----
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 22:11:51 -0500
To: "GwD, Inc." <gwd@geocities.com>
From: Yancey Slide <yance@greeny.org>
Subject: Re: GwD is FIVE. FYM.
What happened on the tenth, and why the hell wasn't I there?
ys
-----
Date: Mon, 27 Aug 56 13:49:43 0000
From: Dan Sroka <sroka@angelfire.com>
To: editor@GREENY.org
Subject: Doink Hole Bong
Did Kim Mo Bong give it to Bo Kim Hole or did Bo Kim Hole give it to Ho Joe
Doink or was it Bong to Doink, Hole to Bong, Doink to Hole..... oh God, it gets
hard to follow after awhile. Lets just say these three were messing around in
ways they should not have been and now they're in a world of trouble!
See for yourself.......
http://www.pitt.edu/~dasst14/ss6.html
-----
"grrr. angst. html." - by His Liciousness
today in cs lab, i wrote a program called "angst" that just wrote "angst" a
whole lot in funky colors and alternated between caps and lowercase randomly.
then, i turned it into a GwD add, cuz that's what i do. i try to make light of
my situations by replacing 'angst' with 'GR33NY lik3s mash3d p0tat03s', which,
coincidentally is one of the quotes on the GwD web page.
grrr. angst. html.
-----
Date: Thu, 9 Mar 1995 07:17:42 -0600
From: Mendosan@aol.com (by way of marsha-w@uiuc.edu (Marsha-W))
To: cpsr-glob
Subject: Fwd: Cracking Down in Hong Kong (@)
Message-ID: <ab845ad76a021004172c@[128.174.91.166]>
---------------------
Forwarded message:
From: EarleJones@AOL.COM
Sender: owner-efj@twics.com
Reply-to: efj@twics.com
To: efj@twics.com
Date: 95-03-08 17:06:21 EST
Please distribute this freely. Thanks.
========================================================
STATEMENT CONCERNING POLICE ACTION ON INTERNET PROVIDERS
========================================================
PLEASE DISTRIBUTE FREELY
The Hong Kong Government has once again exposed itself and the territory's
reputation to international ridicule with Friday's raids against and
shut-down of seven Internet suppliers.
The raids not only severed links to the Internet and international E-mail for
up to 10,000 companies and individuals without warning, but they also
indicate a complete breakdown in communication between two government
departments, the Police Commercial Crime Bureau (CCB) and the Office of the
Telecommunications Authority (OFTA).
In this regard the following points must be raised and will be discussed at a
press conference and open forum on Monday March 6. This event is planned to
be held at the Foreign Correspondents Club at 3PM, however this venue has yet
to be confirmed. Confirmation of venue and time can be obtained by calling
(852) 2866-6018 on Monday morning.
- The raids were carried out by the computer crime division of the CCB
accompanied by officials from OFTA for unlicensed provision of
telecommunications services by the seven companies.
- OFTA, as the governing body in such cases, had been carrying out its own
investigation into the same issues and had already entered into discussions
with all the affected providers.
- OFTA has issued a statement saying that it had not initiated the raids and
was only providing technical support. It also says the raids were a result of
a police investigation into "commercial crimes involving computer hacking."
- No mention of computer hacking has ever been made by police either in their
search warrants, charges or subsequent statements to the press.
- Eight people were arrested during the raids and detained for questioning on
issues related to providing a telecommunications service without a license.
- Never was any supplier warned that they would be raided and charged with an
offense.
- Despite working together it seems that OFTA and the police never actually
talked about the two coinciding investigations. In any case OFTA has
wrongly, and possibly purposely, led the providers into believing they
were on firm ground, knowing full well that a raid was imminent.
- OFTA in a letter dated January 19 asked all providers for details of their
services and equipment. The letter said that after the investigation was
complete OFTA would advise the companies on licensing requirements and
procedures.
- OFTA had verbally told some providers that their services were not in
danger until the investigation was complete, although it would be
advisable for them to apply for a Public Non-Exclusive Telecommunications
Service (PNETS) license.
- OFTA has been quoted in the press as admitting to "grey areas" in the
telecommunications ordinance, particularly in regards to PNETS.
- The raids stem from a complaint from "an international telecommunications
supplier" according to a police source. This would therefore point to
either Hong Kong Telecom or the only surviving Internet supplier, Supernet.
The later of which has publicly stated that it would use OFTA to battle price
cutting moves by its unlicensed competitors.
- Why was the CCB involved in a simple HK$700 licensing issue on the same
level as illegal hawking? Who is really behind this operation?
- What does this signal for the future of freedom of information and freedom
of speech in Hong Kong?
- What does this do to Hong Kong's International business reputation
regarding competition and free trade?
- What effect will this have on the literally hundreds of local Bulletin
Board Systems (BBS) who also provide various forms of telecommunication
services? Such services include Email, which was specifically pointed out by
C.L. Ng of OFTA as illegal without a license on Friday afternoon at the site
of one of the affected providers. Why were these and many commercial firms
operating similar services not raided?
Monday's event will be hosted by one of the affected providers, Asia On-Line
Ltd. Guest representing a cross section of the public and private sector will
be invited to take part as will individuals now facing criminal charges over
this issue.
Confirmation of venue and time can be obtained by calling (852) 2866-6018 on
Monday morning.
Please distribute this message freely.
Name: YEUNG Po-kei, Percy
Territory: Tai Po, New Territories, HONG KONG
Bulletin Board: (852)2658-9716 - SuperBoard BBS III
InterNet EMail: percy@hk.super.net, percy@asiaonline.net
Facsimile: (852)2602-6814 Telex: 51666 KCRC HX
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
[End: "Hong-Kong-Network-Bust" 9 1995]
This documented was stored by the CPSR Cyber-Rights working group.
World Wide Web: http://www.cpsr.org/cpsr/nii/cyber-rights/
FTP: ftp://www.cpsr.org/cpsr/nii/cyber-rights/Library/
To join or the cyber-rights list, send mail to LISTSERV@CPSR.ORG with
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To submit a message for posting to the list, send mail to
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CR-OWNER@CPSR.ORG.
You are encouraged to forward and cross-post messages and online
materials for non-commercial use, pursuant to any copyright and
redistribution restrictions included in individual messages.
Contact the original author for commercial reuse.
-----
"Fun Dragon!"
___====-_ _-====___
_--^^^#####// \\#####^^^--_
_-^##########// ( ) \\##########^-_
-############// |\^^/| \\############-
_/############// (>::<) \\############\_
/#############(( \\// ))#############\
-###############\\ (oo) //###############-
-#################\\ / VV \ //#################-
-###################\\/ \//###################-
_#/|##########/\######( /\ )######/\##########|\#_
|/ |#/\#/\#/\/ \#/\##\ | | /##/\#/ \/\#/\#/\#| \|
' |/ V V ' V \#\| | | |/#/ V ' V V \| '
' ' ' ' / | | | | \ ' ' ' '
( | | | | )
__\ | | | | /__
(vvv(VVV)(VVV)vvv)
-----
Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2000 13:46:46 -0600
From: BMC <thebmc@textfiles.com>
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com
Subject: The Current Text Scene
Dear _blank_,
I am sending this seemingly non-form letter to you and _blank_ publication on
behalf of myself and The Current Text Scene <http://scene.textfiles.com>.
The purpose of this email is approximately twenty-fold, but I will just mention
the key points for clarity.
1) I'm the new webmaster for The Current Text Scene, so hello, _blank_. I'm
looking forward to learning more about all of the zines involved in the Text
Scene, so hopefully we will get a chance to chat it up sometime soon.
2) [omitted due to excessive profanity]
3) when you have releases that you want listed on the site you should send them
to bmc@textfiles.com instead of the address that you were previously sending
them to.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Peace!
BMC
-----
49/50: .
Name: Franken Gibe #1
Date: 8:04 pm Tue May 17, 1994
I like the way i smell, pretty much. My fragrance? The Perfume of the Doomed,
that sweet bouquet of decay that reminds me, now and then, that someday i'll
be intimate with worms. I smell like a box full of gamey flesh, but that's
okay. Hugs, anyone?
---
If you can read this, YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME!#@$$@~!
-----
Date: Tue, 11 Aug 1998 18:28:19 -0400
From: "Yes, Okay" <okay@netineti.net>
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com
Subject: hey there!
I just checked out the Greeny site. It looks really great.
DTO died in the beginning of this summer, due to personality conflicts, and
arguments about the direction of the 'zine, and also the fact that many of us
just stopped caring. Regardless, three new e'zines have sprung up out of dto.
info on these can be found at www.dto.net, however, I'm helping Trilobyte run a
new one "Neti, Neti" (www.netineti.net) which is primarily a humor e'zine. Go
us. Anyway, it's good to see GWD still alive and well. I'm gonna add the gwd
site to my e'zine links page, of my homepage (www.netineti.net/okay/)...
Cheers, you bastard!
-----
"Hot Girls in Panties" by Seth The Man
06.17.2000 02:39:14 PM: I've just seen the best marketing technique ever. Hot
Girls in Panties. It's an incredible draw, Fuschnaps and I were powerless to
resist it and were forced to go look at CDWarehouse's over-priced DVDs. They
just stood on the sidewalk and bounced around. There were also some gay guys to
attract the ladies (women love gay guys) .. Very effective. 'schnaps and I
discussed whether they might be a traveling marketing team. Wandering from city
to city, Hot Girls in Panties (with gay guys), bringing pizza and customers to
any establishment that needs them. Traffic Jams and Ogling for all!
-----
#####################################################################
#####################################################################
#####################################################################
#####################################################################
########################__---~~~~~|~~~~~--__#########################
####################.-~~ | ~~-.####################
#################.-~ .-~~~~-. | ~-.#################
################/ { o }| \################
###############/ / / | \###############
##############| `--r' { | ,___.-', |##############
##############| / ~-| ', |##############
##############|---------{---------|----------'--------|##############
##############| \ | / |##############
##############| \ | / |##############
###############\ ~ ~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~~~ ~ /###############
################\ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ | ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ /################
#################`-_ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~|~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ _-'################
####################`-__ ~ ~ ~ | ~ ~ ~ ~ __-'###################
########################~~---_____|_____---~~########################
#####################################################################
#####################################################################
#####################################################################
-----
Date: 1:14 am Fri Aug 25, 1995 Number : 51 of 51
From: Flingy Base : Is this gonna require effort?
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: Chicken or egg Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Ummm, like, is this philosophy or something? Cuz I don't know whether or not
God sez so, but a cold pepsi and a tuna fish sandwich is pretty damn good...
"... And almighty Jehovah, King of Jews, Sword of Righteous Vengeance, DID
Decree that canned carbonated corn syrup was good, and from that day on, it
was so, sayeth the Lord"
-----
Scan Sub : Illegalities and Immoralities
49/50: Okay, folks.......
Name: Longshot #438
Date: Wed Aug 17 11:41:40 1994
this seems like the best place to post this, so here goes......
Lubbock's very own cDc Publications was featured today on Geraldo (actually,
Geraldo is still on). He's talking about "Computer Vice". They had some greasy
goober on there that said he caught the occult group behind all sorts of shit,
which was then revealed to be described in a cDc file (probably available
here). They then went on to talk about another couple of cDc files, and lots
of other crap. If they give a number we can call to heckle them, I'll be sure
and call back to post it. Basically, they're saying that everyone who uses a
modem is a child pornographer who kills people and sells snuff films on the
side (first crack stone free with every purchase). It is to laugh.
Sub: Illegalities and Immoralities
Read: (1-50), Message # 49, (c/r)= Next Msg ?:
50/50: saw it...twice even
Name: Kaptain Kilobyte #6
Date: Wed Aug 17 12:06:33 1994
RE: Okay, folks.......
BY: Longshot #438
cause I missed it on KJTV so by the magic of cable got to see it (and tape it)
again on WGN....and it was indeed another media sex circus, one bozo even
mentioned that Dahlmer had a computer and modem (whoopee) and was part of some
serial killer network..geez..
oh the number to call, and it only costs a buck, 1-900-SPEAKUP
-----
Date: Tue, 08 May 2001 00:32:50 -0500
From: Bob the Master of the World <bobthemaster@hotmail.com>
Subject: [chaoslan] Flame War: Buttworm vs. Motherfucker X
To: chaoslan@listbot.com
ChaosLAN - http://chaos.greeny.org/~chaoslan
--------------------------- ListBot Sponsor --------------------------
Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/links/joinlb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I hereby declare a flame war against Breed X.
For those not "in the know," the way the "war" is conducted is fairly
straightforward: one person, typically an arrogant, idiotic newbie, hurls inane
and witless insults at another person, typically an experienced and esteemed
member of the online community, in a usually futile attempt to gain status in
that community. I was one of the few exceptions: in my wars, I was able to
successfully dispatch impotent dinosaurs like "Snowcrash" and "Ratt Fink" to
assume a hegemony over the rest of the BBS community in Lubbock, Texas.
In an effort to respect the tradition, I will assume the status of newbie by
reprising my Newbiean, ultra-violent persona of Buttworm. Also, I will overuse
capitals and expletives, standard literary devices of Newbiean literature:
"BREED X, YOU ARE A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH. WHAT KIND OF STUPID FUCKING NAME IS
THAT SHIT? WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT EVEN MEAN? DOES IT MEAN YOU FUCK YOUR MOM?
IT PROBABLY DOES, YOU SICK FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO? YOU WANNA
KICK MY ASS, YOU SISSY FUCK? YOU WANNA STICK YOUR ENGORGED COCK INTO MY TINY,
PUCKERED ASSHOLE? YOU PROBABLY DO, YOU SICK FUCK."
"I'LL FUCK YOU WITH MY MOTHERFUCKING EARS, YOU GAY BITCH."
-----Buttworm
God, I miss Chaos.
Git. (Imagine a giant, crude graphic of a green and brown frog).
<g>
______________________________________________________________________
To unsubscribe, write to chaoslan-unsubscribe@listbot.com
Date: Tue, 08 May 2001 19:01:53 -0500
From: Breed_x <breedx@GREENY.org>
Subject: Re: [chaoslan] Flame War: Buttworm vs. Motherfucker X
To: ChaosLAN <chaoslan@listbot.com>
Organization: The Infiltration Lab
ChaosLAN - http://chaos.greeny.org/~chaoslan
--------------------------- ListBot Sponsor --------------------------
Start Your Own FREE Email List at http://www.listbot.com/links/joinlb
----------------------------------------------------------------------
> "BREED X, YOU ARE A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH. WHAT KIND OF STUPID FUCKING
> NAME IS THAT SHIT? WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT EVEN MEAN? DOES IT MEAN YOU
> FUCK YOUR MOM? IT PROBABLY DOES, YOU SICK FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU
> GOING TO DO? YOU WANNA KICK MY ASS, YOU SISSY FUCK? YOU WANNA STICK
> YOUR ENGORGED COCK INTO MY TINY, PUCKERED ASSHOLE? YOU PROBABLY DO, YOU
> SICK FUCK."
>
> "I'LL FUCK YOU WITH MY MOTHERFUCKING EARS, YOU GAY BITCH."
> -----Buttworm
True to internet flame wars, I'll don the persona of "Aged Elite UberGeek" and
give a traditional response:
"Re: Motherf*cker X
Buttworm:
Your IQ is showing. For example, what evidence do you have that I am 'A
MOTHERFUCING BITCH'? None. Were you actually looking for some kind of
intelligent response, or were you simply typing because you were born with
fingers? Please allow me give you some friendly advice. First, please use the
'Caps Lock' key to turn off uppercase letters. It is usually located below Tab
and above left Shift. Typing in all caps simply annoys people and again shows
your ignorance. Next, you should really read the list and get to know me before
simply lashing out and attacking me. It is readily apparent that you are new to
this list. If you would have spent some time to read some of my previous
messages, you would have learned that I am not homosexual: I have a wife and
17 kids to prove it. In fact, your twisted little email is littered with
references to the buttocks (including your handle) and gay sexual acts...perhaps
you should take a good hard look at your own life before blindly accusing
somebody you don't even know. I cannot even believe that I have wasted part of
my ultra-important day to respond to your childish comments.
-<real first name> <real last name>
<full email address>
[lengthy, witty 10-line sig here]
______________________________________________________________________
To unsubscribe, write to chaoslan-unsubscribe@listbot.com
-----
From: "Zach D." <zachd@mail.hub.ofthe.net>
Organization: Velvet Pants Prod.
To: "GwD, Inc." <gwd@geocities.com>
Date: Tue, 30 Dec 1997 07:28:11 -0500
Subject: Re: New GwD Files. Read them. Or don't.
heart beat
pig meat
heart beat
pig meat
- James "Movie" Walker
Whatup?
Sky Jinks!
TTYL,
ZD
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Net's Best Virtual Flea Market:
Vinyl-8 Tracks-Computers-Board Games-CEDs-Video Games-Books - Collectibles
http://users.hub.ofthe.net/~zachd/
-----
Date: Fri, 5 Dec 1997 17:13:50 -0600 (CST)
From: The Holy Banana <jev3290@cs.tamu.edu>
To: Lobo Licious <lobolicious@cyberdude.com>
Subject: Re: Worth a Peek (rooster)
Congrats You Have just Won the Worth a Peek Award!
Display the Award with pride because your page was REALLY WORTH A PEEK!
To the award just display this code on your page:
<a href="http://www.cs.tamu.edu/people/jev3290/banana.html>
<img src="worth.jpg" border=0></a>
then use the award i have attached to this mail and put it in the same directory
as of the file you add this code to. If you have any trouble with this
attachment you can go to: http://www.cs.tamu.edu/people/jev3290/worth.html and
download the award!
Thanks for visiting BaNaNa BaNaNa and we hope you come again!
PS: Go to Worth a peek Site to check out our ratings of your page, thanks
(__)
/oo\################ -We R Kow of Borg
\ /################\\ R3SISTANCE IS FUTiLE
\/ ################ | MoOo!!!!
################ |
################
| | | |
^ ^ ^ ^
Banana..............
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
**VISIT BaNaNa BaNaNa**
http://www.cs.tamu.edu/people/jev3290
**games, Banana's Art Gallery, BananaAwards, java applets, and much more!**
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
-----
From: "Future World Dominators" <fwd_4_life@hotmail.com>
To: gwd@geocities.com
Subject: You should have added this to your book of keylime
Date: Sat, 28 Mar 1998 16:42:21 PST
read this file
Content-Type: text/plain; name="fwd1.txt"
Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="fwd1.txt"
! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? !-<S * A * T * A * N>-? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ?
666 666 666
666 666 666 /---\
666 666 666 |[_]| /--\
666 666 666 | | |[]|
666 666 666 | | | |
666 666 666 | | | |
666 666 666 | |____ ____| |
666 666 666 | | | | |
666666666666 666666666666 666666666666 /| | | | |
666 666 666 666 666 666 / | |
666 666 666 666 666 666 < [| |
666 666 666 666 666 666 \ |
666 666 666 666 666 666 \ |
666 666 666 666 666 666 \ |
666 666 666 666 666 666 \ /
666666666 666666666 666666666 \-------------/
"Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast:
for it is the number of a man; and his number *is* Six hundred threescore and
six." - Revelation 13:18.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
$ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $-<G + R + E + N + E>-* $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ *
555555555555 555555555555 555555555555 /- -\
555 555 555 |[_]|
555 555 555 | | /--\
555 555 555 | | |[]|
555 555 555 | | | |
555 555 555 | | | |
555 555 555 ____| |____| |
555555555555 555555555555 555555555555 | | | | |
555 555 555 /| | | | |
555 555 555 / | |
555 555 555 < {| |
555 555 555 \ |
555 555 555 555 555 555 \ |
555 555 555 555 555 555 \ |
555 555 555 555 555 555 \ /
555555555 555555555 555555555 \-------------/
"Here is knowledge. Let he who hath understood the rest of what I've said count
the number of Green: for it is the number of a mortal; and the number is Five
hundred twoscore and fifteen." - KeyLime 18:13.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
$ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ *-<f + W + D>-$ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $ * $
1111111111111 1111111111111 111111111111 /- -\
1111111111111 1111111111111 111111111111 |[_]|
11111 11111 11111 | |
11111 11111 11111 | |
11111 11111 11111 | |
11111 11111 11111 | |
11111 11111 11111 ____| |_______
11111 11111 11111 | | | | \
11111 11111 11111 /| | | | |
11111 11111 11111 / | |
11111 11111 11111 < {| |
11111 11111 11111 \ |
11111 11111 11111 \ |
11111 11111 11111 \ |
111111111111111 111111111111111 111111111111111 \ /
111111111111111 111111111111111 111111111111111 \-------------/
"Here is bullshit. Let he who hath understood the rest of what I've said count
the number of the anti-Greeny: for it is the number of an asshole; and the
number is One hundred noscore and eleven." - fWd 69:69.
-----
Date: Mon, 30 Nov 1998 15:53:36 -0500 (EST)
From: Tom Sullivan <sullivan@hiway1.exit109.com>
To: bomb@alt164.com
Subject: WORD, HOMEY.
HEY FUCKERS-
THE BOMB SQUAD HAS RELEASED SIX NEW ISSUES FOR YOUR PLEASURE. WE'VE ALSO GOT A
NEW WRITER. LET'S WELCOME PIP THE ANGRY YOUTH. HE'S A DOLL.
new releases (11/30/98):
issue 07: silly computer terms that can be euphemisms for sex (EDICIUS)
issue 08: real letters from the inside #1 (THE BOMB SQUAD)
issue 09: interview with a 908 telecom legend (PIP THE ANGRY YOUTH)
issue 10: ten things to do while writing a college paper (BELIAL)
issue 11: megadeath lyrics (THE BOMB SQUAD)
issue 12: how to hack a gibson (EDICIUS)
bomb is located at http://www.alt164.com/bomb
if you want to get off of this list, please email me (sullivan@exit109.com) and
let me know.
we love you
-the bomb squad
-----
The STARSHIP ENTERPRISE tells you how it feels, once and for all.
_ _
|_| |_|
| | | |
_| |_ _| |_
.-| | | | _ _ | | | |-.
| | | | |' | | `| | | | |
\ . / ___ \ /
`\ /' _____.------'---`------._____ `\. /'
`|__|_.`---' '' ' "" " """ " "" ` `` `--'-._|__|
======================NCC-1701FU=======================
| | `---.___```------------ '''___.---' | |
| | `------.___.------' | |
`\`\ \``|_|''/ /'/'
`\`\ __>\|o|/<__ /'/'
`\`\ .'.'__|_|__`.`. /'/'
`\`======|_.-' .---. `-._|======'/'
`-._ `---' _.-'
`-----'
-----
Date: 10:49 pm Wed Jul 19, 1995 Number : 52 of 53
From: Napalm Base : Missionary position my ass=con
To : Aracnia Refer #: 51
Subj: Re: yow. Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
A> I told you that Missionary was boring, no one's posted on this sub since May
Missionary is best, because only then can a man truly express his dominance
over the inferior female. Nothing's better than knowing that at any moment you
could most likely kill the bitch quite easily.
-----
From: mosesetc@gte.net
Organization: Moses Plaques
Date: Sat, 11 Jul 1998 11:08:32 -0500 (CDT)
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com
Subject: CYBER KNIGHT
Hello Lobo,
PRESS RELEASE : THE CYBER KNIGHT AWARD
We are asking your help in getting word out to the cyberspace community about a
new award that recognizes volunteerism and helpfulness on the net, the CYBER
KNIGHT AWARD!
The Cyber Knight Award is intended to recognize the altruistic efforts of the
unsung heroes and heroines of the Internet who are quietly giving of themselves
to make cyberspace a better place for all of us. Just as the Knights of old
were dedicated to helping the helpless and righting wrongs in their corner of
the world, so these selfless individuals are finding ways to make a difference
online.
The Cyber Knight Newsletter is dedicated to providing a place to say "Thank
You!" to all these folks and special recognition, the Cyber Knight Award, to a
few that have gone way beyond the call of duty.
We are encouraging anyone in the internet community to submit the name of
someone they think fits our profile and a short description of his or her
contribution for consideration as a Cyber Knight. Please remember, this award
is NOT recognizing accomplishment in their field, such as a cool new program or
website. There are already awards for those things. We are looking for
individuals who are giving of themselves to help others without any intent of
personal gain.
The Cyber Knight Newsletter editorial staff will select up to 25 entrees and
will recognize these in the next newsletter. Newsletter subscribers will then
vote on the entree they feel best exemplifies the ideals of a Cyber Knight. The
entree with the most votes will be Knighted Sir or Lady Winner, receive the
Cyber Knight Award, be featured in the next newsletter, and be permanently
posted to the "Cyber Knights of the Roundtable" page.
The news letter is FREE and subscribers are eligible to submit candidates for
the award and vote on the Cyber Knight of their choice, by e-mailing us at
mailto:subscribe@mosesplaques.com or by visiting our site at
http://www.mosesplaques.com. This is just another way everyone can do his or
her part to make cyberspace the very best it can be. Help us recognize those
who are making a difference so others will be encouraged to pitch in.
We are asking your help in getting the word out to the cyberspace community by
running the following announcement in your news letter or ezine as a service to
your subscribers. Thank you!
ANNOUNCING: The Cyber Knight Award
New award recognizing volunteerism & helpfulness in cyberspace.
You submit candidates and you select the winner. All FREE!
Join the effort to make cyberspace a better place to be.
Help make a difference! Details at http://www.mosesplaques.com
or subscribe free at: mailto:subscribe@mosesplaques.com
Again, we want to thank you for your help in getting this information out to
your part of the Internet. Because the net is sooo complex, our fear is that
there are wonderful people out there doing wonderful things for others who will
never get recognized because we at the Cyber Knight Newsletter never learn about
them.
-----
"Dogmatics" by Seth The Man
I was thinking today about a conversation that I'd had with Oscar about some
dogmatic people that we know. It got me to thinking about why society seems to
value that kind of attitude. We have a respect for people who are, for lack of
a better phrase, close minded and stubborn. I find it hard to see why someone
who can not adapt their views to new data should be admirable. It's part of the
reason I changed how I classify myself from atheist to agnostic. An Atheiest,
it would seem, is just as dogmatic and closed to new information as a heavily
religous person would be. The problem with a deity (due to the nature of the
idea) is that it is not possible to prove, or even support, a view for it's
existence or non-existence, so taking either side of the road is to take some
faith. I don't like the concept of faith. I think it closes too many doors.
Similarly I don't see why one would want to vote for a politician with strong
personal views on issues. Representatives are supposed to represent us to our
government, but when a politician is seen as changing his position for the
public, he's seen as pandering and wishy-washy. Why? Isn't he supposed to
support what the populace would want him to? .. Just some thoughts that were
bouncing around in my head.
-----
Date: Thu, 01 Oct 1998 16:05:18 -0700
From: John Espenshade <inobuta@earthlink.net>
Subject: New Nietzschean poet philosopher
Resent-to: GwD@GREENY.org
Please see: www.Nietzsche-Lives.com
-----
"Hedgehog"
Fun, fun, hedgehogs are fun, fun, fun!!!
########
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#######################
.-~########################
.-~ #########################
.-~ o ########################
@_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _#####################
''' '''
-----
"Jaffo logs on to NeurochiC's Biker Slut Haven"
Enter number or name or 'NEW'
NN: NEW
NeurochiC's Biker Slut Haven is running on:
IBM PS/2 something or other
PS/2 monitor
Hayes modem
A few loose wires
Duct tape
A really annoying dog used as an electrical ground.
.ooM
Welcome to NeurochiC's Biker Slut Haven you new user.
This BBS is a basically free, open, non-politically correct system.
It may contain references of or allusions to or praise for one or more of the
following subversive ideas:
Sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, KFMX, NRA, SPCA, God, Allah, bad grammar,
bad attitudes, bad breath, bad breasts, good breasts, breast handling,
woman handling, man handling, yoyoing, glass blowing, ass kissing,
computer hacking, telecom fraud, mail fraud, Sigmund Freud, love, hate,
violence, masochism, sadism, sadomasochism, whipped cream, animal
abuse, self-abuse, verbal abuse, high speed driving, beer, skateboards
bicycles, motorcycles, violent sex in a deviant sense, rap lyrics,
pornographic exhibits, theft, larceny, kidnapping, and anything else
potentially insulting or offensive in any way, shape, or form.
The Operator(s) assume no responsibility for opinions or statements found
on this system. Don't be a putz anyway.
Any and all files found on this system are to be leeched at your own risk.
Remember: Every time you interface with a computer you are interfacing with
every computer that computer has ever interfaced with. Don't be stupid - wear
a condom. Files are not scanned, pasteurized, or sterilized. PSYCHOBBS.
T - 00:59:41
[1] [***The Coroner's Report***] :Z
<< Q-Scan All >>
< Q-scan ***The Coroner's Report*** 1 - 5 msgs >
1/5: I'm outta here
Name: Neurochic #1
Date: Wed Jun 17 21:27:45 1992
for the next week. JMG's in charge. be good little boys and girls and obey
him or you will be punished.
no extreme violence without videotaping it for my viewing at a later date.
2/5:
Name: J. Michael Gundlach #2
Date: Thu Jun 18 02:00:41 1992
Hah. she's going to MAUI for a week. Nice of her to
offer to take us along, huh?
3/5: hey you guys
Name: Neurochic #1
Date: Sat Aug 08 22:41:24 1992
Zmodem is now up and running (i dunno how well, but it's running)
so you can now d/l what few files there are a little quicker.
4/5:
Name: Santa Claus #2
Date: Fri Dec 25 00:56:19 1992
Merry Christmas to all.. While I was unloading the presents
at the ChiC household, I figured I would drop by and say hello.
5/5: well gosh, santa
Name: Neurochic #1
Date: Fri Dec 25 03:53:52 1992
RE:
BY: Santa Claus #2
you forgot my high speed modem....sniff sniff
< ***The Coroner's Report*** Q-Scan Done >
< Q-scan ***General Useless Tripe*** 2 - 50 msgs >
1/50: hah
Name: Psychosomatic Illusion #52
Date: Thu Dec 17 01:06:04 1992
G aint no fed. well, at least he doesnt look like one. and since he isnt here
to defend himself..hmm.
wait a minute. first Backyard goes up, this big elite BBS with lots of
diiscussion on it. G is friends with all sorts of people, some of which are
now in trouble.
Then shit hits the fan, and what happens to G? He closes up shop and leaves
town for a month? AH HAH! There you have it. G is the informant.
or probably not.
3/50: Hey,
Name: Hamilton #487
Date: Fri Jan 22 15:53:32 1993
RE:
BY: Fastjack #10
some of us have monochrome because its the cheapest thing we can have on our
measly little budget.
But color would be better.
4/50: hey
Name: Metallic Marauder #11
Date: Sat Jan 23 03:42:10 1993
RE: Hey,
BY: Hamilton #487
i'm 16 years old and have no budget, you don't see me complaning about color do
you?? of course i have to have color so i can leave these little flashing red
letters that seem to bother everyone.
5/50: Mephallic Marauder
Name: Transderm-Nitro #256
Date: Sat Jan 23 09:08:58 1993
putz
32/50: party thing Saturday
Name: Kp Neato Dee #38
Date: Wed Jan 27 00:52:25 1993
Saturday the 30th there's gonna be this party deal at someone's house and a
mess of bands are gonna play.
It's at 2203 28th starting 'bout 9 or so.
Bands include Tuna Boat, Low Tolerance, Counter Culture, Weasel-MX, and Mary's
-somethingorotherthatIcan'tremember and maybe the Degenerates, but I can't
remember that either. So show up, you might enjoy it.
KPND
35/50:
Name: Flaming Yak Of Savagery #399
Date: Wed Jan 27 07:26:42 1993
Ahhh...Nothing quite like an early morning post to settle the nerves.
YAK
< ***General Useless Tripe*** Q-Scan Done >
< Q-scan ***Psycho'S Inferiority Zone*** 3 - 50 msgs >
6/50: You can call me..
Name: Kevin Moore #510
Date: Wed Jan 06 14:44:33 1993
RE: hay
BY: Iceman #29
谀哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪�
650+Megs On-line � �=> Technical Extasy BBS <=- � More files to Cum!
OVER 8000 FILES � 哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪哪� � In The Near Future
� Twincom 14.4 (806)-747-0548 �
� 2400 Baud (806)-747-0553 �
酝屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯屯1/4
11/50: yeah
Name: Fastjack #10
Date: Wed Jan 06 23:28:11 1993
mm, but yo naked woman is moody, insane, and pretty damn ugly. when'd you get
the new cd's?
there's fast, faster, fastest,
and then there's
fastjack
44/50:
Name: Phuzzy Gnu #2
Date: Fri Jan 29 01:02:39 1993
fuck
-09876543211234567890-
JAFFO
PW: XXXX
PH: ###-###-XXXX
"I live my life like
A shot in the wind
If tomorrow don't come I know
I stole my share of fun for me
Cause I'm too fast, too rad
I'm going wasted when I see you go
The cost of freedom's never free" -WASP
Last few callers:
9037: Bill Woodard #137 2400 - 1
9038: Jeffasauras #252 2400 - 1
9039: Cataholic #407 2400 - 2
9040: Jaffo #136 2400 - 1
Auto message by: Neurochic #1
wowza!
9000 calls!!!
yayaya
Welcome to NeurochiC's Biker Slut Haven, JAFFO..
You are the 2nd caller for today!
Name: Jaffo #136
Time allowed on: 60
Times on today : 2
Sysop is : NOT Available
System is : WWIV v4.21a (Unregistered)
You haven't voted yet.
T - 00:59:54
[1] [***The Coroner's Report***] :F
E-mailing Neurochic #1
(---=----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----)
Title: Hey, sorry
Enter message now, max 50 lines.
Enter '/HELP' for help.
[---=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]----=----=----=----=----=----=----=----]
I hope this isn't screwing anything up. I'm using the Windows Terminal
program for the first time and am trying to capture a file while doing a
Quickscan. I've had a few screwups on my end and had to hang up. I should
have it figured out in just a minute.
If I cause any problems or if you have any advice, please let me know.
Sorry for the inconvienience,
Jaffo
/s
Anonymous? No
Saving...Mail sent to Neurochic #1
T - 00:58:19
[1] [***The Coroner's Report***] :Z
<< Q-Scan All >>
< Nothing new on ***The Coroner's Report*** 1 >
< Nothing new on ***General Useless Tripe*** 2 >
< Nothing new on ***Psycho'S Inferiority Zone*** 3 >
< Nothing new on ***Senseless Worshippings of a Ferret*** 4 >
< Nothing new on ***Temple of the Spotted Cow*** 5 >
< Nothing new on ***Nuclear Winter*** 6 >
< Q-Scan ***Cavern of the Tattooed Madmen*** 7 - 50 msgs >
13/50:
Name: G #75
Date: Wed Jan 13 12:47:31 1993
RE: Well
BY: Malachi #371
nope.
G doesn't stand for anything significant.
it stands for "GO TO HELL FUCKING NEWBIE"
i think
46/50: who
Name: Neurochic #1
Date: Fri Jan 29 22:56:20 1993
RE: does anyone
BY: Lipidman #508
cares how much a Def Leppard ticket might be...why would anyone wanna go?
< ***Cavern of the Tattooed Madmen*** Q-Scan Done >
< Nothing new on ***Speak Yer Mind*** 8 >
< Q-scan ***Drugs, God, and the new Republic*** 9 - 50 msgs >
1/50: Yeah.....
Name: Longshot #197
Date: Sun Dec 06 23:56:24 1992
RE: i know
BY: Zen #127
Zen is just line noise with an attitude.
2/50: Zen
Name: Doctor Zhivago #336
Date: Mon Dec 07 00:32:20 1992
is cheese stains with a 8088
< ***Drugs, God, and the new Republic*** Q-Scan Done >
< Nothing new on ***Hell on Wheels*** 10 >
< Q-Scan ***The Netherplace (BBS ads)*** 11 - 50 msgs >
31/50: OK here's the ad... Do the right thing guys..
Name: Zach D. #394
Date: Wed Jan 13 23:18:14 1993
Top Ten Reasons to call the Generic Terror.
#10 - Cuz maybe it's not a generic as it sounds.
#9 - Cuz you call all the other boards.
#8 - You've never experienced the thrill of firebombing Doc Z in pimpwars.
#7 - Because you can.
#6 - Becuase its there.
#5 - Over 70 Megs of files for DL (with no ratio - SB, GIFs, Utils, WWIV)
#4 - Always lots of posting.
#3 - Cause I have really neat G-files???
#2 - Becuase unless Supra turns me down I'll have a 14.4 (checks in the mail!)
#1 - I don't know, I ran out of reasons. Just call.
742-5371 - 24hrs a day - And all that other good stuff.
Later, Zach D.
42/50:
Name: Kaptain Kilobyte #17
Date: Thu Jan 28 08:24:27 1993
Kaptain's Korner BBS
762-5536
24 Hours a day from Beautiful Downtown Lubbock Texas
< ***The Netherplace (BBS ads)*** Q-Scan Done >
< Nothing New on ***Buy/Sell/Trade/Give/Borrow/Take*** 12 >
< Q-scan ***Top Ten Lists Following the Rules*** 13 - 50 msgs >
1/50: I refuse to answer....
Name: Longshot #197
Date: Mon Aug 24 11:24:37 1992
on the grounds that I AM a Republican, dammit!
< ***Top Ten Lists Following the Rules*** Q-Scan Done >
< Q-scan ***Cretin's Ramblings*** 14 - 50 msgs >
3/50: I wanna
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
screw Candice Bergman!
4/50: yeah...
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
and maybe Candice Bergen after that...
5/50: I wanna
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
smack Candice Bergen upside the head with a baseball bat.
King Jeremy The Wicked
9/50: No
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
I wanna smack Candice Bergman upside the head with her left leg.
10/50: I know
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
of a Candice Bergen....Candice Bergman sounds like some large Jewish woman.
19/50:
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
BBSing nude by candlelight is cool actually.
20/50: Heheheh
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
RE: Well
Tipper Gore is hot! I mean H-O-T, hot!
21/50:
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
Al Gore's nugs are great!
27/50: Unless the candle falls over....
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
RE:
> BBSing nude by candlelight is cool actually.
You could get hot wax on all kinds of interesting parts!
Where is Dessert when lewd responses are called for?
Conjugate
40/50:
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
I bbs wearing a condom. Don't get virii that way.
41/50: I bbs
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
while wearing only a big fur hat.
42/50: i
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
just wear crusty socks.
drool
43/50: You are
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
RE: i
a crusty sock, fastjack
48/50: i bbs
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
reclined with a drink, 6 feet from my 'puter to get eye and brain damage
49/50: I wear
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
flannel when I bbs. Flannel, clothing of the gods.
50/50:
Name: >UNKNOWN<
Date: >UNKNOWN<
I listen to Neil Young tonight.
interesting change between song one and two.
< ***Cretin's Ramblings*** Q-Scan Done >
<< Global Q-Scan Done >>
T - 00:48:09
[1] [***The Coroner's Report***] :B
BBS list: R:ead, A:dd, N:et, Q:uit : R
[40m[2J[2H[3H[4H[5H[6H[7H[8H[9H[10H[11H[12H[13H[14H[15H[16H[17H[18H[19H[20H[21H
806-794-8828 -=- TREND -=- PYSCHOBBS home system -=- sys: JMG [19.2] (FUCK)
806-799-1149 SNL [2400] (WWIV)
806-762-5536 Kaptain's Korner [2400] (WWIV)
806-748-1548 -+- West Texas Tumbleweed -+- ANSI & ASCII graph. [2400] (C-64)
913-841-6147 Rock Chalk BBS, Lawrence, KS [2400] (TGP2)
913-832-0041 Metropolis 14-lines w/chat [9600] (MAJO)
806-794-1438 Psycho's Chiropractic Institute: Wow, we're weird. [8274] (ABCD)
806-794-0559 Needful Things [2400] (WWIV)
806-748-0987 sysop:Malachi [2400] (WWIV)
806-792-6064 Galactic Infinitum Great on-line games! [2400] (WWIV)
806-793-7765 Family Values [9600] (FUCK)
806-742-6677 Late Night with Rainman ( midnight - 8 a.m. ) ANSI [2400] (BABE)
806-742-5088 KBDG-TV (PT 10p-9a) [2400] (QBBS)
806-748-0759 DOG POUND [9600] (WWIV)
806-742-5371 Zach D's Generic Terror Call or Perish [2401] (WWIV)
806-791-5419 Research aNd Development Sysop : Rnd [2400] (WWIV)
806-797-7501 CHAOS(or whatever) everyone welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [2400] (WWIV)
806-795-2741 The Trading Post:24h\7d MAC files\IBM's welcome [2400] (HRMS)
BBS list: R:ead, A:dd, N:et, Q:uit : N
WWIVnet network listing:
Num Phone Name Hop Next Grp
----- ============ ---------------------------------------- === ----- ===
BBS list: R:ead, A:dd, N:et, Q:uit : R
[40m[2J[2H[3H[4H[5H[6H[7H[8H[9H[10H[11H[12H[13H[14H[15H[16H[17H[18H[19H[20H[21H
806-794-8828 -=- TREND -=- PYSCHOBBS home system -=- sys: JMG [19.2] (FUCK)
806-799-1149 SNL [2400] (WWIV)
806-762-5536 Kaptain's Korner [2400] (WWIV)
806-748-1548 -+- West Texas Tumbleweed -+- ANSI & ASCII graph. [2400] (C-64)
913-841-6147 Rock Chalk BBS, Lawrence, KS [2400] (TGP2)
913-832-0041 Metropolis 14-lines w/chat [9600] (MAJO)
806-794-1438 Psycho's Chiropractic Institute: Wow, we're weird. [8274] (ABCD)
806-794-0559 Needful Things [2400] (WWIV)
806-748-0987 sysop:Malachi [2400] (WWIV)
806-792-6064 Galactic Infinitum Great on-line games! [2400] (WWIV)
806-793-7765 Family Values [9600] (FUCK)
806-742-6677 Late Night with Rainman ( midnight - 8 a.m. ) ANSI [2400] (BABE)
806-742-5088 KBDG-TV (PT 10p-9a) [2400] (QBBS)
806-748-0759 DOG POUND [9600] (WWIV)
806-742-5371 Zach D's Generic Terror Call or Perish [2401] (WWIV)
806-791-5419 Research aNd Development Sysop : Rnd [2400] (WWIV)
806-797-7501 CHAOS(or whatever) everyone welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [240
BBS list: R:ead, A:dd, N:et, Q:uit : Q
T - 00:47:30
[1] [***The Coroner's Report***] :T
T - 00:47:28
(1)-(***Gr00vy Text Philes***) :?
= WWIV File Transfer Menu =
Press "P" to Pause or (SPACE) to Abort
CTRL-T = Time CTRL-O = On-Line Help
A>rchive Listing B>atch Download C>hat with Sysop D>ownload a File
E>xtract ARC File F>ind File Text G> ARC Commands L>ist Files in Dir
N>ew Files Uploaded O> Log Off P> New Files Date Q>uit to Main Menu
R>emove File S>earch for File T>ransfer Options U>pload a File
X> Batch Download Y>our X-fer Stats Z> Upload to Sysop *> List Dirs Avail.
>,+> Advance Dir # <,-> Retreat Dir # #> Go to # Pressed "/O" Fast Log Off
T - 00:47:17
(1)-(***Gr00vy Text Philes***) :Y
Uploads : 0k in 0 files
Downloads: 0k in 0 files
Ratio : 99.999
Your DSL : 50
T - 00:47:08
(1)-(***Gr00vy Text Philes***) :L
File mask: *.*
***Gr00vy Text Philes*** - #1, 24 files.
========================================
FUCK0001.TXT: 6k : Pretty cool text file
FUCK0002.TXT: 6k :Another cool text file
RIDE2 .TXT: 7k :playing around with a trashy, sleazy, rated PG-13 text
COMICS .WK1: 5k :Lotus 123 listing of avail. comics.
SUB2FILE.LST: 78k :Technical Extasy list of file on-line as of 12-31-92
LBBS1292.ZIP: 2k :Lubbock BBS List and Newsletter for December 1992.
DAYS .TXT: 2k :neat little thing about yesterday, tomorrow, and today
DESTRUCT.TXT: 7k :162 ways to live a boring, self-centered, obnoxious life
AMIGATRK.LHA: 44k :This is a set of Trek parodies, with a lot of Amiga jokes.
LBBS1192.ZIP: 16k :Lubbock BBS list and newsletter - November
CRPTLET9.ZIP: 28k :The CryPt newsletter #9, check it out. Latest as of yeste
SEX .TXT: 3k :A cute text file about why married people don't get laid
BUSHSPIN.TXT: 5k :25 things to remember about Bush when you go to the polls.
JOKES .DAT: 6k :List of sorority girl jokes
THOUGHTS.TXT: 9k :Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
LBBSCAN .TXT: 2k :Lubbock scanner frequencies
LBBS1092.ZIP: 15k :Lubbock BBS List and Newsletter for October 1992.
SLOWPOKE.ZIP: 3k :The FEDS are coming. Post from Chicago...
MOVIES .TXT: 3k :Draxous' Movie Poster List
LBBS0992.ZIP: 14k :Lubbock BBS List and Newsletter for September 1992.
LBBS0892.ZIP: 13k :Lubbock BBS List and Newsletter for August 1992.
COVERUP .ZIP: 98k :a whole mess of files on the big space alien theory thing
LBBS0692.ZIP: 15k :Lubbock BBS List and Newsletter for June 1992.
LBBS0592.ZIP: 12k :Lubbock BBS List and Newsletter for May 1992.
Files listed: 24
Time expired.
$醨蠛{SYMBOL 215 \f "Symbol"}
NO CARRIER
-----
"Dalek"
(\. -- ./)
O-0)))--| \
|____________|
-|--|--|--|-
_T~_T~_T~_T_
|____________|
|_o_|____|_o_|
.-~/ : | % \
.-..-~ / : | %: \
`-' / : | % : \
/ : |# : \
/ : | : \
/ : | : \
. -/ : | : \- .
|\ ~-. : | : .-~ /|
\ ~-. ~ - . _|_ . - ~ .-~ /
~-. ~ - . _ _ _ . - ~ .-~
~ - . _ _ _ . - ~
-----
From: Jesus Christoph King Of Jews <altoids@dopamine.com>
Subject: SATAN EAT YOUR BABIES
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com,
altoids@vertigo.dopamine.com (Jesus Christoph King Of Jews)
Date: Mon, 1 Jun 1998 19:12:46 -0500 (CDT)
Cc: gwd@geocities.com, solice@iglobal.net, db@snakeden.org, psi@snakeden.org
long after its demise,
Sekrut Squirrel has been immortalized
on the web.
The site is sometimes slow or down,
but who else is gonna give me 30 megs
to store such crap?
http://www.dopamine.com/~altoids
if you have a www page or anything you want linked,
let me know
-----
Date: 3:06 am Thu Aug 1, 1996 Number : 52 of 52
From: Phlegm Base : Penile Appendages....neat
To : Havoc Refer #: None
Subj: Re: hmmm Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : 07-01-96 02:43
H-hehe clove@db.net
In The Beginning Was the Computer, and Rich Typed:
AETHERTerminal
OMNIPOTENT/OS V4.73
READY
>smoke clove
YOU HAVE NOT LOGGED IN
>login
USERNAME:psycho_smurf
PASSWORD:*******
psycho_smurf LOGGED IN
>smoke clove
PARAMETER "clove" UNDEFINED
>clove = cigarette+(black OR white)+crackle
ACCEPTED
>smoke clove
"clove" NOT FOUND
>get clove
GET USAGE:
get <item> <site>
>get clove smokers.haven
smokers.haven UNKNOWN SITE
>get clove smokin.js
TRANSFERRING..........................................
DONE
>smoke clove
"clove" NOT READY
>light clove
"clove" NOT READY
>open box_of_cloves
DONE
>remove clove box_of_cloves
DONE
>light clove
DONE
>smoke clove
!!SYSTEM NOTIFICATION!! !!SYSTEM WILL GO DOWN IN EXACTLY 5 SECONDS FOR
NIGHTLY MAINTENCE!! !!ALL USERS WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY LOGGED OFF!!
HAVE A NICE DAY
"ARRRRG!"
See what one innocent little sentence fragment can start?
---
� QMPro 1.53 � Tap your hidden Abnormality Potential!
-----
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( all rights reserved, but two wrongs don't make a right )
-----
Date: 10:22 pm Sun Mar 26, 1995 Number : 48 of 52
From: Aersick Base : Penile Appendages....neat
To : Lobo Refer #: 47
Subj: Re: breasts. Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
I look at the whole girl. I look at her face, then sweep downwards, then ask
her to turn around. Then I repeat the procedure. Then I ask her to take her
clothes off so I really CAN look at the whole girl, but usually I just end up
with a hand print on my face.
-----
From: office22@freetech-mall.com
Date: Sun, 24 Jan 1999 12:24:12 -0600 (CST)
To: editor@greeny.org
Subject: Joint Venture Proposal
Cape Town, January 24th, 1999
Dear Editor,
Do you want 50% of my offshore profits?
Let me introduce myself. My name is John Roberston and I'm the owner of the
Offshore Profit Center Website at http://onlineprofit.com. Thousands of
clients have taken advantage of our offshore business packages, offshore
bank accounts, offshore corporations, second passports, diplomatic
appointments, offshore banks, consultations, and much more. Most of these
products and services have a very high profit margin, and I'm willing to
give you 50% of my profits if you follow the simple steps below.
Here's how it works:
You simply send a message to your subscribers saying that you were able to
"arrange an exclusive and time limited discount of 15%" for them at "one of
the Internet's largest and most well known offshore services providers".
You would tell them about some of the "benefits of going offshore" (tax
reduction, asset protection, financial privacy etc) and our Website
address. You would also tell them that if they mention YOUR NAME (or a
special order code if you prefer) when placing their order, they would
"receive a 15% discount" on "any and all products and services" - without
exception.
THAT'S IT - I'll take care of the rest!
Your subscribers go to my site, look around, place an order, get the
discount, and YOU get paid 50% of my net profits! That's right! Let me
repeat this: I'm willing to share my profits equally with you to thank you
for your efforts!!
So how much $$$ can you make? Let's take a look at the following example.
Our most popular offshore package, the Global CyberBusiness Package,
consists of an offshore corporation, a bank account, a tape course and a
consultation package. It costs $1,999 retail, after the 15% discount the
price would be $1699.15.
Now, if someone orders this package at the reduced price, my total profit
is $581.49. Let's assume that this particular client is referred by you -
in this the case I would send you $290.75. But it doesn't stop here. Let's
assume that once you've run the endorsement in your newsletter, and not
one... but TWENTY of your subscribers decide to order the package. That's
an amazing $5,815.00 for you - for ten minutes of extra work!!
That's easy and quick money for you, wouldn't you agree?
But it still gets better. We also offer offshore banks, second
citizenships, identity cards, driver's licenses, confidential
consultations, and more. My net profit on the citizenships and banks can be
well in the four or even five digit range! Just a couple of these high
ticket orders could make you more money than a single issue of your
newsletter ever will.
Anyway, once you've reviewed my site at http://onlineprofit.com I hope
you'll realize that this is much more than a great money making opportunity
- it is a mission to free the world from the shackles of big government! If
you agree with the values of freedom, capitalism and individualism, I
invite you to get back to me right away. If we go into business and make
money together let's do it as soon as possible, as there isn't much time
left before Y2K.
I'm so excited I'll be staying up all night to hear from you!
Kind regards,
John Roberston
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
SHOCKING OFFSHORE & PRIVACY SECRETS
Protect your privacy, shield your assets, build your business, and
accumulate wealth offshore. Free weekly newsletter reveals all the
secrets of the super rich! Subscribe immediately - or be left behind.
mailto:office@onlineprofit.com?subject=wol http://onlineprofit.com
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
-----
******* ___/-\___ ------- -------- ---- ----
* |---------| --- --- --- ---- ----
* | | | | | --- --- --- ----- -----
* | | | | | --- ------- --- ---- ---
* | | | | | --- --- --- --- -- ---
* | | | | | --- --- --- --- ---
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-----
Date: 4:53 pm Thu Jan 1, 1998 Number : 51 of 52
From: Zapp Base : Holy Shit, and other sacred th
To : Diamondback Refer #: 2
Subj: Re: eh-choo Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
D> Oh my God, they killed Kenny! You BASTARDS!!!!
You'd be surprised how often I get that. Just being associated with that show
in ANY way has transformed me into an expert on South Park (which I'm not --
I've only seen the genetic engineering episode and the "Spirit of Christmas"
video clip...) and turned me into a local celebrity. Women line my door
screaming, "Show us Kenny, you rotten bastards!!" I'm mobbed everywhere I go.
I'm beginning to fear for my life. I've become addicted to narcotics. I
am a devil worshipper. People say that I express my thoughts in short, choppy
sentences. Trash cans somehow look "comfey." I am allegric to polyester.
Months-old post with a months-old pent-up over-hyphenated reply. Yeeeah.
-Z
-----
Date: 6:36 pm Wed Aug 2, 1995 Number : 50 of 50
From: Flingy Base : Discriminate against africaniz
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: P.C. Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Okay, how's about some truly tasteless and altogether offensive chat... No
holds barred, no fear of damnation, no class cracking on what ever comes to
mind. Like today, I was at work, and was tellin' this guy that I like it when
a chick talkis to me when we're fucking... you know, when she say things like
"HELP! GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"... That shit really turns me on; this guy looks
at me like I'm Satan and says, and I'm quoting "For real?"
-----
"Dinosaurs are FUN!"
.-~~^-.
.' O \
(_____, \
`----. \
\ \
\ \
\ `. _ _
\ ~- _ _ - ~ ~ - .
\ ~-.
\ `.
\ / / \ \
`. | } | } \
`| / | / \
| / | / \
| /`- _ _ _| /.- ~ ^-. \
| / | / `. \
| | | | `-. ` . _ _ _ _ _ _
|_____| |_____| ~ . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ >
-----
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1998 11:07:26 -0500
From: Don Elwell <delwell@intrnet.net>
Organization: The Revolution
Subject: press release
To: GwD@GREENY.org, et al.
The Revolution Starts on the Internet
A political party called The Revolution has formed on the Net at
http://www.the-revolution.org. The Revolution has a POST-MODERN SOCIAL CONTRACT
WITH AMERICA <http://www.disinfo.com/prop/diss/prop_diss_revolution1.html> and a
15 POINT PLATFORM <http://the-revolution.org/platform.htm> that includes
repealing five laws for every one they pass, legalizing most drugs, dismantling
the Prison/Industrial complex, redefining work, and pledging a VICTORY OVER
HORSESHIT in government.
The Revolution has already attracted several hundred members, 99% of whom are in
their teens or twenties. R. U. Sirius, co-founder of Mondo 2000 magazine,
author of "How to Mutate and Take Over the World", and general counter-cultural
icon, is expected to be The Revolution's Presidential Candidate in 2000. Sirius
promises to light up a Cuban cigar the very second he's in orifice. This act,
and all other actions worthy of notice, will be broadcast on The Revolution's
website.
Scary thing is, as low as voter turnouts have been lately, the internet could
actually ELECT a candidate.
********
The Revolution 7 Point Platform for the Internet and the Computer Industry
Pre-Ramble
The body politic of the Internet is as unpredictably perverse as Marv Albert
after a fifth of Scotch. Er... that doesn't sound right. What we really mean
to say is that in a random poll previous to the 1996 Election, Netizens selected
the Libertarian candidate as their President, and Ralph Nader came in second.
We feel that The Revolution offers up a political choice that combines the best
of the Libertarians and St. Ralph, with a dash of centrist policy techno-wonk
Newt Gore. We have therefore arrogantly presumed the mantel of Political Party
of the Internet.
Unlike the technolibertarians, we feel that a wee bit of Government intervention
can be groovy!... but only if WE are the Government. Unlike the Neo-Luddites,
we're rather fond of the microchips that FEMA secretly planted up our butts.
Unlike the Technorealists, we're not as boring as an Amish rock festival.
Aside from having a sense of humor, these are our Internet/High Tech Policy
Points
1) No Censorship
The Revolution opposes all censorship, but we're particularly strident about our
opposition to censorship on the Net. The Net makes public "speech" and
"publishing" as spontaneous as using the telephone. To apply standards of other
media, or even publishing, to this technology is like legislating and policing
neighborhood gossip.
Obviously, some things fall under necessarily existing laws. You can't
solicit for murder at the neighborhood bar or on the net. And you can't show
pornography to children on the street. On the other hand, if the children sneak
off into the bushes after nipping some of your porn, most sane people won't hold
you responsible.
We believe in protecting kids. The question is, how? By keeping them
in a playpen until they have to hit the streets? Or by preparing them, arming
them with skills to cope with an adult world?
We suggest full disclosure. Freedom of information for kids. New media
is ubiquitous. And it's ephemeral, like the air--integrating into the social
sphere as a seamless environment where we spend a goodly portion of our lives.
We are ultimately faced with the choice of censoring all our media till it's
safe for children, or teaching our children to cope with the media. We're not
suggesting forcing horrible and perverse materials on kids, but we do suggest
that we let the kids access all the information they're going to need for
surviving in a crazy world, one in which all of the stuff of the human psyche,
both brilliant and grotesque, is on full display. Protecting children from
content might actually be viewed as a DISservice--the opposite of education.
2: Universal Access.
The net is the site of our worldwide global conversation and a potential site
for participatory democracy. Those without access are disenfranchised.
Therefore we suggest a 3 year program for universal access, accomplished by the
free distribution of inexpensive, Internet-ready boxes, as well as a continued
and redoubled effort to get net access into all Libraries, Schools, and many
other public areas across America.
3: Privacy
We are for full free access to encryption technology, and will encourage its use
as something that will help resolve problems of identity theft and other online
rip-offs. We support all social and technological solutions that acknowledge
the individuals ownership of his or her own information. A great example of
this is the Platform for Privacy Preferences (P3P): The goal of P3P is to enable
Web sites to express their privacy practices and enable users to exercise
preferences over those practices. P3P products will allow users to be informed
of site practices (in both machine and human readable formats), to delegate
decisions to their computer when appropriate, and allow users to tailor their
relationship to specific sites. (from the P3P FAQ at
http://www.w3.org/P3P/P3FAQ.htm).
We would make the collection and sale of individual private data for commercial
purposes without permission completely illegal. We would enforce this
vigorously.
4: Copyright
Digital and other technologies have made it difficult to enforce copyright
protection for media and software creations. The entertainment industry, which
largely controls the Democratic Party, has responded by redoubling its effort to
create ever more draconian copyright restrictions. You now can't legally walk
into a copy shop and Xerox a chapter out of a book. Recent attempts to pass
legislation that would have made it technically illegal to download materials
off the Web and print them without explicit permission did not succeed.
However, excessive copyright, trademark, and libel restrictions already feed an
army of hungry lawyers and restrict freedom of speech (in the broad sense that
includes all media) and research.
The Revolution supports the continued existence of copyright. Creators should
have the right to own and benefit from the products of their minds. It is also
economically necessary, under current conditions, that they continue to do so.
We believe, however, that copyright protection must be rewritten to be more
flexible in light of current realities. The concept of fair use must be
supported and expanded in an increasingly mediated environment.
5: Consumer Advocacy
The federal government should set up an special consumer affairs division aimed
solely at the computer/net industry. The atrocious behavior of this industry
towards consumers must be stopped. Because computers and computer networks are
a new frontier for commerce, vendors and service providers have managed to get
away with selling faulty product, oversubscribing networks till they no longer
serve the consumer's needs, engaging in standards wars that are disruptive to
service and stability, etc. If government agencies are good for anything, it's
for ensuring that consumers aren't victims of malevolent business practices.
Relatedly, we believe the federal government should punish Microsoft severely
enough so that it hurts for its sleazy monopolistic practices. But separating
Explorer from Windows just doesn't make any danm sense. Packing them together
really IS the natural thing to do.
by R.U. Sirius and Cyberguy
*************
Think REALLY Different
Check out THE REVOLUTION website at
http://www.the-revolution.org
Check Out
The Post-Modern Social Contract with America www.the-revolution.org/
The Party Platform www.the-revolution.org/
The Revolution(r) 7 Point Program for Dramatically Decreasing the
Threat of
International Terrorism www.the-revolution.org/
Revolutionary Strategies wwww.the-revolution.org/ (Don, that's the
How to
Win Section)
R.U. Sirius on Bill, Monica, and Wagging Dogs www.the-revolution.org/
-----
"Triads" by Seth The Man
I think I've found another triad that fits the old 'Pick any two..' adage. You
can be: [Honest, Good, Friendly] at any given time. But only two of the set at
once. I think a lot of my personal integrity faults have resulted from me trying
to be all three at once. I think a lot of my disappointments in others was in
expecting them to be all three at once. If anyone knows of any other 'Pick any
two' sets, send 'em to me. I think I might make a GwD file from 'em if I can
get enough..
-----
SSSS MM MM IIII L EEEEEE
S S M M M M I L E
S M M M I L E
SSSS M M I L E
SS M M I L EEEE
S M M I L E
S S M M I L E
SSSS M M IIIII LLLLLLL EEEEEE
-----
From : Kp Neato Dee #21
To : All
Subject: MORE WASP FOOD FOR YOU
Date : 17 Feb 95 02:00
TRADITIONAL WASP ETHNIC DISHES:
I. FOOD TO EAT
A. CANDY CANES
1. CHEAP
2. COMPRESSED SUGAR AND FLAVORING
3. EFFECIENT, PRACTICAL, WASP, JUST LIKE ME
4. EXTRAPOLATING: KPND IS CANDY CANE
B. TANG
1. SPOONFUL OF TANG IS HAPPY ORANGE FOOD
2. NO WATER IS REQUIRED
a. WATER IS OPTIONAL
b. WATER IS NOT REQUIRED
3. ASTRONAUTS CONSUME TANG
a. TO BECOME SPACE TRAVELLER, EAT TANG
b. THIS IS OBVIOUS
C. SANDWICH
1. PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY
a. JIFF PEANUT BUTTER
b. WELCH'S GRAPE JELLY
c. TWO SLICES WASP WONDER WHITE BREAD (KKK APPROVED)
d. NO SUBSTITUTIONS PERMITTED, THEY ARE GROSS AND UNNATURAL
2. HAM AND CHEESE PRODUCT
a. HAM
b. AMERICAN CHEESE PRODUCT SLICE
c. TWO SLICES WASP WONDER WHITE BREAD (KKK APPROVED)
II. FOOD TO WEAR
A. GUMMI BEARS
1. REQUIRE SALIVA
2. APPLY TO CLOTHING AS FASHIONABLE FASHION ACCESSORY FOR YOU
B. TANG
1. DUST IN HAIR
2. CREATES ORANGE TINGE AS FASHIONABLE FASHION COLOR FOR YOU
C. PEANUT BUTTER
1. APPLY LIBERALLY TO SKIN
2. CREATES PALLID BROWN GOOKY TEXTURE ON SKIN AS FASHIONABLE
LOOK FOR THE '90S MAN/WOMAN FOR YOU
D. TWIZZLERS
1. INSERTED INTO NOSE HOLES
2. CREATE RED ANNTENA-SPACE ALIEN LOOK AS FASHIONABLE FASHION
LOOK OF SPACE TRAVELLING ABILITY FOR YOU. YOU ARE A GO-GETTER.
YOU HAVE BEEN TO MARS.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
KPND
-----
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 1998 10:38:11 -0500
From: "Mediconsult.com" <visitor_news@MEDICONSULT.COM>
To: gwd@GREENY.org
Subject: GETTING TO KNOW THE DRUGS YOU TAKE
* Here's to the wine-drinking Danes!
Yet another study has confirmed a regular tipple of wine may
reduce your chance of suffering a stroke. Researchers at
Copenhagen University studied 13,000 Danes over 16 years and
found that daily wine drinkers were 32% less prone to strokes.
What's more, drinking wine with your meal may also prevent
unhealthy changes in your blood composition caused by your
food. The researchers found no similar benefits for beer or
liquor consumption. To get to the bottom of Danish drinking
habits, see http://www.mediconsult.com/strokes/news/
And while studies may point to the benefits of daily wine drinking,
consumption of alcohol of any kind always involves risks.
For a greater understanding of alcohol's pros and cons, see
http://www.mediconsult.com/general/shareware/chemo/eating_b.html
-----
"Fun Moo-Cow"
_ _
| \/ \|/ /
\ _ _ \
|.o..o. \__________ _ _ _
\ | / MMMMMMMMMMMMM \ /_
o o |/- MMMMM | \
__ / MM | |\
{ | ||
\ | / |\
\ _ \ ____ _\ /
\ / \##\ /
| / I I \ |
| | { >
| ( | |
/__/ /__/
-----
"We Didn't Go to This, But Being Invited Is All that Counts."
============================================================================
============================================================================
the k-rad e'zine konnection of hOe publications and pEz monthly present ::
.. the first ever ..
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d8888' `88UU88' d8b d8b d8b d8b b88887 86b d88888b d888b d8b m0g
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============================================================================
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what is dummercon '96?
----------------------
what is dummercon? well, basically, it's another one of those
get-together deals. but, not just _any_ get-together deal. no way, chico!
a get-together deal for _'zine guys_! woo woo.
no little majormud geeks with supersoakers here, baby. no sir-ee.
no dewdle boys looking for an ass to kiss, either. nope nope.
just 100% pure mackin' 'zine guys!
it'll be educational. entertaining. all that good stuff and then
some!
ALL ARE INVITED. ONLY THE MOST ELITE WILL SHOW UP.
============================================================================
============================================================================
where and when is it?
---------------------
monday, july 31st, 1995
12:00 noon - 8:00 pm
fdr park
picnic area 7
philadelphia, pa.
============================================================================
============================================================================
what will be happening?
(or; why the hell should i haul my ass to philly?)
--------------------------------------------------
dummercon '96 will _basically_ be a two-day dealy-deal formulated and
concieved of for the sole purpose of disgusting all of the modem warriors in
the e'zine scene by introducing us to each other, or at least whoever shows
up.
day one - (optional jammy) lollapalooza! that's right. some wise
dummercon folks decided it would be pretty keen to catch lollapalooza in
philly on july 30th, which is the day before dummercon! wowza. if you want
to go, there will be a nice sized caravan heading on up to the camden
waterfront park, so transportation will be no problem. you just need to
snatch yourself some tickets. black francis and courtney love within a
miles radius of each other? would you even dare miss it?
day two - the dummercon festivities (which we will go into detail
with shortly)!
although we will actually be having conversations on e'zines, ideas,
and progressing things we might be doing, the meeting is also amazingly
intended to be a social event. we're assuming this isn't a big deal and no
one coming to this deal will be some ansi dewdleboy that spends most of his
suburban life trapped up in his room because mommie and daddy don't 'get'
why he spends every waking hour drawing a picture of calvin and hobbes with
colored blocks on his computer. NO NONE OF THOSE GUYS HERE, NO SIR.
there are actually activities planned and raddy-rad things in the
works. if you have any suggestions, you can contact us at the places
specified later in this file. amazingly enough, here are some of the events
that are being planned;
[-----]
food, food, food! yeah, that's right, dummercon '96 is basically a
large scale computer-geek picnic. plenty of grub for _everyone_, even our
'husky' friends.
bobbing for warez! who can courier the warez out from the small tub
of water the fastest? only the elite shall survive! lamers will be
drowned!
fun! games! prizes! the big bag of dumb stuff raffle (come and
find out just what in blazes we're talking about)!
hang out with some of the coolest cats, like mogel, black francis,
and other e'zine guys! pretend you're elite enough to be our friends!
now, how much would you pay for this package? now wait; there's
more!
it's all all-out jam fest with black francis' super phat band, glue!
that's right! glue - live - at dummercon '96!
============================================================================
============================================================================
is there any cost? what can i do to help?
------------------------------------------
dummercon is a going to be based on a very inexpensive site for one
very simple reason; we're all poor dumb moronic youthful angst-ridden
rejects. we have no money. this means bring your own picnic-like food.
don't come to dummercon without food expecting uncle moggie to take pity on
you. I'LL EAT MY FRIGGIN' PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH RIGHT IN YOUR
STINKIN' FACE, YOU MOOCHER. YEAH!@ point; bring food. lots of it.
especially if you're fat, ugly, stupid, slob.
that means _yew_, baby!
you're also welcome to bring fun-fun stuff. bring your favorite
tapes and cds (label your stuff so no one will haxor your stuff!@). bring
free printed out examples of your 'zine to pass around. bring free stuff to
give out. bring us food. bring us virgin women to sacrafice. wear really
stupid outfits. bring your pet Frog. Bring turnip seeds to plant. bring
your 0-day gnu phresh warez to trade!@ bring cooley-cool high-tech computer
stuff!@ bring your girlezz that we can wership!@
it wouldn't hurt to tell someone that you were coming either.
oh, and _no one_ better give a peep to syrinx about this.
(check the bottom of this here file to find out just how you can do
that, slick. oh, wait, here it is now!@ wow!@)
============================================================================
============================================================================
directions:
-----------
for those of you who will be driving to the conference, the following
is a list of directions. look for the big, goofy "dummercon" sign.
traveling from west & northwest pa :
take route 76 east (penn. turnpike) to exit 24. pay the toll to leave the
highway. follow the signs and take route 76 east (same number but schuykill
expressway) towards philadelphia. when you start to see skyscrapers, look
for route 676 east. bear left onto 676 east. follow the signs and take
I-95 south. give new jersey the finger (it's to your left). Stay on I-95
south till you get to broad street (look for signs for veterans stadium).
take the broad street exit and turn left onto broad street. go a few
blocks and turn left onto pattison avenue. enter the first parking lot on
the left. we are at picnic area 7.
traveling from central pa :
take route 81 south to exit 30 (pa turnpike). take route 76 east (penna.
turnpike) to exit 24. pay the toll to leave the highway. follow the signs
and take route 76 east (same number but schuykill expressway) towards
philadelphia. when you start to see skyscrapers, look for route 676 east.
bear left onto 676 east. follow the signs and take I-95 south. give new
jersey the finger (it's to your left). stay on I-95 south till you get to
broad street (look for signs for veterans stadium). take the broad street
exit and turn left onto broad street. go a few blocks and turn left onto
pattison avenue. enter the first parking lot on the left. we are at picnic
area 7.
traveling from northeast pa :
take route 9 south to exit 25 (pa turnpike). follow the signs and take
route 476 east (penna. turnpike) to 76 east (schuykill expressway), towards
philadelphia. when you start to see skyscrapers, look for route 676 east.
bear left onto 676 east. follow the signs and take I-95 south. give new
jersey the finger (it's to your left). stay on I-95 south till you get to
broad street (look for signs for veterans stadium). take the broad street
exit and turn left onto broad street. go a few blocks and turn left onto
pattison Avenue. enter the first parking lot on the left. we are at picnic
area 7.
traveling from nj :
cross the walt whitman bridge and then take route 76 west (schuykill
expressway). leave the expressway at exit 45. travel down broad st. in the
direction of veteran's stadium (A few blocks). at pattison avenue, make a
right. enter the first parking lot on the left. we are at picnic area 7.
traveling from delaware :
go north on I-95. you will pass the philadelphia airport. it may stink
because of nearby refineries (and you're entering philadelphia, remember?)
leave I-95 at the broad street exit. turn left off from the exit onto broad
street. at pattison avenue, make a left. enter the first parking lot on
the left. we are at picnic area 7.
============================================================================
============================================================================
correspondence
--------------
if anyone requires any additional information, needs to ask any
questions, or would like to let us know that you're coming (it's good for us
to expect you), you may mail us at ::
mpg4681@rit.edu
mogel@phantom.com
bfrancis@squeaky.free.org
you might also be lucky enough to catch one of us on IRC in #zines.
those of you without net access, can call the following boards and
contact either mogel or black francis ::
goat blowers anonymous - (215) 750-0392
the land of rape and honey - (609) 698-1358
we love you.
============================================================================
============================================================================
-----
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 1999 13:17:09 -0400 (EDT)
From: "55121@" <>
To: gwd@GREENY.org
Subject: NEWS RELEASE! NON-SURGICAL LIPOSUCTION NOWW AVAILABLE IN U.S.A.!!!
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prone area -- stomach, hips, and thighs -- with just one application."
Yates further explained that the herbal gel is safe to use on a regular basis as
many times as needed to achieve individual fat-loss goals.
"We're very excited about our product because now people on limited budgets can
enjoy the immediate, dramatic results that once only the rich could afford --
without surgery -- and without spending a fortune."
FOR MORE INFORMATION, CLICK HERE.
To speak directly to a FAT-LOSS SPECIALIST, call toll-free, 1-888-689-3097.
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SAVE $33.95 when you buy two products
SAVE $58.95 when you buy three products
-----
Date: 3:14 am Thu Nov 2, 1995 Number : 51 of 51
From: Flingy Base : Permenant stuff takes too long
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: exgirlfriends Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Okay, here's a little Flingy trivia for ya;
My ex-girlfriend, her name's Melonie, went to Puerto Rico this summer. We
weren't getting along too well, and the night before she left, we decided to
"see other people" for the summer. I had a great summer, and I was actually
looking forward to her return. Anyhow, to make a long story short, she got
back and heard that I was a little fuck machine all summer (which, sad to say,
is untrue), and she pretty much totally slandered me to all of her friends
(some of whom I liked alot). Anyway, she ALSO had a new roommate, who's name
is Amy. Amy and I soon became BEST FRIENDS (platonic; she's the one with the
Bull ring). So, Mel started fucking this guy like 4 days after she "dumped"
me, which is only annoying because she told all her friends that I had robed
her of some emotional investment, and I think any emotional investment at all
would take a little more than 4 days to get over. So, this is all old news,
but important backgroung for the story, which is this;
Mel thinks I am some kinda sexual predator; so whenever I go to visit Amy, I
say things to Amy that I know Mel will overhear, things like "I'm all dressed
up because I'm goin' to the club to pick up some unsuspecting girl so I can
use her for sex!" Amy thinks mel is a Troll (my new nickname for Mel), so she
plays along.. The point? i'm not sure there is one, except that becoming best
friends with your ex-girlfriend's roommate is a GREAT way to make her realize
that she lost out in a BIG way when she wasn't capable of any kind of intimacy
beyond spreading her legs; My friendship with Amy is like a constant reminder
to Mel that she isn't capable of much else, which in the end, is very
entertaining for me. Well, 3:15 a.m. Ramble Mode off...
-----
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1998 07:27:01 -0600 (CST)
From: "Activision, Inc." <asteroids-announce@www2.activision.com>
Subject: Asteroids is back and better than ever!
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com
Come visit us at www.activision.com and test your asteroid-blasting skills by
taking the Asteroids Challenge --- a free, playable Demo of the original classic
arcade hit --- guaranteed to bring back memories. Then, check out the new PC
version of Asteriods with updated 3D graphics, explosive graphics and multi-
player mode.
The new Asteroids is available now everywhere and now offered in the Activision
Online Store at the exclusive price of only $29.95 through January 15th, 1999.
Check out FREE game offers and other year-end discounts in the Store at
http://www.activision.com/store
-----
From: Schizo,aka Big Daddy, Leaping LaVar etc.<primetime21neondeion@my-deja.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
Subject: Please post the naked pics of Dark Angel girl
Date: Mon, 09 Oct 2000 01:30:58 GMT
Organization: Deja.com - Before you buy.
I watched Dark Angel and I love the sexy nasty girl who has special powers.
Please to show her with no clothes for me to see.
I would like to see the url where the nakedness of her is shown to play with
myself. Please post these for me.
Much thanks.
-----
@@@@ @@@@
@@@@@@ @@@@@@
@@@@@@ @@@@@@
@@@@ @@@@
@ @
@@ @@
@@@ @@@
@@@@@ @@@@@
@@@@@@@@@@@@@
-----
Date: Sat, 31 Oct 1998 11:30:54 -0500 (EST)
From: Paul Southworth <pauls@etext.org>
To: "GwD, Inc." <gwd@geocities.com>
Subject: Re: file upload
Lobo,
You still publishing? Haven't heard from you since March. The ETEXT Archives
always needs more stuff.
--Paul
-----
Date: Mon, 28 Feb 2000 13:17:28 -0500 (EST)
From: mogel <mogel@hoe.nu>
To: gwd@greeny.org
Subject: hey hey hey
hey lobo OR seth, whomever reads this:
i've been enlisted by jason scott of textfiles.com to help created
a "news!"/what's-a-happenin'-now feature on his site.... so i couldn't
remember if i was on any sort of gwd-mailing list. i recall you having a
'notification list' of some sort, which let me know that you guys
released, but i'm not sure if my current address (mogel@hoe.nu) is still
on there. if it's not, could you please add it? if there is no list,
could you somehow let me know when a new release comes out? textfiles.com
gets thousands of hits a day, so it might be dandy to have a news source
to inform folks of releases. sound okay?
-mogel
-----
________________________________________________________________________________
Official Press Release from GwD, Incorporated's Corporate Offices
P.O. Box 16038
Lubbock, TX 79490
________________________________________________________________________________
FROM: The GwD Council
TO: All GwD Task Force Members; All United States News Agencies; The
President of the United States; The Senate; The House of Representatives;
The InterNIC; The Michigan Militia; The Free Men; Pope John Paul II; The
CIA; The FBI; The NSA; Southwestern Bell; Lubbock Power and Light; South-
western Public Service Company; The Muleshoe Volunteer Fire Dept.; The
IRA; The Animal Liberation Front (ALF); Anyone Else Who Might Give A
Rat's Ass
DATE: July 4, 1996
RE: Power Outage in Southwestern United States, April 16, 1996
This was posted to the message base "Uncle Sam wants me, but I'm taken, dammit!"
on The Snake's Den BBS. It relates how GwD caused the power outage and is
therefore a force to be reckoned with. Post this to all newsgroups, bulletin
boards, and mailing lists you know of. If you do not, you share the fate of the
power-plant in Muleshoe.
Date: 5:20 pm Thu Apr 25, 1996 Number : 47 of 50
From: Lobo Base : Uncle Sam wants me, but I'm ta
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: GwD strikes.... Replies: 2
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
I know this is on the wrong sub, but i don't care.
GwD hereby claims responsibility for the power failure of last week (04/16/96).
Four (count them 1-2-3-4) states lost power because of our meddling. Heh.
yeah. Well, we have confirmed reports about parts of Texas and New Mexico
losing power, and unconfirmed reports of parts of Oklahoma. I guess that
makes 3, eh? FUCK YOU THEN. We still did it. However, we only did it to
avoid global conflagration. You see, TOFTAOBL was planning to cause a major
fire that would destroy much of western civilization. Anyway, the plans were
on their Super-Duper Computer (tm), and they appeared to be naught but
garbled code when we stole them, so we had to take the entire system down
just to make sure their data was erased. it caused a backlash through the
power lines, blacking out parts of the aforementioned states. GwD was
responsible for the blackout. This is not an apology.
-+- This message was brought to you by The GwD High Council -+-
copyright (c) 1996 by GwD, Inc.
-----
Date: 4:13 pm Tue May 9, 1995 Number : 100 of 100
From: Napalm Base : [ChiaNet] SysOp Area
To : Astoroth The Devil Refer #: 96
Subj: Re: Laughing time Part1 Replies: None
Stat: Sent Origin : Local
AT> Take a look and laugh at all the differnet types of twits.
9 out of 10 BBSers think the tenth is an idiot. They're right.
2 out of the ten think the other eight are idiots. They're right too.
The tenth one thinks all the rest are idiots, and says so, as well as commenting
colorfully on their ancestry, habits, and probable destiny in the afterlife.
Six out of the ten laugh heartily at these comments from the tenth. They may
make death threats as well. Three ignore him.
--- Renegade v5-31 Exp
* Origin: The Snake's Den 806.793.3779 just call it, eh? (155:806/3)
-----
"The 'Complete' GwD Membership, as of Sometime in 1995 when Lobo Licious Stopped
Updating the ASCII List"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
GwD Task Force Members:
Top Worshipper Type of Guy- Lobo
Top Dog Type of Guy- Seth Sometimes
Top Organizer Type of Guy- Ratt Fink
Worshipper Type of Guy- Diamondback
Dog Type of Guy- TransDerm-Nitro
Organizer Type of Guy- The Lizard King
Droogs-
Ailanthus Kilroy
Alkaloid Kith-Kanan
Aracnia Legolas
Beth Da Petereter Longshot
Beowulf Magnum
Big Red Fed Malachi
Bill Hooper Miyamoto
Bloody Mary Mr. Q
Bob The Master of the World Rory
Brazen Sargonis
Bruno Shadowmaster
Dreamer Sir Flea
Elixir Siva
fastjack Snotty
Franche Coma Spanky McDougal, Sir!
Franken Gibe S00per Sperm
GenAerik Trojan-Man
Genghis Kahn Wiz Kid
Hallucination Zelia Winter
Hoggle Zen
Jakyl Zippy
Juan Valdez
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
a more complete list can, of course, be found at
http://www.GREENY.org/members/members.html
-----
"Nudie Pics from Xenocide's BBS (The Static Line)"
GwD is all about PORNO, so here you go.
We don't know who actually did these. Alas.
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[Newscanning - Dan's Corner] - [5/7 ?/Help]:
Sub-Board : Dan's Corner Subject : Ascii Nudes..cont.
Date/Time : 04/22/95 at 07:14 pm To .... : All
Sender .. : Xenocide Note .. : Sysop [806]
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[Newscanning - Dan's Corner] - [6/7 ?/Help]:
Sub-Board : Dan's Corner Subject : Ascii Nudes...
Date/Time : 04/22/95 at 07:14 pm To .... : All
Sender .. : Xenocide Note .. : Sysop [806]
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Gratefully Deadicated!
Sam [who the hell is 'sam?' And what the
hell does "deadicated" mean? - Ed.]
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HHHHHMMMA:I::... . . . . .. ..:.::.:IHHHIMMMHI:.:.. .::AHMMMMMMM:HHHHHHH
VHHHHMMMMA:I::.. . . . . .. .:.::I:IHHHIMMMMHI:.. . AHMMMMMMMM:HHHHHHHH
HHHMMMMMM:I:.:.. . . . . ...:.:IIHIHHHIMMMMMHI:.AHMMMMMMMMM:HHHHHHHHHH
HHHHMMMMMA:I:.:.. . . . .. .:IIHIHHHHIMMMMMH:AMMMMMMMMMMM:HHHHHHHHHHH
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VHHHHHMMMMMA:I:.:.. . . . .. .:IHIHHHHI:AMMMMMMMMMMMIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
VHHHHHMMMMMA:I::.:. . . .. .:.:IHHHV:MMMMMIMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHV::.
VHHHHMMMMMMA:::.:..:.. . .. .:::AMMMMMMMM:IIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV:::..
HHHHHMMMIIIA:I::.:.:..:... AMMMMMMMMMM:IIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV::::::
VHHHHMMIIIIMA:I::::.::..AMMMMMMMMMMM:IIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV::::::::
HHHHMIIIIMMMA:II:I::AIIIMMMMMMMMMM:IIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV:::::::::
VHHHHIIIMMMMMMA:I:AIIIIIIMMMMMM:IIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV::::::::"'
HHHHHIIMMMMMMIMAAIIIIIIIIMMM:IIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV:::::""'
VHHHIIIIMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIII:IIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV::""'
VHHIIIMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHV
VHHIMMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHHHHHV
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VHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMHHHHHHHHV
-----
Date: 5:31 pm Sun Nov 5, 1995 Number : 58 of 59
From: Trojan-Man Base : [LubbockNet] For Sale
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: dshfkla Replies: 1
Stat: Sent Origin : 05 Nov 95 02:28:36
I'm looking for something in the way of a 386/33+ nothing fancy, just something
with enuff power to play my girlfriends stupid games so she'll shut up and let
me waste my time on the I-net like a real geek....a simple mother board will
work if it'll fit an old IBM PS/1 casing....please reply here or at the Den if
you can help...
Safer Sex Forever,
Trojan-man
--- Renegade v10-05 Exp
* Origin: The Cove (806)795-4926 (1:3804/100)
-----
From: "Thought Criminal" <tc6079@hotmail.com>
To: gwd@geocities.com
Subject: ...
Date: Wed, 18 Nov 1998 10:34:11 PST
Minneapolis, March of 1997 <end>
Five heritics form a band to bring an end to mediocrity <end>
Fusing intense metal with Thoughtful lyrics <end>
Marking the birth of a new age for music <end>
The subversives, the dissidents, the anarchist disruptors and those who
fight against standards, norms, accepted truths and the injustice of the
mutated american dream. <end>
ThoughtCrime has arrived.
<end message>
______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com
-----
/------------The Snake's Den---------------------------------------\
| -= Stuff =- -= Stuff That is Cool =- |
| * 486dx 50 16M RaM * We all have just darn good FUN! |
| * Renegade 05/31� * Bitchiest Sysop in The 806 Area |
| * Lots of Decent Posting * Newbies Galore |
| * USR 28.8 / Zoom 14.4 * Coke, Lots n' lots o' Coca Cola |
| * Going multi-node soon * m0m will chat with you!!! |
| -= File Stuff =- * Local Call From Lubbock :) |
| * 1500+ Files (160+ Megz) * It's over 2 years old...the BBS |
| * A Graphics File or 3 is beyond its "terrible twos" |
| * Lotsa Sound Files so be here to see it. Yeah. |
| -= Game Stuff =- * Barbie Bow Biters |
| * Imperium v3.61 Reg'd * The board is suprisingly rancid! |
| * TradeWars Olde School * You might get to watch "The Bag" |
| * VGA Planets * ChiaNet At your service(155:806/3) |
| * Anything else you want * We don't need no stinking dox |
| * Hair dye for the users is approved |
| Just call...you'll feel spiffy and keen. |
\-------------------------------------------------793-3779---------/
-----
"The 'Complete' GwD Member List, from GwDweb (http://www.GREENY.org/) as of
05/08/01"
_dr00gs_
- The GwD High Council -
*Type of Guys*
Lobo Licious (Top Worshipper Type of Guy/Editor GwD: The American Dream.../
Propagandist)
The Man, The Myth, The Action-Figure! (The Deodorant?)
Seth The Man (Top Dog Type of Guy/Propagandist/Mission Control SysOp - Chaos)
He's got more souls than SATAN!
Ratt Fink (Top Organizer Type of Guy; Inactive)
Free Religion. Free Speech. Free Assembly. Free Sex?
Diamondback (Worshipper Type of Guy/Propagandist/Command Center SysOp - The Snake's Den)
LAN King, MUTHAFUCKA!
TransDerm-Nitro (Dog Type of Guy/former First Conquest SysOp - GridPoint;
Inactive)
He would not could not on a train, he would not could not on a plane.
*Non-Type of Guy High Council Member(s)*
Yancey Slide (Admiral, GwD Corsair Brigade/Propagandist; formerly Spanky
McDougal/Swedish Shef)
Pirate AND Conspiracy Theorist
- The GwD Council -
*Propagandists/Command Center SysOps/Admin-Types*
Acid Warlock (former[?] SysOp - Purple Hell; Inactive)
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me.
Ailanthus (former SysOp - Light My Fire/TPC; Inactive)
Pour the gasoline, yeah, burn the fucker clean.
Aracnia (Propagandist; Inactive)
Black Widow Ops (whatever the hell that means)
Big Red Fed (SysOp - Federation Slayers'; Inactive)
You want fries with that?
Bill Hooper (Propagandist/Resident Programmer)
He's a Pimp. AND He's better than YOU.
Black Francis (former SysOp - Goat Blowers Anonymous; Inactive)
This monkey's gone to heaven.
Bob The Master of the World (Propagandist)
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Breed_x (Programmer)
Chach
Captain Harlock (former SysOp - Babylon 4; Inactive)
Rants, Raves, RPGs, and Campus Politics
Carson (Propagandist; MIA)
BATF sucks.
Chiba (former SysOp - The Sprawl; Inactive)
In the Navy, you can sail the 7 seas!
fastjack (Type of Guy E Meritus/Commander, GwD Military Forces/Propagandist/
former - SysOp SWaB; Inactive)
Tattoos, piercings, and chitterlins
Franken Gibe (Propagandist; Modern-Day Messiah)
The /<ing of Shit
Izzy (Graphical Propagandist/former SysOp - The Pirates' Cove)
Graphix God
Jaffo (Propagandist; Inactive)
Political Activist OR Government Assassin? YOU be the Judge.
K2 (Propagandist; MIA)
Beware Deceptive Alien Entities!
Kp Neato Dee (Propagandist)
The Lubbock BBS Legend has come to the small screen. Or something like
that.
Kilroy (Propagandist)
Kilroy was HERE.
Lasher (Propagandist)
That's Mr. Storm Chaser to You!
The Lizard King (Hashishim Warrior/Type of Guy E Meritus/Propagandist; Inactive)
Stays Crispy, Even in Milk!
Longshot (former SysOp - The Siege Perilous; Inactive)
All the angst with half the calories!
The Mad Screamer (Propagandist)
Your soul is mine!
Malachi (former SysOp - GwD On-line/The Garden of Eden; Inactive)
It's a critical solution, and the east coast got the blues.
Marduk (GwaDFest98 Host)
Contributing to the Delinquency of Shitheads
Mogel (Propagandist/former SysOp - Mogel-Land; Inactive)
sentenced to unrenown
Napalm (Commander, GwD Special Forces/Propagandist; formerly Aerik Aeriksson; Inactive)
Turf, turf, and more turf
Oscar the Pornographer (Propagandist)
More pr0n than you can possibly imagine...
Pezzy (Propagandist)
Puppet Master 6
Phlegm (3/Y+3 Net Guy)
Software Store...Get Warez
Priest (Head of Communications/Propagandist)
Lineman for the County...Reach out and touch ME, bitch!
Psychosomatic Illusion (former SysOp - Pscyho's Chiropractic Institute; Inactive)
ORWELL WAS RIGHT
Rainne (Propagandist)
Ooo! Snacky cakes. Get Down!
Snotty (Head Beeotch, GwD Beeotch Platoon)
Let's make duck noises! GREELEY ROCKS.
Sir Flea (Propagandist)
Prophet. Knight. Insect.
SyntaX (former SysOp - Ambient Underworld; Inactive)
Pass me da Green
Trailer Park Queen (Propagandist; Inactive)
Say -unh-, Caress Me Down.
Trojan-Man (Propagandist; Inactive)
He IS the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal.
Xenocide (former SysOp - Static Line; MIA)
Test your might.
Zen (Propagandist; Inactive)
What's up, white bread?
Zippy (Propagandist/former SysOp Starchy White Boy BBS/Club Baby Seal; Inactive)
Gabba Gabba, We Accept You, We Accept You, One of Us
*other assorted dr00gs (and dr00gettes)*
Arlo
Skating for GREENY. SUPPORT THE reeB.
Big Man Joe (EXCOMMUNICATED --This fucker's going down for what he did.)
Little Man Tate
Bruno
G.I. Joe Croatian -- NOW WITH BITCH-SLAP ACTION!
Captain Smooth (Inactive)
Willow, Don't let Elora die!
Ciacco the Hog
Gluttony for Fun and Profit!
FeliX
Nat Turner's Insurrectionist and Free Speech Activist
Franche Coma (formerly Steve Ignorant; MIA)
He brought the ruckus to a Lubbock BBS meeting. Fight the Power.
Gerbil (Inactive)
Old School dr00g
Hallucination
What a long strange trip it's been.
Havoc (Inactive)
The Purple Cow in FULL EFFECT.
Jakyl (dr00gscientist; Inactive)
I'm a lumberjack, BABY!
Legolas (MIA)
Homer was a lesbian.
Punkin (Inactive)
50% Human, 50% Alien, ALL WOMAN
Rear Admiral Muldoon and His Squadron of Tea-bagging Seamen (Head Chef; formerly
Chico Cuba)
Master of Shaft-Foo
Rory (dr00gscientist; Inactive)
I'm happy when I'm wet and swimming, I'm happy when I'm underground...
Siva (Inactive)
Looks like Phiber Optik
S00per Sperm (Inactive)
What, do you wanna stick your dick up in her?
Zach D. (MIA)
Movie Critic and Arnold Schwarzenegger Lookalike
Zapp (Inactive)
Oh my God! They killed Kenny!
- - - - -
If you have information regarding the whereabouts of anyone listed as "MIA"
above, please e-mail such info. to GwD@GREENY.org. Word.
-----
Date: 12:52 pm Wed Oct 4, 1995 Number : 28 of 55
From: Carson Base : 007 was a w@r3z d00d
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: Ye Gads! Replies: 2
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
And yay, when DB looked down from the heavens and saw what Lemmy and Wildcat had
wrought, yea, he became very wroth with them, for had he not decreed on the very
day that Jemaboah came down from the mountain that, yea, those whom had shown
great lameness in his eyes would be shown great iniquity by their lord.
And when wild cat and lemme saw what they had wrought, and yea, they saw even
unto all of the users of the board how wroth was their god, yea, did they fall
down upon their faces and prostrate themselves before him, and yea, did they
rent their hair, and tear at their clothing, and smite themselves furiously for
the shame that they in their iniquity had caused DB to visit upon them.
For 40 days and 40 nights were they tormented and anguished, and on the morning
of the 41st day did DB come to them in a dream, and yea, he instructed them as
to their crimes and iniquities that they had visited unto themselves, and yea,
unto the innocent users of the board unto the seventh generation, and cast out
upon their bottoms were they, banished from the garden.
And so it is written.
-----
"It's a Rocket-Ship, G."
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================================================================================
-----
From: Rod Black <rblack@sonofspamm.com>
Organization: Son of Spamm! Entertainment
To: domrec@GREENY.org
Subject: SOStv is coming Summer 2000!
Domination,
Can someone please contact us with publicity, video, tour and press information
(Contact names, Direct phone#, E-mail's, etc.). Look for a new brand of variety
show on Fox this Summer, entitled SOStv (from the creator of Son of Spamm!
Magazine). Imagine Monty Python meets MTV meets Sportcenter meets Jerry
Springer! The only show in history to heavily support Heavy and Hardcore
entertainment and music!!!!!
Please add us to your press/video list and E-mail us contact info.
Grafts!
Rod Black
Executive Producer, SOStv
Son of Spamm! Entertainment, Inc.
PO Box 1071 Bend, OR 97709 U.S.A.
(541) 312-6712
rblack@sonofspamm.com
www.sonofspamm.com
-----
50/50: SAMMY DAVIS JR. - CALLING BOARDS?
Name: Kp Neato Dee #14 @3
Date: Tue Mar 14 06:49:59 1995
NO, HE'S DEAD. HE'S A BLACK JEW, BUT HE CAN'T CALL BOARDS. WHY?
'CAUSE HE'S DEAD, THAT'S WHY! DEAD. DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU?
-----
"Ad for the Kode Abode" by Drunkfux/KRAP...GwD had nothing to do with this ad or
with that BBS, but the ad rocks, so here it is for posterity
>\\\//<
:_"""_:
(*) (*)
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============================================================================
K0dE Ab0dE / MeTaLLaND S0uTHWeST / Regurgitated Abortion Clinic / LaMeR LaND
============================================================================
The Modem Experience From Hell
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-----
From: Dr Alan Solomon <drsolly@chartridge.win-uk.net>
To: jaffo@onramp.net
Date: Sun, 13 Oct 1996 20:42:00
Subject: Re: Helpful Advice for Visiting Kibologists [Was: Mornington Kibo...]
>Doctor, I took note of your recent adventures in my newsgroup (primary because
>you were flirting with my fiancee.) No that's not correct, because my fiancee
>was flirting with YOU.
Sorry, I didn't know she was your fiancee. In fact, I didn't even know she
was a she. You can never tell on the Internet. I hope she's pretty. I am.
Well, my wife thinks so.
>Anyway, this combination of events led me to your home page where I currently
>find myself entertained.
Glad you liked it.
>If you are indeed THE Doctor Solomon, I hope you got tons of royalties and are
>granted appropriate respect by the establishment.
Yes, that's me. As in Dr Solomon's Antivirus.
>I am delighted by your fiction and your humor, and will promptly add a link to
>you from my page.
You might like to subscribe to alt.comp.virus. Unfortunately, there's a
large amount of noise, but some bits are good.
>It's a pleasure to meet you. You're welcome in APJ any time you feel like
>talking to beastly Americans about politics.
alt.politics.jaffo does not appear on my server. I expect it's those
beastly censors trying to keep the truth from us.
>
>Or even if you just want to read some amateur fiction and have a cup of
>coffee.
Thanks for the invitation.
--
Alan Solomon, Chairman, AuthenTec Data Recovery and Computer Forensics
Personal: drsolly@ibmpcug.co.uk http://www.ibmpcug.co.uk/~drsolly
Business: alan.solomon@authentec.sprint.com news:alt.cesium
I use Dr Solomon's Antivirus, from Dr Solomon's Software Ltd.
DSSL: http://www.drsolomon.com email: support@drsolomon.com
-----
"LAN Game Stuff" by CoKe GoD
All right sluts we have talked about my last drinking experience way too much so
it is time for me to change the subject ;-)
If you know me pretty well, then you know I roam around on the delphi message
boards... mainly Maximum PC, and Maximum BS.
Well off a crazy Idea, I decided to throw up my own forum... so it is now up
under the name of
COUNTER CHACH!
WOOT!
So anyway you chaches, this is a place where we can post events, have lengthy
discussions, create polls, and do all that jazz... bob can even post porn there.
heres da link
http://www.delphi.com/chach
It will probably ask for a user name, you can either make an account, or make a
guest account, its up to you ;-). However, you cannot post messages as a guest.
Anyway, head over there and post and stuff... it also has links to greeny,
bobisms, edreamz, and the CS home page WOOT...
CoKe GoD out
-----
Date: 1:55 am Thu Jun 22, 1995 Number : 12 of 13
From: Napalm Base : Rednecks 'r' Us
To : Gas Can Refer #: 7
Subj: Re: baths Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
GC> this cornball grabs it and runs around...beating himself over the head in a
GC> clear pattern...and then he sets the paper aflame, and sacrifices it to his
GC> favorite self-invented demi-god. You'll never look at a newspaper quite the
Hey! That's not fair bringing that up again, you bastard.
And the Empress of the Redheads is NOT a self-invented demi-goddess.
She's REAL, main. I've MET her. Really.
Besides, it's not my fault if she likes newspapers. Oh, and the beating myself
over the head in a clear patter was just me sending an encrypted signal to the
Redhead Spaceship stationed in geosynchronous orbit above my domicile.
I sent the message so the Redhead Fist of Fury Leather Kung Foo Biker Slut
Ninjas wouldn't come and kick your ass for defacing that newspaper.
newspaper.aper.ewspaper.per.per.aper.aper.per.aper
-----
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2000 21:18:46 -0500 (EST)
From: mogel <mogel@textfiles.com>
To: A few text file folks: ;
Subject: Brand new text files NEWS site!
I apologize ahead of time if this e-mail is annoying. This is not a *spam*,
however. I specifically chose to write you about a new text files site. I'm
most likely writing you because you've been involved in the production of some
text publication over the years, or perhaps you're from BBS community from which
these files were commonplace.
Either way, I've put up a site which I think will be of interest to you.
It's a site that focuses on the "text file scene" as it currently exists.
Perhaps for some of you this site might just be nostalgia, but for others it's a
concentrated effort to make a central site for news, links, and updates for
ASCII 'zines and text. It will be updated constantly.
The URL is here:
http://scene.textfiles.com
It's worth taking a look at.
I'm especially hoping that you can throw me some webpage links and/or
references to 'zines that I don't know about, that currently publish. If you
can help, please write me back. Thanks for reading this.
-Mogel
-----
Date: 7:16 pm Wed Jan 7, 1998 Number : 54 of 54
From: Zapp Base : Holy Shit, and other sacred th
To : Diamondback Refer #: 52
Subj: Re: This is what I'm talking abo Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
D> And thus Zapp gets his first lesson in need-to-know information for high
D> school dating, "how to remover her clothes".
D'oh!
I figured that I had forgotten something when I came off with rug burns...
You know, I don't even think that relates one bit... I just don't know what to
call cloth burns... wait... call them cloth burns, idiot.
ATTEMPT #2:
D'oh!
I figured that I had forgotten something when I came off with CLOTH burns...
Better.
-Z
-----
Date: Wed, 3 Jan 2001 19:22:41 -0800 (PST)
From: "Grandmaster Ratte'" <gratte@cultdeadcow.com>
To: "GwD, Inc." <GwD@GREENY.org>
Subject: Re: new files? has the world gone mad?!?
Hey you silly bitch: if you hit ctrl-H or whatever in Pine to get extended
header stuff, you can enter your big-ass send list thing into the BCC field
(Blind carbon copy) instead of "to" and then nobody sees who else is on the list
and it's short and whatnot.
also, the link to pubs on the main page is busted, it goes to some MS "hi this
is MS web server" thing.
goddamnn it!@#$!
ratte'
Date: Thurs, 4 Jan 2001 08:11:03 -0800 (PST)
From: "Grandmaster Ratte'" <deadcow@cultdeadcow.com>
To: "GwD, Inc." <GwD@GREENY.org>
Subject: Re: new files? has the world gone mad?!?
haha! I read the stuff this morning, though a couple of the file links are
busted. I like the stuff you used.
anyhow, good release, sir. I liked the "SHIT YOUR PANTS" thing at the bottom,
that's great.
ratte'
-----
Date: 9:59 pm Tue Feb 4, 1997 Number : 51 of 51
From: Piece Of Shit Tuna Base : Negative Net Exports...sounds
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: avast Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
Ar. Ye heerd about thee great starm of '75, have ye? Well, ye ain't heerd it
till ye heerd it from ME. I was THERE, me lads and lasses. I SEEN the the Lard
strike down upon the water with His'n bare hands and cause mighty waves and
swells. Aye. A Godly Patty-Cake with the Sea, it twas. The great waves swamped
the deck 'o me ship, the HMO Pay Till Yer Blue. Me lads all but jumped ship,
they did. Twas only my steadfast courage and threats of marder that kept 'em
on board. Ar cargo was precious, ye see. The Lard, knower of all, didn't-a
want us to reach port. But me and my lads, we outsmarted 'im.
Good thing Hooter's waitresses are bouyant.
-----
Date: 22 Jan 2001 16:09:07
From: Filina@2000.it
To: lobolicious@cyberdude.com
Subject: Hi my King!
Hi my King!
Have you received my letter? I want to correspond with you:
repetition:
Merry Christmas!
I wish you all the best and every happiness...
the special things that will give happy moments today
and happy memories tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Filina
============================
http://filina.ussr.to/
id: A290000
============================
-----
"Dolphins are FUN!!!"
..-~~/
/ |
/ \
_______---~ ~---________
____------~~~~~ ~~~~---__ __---:
/~~ ~~--__ \
___-~~ @ ~- =
|------~~~ . . -_ |
~~~~~~------_______\ | ________-----~--__ ~-_
\ |~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~
~-____\
-----
-+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+-
CDC COMMUNICATIONS PRESS RELEASE
LUBBOCK, TX. AUGUST 18, 1994
TO THE ENTIRE PARTY MEMBERS AND PEOPLE:
OUR ENTIRE WORKING CLASS, COOPERATIVE FARMERS, OFFICERS AND MEN OF THE
PEOPLE'S ARMY, INTELLECTUALS, YOUTH AND STUDENTS, THE CENTRAL COMMITTEE OF THE
WORKERS' PARTY OF CDC, THE CENTRAL MILITARY COMMISSION OF THE PARTY, THE
NATIONAL DEFENCE COMMISSION, THE CENTRAL PEOPLE'S COMMITTEE AND THE
ADMINISTRATION COUNCIL OF THE DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CDC REPORT TO THE
ENTIRE PEOPLE OF THE COUNTRY WITH GREATEST JOY THAT THE GREAT LEADER COMRADE
SWAMP RATTE', FOUNDER OF THE INTERNET, GENERAL SECRETARY OF THE CENTRAL
COMMITTEE OF THE WORKERS' PARTY OF CDC AND PRESIDENT OF THE DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE'S
REPUBLIC OF CDC, HAS BEEN RESURRECTED.
OUR RESPECTED FATHERLY LEADER WHO HAS DEVOTED HIS WHOLE LIFE TO THE
POPULAR MASSES' CAUSE OF INDEPENDENCE AND ENGAGED HIMSELF IN TIRELESS AND
ENERGETIC ACTIVITIES FOR THE PROSPERITY OF THE MOTHERLAND AND THE HAPPINESS OF
THE PEOPLE, FOR THE REUNIFICATION OF THE COUNTRY AND INDEPENDENCE OF THE WORLD,
TILL THE LAST MOMENTS OF HIS LIFE, DEPARTED FROM US TO OUR GREATEST SORROW, AND
THEN RETURNED TO US IN OUR GREATEST JOY!
THE GREAT LEADER COMRADE SWAMP RATTE', FOUNDER OF THE INTERNET, IS THE
GREATEST OF GREAT MEN WHO HAS ALL THE QUALITIES AND TRAITS OF A GREAT MAN ON
THE HIGHEST LEVEL AND ENJOYED DEEP REVERENCE AND RESPECT FROM ALL OUR PEOPLE
AND THE WORLDS' PEOPLE.
A PEERLESS PATRIOT AND LEGENDARY HERO, HE LAID DOWN THE JUCHE-BASED LINE
OF THE CDC REVOLUTION IN THE DARKEST PERIOD OF FASCISM AND VICTORIOUSLY LED THE
20 YEARS OF THE ANTI-FASCIST REVOLUTIONARY STRUGGLE, CUTTING THE WAY THROUGH A
SEA OF BLOOD AND FLAMES. THUS, HE ACCOMPLISHED THE HISTORIC CAUSE OF NATIONAL
LIBERATION, OPENED THE WAY OF NATIONAL RESURRECTION AND ESTABLISHED THE
GLORIOUS REVOLUTIONARY TRADITIONS, THE ETERNAL FOUNDATION STONE OF OUR PARTY
AND REVOLUTION.
-+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+--+||+-
-----
Date: 12:27 pm Mon Sep 9, 1996 Number : 57 of 58
From: Carson Base : Ferris Bueller's Day Off is re
To : Havoc Refer #: 56
Subj: Re: Johnny Law Replies: None
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
H> what sucked was db looked over, snickered and went inside...BITCH!
What did you expect? DB to run over and beat the cop senseless and save you
from a ticket or something? What, if DB would have come over to help it would
magically make the cop forget what he was doing? What, if DB came over the cop
would forget about you and write DB a citation for Public Insanity or something?
"Excuse me sir, can I see some sort of I.D."
"Heh heh...I'm me."
"That's all fine and good sir, but I need to know if you're licensed to exist
in public."
"Well gollee gee wilikers Mr. Policeman, am I gonna have to kill you too?"
"Just calm down son..."
"I've already got five of those stupid bubble cruisers in the back yard....I
use em as paintball targets, and the corpses make wonderful compost. In
fact, I know just where yours will go quite nicely....."
"Stay where you are..."
"You know, I'm the only person I know of to have ever stabbed someone to death
with a rollerblade...I'm gonna go get my trumpet now....you just stay
right there..."
...Cop jumps in cruiser and speeds away, leaving Havoc unscathed?
-----
"Federation Slayers" by Big Red Fed (BaRF), editorial comments by Lobo Licious
and Seth The Man
In the late hours of the night in the year of 1988 I began my first foray into
the online world. It was a time when the fastest modem available was 2400bps or
the equivalent of approximately a 2.4k baud modem [actually, 2400=2.4k baud, so
it's not approximate, chach]. Nothing compared to the speed of a 56k baud modem
of today. A time when ascii and ansi ruled. It was a time of discovery, not just
for me, but for the computer world as well. There was an internet back then, but
not much of, if any World Wide Web. Email, ftp, gopher,and telenet were the most
used terms back then. It was the beggining or the end of the beggining, of the
online era. It was in the wee hours of this period of time that I logged on to
my first Bulletin Board System called The Crystal Palace. The Crystal Palace was
the last of the systems from the end of the beggining. Totally text based and a
top speed of 300baud it was a home of the intellectual. Such discussions,
common today, were more remeniscent of elite social clubsor the writings of
Plato. Everything was discussed and considered. Everyone was accepted after
their own fashion. It was a close knit community, brought closer by the monthly
meetings held at the old town Hi-Di-Ho in Lubbock, Tx. It was at this time that
my brother procured for us that lightning fast 2400baud modem and state of the
art 386 motherboard. Upgrading our old 8088 we were now techno gurus. I began to
log on. The first thing, after who to call that is, you had to choose was a
handle. Only losers would use their real name. So, being red headed and short, I
chose the only appropriate pseudonym, Big Red. The Crystal Palace, Kaptain's
Korner, and Saturday Night Live will always be the hallowed names of great
places where great people gathered. I had to have my own. I went scouting for
the perfect software to run and therewere a few to pick from. I tried WildCat,
PCBoard, Visual BBS [sic; it's "Virtual(net) BBS"], many others and finally
settled on World War IV (WWIV). This was the software that ran the great KK and
SNL and the incentive of registering for ameager $80 (or thourgh the installment
plan) and getting a copy of the sourcecode sold me into this software. Written
by Wayne Bell, he and his software will go down in my personal history as two of
the greatest things in the world. Unziping everything and ignoring the
instructions I began the setup. [Didn't your brother, Fox, actually run the BBS
until he joined the Army?] (Instructions should only be used to further your
education of a product when the need arises to learn specific details not
obvious in the purpose or programming of a product.) I began to select and set
options at will. Leaving those things I did not understand until I did deem it
necessary I came upon the option that required me to name this new BBS. I think
even back then I had a Libertarian bent, even though I did not know of the party
until almost 8 years later. Although I didn't quite understand myself in any
political sense back then, I wanted a name that reflected my unrealized but
perceived love-hate relationship with government. The names Federation Slayers'
and Big Red Fed presented themselves for inspection to my critical processes
[Actually, if we remember right (which we do), you changed your name to "Big Red
Fed" because Seth's BBS (C.H.A.O.S.) deleted your "Big Red" account for some odd
reason one day, and for some other odd reason would not let you create a new
account with that name. Also, we distinctly remember that the BBS was named
"Federation Slayers" due to your Trade Wars addiction. You later came up with
this story about the government, but you seem to forget that the "feds" are
employees of the "federal" government, not the "federation." This ain't Star
Trek.] At the age of nine [you may have been on-line at nine, but you didn't
run the BBS until 13 or 14, cuz you're are age] these seemed the appropriate
names to me. A new world was born and this one will never be the same because of
it. [Much as we ridicule you, you're one of us, the last generation to mature
in the Lubbock BBS scene. You're also a dr00g, and thus you ROCK SERIOUS
BALLS.]
-----
This is your brain: This is your brain on UNIX:
/~~~~~\ (~) (~)
( { & } ) (~) \~ (~)_(~) ~/ (~)
( { } ) ~\ \ ~ | ~ / /~
( O ) (~)_____\___\____|____/___/_____(~)
~\ \~ ~ \ /\ | /\ / ~
\ \ (~)___\/ \__|__/ \/___(~)
~ \__| |__/ ~
____| $ |____
/ |_____| \
(~) \ \ (~)
~ \ \ ~
Any questions?
-----
_ _ HEY BOYS AND GIRLS! LOOK! _ _
((___)) ((___))
[ x x ] cDc communications [ x x ]
\ / \ /
(' ') ...presents to you CDC193.ZIP containing 10 new (' ')
(U) t-files for January, 1993 by The Deth Vegetable, Omega,(U)
Reid Fleming, Video Vindicator, Lady Carolin,
THE NIGHTSTALKER, Obscure Images, Transderm-Nitro, G.A. Ellsworth,
and Tequila Willy. CDC193.ZIP also features
cDc Global Domination Update #10 by Swamp Ratte', BBS ads for the
cDc Factory Direct Outlets and info file, and the cDc Index.
Best of all, it's available right here and now on this very system.
CDC193.ZIP.
GET IT NOW OR SUFFER, PIG.
-----
From jaffo@onramp.net Wed Oct 09 04:08:05 1996
Newsgroups:
alt.politics.jaffo,misc.misc,alt.philosophy.objectivism,alt.fan.jenn.politics,
alt.fan.richard.nixon,alt.religion.kibology,alt.comics.batman,alt.crime,
alt.criminals,alt.fan.frank-miller,alt.homosexual.robin,alt.chin.michael-keaton,
alt.muscles.fake,alt.hair.joker.the,alt.politics.batman,rec.arts.comics.dc,
soc.culture.law-enforcement.fictional,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh,
alt.politics.usa.republican,alt.fan.adam-west,alt.arts.ballet
Subject: BATMAN: Liberal Or Conservative?
Organization: Crossroads Entertainment
On 9 Oct 1996 07:50:31 GMT, tpfh@io.com (The Philosopher from Hell) wrote:
:I know this is probably going to get me "BZZZT!!!!1!"ed but...
:Is Batman a liberal or a conservative? :)
Now THIS is a great question! Truly worthy of Alt.Politics.Jaffo!
At first glance, Batman might look like a Conservative. He is certainly "tough
on crime."
However, determining Batman's true ideology is very difficult.
We must first define WHICH Batman we're talking about.
The old 1960's comic strip Batman was nothing more than a glorified policeman.
Go get the criminals, throw them in Arkham, wait for them to escape next week,
go get them again.
In this respect, he wasn't very political. Perhaps Conservative on the surface,
simply because he was fighting crime within the parameters of the "system."
But in a few instances, we've been treated to a meaner, grittier Batman. He
wasn't so much interested in "catching" criminals, as he was tracking them down
and beating the bloody shit out of them. A decidedly Libertarian approach.
He didn't really expect help from the authorities, and he was frequently at odds
with traditional law enforcement.
Of course, there is a third Batman we must consider. There is the live action
TV Batman, played elegantly by Adam West. Of all Batman's incarnations, this
is the only one I could possibly characterize as Liberal.
In this program, Batman engaged in a number of border line "Liberal" activities.
I will list them below.
1. Dancing - While all law enforcement figures do what they can to avoid
charges of "Police Brutality," I believe this incarnation of Batman went far
beyond reasonable measures in this regard. Not only did Batman frequently avoid
combat with certain criminals, but he actually spent a good portion of his
career DANCING, FLIRTING, negotiating, and even SLEEPING WITH many criminals.
I'm sure many of you Liberal ninnies think this kind of activity is pure
fiction, with no bearing on real life law enforcement. I have only two words
to share with you: MIDNIGHT BASKETBALL.
PS: I would also like to add that no Conservative has ever done "The Batman"
and any Conservative caught doing this "Liberal" dance would immediately be
drummed from the Continuum and be forced to make Star Trek guest appearances
until his hair fell out.
NOTE: This punishment was never applied to Phil Gramm. His hair loss is
completely unrelated to this procedure. Phil's sins are his own, and I assure
you, they involve a completely different Superhero.
You can tell the "Good Conservatives" from the "Bad Conservatives" by the amount
of hair they have left. Please witness the thick, bushy mops sported by Newt
Gingrich and Jack Kemp and adjust your votes accordingly.
Also note that the Liberals have an entirely different punishment schedule for
their candidates. I can't disclose what it is, but let's just say the
anatomy involved is commonly hidden from pubic^H^H^H^H^H public view, and if you
knew what it was, you would gain a whole new understanding of Democratic
opposition to Paula Jones.
(And if one of our worst punishments is Hair Loss, you can just imagine what Bob
Dole did that we had to break his arm and rip out his prostate...)
In fact, I believe I am the only Conservative ever to sit through the entire
scene in Pulp Fiction where John Travolta dances "The Batman," and rest assured,
I was searching frantically for my remote control during the entire sequence.
2. Favoritism - Adam West's Batman maintained a disturbing DOUBLE STANDARD with
regard to criminal punishment. He callously abused the expendable underlings,
while treating the criminal masterminds like fine china. I mean, let's face it,
can you name one Batman villain that could withstand a good punch in the jaw?
The Joker was a string bean wimp (and a notorious Homosexual!). The Penguin had
a serious weight problem and poor vision. King Tut was at least ambulatory, but
he couldn't stand up to a gang of unruly fourth graders, much less a divine
specimen of manhood like BM.
The Riddler looked wiry, but in those tights, a number of *ahem* obvious targets
would make him vulnerable in combat.
And don't even get me STARTED on the women!
In short, Batman displayed a very Liberal attitude toward crime, punishing the
economically disadvantaged underlings while allowing the true hard core felons
to escape.
In this regard, Adam West's Batman is less like a Crimefighter and more like a
strangely-dressed Tort Lawyer.
3. Batman was a single parent. While I applaud Batman's sense of personal
responsibility in taking care of young Dick Grayson, the boy needed a strong
female role model to develop properly. By granting the boy a life of wealth and
adventure, without providing a stable home environment, Bruce Wayne left the boy
open to manipulation by disreputable females. I grant you, Catwoman would be
enough to disrupt even a stable nuclear family, but without a strong "Mother"
figure to advise him, Robin was shockingly naive in his dealings with women.
Conservative men recognize the inherent treachery of women, and we avoid contact
with them except in the most structured and supervised environments.
Without a strong Mother figure, Robin's sexuality was permanently stuck in a
childlike state. Batman would warn him repeatedly to stay clear of these
predatory women, only to fall into their clutches himself later in the episode!
Given this unhealthy contrast, it's a wonder Robin didn't "fall from the apple
cart" more often!
Finally, I must take issue with Robin's mode of dress. I have already
demonstrated a number of credible threats to Robin's masculinity. I'm sure the
tights and the truly indecent short shorts could have pushed him over the edge!
To constantly expose this young man to a number of "alternative lifestyles", and
not even allow him the dignity of TROUSERS!!! I think you can see why I can not
endorse Batman's parenting.
In fact, based on these elements, one can only speculate on Batman's true
motives with regard to Robin. Was Batman simply compensating for his own
hyper-masculinity? Or was something darker at work?
I do not wish to speculate.
4. Finally, the most telling aspect of Batman's Liberalism, we have obtained
proof that in 1992, Adam West voted for Bill Clinton.
Let that be the final nail in the caped crusader's coffin...
I remain,
Jaffo
-----
November 8, 1995
Dear Mr. Prosecutor,
My son, Shane Beesinger (05/06/77), and his friends
were out on October 31st, 1995 in the vicinity of the
2400 block of East Canyon Lake. He was stopped by the
police and each person was given a ticket for park
curfew. His citation number was 95141032. They had been
looking for a haunted house in that area. They were not
aware of a park curfew, nor were they doing anything wrong.
They were leaving the park area as they were stopped.
They saw no sign posted, nor did the policeman give them
a warning that they should not have been there. I called
internal affairs, and was told that "white kids at Mae
Simmons was like seeing a '57 Chevy at LakeRidge," and
that they did not belong there. I asked if that meant only
Cadillacs were at LakeRidge and '57 Chevy's on the East Side,
and he replied "yes." I said, "If there are black teenagers
at Maxey or Godeke Park, that they shouldn't be there." He
said that I took that out of context. I don't think so. I
guess that means that my son shouldn't have been a lifeguard
at Mae Simmons Park all summer for the city. He said that they
were never to go to that park. I asked why the ones fishing
were not ticketed, and was told that "they do not hurt anything".
Is that what the ordinance says, "...except those fishing"?
The kids were leaving, and had done nothing wrong.
There were no drugs, and was no drinking. They were all of
age 17 to 18 years old, and they do not belong to any gang.
I plead to the court to dismiss this ticket this time.
Shane has never been in trouble with the law, and is soon to
start attending Tech in the spring, and $75 would help buy books.
I doubt if he goes to the park again. Thank you for your time.
Thank You,
Karen Beesinger
-----
Date: 8:15 pm Wed Sep 6, 1995 Number : 11 of 51
From: Phlegm Base : Animal Crackers as a carcenoge
To : Rancid Diamondback Refer #: 10
Subj: Re: Learning Bob Replies: 1
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
RD> Popes on dope.
RD>
RD>
RD> Get kinky....with Pope on a Rope.
RD>
RD>
RD> Ski with Je$u$ : Popes on slopes.
Sexual Harassment at the vatican: The pope that gropes
[Animal Crackers as a carcenogen] [11/51] :
-----
"BUGS are GROSS but FUN!"
.-~~~-.
/ }
/ .-~
\ | }
___\.~~-.-~| .-~_
{ O | ` -~ ~-._
~--~/-|_\ .-~
/ | \~ - - ~
/ | \
-----
(6/18): hello
Name: Hehe, Something To Make Ya Hap #52
Date: Sat Sep 11 21:33:07 1993
RE: Validation Feedback (148 slots left)
what's up??
Nottin here, laterz
Junk {?} : I
(7/18): Hey
Name: Hehe, Something To Make Ya Hap #52
Date: Sat Sep 11 21:34:11 1993
RE: Tried Chatting.
this is BMJ. Nive baord eh?
I mean naive
Junk {?} : I
(8/18): fofofoofof
Name: Hehe, Something To Make Ya Hap #52
Date: Sat Sep 11 21:34:36 1993
RE: Tried Chatting.
hey---hooo--hey---hooo
hey ho
Junk {?} : I
(9/18): Number
Name: Hehe, Something To Make Ya Hap #52
Date: Sat Sep 11 21:35:25 1993
RE: Tried Chatting.
3.tres.
III
as in ]I[
As in not four, very good
Junk {?} : I
(10/18): five
Name: Hehe, Something To Make Ya Hap #52
Date: Sat Sep 11 21:35:35 1993
RE: Feedback.
r six???
Junk {?} : I
(11/18): oops
Name: Hehe, Something To Make Ya Hap #52
Date: Sat Sep 11 21:36:01 1993
RE: Feedback.
that was number 4, this is number 5..no wait 6, 5
yeah okay 5
Junk {?} : I
(12/18): sheesh
Name: User3 #53
Date: Sat Sep 11 22:08:52 1993
RE: Validation Feedback (147 slots left)
number 6!
and counting, I love this multi account stuff
Junk {?} : I
(13/18): I
Name: User3 #53
Date: Sat Sep 11 22:09:30 1993
RE: Tried Chatting.
bet you think this is lame!
But I'm have=ing so much FUN!!!
Junk {?} : I
(14/18): Need
Name: User3 #53
Date: Sat Sep 11 22:10:09 1993
RE: Feedback.
siome users??
well, by tonight you should have about 60 or so
Junk {?} : I
(15/18): Your
Name: User3 #53
Date: Sat Sep 11 22:10:41 1993
RE: Feedback.
cool, aren't you?
yep, I wish everyone wasd like you, then all the faggets would be happy!
Junk {?} : I
(16/18): I
Name: User3 #53
Date: Sat Sep 11 22:11:24 1993
RE: Feedback.
wish I was like you, Tall,dark,hansomw.
<SLAP> WAKE UP BMJ!!!
Junk {?} : I
(17/18): Sorry
Name: User3 #53
Date: Sat Sep 11 22:11:56 1993
RE: Feedback.
I was dreamin there for a sec
BIG MAN JOE
Junk {?} : I
(18/18): I'm
Name: User54 #54
Date: Sat Sep 11 22:17:30 1993
RE: Validation Feedback (146 slots left)
thrilled, I'm actually calling your BOARD!!
<again>
this is great, three users under my control.
I bet you think your the awesome guy, well, I'll tell ya someting, YOU SUX!
If you think I have no life then look in the mirror, all you do day after day
is sit on your stricky chair and typr on that sticky keybaord.!
Looks? nope
persanality? nope
kindness? nope
oh nevermind I see why your always home now
Junk {?} : I
-----
_wr"" "-q__
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a###"" ,Z"#####@" '######"\g ""M##m
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` 0######_ '
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"*w_________am#####P" ~9#####mw_________w*"
""9@#####@M"" ""P@#####@M""
-----
Date: 11:14 pm Wed Feb 2, 1994 Number : 50 of 54
From: Lady Kirby Base : RA - Real Access General Chat
To : All Refer #: None
Subj: Smashing Testicles Replies: 2
Stat: Normal Origin : Local
The reason(s) girls rack guys:
1. They don't realize how much it hurts.
2. They're bitter, mean, and vicious because the male has the physical
advantage, and they can't psychologically handle that, because they're
so used to being in control they can't handle it when they're suddenly
plucked from that position of authority.
3. It's a form of penis envy. They're pissed because they don't have those
neat toys, and they go by the maxim, if I can't have them, then you sure
won't!
Really girlies, racking a guy is a chicken-hearted, lily-livered, cowardly
thing to do that shouldn't ever be done unless you're in immediate physical
danger. Women think they know what this feels like, but they don't. Your
typical woman goes around bragging/bitching about the pain of birth and the
like, even though they've probably not even given birth yet. Even if they
have, they've only done it on the average of twice. Guys get racked a lot more
than two times in their lifetimes, I would venture to say. Just imagine this
girls. Imagine the pain of giving birth for the first time (we're talking a 36
hour labor here with multiple complications) mulitplied by two and
concentrated in an area of your body no bigger than a marble. Pain? You
betcha.
-----
Date: 3:00 pm Fri Apr 21, 1995 Number : 61 of 68
From: Genaerik Base : [ChiaNet] Technical Help Etc.
To : Badlands Refer #: None
Subj: Re: AOhelL Replies: None
Stat: Sent Origin : 19 Apr 95 18:22:10
*** Quoting Badlands to Captain Harlock dated 04-18-95 ***
> I have people all the time ask me.."Do you have the interent ON your
> computer?"
> All you can do is groan and just say, NO, and leave it at that.
Liar. The Internet is programmed into your BIOS. It's a highly-sophisticated
AI program developed by the NSA to keep track of you and allow montoring of your
communications. Screw Clipper, they've got the Internet in your machine, in your
mind. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it won't give up, it wants you dead, and
goddamn that noise inside your head.
--- T.A.G. 2.7c Standard
* Origin: Off World Colony 806.791.2806 (155:806/1)
-----
"The Period Table of the Elements"
1A 2A 3A 4A 5A 6A 7A 8A
----- -----
1 | H | |He |
|---+---- --------------------+---|
2 |Li |Be | | B | C | N | O | F |Ne |
|---+---| |---+---+---+---+---+---|
3 |Na |Mg |3B 4B 5B 6B 7B | 8B |1B 2B |Al |Si | P | S |Cl |Ar |
|---+---+---------------------------------------+---+---+---+---+---+---|
4 | K |Ca |Sc |Ti | V |Cr |Mn |Fe |Co |Ni |Cu |Zn |Ga |Ge |As |Se |Br |Kr |
|---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---|
5 |Rb |Sr | Y |Zr |Nb |Mo |Tc |Ru |Rh |Pd |Ag |Cd |In |Sn |Sb |Te | I |Xe |
|---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---|
6 |Cs |Ba |LAN|Hf |Ta | W |Re |Os |Ir |Pt |Au |Hg |Tl |Pb |Bi |Po |At |Rn |
|---+---+---+------------------------------------------------------------
7 |Fr |Ra |ACT|
-------------
-------------------------------------------------------------
Lanthanide |La |Ce |Pr |Nd |Pm |Sm |Eu |Gd |Tb |Dy |Ho |Er |Tm |Yb |Lu |
|---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---+---|
Actinide |Ac |Th |Pa | U |Np |Pu |Am |Cm |Bk |Cf |Es |Fm |Md |No |Lw |
-------------------------------------------------------------
-----
*****************************eLiTe GrOuPs AcRoNyMs v1.0***********************
By -=Dark Prince=-
Who has the time or effort to remember all these ridiculous acronyms that
people require you to know when you're applying for membership on an elite
board? I can understand the fact that we want to keep lamers out but most of
the groups using those acronyms are not that popular in Houston and most people
don't know them anyway yet they expect others to. Here is a list of over 66
most common acronyms asked on New User Application forms in the Houston 713
area. It was compiled over a period of 6 months and I believe I have covered
most of the groups. Enjoy and keep the information flowing!
******************************************************************************
Acronyms Name
---------------------------------------------------------
PWA Pirates With an Attitude
ACID Ansi Creators In Demand
UCS Undergroud Cracking Syndicate
HV High Voltage
PNX Phoenix
AFR Another Fondation Release
TRSI Tristar & Read Sector Inc.
BOS Blades Of Steel
RISC RiSE iN SUPERiOR COURiERiNG
TPC The Programmers Crew
FDN Foundation
IC Inner Circle
ALF A N T i - L A M E R S F O U N D A T i O N
DST DiSorTion
EXT EXtorTion
TSC The Spectrum Crew
DOM T稨稥 D稯稭稩種稟稵稯稲稴
KPN K00L PEOPLE'S NATION
LAME Lunatics And Maniacs Encorporated
OLR ON-LINE REVENGE
TPU __The People Upstairs1994__
RTS ---- Request to Send ----
TDT T H E D R E A M T E A M
PTG PenTaGram
DOD Drink Or Die
TVB -= T H e V a G B o Y S =-
DS Dream Syndicate
TOP Tired Of Protection
LSD Lethal Software Distributors
SMUT SYNDROME'S MEGA UTILITY TEAM
UTG United Traders of Germany
AVG Avengers
CCC Chaos Cyber Creators
CAE Chaotic Ansi Experience
PIL pirates in legion
THT The Humble Team
VSW Very Strange Warez
FDT Fucked Damn Traders
PST PARASITE
PHUN PHoney稶nderground種ation
INC International network of crackers
RZR Razor 1911
FLT Fairlight
CCi Cyber Crime International
MAD Malicious Artist Denomination
NTA NOKTURNAL TRADING ALLIANCE
ICE Insane Creators Enterprise
FTP File Transfer Protocol
PAW Pirates Analyze Warez
SiN Software Innovation Network
CiA Creators on Intense Art
NEXUS RAD NEXUS
VMB Voice Mail Box
PBX Private Branch eXchange
H Hacking
P Phreaking
C Carding
A Anarchy
V Virii
BoX PO-Box
Ma Bell SWBell
AT&T Phone Co.
MCI Phone Co.
CC# Credit Card #
-----
14/50: eh
Name: Kp Neato Dee #14
Date: Thu Mar 17 07:12:41 1994
FA>
FA> Met girl - Good.
FA> Found out girl was 14 - bad
wow. When i was like 18 or 19, i met this girl at a thrash metal show who
used to call me and it turned out she was >12< at the time. i figured she was
17 or something.
FA> haven't touched girl in 5 1/2 months - bad
eh, i ain't had a substantial conversation with a female in about that long.
that's ok. you've got a car you can start by radio control, like KITT from
Knight Rider.
Who needs the often-comforting, always-interesting love interests when you've
got a bitchin' car? Who needs the simple but immeasurable joy of eyes that
seem to smile...and don't look away... when you've got a COLOR TV? Who needs
that phone call at 1am saying, "I couldn't sleep, I was thinking about you and
wanted to talk" in a sleepy voice when you've got a KILLER STEREO SYSTEM AND
LOTS OF HIP MUSIC? oh oh HEAPS and HEAPS of HIP MUSIC, only the coolest TUNES
that only COOL people have HEARD of, to be SURE. My SENSES are so BLOATED and
DULLED with nothing but absolutely the COOLEST TUNEZ as authenticated and
APPROVED by GENERATION X, INC. that if i WERE to VOMIT, i would not NOTICE.
Who needs to know that you've somehow managed to convince somebody else in
this whole big world to give a damn about you and your kinda ridiculous
hopes&dreams, etc. WHEN YOU'VE GOT A BIG FUCKING ROCK?! YEAH, A BIG FUCKIN'
ROCK! THE BIGGEST! THE HARDEST! OOH! WHAT A ROCK! it just makes me wanna
shout up and down, UP and DOWN, what a BIG, HARD, ROCK this is! WOW! Oh
baby, baby, i'm gonna SMASH this BIG FUCKIN' ROCK and DAMN, it'll be
IMPRESSIVE! SO YOU JUST WATCH, NOW! WATCH and LEARN!
So i've got my ROCK and my TV and my STEREO and MAN, what the FUCK could
ANYONE possibly THINK OF NEXT?! i just can't WAIT! OOH!
KPNDuh
technology is wonderful
you'll die too
-----
. . ________________ . .
. ____/ ( ( ) ) \___
. /( ( ( ) _ )) ) )\ . .
(( ( )( ) ) ( ) ) .
. . ((/ ( _( ) ( _) ) ( () ) ) . .
( ( ( (_) (( ( ) .((_ ) . )_
) )
##### #### ### ### ###### ( _) #### # # ###### #####
# # # # # # # ) # # # # # # #
# ### ###### # # # ###### ) ( # # # # ###### ##### .
# # # # # # # # ( _ # # # # # # #
##### # # # # # ###### _ ) #### #### ###### # #
_ _ _ _ _ . . .
. . (_((__(_(__(( ( ( | ) ) ) )_))__))_)___) .
. ((__) \\||lll|l||/// \_)) .
. . / ( |(||(|)|||// \ . . . .
. . . ( /(/ ( ) ) )\ . .
. . . ( . ( ( ( | | ) ) )\ ) .
( /(| / ( )) ) ) )) ) . . . . . .
. . . . ( . ( ((((_(|)_))))) ) .
. . ( . ||\(|(|)|/|| . . ) . .
. . ( . |(||(||)|||| . ) . . . .
. . . ( //|/l|||)|\\ \ ) . . .
(/ / // /|//||||\\ \ \ \ _)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOU
fuckyou _ fuckyou
FUCKYOU / \ FUCKYOU
fuckyou |\_/| fuckyou
FUCKYOU |---| FUCKYOU
fuckyou | | fuckyou
FUCKYOU | | FUCKYOU
fuckyou _ |=-=| _ fuckyou
FUCKYOU _ / \| |/ \ FUCKYOU
fuckyou / \| | | ||\ fuckyou
FUCKYOU | | | | | \> FUCKYOU
fuckyou | | | | | \ fuckyou
FUCKYOU | - - - - |) ) FUCKYOU
fuckyou | / fuckyou
FUCKYOU \ / FUCKYOU
fuckyou \ / fuckyou
FUCKYOU \ / FUCKYOU
fuckyou \ / fuckyou
FUCKYOU | | FUCKYOU
fuckyou | | fuckyou
FUCKYOU | | FUCKYOU
fuckyou fuckyou
FUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOUfuckyouFUCKYOU
--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
COMING SOON: A SHORTER FOOTER FOR THE FILES!
--- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- --- -- - -- ---
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
--- The GwD High Council ---
Top Worshipper Type of Guy - Lobo Licious
Top Dog Type of Guy - Seth The Man
Top Organizer Type of Guy - Ratt Fink
Worshipper Type of Guy - Diamondback
Dog Type of Guy - TransDerm-Nitro
Advisor/Corsair - Yancey Slide
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
/-----------------------***** GwD Propagandists *****--------------------------\
| Lobo Licious - Seth The Man - The Lizard King - Yancey Slide - Sir Flea |
| Zippy - Aracnia - Zen - Trojan-Man - fastjack - Diamondback - Bill Hooper |
| Lasher - Mogel - Izzy - Bob the Master of the World - K2 - Carson - Rainne |
| Trailer Park Queen - The Mad Screamer - Priest - Snotty - Purpldrgn |
| Pezzy - Otis - Franken Gibe - Kilroy - Kp Neato Dee - Jaffo |
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------/
- Vehicular Manslaughter on the Information Super Highway -
*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*
for Car-Jacking: GwDweb - http://www.GREENY.org/
for Drive By Shootings: GwD Pubz - http://www.GREENY.org/pubz/
ftp://ftp.GREENY.org/gwd/
for Driving Under the Influence: C.H.A.O.S. - http://chaos.GREENY.org/
Da Den - http://www.snakeden.org/
for Hit and Run: GwD@GREENY.org (Fan/Hate Mail)
subscribe@GREENY.org (FREE CRAP)
submit@GREENY.org (Submit now!)
editor@GREENY.org (Letters to Editor/Pimp LL)
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%
(-) (-) Postal (-) (-)
GwD, Inc.
P.O. Box 16038
Lubbock, Texas 79490
(-) (-) latsoP (-) (-)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"GwD is like cum in my Happy Meal." - Snotty
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-+- F Y M -+-
<-+- A S M D -+->
GR33NY LIK3S mash3d p0tat03s
MORE THAN FIVE YEARS of STUPENDOUSLY LAMER THAN LAME CRAP!
actually, EIGHT years is more like it, g. /---------------\
copyright (c) MMI GwD Publications, except as noted. :BETTER THAN YOU:
textfile copyright (c) MMI GwD, Inc. All rights reserved. : GwD :
All ASCII art used is believed to be in the public domain. \---------------/
GwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwDGwD#0100