عععع ع  ع ععع  غكككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككككغ
ع  ع ع  ع ع  ع غ  Issue Number 11, Volume 1, Chapter 1, Epic 1         غ
عععع ع  ع ع  ع غ  Released on the date: Feb. 23, 1993.                 غ
ع    ع  ع ع  ع غ  PUD serving the modem public since Febuary 22, 1993! غ
ع    عععع ععع  غ  For help and actual info, look elsewhere.            غ
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غغ²²±±°°   °°±²±±°°      °±²±°°       °°±°    °°±²²±±°   °±°°  °°±±²غ²²غ
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غ±°                                                                  °°غ
غ°°    "Squeeze my lemon till the juice runs down my leg..."         ° غ
غ°                                               -Led Zepplin          غ
غ°                                                                     غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ ‏ Mail                                                               غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ      Fuck it. I am sick of including this section, besides there is  غ
غ   no mail yet. Woopidty.                                             غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ ‏ The Anatomy of a Krystal.                                          غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ      The krystal is by far the strangest life form on this planet.   غ
غ   Known to most people, the krystal, called sliders in the wild, are غ
غ   the most ferocious and vile mammals to roam the sewers of Beverly  غ
غ   Hills (90210). They are also quite common in the heights section   غ
غ   of melrose place and by 1996 they are expected to graduate into    غ
غ   the most dominant species in all of lower Florida.                 غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ   Cut-Away of a Krystal            Cut-Away of a Slider              غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ    bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN               bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN          غ
غ   bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb                  bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb              غ
غ   ooooooooooooooooo -ONION           mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL غ
غ   mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm -CANDY SHELL     MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS      غ
غ   MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM -BRAINS          oooooooooooooooooo -ONION       غ
غ   bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb                  bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb              غ
غ    bbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN               bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb -BUN          غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ      Note the extreme genetic differences in the two species. The    غ
غ   more docile Krystal has the chewy chocalety candy shell on top of  غ
غ   it's brains. Where as the much more aggresive Slider has the chewy غ
غ   chocalety shell on top of it's brains. Notice, by the extreme      غ
غ   detail of the cut-away's the differences in the sex organs in the  غ
غ   two species. See how much more enlarged the ovaries of the Slider  غ
غ   are than that of the Krystal. Legend has it that on the third      غ
غ   saturday of every month Sliders for some unknown reason take to    غ
غ   commiting mass genocide by rudely casting themselves at country    غ
غ   tour buses full of fat women. Note that this is strangly like that غ
غ   H0T nEw WaReZ in huntsvegas, Pc Lemmings.                          غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ ‏ How to steal a toaster.                                            غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ      By: The BRaVE LItTlE TOaStER                                    غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ      Theft of toasters can be a very worth while and profitable      غ
غ   occupation. But be forewarned toaster theft is extremely           غ
غ   dangerous, what with large of rash of mysterious taster thief      غ
غ   slayings. These slayings are rumored to be by a one fReD tHe       غ
غ   tOaStEr iS mInE SmItH. He is currently on the SPA top ten hit      غ
غ   list and is wanted for questioning in 62 states. Anyway I digress  غ
غ   let me get back to the TFiLE. To begin with you must make sure     غ
غ   have a valid and great plan. The planning stage is by far the most غ
غ   important part of the whole process.                               غ
غ      Part 1, the plan. Making you plan is the key to your toaster    غ
غ   thievary success. Make sure you have a place to steal a toaster    غ
غ   from. Next make sure you have a get-away vehicle, a 747 would be   غ
غ   suitable. Last make sure you have plent of weapons, machine guns   غ
غ   are not suitable for toaster thievary, but various anti-aircraft   غ
غ   weapons will be.                                                   غ
غ      Part 2, the Execution. Now here is where you kill all your      غ
غ   accomplises.                                                       غ
غ      Part 3, Stealing the Toaster. To steal the toaster simply walk  غ
غ   in, carefully concealing your anti-aircraft weaponry under your    غ
غ   arm. If anyone notices, kill them instantly, but quitely. The key  غ
غ   to stealing a good toaster is avoiding ones with flowerdy prints,  غ
غ   as they are usually cheap and just don't cook your toast right.    غ
غ   Hide the toaster in the crotch of your pants and walk out the      غ
غ   store.                                                             غ
غ      Part 4, The get away. The second you leave the store you must   غ
غ   quickly turn and destroy it, cover your tracks! Next take any      غ
غ   suitable vehicle in the parking lot and head for your plane. Be    غ
غ   sure to destroy all oncoming traffic as you near the airport, no   غ
غ   use in leaving any witnesses alive. When at the airport pick 3 or  غ
غ   4 attractive stewardesses and maim them seriously. Why? Just for   غ
غ   fun of it. Now board your plane and fly away. The end.             غ
غ      Look for more articles on toaster professions from me, soon.    غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ ‏ Closing.                                                           غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ      Did I mention, you still fucking suck.                          غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ ‏ Mail!                                                              غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ      Keep your sorry-attempts at mail coming!                        غ
غ      Baphomet the Limbo King    WWIVNET 2506@14                      غ
غ      NO COURiER                 WWIVNET 2506@36                      غ
غ                                                                      غ
غ°                                                                    °غ
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غ²±±°°    °±²±°°°         °±²±±°°            °°±°    °±²±±°     °°±²²غغغ
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غ End of PUD 1:11, "...and shake it all about..."                      غ
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