Archive-name: Bestial/burroluv.txt
Archive-author: 
Archive-title: Burro Love


I am posting this gospel of the Burro in hopes that we here at Ball State are
not the last of the great horse haters.  Our numbers are dwindling in the face
of modern religion and widespread horse breeding, but we will survive. Any
comments via e-mail are welcome.

The Story Of Pepe: In the Beginning

In the beginning, god created Burros, and the Burros were good.  They far
exceeded his hopes he had for his first try at creating life, humans.  The
burros were invited into Eden after the first man and woman were exiled. 
Again, his only request was that the burros not eat from the tree of knowledge. 
So it went, for many years the burros froliced amidst the wonders of Eden. The
most boisterous of the burros created was named Edward, son of Hubert, son of
Skippy of the house of Dewy(not to be confused with Wilendorf who was a little
taller than Dewy).  Anyway, Ed was in the orchard with his brother burro,
Phil. Ed said to Phil, "why don't we take a bite of the fruit of the tree of
knowledge, maybe the big guy is not so uptight about it anymore"  Phil said
unto Ed (being a true and good burro)"I don't think this is wise, god will be
pissed."  Ed, in an act of defiance, ate an apple from the tree, and suddenly
realized that he was not a burro at all, but a horse!  God appeared immediately
and said "Who took a bite now?"  Ed hollered at god (horses are so stupid) why
did you not tell me I was a Horse??  God knew immediately who the culprit was,
but he asked Phil to test his honor, and Phil told him the whole story.  God
said unto Ed, " from this point forward, all of your kind will walk on all
fours, and have no joy from licking burros.  You will beg for sugar cubes and
carrots, and APPLES from those stupid humans for the rest of your days. You
will be cursed among burrokind, they will shun you.  You will be forced to
help humans, they will ride your back and you will pull their garden
implements.  They will dress you in silly colors and ride you in circles and
make you count for them."  After that, god rested and kicked out all of the
horses and burros.  He kicked over the tree of knowledge and burnt the garden
to the ground muttering something about starting out smaller next time.  So this
began the eternal rift between the cursed horses and the saintly burros which
we so adore now.

Next post:  The coming and going of St.Pepe the Supreme BurroLicker

Courtesy:

The second but almost third Church of Pepe, Headquarters: San Juan Capistrano

Brad Howell, Professor of Useless Knowledge, Ball State University- Head Burro
Tender

Scott Moses, His High Burroness

Alexa Wallace, Chief Investigator, anti-equine affairs division.