BUS RIDE
                       --------

The  day was growing long and I had been awake now for  over
24  hours.  From  here it was only two more hours  before  I
would  be in Toronto but I knew I had to get at  least  some
sleep.  The  seats were very uncomfortable and I squirmed to
get settled.  What do you expect for five dollars and  fifty
cents?  Oh,  well. The bus ride was not the important thing.
As long as I get there,  I'll be quite happy. At that moment
I  felt an evil grin coming on and I drifted off into a deep
sleep.

"Steve. Is that you?", came a voice. Was I dreaming?

"It's me,  John.  Gee! At least say 'hi'. I don't expect you
to jump on me or anything. Just a simple 'hi' would do quite
nicely."

"Oh!  Hi.  Gee.  It's  nice to see you.  What are you  doing
here?", I asked, not quite sure of whether I was dreaming or
not.

"You don't remember? YOU invited me down for the weekend."

"Huh.  Yeah.  Is it that weekend already?  Boy oh  boy.  The
place  is a mess.  I'd better clean up a bit before you even
bother coming in."

"Forget  the  mess  cutie,  I'm not  here  to  inspect  your
apartment. May I come in?"

"Whah?  John? Sure, yeah. Come in, please." What did he just
say? I must be dreaming.

"It's been a long time Steve.  Yer still the same old  Steve
though - mind in the clouds!"

"I'm  just  tired John.  I've had a busy week - seemed  more
like a month. What brings you here?"

"Come on. You can't be serious. Yer kidding me, right?"

"I do remember inviting you down for the weekend ...  ",  he
cut me off.

"Yer  damn right you did,  and I didn't travel 500 miles  to
have the door shut in my face."

"No. NO. Of course not. Please. I'm just a bit tired. You'll
have to excuse my confusion. I'm really quite happy that you
decided to come."

"Well...ok.  That's the Steve I came to visit",  he said  in
rather maniacal tone.

John  hadn't changed one bit since high school.  Dark  brown
hair - still all there - and those gorgeous green eyes.  His
body  hadn't  lost it's shape,  a perfect chest with  a  few
wisps  of  hair that  I could see jutting out of the top  of
his open shirt and the roundest tastiest looking buns I have
ever seen.

"How  do  you keep so fit John?  I couldn't  help  but,  er,
notice." I smiled and inadvertently gulped,  something which
didn't go unnoticed.

"Steve.  Let's  cut  the small talk.  I didn't come here  to
small  talk either.  Well,  at least not  right  now.  Maybe
after...", he stopped and winked at me then glanced sideways
so  that I couldn't respond with an open mouth or a look  of
horror.

I  was always unsure about my sexuality.  John did something
to me though.  He made me feel whole and that was  something
which  I  had not felt since we parted 8 years ago.  It  was
something which I had always wanted to have again but it was
always out of my control.

"John. It really is great seeing you again. I'm really quite
happy that you decide to come."

"Yeah.  You said that already. Nervous?", his face lit and a
smile came to him.

"Me  nervous.  'Bout  what?" I was trying very hard  not  to
quiver  outwardly but I felt like jelly inside.  My  stomach
was turning over and over and I felt like a bad kid standing
before the principal.

"It's okay,  Steve.  Why don't I just put you to bed so  you
can get some sleep?"

"I  do need the sleep and I really think I should go to bed,
but I'll only go on one condition."

"Name it bud."

"You come with me." There.  I had said it.  It made me  feel
relieved  and  at the same time somewhat scared.  I'd  never
slept  with a man before.  And if ever I was  going  to,  it
would  have  to be John.  He was so perfect.  I  had  always
worshipped him at school and had always known he was queer.

The other kids used to tease him and I was guilty of joining
in a few times too.  I never wanted to, but all the kids did
it  and whenever I tried to defend John they would all  turn
on me and call me a fairy and a fag.  I just couldn't handle
it. But whenever we called John names, he would just look at
us  and stand there.  His face wouldn't change an  inch.  He
just stood there.

One  time  I  remember  being pushed to  the  front  of  the
crowd.  John  had  seen me and looked at me  intensely  with
those emerald eyes. His gaze caught  me by surprise. I tried
to  push my way back and hide 'cos I was always scared  that
the other kids would find out about me.  My efforts were all
in  vain.  I was always a runt and never strong enough to do
anything but lift my pencil.

Not being able to get out of sight, I decided to look up and
take  my  lumps.  I  may  not have been  strong  but  I  was
certainly  emotionally stable enough to know how to take  my
medicine.

John was still staring at me.  I didn't know what to do so I
just  stood  there,  looking  deeper  and  deeper  into  his
widening gaze. Any second I was sure that I would be face to
face  with his soul.  The kids,  all yelling,  pushed  ahead
suddenly and I fell forward onto my hands and knees. I guess
he  sort of knew that I didn't want the other kids to  know.
He  could have helped me up but he didn't.  Something I  was
very  glad  for at the time,  but it makes me sad  to  think
about it now.

It gets me so depressed to see people picked on.  One  never
really   understands  it  until  you  have  been  picked  on
yourself. It's a whole different story then.

The  covers tickled the bottom of my nose and I felt a  kiss
on the cheek.

"You dozed off mid-sentence Steve. You must really be tired.
Why don't I just let you sleep?"

"No. It's okay. I was just day-dreaming."

"Well it sure must have been a good one 'cos your eyes  were
glued shut and the noise coming out of your mouth certainly
wasn't opera", he chuckled.

"No.  Well. I was just remembering school. You remember that
time  when  all the kids were out yelling fag and  queer  at
you?"

"Hey!  If I had that good a memory...it really happened more
often than you may have been aware."

"Really?  Well,  the  one time I remembered was outside  the
boys entrance. You know, right near the bicycle racks. There
were  alot  of  guys all round you all  yelling  and  stuff.
Mickey  Ruttledge shoved me right at you but I  fell.  Don't
you remember staring...",  I stopped. My feelings about that
stare  had  become a personal treasure.  I was not about  to
give them away.

"I think I do remember Steve.  Yes. I did sort of notice you
being flung to the ground there. I was surprised to see  you
there altogether. I didn't think you were that kind of guy!"

"Well...to be really honest John.  I didn't think I was that
kind  of  a guy either.  Do you know what I mean?" I  didn't
have to say any more.  John knew what I meant and he  hugged
me  reassuringly.  "I  was  never  certain  John,  you  must
understand,  but  I haven't been happy with what I have been
doing and many questions keep coming back to haunt me."

"Like what? I wouldn't want you to be unhappy Steve. Please,
won't you share your thoughts with me?",  he said boldly.  I
sensed the  strength and sincerity of his words and began to
formulate my response.

"I  don't know if you  ever suspected me in school...I don't
know  how you could of though 'cos I didn't  suspect  myself
until  just recently...anyway,  I think that I...",  I  just
couldn't  continue.  The  shock  of  telling  someone  about
feelings I held so close, but this was John! No one knew how
or just what I felt.  I decided to continue,  after a little
more encouragement.

"I'm  pretty sure that I might be gay." There.  I'd said it.
It was out and there was no covering it up.

"It's okay Steve.  I can understand how you must feel.  It's
not  exactly a secret that I am.  People have  always  known
that. Even before I knew myself, they did. Always, at school
the  kids would shout at me and pick fights.  I never wanted
to fight, but if it came to that, I would have to. I learned
to take care of myself real quick!"

"John. Would you kiss me?" Again, I was sharing my treasured
emotions.

"I'd like to do more than that Steve.  You know I've  always
liked you", he said smiling. His eyes shone and I detected a
strong  scent on the air.  It felt good.  I felt  good.  The
whole idea was good. At long last, I might know myself.

At that moment,  I didn't feel tired at all.  It was like  a
thousand people had pushed me into this, all expecting me to
at  last free myself from the bonds of  society.  And,  with
each passing second, it became less and less a struggle as I
fell into John's arms.

Warmth  rushed over me and made me tingle.  I hadn't noticed
that John was completely naked nor had I noticed that I  was
too.  He  must  have undressed me!  As shocked as I  was  to
realize  it,   the  fact  only  made  me  feel  comfortable,
completely.

As  he came under the sheets,  I felt his body touching mine
as the water in the bed settled. A wave of John descended on
me and I was as rigid as a surfboard and just as eager to be
ridden.

He came close and hugged me tightly.  Oh...he was so strong.
I lost myself in his embrace.  My head rested gently on  his
chest  and I could hear his heart thumping,  echoing in that
enormous  cavern.  I felt a leg wrap itself around  my  back
like  a  serpent climbing a tree,  his lips met mine and  my
eyelids fell heavily shut.

The  visions filling my head were wonderful.  I was  waiting
anxiously  for  the next act and it was then that I  felt  a
hand  where no one had touched before.  I could feel  myself
rising like a bird taking flight.  The tension of not having
slept  was swept away and the hand that vanquished it  began
to move.

The bed rocked as we moved from side to side,  top to bottom
and end over end.  I wanted all of him. I never wanted it to
end.  His hand, working solo, was soon joined by another. It
caressed  my back.  Rubbing me into ecstasy.  And still  the
visions  danced in my head making me wonder what would  come
next.

His hand moved down my back and his lips left mine,  sliding
over  my  stubbled  chin and  onto  my  throat.  He  tickled
somewhat  but  the feeling was accompanied by so much  moist
warmth  that  it served only to elevate me  more.  He  began
nibbling,  making  me  a necklace all the way around  to  my
ears,  where  he  began to gorge himself on  my  unprotected
lobes.

That  faithful  hand was there to meet him and I  heard  him
lick  it  and then it was gone.  He continued to nibble  and
caress  me and  I lost myself in the passion of the  moment.
Then without warning,  I felt something warm and moist  rush
between  my  buttocks.  God  did  it  feel  good  - the  one
sensation which I had never had yet knew was there.

It  continued.  His  head slowly left my neck and I  felt  a
cloud of warmth pass over my chest. His breath was moist and
friendly.  Just  when I thought all pleasures were mine,  my
nipples grew erect at the onslaught of his tongue. He sucked
and sucked and sucked and licked and licked and sucked  some
more.  My head went back and the pillow swallowed me on both
sides.  It  was then that I felt a finger sliding in and out
of me and his mouth finally reached my erect cock.

First  his tongue followed the contours,  just  checking  to
make  sure  everything  was  in  preparation.   Droplets  of
moisture  forming from his heavy breathing made a home where
his tongue had explored and then one gasp preceded a rush of
heat.

He  went  down  on me hard and began sucking  away  all  the
inhibitions programmed by society.  It felt good. My nipples
were  still  hard  and not fully recovered from  their  last
visitation.  My  ears sung and the scent of his manhood  was
strong in the air.  I grasped hard at the sheets trying hard
to  hold  on  and to keep myself  on  the  ground,  but  the
pleasures  were  just  too much and they overwhelmed  me  at
last.

His  mouth left me but his finger was still woking hard  and
had found my prostate.  The first shots jetted into the  air
and another hand helped them to life.  I gasped for breathe,
my  eyelids  blinked uncontrollably and my head cocked  from
side  to side.  I spasmed again and more cum shot  into  the
air. It felt so good. So good.

The orgasm seemingly lasted for minutes more than seconds. I
can  remember every thought I had.  It was like I was  dying
and  my  whole life passed before my eyes.  I suppose  in  a
sense  I  did die at that moment,  but only to be born  anew
into the world I had so  angrily shunned  in my earlier high
school years.

John's  gaze  found me lying their naked and on my  back.  I
looked up at him and smiled.  He fell on me,  kissing me  on
the cheek, an arm circling my waist.

"Hey.  You're gonna miss your stop",  came a loud siren like
voice.

"What?  Huh?" I turned,  opening my eyes. The sun was bright
and  I  had to blink a couple of times before I could  focus
evenly.  The bus had come to a stop. I was in Toronto. I had
been dreaming.

Maybe it was an omen of something in my future. I'd wrestled
long  enough with the idea of being gay and I was  sick  and
tired of people telling what I could and couldn't do. It was
about time I made up my own mind.

One  quick  glance  at my watch reassured me as  to  exactly
where I was,  I grabbed my bags and walked the aisle to  the
door. The sign overhead read "Please watch your step" and as
I looked down to take a footing a figure filled the doorway.

"John.  Is that you?", I cried, somewhat  surprised  that he
had actually come down to the bus terminal to meet me.

"You  bet bud.  Would I miss the chance to pick you up?"  He
laughed. We both did. He draped an arm about my shoulder and
we walked off to his car.

"Sure  has been a long time Steve.  I'm really  quite  happy
that you decided to come."

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Written by:   RYDERS@WATDCS (Steve Ryder)
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