CLOWNING AROUND

	Sam looked glumly at her reflection.  A white faced clown with a
bright ball for a nose smiled back from underneath a shock of cherry red
hair.  Giving the wig a tug, Sam stuck out her tongue at the reflection. 
What right did it have to be so cheery when she was having such a bad day? 
Not only was she late for work, her car had broken down, forcing a three
mile trek down rain soaked streets to find a cab.  To top it all off she
had broken up with her boyfriend of over two years.  Things had not gone
well, and they still had several more weeks of work together. 
	Standing up, Sam sighed.  Being part of a circus was every child's
dream, her included.  Now that she was actually part of one it was just
another job.  As clown ringmaster she was able to ham it up with the
audience more than the other clowns as well as paticipate in many of the
skits, but that got old after a while.  The makeup was the last stage of a
complex dress ritual, so she was now ready to go.  Enought time was left
for one last glance in the mirror of her crowded dressing room. 
	Besides the aformentioned face over her own, she wore a bright
orange top jacket with tails.  Underneath this was a vest with a sequined
bow tie that constantly chaffed her neck.  Below were the white stretch
pants that tucked into the top of long black boots.  White gloves and a
shiny top hat mashed down firmly on top of the unruly wig completed the
ensemble.  Looking at herself Sam realized not for the first time that the
true reason she had the job was more due to her being able to fit into the
suit than her talents.  Being thin helped, and her quietly attractive
looks went well with the makeup. 
	Shrugging, she reached down and connected a hose to the clip valve
located at the edge of her boot.  When she first started this was one of
the bigger surprises.  The suit was almost one piece, boots included, the
topcoat being the only thing seperate.  In reality the outfit was a double
walled bladder that could fill up with air.  It was used later in the act
when Sam was supposed to try to vamp one of the male clowns.  She'd whip
out a little air pump and while she was puffing away with it in pantomime
they would give her air from back stage, making her figure expand
voluminously.  It never failed to bring gasps from the kids and a few
whistles from the older ones. 
	At first Sam had thought the suit hysterically funny.  Today it
was only a hot and heavy bother.  Giving a good tug to center out her
waist, she strode out to the show. 
	It was a busy night with a near capacity crowd in the small
auditorium.  With a single spotlight illuminating her and the center ring
Sam went into the timeworn and honored "Ladies and Gentlemen..."  The
blinding spot hid most of the audience from her, which was just as well,
considering the mood she was in. 
	It started during the first act.  Sam was standing off to the side
as the aerialists were running off.  The next intro was the jugglers,
which would give her a short break.  Before she stepped up to the
microphone a slight hiss became audible, along with a familiar tightening
of the suit around her calf where the valve was.  Glancing down she could
see the telltale swelling as the leg pocket started to puff up.  What the
hell was going on?  It was far too early in the act for this. 
	Unfortunately, Sam had lines to perform.  Hoping the stage hands
would catch the mistake, she started the next spiel.  No such luck.  Sam
could feel pressure slowly starting to increase in her torso, wrapping
around her back and under her arms.  Quickly sneaking a peek down, she
could see the front of her outfit starting to billow out just a bit, still
mostly contained by the stiffer fabric of the topcoat.  An angry glare
towards the wings revealed nothing, the spot still blinding her with its
brilliance. 
	The audience was beginning to notice the enlargement as Sam's
chest visibly started to creep outward.  Her hips and thighs were quick to
follow, more noticeable due to the tightness of the white pants than
anything else.  Sam was getting a bit nervous and kept glaring over to the
side pits, but gamely kept her spiel going. 
	The hissing was now much louder and was becoming audible to the
crowd.  Snickers and giggles greeted Sam's ears as the growth of the suit
became obvious.  She was now large enough that the swelling of her legs
was starting to push them apart and her sides were big enough to give a
gentle uplift to her arms.  In front her chest stuck out like twin volley
balls.  If not for the makeup and previous experience, Sam would be
blushing quite red.  A little child's voice was clearly heard over the
restrained snickering.  "Mommy, I want that balloon!" 
	Something was definetly wrong here.  Sam had never been this big
before.  The pressure inside the suit was bearing down on her evenly all
over, forcing her arms slowly upwards and away from her sides.  At the
same time her legs were being pushed into a straddle position.  Sam was
rapidly becoming a caricature of a woman, enormous chest over huge hips
and legs.  She stopped her speech and appealed directly to the wings over
the growing laughter. 
	"Hey, what's going on?!  This isn't part of the act..."  Sam's
voice trailed of as she saw what was by the air tanks.  There stood Mark,
her ex boyfriend, smiling evilly with his hand on the controls.  With a
thrill of horror she realized that instead of the usual markings of air,
these tanks were labeled "helium." 
	Starting to struggle, Sam knocked her tophat off as she attempted
to pull her vest open.  The orange coat was already too tight however,
buttons strained by the overinflation.  Sam looked over in mute
supplication at Mark.  In reply he twisted the valve several more
rotations. 
	In seconds the pressure had doubled and doubled again.  Sam
watched helplessly as she inflated out of control, unable to do anything
about it.  The audience hooted, waved and cheered while her figure swelled
into a bloated top, enormous chest and shoulders with sausage like arms
sticking out over giant hip and calves that stretched the boots out to
vast size.  Sam's demands for release were drowned out by the noise. 
	When the topcoat's front buttons gave with a bang the crowd grew
even more enthusiastic, getting into the swing of things.  The topcoat was
all that had kept Sam's waistline in check however, and that ballooned out
to match the rest of her in short order.  As the seconds passed she more
and more resembled a ball in appearance. 
	Crying with shock now, Sam suddenly realized a new element had
entered into the equation.  Gently, first one foot and then the other left
the floor, leaving her rotating inches above the ground.  "somebody help
me!"  she shrieked, but the roar of the crowd had redoubled at this latest
development.  Sam drifted upwards, wailing her frustration at those below. 
After a bit her head bumped lighly into the ceiling.  By this time the
pressure was at the point were it was difficult to breath and her ability
to move anything but her hands had gone long ago.  The traitorous spot had
followed her and now illuminated her round shape against the backdrop of
the stage lights by the rafters. 
	Still the inflation continued.  Sam's shoulders started to press 
up around her ears.  How much bigger would she get?  The pressure was 
becoming unbearable.
	It was the valve that finally decided.  Pushed past its 
endurance, it blew out with a reverberating boom.  With a whistling 
screech of escaping gas and a long drawn out yowl Sam transversed the 
length of the auditorium.  With near perfect precision she sailed out the 
door and came to rest amid the ruins of her ruined outfit.  Panting with 
anger, she listened to the applause of the crowd inside.
	"That was great!  Bloody marvelous!"  The manager was the first to
reah her, puffing from his long run arund the halls.  "The way you went
right out the doors, genius!" 
	Sam looked at him oddly.  He didn't actually believe she planned
this, did he? 
	"Once we get you a new suit, we'll do this every night.  Hell,
we'll get a chorus line.  Call it balloon bod babes or something. 
Marvelous idea!" 
	Sam stared after the manager as he bustled off.  Accepting a
helping hand up from out of the remains of her suit, she smiled wryly. 
This was all too weird to be angry about and besides, it was a good
example of the old adage "Cheer up, things can always be worse!"