CONFUCIUS JOKES Confucius Say: Fast girls make slow wives. Chinese voyeur - only Peking Tom. Woman who puts husband in dog house, soon finds him in cat house. Girl who goes to bachelor apartment for snack gets tit bit. Man robbed by naked woman have stick-up. Woman with great figure is "anatomic bomb". Chinese gynecologist say he "dilated" to meet you. Man who try to hump trees better leave it to beaver. He who masturbates is self-made man. Lonely man just have to take hold of himself. Italian position: man on top, woman in kitchen. Advise to girl who wish to stay virgin: if you can't join them, beat them. Man who like two-finger hand job get double-digit inflation. Man with hot tub have balling bowl. To be kept woman means rent always due. He who stand with hand in pockets feel foolish, he who has holes in pockets feel nuts. Man is young when he snatch kisses: old when he kisses snatch. He who likes anal intercourse, gets screwed in end. Girl who fly upside down have crack up. Girl who is wallflower at party, dandelion in bed. Woman who sows wild oats Saturday night, pray for crop failure next morning. Basketball player who often engage in sodomy take many foul shot. Clairvoyant contortionist is one who can see her own end. When in Rome ask for Florence. Man is like a snowstorm, you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. Gay masochist is sucker for punishment. Man who screw bank president's daughter come into large sum of money. Shampoo for man's pubic hair called "Head and Bolders" Beware, in some Chinese restaurants you may eat pussy without knowing it. Man who lays girl on ground, get "piece on earth". Man who plays with himself pulls boner. Never marry basketball player because he dribbles before he shoots. Gigolo gets into sack with bag in order to make bundle. Woman wish she could change husband of 50 for two 25's. Simultaneous orgasms are stroke of luck. A good lay is a humdinger, but good head is a dinghummer. Woman who use gold dildo have "ore gasm". Bad girls like a good licking. Man who like hand job eventually come into his own. Mrs. Confucius say, A dick in bush is worth two in hand. Woman who makes love on the beach must beware of crabs. Military man who come prematurely give dishonorable discharge. Starlet with deep throat most likely to "suck seed". Mrs. Confucius say, Never give head when tail will do. Golfer want hole-in one. Others prefer one-in-hole. Man with big bat have no trouble scoring. Tight girls are rarely loose. . . loose girls are rarely tight. Man who dance with tall woman often get bust in mouth.