Narrin 24, 0412

	I'd gone back to space.  No, I did not intend to find a new 
place and create another Pendor-- one is quite enough in this 
universe, thank you.  But I was in search of something to do, for 
once, and space, especially the "exploring the new Frontier" type, 
called me once more.

	Life on board the Eldarfaroth is both very much like and very 
much unlike a 'Star Trek' episode, I was learning.  If you don't 
remember that old video, that's okay.  Suffice it to say it had a lot 
of influence on the way I look at space travel.  Yeah, there is a 
bridge, and lounges, and cargo holds, and holodecks, and transporter 
rooms, and yes, there are androids on board, and non-humans.  But, 
the crew is a racial cross-section, Felinzi and Mephits and Jentecks 
and a Dolphin or two, a crew of over a thousand.  There is more than 
one lounge, though, even one strictly for gays.  And I like Captain 
MacNaughton, even if his booming voice is an awful affectation, and 
the Eldarfaroth isn't a bad ship.

	But starships have little use for biologists like me who have 
nothing to do when we're under Corrane drive, so on the side I teach 
physics to a bunch of the staff kids.

	Ever had a kid in class who already knew all this stuff?  And 
was waiting to get to the good parts, but who wouldn't rap about her 
thoughts?  Kathy's like that.  Human, sixteen, blonde hair and blue 
eyes, but, for some reason she wasn't terribly interesting.  Must 
have been her folks, they're real scientists.  In any event, she was 
a spoiled child in my classroom, rolling off theories that would have 
made a Corrane engineer blanch.  Not terribly social.  

	But one day she rattled off this... thing.  It was some sort of 
equation, but I had the ship AI repeat it to me after class.  If I 
was right, it was a major improvement over Corrane IV theory, which 
could redefine a whole line of starships!

	Which meant...  

	Next day, in class.  Two hour session.  Ended well.  People were 
leaving, going to the rest of their day.

	"Miss Hawkwind, could you please stay after class for a moment?"

	Snickers ran about some of the younger ones in the classroom, 
and that's allright.  She had been a bit bitchy.  But, when the class 
emptied I sat down and told her, "You're amazing, you know that, 
Kathy?  You come in here, and know everything already, and I don't 
need you in my classroom, especially when that equation you rattled 
off yesterday is better than anything we have in the line right now.  
Wait.  Yes, I can see that you've figured out what this means, to 
you, me, and Parma shipyards.  It could earn you a lot of respect.  
Therefore, using that equation as a starting point, you may pass my 
class entirely if you prove your equation.  You may use the Bonsai 
labs for this project, and you may take as long as two weeks.  I 
suggest you start by looking up the Bennetti equations, a series of 
incorrect-but-getting-there thoughts proposed on Earth before they 
even had spaceflight."

	She looked at me, after this tirade, and looked as if she was 
about to snap at me, but instead she merely said, "Yes, sir." and 
walked out.

	Little did I know that that word, 'sir,' was about to become the 
basis of a whole new relationship.

	  A week later, and I was cooking lambchops (or a synthesized 
version thereof), the aroma filling my domicile, when Wendy said, 
"Ahem."  That electronic throat-clearing was getting annoying.  She 
didn't have to do that.  "There's a young lady at your door, a Miss 
Katherine Hawkwind, to see you.  I believe she's in your physics 
class."

	Snapping a statis field around my meal so it wouldn't burn, I 
asked Wendy to tell her to come in.  She did so, and slapped a 
rammark onto the kitchen counter.  "There.  The whole thing, proven, 
with footnotes and bibliography.  Happy now?"

	"Almost."

	"Almost?  What else do you want?"

	"Working proof.  A working test model."

	"You're kidding, right?  I don't know that stuff, I'm not an 
engineer!"  Her chin was quivering.

	"Alright, then, don't bother.  But you get an ninety for my 
class, not a one hundred."

	She wasn't listening.  Odd.  She was staring at my bookshelf, 
which, believe it or not, is still full of old paper-pressed 
hardcovers.  I still like something I can carry around, or read on 
the beach.  Much to my surprise, so do a lot of folks.  Books are 
comfortable, and easy, and it's my experience that they'll be around 
for a long time yet.  Worse, even though any librarian AI will press 
you one in ten minutes, people still insist of borrowing them from 
others.  I guess there are some things you can't take out of an 
intelligent gene pool.  "Shardik?"

	"Kathy, call me Ken, please, something other than Shardik, huh? 
That's a name for offworlders."

	"Okay... Ken.  Uhm, can I borrow a book?" See what I mean?

	"I guess.  Sure, go ahead."

	"Thanks!"  She reached out to the shelf, grabbed one, and headed 
for the door.  "Oh, and I'll see what I can do about that project.  
Can I ask Andraveleskand'r for help?"

	She knows Andra?  I shrugged.  "Sure, as long as your work is on 
the testbed."

	She nodded, smiling, and headed for the door.  I snapped off the 
statis field and resumed cooking.  I glanced at my bookshelf, curious 
to see what she'd taken.  I was intrigued.  The book she'd taken was 
considered a classic of S/M literature.

	The Erotic Adventures of Sleeping Beauty, vol. 1, The Claiming 
of Sleeping Beauty.


	A few weeks later, there came another visit from Miss Hawkwind.  
I invited her in.  "Hi!  How goes your project?"

	She shrugged, her expression more nervous than studious, and I 
wondered.  "It's okay.  Testbed's a mess, though.  Ugliest pressings 
of circuitry I ever did."

	"I thought you weren't an engineer."

	"I'm not," that shrug again.  "I do know what I'm doing though 
in hyperfields.  But that's not what I wanted to ask you about."

	"Oh?"

	She sat down at the dining table, her back straight.  She paused 
for a minute, then began, "You know my parents, right?  I'm sixteen 
years old, y'know, but, well... Ken, I've slept with boys and I've 
even slept with girls, but, well, I read that book you loaned me, 
then I went and got the others, and..."

	She paused again.  "I've never felt what I did when I read those 
books.  I mean, never.  Regular sex doesn't do anything for me, 
it's..."

	"Empty?  Not what you were looking for?"

	"Yeah, and I thought, since you had them, I could ask you about 
it."

	I stopped for a long time.  I grabbed a glass of iced kfi, and 
some sugar, and sat down at the table.  "Kathy, I've had those books 
on my shelves for over five hundred years.  Yeah, Rice is a hot 
writer, and her ideas are great, but they're just fantasies.  I found 
them as exciting as you did... well, maybe not, but I know how you 
feel."

	"You mean, you don't do..."

	"I didn't say that."  A thought burned in my mind, like a 
candle.  Did I want to do this?  I thought about the question as we 
sat there silently, her eyes saddened by what she must have thought 
was my rejection.  The more the thought rolled around my mind, the 
clearer the answer became.  She did.

	So did I.

	"Have you ever done anything like..."

	"Like that?  Yeah..." I smiled, wistful, I think, " a while ago, 
but not from the top."

	"You're a bottom?" she said, not quite believing that I'd said 
that.

	"Well, yeah, when the mood strikes me to go out, like to Rhysh 
or something, yeah, I tend to be bottom."

	"Oh."  She said it like that meant that it was all over.

	"Kathy, the best masters and mistresses are those that were once 
slaves themselves.  Ask Lynn."

	"Lynn?"

	"Ever hear of a place called Rhysh?"

	"No... oh, wait, isn't that the Valley of Rhysh?  I was told by 
my AI that I'd learn about that place when I was older." Which meant 
that when you were younger, someone instructed your friendly 
neighborhood AI to not tell you about things like that, probably 
under its own discretion.  That's okay, parents should dictate what 
kids can and can't get into.

	"Yeah, well, Lynn is The Castle's AI."

	"Oh, and I take it..."

	"Yeah, the Valley is a smorgasbord of stuff like that in the 
Beauty books.  Anyway, I used to live there."

	"And what did you do there?" she asked, suddenly intensely 
curious.

	"Well, let's see.  My favorite game they had there is called the 
Hex Pit.  Uhm, it's an all-male game, for when I had a male trainer.  
It's a great game.  Some of the people call it a rape-game, but 
that's really unfair to the men who play.  Rape is an ugly thing; 
it's one of the reasons I encourage gun use on Pendor, after all we 
are far from perfect.  But this, this is different.  

	"Hex is... well, my trainer, Borodir, took me into this room, 
and there were about fifty people there, and in the center is this 
hex, about four meters across, lined with ropes.  He explained the 
rules to me, which are very simple.  I get put into the Hex with 
another contestant, and the first one to fuck the other wins.  So he 
takes off my collar... yeah, he led me in on a collar, and put me on 
the pedestal leading to the Hex.  I stood there, and you gotta 
believe I was nervous.  So he took out this bottle of oil, and he 
began to rub it all over my back, and my stomach, and my neck, and 
into my hair, and then down back over my legs, and then his hands 
were all over my ass, really greasing me up.  His palm slipped in 
between my cheeks, and his finger was starting to slip its way into 
me, greasing me up.  Finally, he took his hand and began to stroke my 
cock, getting me hard.

	"So there I was, this hand on my cock, fifty people staring at 
me, and they lead the other guy in, and start doing the same thing to 
him. This guy was a Mephit, and you know how they are, all wiry and 
thin?  Not this guy, he was fuckin' huge, the black ploughman of 
Mephits, with a cock that was well on its way to being as big as a 
drink can, and I swear he had this dark, mysterious expression.  And 
he grins at me.  They start oiling him up, getting it into his fur, 
and his trainer is stroking him like Borodir is me, and my legs are 
tremblin' because I was so horny, and I knew I was going to get this 
guy.  So all of a sudden, Borodir's hand is gone, and I hear some guy 
yell 'GO!'

	"And four meters is not very far.  This guy and I were on each 
other instantly, trying to wrestle the other to the mat, which is 
just as oily as we are, and this guy has muscles.  He's gorgeous, and 
rules say I can't grab his cock or punch him, just wrestle, and he 
throws me aside.  I rolled, and he came at me again, trying to turn 
me over, but I slipped out and slid away.  He threw himself across 
the Hex at me, but I kicked off a wall and slid out of the way again, 
but too hard.  He went sprawling across the mat where I'd been, but I 
slid into another wall and hit my head, dazed.  I looked up, and he 
was lying facing away from me, his ass in the air, his tail 
twitching.  No time to think about it, I jumped on him, my erection 
humping between his legs, my hands on his biceps, holding him down.  
He was snarling and hissing, and I kept trying.  I didn't have a free 
hand to aim, and his damned tail was in the way, but I kept on, and I 
felt something press against my cockhead, and I pushed, and it gave 
way, I was in!  He yowled, and I felt his ass clench and try to push 
me out, but I was in heaven...I heard someone yell 'ONE!' as I went 
in and I began to fuck him, right there, anger and force, pounding, 
and the crowd was chanting, counting each stroke... 'FIVE'... 
'SIX'... he was seriously writhing, trying to get loose, and I went 
on, relishing this... this... power... 'NINE'... and I went on 
fucking him, one hard stroke after another, and when the crowd 
reached 'TWELVE!' I jammed my cock into his ass, and I came, shooting 
into that heat.

	"I must have rolled off of him, but I don't remember doing it.  
But I do recall his rolling over and jumping to his feet, glaring at 
me.  Then he grinned, a good sport, and helped me up.  He laughed, 
and I did too.  It was so funny, it really was.  We were told to go 
clean up, and I did bring him off in the baths, helping him clean off 
all that oil out of his pelt.  His name was Aaden; we still keep in 
touch, he's a great guy.  We had a few drinks afterwards.  And when 
it's not oily, he does have a very sexy tail, all white with black 
trim, really bushy, and it almost reaches his head when it stands on 
end.  And I still say he has the sexiest dark eyes I've seen on a 
Mephit.

	"But it's not really rape.  We both knew exactly what we were 
getting into when we went in there, Borodir knew I'd like that kind 
of game.  Actually, I've lost that game more often than I've won, and 
it's still just as fun.  It's very masculine, really, the predator 
type games that women just don't get into for the most part.  The 
using."

	She stared at me, looking aroused.  "You... you did things like 
that?"

	"Sure, why not?"  I'd decided.  "Kathy, " I said, grabbing a pad 
of paper and a pen, "can you remember this word?" I wrote it down, 
and made her pronounce it, several times, until she had it perfect 
and memorized.  "Good.  Let's talk.  There's a lot in the Beauty 
books, and you're going to have to sit here and tell me what in those 
books made you... hot."

	"Okay, well... I liked the scene in the castle, y'know, when the 
queen first punishes Beauty.  And I liked the scene in the dungeon.  
The kitchen I didn't like, and I didn't like the scenes in public, 
like the bridle path.  Uhm, I don't want to be a pony," (I smiled at 
that- as I recall, Mrs. Rice didn't put women in bridle-and-bit, and 
for that matter, neither does Lynn), "but a tent princess sounds like 
fun.  I liked the scenes at the sultan's, where the slaves are 
isolated and restrained, y'know, the scene with all the 
decorations..." She went on for a good long while, her voice growing 
steadier all  the time.  As I listened, I took notes.  

	"Okay, Kathy," I said, "let's play this one scene at a time.	I think I've got a handle on this.  Tonight, at 11:00 i.d., you will meet me here.  Got that?"

	"You mean, you're going to... tonight?"  She looked and sounded 
bewildered.

	"Yeah, tonight, you and me alone.  Ready?"

	"Uhm..."  She was thinking fast, like I intended.  If she really 
wanted what she was asking for, this was the time to find out.  "I'll 
be there.  Count on it."

	"Good.  Remember the first rule, though.  When you get there, 
you're mine, got that?  No questions until after, when I release you 
from the game.  The moment you step into my room, you're my thrall.  
Clear?"

	She nodded.  I said, "Except... that word I gave you.  Can you 
remember it?  It's on that slip I gave you.  If you ever use that 
word, everything's off.  It's your safety valve.  If a scene is going 
places you don't want it to, if you're too hurt or frightened, that's 
your way out.  Okay?"

	She nodded, then stood up, leaned across the table, and kissed 
me.  "Thank you," she whispered, and she left to get ready.

	Alone again, I sat back, and pondered.  What in Hell have I 
gotten myself into?

	Not that it mattered.  I'd made a promise, and I was going to do 
my Boy Scout's best to keep it.  Not that I was ever a Boy Scout.

	And I sat back, and wondered.


	The room was small, and shapeless.  That is to say that it did 
not yet have a definite shape, but it would definitely work, using 
every high-tech trick in the book to make this my total environment, 
hyperlography for the visual, nanotech for the physical, biocybe for 
the control, even a sDisk in case more sheer mass was needed.  
Garrett hardware made it convincing.  

	I paused, and the room slowly took shape.  A bedroom was what I 
wanted, not a dungeon, not yet.  Although at the merest thought it 
could  be a dungeon.  Any sort of room.

	I sat down at a chair of my desire, and waited.  I glanced at my 
watch, an object as physical and yet as unreal as the chair and the 
table.  Nanotech arranged in another form, the watch was a frakir, a 
defense weapon.  I bid it depart, and watched, fascinated as it 
dissolved, entering my skin through the pores and between the 
molecules.  I had long ago gotten used to the thought of those tiny 
machines crawling around inside me.  They kept me young, strong.  
They countered poison, healed me, allowed me to change if I wanted 
to.  And besides, they were simply improvements over my own organic 
hardware.  And if you think that's impossible, remember, nature only 
works in one field, DNA, and we've got the strength of mind to make 
whatever we feel.
	10:35 i.d.  I waited for Kathy to show.  "Ken?" said a soft, 
feminine voice with just a hint of Felinzi growl.

	"Yes, Wendy?" I asked the ship's AI.

	"Miss Hawkwind is making her way to this sector.  Here's a 
tactical," and a small display on the far wall of the room showed me 
her path.

	"Fine, thanks."  I waited, and watched.  She was right on time.  
The doorbell rang.

	"You're late!" I said, through the intercom.  "For that, I want 
you to strip right where you are, and leave your clothes right there 
on the floor.  Don't attempt to cover yourself, or hide.  When you've 
taken off all your clothes, get down on your knees, and kneel."

	I watched, feeling a little sorry for her as she took off her 
clothes, nervously watching down both ends of the curving hallway.  I 
watched the display.  Nobody was coming, and even if someone were, 
Wendy would make sure that she wasn't seen.  Illusion gear's not just 
in the apartment.

	I waited, enjoying her discomfort, then I touched the doorslide, 
and the door opened.  "In."

	She started to rise.  "On your knees. Crawl.  Chin up, eyes to 
the floor.  Good girl."  I looked at her.  She was young, soft, ripe.  
Her blond tresses covered her breasts.  She was lovely, and I felt 
not at all bad that I was about to mark that flawless skin with 
welts.

	She crawled in, and I closed the door.  "Katherine, you 
understand what's going to happen to you, here.  I hope you do.  
Good.  Remember this, I will punish you if you fail to obey me.  
Understand?"

	Her voice was a tiny whisper.  "Yes."

	"What?"

	Louder, "Yes."

	"Yes, what?"

	"Yes, sir."

	"Good.  Do you see that chair?  I want you to go and kneel in 
front   of it, your head on the leather."  She followed my 
instructions, crawling over on her knees to the chair.  I stood 
behind her, and looked   at her shapely ass stuck high in the air.  I 
reached between her legs and pinched the lips of her sex, and a small 
squeal escaped her.  I pinched her again, a little harder, and again.  
She was groaning, writhing against leather.  I slapped her behind.  
"Stop that."

	I smiled.  "Slave, you told me you were not a virgin.  Is this 
true?"

	"Yes, sir."

	"Well, then, slave, we'll have to  come  up with something new."  
I slowly undid my pants.  I left on the shirt I'd chosen, a white 
linen shirt straight out of any bad pirates movie.  My erection 
sported from my body, hard and straight.  I got behind her, and slid 
my cock into her.  She sighed, with pleasure, and I brought my palm 
sharply down against her buttocks, and she pealed with surprise and 
pain.  I smiled, and reached for the open brass jar next to the 
chair.  With hardly one stroke, I pulled out of her, and slowly 
slathered my cock with the lubricant.  "Slave, have you ever had a 
cock in your ass?"

	"Sir... No, sir," her voice filled with panic.  

	"Well, then, it's nice that you have something to sacrifice to 
your lord, isn't it?"  

	I completely expected to hear her say it, but she laid her head 
back down on the chair, and said, "Yes, sir."

	I smiled, and positioned the head of my penis against her tight 
nether hole, and pushed, very gently.   Slowly, the head pushed, and 
I watched, fascinated, as her asshole began to expand under the 
insistent pressure.  She groaned, in pain or pleasure I couldn't 
guess, and half the length of my cock vanished  inside  her.  I 
pushed a little harder, and then, her newly opened anus sheathing my 
cock so very tightly, I sank into her, my hips pressing against her 
warm buttocks.  I sighed, the pleasure obscene.  I reached down for 
the other little device I'd brought, a 'butterfly,' a wonder of 
miniaturized grav devices, flex surfaces, and biocybe.  I reached 
under her body and pressed it against her cunt.  She groaned.  The 
biocybe told the butterfly what worked, and the grav/flex surfaces 
abused her clitoris. It was a very effective masturbator, and now I 
was using it on her.  

	Slowly I began to fuck her, and her body spasmed wildly, 
uncontrollably, and I began to feel my orgasm.

	Faster and faster, ravishing her virgin anus, taking her for the 
first time, and her body was wracked with the pleasure and the force. 
My balls tightened and in one big, final thrust, I came, spewing into 
her bowels, filling her with my seed.  She screamed in time with 
me...

	And she passed out, which meant the little red triangle that was 
the butterfly deactivated automatically.  The only thought running 
through my mind was 'I will not pass out, I will not pass out' over 
and over, as my cock slowly lost what erection it had left, and 
slithered out of her asshole.  I picked up the butterfly-- it had 
fallen to the floor-- and I put it down on the table.  "Wendy," I 
said, panting terribly, "I need a bath drawn, and the gravity lowered 
to twenty-five percent."  She dropped the gravity a little fast, and 
my head reeled under the literal light-headedness.  I recovered, and 
I picked up Kathy. I walked over to the bath I shared with my 
neighbor, T'Cade, and I stepped in, grateful that the low grav let me 
handle her easily.  It was warm, wonderful.  I held her, her head 
nestled against my chest, and waited.

	After about ten minutes, I heard her stir.  "Hey, Princess..."

	She looked up.  "Hi," she whispered, a little weakly.

	"Hi yourself.  Feel okay, Kathy?"

	"Huh?  Oh... Ken..." she reached up and put her arms around my 
neck, and kissed me hard.  "Thank you, thank you, I love you," and 
she held me to her like she never would let me go.  "That was so... 
so... perfect, oh Gods, please, tell me we'll do that again..."

	"We will.  I'm so proud of my little princess," I said, slowly 
picking up a washsponge and washing her back.

	"Thank you," she whispered again.



	I won't go into great detail about the rest of our shipboard 
romance, other than to say it was a subject of great rumor on the 
crew's part and great discretion on Wendy's part.  It wasn't always 
as abusive as it was above.  She passed my class, and we began to 
work together on projects as friends, lovers, coworkers.  I taught 
her Ameslan, and we worked out a complex series of hand signals to 
say, privately, when we were 'in the game,' as we came to call it.   
There are two stories,though, that I feel should be told, and they 
are included next in this string of Journal Entries, even though they 
are chronologically out of sequence with the SAP project Journal 
Entries.
								Ken Shardik, 133/0914

--
"Katherine Hawkwind"
The Journal Entries of Kennet R'yal Shardik, et. al. 
are copyright (c) 1989-1994 Elf Mathieu Sternberg.  Distribute freely 
via electronic media.  This copyright permits individual users to 
make single hardcopies for their own use.  The Journal Entries may 
not be sold or otherwise distributed for profit.