6 - Come on Everybody, Let's Dance I knew I wasn't the only man in the world having sex with his daughter. Although I'd never come across any data on the subject, you heard enough stories to conclude that it wasn't all that unusual. Still, it shocked me to learn that someone right there in our neighborhood was doing it, too. What really got to me though, was that Mindy had broken an important rule, perhaps the most important rule I'd ever laid down for her. What to do about it? For sure I couldn't punish her. How would I ever justify such a thing to Sue? What was done was done. All I could do now was find out how far the information had spread and then wait for the storm to break. Once Sue found out, I'd be in big trouble. "You're sure about this? She actually told you that her father was doing it to her?" "Yes." "And you told her about us, didn't you?" Mindy turned her eyes down, not wanting to look at me. "Yes." "God damn it!" There was absolutely nothing I could do and that, more than anything else, was fueling my anger. "Why in hell did you tell her? Do you realize we could be in a lot of trouble? Do you want to see me in jail?" She was scared stiff and started to cry. It nearly killed me. We’d just had intercourse. Her jeans and panties were still down around her knees, my semen was drying on her and she was bawling like a baby. My anger melted away and I just held her in my arms. Eventually, she cried herself out and we just lay there, together, not saying anything. Finally. "We better get things straightened up. Mom and the kids will be home soon . . . Come on, babe. Don't cry anymore. It'll be all right. I'm sorry I shouted at you . . . Please forgive me." "OK." Mindy ducked into the bathroom to clean herself up and I straightened up the bed. Fine. No one would suspect what had just gone on in here. Maybe I would get caught but I wasn't going to leave any evidence around to help them convict me. I was in a hurry as I waited in the hall for Mindy to come out of the bathroom. "Let's go downstairs. I want to know exactly what you told Vanessa, but I don't want Mom to see us up here." Mindy followed me down to the family room where I turned on the TV. We weren't going to watch it, but it made a good excuse for us to be together in the room. I was concerned about appearances. On several occasions Sue had walked in when Mindy and I were together and my wife had given us a funny look. We hadn't been doing anything but it must have looked odd to Sue. She remarked that Mindy and I seemed to be spending a lot of time together and wasn't it nice that the girl and I got along so well. Unless Mindy had told her, Sue didn't know what we were up to, but I believed her suspicions had been aroused. "Now. Tell me. How many people have you talked to about us?" "Nobody but Vanessa . . . and I don't think she's told anyone else." "How can you be sure? This is supposed to be our secret. Not even Mom is supposed to know." "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't think . . . She caught me off guard and I was confused." "OK. Tell me what happened." "Well, remember that weekend it snowed, and I spent the night at her house?" That was good news, of a sort. Mindy had let the cat out of the bag months ago and there hadn't been any repercussions. Maybe it would be all right, after all. The memory clicked into place. I recalled the weekend and the snow bunny who came around to get Mindy. Of course, it was Vanessa, but on that cold, blustery day I had no idea what she was hiding under her clothes. She seemed like just another kid in the neighborhood and I didn't pay much attention to her. Besides, it was right after Christmas, and quite early in my affair with Mindy. At the time I only had eyes for her. Any other girl would have had to be naked before I'd noticed her. Then, the rest of the picture began to fill in for me. Mindy and this girl were close friends. I hadn't realized it until now. I began to recall other times when Vanessa had been around the house. She just seemed like another cute kid and I didn't pay any particular attention to her. What a dummy I'd been. If Mindy wasn't talking to Vanessa she'd be talking about her. Mindy associated with lots of girls, of course, but it was more Vanessa than anyone else. Mindy must have mentioned the name Vanessa dozens of times in conversations and I had simply tuned her out. It was Mindy's other life stuff, her little girl stuff that until now, I wasn't concerned about. I guess I was just so wrapped up in my own affairs that I was oblivious to what Mindy was doing with herself. An error that wouldn't be repeated. "Yeah. Wasn't that something?" It had been a record breaking snowfall and people were still talking about it. "Right. Well, Van and I were up in her room. It seemed like it was going to snow forever, and we got under the covers to stay warm. Like, we were talking about boys and stuff, you know?" I could imagine. "I know. Go on." "So. We were talking about boys and, uh . . . like, about doing it." The little girl in her had taken over. She looked at me to see how I would react to this piece of news. In another time and another place I might be upset at such a disclosure but this was here and now. I said nothing and just waited for Mindy to go on. She gave me a funny look. "Yeah. Right . . . Well I was being really careful, because, like I didn't want her to catch on that I knew too much. Like, she'd want to know how I knew all that stuff." I was flabbergasted. It had never occurred to me that, because of what we were doing, Mindy had an advantage over her girlfriends. It was likely that none of her young friends had the first hand knowledge of sex that Mindy had. She realized it, though, and had taken pains not to appear too knowing in front of them. My admiration for my daughter soared. Talking to Mindy could sometimes be maddening, though. Like her mother, she had a way of not getting right to the point. "So, tell me what happened." "Well, it was hard, like I said, not letting on what I really knew, especially with Van. She and I don't have many secrets from each other. She's my best friend. Like she tells me everything that happens to her and I tell her everything that happens to me. If a boy kisses her it's like I'm there with her when it happens." Another scary thought. Did Mindy have a boyfriend? Was some kid from up the street sharing my sugar? "So, then we started playing this game. It's silly but we do it a lot. We take turns mentioning a boy's name and the other person has to say if she likes him or not. We would say `cute', `real cute' or `no cute'. We were working through all the boys we knew from school and around the neighborhood. Sometimes I'd mention the name of a really nice boy and Van would make this deep growl sound in her throat and roll her hips around, like this." Mindy gave a quick demonstration. "You know what this means, don't you?" "Perfectly." It was a provocative gesture and there was no doubt about the meaning. It was fascinating to learn what young girls did when they thought no adults were around. "Well, I knew what it meant, too. Van never did that before but it didn't surprise me when she did. Right from the first time I met her she seemed a little crazy. Know what I mean? And then . . . after a while it got funny and I started to giggle. Pretty soon she was doing it no matter what boy's name I said, you know, just to make me laugh, and then we were both laughing. We had just about run out of boys we knew when all of a sudden Van said, `Your father.' That caught me by surprise. I got scared because I thought that somehow she'd figured out what you and I were doing." "And that's how you got onto the subject?" "Uh, yeah, except there's a little more to it . . . If I tell you, will you promise not to get mad at me?" She had me. "Go ahead. It can't be any worse than what I've already heard." Mindy flashed me a `wanna bet?' smile and I knew I was about to be taken for a ride. I wondered where Sue and the girls were. They should have been home by now. "Well, I figured that she's just being silly. Only when I didn't laugh, Van got this real serious look and she said, `What's wrong? I can't mention your father?' I guess I must have looked like my teeth were about to drop out, or something. Anyway, that's when she told me." "What exactly did she say? How did she put it?" "She said that you were `real cute', you know, our little game . . . and that you could do it to her anytime you wanted." Can you spell SHOCK? "She actually said that?" "Yep . . . " "Jesus Christ!" I seldom swore in front of Mindy but she had blown me away with her story. "There's more. I have to tell you everything, now." "Go on, but be quick. Your mom will be here, soon" "Right. Then she told me that her dad thought I was cute and that he wanted to do it to me!" "Whoa!" I didn't like the sound of that, at all. "Has he ever touched you, any way at all?" "No dad. He hasn't. Whenever I go over there, he's very nice to me but nothing has ever happened between us. After Van told me, it was kind of weird. I was embarrassed to be around him, knowing that he wanted to do it to me. I was even a little scared . . . It's OK now, though. Like I said, nothing has happened and I'm used to it. I don't much think about it anymore. He's really very nice." I absolutely had never heard such a story before in my life. Maybe you haven't either but I assure you it's true. This stuff really happened. If the house had caught fire, I wouldn't have let Mindy break off her strange tale. I had to know everything, now. "So, what happened then? What else did she say?" "Well, I can't remember the exact words. See, I was nervous talking about it because of us. I was afraid I'd say the wrong thing and Van would figure out that we were doing it. Anyway, up to this point she'd only said that she liked you and that her father was interested in me. That's all. So then I asked her if she'd ever actually done it with someone, and she said `Yes'. So naturally, I had to know, and I asked her who with. That's when she told me it was her father." I felt like my teeth were going to drop out. What a story! "So then, you told her about us?" "Well, not right away. Van put her face right up to mine and told me that I was never to reveal what I was hearing from her. She told me some more stuff, and then made me promise to keep it a secret. So far you're the only one I've ever told . . . " She paused to catch her breath and went on. "Anyway, that's when I told her! See, she told me all this stuff about her and her dad, and then she asked me if I'd ever done it. Well, I didn't know what to say and she was looking at me kind of funny, like she already knew about us but she was just waiting for me to say it. That's when it came out. I didn't want to tell her but I couldn't help myself." "Do you think she's told anyone else about this?" "I really don't think so, Dad. I don't think you have to worry about Van." "Well, I am worried . . . and what other stuff did she tell you?" Now came another bombshell. "Uh, do you really want to know?" After a response like that, what else could I do? Staring at Mindy, I waited. After what I'd just heard, nothing could be more shocking. "Van told me that she's also done it with some other dads." "You mean boys, don't you? She's done it with other boys?" "No, dad. Van's done it with other dads." Was that an atomic bomb I just heard go off? "She's done it with some other men, men that her father knows." This was getting stranger and stranger. I absolutely could not believe what I was hearing. "You're not getting away, now, until I know everything. I want the whole story." "Well, there isn't much more. I've told you just about everything I know. Van said she really wasn't supposed to talk about it, and she didn't give me much information, anyway. She told me that her and her father sometimes go to this place, and there are other girls there with their fathers, and . . . well, . . . they all kind of, do it . . . I guess. She's been there a couple of times since last winter. It's always on a weekend and they usually stay overnight. When they go away she tells me that it's one of those special times but that's about it. Sometimes I don't even know she's going. I'll call her and she won't be home, and then she'll tell me later that she was away for a special weekend with her dad.