Night Thoughts By Ruth Moore (c) 1995 Oh for God's sake, this will never do. I'm just too restless tonight and I can't get to sleep. Like every other doctor in the history of medicine, I'm a lousy patient. If Will or Geordi came to me and said that they couldn't sleep, I would be quick enough to recommend a mild sedative or hot milk, or even chamomile tea. But it's me and I won't take my own advice, and so here I am, tossing and turning. Part of my problem is cyclical; it's *that* time of the month, "baby week" Nana used to call it. There's an egg sitting up there that wants to be fertilized. Well too bad, egg; not this month or any other for that matter. God knows I love my son, but once was enough, thank you very much. Of course, I could always mess with my chemistry. I do it often enough for others. Selar could do the tests and we could tailor my implant to deal with my hormones as well as keeping me from getting pregnant. It's just (usually) not bad enough to bother. Nana always said to let Nature take Her course whenever possible. Hah! Easy for her to say, she had Ronan. Oh, that was a mistake, thinking of Ronan in my present state. It's been like this all day; I can't keep my mind of sex. Most months aren't this bad, normally I have better control, but not this time. First there was Worf. Worf for heaven's sake! It was so stupid thinking about his big broad chest (and my, what a nice chest it is) in the middle of a sparring match. No wonder he threw me halfway across the gym. Was I embarrassed by my lack of attention? Was I annoyed by the knowledge of the inevitable bruises? No, I was turned on by the whole thing. Then it had to be Will that came over to help me up. Oh from bad to worse; I looked at the hand he held out and I had a memory flash of those hands of his, moving from my waist to my breasts, fingers toying with my nipples. Will has lovely hands, big and strong and curiously gentle. At least they were gentle when Odan was using them. I just stayed there on the floor for a moment, blushing (sometimes I really *hate* being a fair redhead) before I let him help me stand. Did he notice my nipples pushing against my *gi*? I hope not. Oh dear, this is awful; I'm never going to get to sleep. Now I'm *aware* of my breasts. My nipples are rock hard and as I roll over, my pajama top rubs against them. Well, should I delay the inevitable, or just give in and get it over with. Teasing is all well and good, but I've been teasing myself all day. I mean, what in hell possessed me to sit in Ten Forward and stare at Ensign Basewell's butt? With Deanna sitting there next to me! Basewell is only a year or two older than Wesley! I'm ogling little boys, for God's sake. Of course, he does have a nice ass; the kind you want to grab or drum your heels against. Did Deanna know what I was thinking (or worse, feeling)? Probably, but I bet she just thinks the whole thing is funny. Hopefully no one else noticed. Enough! I'm just not going to get any sleep. Good-bye pajamas! Ohhh that feels wonderful. There were times today when I was sure everyone could see them, straining at my uniform top. Thank God for the lab coat! I wonder if *he* noticed them at breakfast. Oh no, why does this always happen? Why do I always think of him? What would his hands be like; would they do what mine are doing? And his mouth, would he move from one side to the other, nibbling and licking until... Ahhh...I'm so wet. I've been wet all day; it's embarrassing. No don't rush it...take it slowly, carefully..think of...what? His hands doing this to me...slowly touching me...sliding around my wet opening...oh yes...like that... And his mouth; he's got to be good at that, I'll bet he loves to go down on women...What would that tongue feel like? Ohhh I'm sooo close...and he's right here...face buried between my legs...his tongue is right there... "Ohhh...God....Ahhhh....!" Oh, that was wonderful, but one just isn't going to be enough tonight. Decision time; do I dig one of the toys out of my drawer or make do with my hands? Hmmm...hands are nice, but...OK, it's toy time. Let's see, not the vibrator right now. Tonight I want to be completely filled up, so it's my trusty polymer dildo to the rescue. And what would *they* think if they knew that I have thoughts like this? Well Deanna would hardly be surprised; Data would ask me to explain, in detail (God, there's an odd thought); Will would just grin one of *those* grins of his; both Geordi and Worf would look truly embaressed and realize that they needed to be someplace else in a hurry. And *Himself* (as O'Brien used to call him)? What would he think? Do I really want to dwell on that right now? Enough...dig through the mental database grab a fantasy at random. Holodeck sex...right after Geordi's promotion...aboard the good ship _Enterprise_ of 1812...*they* have all gone, and it's only us and the ship and the sea. I'm leaning over the railing looking at the ocean flow by and then suddenly I feel his hands on my hips; he's pressed up against me. I arch my back and I feel it, that nice big cock of his, nudging my ass. Whenever we're dressed in these uniforms, I keep sneaking peeks at it, it's so lovely. Damn good thing StarFleet uniforms are less revealing. His hands have moved up to my jacket and we're both tugging at buttons. Then on to the vest; in our hurry, a button goes flying to fall into the sea. Now his hands are holding my breasts through the thin linen shirt. Oh yesss...his fingers are rolling my nipples as I squirm back against his cock with my ass. My own hands are fumbling at my trousers; thirteen buttons how stupid! His hands reach down to pull the trousers down and then he's hurriedly pulling his own trousers off as I step out of mine. Those hands are coming at me from behind now, and I spread my legs...oh yes..oh...I'm so wet...I'm dripping all over his fingers and they're sliding into me with no resistance...God I'm soo hot... "Oh yesssss....just fuck me now..." That voice, that wonderful incredible voice whispering in my ear, *Of course, Ma Belle*. I'm gripping the railing with all my strength as he slides it into me. Oh God...it's so big...but it's OK...I'm so wet and so incredibly ready that it goes all the way into me with no problem...big and thick...completely filling me up...oh yess...ahhhh....I'm close...and he's moving in perfect rhythm...lovely rhythm...a hand on my breast pinching my nipple...the other hand buried in my cunt, fingers sliding over my clit... Oh please...just...now...ohhhh yesss...and I'm... "OOHHH GOD...OH CAPTAIN...JEAN-LUC....YEESSSS!!!!" Mmmmm...that was incredible...that one always does it for me...ahhh...even the aftershocks are good. Of course now I fell just a little silly, here on the bed with my face pressed into the pillow and my butt in the air with this...thing buried inside me. I probably look like some holo-vid sex star. So why do I wish he'd walked in while I was doing this? Why do I wish he'd heard me screaming out his name when I came? Why do I dream of waking up in the middle of the night to find him here touching me? Why am I so afraid? No, no, those questions are dangerous; don't ask, don't even think them. Just get that thing out of you, climb out of bed, put your pajamas back on... Maybe someday... Oh well, at least now I'll be able to sleep. The End