PHUN WHILE CAMPING So, you're going camping! Fishing, hiking, and campfire stories. Sounds fun, eh? But then you also have mosquitos, rain, and feet that hurt. When you balance out the fun stuff and the not fun stuff, you usually don't have a fun time, or a not fun time. You just have a time. But now, with this textfile, you can turn your time into a fun time. Enjoy! LEGAL JUNK: I'm not responsible for anything bad that happens because you attempted to do any of the below stuff. As far as I'm concerned, this file is phor entertainment only. PLAN #1: GO FOR A SWIM Move outhouses around (All you need is a hammer, a screwdriver, and a few friends) and redirect trails over the holes where they used to be (You will need to cover them up with some brush or something, but not something someone can walk over without falling in. PLAN #2: TOILET PAPER SHORTAGE Put laxatives in the water supply. You'll need LOTS, and don't forget to bring your own water and extra toilet paper! PLAN #3: BUBBA THE BOOZER If the camp has couselors, or program managers, sneak into their cabin at night while they are sleeping and put empty beer bottles all over. Then call their supervisor and say that you couldn't sleep because there was a lot of noise coming from that cabin. Funny, that counselor doesn't work there anymore. PLAN #4: TEXAS A&M Take all of the gunpowder from the shotgun range and put it in a wooden crate. Then bury it under where the opening campfire will be. Be sure to sit in the back and watch for falling debris. PLAN #5: CHINESE NERD TORTURE If any of those computer nerds goes camping, take their cell phone during the night and try to get its number (You might want to ask them ahead of time). Now turn it on and call someone you know and tell them to call the number every 15 minutes starting in about ten minutes. Now tie it to a rope. Throw the rope over a tree branch right over the nerd's tent, but out of his reach. Tie the other end to the tree trunk. Now get out of there! PLAN #6: PEARL HARBOR If the camp has a lake and rowboats, take a boat out to the middle of the lake and anchor it there (If the boat doesn't have an anchor, you can make one by taking a 10 foot long rope and tying one end around a cinder block and the other end on one of the benches in the boat). Now get all the fireworks, dynamite, and gunpowder you can find and put it in the boat. Get a nylon rope and stretch it from the boat to a tree on shore, where you tie it off. Be sure it is very tight! Now wrap a wick around the rope from the boat to the tree on shore. Put the end of the wick in the gunpowder on the boat. When you get the wick to shore, attach it to a slow burning wick, which will go to a location near your campsite. When you get there, light it and go to bed! A little bit later, you will hear a BOOM!, followed by yells and chaos and suspicious accustions that someone blew up someone else's propane tank. PLAN #7: A WATERY GRAVE If the camp has a pool, get some red pool dye (I think it's called phenol red) and dye the pool. Now take a scarecrow and throw it in the pool. This is best done the night before you leave. PLAN #8: SOMETHING SMELLS FISHY For this trick you need a camp with a lake and a pool, a fishing pole and lots of buckets and help. Over the course of a few days, catch as many fish as you can and put them is buckets, which will be hidden in the woods. Get some minnows and worms to feed the bigger fish, and bring fish food to feed the smaller fish. The night you plan your prank, sneak into the pumphouse of the pool and have the pump pump the water out of the pool. Pump about half of it out and then pump water in (The idea here is that the chlorine in the pool kills fish, so if drain half of the pool and replace it with non-chlorinated water, it dillutes what is left). After you do that, turn the pump off (Fish can get sucked into the intakes valves and that makes a bloody mess). Now all you have to do is add the fish! PLAN #9: GOIN' TOO FAST Many camps have a lake with rowboats that have motors that only counselors can use. If these happen to be gas powered ones, get a box of mothballs and put them in the fuel tank during the night. When they go to start it up in the morning for their routine patrol for stolen boats, it will turn into not-so-routine speed run. The mothballs raise the octane of the fuel, so the motor turns with more RPMs and is impossible to shut off. The only way to get out of this situation is to bail out or if the engine were to blow, which is quite possible. It's even more interesting if the boat has a full tank of gas. PLAN #10 THE IMPROVED CLASSIC Ask any camper about what is the prank he fears most and the answer will be "When they take your tent down." So to make it better, why not take the tent away? I hope you have enjoyed this textfile. ALL of these pranks must be done at night or you might be caught. The Enphorcer 2-24-01