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Subj: Notefile HOBBIES_AND_INTERESTS Note 179.281
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Date: Thu, 19 Feb 1998 17:51:31 -0500 (EST)
From: Terry Kennedy <KENNEDY@Eisner.DECUS.Org>
Subject: Notefile HOBBIES_AND_INTERESTS Note 179.281
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<<< EISNER::$2$DIA7:[NOTES$HIVOL]HOBBIES_AND_INTERESTS.NOTE;1 >>>
-< HOBBIES_AND_INTERESTS >-
================================================================================
Note 179.281 Jokes (clean and not sick) 281 of 281
EISNER::WESLING "Chris Wesling" 132 lines 19-FEB-1998 14:34
-< Haiku error messages >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A programmer's memo to his boss:
I've been considering adding Haiku to my programs to soften the blow when fatal
errors happen. Here are a few of my favorites.
Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again
The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
Windows NT crashed
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?
I'm sorry, there's -- um --
insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.
Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.
This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.
wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that
To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?
Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.
Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.